Tag Archive for: Hoh Kim

Influencers from Around the World – Apologies: The Language of Losers or Leaders?

/3 Comments/by

This month’s article is from Hoh Kim, CMCT. Hoh is one only 27 Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world. I wish you all had an opportunity to meet Hoh as I did when we got our CMCT designations together several years ago. He has a wonderful, warm, and engaging personality so I know you’d enjoy spending time with him. Being a native of South Korea he gives us a unique perspective on the differences and similarities between the Asian and American cultures when it comes to influence and persuasion. I know you’ll enjoy what he has to share this week.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Apologies: The Language of Losers or Leaders?
One of Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence is authority which tells us people say “Yes” to people who have authority or expertise. That’s why people care about professional titles, academic degrees, and awards. But, this is not the whole story. According to Dr. Cialdini, to have authority, you need two things: expertise and trustworthiness. Most people know how to build expertise in their area with education, professional experiences, degrees, etc. But what about trustworthiness? Dr. Cialdini says one way it can be gained is by how you communicate your weaknesses, rather than strengths. Credible people share their weaknesses first before others and quite often competitors do. I’ve been helping corporate executives learn how to communicate in crisis situations such as product recalls, scandals, etc. In my field there’s a term know as the “paradox of transparency” and it perfectly aligns with Dr. Cialdini’s theory about authority. According to the paradox, when a company makes a mistake or wrongdoing, they have a tendency to behave in a “non-transparent” manner, such as keeping a silence or lie. However, these “non-transparent” approaches make their crisis situation worse, not better. So, they “add” more tags like “liar” or “not responsible” to an already bad situation. It is a paradox since transparency helps, not hurts, the wrongdoers. Crisis management is not about covering up what happened; rather it’s about what you do with what happened. People pay attention how you behave after you make a mistake. Since 2008, I’ve been studying public apologies of leaders in the PhD program at KAIST (Korea Advanced Institute of Science & Technology), and recently, I published a book call Cool Apology (in Korean language) which was co-authored with my advisor, Dr. Jaeseung Jeong. While studying apologies I realized it is a language of authority and trustworthiness. Back in 2007, I met Doug Wojcieszak in St. Louis. He is the founder of Sorry Works! Coalition. They’ve been actively spreading a “disclosure” program, which applies apologies in managing medical malpractice. In the past, when there was a medical malpractice case, hospitals often took “deny and defend” approaches which usually ended up in painful lawsuits. Harvard, Stanford, the universities of Virginia and Michigan, and Johns Hopkins all took different approaches. They transparently investigated the incidents and if there were any mistakes they provide apologies to victims, or their family members, and compensated them fairly. The results? In the Michigan hospitals, where the disclosure program was introduced in 2001, claims and lawsuits numbered 262 in a single year. However, after six years the number had dropped significantly, to just 83! At the University of Illinois hospital there were 37 cases where medical doctors transparently disclosed their errors and apologized and only one patient filed a lawsuit. For a story on this click here. Apologies reduce lawsuits and even save money, but what about leadership? In 2006 Tucker et al., published a paper “apologies and transformational leadership” in the Journal of Business Ethics. They ran experiments to measure how people view their bosses’ leadership when the boss apologizes and when they don’t. They found that leaders who apologized when they made a mistake consistently got higher leadership scores. Right apologies strengthen your leadership. Now you might wonder how to best apologize. It will help you to know different languages of apologies. For further reading I recommend Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman. Let me briefly share with you the six languages:

  1. Regret – “I am sorry”
  2. Account – “I am sorry for being late”
  3. Responsibility – “It was my mistake”
  4. Repetition – “I wouldn’t do it again”
  5. Recovery – compensation or actions to recover
  6. Forgiveness – “Will you forgive me?”

