Why We Often Miss Seeing and Hearing God

One of the questions I’m asked often, especially by people of faith, is this: “How do you know when God is speaking?”

It’s an important question. And after decades of journaling, reflecting, and walking with God, I’ve come to believe the answer has less to do with whether God is speaking and more to do with whether we’re noticing.

The Car You Suddenly See Everywhere

This may sound familiar, especially if you think about the last time you bought a new car.

When you bought your new car, did you notice you started seeing that car everywhere? You see it on the highway, in parking lots, and at stoplights.

Of course, your car was always out there. It just wasn’t grabbing your attention.

In my work around ethical influence, I use this example often. We talk about Opportunities, the “O” in my PEOPLE acronym. Opportunities to influence people are everywhere, but we miss them when we don’t understand the language of influence and because our limited attention is elsewhere.

I believe the same principle applies to hearing God.

When God Spoke Loudly

Early in my faith, God’s voice felt urgent and intense.

I sensed Him interrupting my thoughts, confronting me through Scripture, or convicting me in moments of temptation. Everything felt high-stakes, but nonetheless, I often wondered: Was that God or just my self-talk?

At that stage of life, I needed God to be obvious. And in His grace, He often was.

Looking back, I don’t see immaturity in that season. I see His mercy. God met me where my attention already was; fearful at times, constantly searching, and usually on high alert.

When Awareness Began to Change

Over time, something shifted. God didn’t stop speaking but He stopped interrupting so dramatically. Instead of isolated moments, I began noticing patterns:

• Lessons repeating in different situations,
• Scripture shaping more and more how I thought rather than how I felt,
• Conviction unfolding slowly instead of all at once.

I stopped asking, “Is this God?” and started asking, “What is God trying to teach me right now that I might be missing?” That was an important change.

Opportunity Requires Attention

In influence, opportunity only matters if we see it. With faith, it’s the same.

I’ve come to believe that many people say God seems “silent” not because He’s absent, but because their attention is elsewhere, focusing on the noise, urgency, performance, or given over to distraction.

Today, I most often recognize God at work:

• During early morning walks,
• In quiet reflection rather than emotional intensity,
• Through memories that suddenly make sense,
• And in a settled conviction that doesn’t demand immediate action.

God’s voice is quieter now but clearer. Like the car on the road, He is always there but sometimes my attention/awareness has to come back into focus.

Patterns I Can’t Ignore

Across decades, a few patterns are unmistakable. I notice God most clearly when:

• My body is moving but my mind is still,
• I’ve chosen honesty over self-image,
• I’m with people who truly know me,
• And, often after the moment has passed.

That last one matters. Some of the clearest times I recognized God speaking and orchestrating things in my life were only in hindsight. I didn’t force meaning, it simply emerged as a lesson that might come in handy in the future.

A Final Thought

If God feels quieter in your life right now, it may not mean He’s absent. It may mean:

• your life is less driven by fear,
• your attention is being trained,
• your awareness is being refined.

Opportunities to influence are everywhere—but we miss them if we’re not looking.

The same may be true of God at work in our lives.

I’m curious—what have you started noticing lately that you might not have seen before?

Edited by ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling and Influenced from Above were Amazon new release bestsellers. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 800,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!