Influence Tips for Running a Restaurant – Part 4

This is the final post in what turned out to be a four-part series on ways restaurants can ethically engage customers using the principles of influence to create win-win situations. If you’re a server at a restaurant, pay close attention—what I’m about to share is something you’ll want to avoid.

Customers often ask about different dishes, saying things like, “How’s the fish?” Too often, servers respond by sharing their personal preferences, saying something like, “It’s one of my favorites” or “I love it.” While these statements may be true, they’re a mistake. Why? Because everyone has different tastes. If the customer ends up disliking the dish, the recommendation is tied back to the server, which could hurt tips.

A better approach would be to engage the principle of consensus, as people tend to look to others for validation when making decisions. Instead of giving a personal opinion, a server might say, “It’s one of our customers’ favorites” or “Several people have already had it today and said it’s delicious.” These responses rely on consensus, while also deflecting potential criticism in case the customer doesn’t enjoy the dish.

Here’s another tip for servers: The liking principle tells us that people like to do business with those they like. The more a server can get customers to like them, the better the odds of receiving a favorable tip. Beyond the standard, “I’m Sally, and I’ll be waiting on you today,” servers should consider asking customers for their names.

I’ll never forget Ryan, a bartender at Friday’s, from a trip I made to Nashville years ago. When Ryan came to take my order, he introduced himself, asked my name, and shook my hand during the quick exchange. Each time he checked on me, he used my name.

“How’s your food, Brian?”
“Would you like another beer, Brian?”
“So, what brings you to Nashville, Brian?”

After a while, I felt like a friend was waiting on me. Needless to say, Ryan earned a very nice tip.

Little things like this can go a long way. A smart server is observant and looks for similarities to connect with customers. Whether it’s a shared hometown, favorite sports team, or even a similar name, finding and raising those mutual interests engages the principle of liking. This connection increases the odds that customers will enjoy the dining experience more.

Another tactic for engaging liking is to offer genuine compliments. Abraham Lincoln was right when he said, “Everyone loves a compliment.” Servers should look for something authentic to praise—perhaps a customer’s outfit, choice of dish, or even their demeanor—and raise it to the surface. Compliments make customers feel good, and those positive feelings are often associated with the server and the restaurant, benefiting everyone.

What’s nice about this approach is that it’s reciprocal: as servers find things they admire in customers and connect over shared interests, they often begin to genuinely like the customers they’re serving. When customers sense that their server enjoys waiting on them, they feel better too, creating a positive feedback loop. Everyone wins.

While there are undoubtedly more strategies restaurants can implement, incorporating the suggestions I’ve shared throughout this series can make a meaningful difference. Customers will feel more engaged and enjoy their dining experiences even more, and the best part? As I mentioned at the start of this series, implementing these changes costs almost nothing.

Brian, CMCT

influencepeople

Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.