Tag Archive for: authority

Influencers from Around the World – Essentials for Political Personalities

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World post is from my friend Yago De Marta. Yago resides in Spain and Latin America where he makes a living as a public speaking coach and media trainer. Like my other guest bloggers, we met because of his interest in influence and persuasion. Much of Yago’s work is with politicians (and businessmen) so his article explores two essential influence ingredients for politicians – authority and liking. Shoot a friend request to Yago on Facebook or LinkedIn, let him know you read his article and I’m sure he’ll accept.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Essentials for Political Personalities


When I train politicians I always repeat the same idea: the politician must be close enough to their voters that they trust him, and yet different enough so as to be considered able to do things the voter never could.

This means the politician must tap into similarities so they can identify with voters. Doing so allows the politician to “tune in” with them so the people sense their reflection, or “their way,” in the image they see projected on television. But the truth is that’s not enough. Clearly, we have great confidence in our best friend, yet we don’t let him take charge of our family finances or give a medical diagnosis for cancer for a loved one. That is, liking is not enough without the authority.

In the case of the politician this duality is even bigger. Everyone is looking for a candidate who is “special,” and it’s this special status that seems to be closely tied to political roles. Unfortunately it seems to be a scarce quality these days. Politicians are viewed differently because if the politician is going to govern the destiny of a country we must believe he’s able to do things we cannot.

Now if these two elements, liking and authority, must be linked to the personality of the politician, and both have different aspects, how are we to relate to them from a practical perspective on the personality of the politician? There are several ways but in this article we will focus on two: stylistic and internal.

Stylistic: A common mistake most novice speakers make is that they change completely when they speak from behind a lectern. All of a sudden they create a pose. They lose their original personality because they begin to talk in an artificial way. This error is very serious because the most important quality of liking in communication is “being real.”

There are two main styles: the systematic and casual. The systematic is normally observed in parliaments. It is characterized by very marked time, a major impact on certain syllables of words and a repetitive rhythm whereas the casual style is more conversational.

Casual is simply “telling” what we mean. My advice to politicians is simply this; go back to basics and be real. When behind the podium one must remember to talk as we talk in a cafe. The first style gives us strength, control, presence. It gives us authority. The second gives us fluency, closeness, credibility. All of a sudden we tap into liking and are likable.

Communicating well from the bench means being able to move on the continuum between the systematic and casual, between authority and liking. If we only rely on one, we can come across as robotic or worse yet, uneducated.

The second aspect we want to explore is the internal. Another common mistake of politicians is ego. I believe a big ego is the opposite of high self-esteem. Big egos can make the candidate come across as brittle and seem distant from the audience.

Remembering Gallway and “The Inner Game,” the player must be “in the zone” and focused. To be in the zone in politics, or in public speaking in general, means being strong and very secure. This implies feeling special, to feel that no one can say things the way we say them. This routine occurs in the mind; a state of force that allows for a very strong speech.

This attitude gives the necessary distance from political environment to create the authority. I often say that if that does not mean being proud. If we are focused, no. What is the focus? People. The politician, and really every speaker, should focus on people. You must look at people and think about the people. This attitude spiritually and emotionally binds you with the public. It’s the reason and motivation for the speech. It allows you to feel safe and absolutely connected with the public. This connection causes liking. It dilutes the ego in the mass communication to make something superior. And communicating well from the bench is being able to move on the continuum between “the zone” and “focused” tapping into both authority and liking. If we only rely on one, or the other, we may be seen as a tyrant or a weakling.

Yago

Note to readers: We may not be politicians but in certain areas of life, such as our careers, we need to effectively tap into both authority and liking if we’re to enjoy success to the fullest, because being liked, trusted and viewed as a expert is what will give you the best chance of hearing “Yes” when you make a request of another person.

Influence Approaches for Different Personality Styles

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Last year I started holding bi-monthly lunch ‘n learn sessions for people who’d been through my Principles of Persuasion workshops. During our time together we discuss different aspects of influence and people participate in interactive exercises to help keep their influence skills sharp. The group is usually 30-40 managers and supervisors from different departments at State Auto. A couple of weeks ago I co-lead a session along with Mike Rau, a State Auto manager, where we talked about strategies for influencing different personality types.

