Last week, the world lost one of its best-known comedians when Robin Williams ended his life after struggling for years with severe depression. Williams was beyond famous; he was beloved. We lose famous people all the time, but I cannot recall seeing such an outpouring of gratitude, sympathy, and a sense of loss on social media as I saw with his passing. I wonder if he’d have known how big an impact, he had on so many people, and how deeply they felt connected to him, if it would have made a difference in his last moments.

This post isn’t about Robin Williams, but his passing brings to light the reality about how much we experience the pain of loss. Behavioral economists Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize winner, and his late partner, Amos Tversky, studied this phenomenon and here’s what they found: Humans feel the pain of loss – an application of the principle of scarcity – anywhere from 2.0-2.5 times more than the joy of gaining the very same thing.

Here is a sad but true reality – we will eventually lose everyone we love, or we will be lost to those who love us. There is no way to avoid the pain of loss known as death.

There is however a pain we can reduce or remove during our lifetimes – the pain of regret. Unfortunately, all too often we have this pain heaped on top of the pain of loss. You may have already experienced it or seen others deal with it. The pain of regret comes out in statements like these:

I wish I would have…

I should have…

I could have…

I regret that I didn’t…

The list could go on and on. We are so pressed by life, too often by our own choices, that we don’t give ourselves enough to those who mean the most. In the midst of loss and the pain of regret people see more clearly that loved ones and those who’ve impacted their lives in meaningful ways are far more important than a new house, cleaning the car, spending a few more hours in the office, or checking the text that’s coming in at that moment.

So, what are we to do? As human beings we must never forget we have the capacity to choose! We can choose to spend less time at work, to not worry so much about the house, to realize washing the car can wait, to know the world won’t end if we don’t check our text every few minutes.

I’m sure many people wish they’d have told Robin Williams how much he meant to them, the joy his movies brought into their lives, and how the laughter he gave them brightened their day. But they can’t now.

The past is over, nothing more than a memory now, and the future isn’t guaranteed. All you have is the moment you’re living in right now so what will you do with it? Will you take the time to hug your spouse or kids a little tighter, perhaps a little longer, and tell them you love them? Will you reach out to someone you’ve not talked to in a while say, “I’m thinking of you and appreciate you?” Maybe you could thank your parents for all they invested in you. I could go on, but you get the point. Connect with someone in a meaningful way because it will benefit both of you.

Life is short. I’m already 50 years old and 25 didn’t seem that long ago. God willing, I may look back at 75 and think, “Wow, those last 25 years went by faster than I could have imagined!” I don’t want to live with regret. Losing anyone I love will be hard enough, but I want to look back and know I spent my time on earth well. My hope is you can do the same.