Tag Archive for: Influence PEOPLE

Have We Changed or Are We Just Politically Correct?

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I’ve never been as fascinated by the political process as I am right now. My fascination has more to do with how the process has been flipped upside down by people like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump.

In August I wrote a post on Donald Trump’s mASS Appeal where I shared some insight into why so many people might be attracted to The Donald. My basic premise was that he was more “real” than traditional political candidates. If you want to find out more about fake candidates read The Adjustment Bureau of Politics and Persuasion.

As the primary races continue, I’m amazed Trump continues to have such mass appeal. Quite frankly, his rhetoric scares many people and some have equated his rise to Hitler’s in Germany because he says things that have been labeled as bigoted, racist and intolerant. Many politicians have said more benign things and seen their careers go down the toilet but Trump is unapologetic and only seems to increase his support.

How does he do it? Trump’s support is not as big as you might think. While his support seems to be greater than any other candidate at this point consider the following:

  • Roughly half of the citizens vote Republican in presidential elections. If there were 100 possible voters that means about 50 would identify as Republican and maybe vote in the Republican primaries.
  • Good voter turnout would be about 60%, so of those 50 possible Republican voters only 30 would actually vote in the primaries.
  • Up to this point Trump has been getting about 1/3 of the Republican vote in a large field of candidates leaving the others to fight for the remaining 2/3. If one-third of 30 people voting go to Trump that means he get support from 10 people.
  • Now consider this – on the whole Trump is appealing to about 1 in 10 people. That’s not a big number but it’s enough at this point to make a big difference in the process.

Why is Trump’s message resonating? We get more and more “politically correct” but that doesn’t mean people believe in the things espoused or like them. What do I mean? Everyone has views on polarizing issues like faith, gay marriage, guns, race, immigration, terrorism, and wealth distribution to name just a few. While we all have views many people stay silent because they don’t want to go against the perceived majority.

You may or may not like what Trump says but when he speaks his mind he doesn’t care what people think. His frankness gives voice to many people who’ve felt silenced by political correctness. In other words, Trump is only saying what many people already think and feel.

In the end I think Trump’s success, whether or not it leads to the presidency, says as much about us as Americans as it does about candidate Trump. We may want to believe there’s no place for a person like Trump in American politics but obviously there is a place because we’re witnessing it.

While America is more tolerant than ever before maybe in the end Trump’s rise shows we’ve not come as far as we believed. And perhaps this is a wake up call to keep the dialogue open so we can learn and grow instead of smiling and nodding but disagreeing on the inside. As Samuel Butler wrote, “He who complies against his will is of his own opinion still.”

Influencers from Around the World – The Principle Of Liking With Real Estate Agents

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This month our “Influencers from Around the World” post comes from Marco Germani. Marco is a native of Italy and lives in Rome. A skilled practitioner of influence for decades, he even wrote a book on the subject in Italian. In this post he explains how the principle of liking can impact the sale.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.  

The Principle Of Liking With Real Estate Agents

The principle of influence popularly known as liking, as expressed by Dr. Robert Cialdini, states people are more likely to say “yes” to those they know and like and those they perceive as similar to themselves. I had a real-life test of the liking principle recently when my wife and I decided to buy a small apartment in a coastal town near Rome, our home in Italy. Our goal was to rent the apartment and generate some extra passive income.

I carefully researched the market and I got in touch with all the existing real estate agencies of the area, visiting almost 20 different properties, within the size and budget we defined, before settling on two particular apartments, the most appealing of the lot.

Next we had to make a decision – which to purchase followed by a formal written offer to the owner. Both apartments looked good, were in a nice area close to the railway station and shops, had better than average quality-price ratios, and both owners appeared to be particularly motivated to sell quickly. All things considered, for a few reasons we both liked apartment #1 slightly more than apartment #2. We were also dealing with two different real estate agents.

The agent dealing with apartment #1, whom I’ll call Mrs. Bianchi, was a middle-aged woman and owner of the real estate agency. From the beginning she didn’t appear to be very skillful or professional. When she sensed there was real interest from our side, she started to ruthlessly apply every selling technique straight out of a sales book:

  • She called me the following day telling me there was another very motivated buyer for the same apartment and we needed to hurry up with our proposal.
  • She gave me an inflated evaluation of the rent rate I could ask to the future tenant.
  • She tried to “close” us in several other ways, but without any particular skill in doing so.

