Once Upon A Time – A Good Twitter Lesson
Once upon a time – most good stories with a moral start this way – I learned a good lesson on Twitter. I was trying to get the word out about a blog series I’d written. Beyond just sending tweets about my articles, I got in touch with a few dozen people to see if they would help me spread the word.
When using Twitter you can send a direct message (DM) to people who follow you. To ask for help I sent direct messages to people I’d had some contact with. In the past many of these folks had retweeted (RT) my material.
At the time this occurred I had about 1200 followers who could see whatever I shared. Imagine if 24 followers each had about that many people following them. If they retweeted my message then all of a sudden instead of just 1200 seeing a tweet potentially 30,000 have a chance to see that same message!
Since social media was so new at the time, there were many unwritten rules and that can lead to trouble. When I directly asked people if they’d help me by retweeting my posts, it bothered one follower so much that he posted the message below to his followers in the public space:
@BrianAhearn Please don’t DM me articles and then ask me to RT them. #tacky #unfollow
As you might imagine, #tacky was telling people what I did was tacky and the #unfollow was telling anyone who followed me that they should stop following. Ouch!
He took his own advice and stopped following me so I couldn’t send him a direct message to try and work it out. My choices were; let it go or try to work it out in the public space.
I chose the second option, but before I did I called a friend whose opinions on social media I respect. Not only did Paul Hebert give me good advice, it allowed me to get my emotions in check. I put the following message in the public arena:
@Name I was looking for help from folks who’d RT posts in the past. Wasn’t trying to be tacky. You could have contacted to discuss? (Meaning, why didn’t you send me a direct message rather than air it in public?)
Shortly I saw the follow on Twitter’s public space:
@BrianAhearn I am of the school of thought that folks will RT what they think is interesting. Put the info out there & we’ll find/spread it.
I thought, fair enough but I didn’t think I violated a rule by simply asking for help so I responded one more time:
@Name Appreciate the response. Please accept apology. I am learning as I go like many others, didn’t mean to offend. All good?
Now I was taking my own medicine. When you want to influence someone, a good way to do so is by engaging the principle of authority. One aspect of authority is admitting weakness or a mistake to gain trust. Apologizing also engages reciprocity because when you apologize you’re conceding a little and often times people will meet you part way. I was hoping my apology would open a door and it did because here’s what I saw next:
@BrianAhearn Aren’t we all still learning?! Your explanation helped me to understand your methods. Thanks for following up.
Then not too long after that tweet I noticed he was once again following me and he posted this message online:
Kudos to @BrianAhearn for communicating with me this morning when I didn’t understand or appreciate his Twitter method.
In my eyes that last message in the public space was a classy move. Now that he was a follower again I sent him a direct message and invited him to have a beer or coffee on me next time he was in Columbus. It so happened he had plans to be in town the following afternoon so we got together.
We talked about the exchange and he said he’d never previously done anything like that – post a public message on a disagreement – so we both learned a good lesson. Personally, I felt good about not giving in to my initial emotional reaction – anger – because I found a way to make things right. Even better, I made a friend who turned out to be a really nice guy and we had much in common. In the end it was all good.
How can you Influence PEOPLE?
There are several morals to this story. First, when you are highly emotional, don’t do anything rash because it usually doesn’t turn out well. Next, turn to a trusted friend to help you sort out the situation and your thinking. Third, if you are able to resolve the issues, take one more step and try to build a friendship. You can see it turned out well for me, so I’ll close the way most good stories usually do – And all’s well that ends well. The End
Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT
Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.
Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller in several categories. His next book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, will be available by year-end.
Brian’s LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.
Great example! Thanks, Brian. @njgina