Years ago, I heard a sermon about dealing with difficult people. We all have them in our lives—family members, neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances we would rather avoid. Then the pastor said something I have never forgotten: “When I talk about difficult people, remember—someone is thinking about you.” Yikes! It is easy to identify the people […]
Most of us understand the principle of reciprocity this way: When someone does something for us, we feel some obligation to give back. Obligation is a heavy word, it weighs on us, and that’s why reciprocity is such a powerful principle of influence. Give first, particularly when what you give is meaningful, customized, and unexpected, […]
Last week I wrote about why I believe a Loving and Eternal approach to influence is a higher calling than merely Lasting and Ethical. A LinkedIn connection, Reyes Castillo, asked a great follow-up question: “I’m curious how that shows up in your actual coaching. What’s the first thing someone usually has to stop doing once they start asking […]
After publishing Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, I had a eureka moment. If you’ve followed Influence PEOPLE for any length of time, you know PEOPLE is an acronym: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. One day it hit me that PEOPLE could also mean: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to […]
I used to play golf, but I haven’t picked up the clubs in decades. My wife Jane, however, is a big-time golfer, so when the major championships and other big PGA tournaments roll around, we spend plenty of Saturdays and Sundays watching. This past Sunday we watched the final round of the BMW Championship. Wyndham […]
Imagine having to stand in front of your shareholders and say: “Last year we lost $3.77 billion.” That was the situation Warren Buffett faced after Berkshire Hathaway’s difficult 2001. I first heard this story from Robert Cialdini in 2004, when he spoke at several State Auto agency partner meetings. He used Buffett’s situation to illustrate […]
When I teach the science of ethical influence, I often tell audiences that influence is a skill we use from womb to tomb. Most people nod in affirmation when they hear that. Then I share research cited by Dan Pink in To Sell Is Human. He found that the average American worker spends about 40% […]
I recently read a LinkedIn post where the author shared a fascinating study about music in a wine shop. Simply changing the background music dramatically shifted whether customers bought French or German wine. Then someone commented: “What kind of music should I play in my toy store?” I understood the question. But I also think […]
A little over a month ago, I wrote an article titled “Is AI Making Us Lazy Influencers?“ The topic is top of mind again after reading a LinkedIn post that began with this attention-grabbing statement: “I don’t use AI to write my content.” The author quickly explained that statement wasn’t a badge of honor. His point […]
Growth is hard because it almost always involves pain. Think about children. Sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night crying because of growing pains. They don’t understand that their bones are stretching, their bodies are changing, but they know they’re experiencing pain. The same is true throughout life. When I competed in […]
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