Tag Archive for: authority

The Psychology of the Sales Cycle – Closing

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I remember when I was young and single I would go out with friends and see pretty girls, but rarely had the gumption to go up and talk to them. The reason was fear of rejection. Nobody likes that feeling so we do what we can to avoid that possible self-inflicted wound.

In the same way I was afraid to talk to a pretty girl, salespeople are reluctant to ask for the sale for fear of rejection. It’s safer for the ego to let the prospect “think it over and get back to you.” In their uncertainty, prospects do one of two things: 1) take the safe route and don’t change anything, or 2) go with the salesperson who fearlessly asked them if they could start on the paperwork.

The number one question salespeople ask during The Principles of Persuasion Workshop® is, “What’s the best way to close?” My standard response is, “The best way to close starts the moment you meet prospects for the first time, look them in the eye and shake their hand.” From that point forward how easy or difficult closing is depends on what you do. I believe closing the sale should just be a natural part of the ongoing conversation with a prospect. The best compliment a salesperson can hear from a client is, “I never felt like I was being sold.”

Early on in this series I quoted Jeffrey Gitomer, “All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends. All things being not so equal, people still want to do business with their friends.” Tapping into liking early and often will make a big difference by the time you ask for the business. Always start your contact with a prospect on a social level bonding over things you have in common and looking for opportunities to offer genuine compliments.

The more you’ve done for the prospect and the more you’ve gone out of your way on their behalf, the more likely they are to look for some way to give back to you. If you’re unable to close the deal for some reason you might still leverage all you’ve done as a way to get some referrals because of reciprocity.

People want to know they’re doing business with an expert because it gives them more confidence in their decision. As you make your way through the sales process, show yourself to be professional and someone your prospects can rely on for answers when they need them. In short, tap into authority.

I believe consistency is the most important principle to tap into during the closing. Reminding people of what they said is a powerful motivator of behavior! This is where the upfront close comes in handy early in the sales cycle. At some point during the initial meeting or qualification stage you need to find out exactly what it will take for you to earn the right to do business with the prospect. If you know you can’t meet their requirements, cut your losses and move on. But, if you believe you can meet the requirements you might want to say something like this: “Shirley, from what you’ve shared it sounds like if we can meet your specifications at the agreed upon price by the delivery date you mentioned, we’ll be doing business, correct?”

You want the prospect to come back with: “Correct. Meet those specs at that price by the delivery date we discussed and you have a deal.”

This is also the time to confirm there are no other hidden reasons that might crop up to kill the deal: “Just to be very clear Shirley, are there any other reasons I’m unaware of that could get in the way of us doing business?”

Again, you want her to confirm what you’re asking. When it comes time to close you only need to refer back to what you’ve already agreed on: “Shirley, great news. We can meet the specs at the price we discussed and can even deliver a little earlier than you requested. Can we go ahead and start the paperwork so we can get everything in motion?”

It would be very hard for Shirley to come back and say no at this point after you’ve done everything she asked for. Will there be times when someone backs out? Sure. But, using consistency in an approach like this will have more people saying yes and will make it much easier and natural for you to seal the deal.

Last, but not least, is scarcity. Pointing out what someone might save or gain by going with your proposal will not be as persuasive as honestly sharing what they stand to lose by not taking the step you recommend. For example, if you are in financial services, talking about how much more someone might be able to save for retirement by setting aside an extra percent of their income will not be as motivating as sharing what they will lose if they don’t save a little extra.

Ineffective – “Ed, if we can find a way to set aside just 1% more you’re going to have more than $100,000 extra in the bank by the time you retire.”

Effective – “Ed, if we can’t find a way to set aside just 1% more you’re going to lose out on more than $100,000 by the time you retire.”

Hopefully these examples of weaving the principles of influence into the sales process will take some of the fear out of closing. There’s one more post in this series – asking for referrals. Next week we’ll look at ways to make that happen as naturally as the close, by effectively working the principles of influence into your sales cycle.

The Psychology of the Sales Cycle – Objections

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“Let me think about it” and “Your price is too high” are two phrases salespeople dread. They’re perhaps the most often cited objections put out by prospects during the sales cycle. As I noted in closing last week, it’s not often a sale is made without resistance. Objections might come after your presentation or they could be peppered throughout. This week we’ll look at some principles of influence that can be very helpful in overcoming objections.

Two principles that are particularly useful are consensus and authority. They’re the ones to focus on because more than any other principles they help people overcome uncertainty and that’s the root of most objections. We’ll also touch on the contrast phenomenon because it’s particularly useful to demonstrate your offering is actually a better deal than the prospect might believe.

You may have heard the old saying, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.” What that means is, as bad as things may be sometimes, there’s always the chance they could be worse with change. That fear of change is always in the back of the prospect’s mind, especially with big-ticket purchases. Below are a few thoughts prospects may have as you present. In fact, you may have held some of these very thoughts last time you bought something expensive.