We were interested in the apartment anyway, so her poor sales skills were not a problem for us. When I went to her office to negotiate her agency commission she become upset and acted surprised that I was asking for a reduction. She treated me like I had offended her. By keeping a straight face and with the technique of the “broken record,” simply asking over and over for my conditions regardless of her behavior, I was able to obtain a reasonable reduction on her requested fee and everything seemed to be right to make an offer at a price the apartment owner would have accepted.

The agent dealing with apartment #2 was a completely different story. Fabio, a salesperson working for the agency, was a skilled and trained professional and from the moment he first told me “hello” on the phone. I could clearly tell he was somebody who understood the basics of salesmanship and worked hard on his craft. From our first meeting he was focused on building a relationship with me:

  • He tried to find common ground and he told me about his passion for the Greek island of Santorini, after hearing I have been there twice on holiday and loved the place, where he even owns a small studio, advising me to consider buying one myself one day, even proposing to help for free.
  • He also told me, after noticing my interest for apartment #2, that there was another motivated buyer and I needed to hurry (a trick I guess must be on page one on the manual of the good sales agent in Italy!) but he did it in a sincere and elegant way, always positioning on my side and asking “for my help” in solving the problem when we needed to move forward in the discussion.

After some smooth negotiation, we ended up with the exact same conditions, buying price and agency fee, for the two apartments. We liked apartment #1 slightly better but we liked Fabio, the agent for apartment #2, a lot better. It was a difficult call and, to my surprise, my wife and I both felt better about moving on the apartment sold by Fabio, even though we liked apartment #1 more! We mentioned a bunch of rational justifications linked to the technical aspects of the business but we both knew it had all to do with the personality of Fabio and the principle of liking at work. This principle being so powerful to lead us to want a less appealing “product” because we liked the salesperson better!

The story does not end there. After defining a strategy with Fabio for the proposal, with a very low first offer which was meant to be turned down by the apartment owner (which he did) to then come up with our real offer, something else happened.

Fabio called us one evening telling us he had just received the mission to sell another property. Apartment #3, a real deal being sold by a “don’t-wanter” (someone with serious financial issues ongoing, who urgently needed money) was ready to sell a much better apartment than the one we decided to buy, for the same price. Everything was contingent on the money coming in fast and in cash, which was possible for us. We closed the deal quickly and everybody was happy, including Fabio, whom we decided to reward by accepting his request for a much higher fee than the one we agreed, one which still kept the deal very advantageous for us.

The moral of this story is twofold:

  1. Even though you are trained on the principles of influence and are aware of how the principle of liking could (and sometimes shouldn’t) influence your buying patterns, it will work all the same and you can find yourself buying a less appealing product sold by a salesperson you like more.
  2. For anybody involved in sales, neglecting to work on this principle, by learning to genuinely be interested in others, create empathy and build a relationship before talking about the deal, can be very expensive. In today’s economy nobody in real estate, or in any other business involving human interactions, can afford to ignore the principle of liking.

Besides, we might start investigating if any good property is available in Santorini someday, with the help of Fabio, of course!

Marco

The Right Comparison Can Make All the Difference in Persuasion

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Have you ever run five miles? That’s not easy to do if you’re not in shape. How about this — have you ever walked five miles? That’s not as hard as running but can be taxing depending on your fitness level. Do you think it would be more tiring to walk in 70, 80, or maybe 90 degree weather? Throw on top of that playing a round of golf over four hours and it would be pretty tiring for just about anyone.

In 2001, golfer Casey Martin challenged the PGA Tour rule that prohibited golfers from using a cart on the tour. His challenge arose because of a rare blood disorder that caused circulation problems in his legs. Part of the PGA contention was that walking causes fatigue and is therefore an intrinsic part of the game. Casey Marti’s legal team disagreed. From The PGA Tour, Inc. v. Martin Supreme Court case in 2001:
“The District Court credited the testimony of a professor in physiology and expert on fatigue, who calculated the calories expended in walking a golf course (about five miles) to be approximately 500 calories ‘nutritionally … less than a Big Mac.’”

