Faith and Influence: What I Told Cialdini That Brought Me to Tears

In 2003, I had no idea a simple email would change the course of my career—and my life.

I first encountered Dr. Robert Cialdini through a video of him speaking at Stanford. His explanation of the psychology of persuasion—how to ethically influence others—resonated deeply. Soon after, I noticed a Stanford marketing catalog describing his work with a word that didn’t sit right: manipulation. That struck a nerve because I knew his approach was anything but manipulative. So, I reached out to Stanford to offer a little advice.

That email sparked a phone call from a representative at INFLUENCE AT WORK—and eventually, a connection with Dr. Cialdini himself. Just a year later, in the summer of 2004, he visited Columbus, Ohio, to speak to insurance agents that represented my former company. And as they say, the rest is history.

Fast Forward

Today, more than two decades later, I’m one of only a dozen people worldwide certified to teach Dr. Cialdini’s methodology. I’ve built a career helping others apply his principles ethically to enjoy more professional success and personal happiness.

In May 2024, I had the honor of speaking at Influence Amplified, a conference celebrating the 40th anniversary of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Dr. Cialdini sat in the front row.

As I began my talk, I had to pause—emotion welled up unexpectedly. “I always get emotional at the most inconvenient times,” I joked. “My wife would tell you I’m normally not an emotional guy. But before I say anything else, I want to thank you—not just for changing my career, but for changing my life.”

It was hard to get the words out.

“Your work changed my life; how I interact with people, my wife Jane, how we raised our daughter, and how I interact with my friends. This goes beyond my career, so I wanted to thank you.”

As I stood there, holding back tears, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. The kind that brings clarity.

I was reminded of something our former pastor once said: “The greatest compliment you can give someone is to say, ‘I thank God for you.’”

I thank God for Dr. Cialdini. His influence on my life has been nothing short of eternal.

That may sound like an overstatement—but it’s not.

Over 30 years ago, I wrote a personal mission statement that begins: “When I die, I want to hear God say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’” (Matthew 25:21)

My work teaching influence isn’t just about helping clients close deals or lead better teams. It’s about aligning truth, psychology, and purpose. It’s about helping people treat others with dignity, authenticity, and respect—while also achieving extraordinary outcomes.

Influenced from Above

In my upcoming book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, I explore how the principles Dr. Cialdini popularized mirror spiritual truths that have existed for millennia. When we understand those connections—when head knowledge becomes heart knowledge—we not only become more persuasive… we become more like the people we’re called to be.

Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, serving clients, or simply navigating relationships, influence is part of your daily life. As I write in Influence PEOPLE, influence is about PEOPLE:  Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical.

Perhaps, based on my new insight, I should replace “Ethical” with “Eternal.”

We all influence someone. The question is: How are we doing it?

• Are we building people up or breaking trust down?
• Are we pointing toward truth or pulling using manipulation?
• Are we leading others in ways that have temporal impact—or eternal?

I hope Influenced from Above prompts readers to wrestle with those questions because ultimately, I want to live in a way that, long after I’m gone, others will say of me what I said of Dr. Cialdini: “I thank God for you.” Do you want that?

Want a sneak peek of the new book?

Click here to preview Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet.

Let me close with a couple of questions:

• Who are you thankful for?
• How has influence shaped your faith, leadership, or relationships?

I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear your story and I’m sure others would benefit too.

Edited by ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 800,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!