You can choose different languages in different situations but try to include regret, account, and responsibility at a minimum when you want to apologize. If you have a boss and he or she makes a mistake with you what would you expect? “Ignore and deny” or “apologize and recover?” I think the answer is obvious. Apologies are the language of losers when leaders hide their mistakes, but now we live in the age of Twitter, the iPhone, and WikiLeaks. You no longer can hide your mistakes so it’s becoming critical to communicate your mistakes. Apology is becoming the language of leaders in the 21st century. Hoh Kim, CMCT

Influencers from Around the World – What Drives Liking? Different Scenes Between the US and Korea

/0 Comments/by
This month’s article is from Hoh Kim. I met Hoh in January 2008 when we went through the certification process with Dr. Cialdini. Hoh is an extremely intelligent person. That combined with the fact that he studied and worked in America for many years gives him a great perspective to compare different principles of influence between the Asian and American cultures.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
What Drives Liking?
Different Scenes Between the US and KoreaThe principle of liking teaches us an important life lesson. If someone doesn’t like me, then I’ll have a low chance to successfully persuade them even when I have a great idea or logic. Without a good relationship, there’s no good influence. We all know the importance of relationship. That’s why most of us spend time and energy to build networks and relationships in our personal and professional lives. That’s why we sometimes go to parties. We naturally know how to build relationships with others, from classmates and friends to colleagues and clients. However, sometimes, it’s not natural with others from different cultures. Different cultures might like different things. E. Y. Kim, a scholar in intercultural study, wrote the following in the book The Yin and Yang of American Culture: A Paradox, in 2001. Larry Samovar, Richard Porter, and Edwin McDaniel, quoted Kim in their book Communication between cultures: “Americans are action oriented; they are go-getters. They get going, get things done, and get ahead. In America, people gather for action – to play basketball, to dance, to go to a concert. When groups gather they play games or watch videos. Many Americans don’t have the patience to sit down and talk…Life is in constant motion.” My experience of living in the U.S. in 1990s and working for American companies (Merck and Edelman) in Korea tells a similar story. When we compare the American and Korean cultures, Americans prefer to “DO” together, while Koreans prefer to “BE” together. According to Dr. Cialdini, similarities are a driver for the principle of liking. Americans and Koreans will focus on “different similarities.” For example, graduating the same high school would probably mean more to Koreans than Americans. When Koreans build relationships, they tend to spend more energy to try to find out similarities such as same school, same hometown, or knowing the same people, etc. Of course, Americans will also be glad to know when someone at a party graduated the same high school but, to Koreans, in many cases, knowing the fact that someone graduated the same high school is not just good to know, but, immediately they felt that they have to give more favor to them compared to others (even paying for her or his alcohol or food bill). Probably, same hobby (doing) would mean more to Americans than Korean. Even the same thing, for example, drinking together, would mean different context. Standing bar or standing party is a very Western thing. See, Americans like to move even when drinking. Most Koreans would prefer drink together in a small group, three or four but definitely not more than 10, and in a room rather than in open space. That’s a Korean style party. At American parties, people will stand up and move here and there to meet new people and introduce each other. Koreans would stick to the same place such as a small room with same few people, of the three or four friends, and typically drink the same drinks together. So, what does it mean to us? With globalization we no longer work with the people from the same cultures so there’s a good chance you might go to another country and work with people from other cultures. For example, there are American executives in Korea working with Korean colleagues for the first time in their lives. You would have to build relationship with them. But, before you build relationship, think about what are the drivers of liking because they might be different. As an American executive in an American company operating in Korea, you might hold a standing party with Korean employees to build relationship with them. Possibly, you might feel that you would need to hold the parties (standing parties) more often but, in fact; you might need smaller group parties with Korean colleagues, rather than one big standing party, which will not be that helpful to build relationship with Koreans. Of course, if Koreans go to the States and work with American colleagues, they would need to learn how to mingle better in a standing party. Different culture means different context, and often, they key to understanding others is in that context. Hoh Kim

Influencers from Around the World: Are the Six Principles of Persuasion Really Universal?