Now I have to tell you up-front; to my knowledge there are no scientific studies on which principles of influence have the most impact on different personality styles. What I’m going to share is my personal opinion based on experience, my understanding of the principles of influence and more than 15 years in sales training.

The chart below, or something similar, might be familiar to those of you who’ve taken different personality tests over the years. It’s a simple way to categorize people based on their orientation. It looks at whether individuals are more task-oriented vs. people-oriented on the vertical axis. The horizontal axis determines whether people are more oriented towards taking fast action, telling people what to do and controlling others vs. people who are inclined to be slower to act, and ask more questions rather than directing people.

Ask – Slower
Control Self		 Task-Oriented
 Tell –
Faster
Control Others
Thinker
Analytical		 Pragmatic
Driver
Facilitator
Amiable		 Influencer
Expressive

People-Oriented
Across the population spectrum about 25% of people fall into each category. Below are the different personality styles, some traits associated with each and bullet points for the principles of influence that should be most impacting. The goal here is to give you a quick reference to fall back on when it’s obvious someone has a strong orientation in one of these four personality areas.

Pragmatic/Driver: Example – Jack Welch former CEO of GE. The pragmatic wants quick results, gets to the point, task-oriented, more controlling of others, acts first then thinks, assertive, risk taker. The best principles of influence when dealing with this personality type would be:

  • Authority – They may not care what the crowd says but prove your point with the opinion or experience of an expert or someone they respect or admire, and they’ll listen.
  • Scarcity – Drivers are successful because they win! Show them what they might lose if they don’t do what you’re asking and you’ll grab their attention.
  • Consistency – Their self-confidence makes them believe they’re right so they might seem like they stubbornly hold to an opinion. If you can tie your request to what they’ve said or done in the past your odds of success will go up.

Influencer/Expressive: Example – Oprah Winfrey. The influencer is focused on social groups and events, more in tune with people than tasks, imaginative, usually sway others, and likes innovation. The best way to engage these individuals would be using the following principles of influence:

  • Sarcity – Influencers don’t want to lose out on opportunities to move people to action. Talk about how they might lose an opportunity and you’ll have a good chance of hearing “Yes!”
  • Reciprocity – They understand how engaging with favors helps because they frequently use that tactic when they persuade. Do something for them and they’ll try to return the favor to build their network.
  • Liking – Expressive people are talkers and quite often like to talk about themselves. Pay a genuine compliment or ask about something they’re into and they appreciate you for taking interest.

Facilitator/Amiable: Example – Sandra Bullock. Facilitators like stable relationships, focus on feelings, less assertive, more people-focused, slow to change, and wants product support. The psychology of persuasion to utilize for this group would be:

  • Consensus – Because they’re so likable and want everyone to get along showing them what many others are already doing will help your case.
  • Liking – They naturally like others and want to be liked so use liking to come to know them and like them and you’ll increase your chance to influence.
  • Reciprocity – Giving small gifts, time, effort, etc. conveys thoughtfulness to the facilitator and will likely be returned in kind.

Thinker/Analytical: Example – Albert Einstein. Thinkers are task-oriented, slower to act, exert self-control, less assertive, data-oriented, prudent, systematic, logical, look to track records/trends. When dealing with this type of person you should look to use the following principles of influence:

  • Authority – Because they think long and hard about things they place a high premium on expert advice.
  • Consistency – Again, because they think before they act they take their words and actions seriously. Tap into what they’ve said or done in the past to make your point.
  • Consensus – The thinker will play the odds and find safety in numbers. Tell them what many others are doing when building your case.

As I wrote earlier, none of this is scientifically proven but I believe it make lots of sense and is fairly easy to remember. Too often people learn about personality styles but do nothing with that knowledge so I encourage you to give it a try next time you find yourself in a situation where it’s very clear the type of person you’re dealing with. Do so and I think you’ll find it a little easier to persuade them and ultimately hear “Yes!”
Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Is Expert Advice Always Worth the Price?

