Arouse an Eager Want: Give People a Reason to Care
Have you ever had someone to say yes to you but still found yourself chasing them down to follow through? The employee agrees in the meeting. The prospect asks for a proposal. Your teenager says, “Okay.” But nothing happens. Sometimes the missing ingredient is a reason that matters to them. Dale Carnegie encouraged readers to […]
Transformation: Going from Persuasive to Influential
You can learn what to say to become more persuasive. But who are you becoming as you learn to say it? That question gets at the difference between applying influence principles and allowing them to change us on the inside, and as a result, how we relate to people. I experienced something similar when I […]
The Self-Love Delusion
A post I read last week urged people to love themselves more. It promised greater confidence, healthier relationships, and a happier life. Judging by the comments, the message struck a chord with readers. In fact, no one challenged any of the assumptions. I understand why. Many people carry regret, feel inadequate, or struggle to accept […]
Loving Unlikable and Difficult People
Years ago, I heard a sermon about dealing with difficult people. We all have them in our lives—family members, neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances we would rather avoid. Then the pastor said something I have never forgotten: “When I talk about difficult people, remember—someone is thinking about you.” Yikes! It is easy to identify the people […]
Giving Changes the Giver
Most of us understand the principle of reciprocity this way: When someone does something for us, we feel some obligation to give back. Obligation is a heavy word, it weighs on us, and that’s why reciprocity is such a powerful principle of influence. Give first, particularly when what you give is meaningful, customized, and unexpected, […]
