The Overlap of Unity and Love
Everything changed in March when our first grandchild, Emmett, arrived. It’s hard to describe the joy this little guy brings simply by existing. We’re blessed that Abigail and Tyler live only ten minutes away, allowing us to see Emmett multiple times a week and watch him grow.
As I see him discover the world, I think about what’s happening in his brain. He doesn’t understand words yet, but his mind is forming connections at an astonishing rate. One day, he will know what hands are, what stars are, and what a house is. It’s a beautiful reminder of how we’re wired to learn and adapt.
Naturally, my screensaver is a picture of Emmett. Every time I see it, I think, I love that little guy. But what does this have to do with influence?
Robert Cialdini’s principle of Unity teaches that we are more likely to say “yes” to those with whom we share a deep bond—a shared identity. Nowhere is that bond stronger than in families, where we share the same genetic makeup.
There are things we’ll do for family, even for relatives we don’t particularly like, that we would never consider doing for friends. You’d likely donate an organ to a family member before you’d consider doing so for even your closest friend. We’re wired this way to ensure our family lines continue, and it’s why unity creates such powerful influence.
I believe Unity is the principle of influence that most closely aligns with love. Not the romantic kind, but the biblical kind of love, defined as putting another’s well-being ahead of your own. Parents would rather suffer themselves than see their children suffer. It’s the highest form of sacrifice, and I believe it’s built into us by God.
With Emmett, this becomes clear in new ways. Babies are completely dependent on others for survival, yet they bring us joy without having to do anything. Their simple existence is enough.
While I don’t wish away a moment of these early days, I look forward to the day when Emmett can speak and begin to understand the world. I want to pass on to him the lessons I’ve learned about life, faith, and ethical influence—just as Jane and I did with Abigail when she was born.
Back then, our desire was to pour the best of ourselves into Abigail while helping her avoid the mistakes we made. I believe if we can do this with our children, the world becomes a better place, one person at a time.
Three decades later, we have the opportunity to do the same with Emmett. The challenges of 2025 are different from those in 1995, but human beings are still wired the same way. Despite technological advances, the human brain hasn’t changed in any significant way for more than 30,000 years. Emmett is working with the same hardware you and I have.
The opportunity to teach him how to influence people ethically, how to navigate life’s challenges, and how to walk with God excites me more than I can express.
None of us will live forever, but parts of us live on through our children and grandchildren. As we share what we’ve learned, they carry those lessons forward. In that sense, we all continue on—if we choose to instill in those we love the wisdom we’ve gained.
Much like influence, everyone understands this truth at some level, but few approach it thoughtfully and intentionally. I encourage you to think about those you love:
- Are you actively instilling in them the best parts of yourself?
- Are you sharing the lessons that will help them live happy, fruitful lives?
If not, there’s no better time to start than today. Unity and love aren’t just abstract concepts; they are the quiet, daily opportunities we have to leave a meaningful legacy—and influence the world for the better, one life at a time.
What’s one lesson you hope to pass on to those you love? Share it below—I’d love to hear it.
Do you want to see more of this kind of comparison? Take a look at this sneak preview from my upcoming book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet.
Edited with ChatGPT
Brian Ahearn
Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.
An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.
As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.
Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.
Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 750,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!