You can learn what to say to become more persuasive. But who are you becoming as you learn to say it? That question gets at the difference between applying influence principles and allowing them to change us on the inside, and as a result, how we relate to people. I experienced something similar when I […]
A post I read last week urged people to love themselves more. It promised greater confidence, healthier relationships, and a happier life. Judging by the comments, the message struck a chord with readers. In fact, no one challenged any of the assumptions. I understand why. Many people carry regret, feel inadequate, or struggle to accept […]
Years ago, I heard a sermon about dealing with difficult people. We all have them in our lives—family members, neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances we would rather avoid. Then the pastor said something I have never forgotten: “When I talk about difficult people, remember—someone is thinking about you.” Yikes! It is easy to identify the people […]
Most of us understand the principle of reciprocity this way: When someone does something for us, we feel some obligation to give back. Obligation is a heavy word, it weighs on us, and that’s why reciprocity is such a powerful principle of influence. Give first, particularly when what you give is meaningful, customized, and unexpected, […]
Last week I wrote about why I believe a Loving and Eternal approach to influence is a higher calling than merely Lasting and Ethical. A LinkedIn connection, Reyes Castillo, asked a great follow-up question: “I’m curious how that shows up in your actual coaching. What’s the first thing someone usually has to stop doing once they start asking […]
After publishing Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, I had a eureka moment. If you’ve followed Influence PEOPLE for any length of time, you know PEOPLE is an acronym: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. One day it hit me that PEOPLE could also mean: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to […]
I used to play golf, but I haven’t picked up the clubs in decades. My wife Jane, however, is a big-time golfer, so when the major championships and other big PGA tournaments roll around, we spend plenty of Saturdays and Sundays watching. This past Sunday we watched the final round of the BMW Championship. Wyndham […]
Imagine having to stand in front of your shareholders and say: “Last year we lost $3.77 billion.” That was the situation Warren Buffett faced after Berkshire Hathaway’s difficult 2001. I first heard this story from Robert Cialdini in 2004, when he spoke at several State Auto agency partner meetings. He used Buffett’s situation to illustrate […]
When I teach the science of ethical influence, I often tell audiences that influence is a skill we use from womb to tomb. Most people nod in affirmation when they hear that. Then I share research cited by Dan Pink in To Sell Is Human. He found that the average American worker spends about 40% […]
I recently read a LinkedIn post where the author shared a fascinating study about music in a wine shop. Simply changing the background music dramatically shifted whether customers bought French or German wine. Then someone commented: “What kind of music should I play in my toy store?” I understood the question. But I also think […]
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