  • Will it last?
  • Will it perform as advertised?
  • Will it be worth the extra money?
  • Will I regret this decision down the road?
  • Can I really believe the salesperson’s claims?

The challenge for the salesperson is to uncover the real objection. For example, when it comes to, “Let me think about it,” there may be something underneath that statement. Perhaps the prospect met with another salesperson and kept their appointment with you only because they said they would. It’s okay to ask, “What specifically will you be mulling over? I ask because I might be able to answer some questions for you right now to make the decision easier for you.” People generally don’t like confrontation so it’s easier to avoid it by saying, “Let me think it over.”

Let’s start with price. When it comes to price I tell people, “There’s nothing high or low but comparing makes it so.” If someone says your price is too high it’s because they are comparing it to something else. Your challenge is to find out what they’re comparing your price to and then to reset the comparison point so they’ll see your offer is actually a better value. The contrast phenomenon comes into play because what you present first will make the difference in how they perceive the next item presented.

The principle of consensus, that desire we have to move with the crowd, can help deal with objections. You never want to tell someone they’re wrong because that will only produce resistance. A better approach would be to incorporate consensus through the “feel, felt, found” approach. An example might go like this:

“I understand how you feel because other customers have felt the same way initially. However, here’s what they found…” Then you go on to show them what others discovered. It might be the realization that a higher price, say 10%, is worth it because the product life is 20% longer. Getting 20% more product for only 10% more money makes for a better value!

When we’re in a state of uncertainty making a decision is a lot easier when an expert tells us what to do. Establishing your expertise early on in the prospecting phase makes this much easier. That’s using the principle of authority. You can defer to this casually:

“Ann, as I told you when we first met, I’ve been doing this for 25 years and I can tell you…”

Maybe you don’t have that much experience or the credentials just yet in order to be viewed as an expert. You can still refer to others who are experts and you can share various facts to support your case.

“Bill, there’s a reason Consumer Reports has rated this product #1 for the past three years.”

“Sarah, several independent studies show…”

Dealing with objections isn’t something most salespeople look forward to but there’s good news. First, most of the time people who throw up objections are engaged in the sales process and that means you still have a shot at making the sale.

Second, if you’ve been in your role for any length of time you probably know 80% or more of the objections you’ll face. That being the case, you should be ready to answer those objections each and every time. Give thought to the proper responses, utilize the psychology or persuasion, then drill on the proper responses until they roll off your tongue in a very natural way.

Even if you successfully handle all the objections and the prospect clearly wants to do business with you the sale might not be a foregone conclusion. It’s very likely you’ll find yourself negotiating over price, terms, conditions or other items related to your product or service. The next post will look into which principles of influence will help you negotiate most effectively.

The Psychology of the Sales Cycle – Prospecting

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Dictionary.com defines a prospect as “a potential or likely customer.” By extension, prospecting is the act of searching for potential or likely customers in hopes of setting up an initial meeting.

How salespeople go about prospecting varies by industry, product or service, and personality. Here are just a few ways in which salespeople tackle prospecting:

  1. Cold calls – Getting on the phone and asking to speak to a decision maker.
  2. Mailings – We all get marketing fliers and brochures in the mail where businesses hope we’ll respond.
  3. Email blasts – It’s easy to find email addresses to build a database. This approach is more effective than mailings because you can send the same message to hundreds or thousands at a time with little effort or cost.
  4. Door hangers – Bypass the mailbox and go door-to-door leaving marketing material.
  5. Door-to-Door – It used to be the case that salespeople simply knocked on doors to meet people and sell their wares. This is a very time consuming and expensive approach!
  6. Internet – You can search by various criteria to see who or what businesses in a geographic area fit your customer profile with a goal of target marketing.
  7. Conventions – Going to some event where you set up a booth and interact with customers.

The list could go on and on and I’m sure you’re thinking of a way or two to prospect that I’ve not touched on. Creative prospecting means doing something to stand out from the crowd, something that makes people take note and listen to you when they’re not paying attention to others.

The focus of this article is not to cover the different ways of looking for customers. The purpose is to talk about the principles of influence that will give you the best chance to stand out using whatever approach is best for you. You have one overriding goal when you’re prospecting – to get an initial meeting with a potential decision maker.

When you’re requesting time with someone, did you know they’re listening to their favorite radio station? That’s right, they’re tuned on to WIIFM – What’s In It For Me? In other words, with all the other salespeople who would like their business why should they meet with you?

First and foremost, and this can’t be emphasized enough, you have to believe in your company and product. Will doing business with you make the prospect better off in the long run? If you don’t believe it will, if you doubt your company or product, prospects will sniff you out like an animal smells fear. It’s a survival instinct. For the sake of this series I’m going to assume you have that belief in your company, product and your potential to help the customer.

Knowing the prospect is uncertain about whether or not to give you consideration, the three principles that come into play most prominently when prospecting are consensus, authority and scarcity.It’s natural for the vast majority of people to feel comfortable going along with the crowd. That’s the principle of consensus at work. It’s natural because we look to others when we’re not 100% certain of the course of action we should take. Just remember the old adage, “There’s safety in numbers.”