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A few weeks ago I took the day off to blog and do other social media related things but as the hours passed I had writer’s block. Nothing was coming to me until I read a very interesting article, Chris Brogan – Anchoring and Social Proof – Influencing Your Audience, by Paul Hebert. The article talked about how Chris Brogan, a social media guru, publicly stated his $22,000 a day fee for his consulting services. The angle for Paul’s article was how this publicly stated price impacts what other consultants can charge because of the anchor that’s been set.

The article also explores the principle of consensus (a.k.a. social proof) because undoubtedly other social media consultants will move in the upward direction as they see peers begin to do so. It’s a very interesting article so you should take a look.

 

Here’s my question for you (please feel free to comment below) – Would the advice Chris gives be worth $22,000 IF you or I could give the same advice but we charged significantly less only because we’re not as well known? In other words, is the advice more valuable just because it comes from Chris Brogan as opposed to me or you?

As I pondered this it brought to mind an article I wrote last year, Golf Advice from Corey Pavin. My wife Jane is an avid (addicted?) golfer! In that article I explained how I shared some golf advice with her. It was sound advice based on psychology but it went in one ear and out the other. However, weeks later she read a quote from Corey Pavin that was almost exactly what I had told her and she acted as it if was a revelation! For her it was more believable because it came from Corey Pavin. After all, he’s an authority having won the ’95 US Open.

But think about it for a moment, that fact that he said it didn’t change the reality that the advice was the same and should have worked every bit as well for Jane whether he said it or I said it. His expertise and track record make him an authority, giving him more credibility than I have when it comes to golf, but if you are going to pay for something based on authority shouldn’t you get something more for your money? Shouldn’t the expert give something that’s new or unique in some way?
I’m sure a golf lesson from Corey Pavin would include other tips and insights most people couldn’t give and that would make his higher fee worth it for the average weekend golfer. By the same token, Chris Brogan probably brings additional perspectives other less savvy social media folks won’t have. My point is not to say Chris Brogan isn’t worth his fee, it’s to get you to think.
Part of the influence process is establishing your authority because it makes you more believable and as a result you’ll hear “Yes” more often. I have two points for you to consider when it comes to being influenced by a perceived authority:
  1. Is this person really a legitimate authority? Chris Brogan has authority status having written Trust Agents (a very good book by the way) on using the web to build influence. Because of his work and time in the social media arena he’s recognized as an expert in the field. But that’s not always the case. For example, many spokespeople on TV have no real expertise and yet we’re subconsciously swayed by them.
  2. Is the advice something I could get elsewhere for less (money, time, effort, etc.)? Isn’t it disappointing to visit the doctor only to hear, “Rest it and take some Tylenol”? An expert – yes – but worth the money? Probably not when we all know rest is helpful and Tylenol reduces pain and discomfort. Or maybe you’ve attended a conference with big name speakers only to walk away thinking, “I didn’t learn anything new.” Worth it? Probably not because we expect something more from the expert.
The mind is an amazing thing. If someone believes Chris Brogan’s advice, or Corey Pavin’s, more than my advice or your advice (and lets assume it’s the same advice) then they’ll probably work harder to implement it. I know Jane will stay on the driving range for many more hours trying whatever Corey says, as opposed to what I might suggest, and she will be a better golfer as a result of her extra effort. Businesses will likely do the same with Brogan’s advice and that will legitimize his fee. Maybe that’s some of the value they offer?
The question of value reminds me of the experiment that showed kids prefer food in McDonald’s packaging and rate it as better tasting than the same food in plain packaging. As a parent, if it makes them eat the food then it’s probably worth the extra money and fewer hassles. If a customer is gung ho about the advice some authority gives vs. the same advice given by an average Joe then they’ll work harder to apply the guru’s advice and realize more benefit from it. If that happens I think you can legitimately say the expert advice was worth it.

