Tag Archive for: Why

My Golden Circle

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Simon Sinek popularized the concept of the Golden Circle. He believes initially people are much more concerned with Why you do what you do as opposed to How you do it or the details of What you do. How and What are just as important as Why but the order in which you talk about them matters, especially when you engage people early on.

The Golden Circle has Why at the center because it’s where you should start conversations. Once people understand your Why they’ll be more open to hear How you go about fulfilling your Why. That’s the next layer in the Golden Circle. Finally comes the outer circle because once they know Why and How, they’ll be more apt to listen to What you actually do.

Sinek’s thought process resonates with me so I thought I’d let you know my Golden Circle. Using Sinek’s model my Golden Circle looks like this:

  • Why – Help people enjoy more professional success and personal happiness
  • How – Teach people the science of ethical influence
  • What – Speak, write, train, coach, and consult

Why

I think it’s safe to say most people would like to enjoy more success at work. Quite often success comes about when someone says yes to your new product idea, sales proposal or management change to name just a few. Getting to yes can be tough…unless you understand how to ethically influence others.

Likewise, I believe everyone would like to enjoy more peace and happiness at home. After nearly 30 years of marriage and raising a daughter I can tell you from firsthand experience that life at home is much more peaceful and happy when my wife and daughter willingly say yes to me. I think they’d tell you there’s more peace and happiness when I willingly say yes to them too.

How

How do you get others to say yes to you more often? Science. Did you know there’s more than 70 years of research into the psychology of persuasion? That’s right, more than seven decades of studies from behavioral economists and social psychologist into this field of study.

One of the most prominent researchers is Robert Cialdini, PhD., the most cited living social psychologist in the world when it comes to the science of ethical influence. As one of only a few dozen people in the world certified to train on his behalf I can share insights with you that will significantly increase the odds of achieving that professional success and personal happiness you’d like to enjoy.

What

So, what is it that I do to help people? Most obvious, because you’re reading this, is blogging. I’ve been writing weekly on this topic for almost 10 years. Like clockwork, every Monday a new blog post goes live. If you’re enjoying more professional success and personal happiness because of what I write then why not share the blog to help others?

When it comes to speaking I do lots of keynote presentations. I believe keynotes should be fun, entertaining and most importantly actionable. If you’ve attended one of my talks then you know you’ll hear interesting stories, learn some fascinating science and most importantly you’ll get application ideas. After leaving a presentation you’ll have at least a handful of things you can immediately use to be more persuasive.

I separate training from speaking because the training I do is typically one or two full days as opposed to 60-90 minutes. This allows for deep learning when it comes to the principles of influence. More important that the learning (head knowledge), participants get to apply their learning in class. Being persuasive is a skill that needs to be practiced if it’s something you want to excel at.

Coaching is the best way to get better at almost anything skill related. That’s why we see the best athletes in the world continually working with coaches. A coach will push you, encourage you, hold you accountable and share insights you might not otherwise get. Coaching sessions are usually 30 minutes and are tailored to an individual’s particular needs.

Last but not least is consulting. Sometimes there’s a need that has to be addressed immediately. There may not be time for a workshop or coaching because a problem needs to be solved now. Immediate needs aside, some people don’t have time to attend a workshop or know they wouldn’t have the discipline to put into practice what they learn. That’s okay because we can talk about your specific situation and work together to make sure they’re addressed.

Interesting in learning more?

Click here to set up a 15-minute introductory phone call.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only 20 people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller in several categories.

Brian’s LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.

 

Do You Love What You Do?

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You’ve probably heard the old saying; if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life. This came to mind as I took an Uber to the airport last week and told the driver I love what I do. He said it’s really rare when he hears someone say that and he’s done nearly 400 Uber trips.

Do you love what you do? I love what I do but it’s still work. Some days are tougher than others and sometimes it’s hard to get going early in the morning. I certainly love my wife Jane more than work but marriage takes a lot of work and isn’t always fun either.

Having said that, I do believe if you love doing something it’s far easier to do it and to do it with passion. Love and passion both give you better odds for success. I first learned this through athletics. For example, when I was in college I ran the weightlifting club for three years. During that time, I competed in powerlifting and after college competed in bodybuilding for three years. I loved weight training and dieting so competition served as motivation to do what I loved with more energy and intensity. It made the hard work fun!

