Tag Archive for: psychology of persuasion

Free is Great Except When We Don’t Want What’s Being Offered

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Normally people go nuts for free stuff. It
seems like ads touting “Buy one get one free,” or “25% more for free” cause
shoppers to almost salivate. I bet you’ve been places where things were being
given away for free and you found yourself taking items (pens, card holders,
travel mugs, post it notes, etc.) that ended up in the trashcan within weeks of
getting home. And still, we take the goods because they’re free. After all, you
can’t loose by taking advantage of free…or can you?
Have you ever ordered something on Amazon for
less than $25 then found yourself ordering another book or item just to bump
you over the threshold in order to take advantage of the free shipping? I bet
you have and you probably ended up spending $33-$38 in total. Sure, you
convinced yourself you needed that extra book or CD but in reality you would
not have purchased it were it not for the enticement of the free shipping.
Dan Ariely highlights our obsession with “free”
things in his book Predictably Irrational
in a chapter he calls “The Cost of Zero Cost: Why We Often Pay Too Much When We
Pay Nothing.” He convincingly shows readers sometimes they end up worse off
because of free.
The obsession with free has its limits and
this came to light recently with Apple’s promotion with the Irish rock band U2.
It seemed innocent enough, and generous of Apple and U2, to have the band’s
latest album, Songs of Innocence,
automatically added to the iTunes library of some 500 million people.
Unfortunately for both, many subscribers didn’t appreciate the free album and
voiced their opinion rather loudly on social media. In fact, there was an
article titled Free U2 album: How the most
generous giveaway in music history turned PR disaster. Ouch!
I think what was missed by Apple and U2 in
their well-intentioned giveaway was this – free isn’t really free if it’s not
freely chosen. While there may have been no purchase cost for the album, people
lost their freedom to choose whether or not they wanted to add it to their
libraries. In other words, forced isn’t free no matter how good the intention.
What should they have done instead? In my
opinion offering the album for free for a limited time would have enticed many
people to take advantage of the giveaway. Think about it; U2 is an iconic band
that’s done a lot of good for people across the globe through charitable work
that could only have come about because of their fans. They could have
positioned the opportunity for the free album as their way of saying thanks. I’m
sure each band member is probably set for life financially so they don’t need
the money and could have really made a splash.
By putting a timeframe on it they would have
engaged the principle scarcity, which would have caused many people to want the album even
more and act quickly. This is important because when things are free and
abundant we usually don’t value them nearly as much as when they are restricted
in some way. Think about air and water. Without air we die within minutes and
without water we won’t survive for very long either. There may not be two
things more necessary for life and yet they are an afterthought for most
people…until they’re in short supply. When that happens we’d pay more for
either than just about anything else in the world because our lives might be at
stake.
I don’t think Apple or U2 deserved the intense
backlash they got but let it be a lesson to all of us – no matter how beloved
we, our company, our products/services, may be, never infringe on people’s
freedom to choose. Understanding that and correctly positioning a gift could
make all the difference in how it’s received and how we’re perceived.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Customer Service Done Wrong, Then Right