In your marketing material, emails, phone calls, etc., can you tap into this principle by talking about all customers you already serve? The more you have, the more that consensus comes into play. Allstate Insurance did this effectively many years ago when its spokesman Dennis Haysbert stood in the Rose Bowl and said 100,000 people would watch a game there on Saturday. He went on to say Allstate filled the stadium ten times with the number of people who made the switch last year. When more than one million customers switch insurance companies you can bet many viewers called an Allstate agent or went online to compare!

If you don’t have a huge number, or even of you do, it’s always more effective when you can point out customers or clients who are just like the prospect you’re talking to. After all, dealing with a restaurant owner can be very different than dealing with a grocery store owner, or hotel manager for example. When talking to one of those business owners, if you can refer to other restaurants, grocery stores or hotels you do business with, the prospect will feel more comfortable and you’ll gain much more credibility.

Speaking of credibility, the other principle of influence that comes into play is authority. When people are unsure what to do, quite often they want to defer to an expert, someone they view as having superior knowledge or wisdom. This can be conveyed through your title, years in business or years of experience, awards you’ve won, degrees you’ve earned, credentials and designations. Any opportunity to get this information in front of a prospect conveys you have expertise. It’s a strong reason for them to consider meeting with you as opposed to someone who lacks expertise or has not conveyed their expertise.

The last principle that could come into play is scarcity. It’s a natural response to want things more when we believe we can’t get them anywhere else. Does your company, product or service have something unique or a combination of features that make it unique? This is important because you want the prospect to see he/she can’t get something exactly like what you’re offering anywhere else. If so, and you point it out so they understand what they might lose by not considering you, that might be enough for them to give you that initial meeting.

So the three principles to thoughtfully consider as you approach potential clients during the prospecting phase of the sales cycle are: consensus, authority and scarcity. Engage any or all of these ethically and correctly and you should land more initial meetings with prospects.

Next time we’ll look at the initial meeting with a prospect and how to leverage that opportunity using the principles of influence.

The Psychology of the Sales Cycle – Overview

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Selling, like most endeavors you want to succeed at in life, requires a disciplined process, sharp skills, and good planning. Just as there are specific sales skills that need to be honed through continuous learning and practice there are parts of the sales cycle that require attention and planning. Sharpening your sales skills and refining your sales process are great ways to ensure success over the long haul.

I will be devoting a series of nine posts to exploring the sales cycle, looking at which principles of influence are most appropriate to focus on at different points in the cycle. My goal for this series is to help you understand how to get the most “bang for the buck” when you’re selling.

Let’s start with the sales cycle. Other sales trainers may combine some of these steps and in some businesses the cycle might look a little different. I see the typical sales cycle as an 8-step process, which includes the following sequence:

  1. Prospecting – Looking for new potential customers or clients.
  2. Initial Meeting – The first contact with a prospect.
  3. Qualification – Fact finding sessions primarily designed to assess whether or not you can – or want to – do business with the prospect.
  4. Presentation – Presenting your service or demonstrating your product to the prospect to show him or her how it meets some need they have.
  5. Objections – Dealing with reasons the prospect might bring up that indicate a hesitancy to move forward.
  6. Negotiating – Potentially altering pricing, terms and/or other aspects of your product or service in order to reach a final agreement.
  7. Closing – Getting the prospect to agree to do business with you and your organization.
  8. Referrals – Getting the names of people or organizations you can approach using the client’s name as a lead-in.

The six principles of influence, as popularized by Robert Cialdini, we’ll look at in conjunction with the sales cycle are:

  1. Liking – We prefer to do business with people we know and like.
  2. Reciprocity – We feel obligated to give back to those who first give to us.
  3. Consensus – We look to others to see how we should behave in certain situations.
  4. Authority – We often defer to those with superior knowledge or wisdom (i.e., experts) when making decisions.
  5. Consistency – We feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to be consistent in what we say and do.
  6. Scarcity – We desire things more when we believe they are rare or diminishing.

Another psychological concept that will come into play throughout the series is the contrast phenomenon. This isn’t a principle of influence but is a psychological concept that works in conjunction with the principles of influence at different times. Contrast, sometimes known as “compare and contrast,” alerts us to the reality that two things will appear “more” different depending on what was presented first.

I encourage you to stay tuned because if you do, your ability to sell, and getting to yes, will be much easier when you add the science of influence into your sales approach. Next week we’ll start with prospecting.

Influencers from Around the World – Beware of the Bogus Authority

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To kick off the New Year, our Influencers from
Around the World series starts with Sean Patrick. Sean is originally from Dublin,
Ireland, but now resides in London where he works in sales and sales management.
You can connect with Sean on LinkedIn or Twitter. Sean also owns a sales training and coaching
company, SPT (Sean Patrick Training), Ltd. Always thought provoking, I know
you’ll enjoy Sean’s point of view on “authorities” and their content.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.



