The Joy of Winning vs. The Pain of Losing

A few days before the big weekend of turkey and football, I saw the following quote on ESPN.com regarding the Iron Bowl—the intense Alabama–Auburn rivalry:

“The fear of losing the game is worse than the joy of winning and participating.”

That statement came from David Housel, retired athletic director at Auburn, and it was repeated during the game by Gary Danielson, one of the CBS broadcasters covering the matchup.

There’s a principle of influence known as scarcity that illustrates Housel’s point perfectly: people are more motivated by what they stand to lose than by what they stand to gain.

In simple terms, if you’re like most people, you’d feel more pain from losing $100 than pleasure from finding or winning $100. In fact, according to some behavioral economics studies, the pain of loss is about twice as powerful as the pleasure of gain.

Was Alfred, Lord Tennyson correct when he wrote, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”?I’m willing to bet that some who loved, lost, and never loved again might beg to differ.

Now, I’m not advocating avoiding love. But you’d do well to consider carefully who you give your heart to, because the potential pain could outweigh the perceived joy.

So, how can this insight into scarcity help you?

Two ways:

1. Motivating people to take action.

2. Avoiding unnecessary or impulsive actions yourself.

If you want to motivate people to act, scarcity can be a powerful ally. When you make a request, is there a legitimate downside if the other person doesn’t take action? If so, make that downside part of your message.

For example, where I work, we have to renew our benefits each year by selecting exactly what we want. A reminder like, “If you don’t select your benefits by November 19, you won’t have any,” is a surefire way to get people moving. Nobody wants to lose their health benefits.

On the flip side, some people use scarcity in less-than-ethical ways.

Have you ever had a home repair salesman—roofing, siding, painting—tell you at the end of a presentation:

“This discounted price is only good today because I have so many other clients to see. If I have to make a return trip, I won’t be able to offer you this price.”

If you hear something like that, consider toying with the salesperson a bit:

“So if I call you tomorrow ready to buy, you’re telling me I can’t have this price? You’d rather go spend 90 minutes with someone who probably won’t buy than return to make a guaranteed sale in 15 minutes? Good luck with that strategy.”

Then politely show them the door. You don’t need to deal with someone who’s being manipulative.

Yes, there are times when scarcity is real—supplies run out, deadlines matter—but all too often, that “only good today” line is just that: a line.

During the holiday season, sales often end at certain times, and you may need to act quickly. But it’s always worth asking yourself:

“Am I making this purchase based on the item’s value—or am I just afraid of missing out?”

Fact is, sales come and go so frequently that it’s rare we truly lose a meaningful opportunity.

Now, when it comes to love? If you don’t ask out that person you’ve had your eye on, someone else might—so give that some serious thought. Love can be awesome.

Despite the risks scarcity presents, I’m in the camp that says: go for it, and deal with the consequences later.

Oh, and back to that Iron Bowl: Auburn won 28–27, keeping their national title hopes alive. I suspect the joy Auburn fans felt didn’t come close to the pain experienced by Alabama fans—especially since the game was played at Alabama, and they had a 24–0 lead at one point.

Ouch.

Brian, CMCT