In closing I’ll share a fascinating resource on this subject of value, the book Priceless: The Myth of Fair Value and How to Take Advantage of It. I read the book not long ago and it was an eye opener about how people value things. I highly recommend it because it will change your outlook as a consumer.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

The Apology Heard Around the World

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You’ve probably heard the familiar saying, “Timing is everything.” When I hear that I joke with people and tell them, “That’s true unless you’re in real estate. Then it’s location, location, location.” As timing would have it, perhaps the most famous person alive gave the apology heard around the world last week. After months of speculation Tiger Woods finally addressed the public concerning his issues with infidelity. What’s this have to do with timing? It just so happens to coincide with the next bit of Dale Carnegie advice I was going to share – If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

I wrote about the Tiger Woods’ situation in December, approaching it from the context of character. I tried to drive home that we can’t do anything about Tiger and all our water cooler talk is worthless. It turns out that all the speculation about Elin and his car accident were wrong if you believe Tiger’s apology. I’m going to take him at face value because part of the rehab process is coming clean with the truth and making amends. Assuming his account of that night is the truth then the media outlets and many people wasted a lot of time on that issue. The point of my post was simply this; we can use Tiger’s situation to reflect on ourselves and try to become better people.

The point of this week’s post is to get all of us to reflect on ourselves when we make a mistake. Lots of people think Tiger waited too long to apologize and that his words were not his own but those of a PR firm. That may be true or it may not. I don’t have a PR firm representing me and I bet you don’t either, so we don’t have to worry about that getting in the way of our credibility when we choose to apologize.

When we do make a mistake the quicker we own up to it the less time there is for speculation by others. Once people start down that path they begin to convince themselves they’re right. In Tiger’s case, no matter what he or Elin says about Thanksgiving night, many people are so firmly entrenched in what they believe happened that they might never believe anything different.
So how does this apply to you and I and what we can learn from all this? If we can prevent that speculation from taking root when we make mistakes then wouldn’t it be the smart thing to do? Here are a few examples of people who should have done just that. Not too long ago Alex Rodriguez came clean about steroids. The problem was, A-Rod lied to Katie Couric about it on national television when asked a few years earlier. The late admission was seen as a way to manage his career rather than a genuine apology for something he knew was wrong. Had he been truthful with her I think he would have been revered because he would have been the first baseball player to come forth without having the pressure of an investigation or congressional hearings.

Mark McGwire is in the same boat. Nobody is buying his apology because he lied to Congress about his steroid use. Had he admitted the truth at that time I think public opinion would be much better right now. As it is, most people see his apology as just the necessary step to get back into the game of baseball and possibly the hall of fame one day.

The American public is forgiving when people come clean about mistakes and back it up by living a changed life. I think on an individual level people are very much the same. When I’ve made mistakes and took steps to own up to them I’ve found people willing to extend grace to me. I think of the time when I was a jerk on the road driving in to work one morning. For quite some time I refused to let someone over as we approached the exit. I could have tapped the brakes, been a nice guy and let the driver over but I chose not to and eventually the driver got behind me. It turned out the person I was a jerk to happened to be a coworker who saw me pull into the parking lot. I knew he knew it was me on the highway so I made the choice to apologize. I got a very nice email from him saying we all make mistakes but he knew I was the kind of person who would own up to it. I think we’re better friends today than we were before the incident.

So here’s the bottom line. Don’t waste your time speculating on all the aspects of Tiger’s apology, his sincerity, when he’ll play again, if he and Elin will stay together, etc., because none of that will make you a better individual. Learn from his situation and use it to grow as a person. Next time you make a mistake own up to it quickly. Like anything, if you start with the small stuff it will make it easier when the bigger stuff comes around because you’ll have built character. Make that choice and you’ll become a person of authority and influence because you’ll have credibility.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

What’s Your Worldview?

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I’ve been thinking about my “worldview” lately, so I’ll pose this question to you, “What’s your worldview?” When I think of the term “worldview,” I think about how people try to make sense of what they observe others doing. I’m a pretty religious person and I have a worldview that first and foremost centers around my Christian faith. My faith colors perception of the here and now as well as the afterlife. But I also view things through another lens – influence.

Let me explain a bit further. I’m curious about why people do the things they do. I’m also interested in getting people to go along with my ideas and suggestions. Just like you, I want to hear people say “Yes” when I ask them to do something. That person could be my wife, my daughter, a coworker, vendor or the checkout person at the store.

