Life Lessons from a Marine Father: The Power of Discipline

Growing Up Under the Influence of a Marine

Being raised by a United States Marine, especially one who served in combat during Vietnam, was anything but ordinary. There were moments when I found my father’s strict ways overwhelming, but as I reflect on those years, I’ve come to appreciate the profound impact they had on my life.

My late father, Captain Brian Ahearn, used the values instilled in him by the Marine Corps  to shape me through countless life lessons. While I might not have understood the importance of discipline as a youngster, I now recognize that it has been the cornerstone of my success and happiness throughout my life.

Discipline: The Bedrock of Success

One of the earliest lessons my father taught me was the value of discipline. For a Marine, discipline isn’t just a concept; it’s a way of life. This approach was ingrained in me from a young age, whether it was waking up early to work out or hitting the books before anything else.

My parents had a tumultuous relationship that culminated in divorce. I vividly remember the day my dad moved out during my sophomore year of high school. In my journal, I wrote:

“I’ve been thinking about how it [dad moving out] might affect me. I think my grades might go down without him pushing me, or I could act like nothing happened and do normal. There are two sides to everything. I know that I’d start staying out late and stuff like that because he wouldn’t be there expecting me home. My discipline will go down the drain, I know that. I guess I sometimes do things because I’m afraid of my dad but not my mom. Neither of them alone would have much control over me, they’re too busy. But together, when one isn’t looking after me, the other is, so I don’t get away with anything. Or, I would have to self-discipline myself, so I don’t get f**ked over because of them. I guess I do need them pushing me. I realize you need all that stuff to be successful, and I think I want to be successful.”

Looking back, I see that discipline wasn’t just about following orders; it was about understanding that success doesn’t come by chance. It’s the result of consistent effort, focus, and the determination to push through even when things get tough.

Applying Discipline in Everyday Life

My father’s lessons on discipline have influenced every aspect of my life. Whether it was during my days as an athlete, an insurance underwriter, or in my later career exploring the science of influence, discipline has always been central to my success. It’s what kept me going when the work wasn’t glamorous and what ensured I never settled for anything less than my best.

I remember my high school football coach, Todd Alles, used to say, “Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.” As I reflect on that, I realize that discipline is the superpower that fuels preparation.

Discipline in Education

When I headed off to college, my dad gave me some simple but powerful advice: “Treat school like a job. Do your classes and work from 8-5, then you can do whatever you want at night and on the weekend.” He was right, and that disciplined approach helped me excel academically.

During finals, I would study for 45 minutes of every hour from 8 AM until 9 PM. It wasn’t easy, but it paid off in spades. That level of discipline carried me through college and into my career, laying the groundwork for the success I enjoy today.

Discipline in Relationships

Discipline isn’t just about work; it’s also about maintaining relationships. In today’s busy world, it’s all too easy to let friendships fall by the wayside. But I’ve learned that discipline can be just as important in relationships as it is in professional life.

One of the ways I’ve maintained long-lasting relationships is through intentional outreach. Decades ago, I started setting reminders to reach out to certain people on a monthly, quarterly, or bi-annual basis. That disciplined approach has led to decades-long friendships.

I also make a point to reach out to people when they come to mind. If someone pops into my head during my morning walk or run, I send them a quick text or email that day. It’s amazing how much people appreciate being thought of, and it’s a small act that can strengthen relationships over time.

Discipline in Family Life

Family is the most important thing in my life, and I’ve found that a disciplined approach can strengthen those bonds too.

When our daughter Abigail was young, we enrolled her in taekwondo. Despite a busy work and travel schedule, I was committed to taking her to the dojo at least two, usually three days a week. That disciplined routine not only helped her develop her martial arts skills (she’s now a 2nd-degree black belt), but it also became a foundation for our relationship because we spent so much time together every week.

Now that Abigail is grown and married, I still make sure to connect with her daily. Every day at 12:34 PM, I send her a text. It’s a small, simple gesture, but it’s one that means a lot to both of us.

With my wife Jane, we’ve always prioritized our relationship by setting aside time for ourselves. Pretty much every Friday night was our date night, even when Abigail was young. That disciplined routine helped us stay connected and has been a cornerstone of our strong marriage.

Discipline in Career

When I started my insurance career, bodybuilding was my top priority. I loved the discipline that came with training, dieting, and competing. People would often comment on how that discipline must be handy in my career, but it took me a while to figure out how to translate that into my professional life.

Once I did, it became second nature to study for insurance designations, read books to increase my knowledge, and consistently get to work early. Discipline wasn’t just a skill; it was a way of life.

Now that I work for myself discipline is even more important because there’s no one telling me what I have to do. I determine my goals, and the actions needed to reach them.

Conclusion: Discipline as the Key to Success

Discipline is the antidote to procrastination, and it’s something we can all cultivate. I’m grateful that a Marine taught me the value of discipline early in life, as it has allowed me to reap the rewards of a disciplined approach in every area of my life.

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from my story, it’s this: Discipline isn’t about rigidity; it’s about creating a foundation that allows you to thrive. Whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth, discipline can unlock the doors to success and happiness.

To learn more lessons, pick up a copy of my new book, His Story, My Story, Our Story: Eternal Lessons of Fatherhood, Sacrifice, and Service. Let’s connect and continue the conversation about how discipline can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 725,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!