Start with Why

Most of this starts with the mind. Simon Sinek would ask what’s your why? That’s the first step. When I started lifting weights I didn’t love it right off the bat. I was doing it because I wanted to get bigger and stronger for football. It was hard and I was sore an awful lot but I kept focusing on the next football season.

With influence my why was sales. I was involved in sales training and when I came across Robert Cialdini’s principles of persuasion the light bulb came on. I remember thinking, “This explains all the sales techniques we teach. It’s the psychology that makes the techniques work.” With that understanding I was hooked!

Small Wins

You can’t expect success overnight so look for the small wins. These milestones can keep you excited and eventually enough wins show real progress. Another of my outside activities was taekwondo with my daughter Abigail. The small wins for us was the progression from white belt to black belt. Each time you reached a new plateau the new belt was a visible reminder of the progress we were making.

With my influence training the small wins come each time I do a keynote or workshop. I usually get evaluation feedback from attendees so I can see comments and scores that have improved over the years. Feedback from others is valuable in case I have blind spots but the real evaluation is self-evaluation. There are often little things I keep refining, things people in the audience might not consciously think about but add to making the event great for them.

Enjoy Success

We all like things more when we believe we’re having success. Unfortunately, some people never let themselves enjoy success. Taking time to enjoy what you’ve accomplished is a critical component of loving what you do.

Another physical activity I did for many years was run marathons and half marathons. In several I did really well for my size (an over 200 lbs. runner) and I made sure I allowed myself to enjoy my performance. I’ve heard some people who do nothing but belittle their accomplishments saying things like:

“The competition wasn’t very good.” That’s not what everyone who finished behind you said!

“There were not many people in my category.” You had the guts to enter the competition and others didn’t.

“It wasn’t as good as I did last time.” But you did it and that’s worth something even if you didn’t perform your best.

I just wrote about small wins in the form of feedback. Before I dive into the feedback after a presentation and begin to figure out what to do next I let myself enjoy the moment. If I feel like I gave a great presentation I’ll tell people “I killed it” and relish it for a while. One organization said they’d not gotten feedback as high as mine except for the time Colin Powell spoke! I’m proud of that and still let myself enjoy that moment.

Only after I’ve enjoyed success for a while do I jump in and start strategizing about what needs to change next time so I can do even better.

Let’s recap. If you know why you do what you do, you’re continually seeing small wins, and you allow yourself to enjoy your success that’s a sure-fire way to enjoy, perhaps start loving, what you do. Don’t just meander through life, apply this three-step approach to whatever you’re doing and you will enjoy it more.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®, is the Chief Influence Officer at InfluencePEOPLE. His Lynda.com course, Persuasive Selling, has been viewed more than 100,000 times! Have you seen it yet? It will teach you how to ethically engage the psychology of persuasion throughout the sales process.

Why Study Persuasion? You Can’t Afford Not To!

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There never seems to be enough time in the day to do all that you want to or all that you need to. So why should you spend your precious time learning about persuasion? Because you cant afford not to!

Let’s start with exactly what I mean when I talk about persuasion. Persuasion is not simply about changing a person’s thinking because if the change in thinking doesn’t lead to a change in behavior have you really gained anything? For example, if you ask your child to clean their room, which do you want to have happen?

  1. Have your child acknowledge cleaning their room is a good idea (changed thinking).
  2. Have your child actually clean their room (changed behavior).

I don’t know any parent who would be satisfied with A. When we try to persuade we want to change behaviors and that’s why I believe Aristotle has given us the best definition of persuasion. He said it was, “The art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” Someone isn’t doing something so you interact with him or her in hopes of changing their behavior in some way.

What you may not realize is how much of your day is spent persuading people. In To Sell is Human Daniel Pink cites a survey of more than 7,000 business people in non-sales positions. He wrote, “People are now spending about 40 percent of their time at work engaged in non-sales selling – persuading, influencing, and convincing others in ways that don’t involve anyone making a purchase.” If you happen to be in sales that percentage is probably greater than 60%.

That means if you’re like the typical worker you spend more than three hours a day attempting to persuade others! Over the course your career you’ll spend upwards of 40,000 hours engaged in the act of persuasion at work!!

So let me ask this – if you’re going to do something for at least three hours a day, 40,000 hours over a lifetime (and that doesn’t include time persuading your spouse, kids and others outside of work), wouldn’t it be wise to understand how to do it to the best of your ability? Put another way, can you afford not to become more skilled at persuasion? There’s a lot at stake at work and at home when it comes to perfecting your persuasion skills so I encourage you to tune in next week to find out more.