I was working with someone today and we covered material on influence. I told this person about the science behind influence. I didn’t want her to think it was just grandma’s good advice (not that grandma’s advice was bad; she seems to have been right most of the time!) because it was grounded in real life scientific studies. Those studies don’t give me the ability to predict what you or any other person will do in particular situations because we are complex beings with a lifetime of experiences that shape us and our behaviors. But I can say with certainty that I communicate with confidence and take certain actions because I know my influence approaches will make me more successful on the whole.

There’s more than 60 years of social science to back up my last statement. If you pick up Influence Science and Practice, Yes: 50 Ways Proven Ways to be Persuasive, Maximum Influence or any number of other books on influence and persuasion you’ll see the studies. For example, one restaurant owner saw no shows dropped from 30% to 10% because of two simple words. In another study nearly twice as many people completed a survey because of something they were asked immediately prior to the survey request. Or how about the person who saw a 610% increase in sales because he instructed his salespeople to include some truthful, relevant information!

I can’t tell you how many people will attend your next meeting, and I certainly can’t tell you which specific people will say “Yes.” However, I can tell you things to do, and things to avoid, so you’ll know you have the best chance of maximizing attendance. I can’t tell you if you say or do one particular thing that your child will clean her room, or your boss will give you a raise. But I can tell you things you can do that will increase the odds of both.

Because I’ve seen the studies and experienced the results personally, I’m a believer! My worldview helps me explain an awful lot of why people do what they do. Not everything can be explained by reciprocity, liking, consensus, authority, consistency and scarcity but I’m amazed by how much can!

Earlier I wrote that a worldview was in essence the lens through which I view much of the world. I remember when I was a teenager getting glasses. I didn’t realize my eyesight was poor until I went to the optometrist. I simply figured everyone saw things the way I did. When I got that first set of glasses – WOW! All of a sudden, I could see blades of grass, leaves on trees and so much other detail. I didn’t realize what I was missing. That’s what the lens of influence has done for me. I’m not interested in doing research; I’m interested in understanding it so I can make sense of the world around me and the actions of others. I also enjoy taking the concepts and applying them to different situations to see if they can make me or my coworkers more successful. Now, because of this blog I get an opportunity to go beyond those boundaries. Thanks to Google Analytics, I can see people in nearly 40 countries follow this blog. That excites me!

So, I guess this week’s post wasn’t so much about persuasion tips as it was insight into my mind, my worldview. I would like to take this time to say thanks to all of you who read, who’ve commented and who’ve emailed me with questions or to just say how much you’ve enjoyed reading. That means a lot to me and without a doubt makes my day. Keep looking for posts every Monday at 5:30 p.m.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

Are You “An” Authority or “In” Authority

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Okay, it’s not 5:30 PM on Monday so why the new post? Well, I received an invitation from Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLeaders, LLC, to write a guest article and I didn’t want to pass up a great opportunity.

I met Mike several months ago and we’ve become friends and colleagues. We regularly share ideas over lunch and he’s been a tremendous help to me as I’ve developed my blog. Look for some guest articles from him on Influence PEOPLE in the future. For now, click here to read Are You “An” Authority or “In” Authority.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

Golf Advice from Corey Pavin

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Who would you believe when it comes to golf advice, me or Corey Pavin? When it comes to golf I think my resume is pretty good – I broke 90 a few times and I’ve meet Jack Nicklaus. I’ll grant you Corey Pavin has more room to boast — 1995 U.S. Open Champion and top five finisher in The Masters, The PGA Championship and The British Open. But should that really make a difference?

Here’s the scoop. My wife Jane is BIG time into golf. I joke with people and say the only difference between her and Tiger Woods is nine holes a week…and a really big paycheck! Several years ago I shared something with her that I often share in sales training when we talk about attitude and focus.

When I’m teaching about attitude I ask how many participants play golf and lots of hands go up. Next I ask, “When you come to a hole with water, what do you think?” Inevitably I hear, “Don’t go in the water.” So I ask another question, “Where does your ball usually end up.” You guessed it, “In the water!” Then we talk about the power of focus and how our brains don’t really process the “don’t” in a statement because the brain focuses on the object, which happens to be the water for most golfers. To cure the problem I tell them they have to focus on what they want, which might be, “Go left, aim left.”

