Influence Begins Long Before We Speak

When most people think of influence, they think of words — what we say, how we say it, and how persuasive our arguments might be. But influence isn’t just about language. It’s a relational skill. And, as I’ve learned from Dr. Karen Molano, a child psychologist and early development specialist, influence starts long before we ever speak a word.

Karen works with families who have children five and under, helping parents build deeper connections with their kids by aligning their approaches with how the brain, body, and heart actually work. Her blend of neuroscience and Eastern wisdom offers something I greatly value: a holistic, ethical approach to influence.

One insight from our conversations really stuck with me: Influence isn’t just psychological — it’s physiological.

That’s right. A child’s ability to follow through, cooperate, and stay consistent isn’t only about what they’re told. It’s about how they feel. When a child feels safe, connected, and emotionally regulated, they’re much more likely to respond positively to the people around them.

And here’s the interesting part — this applies just as much to adults:

• Stressed teams are harder to lead.
• Tense work environments breed resistance.
• Dysregulated emotions undermine consistent behavior.

Whether you’re guiding a toddler or leading a team, the principle holds true: Connection creates the conditions for influence.

During our podcast conversation, Karen and I will explore how commitment, consistency, and emotional regulation shape human behavior — from the nursery to the boardroom. We’ll talk about what it means to influence ethically and how understanding someone’s internal state is just as important as crafting the right message.

This is a conversation that bridges the science of influence with the art of human connection — something I believe is foundational, whether you’re raising kids or closing deals.

Stay tuned. I think you’ll walk away with insights you can apply at home, at work, and everywhere in between.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling and Influenced from Above were Amazon new release bestsellers. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 800,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!