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As amazing as it is to me and to my wife,
Jane, our little girl Abigail started college this year. In preparation for the
big event we did what many parents do – we took her out to buy a new laptop.
Despite my love for Apple products Abigail didn’t want a MacBook so we headed
to Best Buy in search of the right machine for her.
With the help of a friend of Abigail’s who
worked at Best Buy, we found the right laptop and the whole buying experience
was a good one. Unfortunately things changed just over a month later.
One night I asked Abigail how her laptop was
working she said it was slow and ads kept popping up. I ran the antivirus
software and it seemed to do the job except after rebooting, the laptop froze.
Despite all of my attempts and research online I could not get the laptop
working again so we decided to head back to Best Buy the next day to see if
they could help.
The same young man who sold us the machine was
working so I explained the issue. He tried several times to reboot the laptop
but to no avail. He said we probably needed a new laptop but he’d have to talk
to his manager first.
He came back and said because we were out for
the 30-day warranty period (it was 42 days) the manager was willing to give us
a new laptop if we would buy the one-year Geek Squad protection package. I had
declined that option when we bought the original laptop because generally warranties
like that never get used and are extremely overpriced.
The offered bothered me for several reasons.
First, it was the most expensive laptop in the store so 30-day warranty or not,
it shouldn’t stop working after just 40 days. Second, and more importantly, was
the fact that I’ve shopped at that particular Best Buy for more than a dozen
years buying televisions, PCs, laptops and other electronic items. With that in
mind here was my reply:
“So what you’re telling me is I have to pay
$200 for the new laptop. Tell your manager I’m willing to do it but here’s the
deal; I’ll never shop here again. Let him know I’ve bought several televisions,
PCs, laptops and other things over the years but I will never buy another thing
from Best Buy again. So if that’s acceptable then we have a deal.”
In case you didn’t realize it, I was using the
principle
of scarcity by letting them know what they stood to lose if they didn’t
remove the $200 Geek Squad stipulation. I wanted them to think about the
lifetime value of a customer like me.
Soon after I met the manager and he said he’d
looked at my purchase history and saw I’d bought televisions, PCs and much more
at the store. He said I was a platinum customer and they usually extend
warranties to 45 days for customers like me. It was BS.
I don’t blame the salesperson because they
have rules that define what they can and cannot do in certain situations. I do
think stores should empower front line salespeople for just such situations and
provide training so they’re confident those employees are making good decisions
for the customer and store.
In this case I think the manager did a poor
job because he ended up giving me some better antivirus software, which was a $50
value. Think about this for a moment; in then end the store paid me $50 to get
the new laptop and I still wasn’t happy. If they’d have handled the situation
differently they could have made it a very pleasant experience and had me
singing their praises. Here’s what they should have done:
First, review my purchase history. Once they
saw my history they should have assumed I would probably continue buying more
items because my disposable income is increasing as I get older.
Next, the manager should have said, “Mr.
Ahearn, I see you’ve shopped with us for more than a dozen years and purchased
several televisions, PCs and other electronic items. Normally we’re pretty firm
about the 30-day warranty but because of your loyalty we’re happy to make an exception
for you in this case.”
Last, to seal the deal he could have delighted
me in an unexpected way. “Mr. Ahearn, I’d like to do something extra for you so
there’s no chance of you experiencing this issue again. I’m going to give you a
year of antivirus protection, a $50 value, for free. How does that sound?”
Had he done what I suggested, he’d have used
several principles of influence and made me happy about the whole experience.
Doing something for me that’s not normally done for every customer – extending
the warranty to 45 days – would have been an application of scarcity which
would have made me value the deal even more. Throwing in the antivirus software
would have engaged reciprocity,
making me want to shop there more. Reciprocity would have been strengthened
because giving me the antivirus software was meaningful ($50 value), customized
(specific to the issue we ran into) and unexpected (we’d have been happy with
just getting a new laptop).
If you’re in sales here are a few takeaways.
  • Research your customer’s buying history before
    making any offers.
  • Consider the lifetime value of a customer.
  • When you’re making an exception, let the
    customer know it so they feel like they’re getting special treatment.
  • If you want to sweeten the deal, do so in a
    way that highlights why your extra step is good for the customer.
  • Lastly, consider the most effective ways to
    use the principles of influence when interacting with customers.

 

Follow these simple steps and you’ll delight
customers rather than make them feel they have to battle with you in order to
get you to do the right thing.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Win or Lose, You Can Do Better!