Beware of the Bogus Authority
I’ve just finished a well-written book by
Georgia attorney Loren Collins called Bullspotting.
It was a nice segue from another brilliantly written piece by Massimo Pigliucci
called Nonsense on Stilts. As you can
probably tell, the book attacks the nonsensical logic behind some of today’s content
that craftily bypasses the critical filters of its followers, making absurd
claims believable. 
Ironically, the author himself was a proponent
and follower of such people who disseminated misinformation. This got me
thinking about how dangerous it is when we open up to pseudo-authority. This
isn’t just a phenomenon that exists on the fringes; it is everywhere.
In business, we have the same problem but not quite
to the same extreme. Misinformation is like a mind virus that quickly infects
those who really need information to back up their status quo. We’re living in
a time where content is everywhere; it’s like drinking from a fire hose. What
kind of misinformation am I referring to? Half-truths mainly, or tactics that
worked for the author on one very lucky occasion but are now claimed as a
breakthrough. 
There’s also the other kind, the kind where we
think we know about a subject because we read one article or in some cases, the
first couple of paragraphs.  Our ability
to contaminate information further has to be taken in context. Our ability to
recall accurately goes through a process of bending, shaping, remodeling until
we think our warped view is exactly how we saw it. And bogus authority figures
really know this sharing of half-truths is immensely powerful, so we can dot
the lines ourselves as part of the journey to finally agree with the author’s
claims.
In business a client base is like a portfolio
of investments and treating them as such will create long term of value and
recurring revenue. Our job as salespeople is to go deep and create ongoing
change and help clients solve their next problem, and the next and so on. We
strive to drive results with practical solutions and provide serious impact
continually on the relationship. 
Great sales people earn higher fees via
commissions because of their ability to create huge impact and provide value. One
of the key areas in providing value is overcoming the hurdle of misinformation
that clients buy into. As I noted above, most people who consume so much
information on a daily basis fail to employ quality control.  
Over the years as a coach, one of the misdemeanors
that some of my clients were guilty of was dining out on so-called
authoritative content on sales topics and stuff that overlapped into self-development.
What the information consisted of mainly was of brain candy quality. 
The kind of content I’m referring to is the
stuff that isn’t earth shattering (but is marketed as so) and if you sat and
thought long enough you’d probably have come to those conclusions without any
help from the author…and you would have dismissed them!
As people who sell, own a business, or provide
professional services, it’s up to us to engage the client in a way in which we
become the authority and the go-to-favorite of the client. We can achieve this
by proving concept, demonstrating value, helping a client take ownership of a
problem by providing deep insightful information that is contextually relevant
to their most pressing problems.
Focusing on conversations that move things
forward are essential in setting boundaries and prove to the client that we
have a proprietary approach in getting grounded and having more clarity in
aligning themselves with their key priorities.
In this age of content creation and re-creation,
we are deluged by pure nonsense most of the time or at the very least someone’s
biased, one-sided view on matters. This is dangerous if we fail to act
objectively. Thanks to the internet, everyone is now an “expert” and we sit
there in a glassy eyed daze agreeing with what’s being presented to us, largely
because it passes through our filters — 
but only if we let it.

Sean Patrick

A Better America for Ferguson and All Americans

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By now everyone in the nation and most people around the world have heard about Ferguson, Mo. The death of Michael Brown and the grand jury decision not to indict officer Darren Wilson touched off protests that quickly turned into violent riots. Whether or not officer Wilson was justified in shooting Michael Brown, one thing is certain, the events of that day and the grand jury decision blew the lid off of racial tensions that have been simmering for decades.

Unfortunately for those who want to see real societal change when it comes to race, their efforts have only been set back by the riots, violence and looting that have occurred in the aftermath in Ferguson. It’s unfortunate because those who committed the acts, predominantly teens and young adults, probably don’t care about change as much as they did an opportunity to cause mayhem and steal.

When significant change took place regarding race in this country a few notable things occurred. First, in the 1960s, Americans were horrified at the treatment of blacks in the South as they watched the news and saw non-violent protestors attacked by police dogs and sprayed with fire hoses. The key was the protests were non-violent and the people didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and it repulsed most Americans.

A second, and more powerful change agent was the leader of the civil rights movement, Dr. Martin Luther King. Dr. King had a vision and a strategy that moved people to action that couldn’t be ignored. And like Mahatma Gandhi, he knew non-violence was the key.

Those two things are needed today for real change to take place. African Americans need the entire country to see the mistreatment that routinely takes place and to understand how their opportunities are much more limited than most Americans because of racial bias.

Most importantly they need a leader who can rally them as Dr. King did. Without a respected leader their movement will fail. Despite using social media to rally people, the March on Wall Street and We are the 99% movements ultimately failed because of lack of leadership. Couple that with the reality that news cycles are so much faster and people quickly forget the latest “big” story. Think about it for a moment; when was the last time you heard about the March on Wall Street or the We are the 99% movements? I can’t think of the last time either was in the news. More importantly, did any substantive change take place? No.

