Transformation: Going from Persuasive to Influential
You can learn what to say to become more persuasive. But who are you becoming as you learn to say it? That question gets at the difference between applying influence principles and allowing them to change us on the inside, and as a result, how we relate to people. I experienced something similar when I […]
The Self-Love Delusion
A post I read last week urged people to love themselves more. It promised greater confidence, healthier relationships, and a happier life. Judging by the comments, the message struck a chord with readers. In fact, no one challenged any of the assumptions. I understand why. Many people carry regret, feel inadequate, or struggle to accept […]
Loving Unlikable and Difficult People
Years ago, I heard a sermon about dealing with difficult people. We all have them in our lives—family members, neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances we would rather avoid. Then the pastor said something I have never forgotten: “When I talk about difficult people, remember—someone is thinking about you.” Yikes! It is easy to identify the people […]
Giving Changes the Giver
Most of us understand the principle of reciprocity this way: When someone does something for us, we feel some obligation to give back. Obligation is a heavy word, it weighs on us, and that’s why reciprocity is such a powerful principle of influence. Give first, particularly when what you give is meaningful, customized, and unexpected, […]
Influence from the Inside Out
Last week I wrote about why I believe a Loving and Eternal approach to influence is a higher calling than merely Lasting and Ethical. A LinkedIn connection, Reyes Castillo, asked a great follow-up question: “I’m curious how that shows up in your actual coaching. What’s the first thing someone usually has to stop doing once they start asking […]