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A few months ago I had the pleasure of
addressing nearly three dozen lawyers. I know some of you are thinking “pleasure”
and “lawyers” don’t always go hand in hand. However, in this case it really was
a pleasure because the topic was a one-hour overview of influence for legal
professionals. It was my first time talking with attorneys and it was much
different, and a bit more challenging, than working with supervisors, managers
and salespeople.
A bit of irony is one description used to
define the principles of influence. They’re often referred to as proven rules
or laws governing human behavior. Personally I shy away from calling them laws (even
though I was talking to lawyers) because when I think about laws, such as the
law of gravity, they describe phenomenon that will happen each and every time
unless an outside force intercedes in some way.
The principles of influence will not get a yes
response each and every time, even in the sterile environment of a campus
laboratory. It becomes more problematic in the real world because of the myriad
of outside forces. With that in mind, when I talk with audiences I generally
tell them the principles are proven rules for human behavior. I emphasize if
they’re used ethically and correctly they will lead to yes responses more
often. I’m confident of that because more than six decades of research from
social psychologists and behavioral economists proves this. We could call the
principles “brain rules” because they describe how people typically think and behave
in different situations.
As noted above, the attorney crowd was challenging.
They asked very pointed questions about using liking with juries, admitting
weakness in a case, looking for common ground with opposing attorneys and even how
the principles work when raising kids.
At one point during my talk I described the principle of scarcity – we value things
more when they’re rare or diminishing. Then I segued into a concept known as “loss
aversion.” Loss aversion labels the truth that people hate to lose and when we
think we’re going to lose we take steps to avoid that. If you’re a football fan
think about the “prevent defense.” When a team gets up on the opposing team and
time is winding down quite often the team in the lead changes what they’re
doing because the thought isn’t about winning as much as it is about not
losing. All too often the team playing from behind throws caution to the wind,
gambles and ends up winning. It’s quite frustrating for the fans of the team
that used the prevent defense and that’s why so many joke about how it prevents
your team from winning!
Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky studied loss
aversion and came to the conclusion that most people feel the pain of loss
anywhere from 2.0-2.5 times more than the joy of gaining the very same thing.
This is probably why the sting of a loss in a big game stays with us so much
longer than the joy we feel when our team wins the big game.
After my presentation a few attorneys came up
to talk with me and one of them shared something profound. He said he rarely
thinks back on cases he won but he dwells on the ones he loses. Could it be
that’s why we learn so much in defeat as opposed to victory?
I often tell salespeople whether you win the
sale or lose it you should learn from the experience. If you win, what did you
do that you can replicate into future success? When you lose, analyze what you
could have done better then look for ways to change going forward.
Victory is usually celebrated with little
reflection and losses are replayed over and over in our minds. It’s just how
we’re wired. But, the best athletes work on doing things right and commit as
much of their game to “muscle memory” as possible. They become so conditioned through
practice that they barely have to think in order to execute properly during
their chosen sport.
We can learn from the elite athletes. Next
time you win – whether in business, sports, or life in general – discipline
yourself to take time to figure out why and look for ways to build on that. The
more you repeat winning behaviors the more like you are to repeat as a winner.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Bribes, Rewards or Gifts – Which is Best?

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One Saturday morning, after a run and workout, I looked forward to a bagel and an egg over easy for breakfast. As I settled in with my meal and flipped through the news channels, something on the news caught my eye. It was a story on parenting.

One mom talked about “bribing” her kids. She told her teenage daughter she’d take her to Disney World if she got all As on her next report card. Another parent said no way would he bribe his kids to do chores or get good grades. The last parent said she uses both techniques at different times.

Obviously, none of the parents understood much about what social psychology has to say about influencing behavior. The rewards the parents were offering (there were more examples than just Disney World) work to some degree. That’s why so many businesses use rewards to motivate behavior. However, studies show quite often that engaging the principle of reciprocity can be more effective and cost a lot less.

One study I share during my workshops has to do with a health insurance company wanting to see if they could get a better response from owners of construction companies on their health questionnaire. With one group of business owners they offered a $50 reward for completing the questionnaire. With the rest of the business owners they sent a $5 check acknowledging their time was valuable and they appreciated them taking time to complete the questionnaire.

And what were the results? You’d think the $50 offer being 10 times more would definitely get a better response but it didn’t. Only 23% of those offered the big reward filled out the questionnaire but 52% who were given the $5 gift up front complied with the request. So, the response was more than twice as much in the gift scenario and there was a huge savings depending on exactly how many people cashed the $5 check. If every person, including those who didn’t fill out the questionnaire, cashed the check, the savings would be 57%. If only those who completed the questionnaire cashed the check the health company would have saved 77%! No matter how you look at it, more than doubling the response at a substantial savings is the smart business decision.

Sometimes giving something small up front engages reciprocity and the other person feels it’s only right to repay the favor. Here’s a personal example with my daughter, Abigail. When she was about 15 she was a typical teenage girl. She didn’t want to do things that were physically hard and would make her sweat … like cutting the grass. I was going to be traveling and knew I’d need her help with the lawn while I was away. I also knew if I tried to negotiate I’d lose. Had I said, “Abigail, I’ll give you a $10 a week raise in your allowance if you’ll cut the grass when I need it,” she would have said, “No thanks dad, I don’t like money that much.” Then I would have either had to significantly increase my offer or pull the parent card and force her to cut the grass. Neither approach would have been good because she would resent me or make me a lot poorer.

What I did instead was give her the $10 raise without asking for anything in return. When she asked why I was giving her the raise I told her reasons I believe she’d legitimately earned it. About a week later I was going on a trip and asked if she would cut the grass. Initially she hesitated and gave me a look but before we got any further I said, “Come on Abigail, I gave you a raise in your allowance and didn’t ask for anything. Can’t you help me out?” She said she’d cut the grass and has ever since – without arguing – whenever I’ve needed her help. And here’s the best part – for Christmas last year one of my gifts was a card with grass cutting coupons…and I don’t even give her an allowance anymore!