/0 Comments/by

Did you know there are only two Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in Asia today? That’s right, only two, and my guest blogger this week is one of them! I had the good fortune to meet Hoh Kim in January 2008 when we trained together in Arizona under Dr. Robert Cialdini. Hoh has the distinction of being the first person to present Dr. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion (POP) workshop in Korea. Hoh is a very bright guy, having written his master thesis on intercultural communication at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI, in mid 1990s. You can find Hoh on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter in case you’d like to establish contact with him. His website is The Lab h and he also writes a blog called Cool Communications. As part of my Influencers from Around the World series Hoh graciously offered to share some of his insights on the differences between East Asians and North Americans when it comes to influence and persuasion.Are the Six Principles of Persuasion Really Universal? What about in Asia?The world has become smaller due to the globalization of business and social media such as Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. People now have more interaction than ever with people from other parts of the world. Case in point; my relationship with Brian and his other guest bloggers from around the world.As a Korean POP trainer, and a person who is interested in intercultural communication, I’ve been intrigued as I’ve observed how the six principles of influence can differ based on culture, especially between North America and East Asia. Let me share my thoughts on this.First of all, based on my experience and many case discussions with Korean POP workshop participants, I believe the six principles of persuasion really are universal. The only difference would be the “weight” of some principles in different cultures. When I trained under Dr. Cialdini and his Influence at Work (IAW) staff I remember him sharing with us his belief that the principle of social proof (a.k.a. consensus) should have more “weight” in East Asia than North America, while the principle of consistency should have more “weight” in North America than East Asia. I’ve see this to be true with both principles.Social Proof in East AsiaGenerally speaking, Koreans are more sensitive to how others think or act when they decide something than Americans are. One of the old wisdom sayings in East Asia is “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” To East Asians harmony often means being the same with others. Contrast that with North Americans who seem to be more comfortable being different and independent from others.This is related to individual vs. collectivistic cultures, and it’s reflected in many ways. For example: 1) In the US the family name is the last name, but in Korea it’s the first name. So, in Korea, I am called “Kim Hoh” but in the US I am known as “Hoh Kim.” 2) In the US when referring to an address people start from the things nearest to them – building-street-city-state-country. In Korea it is exactly the opposite because we talk about country-state-city-building.
3) When I first came to the US one of my difficulties was ordering sandwiches. In Korea when I order a tuna sandwich that’s it because everyone literally gets the same sandwich. However, in the US, to properly order a tuna sandwich I have to answer several “personalized” questions. What bread, what cheese, what vegetables, what sauce, etc. There are many choices to make a unique sandwich for a unique person.Neither way is better, they’re just different. East Asians feel more comfortable, relatively speaking, being the same as each other than North Americans do. Understanding this you begin to realize the principle of social proof will be more persuasive in East Asia than in North America.Consistency in North AmericaThis month my American thesis advisor, who has studied intercultural communication most of his life, visited Seoul with his wife. When I met with him it was the first time I’d seen him since I left graduate school at Marquette in Milwaukee 13 years ago. We had a dinner together and talked about relationship difference between Americans and Koreans.He told me, “In America, almost all relationships are contractual.” Then, he asked me, “What would be the opposite words ‘contractual relationship’ in Korea? In the US, I think we don’t have one.” I thought about that question and even discussed with my Korean friends. Guess what – to Koreans the opposite the idea of “contractual relationship” would be “humanistic relationship” because a “contractual relationship” is often interpreted “not human” in my culture.Why is that? There’s also historical difference. For example, Americans historically had to move, meet and work with all people they often consider strangers.Korea, however, is different. First, the country is small (Korea is smaller than California) and Koreans didn’t have to move or be “pioneers” like Christopher Columbus was. One fifth of Koreans have their family name as Kim. That doesn’t mean we’re all the same because there are different versions of Kim, such as Kim from the region A, Kim from the region B, etc.A contract is something you need with strangers to clarify things and ensure you’re on the same page. There’s less need for contracts with your friends and family. Historically, Koreans have lived in the same town for a long time (that’s not necessarily the case today) so didn’t need to be contractual. One more difference is that American contracts are normally more comprehensive in length and detail. This difference is actually reflected in communication styles. It is called “high vs. low-context.” North America is a low-context culture while East Asia is high context culture. That means North Americans put more focus on language codes rather than context, whereas East Asians have more emphasis on context than North Americans.Here’s a simple example; when Americans say “yes” that means “yes.” But, East Asians, when they say “yes” often don’t mean “yes” in the literal sense. You have to read East Asian’s facial expressions, gestures, and not just listen to the language. In other words, you have to read the “context” of the overall communication. Here’s another scenario; when an American thinks the room temperature is hot, he or she might ask, “Would you mind if I open the window?” In Korea you would often hear, “Oh, it’s a bit hot,” while in fact the person thinks it’s too hot. If the other person catches the context they will open the window for the other person.
In low-context cultures where most of the meanings are in the language codes, it is often “contractual,” rather than leaving it up to understanding context.