Walking the golf course burns fewer calories than a Big Mac? All of a sudden it doesn’t seem like such a monumental activity. Think about this for a moment; if Casey Martin’s legal team had simply cited 500 calories, the point would not have been as impacting. I’m sure everyone on the court could visualize a Big Mac. Martin eventually won the case.

Sometimes the right comparison can make all the difference when it comes to persuasion. Just using numbers doesn’t always work because they don’t always register for many people. Here are two more great examples of effective comparison points that led to change.

In Chip and Dan Heath’s best selling book Made to Stick, a story is shared about how unhealthy a medium-sized buttered popcorn was in the mid ‘90s. Trying to persuade movie theaters to change was going nowhere despite the fact that the popcorn had 37 grams of unsaturated fat. It didn’t register just how unhealthy that was until it was eventually pointed out how buttered popcorn compared to other foods. Did you know you’d get that much unsaturated fat (37 grams) if you ate bacon and eggs for breakfast, a Big Mac with large fries and Coke for lunch, and then had a steak and loaded potato for dinner…all in the same day! None of those meals is healthy but eating all three the same day with any consistency would eventually lead to obesity. That’s how much fat those who ate the medium-sized buttered popcorn were getting in the mid-90s. Thankfully theaters eventually changed their ways.

McDonald’s coffee case is noted in WilliamPoundstone’s book Priceless. You may recall an elderly woman severely burned herself when she spilled a piping hot cup of McDonald’s coffee on her lap. It led to an eight-day hospital stay for the 79 year-old woman. She won a $2.86 million dollar settlement. While that may seem outrageous, it only came after McDonald’s refused to settle for $20,000. Her lawyer took it to trial and didn’t ask for nearly $3 million. Instead he asked for one or two days of McDonald’s revenue from the sale of coffee. That doesn’t sound so bad except revenue was $1.35 million per day!

One last example came from the late Steve Jobs. He introduced the first iPod, which he pulled out from the front pocket of his jeans, saying, “A thousand songs in you pocket.” Wow, that amounted to more songs than most people had in their entire CD collections!  I doubt Jobs would have been nearly as effective if he’d have said, “10 gigabytes in your pocket.” Even techies wouldn’t be as moved by that as they were when he announced 1,000 songs.

Next time you’re going to attempt to persuade someone, or a group of people, think about the comparisons you would normally make. Then take a moment to consider other possible comparisons that are naturally available. It could be calories versus real food, money or objects money can buy, or songs versus gigabytes. Put the comparison in terms most people can grasp and you’ll have a much better chance for persuasion success.

Why is Scarcity such a Motivator?

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We’ve just come through the holiday season and retail sales were up about 8% from a year ago according to MasterCard. It’s probably not a stretch for me to assume that all of you reading this took part in holiday shopping if for no other reason than to take advantage of the great sales that were so prevalent.

There is something about a sale that grabs our attention and there are two primary reasons we love to take advantage of the opportunities retailers present. Contrary to what you might think, it’s more than just saving a little cash.

First, we hate the thought of losing. That’s the principle of scarcity at work on us. We’ve become so conditioned by sales that we know when we don’t buy something on sale we’ve most likely overpaid; i.e., lost money. Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman’s research shows people feel the pain of loss more than they do the joy of gain. In fact, most people experience the pain of loss anywhere from 2.0-2.5 times more than the joy of gaining the same thing. In other words, as much as we like saving $100 we hate the thought of losing $100 much more. Again, not taking advantage of a sale equates to losing.

However, as much as we like a sale we do know there are plenty throughout the year so what’s a retailer to do to get us to take action immediately? When you throw in some kind of limit our desire for the sale item is greatly heightened. Think about it; if there were not a time limit (“Sale ends Sunday”) or limited supplies (“While supplies last”) we wouldn’t be as quick to take advantage of the bargains. After all, it’s also quite natural for many people to procrastinate.