As noted earlier, rewards do change behavior and that’s why they’re so prevalent in business. However, much of the time we can get the behavior change we want and spend a lot less by ethically and correctly engaging reciprocity.

APPLICATION: This week take a look at instances in which you reward people for behavior and see if you can engage reciprocity instead by freely giving up front. Then, next time you need a favor just ask for their help. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how many say “Yes” and that it cost you a lot less.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Make Requests Like a Persuasion Expert

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Persuasion is all about moving people to action. Aristotle defined it as “the art of getting someone to do something they would not ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” The bottom line when  it comes to persuasion is getting someone to do something. How we communicate can make all the difference between a “Yes” or “No” response.

Most of the time people are directive, telling instead of asking, when they want something. For example:

  • Clean your room.
  • Fax me the authorization form.
  • Get me the sales numbers.

Each request is direct and to the point. The communication may be clear but unfortunately people don’t like to be told what to do. And none of the statements above requires a response, which means the recipient of the message might hear what’s being said but think to himself or herself, “No” without ever having to say it.

Each of us makes requests of people daily, and the science of influence tells us with certainty there are better ways to structure our communication if we want to hear “Yes” more often. If you want to make a request like a persuasion expert follow this simple formula:

R = W + T + B + R + D

Request = What + Timeframe + Because + Reason + Downside

Here’s an example using the formula: Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment by several more days?

A number of persuasive techniques are used in the example above so let’s dissect each part.

“Would you” – Adding these two words turns the statement into a question and engages the principle of consistency. A question like this demands a response and once someone says “Yes,” the likelihood they’ll do what you want has gone up significantly.

“by this afternoon” – These three words ensure you’ll get what you want within a timeframe that’s acceptable to you instead of being left to chance. If someone says they can’t get it within the allotted time you can engage reciprocity. Immediately upon hearing no, if you put out a new timeframe (i.e., How about by tomorrow afternoon?) your odds of hearing “Yes” have just gone up because most people are willing to meet us part way after we’ve first conceded a little bit.

“because” – One study showed a 50% increase in “yes” responses when a request was tagged with “because” and a reason was given. This even worked when the reason was bogus! We’re conditioned from childhood to almost mindlessly do what we’re told when “because” is used. Do you remember your parents ever saying, “Because I said so!” in response to your asking why you had to do something? We’ve all been there and maybe you’ve used that phrase yourself.

“I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment” – This invokes the principle of scarcity. People are much more motivated by the thought of losing something as opposed to gaining the same thing. In this instance the person knows they won’t be paid until they’ve done what’s being asked. This is much more effective than saying, “As soon as I get it, I’ll proceed on the claim, and you’ll get paid.”

Once more compare the two requests for the same thing:

Fax me the authorization form.

vs.

Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon
because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim,
which will delay your payment?

Next time you need something from someone, or you need them to do something remember to structure your request by asking instead of telling. Let them know what you want and when you need it by. Tag your request with “because” and a legitimate reason. Finally, let them know what happens if they don’t do what’s asked…the downside. Follow this simple approach and you’re sure to hear “Yes” more often.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

Is Rock ‘n Roll Dead or Just More Great Artists?

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A friend shared a Rolling Stones article on Facebook not long ago by the former lead singer of KISS, Gene Simmons. The article was titled, Rock is Finally Dead. It was Murdered. In one section Simmons laments, “Where’s the next Bob Dylan?

Where’s the next Beatles? Where are the songwriters? Where are the creators?” He goes on to blame file sharing and the attitude of the current generation of young people because they feel they should not have to pay for music.

I posted the following comment to my friend who was a rock musician in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. “I’m not too into music, nothing like you were back in the day, so here’s my question – Could it be that there are more talented musicians who are exposed to the world thanks to social media? More supply with stagnant demand would lead to lower prices. I ask because I’ve come across some really talented people who’ve often made me wonder why they didn’t make it as big as others who don’t seem to possess any more talent. Thoughts?”

His reply, “Definitely something to how fragmented the market is now that the tools to record and promote are in the hands of the masses. There isn’t the same shared experience as when the industry controlled things. But that being said, where is the new AC/DC? Who is this generation’s Led Zeppelin? These acts will never be replaced, but who is picking up where they left off? Where are the huge acts? It’s never been about talent as much as what rock-n-roll meant, the experience, the songs. LONG LIVE ROCK!”

