Why Did I Go Upstairs?

Last week, while at home juggling several work tasks, I noticed my MacBook Pro prompting me to run an overdue update. Pausing my work, I initiated the update. This moment of maintenance sparked a thought about my other computer, a MacBook Air, stationed in my video studio for live presentations. Suspecting it needed the same care, I made my way upstairs.

As I entered the studio, something unexpected caught my eye—the usual mattress sprawled on the floor had vanished. That led me to believe it was moved into the guest bedroom in anticipation of our great nephews’ visit. My hunch was correct as I stepped out of the studio and spotted it in the guest room. But then a new thought hit me: “Why did I come upstairs?” Despite knowing there was a reason, no matter how much I focused, the reason escaped me. It wasn’t until I laid down to clear my mind in our bedroom that the original intent came back tome—to update my MacBook Air.

This isn’t a story of aging memory but a common human experience. Our good intentions, no matter how simple, can be derailed by distractions, leading us to momentarily forget our purpose. At the heart of these moments is our limited attention span. Contrary to popular belief, our capacity to hold information in working memory is quite limited, and our focus is easily diverted.

You’ve likely heard the term “paying attention,” akin to a cognitive expenditure. Allocating attention to one aspect inherently means neglecting others. In my TEDx Talk on Pre-Suasion, I delve into setting the stage for influence success. The groundwork laid before attempting to influence someone can significantly impact their receptiveness if it’s done thoughtfully and strategically.

In today’s information-saturated society, capturing and maintaining someone’s attention is a formidable challenge for marketers and salespeople alike. So, the next time you’re getting ready for an important conversation that requires influence, ponder how you can grab and direct attention to ensure the recipient is most open to your message. For a practical demonstration, I invite you to watch my TEDx Talk, particularly the opening story. Decades ago, I instinctively knew the importance of pre-suasion, even without the full understanding I have today.

Our journey through life is filled with moments of forgetfulness, sidetracked by the unexpected. Yet, these instances offer profound lessons in the art of influence. By mastering the skill of capturing and directing attention, you can set the stage for meaningful connections and persuasive conversations. 

Edited by ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 700,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!