My personal opinion is current leaders such as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can’t fill the leadership role because of their contentious pasts and current public perception. Even President Barack Obama will be too polarizing to lead this cause when he leaves the White House, in my opinion.

Someone who I believe could fill that role is former General Colin Powell. He has the admiration of all Americans because of his long service to our country and his conduct as an individual. He knows how to lead, strategize, compromise, and deal with the media. He commands the kind of respect that makes people in this nation and around the world listen.

And let’s not fool ourselves into thinking the violence is only a black issue. A brief scan of history will show other groups have been involved in violent protests. For example, in New York City, the Irish (my ancestors) rioted during the Civil War when the draft was instituted. They didn’t want to go to war to free the slaves and felt the influx of blacks moving to the North would hurt their employment opportunities. One hundred people died during the New York riots. Another example comes by way of sports where we see people of all color celebrating then rioting in the streets after their teams win National Championships, World Series and Super Bowls.

But Ferguson was different because the violence we witnessed not only hurt the cause in Ferguson, it hurt the community and ultimately its citizens. Looting, damaging and destroying local businesses will put many in the community out of business for good and some jobs will be permanently lost. In an area with high unemployment they simply can’t afford that.

So, what are some influence tips to bring about change? Here are a few quick thoughts.

Rather than focus on differences, African Americans could focus on what they have in common with the rest of the nation, which is an application of the principle of liking. They need to talk about how they are mothers and fathers like many of you reading this. They’re also sons and daughters. They must remind America they want the same thing we all do – a chance at the American Dream. This should be the norm, not the exception in their communities.

Look for ways to give instead of just asking for change. By giving you engage reciprocity and people will be more inclined to give when you ask. Perform acts of kindness, volunteer in the community and encourage people to go out of their way to help others, especially those who are difference. Kindness is hard to ignore.

A strong leader like Colin Powell would engage the principle of authority because he possesses both expertise and trustworthiness when it comes to leading. Neither Al Sharpton nor Jesse Jackson has the trust of enough Americans to qualify to lead at this time.

The cause has to be bigger that just African Americans. According to U.S. Census statistics, African Americans make up slightly less than 13% of the population. Hispanics and Latinos are more than 16%. Together 30% of the population can’t be ignored. By focusing on change for all minorities and reaching out to sympathetic whites they can engage consensus. The more the average American sees the groundswell of support, similar to what’s happened with gay marriage, the more will get onboard.

Consistency is engaged by reminding all of us about the truths we hold to be self-evident in The Declaration of Independence; that all people are created equal and deserve equal opportunities. By pointing out where the system fails in this regard, it reminds us of our duty as Americans to make this a reality for all people.

The last principle to engage is scarcity. What does this country stand to lose by not affording more opportunities and fair treatment for all? We’re a nation of immigrants. Without people of all races, both genders and each nationality, we would not be the great country we are. If we limit those opportunities we limit ourselves.

Let me conclude with this. A big part of my desire to use this forum for this message comes from the fact that my best friend for nearly 40 years is African America. Russell Barrow was my best man when I got married and again when I renewed my wedding vows. You would be hard pressed to meet a nicer, more caring, giving individual than Russell. My daughter Abigail has always called him “Uncle Russell.” I’ve heard his stories of dealing with racism and seen some firsthand. In addition to Russell, I’ve had the opportunity to befriend many other African Americans through work. They’re wonderful people! For them, their families and future generations I want to see a better America and that won’t come about without change.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World – One Great Question to Ask: Lessons from Marshall Goldsmith and Patrick Lencioni