This post isn’t about golf so I’ll get to the point. I shared that training tip with Jane one evening and about two weeks later she was reading a golf book I’d gotten her and said, “Listen to what Corey Pavin says…” She proceeded to tell me exactly what I shared two weeks earlier! I said, “I told you that,” but she denied ever hearing that advice come from my lips. “Don’t you remember a couple of weeks ago when I told you about my training class?” A blank stare and more denials from her so I said, “Oh, if I say it, it’s not true but if Corey Pavin says it then it’s true?”

That was a true statement because sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s what people hear. Why did she believe Corey Pavin and forget what I’d said? Because he was an authority, a recognized expert when it comes to golf and I’m not. He and I can say the same thing but people will believe him more because of who he is and what he’s accomplished.

Have you ever come up with an idea and seen it fall flat but then someone else shares it and it’s a success? Don’t feel bad because it happens all the time in business and at home. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride and recognize the idea or message will be received better if it comes from someone else. I believe what goes around comes around and you’ll eventually be recognized for your good ideas and advice but it can take time.

Parents, you can tell your kids to eat their veggies all you want but if Lebron James, Tiger Woods or Tom Brady tells them to eat their veggies, who do you think they’ll listen to more? The sports figures of course.

When our daughter Abigail was little she was a fussy eater like most kids. We could ask her, tell her or threaten her to eat all her food to no avail. But she was always good at the doctor’s office so Jane used to tell her she had the doctor on the phone and he said she better eat all her dinner…and bang, the plate was clean! He was an authority, the doctor, and she knew to listen to him.

Now that Abigail is older and works out with her mom I knew she might not work as hard as she should so I got in touch with an ex-Ohio State football player at the gym. I asked him to have a talk with Abigail and he did so the first day she went to the gym. She sometimes doesn’t listen to mom but she listens to him because he’s an authority in her eyes.

I think you get the point. Sometimes to get what you want you’ll be better off to let the message come from another. In future posts we’ll talk about how to enhance your authority so you won’t have to turn to others.

P.S. Now when I want something I start with “Jane, Corey Pavin says…” Sometimes it works but I think Jane’s on to me.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

The Value of a Personal Mission Statement

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Last week I concluded with a teaser about my personal mission statement so this week I’m going to address the topic and share with you my personal mission statement, or life plan, as some call it.

Back in the early ’90s, I read Steven Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and it really resonated with me. I often tell people, after The Bible the most impacting book I’ve ever read is The 7 Habits. I’m not saying it’s the best book – I’ve read others I enjoyed more – only that it was the most impacting. The impact came because I took the step to write a personal mission statement. Now, each day a part of my mission statement pops up in a task in my daily planner, Microsoft Outlook. Having read it now for 15 plus years, I’ve reinforced who I am, who I’m trying to become and what’s most important in my life.

If you’ve not written your own mission statement I cannot encourage you enough to do so. I’ll go so far as to say it could be one of the most important things you ever do because it’s something that will serve as a guide throughout your life. The mission statement idea is presented in Covey’s book in a chapter entitled, “Begin with the End in Mind.” I’ll leave it to you to read the book, or at least that chapter, so you can write your own plan.

I think a mission statement can help you be more influential in several ways:

  • Writing something down like this will help you stay accountable to what you say is most important and that accountability is ramped up if you share your mission statement with others. When you’re consistent, people come to rely on you which adds to your credibility, a component of authority.
  • Most people I interview never write down their goals let alone have a plan for their life. If you’re ever interviewing for a job and you hand the interviewer a personal mission statement you’ll certainly impress them. I think sharing mine helped me land the job I have today.
  • If you happen to share it with someone who has similar goals or world view then you’re likely to befriend that person because you’ve touched on the principle of liking.

Below is my life plan. It’s not for everyone so yours could look totally different and that’s okay because we’re all different.

My Chief Aim in Life: When I leave this earth and stand in the presence of the Lord, I hope to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant: you were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, enter into the joy of your master” (Matt 25:21).

In order to make this a reality I will focus on four main areas of my life. Each area, while distinctly different, overlaps with the other areas. I want to focus on my spiritual life, my family, myself as an individual and my career.