Now, you might see why consistency has more “weight” in North America. Contracts are a standard to set the consistent expectation between parties. People who are more familiar and feel more natural about contracts think consistency is more important than cultures that are not. Of course, this doesn’t mean East Asians simply ignore consistency. However, it is clear to me that Americans put more emphasis on consistency, what they’ve said or done in the past, than Koreans do. In turn, Koreans put more weight on social proof, what everyone else is doing, than Americans. The differences come from cultural differences. Culture is a value system, and values are the things that people believe are important. And different societies put different weight on different things. Because of this the principles of persuasion are influenced based on value systems of different cultures. The conclusion is this – while there could be some different “cultural weights” of some principles, I can tell you as a Korean, six principles of persuasion do work in my part of the world too. HohIf you have comments or questions I’m sure Hoh would be happy to address them for you.

 

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World

/1 Comment/by

Some of the best things about blogging for me have been meeting new people, making friends and learning about other cultures. Many of the people I’ve come to know through blogging are from all parts of the globe because people in more than 95 countries have taken time to read Influence PEOPLE! That stat blows me away!
Because the audience is becoming so diverse I’ve decided to try something new. I contacted several people in other countries who also have a deep interest in ethical influence and persuasion to see if they would write guest posts for Influence PEOPLE from time to time. They said “Yes” (see, persuasion works!) so I’d like to introduce you to four gentlemen because you’ll be reading their thoughts on influence in future posts.

Marco Germani calls Italy home. Marco reached out to me through Facebook and we quickly realized we had much in common. Besides the bond of influence, Marco has been an avid martial artist for many years. He recently wrote a book on persuasion in Italian, I Meccanismi della Persuasione, and has a blog by the same name, I Meccanismi della Persuasione.

A chemical engineer by training, about 15 years ago he became passionate about the study of personal growth. Over the years he’s channeled that passion by attending dozens of seminars and training courses around the world, learning from some of the best international coaches. An avid reader, he’s read countless books on subjects like persuasion, time management, coaching and goal setting.

He’s lived in France, Belgium, the USA and China while working as a technical manager and as export manager for several multinational companies in various industrial fields. During that part of his career he had the opportunity to take part in and manage negotiations in several international business deals. He presently works as a consultant for business internationalization, with a focus on Asian markets.

Marco has always been passionate about persuasion, negotiation and ethical sales. His personal mission is to create a high value for others by living his life with passion and total integrity. He realizes the key in this pursuit is the constant striving for self-improvement. He’s pictured above with his wife Monika. Marco is on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter if you’d like to reach out to him.
Sean Patrick resides in Ireland. Although we both enjoy good ale we didn’t meet in a pub. We met because of this blog and Facebook. After having read my blog Sean reached out to me on Facebook and we started chatting then exchanging massages because of our interest in training, particularly influence. Thanks to technology (Skype) we now video chat with some regularity.

