Influence Gone Wrong: A Lesson from the Desert

If you’ve been following me recently, you know I’ve been head down writing my next book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet. It’s due out this fall, and it’s a project that’s deeply personal because faith is the most important part of my life.

My goal with the book is to explore how timeless spiritual wisdom intersects with Robert Cialdini’s principles of ethical influence.

After reading an advance copy, Cialdini wrote, “With this book, Brian Ahearn provides a marriage of spiritual inspiration and psychological illumination that is matchless in my experience.”

Now, when you’re immersed in a project like this, you start to see examples everywhere. And recently, I ran across one in Scripture that grabbed my attention — not because it was a great example of influence done right, but because it showed what happens when influence goes wrong.

It’s the story of the twelve spies in the book of Numbers. Moses sends a representative from each tribe to scout out the Promised Land. When they return, all twelve agree on one thing: the land is rich and abundant. But that’s where the consensus ends.

Joshua and Caleb stood firm in faith, urging the people to trust God and move forward, but the other 10 spies focused on fear. “Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, ‘We should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we will surely overcome it.’ But the men who had gone up with him said, ‘We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us.’ So they gave out to the sons of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, ‘The land through which we have gone, in spying it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants; and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size. There also we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak are part of the Nephilim); and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.’” (Numbers 13:30-33)

You probably know how this is going to end. The majority ruled. The people listen to the ten, not the two. Fear spread, faith faltered, and an entire generation missed out on the Promised Land.

That’s the power — and the danger — of social proof.

Social proof is one of the most powerful tools in the influence toolkit because, in a very real sense, we are pack animals, wired for connection. It’s why we read reviews before trying a restaurant or follow the crowd when unsure what to do. We assume that if everyone else is doing something, it’s probably the right thing.

But here’s the catch: social proof is neutral. It doesn’t care if the crowd is right or wrong — it just amplifies what the crowd is doing.

That’s what happened in the desert. The Israelites had every reason to trust God based on prior experience, but they let the fear of the majority drown out the truth they already knew. They followed the crowd, and it cost them everything.

So, what’s the lesson for us?

First, if you’re a leader — in business, ministry, or life — be cautious how you use social proof. One of the most common missteps I see is when people point to the wrong crowd to try and influence the right behavior.

Here’s what I mean: a teacher says, “Half the class cheated on the last test,” hoping to shame students into better behavior. But what do students hear? “Everyone’s doing it — I guess it’s normal.” And guess what? Cheating goes up.

If you’re trying to discourage a behavior, don’t highlight how common it is. Highlight the positive instead. Even if only a few people are doing the right thing, you can frame it as a growing trend. And that’s often enough.

People are more likely to follow a behavior if they think it’s catching on. “More and more students are turning in their own work,” is a stronger, smarter use of social proof than “Everyone’s been cheating.”

Second, remember this: the majority isn’t always right. There will be times, as leaders or people of faith, where you’re called to stand with the few — maybe even stand alone — against fear, noise, or bad advice. That’s when influence meets integrity.

Joshua and Caleb didn’t win the popular vote. But they stayed true to what they believed, and in the long run, they were the ones who entered the land flowing with milk and honey.

As you go into your week, I’d like to challenge you to think differently about influence. Not just how you use it — but how it’s being used on you. Who are the “ten spies” giving bad reports in your life? And who are the Joshua and Caleb voices you need to listen to more?

Influence is everywhere. It’s happening all the time. Let’s be more intentional about how we use it — and more discerning in how we respond to it.

Your Turn

• Have you ever seen social proof point people in the wrong direction?
• What are some creative or positive ways you’ve used it to drive good behavior?

Drop your thoughts in the comments — let’s learn from each other.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 750,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!