But why is scarcity such a motivator?
According to Robert Cialdini’s best selling book Influence Science and Practice, it has to do with how we’re wired, i.e., our evolution as a species.

“One prominent theory accounts for the primacy of loss over gain in evolutionary terms. If one has enough to survive, an increase in resources will be helpful but a decrease in those same resources could be fatal. Consequently, it would be adaptive to be especially sensitive to the possibility of loss.” (Haselton & Nettle, 2006)

While some things may be changing rapidly (human knowledge is doubling every 12 months), human beings evolve slowly, very slowly. Most people probably don’t live in life and death situations like humans did thousands of years ago but our brain wiring is essentially the same. So that wiring that was designed to help us survive still exists today, only it’s tapped into in many ways that are not related to survival.

How does this impact you? In two primary ways:

If you’re a consumer make sure you don’t reflexively act on things. While the sale may look too good to pass up do you really think it’s the best sale there has ever been? Do you think it will never come back around again? The answer is most likely no in both cases. So take your time on major purchases and don’t be so quick to jump just because you see something is 30% or 40% off. It’s very likely there will be President’s Day, Memorial Weekend, Fourth of July, and Labor Day sales that are every bit as good if you can be patient.

When you’re a persuader look for legitimate scarcity in your product, service or offer. There may not be one thing that is totally unique but perhaps there is some combination of features or benefits that can’t be gotten elsewhere. Tout the combination to alert people to the uniqueness. And if there happens to be a limit on time or quantity make sure you mention it because it will increase the odds that someone will say yes to you.

In order to be a master when it comes to persuasion always look for the principles of influence that are naturally available. Then use those principles of honesty highlight what you’re talking about. Doing so will significantly increase your odds of getting to yes.

Goals Gone Wrong

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I’m a goal setter. It seems as if most people who succeed in life are goal setters too. After all, without a goal how will you know when you’ve achieved success? Goals give us something to shoot for, keep us on track and allow us to measure progress. All in all, goal setting is a very good thing…most of the time.

There’s the old adage, “What gets measured gets done,” and sometimes we come to realize our measurements got us focused on the wrong activities. Here are a few examples.

About 25 years ago, around the time I started with State Auto, I was a commercial lines underwriter. At the time, a point system was put in place to measure our work. A full day of work was 60 points and various tasks (new business, renewals, changes, etc.) were given specific point totals. People quickly learned how to maximize their points while minimizing their effort. It wasn’t uncommon for someone to announce before lunch that they’d hit their 60 points. That could be accomplished more easily by tackling simple policy changes rather than dealing with new business even though the new business was more important. In other words, we were not incenting the right behaviors for the outcome we wanted.

A personal example comes from me. I used to run marathons and was very competitive with myself. My goal was to qualify for the Boston Marathon, which I was able to do. To reach this goal, I would lay out a 24-week training plan with specific runs every day. Sometimes I became a slave to the plan. If a day called for an eight-mile run at a particular pace I was intent on getting eight miles at that pace come hell or high water. The only problem is sometimes my body was telling me to slow down, cut the miles or rest altogether. Not listening to my body usually resulted in injuries that only served to make reaching the ultimate Boston Marathon goal harder.

So what can you do so your goals don’t go wrong?

  • First, remember why. Constantly recall why you set the goal. This is why plans and strategies have been put in place. Success isn’t following the plan to the letter, it’s reaching the goal.
  • Second, be flexible. Don’t become a slave to the plan because sometimes flexibility can lead to better results over the long haul. (Remember my body telling me to rest.)
  • Third, don’t be afraid of change. If you see the plan is starting to distort the goal or it isn’t keeping you on pace to reach your goal don’t be afraid to change it or scrap it altogether.

Goal setting is good when it’s done right. If you read my post a few weeks ago on how to PAVE the Way to Success, then you know the principle of consistency comes into play when you set a goal and share it with others. As you set your 2016 goals, make sure they are Public, Active, Voluntary and Effortful.

What You Can Expect from Influence PEOPLE in 2016

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Welcome to the New Year! I hope 2016 is your best year yet and that each coming year only gets better and better.

