Moving Business from Transactional to Relational

This week I’m in Houston working with a client, and getting here is a perfect example of why moving business from transactional to relational changes everything.

About six years ago, I spent a few days with this same client, providing one-on-one sales and influence training for their lead salesperson. We capped it off with a day listening to his sales calls so I could give real-time feedback. He was thrilled with the results because the training didn’t just help his career—it impacted how he communicated in everyday life.

And I genuinely enjoyed working with him, so I made it a point to stay in touch. A quick email here, a text to check in there, an occasional call to see how things were going—small touchpoints that turned into a real relationship.

In the years that followed, he got married and had a child. I became a grandfather. We celebrated those milestones together from afar. Earlier this year, when he decided to leave the company, he encouraged the owner to bring me back to train his replacements. A month later, I got the call, and here I am again in Houston, ready to help this organization—and to build new relationships.

Here’s what I want you to take away:
People want to do business with people they know, like, and trust. But more than that, they want to do business with people who know them, like them, and care about them.

During my years at State Auto Insurance, I would leave early on Mondays and return late Thursdays or Fridays when visiting a regional office. It would have been easier to fly in, do my training, and fly out because I was busy. However, I knew that breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and after work activities, those small moments of conversation were where the real influence happened.

The people I trained didn’t see me as “the home office guy” telling them what to do. They saw me as Brian, someone who genuinely liked and cared for them. And because of that, they were more open to putting influence principles into practice, which led to better results for them—and for the company.

Those relationships didn’t just improve business in the moment. Years later, as people moved on to new companies, they would reach out, remembering our connection. Relationships have a way of opening doors that transactions alone never will.

I believe the relationships we build are the only things we take with us into eternity. Our businesses and careers are simply vehicles that help us build and nurture those connections—if we choose to prioritize people over transactions.

Sadly, many get this backwards. They chase numbers while neglecting people, forgetting that making money is good, but building relationships is great.

If you want to move your business from transactional to relational, tap into the principle of liking—not to get people to like you, but to take the time to know, appreciate, and genuinely like them. People are far more receptive to your influence when they feel seen and valued.

Influence is all about people. Ethical influence isn’t about manipulating others into a “yes.” It’s about building trusted relationships so they’re open to your ideas because they experience your authenticity.

So, here’s my challenge to you this week:

• Check in on a past client, not to sell, but to see how they’re doing.
  Look for small ways to connect with the people you serve.
  Invest a little more time in conversations that build connection, not just transactions.
• You might be surprised at how much more effective your influence becomes when you start with genuine connection.

How have you seen relationships drive business in your career? I’d love to hear your stories and ideas in the comments.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 750,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!