The contrast phenomenon alerts us to the reality that we always make comparisons to other things. Was Led Zeppelin a great band? Many would say so in comparison to other bands past and present. However, some might say the Beatles or U2 are more iconic compared to Led Zeppelin. What music and musicians we like has a lot to do with our musical taste and comparison points.
I’m at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation. We love rock ‘n roll because we grew up on it as did some of our parents. But when Bill Haley and The Comets introduced rock ‘n roll to the world, many folks of that era thought it was trash. They preferred the soothing sounds of Frank Sinatra, the Glen Miller Band and many other musicians from the ‘30s, ‘40s and ‘50s.

It’s quite natural for us to make comparisons. It’s also normal for each generation to believe theirs (music, movies, books, art, athletes, etc.) was the best and that the current crop has lost their way.

As I told my friend, the more musicians and sounds I’m exposed to the more I wonder why some acts make it big and some don’t. It’s not always about talent because many would say Gene Simmons and KISS weren’t talented musicians, just great showmen.

Golfers play 72 holes in a PGA tournament and one or two strokes, after 280 to 290 shots, is typically the difference between winning and losing. Win a handful of tournaments and a player is deemed a star even though he’s barely better (as measured by stroke average) than most other golf professionals.

Unlike having to qualify for tournaments, when it comes to certain artistic talents – like music – social media has knocked down many barriers to entry. More supply means people pay less, even if some new acts are better than the old ones, because we have more to choose from and it’s easier to find what suits us best. We see the same phenomenon with self-publishing books.

With more books on the market to choose from there will be fewer and fewer books that excite the masses than perhaps 50 or 100 years ago when there was less to choose from. That might lead to fewer classics in the future. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean the writers are any less talented. Some might contend they’re more talented because it takes even more to stand out now.

So, what does all of this have to do with persuasion? Each of us competes in the marketplace. For some it’s finding a mate, for some it’s on the athletic field, others it’s business. Whatever we do, wherever we do it, the challenge is to rise above the rest.

  • Why will someone want to hire you over the other bright young college grads?
  • Why should someone buy your music over the other artists?
  • What makes you stand out in your chosen field?

Until you can answer these questions, you’ll be perceived just like all the others because people will be making comparisons.

Your goal has to be to highlight your uniqueness. It’s a form of scarcity. What do you bring to the table, or what combination of things do you bring to the table, that will make someone realize they can’t get what you offer anywhere else. Once you convey that to the right people you’ll stand out. You may not be the next AC/DC, Rolling Stones or Beach Boys, but you’ll probably find your place and enjoy your lifestyle all the same.

 

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

Look for the Best in Others and Change Your Experience

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“You only love me because you make yourself think good thoughts about me,” Jane said one day while in a blue mood. I don’t recall everything surrounding that particular conversation but I never forgot her statement. I replied, “Is that so bad?”

We all experience love differently. We meet someone and “fall in love” but for those who’ve been in long-term relationships you know those initial feelings of love dissipate and change over time. After years you find yourself loving your partner for different reasons than those at the top of the list when you fell for them.

Unlike mere attraction or infatuation I believe love is a choice. To Jane’s statement, I do choose to dwell on her best qualities. I don’t deny there are things she does that bother me, that I’d like her to change, but then she would probably have a much longer list of things I should change! However, that’s not why I keep my mouth shut and choose to focus on the positive. I focus on the positive because I do believe it makes me love her more.

The Apostle Paul knew this to be true when he encouraged the church at Philippi, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

When it comes to influence and the principle of liking – we prefer to say “Yes” to those we know and like – a way to trigger this principle into action is by focusing on what we have in common with others and offering up genuine compliments. When we focus on these two topics we’re generally looking for what we’d consider the good in another person. Not only do they come to like us more, we come to like them more at the same time. After all, the person who cheers for your team, comes from your hometown, enjoys the same hobbies as you, can’t be all bad, right?

A quick reread of Predictably Irrational by behavioral economist and Duke professor Dan Ariely sparked my thoughts on this post as I looked over chapter 10 on expectations. What we think about something or someone before encountering the item or person can dramatically impact our experience.

Remember the old “Pepsi Challenge” taste test? In blind taste tests people seemed to prefer Pepsi over Coke, including many Coke drinkers! However, when people knew they tasted Pepsi and Coke many people, especially the Coke drinkers, preferred Coke!