My goal is to help you grow professionally and personally so you can enjoy more success and happiness. My expertise is in communications – specifically influence and persuasion. I firmly believe if you understand how people think and behave (why they do what they do) and you’re willing to change how you communicate with them, you can achieve more success and happiness.

How can I help you? There are numerous ways:

This blog – Every Monday at 5:30 p.m. Eastern Time, a new blog post goes online. Posts revolve around the principles of influence and how they are applied in sales, leadership, business, politics, society, parenting as well as other areas.

Videos – My YouTube site has lots of videos that explore different aspects of influence. I hope to post more new videos in 2016.

Social Media – I regularly update Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google+ with tips, posts and other information I come across that can help you.

Website – By the end of the first quarter I will have a new Influence PEOPLE website.

Drip marketing – This year I will share updates from Influence PEOPLE every Monday through Friday. Updates will go out at 11 a.m. and 11 p.m. to accommodate as many people as possible from around the world. Here is what you can expect:

  • Monday – An influence tip along with a graphic
  • Tuesday – Blog update on the latest post
  • Wednesday – A video or interview that highlights influence
  • Thursday – Another blog update on the latest post just in case you missed it earlier in the week
  • Friday – Another influence tip with a graphic

I encourage you to reach out to connect with me on social media:
Facebook, Facebook Fan Page, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+, YouTube

I’d also like to hear from you.

  • What articles or information would you like to see?
  • How have these posts helped you?
  • What are your influence challenges?

Last but not least, if your organization is looking for a keynote speaker, training, coaching or consulting when it comes to the application of the psychology of persuasion, please contact me.

Best of luck in 2016. I hope the year is off to a great start for you so far.

Influencers from Around the World – The Impact of Liking on Voting and Other Relationships

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This month our Influencers from Around the World guest post comes from Debbie Hixson, a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT®). She is a Senior Organization Development Consultant from Kaiser Permanente and a National Board Certified Counselor. You can read more about her here. I know you’ll enjoy what Debbie has to share.

The Impact of Liking on Voting and Other Relationships

How will you decide whom to support in this presidential election? Will your candidate share your views about the problems in this country and how to solve them? Do they share your values and beliefs? Do they have a similar background or have you shared similar experiences growing up and making your way in the world?

Some of us are very clear about who will we vote for and why. An article in my local newspaper interviewed several people and for them the answer is simple; their candidate shares their beliefs about what is important and what needs to be done to get our country back on track.  They aren’t from the same background, but they do share a common philosophy about life. Guided by their perceptions about the person they support, whom they will vote for in the general election is very clear.

What makes us gravitate towards some people and not others? Why do we form relationships so easily with some people and not others?  Why do we collaborate and cooperate with some people effortlessly, while with others it is a challenge? How can we be influential and persuasive with some groups or individuals and less so with others?

The answer is not complicated. It is based on a principle Dr. Robert Cialdini calls “Liking.” He says that we like people who are like us. Based on liking them, we will be more open to their requests to cooperate with them. Let’s be clear, liking is based on our perception of what we share in common with others that predisposes us to like them. Dr. Cialdini also says that we tend to like people who compliment us – that is they tell us what they like about us, which makes us like them even more.  We also like people who cooperate with us.

So how do you get people to like you? Norman Vincent Peale says that getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them. Think about someone you want to work with more closely. What do you know about them?  Do you share common interests? Did you attend the same school? Do you share a passion for the same sports team or the same hobbies?  You can foster liking based on the similarity principle if you claim to have a similar background and interests as the person.

The principle can be applied in all types of situations, at home and at work. Liking can be applied to family, friends, colleagues and customers. In my own practice as a coach and trainer, I need my clients to cooperate with me. I begin my relationships with clients by finding out a bit about them and then make a connection to own my interests and background to establish liking. I often find that I have many things in common with the people I meet. Establishing commonalities makes us all feel more relaxed and grounded particularly in new situations. Once I establish a connection, it is important for my work to like the other person. When I like someone, I tell them so. After all, if we like to cooperate with people who like us, letting them know helps facilitate your partnership.