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This month the “Influencers from Around the
World” post comes all the way from South Korea thanks to Hoh Kim. Hoh and I met
in Arizona early 2008 when we went through training together to earn our Cialdini
Method Certified Trainer designations. To learn more about Hoh visit his
website, The Lab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. You can also find Hoh on
Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
One Great Question to Ask: Lessons from 
Marshall
Goldsmith and Patrick Lencioni
How you communicate your weaknesses can define
whether you’re trustworthy or not, according to Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the
world’s foremost expert on the science of influence. Without trustworthiness,
we cannot have true authority in the eyes of others. Many leadership experts
also express a similar concept.
Everyone talks about the importance of trust.
But, do we know how to act to build trust as a leader? Patrick Lencioni, the
author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,
shared some excellent insight. According to Lencioni, when we use the word
“trust,” it normally means “predictable trust.” For example; I know one of my
team members will do a good job, as she or he has been a good performer in the
past. However, Lencioni suggested that leaders should practice what he called
“vulnerability-based trust.” Leaders cannot be strong in every aspect, which
means they also have weaknesses. Leaders should first know what their
weaknesses are, and they should feel comfortable disclosing them to their team.
Leaders shouldn’t be defensive. Instead Lencioni wrote, “In essence, teammates
must get comfortable being vulnerable with one another.”
Everyone talks about the importance of
feedback in developing people. However, Marshall Goldsmith, one of the noted
experts in leadership development, emphasized the importance of “feedforward.”
Feedback is about your behavior in the past and feedforward is about suggestions
for the future behavior. Feedback is in the rear view mirror, while feedforward
is looking into the windshield. To drive your car you have to pay attention to
windshield, what lay ahead, not the rear view mirror, which only shows what is
behind.
We all have areas of improvement in our
workplace. If you could choose one area for improvement over the next year,
what will it be? Better listening? Faster decision-making? Better emotional
management? Whatever it is, acknowledge your weaknesses to your team members.
You won’t be seen as a loser. If you stay in your weaknesses you might be
viewed as a loser but when you acknowledge a weakness candidly, and ask for feedforward
from your members and colleagues, you will be seen as a more trustworthy
individual.
When you acknowledge weaknesses and ask for feedforward
you make a public commitment to improve. By utilizing the principle of consistency, one of the Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence, you will
have a better chance to actually experiencing progress.
How do you ask for feedforward? Take the
Marshall Goldsmith’s advice and simply say, “I want to be better at (listening,
for example). How can I be a better listener?” If your colleagues suggest
something, don’t defend yourself, just respond with a sincere, “Thank you.”
As we approach the end of 2014, it is a good
idea to practice feedforward with you wife, husband, or significant others. Do
you want to be a better spouse? Let me share one of my secrets to be a better spouse.
Once a year I ask to my wife, “Honey, how can I be a better husband? What can I
do better to be a better husband?” So far, my wife has never asked me to buy her
things like a diamond ring or luxury clothing or high-end handbags. She just
loves to be asked.
Hoh Kim, CMCT® 
Founder, Head Coach & Lead Facilitator,
THE LAB h

www.THELABh.com

Influencers from Around the World – A Short Course in Human Relations

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This month our Influencers from Around the World guest post comes from someone who is familiar to long-time readers of Influence PEOPLE – Anthony McLean. Anthony is Australia’s one and only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT®). He heads up the Social Consulting Group where he teaches people about the principles of influence. I encourage you to reach out to Anthony on LinkedIn and Twitter to learn more from him.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 
 
A Short Course in Human Relations
A past participant of the
Principles of Persuasion Workshop sent me the important message below. His name
is Peter, and he pointed out “There’s
plenty of ‘POP’ in this.” Of course
he was right.
Let’s break it down one line at a
time and let me show you why there is so much of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s
Principles of Persuasion in this short piece.
The six
most important words – I admit that I was wrong.
In the Principles of Persuasion Workshop we teach the Principle of
Authority which says we look to those with extra knowledge or
wisdom on a topic to guide our thinking when we are not sure what we should do.
As part of being an Authority you must be seen as credible and one of the most
important elements to being credible is being trustworthy. If I was to try to take
advantage of you, I would never admit a mistake, let you know I got something
wrong or was lacking in some area of my product or service. But an Authority never hides from weaknesses. They
admit when they are wrong. Why? Because they know how to make it better. So remember,
it’s a mistake to hide a mistake. Admit it, and admit it quickly, then set
about explaining how you intend to make it right. If you don’t, one of your
competitors will highlight it and then your credibility is gone.
The Five
most important words – You did a great job.
Everybody likes to be told they
have done a great job. These five simple words go a long way to triggering the Principle of Liking. Praise is something
that when given genuinely and selectively is a truly valuable tool in building,
repairing and maintaining relationships with others. Therefore don’t throw
praise around all of the time so it becomes common and of little substance. Give
your praise when it is deserved, make it specific and give it genuinely. If at
work delivering praise directly is inappropriate consider influencing the
influencers and deliver the praise indirectly to the person’s boss, colleague
or friends and allow them to deliver the message for you.
The four
most important words – What do you think?
On the face of it you may ask, how
does this question relate to persuasion? The answer is, all too often people
make statements but they don’t ask questions. Firstly this is poor form because
it is more aligned to ordering rather than engaging and, secondly, when you
make statements you remove one very important element from the interaction –
the ability of someone to commit to something. The Principle of Consistency says we encounter
personal and interpersonal pressure to remain consistent with previous
commitments or decisions we have made. If you ask me a question and allow me to
answer, it provides me the opportunity to make a commitment; publicly voicing
my ideas and actively committing toward a course of action. In your next
meeting, think about the questions you ask. Craft well-constructed questions
and give others the opportunity to answer them. Telling someone what to do or
making statements does nothing to engage their intrinsic motivators to drive
the situation forward.
The three
most important words – Could you please…
This line is an interesting one,
firstly because the Principle of Reciprocity says we are obliged to
give back to those who have given to us first. A nuance to the principle is, if
you are struggling to build a relationship with someone, ask him or her to do
you a favor. In doing so they need to have a shift in thinking because we don’t
do things for people we don’t like.  Therefore
by asking them to do you a favor moves them in your direction ever so slightly and
allows for a relationship to commence.
The second point I would make is
to refine the statement. “Could you” and “Can you” are permission statements.
They seek to gain permission or acknowledgement. The problem is if I say to my eight-year-old
son, “Could you clean up your room?” and he says, “Yes,” is he actually
committing to clean his room or is he just saying, “Yes I can, but no I won’t.”?
Therefore in seeking to gain a
commitment to trigger the Principle of Consistency. ask people active questions
that gain a commitment such as “Will you…” then wait for the answer.
The two
most important words – Thank you.
Thanking someone is not only
polite, it’s an important element in building and maintaining healthy
relationships. Therefore when someone does something that you appreciate be
sure to tell them and acknowledge their contributions. Doing so invests in the
relationship and can trigger the Principle of Reciprocity.
The other thing is when someone
thanks you for something you have done you must learn to accept genuine thanks
differently. If someone delivers a heartfelt thank you and you say “no problem”
or “I would have done it for anyone” you are devaluing the relationship. You
are in effect saying, “You are not that important to me and neither is this
relationship.”
Therefore, from now on listen for
genuine thanks from others and recognise it as an opportunity to acknowledge
the relationship you have and highlight that it is not over. Anything you say
will be better than “no problem,” but you must do a better job of accepting
thanks when it is genuinely given.
The most
important word – We.
The fastest and easiest way to
describe a relationship is through the pronoun “we.” It highlights you are
working together and you have things in common. Listen to when people use “we”
in a conversation and they may just tell you when they start to see you are in
a functional, working relationship with them, all through the use of the word
“we.”
One word of warning though; don’t
use “we” too early in a relationship or with someone you have just met to
describe the two of you – it can come off as not genuine and a tactic rather
than a true reflection of your relationship with the person. Let the
relationship build and use “we” when appropriate to do so.
The least
important word – I.
The biggest mistake I see when
reviewing emails, copy and websites for clients is the text is all about the
persuader and not about the person or group they are seeking to persuade. A
very simple test is to do a word search and see how many times you use “I” as
opposed to the other person’s name or even the words you, your or yours. If you
talk about yourself more than the other person or group of people you have
missed the mark.
The other thing is they should
always appear in your email before you do. I am not talking about their name in
the greeting but in the first line. If you start off with,