Spiritual: I want to have a close intimate relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ and I want this relationship to be the priority in my life. I want to live a life that’s consistent with Biblical principles. I will seek to do this by striving for Christ-like qualities, knowing that while I cannot completely achieve them because I am human, I will be rewarded. I want to be a good listener. Finally, I want to reach out to others sharing Biblical love and truth.

Family: I want to make my family my priority second only to my relationship with God. I want to love and honor my wife Jane, building her up so she can become the spiritual being God intends for her to be. I want to meet her needs to the best of my ability and help her live a happy and fulfilled life. I want to strive to give unconditional love to Jane and Abigail, as well as other members of my extended family. I want to create a home environment where each person in my family can come to me in times of need and develop to their fullest potential. I want to earn my family’s respect and be the kind of husband and father they can be proud of.

Personal: I want to like who God created me to be; respect myself; maintain a balance between my mental and physical health; live my life with integrity, not compromising myself but standing firm on my beliefs as outlined in my personal mission statement; be open to change and accept when I’m wrong; continue to develop in the areas of loving, learning and relationships; smile, laugh and show my emotions more; I do not want to be controlled by anyone or anything other than God and need to remember I always have free will and therefore a choice in all matters; I want strive first to understand others, then seek to be understood; to be a leader and role model for others.

Career: I want Christ to be the centerpiece for all that I do at work; I want to give my best effort to whatever task is laid before me; be remembered for making my workplace better for having been there in both a productive and personal sense; obtain satisfaction from my chosen career; be fair and honest while remaining firm and decisive; remember the people involved; earn the trust, respect and confidence of those I work with; continue to develop personally and seek new challenges. Last, I need to remember that I work to live — I don’t live to work. Therefore, I will never sacrifice my spiritual, personal or my family’s well being at the expense of my career.

So there you have it. You now know more about me than you may have cared to know. I encourage you to take a similar step in your own life. Trust me, you will be glad you did.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

Personal Branding

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Last week I wrote about association and how we all have opportunities to create the associations we want people to hold when they think of us. We can do more than just respond positively to “thanks” to create a strong association. What I’ll share this week I owe in great measure to a coworker and good friend, James Seay, MBA.

James has been with State Auto for many years. He took a break to serve our great country in Iraq and upon his return – because of his passion for branding – he started putting on personal branding workshops at State Auto. The sessions are high energy, fun and interactive. His goal is to get people to realize other people (customers, coworkers, the boss) have opinions about each of us and we should be doing what we can to shape those opinions as much as possible. It’s not unlike companies wanting to direct customer’s thoughts when it come to their products or services. As I shared last week, sometimes hard work and a doing a great aren’t enough because that’s what’s expected in today’s economy. To see what James has to say about personal branding click here. You can also see him on YouTube.

I went through James’ workshop and walked away with this as my personal brand, “When it needs to be Done Well!” That tag line now appears on every email I send at work. If you were to get an email from me here’s what my signature would look like:

When it needs to be Done Well!

Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CMCT
Senior Sales Specialist
State Auto Insurance Companies www.stateauto.com
PO Box 182822, Columbus, OH 43218-2822
Phone: 614.917.5472 Fax: 614.719.0201

State Auto is one of only 13 companies to earn an A+ Rating by AM Best every year since 1954!

I want people to know they can count on me to do things well so every new email, every reply and every forwarded email people see, “When it needs to be Done Well!” Do you think they’ve started remembering that? I can tell you they absolutely have because some people will jokingly email, “I need something done well…” I know this; I have them thinking the way I want.

I’ve even incorporated my personal brand into my voicemail. If you called and I was unavailable you’d hear this, “Do you need something done well? Then you’ve come to the right place! Hi, this is Brian Ahearn and you’ve reached my voicemail.” One person, my college roommate from my sophomore year at Miami University, left me a very funny message after hearing my voicemail. When I called him back he said, “I have to be totally serious; if I didn’t know you and I heard that message, I’d say to myself, ‘Now that’s a guy I want to do business with!'” That exactly what I want people to think and act on.