Cooperating with others will also help establish liking. When we share goals in common, we develop a fondness for “our partners” who are helping us achieve a goal, deal with problems, make a decision, etc.  So whom can you cooperate with? When you have something to ask of them, they will be more likely to say yes, because you cooperated with them.

Dr. Cialdini advises us to like our colleagues, customers or clients. When they see that you like them, they feel safe. They’ll have a good reason to feel safe because you will make sure that the people you like are treated well. You’ll make sure that they’re protected and their interests are served. This is really turning that rule on its ear where clients are saying, “The best place for me to purchase a product is not in the hands of someone I like who’s an expert, it’s in the hands of someone who likes me and is an expert.”

Think about ways you can increase liking by identifying commonalities you have with people you work with – or would like to work with – and make sure they know. And, when you like them make sure to share that as well.

Debbie Hixson,
M.A., M.Ed, CMCT

PAVE the Way to Success in the New Year

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If you’re like many people then you’ll be making New Year’s resolutions in a few days and if you’re like most people you’ll break your resolutions within a few days. According to one study, more than half the people who make resolutions are confident of achieving them, yet barely more than 10% do so. That’s amazing because most resolutions are good!

Here are a some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions:

  • Spend more time with family
  • Lose weight
  • Begin exercising
  • Quit smoking
  • Quit drinking
  • Get organized
  • Get out of debt

The list is admirable so why are these goals so difficult to achieve for 9 out of 10 people? There are probably as many reasons as there are resolutions and dwelling on those reasons would not be as beneficial as giving you scientifically proven ideas that can help make 2016 a year of positive change for you. Around this time every year I share an influence technique that can help readers PAVE the way to success in the New Year.

In the study of persuasion there’s a powerful motivator of behavior known as the principle of consistency. This proven rule tells us people feel internal and external psychological pressure to act in ways that are consistent with their prior actions, words, deeds, beliefs and values. When we act in consistent ways we feel better about ourselves and other people perceive us in a more favorable light.

There are four simple things you can tap into in order to strengthen the power of consistency in your life. These simple ideas will help you PAVE the way to success because they’ll dramatically increase the odds that you’ll follow through on your New Year’s resolutions.

Public – Whenever you make a public statement, whether verbally or in writing, you’re putting yourself and your reputation on the line. The mere fact that another person knows your intention and might ask you how you’re doing is often enough motivation for you to follow through.

Recommendation #1 – Share your New Year’s resolution with another person, or group of people, and ask them to hold you accountable.

Active – You have to actively do something. Merely thinking about a resolution, just keeping it to yourself as some sort of secret, will lead to the same results as people who don’t make any resolutions. In other words, nothing will change. This came to light in a study with a group of students who wanted to improve their college grades. One group was asked to write their goals down, one group kept their goals in their heads, and the last group had no specific goal whatsoever. As you can imagine, the group with the written goals succeeded, with nearly 90% of students increasing their grades by a full letter grade! With the other two groups the results were identical and poor. In each group fewer than 1 in 6 students improved a full letter grade. It’s worth noting, they were all given the same study materials so they all had the same opportunity to better their GPA.

Recommendation #2 – Make sure you have to take some active steps. It could be as simple as buying a book to help you learn more about the changes you’re hoping to make or writing them down.

Voluntary – This has to be YOUR goal, not someone else’s goal for you. If you’re trying to do something – quit smoking, lose weight, get in shape – it’s not likely your motivation will last if someone told you that you have to do it. The goal has to come from you because if it’s forced on you it’s not likely your willpower will last long. Samuel Butler said it best when he wrote, “He who complies against his will is of the same opinion still.”

Recommendation #3 – Make sure it’s something you really want to do of your own free choice.

Effort – It was already noted that you have to actively do something. In other words, making the commitment should require some effort on your part. The more effort you expend setting up your goal, the more likely you are to succeed. Something as simple as writing down your resolution can make a difference, even if you don’t share it with anyone. But, taking the time to share it also fulfills the public requirement, which gives you more bang for the buck! Robert Cialdini puts it this way, “People live up to what they write down.”

Recommendation #4 – A little more effort, like committing pen to paper, will increase your chance for success significantly.