Hi Brian,

I want to
write you about the new product I am bringing to the market….

This is wrong – it’s all about
you. Instead put them and their needs first. Such as:

Hi Brian,

It was
great to have met you at the conference and to listen to your thoughts on the
new policy change impacting our organisation. You may be interested in a new
product we are launching. Based on your comments I think it will help you…..

Therefore for a bunch of short
sentences I will paraphrase my friend Peter and say, “There is a lot of POP in
them!”

 

Anthony McLean, CMCT

The 7 Most Common Persuasion Mistakes

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When I work with students in the Principles of Persuasion workshop we talk about three kinds of persuasion practitioners: bunglers, smugglers and detectives. Here’s a quick synopsis of each:

Detectives are folks who understand the principles of influence and look for genuine opportunities to use them in order to create a win for themselves as well as the person or people they seek to influence.

Smugglers are individuals who also have some understanding, but they look for shortcuts through manipulation. They find it easier to distort the truth or lie outright in their use of the principles of influence so they can get what they want no matter the cost to others.

Bunglers are people who don’t understand the persuasion process or principles and therefore miss opportunities to be more effective when it comes to persuasion. Or they might intuitively know a few things about the principles but don’t understand how to effectively use them. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people fall into this category, and they make predictable mistakes.In this post we’ll look at some of the most common mistakes people make when trying to persuade others. No offense, but if you find yourself doing these things, you’re bungling away persuasion opportunities.

  1. Validating undesirable behavior

There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in society. For example, too many kids try cigarettes and cheat in school; far too many people don’t vote; violent behavior seems to be on the rise, etc. When you talk about what many people are doing – consensus – you tend to validate the bad behavior. This can cause more people to do the very thing you’re preaching against! Instead, you want to point out good behavior you want people to emulate.

  1. Highlighting gain instead of loss.

I’ve shared in recent posts about homeowners who, when told about energy saving recommendations, were informed they would either save $180 by implementing the energy saving ideas or that they would lose $180 if they failed to implement the ideas, the latter of which is an application of the principle of scarcity. Everyone I share that study with correctly guesses more people in the “lose” group made the necessary changes. And they’re correct — 150% more people in the lose group chose to incorporate the energy saving ideas. Despite intuitively knowing this, most people still go out and talk about all the things someone will gain, or save, by going with their idea. Perhaps they fear coming across as negative but they’re failing to apply the most persuasive approach, and they won’t hear yes as often.

  1. Confusing contracts with reciprocity.

Reciprocity explains the reality that people feel obligated to return a favor. In other words, if I do something for you, you’ll feel some obligation to want to do something for me in return. An example would be as follows; I’ll do A and I hope you’ll do B in return. This is very different than entering into a contract – I’ll do A IF you’ll do B. Quite often you can engage reciprocity by doing or offering far less and still get the same behavior in return.