How can this be if they tasted the very same drinks in each taste test? It’s because knowing you’re drinking Coke, especially when you have positive associations with the brand, impacts your experience. Brain imaging studies in conjunction with the taste tests clearly show the brand association impacts a different region of the brand than the taste sensation and results in a change to the overall experience.

As I considered Ariely’s writing, Jane’s statement, and my understanding of the psychology of persuasion, it made perfect sense that our expectations impact our experience. As noted above, there are things I’d like to see Jane change but dwelling on those versus the qualities I love about her would be a waste of time and energy. If I focused on what she needs to change it’s a sure bet I would not enjoy her company as much as I do when focusing on the qualities I love.

Pondering all of this I realized something else I’d done that was helpful; a simple idea I began using years ago. In my iTunes library, among the many playlists I have, is a playlist titled “Jane.” It contains songs that bring back good memories we’ve experienced, songs that make me thing about her in ways that make my heart beat faster. Hearing songs that make us think of our loved ones isn’t a novel idea but perhaps creating playlists to positively influence your thoughts about a loved one is novel for you.

Wouldn’t you agree that listening to music that makes you think positively about your spouse on the way home, before a date night or while getting ready to spend time together would create positive expectations that would make for a better time together? In my experience it absolutely has!

So here’s my suggestion. Science tells us our expectations will impact our experience as will the choice to offer compliments and connect on similarities. Next time you get ready to be with your spouse, partner, or someone else with whom you have a relationship, make the choice to do what Paul said 2000 years ago; focus on the good in whatever way makes sense for you. It will make things better for everyone.

 

The Scoop on Ice Cream and Persuasion

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I’ve traveled a lot this year and have a lot more trips coming up. If my travel schedule plays out, I’ll have been on the road half of the weeks this year and spent at least 50 nights in hotels. Think about that – 10 weeks away from my family! Some days have entailed hitting the road by 4 a.m. to catch early morning flights and arriving home close to midnight. If you travel you know if can be tiring!

Last month, as I waited to catch an evening flight home I got a text from my daughter, Abigail, asking if I wanted to get some ice cream at Graeter’s when I landed because she wanted to tell me about her first days of college. Despite being tired I agreed because I don’t view such times as a sacrifice; rather it was an investment in her and our relationship.

As we waited in line, I tried to decide what flavor I was in the mood for and whether I’d go with a single scoop or a double. If you’ve been to Graeter’s you know the ice cream is great, but you pay a premium for it!

As I looked at the menu, I saw a single scoop cone was $2.95, and a double was $4.25. I thought, “I just bought a half gallon of really good Homemade ice cream for just over $5,” so I was reluctant to get two scoops at that price. The other thought that raced through my head was, “That’s almost twice as much.” When you do the math, you know it’s not twice as much, but my mind quickly registered the $2.95 and $4.25 as $2 vs. $4 because those are the numbers each price started with.

Something else that came into play as I decided what to do was the fact that I was still a little full from dinner a few hours ago. I decided to skip the cone to save a few calories, so I asked for a single scoop in a cup. The server said, “Would you like a second scoop for just 50 cents more?” I recall thinking, “For 50 cents why not, that’s a good deal?” because in my mind the option of going from one to two scoops was twice as much ice cream but not at double the price.

As it turns out, the single scoop in a cup was $3.75 and two scoops were $4.25…the same prince as the two scoops in a cone that I’d just decided to pass on! It was only a 50-cent difference but in the end, I got two scoops…no cone…and paid the same amount I’d mentally rejected moments before!

I read lots of books on the subject of persuasion, pricing, etc., and yet I ended up in the very place I was initially trying to avoid. Before you chuckle, I can assure you I could probably spot similar inconsistencies in some of your decision-making.

So, what happened to me? My focus shifted from “two scoops for nearly double the price” to “a second scoop for just 50 cents more” when in the end, the price was $4.25 in each case!

When we make decisions, we rarely do so in a vacuum. To assess a “deal,” we’re always making comparisons to other things. My first thought was two scoops for about the same price as a box of ice cream is not a good deal. However, knowing the first scoop was pretty expensive, getting a second scoop for just 50 cents more seemed like a great deal. My mistake was that I didn’t pay close attention to the price of a single scoop in a cone vs. the price of one scoop in a cup. I mistakenly assumed getting ice cream in a cup would be less expensive, certainly not more, because I couldn’t eat the cup.