So to recap the four recommendations:

  • Public – Share your resolutions with others.
  • Active – Make sure to take some active steps.
  • Voluntary – Make it your goal and own it.
  • Effort – Commit pen to paper.

None of what I just shared is new but I’m guessing many of you haven’t tried to PAVE the way to success before. If you’ve failed at your resolutions in the past then give this approach a try. If you fail again you’re no worse off but this different approach might just be your key to success in 2016. Good luck and Happy New Year’s!

What Reciprocity Is and What It Is Not

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We’re knee deep in the holiday season, the traditional time of gift giving in many parts of the world. There is also quite a bit of reciprocation that happens during this season. I write that because quite often we give gifts to other people because we know they will be giving us a gift. God forbid we aren’t ready to exchange gifts because most people feel awkward when they receive a gift but don’t have something to give in return. To avoid that feeling have you ever run out to buy a gift or holiday card from someone and quickly stuck it in the mail because they gave you a card or gift first? That’s reciprocity working its magic on you.

The principle of influence known as reciprocity defines human behavior that’s been around as long as mankind: we feel obligated to give back to those who first give to us. We’ve been conditioned to give in return because over the course of evolution we learned we are all better off when we help those who’ve helped us first

I’m sure every person reading this understands the principle of reciprocity and my definition only serves to make them think, “I already know that.” What most people don’t really understand is how to engage the principle because all too often I read articles and blog posts from marketers, sales trainers, and others who like to cite Robert Cialdini’s work…but do so incorrectly!

I recently read a blog post on getting consumers to say yes using reciprocity and two examples were used:

“But 4 get 1 free”

“Free gift/shipping when purchase for $60 or more”

Neither example is an application of the principle of reciprocity. Do you know why?

As noted earlier, reciprocity is engaged when you’ve given to someone or done something for another person first.

That feeling of indebtedness makes the other person want to “return the favor” so to speak. Neither example used in the article I cited above did anything for the consumer or gave them anything in advance. In each case what they were actually offering was a reward. Rewards are predicated on an, “If you…, I will…” basis. Both of the above examples were actually rewards that could read:

“If you buy four you’ll get one more for free.”

“If you buy $60 or more in goods your shipping will be free.”

Think about it for a moment. You can’t get “one more for free” or “free shipping” unless you do something first.

Make no mistake about it; rewards motivate behavior. There are decades of studies to back that up and it’s a fact that rewards are more effective than the threat of punishment.

The word “free” is a big motivator too. Dan Ariely brilliantly points that out in a chapter from Predictably Irrational called “The Cost of Zero Cost: We Often Pay Too Much When We Pay Nothing.” All too often we’ll go out of our way to get something free. For example, have you ever purchased extra items on Amazon so you’d spend enough to get free shipping? People spend a lot more money to get “free” stuff!

Rewards change behavior but some studies show you can engage people with reciprocity by giving a much smaller gift in lieu of a large reward and get a better result. In workshops I often share a study in which owners of a construction company were either offered a $50 reward for completing a survey or given a $5 check up front in consideration of their time. Only 23% who were offered the $50 reward completed the survey but 52% who received the $5 check up front did so. And the savings was anywhere from 57% to 77% depending on how many ultimately cashed the $5 check.

As a business owner, if you knew you could more than double your response rate and save 50%, 60%, 70% or more by going the reciprocity option instead of the traditional reward route, wouldn’t you choose the reciprocity option? Of course you would…and now you will going forward.

I don’t point this out to be nit picky or combative. Rather, I point this out because when I teach people about persuasion I tell them, “If you use the principles ethically and correctly you will get more people saying yes to you.” If people think they’re using principles correctly but they’re not, then they won’t see the results they hoped for. That leads to people thinking, “It sounds good when Brian says it, or when Dr. Cialdini writes about it, but it doesn’t’ work in the real world.” It does work but only if you do it the right way.

Here’s my final thought – if you want to engage people in a low cost, easy to implement, sure fire way to motivate the behavior you want, save yourself time and money by going the reciprocity route in lieu of using traditional rewards.

Does Branding Really Influence Behavior?