  1. Mixing up positional authority with perceived authority.

Believing you’re an authority is far different than other people perceiving you to be an authority. Sometimes others need to know your credentials. When people rely solely on their position to gain compliance it will never be as effective as it could be if they engaged people in the persuasion process by highlighting their credentials. It’s one thing for me to do something because the boss says so versus doing the very same thing because I see the value in doing so because an expert convinced me.

  1. Failing to connect on liking.

Effective persuasion has a lot to do with relationships built on the principle of liking. It’s not always enough that someone likes your product or service. Quite often the difference maker is whether or not they like you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a salesperson, manager or someone else, spending too much time describing ideas, products, services, etc., without getting the other person to like you is going to make persuasion harder. And here’s the gem – make sure you create time to learn a bit about the other person so you come to like them, and you’ll be amazed at the difference it can make!

  1. Telling instead of asking.

Telling someone what to do isn’t nearly as effective as asking because asking engages consistency. This principle tells us people feel internal psychological pressure as well as external social pressure to be consistent in what they say and do. By asking and getting a “Yes” the odds that someone will do what you want increase significantly. In the POP workshop we talk about a restaurant owner who saw no shows fall from 30% to just 10% by having the hostess go from saying, “Please call of you cannot make your reservation” to asking, “Will you please call if you cannot keep your reservation?” The first sentence is a statement but the second is a question that engages consistency.

  1. Failure to give a reason.

When you want someone to do something, giving a reason tagged with “because” can make all the difference. As I’ve share with State Auto claim reps, “Can you get me your medical records?” will not be as effective as “Can you get me your medical records because without them I cannot process your claim and pay you?” This approach was validated in a copier study where 50% more people (93% up from 60%) were willing to let someone go ahead of them in line when the person asking gave them a reason using the word “because.”

Conclusion

So, there you have some of the most common persuasion mistakes. By pointing them out hopefully you’ll change your ways if you’ve made these mistakes before. If you’ve not bungled like this then hopefully, you’ll
avoid these mistakes now that you’re aware of them.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

James Bond needs no introduction, but you do!

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I read an article not too long ago that a friend passed along and felt compelled to share my thoughts about it. The article appeared in Forbes.com and was titled “Why Public Speakers Need To Copy James Bond.”

That’s a compelling title for Bond fans and speakers alike – of which I’m both – so I got sucked in and read. The author’s piece was well written and compelling…unless you know something about the psychology of persuasion.

The gist of the article was this – Bond movies open with compelling action-packed scenes, not the credits, to immediately hook moviegoers.  Speakers should do the same by starting immediately with a compelling story.

I wholeheartedly agree that a speaker starting with a good story hooks the audience but foregoing a brief introduction misses out on a golden opportunity to utilize the principle of authority which will make you more persuasive, according to the science of influence.

Imagine going to a conference and getting ready to listen to a speaker you’ve never heard of before. Will you pay more or less attention if you quickly learn beforehand the speaker was the top salesperson in their organization, or had a doctorate, or was one of only a handful in the world who does what he/she does, or had some other fact that established him or her as an expert? I’m willing to bet you’ll be more interested to listen after learning something compelling about the speaker.

Several years ago, Joshua Bell, one of the most accomplished violinists in the world, was playing a million dollar Stradivarius violin in a public subway. Despite the fact that people pay several hundred dollars to hear him in concert, hardly anyone paid attention that particular day in the subway. His beautiful music was the equivalent of a compelling story, but it wasn’t enough to grab people’s attention. Do you think people would have stopped to listen if they knew he was one of the greatest violinists in the world and that he was playing a million dollar instrument?

I’d bet you any amount of money that many, many more people would have paid attention to him and his music.

James Bond enjoys a brand very few individuals can claim. Warren Buffett, Bill Clinton and a few others would need no introduction before giving a speech, but you and I do, so here are six tips for your intro when presenting to a group of any size:

  1. You write the introduction. Don’t leave this to chance because nobody knows you and your expertise like you do.
  2. Keep it short. An intro of 100-200 words is plenty because too long and it’s boring, but too short and you may omit something important.
  3. Make sure it’s audience appropriate. There may be interesting things you’ve accomplished that have nothing to do with the talk so leave out those things.
  4. Include something personal. This allows audience members to connect with you on a personal level which invokes the principle of liking.
  5. Have a third party introduce you. You do this because someone else can say things about you that will sound like bragging if you say them.
  6. Make sure the introduction happens before the talk. Unlike the movies where the credits come later, you want people to feel compelled to listen before you even open your mouth.

Talking about Bond as a model for speaking makes for a compelling headline but not everything, he does will work for you and me. That’s the difference between movies and reality. So, my advice is this; find out what the science says then diligently apply it and you’re sure to give a more persuasive presentation.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE
Helping You Hear “Yes”

As noted last week; Dr. Cialdini has a new book coming out that he’s coauthored with Steve Martin and Noah Goldstein, Ph.D. The book is called The Small Big and can be pre-ordered here.