So, here’s the “scoop” next time you’re faced with a similar decision.

  1. Try to remove your emotions from the decision. Many behavioral economics studies show people are emotional creatures that occasionally make rational decisions (i.e., We have five TVs, but I want a 66-inch flat screen!).
  2. Recognize you’re always making comparisons to other things. Make sure you’re comparing to the right thing and don’t just look for something that will confirm what you emotionally want (i.e., I know we don’t need another television but it’s 50% off!).
  3. Take a moment to consider the value of the thing you’re considering regardless of what you’re comparing to. Value is subjective but oftentimes we ascribe too much value to things we believe will make us happier or more fulfilled (i.e., What will the 66-inch screen, even if on sale, really add to your life?).

Follow these simple steps and you’ll probably make better decisions; the kinds you look back on with pride, not regret.

 

 

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Choose Your Words Carefully Because They Matter

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This summer was a whirlwind! After an unusually heavy amount of travel in the first half of the year. I was looking forward to no airports or hotels until I began making the rounds for fall sales training. All of that changed when I made it known to the head of State Auto’s claims division that I was available if he needed my help. To be honest, I
thought he might invite me to sit in on a few meetings in our home office and share my expertise in influence. Instead he asked if I would travel to each of our claims offices to give an overview of persuasion to all of our claim reps.

Six cities and two-dozen sessions later I concluded with a presentation to the senior leaders in our claims division. As I fielded questions at the end of the talk I was reminded about the need to choose my words carefully. If anyone should be aware of this it should be the guy who teaches influence for a living! Having said that, we can all slip at times and I’m no exception.

During the presentation, I shared about a particular application of the principle of reciprocity. This principle of influence alerts us to the reality that people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them. The particular application I shared that day had to do with concessions. That is, when we concede a little by taking a step to the middle, quite often people feel obligated to take a step towards the middle in response to our first move.

As I spoke about this I shared a story from Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., that shows how powerful concessions can be. Dr. Cialdini had some of his graduate assistants spread out across the campus of Arizona State University to randomly ask people this question:

“Hi, I’m from the juvenile county detention center and we’re looking for people who would be willing to chaperon a group of juvenile delinquents on a day trip to the zoo. Would you be willing to volunteer?”

As you might imagine, spending a day at the zoo with juvenile delinquents didn’t sound appealing so not too many people offered up their time. In fact, only 17% agreed to be chaperons.

At a later time, to test the theory of concessions the graduate assistants started with a much bigger request then retreated to a smaller request upon hearing no. It went something like this:

“Hi, I’m from the juvenile county detention center and we’re looking for people who would be willing to be a big brother or big sister for some juvenile delinquents. Generally we like people to commit a few hours every weekend and we ask that people sign up for two years. Would you be willing to be a big brother or big sister?”

As you might imagine, nobody said yes because that’s a huge commitment but as soon as that offer was rejected the graduate assistants retreated to a smaller request, the one they’d asked people days before:

“If you can’t do that, would you be willing to be a chaperon on a day trip to the zoo for some kids in need?”

The response in that case was a 50% volunteer rate. That’s triple the initial request even though it was the same time commitment – one day at the zoo!

You might not have caught the subtlety in how I shared that second request but someone from our legal department pointed out that the second request for the day trip to the zoo wasn’t exactly like the first request because dealing with “juvenile delinquents” is different than helping some “kids in need.” It’s probably easier for people to say yes to “kids in need” versus spending all day with “juvenile delinquents.”

It was a good reminder for me about how powerful words are! The reality was both requests were identical in the study but I got lazy when I shared the story that particular day. In the study both requests were to spend a day at the zoo with some juvenile delinquents so it was an apples-to-apples comparison.

This post isn’t so much about the power of reciprocity by way of concessions, as it is to remind us that we need to choose our words carefully because they matter. Frank Luntz, a conservative pollster, brilliantly shows this in his book Words that Work. I highly recommend the book because it will open your eyes to scripting used by political parties. For example:

  • Taxes. If you’re against taxing inheritances passed down to family members you’ll talk about the “death tax” but those in favor of taxing inheritances will refer to it as the “estate tax.” Each description conjures up very different images and feelings.
  • Immigration. If you’re for opening up immigration you might refer to people already here as “undocumented workers” but those against it call these same people “illegal aliens.” Again, each word choice creates very different mental pictures and feelings.

These are just two examples of how word choice describing the same thing can make a very big difference in people’s perception of the issues. Remember, what you say and how you say it can make all the difference when it comes to hearing “Yes” or “No.”