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I think you’d agree that we live in an information-overloaded society. What you may not be aware of is the extent of the overload.

William C. Taylor wrote an article – “Permission Marketing” – for the magazine Fast Company and told readers, “This year, the average consumer will see or hear one million marketing messages – that’s almost 3,000 per day.” When I share that quote with audiences they’re astounded. When I tell them the quote is now 17 years old they’re blown away! That’s right, the estimate in 1998 was that you were bombarded with about 3,000 marketing messages each day. More recently a New York Times article – “Anywhere the Eye Can See, It’s Likely to See an Ad” – put the number at 5,000 a day!

With so much information assaulting our senses each day it begs the question, does branding really influence behavior? You might be surprised that it does in a big way.

I recently read Brainfluence: 100 Ways to Persuade and Convince Consumers with Neuromarketing by Roger Dooley and was particularly interested in the brain science on the age old Coke versus Pepsi debate. Many times over, in blind taste tests people preferred Pepsi…even Coke drinkers quite often preferred Pepsi. However, when people knew which brand they were drinking that changed. Dooley wrote:

“When the subjects saw which brand they were drinking, though, nearly all of the subjects said they preferred Coke. Significantly, the subjects’ brain activity changed as well.”

Did you catch that last sentence? They didn’t just say they preferred Coke, their brains actually preferred it! What we think about brands actually changes how we experience the product or service! Here are a few examples of incredibly strong brands:

  • Southwest Airlines – Despite the “cattle call” for seating, people love to be “free to roam about the country.” Passengers’ passion has resulted in 42 consecutive years of
profitability for Southwest in an industry that’s struggled mightily to achieve profits.
  • Apple – Apple consumers are religious in their zeal for the brand making it the most profitable company in the world in 2014. Other phones may have better features at times but it’s nearly impossible to get Apple lovers to make a switch.
  • Harley Davidson – If people are willing to tattoo your company logo on their body you know you have a good thing going! I remember hearing someone say, “I can accept the fact that someday I might die and my wife may remarry. What I can’t accept is another man riding my Harley.”
  • Starbucks – The coffee giant transformed coffee drinking and doesn’t even advertise. That’s because their customers do it for them. The familiar Starbucks logo on the cup is all they need to spread the word and you probably see it more than you realize each day.

Of course very few brands have the cache of Coke, Southwest, Apple, Harley Davidson, Starbucks or many other successful brands. But, the science shows that a strong brand impacts people’s brain activity resulting in behavior changes even when people are not aware of it.

So what does this mean for you? You’re probably not competing on the scale of the aforementioned companies but what current and potential customers think of you and your company matters.

Each of us can brand ourselves to a great degree. Here are several ideas based on some things I do.

If you call my office you’ll hear this at the start of my voicemail message – “Wouldn’t you agree that much of your professional success and personal happiness depends on getting others to say ‘yes’ to you? Ask me about The Principles of Persuasion Workshop where you’ll learn to hear ‘yes’ more often.” People ask about the workshop and I’ve had compliments on my voicemail.

My email autosignature always has my branding message at the bottom – Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes.” Again, it’s not uncommon to get a comment but what’s more important is people see the message and even if it doesn’t consciously register it impacts their brain.

I wear shirts with the Influence PEOPLE logo prominently displayed. When people ask about it I have a platform to share what I do. Nobody can sell me better than me and nobody can sell you better than you.

Does it work? Absolutely! Before starting Influence PEOPLE my personal brand was – When it needs to be done well. That was on my email and voicemail and I regularly had people say, or write, “I need something done well so I thought I’d contact you.” When someone repeats your branding slogan back to you it’s working! I’ll never forget the first time I met Gerald Ladner, a State Auto regional vice president at the time. His first words to me as he shook my hand and let out a laugh were, “I have to meet the guy who advertises he’ll do it well!”

Make no mistake; a catchy slogan won’t make up for a poor product or service. However, when the differences between you and a competitor are seemingly small, when people don’t always know why they do what they do, a well-crafted, consistent brand can be the difference in choosing you over the competitor. I encourage you to give it serious thought because as we approach the New Year, there’s no better time to make a change than now.