Here’s one more proof positive story. A little over a week ago I met one of our Regional Vice Presidents for the first time. We’d had interaction through email and by phone but had not personally met. When we finally shook hands his first comments in a room full of others had to do with my personal brand. He complimented me on the voicemail, emails and most of all, my work.

Here’s a quick side benefit. When you “advertise” yourself you realize you now have a reputation to uphold and consistency kicks in. You find yourself working hard to maintain that reputation because you don’t want to let yourself or others down. If you live up to your brand then you also add to your authority because people hold you in higher regard. As the saying goes, “It’s all good!”

If you wonder why I choose “Done Well” instead of “Well Done” it’s because I didn’t want people to think I was some lousy chef. Seriously, after much soul searching, considering my likes, dislikes, passions, talents, etc., I came up with that personal brand because it tied into my personal mission statement. Next week I’ll share my thoughts about writing a personal mission statement because a personal mission statement can also help you be more influential.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

When You’re Wrong, Admit it Quickly and Emphatically

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“When you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.” If that sounds familiar it’s becau
se it’s advice that been around since 1935, the year Dale Carnegie published How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie observed the lives of successful people during his day and looked at what worked for him when he wrote that classic book. I call it a classic because so many books come and go but you can still find How to Win Friends and Influence People at any bookstore today, more than 70 years after it first came out! I highly recommend it.

The reason I chose this topic this week is twofold. First, admitting when you’re wrong shows weakness and vulnerability. Contrary to popular opinion, admitting weakness can actually help enhance your authority. The principle of authority tells us people typically look to those with superior knowledge when making decisions. If you want to be persuasive you need to establish your authority so people will listen to you. Authority is established by conveying expertise and credibility. You’re seen as more credible when you show your humanity, that you make mistakes and are honest enough to own up to them.

Dale Carnegie didn’t have social science experiments to fall back on when he told people to own up to their faults quickly but what that advice did was tap into the principle of authority. That’s why owning up to mistakes can be so powerful.

The other reason for this topic at this time is because of a mistake I recently made. I was working with my boss to send an email to some insurance agency owners. They were personalized with the name of each agency owner and agency name on each email. Without getting into technical detail, we used Microsoft Word and the “track changes” feature was left on. Every email went out with the correct name…and the incorrect name crossed out right next to it! Needless to say, as the one with the “technical expertise” on the project I was shocked. My boss was none too happy either since the email went out under his name.

We did the only thing we could; we got a note of apology out immediately. The email that followed said we were trying to add a personal touch to the original email and then acknowledge our mistake. While there were a few snippy replies to our original email with the error, we were flooded with replies to the second email…all positive!

I really believe in this day and age, when so many prominent people fail to simply admit their mistakes, these agents found it refreshing that someone finally admitted to a blunder. One agent told my boss he ought to run for public office.

Think about this for a moment; what if Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) had admitted to Katie Couric during that now famous interview that he indeed had taken steroids? I believe baseball fans
would have said, “Finally, someone who doesn’t have to get caught, go before Congress or have a scandal to force the truth.” Had he done that, I believe A-Rod would have been put on a pedestal and admired as an example of how to handle yourself once you’ve blown it and you know you have. An admission followed up by hard work in an effort to restore his name would not have left him as tainted as he is today.

I’m not saying you can always come up smelling like roses but you probably are far better off than waiting to get caught. On a personal note I’ve seen this to be the case on many occasions. I remember one occassion in particular where I could have treated a store Wal-Mart manager better than I did. While I never said or did anything I was ashamed of, I let my anger at the situation, which was out of his control, show and I’m sure it made for a bad evening for him.

I called him a couple of days later and apologized for how I acted. His first response was, “You didn’t act bad compared to other customers.” I told him that may be true but it still wasn’t the way I know I should have acted. His response was great, “You just made my day. No, you made my week. If you ever need anything you just ask for me by name.”

I could have blown that off but then his day, his week, would not have been as bright. It also made my day and taught me a valuable lesson. That lesson has been passed on to my daughter (she was with me when I got mad), to many people I’ve taught and now it’s been passed on to you. So, next time you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically!

Brian
Teaching You to Hear “Yes!”