 

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

The 7 Most Common Persuasion Mistakes

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When I work with students in the Principles of Persuasion workshop we talk about three kinds of persuasion practitioners: bunglers, smugglers and detectives. Here’s a quick synopsis of each:

Detectives are folks who understand the principles of influence and look for genuine opportunities to use them in order to create a win for themselves as well as the person or people they seek to influence.

Smugglers are individuals who also have some understanding, but they look for shortcuts through manipulation. They find it easier to distort the truth or lie outright in their use of the principles of influence so they can get what they want no matter the cost to others.

Bunglers are people who don’t understand the persuasion process or principles and therefore miss opportunities to be more effective when it comes to persuasion. Or they might intuitively know a few things about the principles but don’t understand how to effectively use them. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people fall into this category, and they make predictable mistakes.In this post we’ll look at some of the most common mistakes people make when trying to persuade others. No offense, but if you find yourself doing these things, you’re bungling away persuasion opportunities.

  1. Validating undesirable behavior

There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in society. For example, too many kids try cigarettes and cheat in school; far too many people don’t vote; violent behavior seems to be on the rise, etc. When you talk about what many people are doing – consensus – you tend to validate the bad behavior. This can cause more people to do the very thing you’re preaching against! Instead, you want to point out good behavior you want people to emulate.

  1. Highlighting gain instead of loss.

I’ve shared in recent posts about homeowners who, when told about energy saving recommendations, were informed they would either save $180 by implementing the energy saving ideas or that they would lose $180 if they failed to implement the ideas, the latter of which is an application of the principle of scarcity. Everyone I share that study with correctly guesses more people in the “lose” group made the necessary changes. And they’re correct — 150% more people in the lose group chose to incorporate the energy saving ideas. Despite intuitively knowing this, most people still go out and talk about all the things someone will gain, or save, by going with their idea. Perhaps they fear coming across as negative but they’re failing to apply the most persuasive approach, and they won’t hear yes as often.

  1. Confusing contracts with reciprocity.

Reciprocity explains the reality that people feel obligated to return a favor. In other words, if I do something for you, you’ll feel some obligation to want to do something for me in return. An example would be as follows; I’ll do A and I hope you’ll do B in return. This is very different than entering into a contract – I’ll do A IF you’ll do B. Quite often you can engage reciprocity by doing or offering far less and still get the same behavior in return.

  1. Mixing up positional authority with perceived authority.

Believing you’re an authority is far different than other people perceiving you to be an authority. Sometimes others need to know your credentials. When people rely solely on their position to gain compliance it will never be as effective as it could be if they engaged people in the persuasion process by highlighting their credentials. It’s one thing for me to do something because the boss says so versus doing the very same thing because I see the value in doing so because an expert convinced me.

  1. Failing to connect on liking.

Effective persuasion has a lot to do with relationships built on the principle of liking. It’s not always enough that someone likes your product or service. Quite often the difference maker is whether or not they like you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a salesperson, manager or someone else, spending too much time describing ideas, products, services, etc., without getting the other person to like you is going to make persuasion harder. And here’s the gem – make sure you create time to learn a bit about the other person so you come to like them, and you’ll be amazed at the difference it can make!

  1. Telling instead of asking.

Telling someone what to do isn’t nearly as effective as asking because asking engages consistency. This principle tells us people feel internal psychological pressure as well as external social pressure to be consistent in what they say and do. By asking and getting a “Yes” the odds that someone will do what you want increase significantly. In the POP workshop we talk about a restaurant owner who saw no shows fall from 30% to just 10% by having the hostess go from saying, “Please call of you cannot make your reservation” to asking, “Will you please call if you cannot keep your reservation?” The first sentence is a statement but the second is a question that engages consistency.

  1. Failure to give a reason.

When you want someone to do something, giving a reason tagged with “because” can make all the difference. As I’ve share with State Auto claim reps, “Can you get me your medical records?” will not be as effective as “Can you get me your medical records because without them I cannot process your claim and pay you?” This approach was validated in a copier study where 50% more people (93% up from 60%) were willing to let someone go ahead of them in line when the person asking gave them a reason using the word “because.”

Conclusion

So, there you have some of the most common persuasion mistakes. By pointing them out hopefully you’ll change your ways if you’ve made these mistakes before. If you’ve not bungled like this then hopefully, you’ll
avoid these mistakes now that you’re aware of them.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”.