Sean has more than 15 years experience in generating high value, high turnover strategic business. He has worked in roles ranging from inside sales, account management, new business specialist, and sales management. He’s been a business owner in six different companies in the technology sector. He’s managed multiple teams of salespeople in different geographic locations across the UK and Irish Republic. His reputation for ruffling feathers and getting business in the door quickly is legendary. In addition, he’s coached and continues to coach salespeople from all industries because he is passionate about the art of negotiation and customer service.

Sean’s interest in persuasion began in the late 1990s. He wanted to know what motivated people to buy and what factors made people hesitate to say “Yes” even if price was irrelevant. As if this isn’t enough, Sean is master practitioner in NLP. Well-read and familiar with leading persuasion authors, Sean also enjoys reading academic papers on psychological persuasion. He believes it is important to explore what we know and what we learn. He advocates putting everything into practice as often as possible while continuing to learn from those with whom we interact. You can find Sean on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

To learn more about Sean visit his training site, Sean Patrick Training, and check out his blog, Professional Persuader.

Yago de Marta hails from Spain but gets around quite a bit having conducted lectures, seminars and training sessions in Spain, Mexico, Chile, Puerto Rico, Nicaragua, Panama, Honduras, El Salvador, Bolivia and Colombia. He contacted me because of his interest in persuasion and possibly pursuing the CMCT designation. His list of current undertakings is quite impressive: Consultant and trainer in personal communication and persuasive oratory; Trainer of Directors and Spokespersons; Political Candidates trainer in Spain and Latin America; Debate coach for teams from the University of Zaragoza, Pablo Olavide, Seville, Cordoba, Diego Portales (Chile), Uniminuto (Colombia), CIDE (Mexico) and American (Puerto Rico).For 12 years Yago has being training people and candidates to speak fluently and persuasively in areas such as parliamentary debate. He’s a fiery competitor, having received major awards for his debate skills in Spain and world-wide competitions. He was a champion runner-up in 2005 and 2004 Spanish debates and runner up in 2005 and 2004 in the World Debate in Spanish.The technique Yago applies in his training is derived from his experience working with thousands of different personalities who are trying to become good speakers in complex situations. His style relies on practical learning where participants take into account their potential as they sift through weaknesses and improve strengths. The results obtained can be seen within the first hour of training because the tools used match up to the ability and style of each individual participant. In training workshops led by Yago people develop techniques to enhance their emotional intelligence, NLP, Social Psychology and Persuasive abilities, ethnomethodology, Institutional Communication Techniques Enterprise and, of course, classical rhetoric. All this requires a keen sense from Yago for detecting the skills and qualities that can be improved in each person. Yago has prepared many political and parliamentary leaders, sales teams and managers. He has explored the application techniques of debate to the teaching of bioethics, has improved the teaching skills of teachers and students, and has personally coached leaders in important positions responsible for many different projects and companies. Feel free to connect with Yago on Facebook and LinkedIn.Hoh Kim is from South Korea but we met in Arizona in January 2008. We were both there to go through Dr. Cialdini’s certification training. Hoh is one of the two dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world and he’s the first person to present the Principles of Persuasion (POP) workshop in South Korea. He is the founder & head coach of THE LAB h, where he counsels business executives and high-ranking professionals in government and medicine to positively influence their stakeholders.

With over 10 years of experience in strategic communications consulting, executive media coaching, and crisis simulation and workshop design/facilitations, Hoh is one of the most sought after consultants, coaches and speakers in the area of crisis communication management and crisis leadership. His client base ranges from local non-profit organizations to consumer electronics companies in Korea and multinational companies listed on Fortune Global 500. Find out more about Hoh at his website, THE LAB h , or by visiting his blog, Cool Communications. You can connect with Hoh on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Globalization is here to stay, even if we never move. In all likelihood it will only accelerate as the world seems to get smaller with technology. We will be interacting with people all around the planet and because cultural differences impact the persuasion process it is good for us to learn about those differences. I hope you enjoy exploring the different perspectives on influence and persuasion from this group if international experts. Look for the first guest post on April 5th and the first Monday of each month thereafter.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”