Tag Archive for: Cialdini

How to Get Everything You Want in Life

Zig Ziglar,
a well known author, sales trainer and motivational speaker regularly told
audiences, “You can get everything you want in life IF you’ll just help enough
other people get what they want.” Wow! Essentially he’s saying just help enough
other people fulfill their dreams and your dreams can come true too. 

Zig might
not have been a social scientist but he clearly understood the power of
reciprocity. This principle of influence tells us people feel obligated to help
those who first help them. So back to Zig; help lots of people and lots of
people will want to help you.

Watch this
two minute video from my presentation at The Ohio State University and you’ll
gain more insight into why the principle of reciprocity is so powerful.  

Are you looking for a keynote speaker, training, or consulting on
how to apply scientifically proven principles of influence to your sales,
marketing, management or leadership?  If so, reach out to me
(BFA654@gmail.com or 614.313.1663) and we’ll talk about your specific
needs. 
Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Thinking Hurts!

This month’s guest blogger in the Influencers from Around the World series is Cathrine Moestue. Cathrine emailed me her article all the way from Norway! She one of the 27 Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world today! If you’d like to connect with Cathrine you can do so on FacebookLinkedIn and Twitter. I know you’ll enjoy “Thinking Hurts!”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Thinking Hurts!
Remember the love song from the Scottish rock band Nazareth called ”Love Hurts” from 1975?  Well it turns out more good things in life hurt too, like thinking. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel  Prize winner in economics, in his latest book Thinking Fast and Slow, explains why thinking hurts – we have two systems in our brains. He calls them rather simplisticly ”system one” and ”system two.” System one is fast, intuitive, and emotional whereas System 2 is slower, more deliberate, and more logical.
Kahneman exposes the extraordinary capabilities – and also the faults and biases – of fast thinking, and reveals the pervasive influence of intuitive impressions on our thoughts and behavior. We are not rational decision makers but highly influenced not only by external stimuli but by our very own way of thinking.
Our biases become evident when we are overconfident about our corporate strategies. We are greatly affected by loss aversion, and our cognitive biases have a profound effect when we invest in the stock market. However, even more importantly they explain why we are faced with challenges of properly framing risks we encounter at work and even when it comes to our national security!
Recently  Norwegians were presented with evidence of how painful our cognitive biases can be. Last week an offical report stated the Norwegian police could have prevented the bombing of central Oslo and caught mass killer Anders Breivik faster than they did. Presenting the almost 500-page report, the inquiry team questioned why the street outside the prime minister’s office, Grubbegata, was not closed to traffic as had been recommended seven years before.
Even our prime minister knew it was a security risk but somehow he couldn’t make a descion to do anything about it. Something else must have been seen as more important, or maybe he thought someone else took responsibility for it. Either way it seems like a classic example of system one thinking, where self-defense prevails, and in reality not much thinking is actually being done at all. Our prime minister is only human and this issue concerns us all. We are blind to our own blindness about our how we think.
The report also notes that a two-man local police team reached the lake shore at Utvika first, but chose to wait for better-trained colleagues rather than find a boat and cross to Utoeya themselves. This waiting cost many lives, and the “Clint Eastwood” mentality was nowhere to be seen, unfortunatley.
When the consequences are not just loss of money, but the loss of lives, young lives at that, the knowledge of influence and decision making becomes rather more urgent, rather more pressing.
The good news is that raising our awareness of the  principles of influence (the shortcuts we use while making desicions) combined with understanding the process of thinking  (system one and two) we have a powerful new tool. A tool that we can use to become more effective in any organization.
Even though the report mentioned here can be seen as a national humiliation there is one Norwegian company that really glows in the dark; the architectural firm Snøhetta (named after one of Norway’s tallest mountains). Fast Company ranked them on its list of the worlds most innovative companies in 2011 and the company has won culturally significant, emotionally powerful commissions such as the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, in Egypt, the new 9/11 museum pavilion at New York’s Ground Zero; and the redesign of Times Square. This Oslo and New York based company has really taken seriously that thinking hurts.

 

If you are the most innovative architectural company in the world you do not have a choice, you have to get out of your mentally lazy state, out of the comfort zone, out of the box thinking and into system two where creativity lies.

Snøhetta has created a method of putting itself in other people’s shoes; it fools its system one by approaching any new project with a change in roles.

The architect must think like the artist, the artist must think like the architect, the economist must think like the sociologist and vice versa. When you hire Snøhetta, in other words, you don’t purchase a signature building (though you’ll probably get one in the end). You buy into a line of thinking, and a process that aims to place equal emphasis on architecture, landscape and social engagement. It is this flexibility of thought and of cooperation between departments we all have something to learn from.

 

Thinking, Fast and Slow is not only a unique book but also part of an intellectual revolution in which social psychological ideas have a profound influence on politics and economists, at least in some countries. Robert Cialdini’s seminal book Influence Science and Practice has been credited for being the key mover of this thought revolution. Indeed, Cialdini, along with a team of behavioral economists including Dan Ariely, Cal Sunstein and Daniel Kahneman, was called on by Barack Obama to help him win the presidency in 2008. I only wish our government had been as foresighted. Thinking hurts but if we want to improve we better get into the habit. The “No Pain – No Gain” slogan seems to be true for sport, business and politics.

Cathrine Moestue, CMCT

 

Dress for Persuasion Success

There’s an old saying you’re probably familiar with – Dress for Success. I can remember hearing that when I graduated from college and entered the business world more than 25 year ago. The basic premise was encouraging you to dress the part and feel the part. In other words, dress like a successful CEO and you’ll carry yourself like one, and then maybe, just maybe one day you’ll be a successful CEO.

That’s not bad advice because a study of persuasion confirms that dressing the part goes a long way when it comes to authority. The principle of authority tells us people defer to those who are viewed as experts and those who possess specialized knowledge. In times of uncertainty the power of authority is magnified greatly.
One way people make quick decisions about a person comes through something known as the “trappings of success.” Think about this picture for just a moment – a man wearing a well tailored navy blue suit, pressed white shirt with a power tie, a Rolex watch, gold pen and polished wing tipped shoes. Would you assume that man is successful? Most people do. The rapid thoughts that lead to that conclusion might go something like this – That’s an expensive looking suit, he probably paid someone polish those shoes, that’s definitely an expensive watch. He must have money or make a lot of money. He might be a VP or CEO.
Maybe those aren’t your exact thoughts but you know what I mean. Despite mom telling is to never judge a book by its cover we do make judgments about people based on dress. Expensive = Money = Success.
Several months ago Cathrine Moestue wrote about this and I’ve decided to reinforce the concept because of something that caught my attention a few weeks prior to her post. I’d left a restaurant after lunch wearing a nice sports coat and slacks. As I waited at the cross walk I looked left and right and saw no cars were coming so I crossed even though the signal flashed the don’t walk sign. There were two men casually dressed on the other side of the street who clearly had no intentions of crossing. However, as the saw me cross they had a momentary look that told me there were now contemplating doing the same. Seconds later it was evident they took my actions as their cue because they too crossed against the light.
They might deny they did so because I was well dressed as would most people. After all, what does wearing a suit have to do with persuading people to jaywalk? To test the theory about dress impacting authority and people’s actions, some social scientists arranged for a man to cross the street against the light and watched to see how many people would follow his lead over the course of a day. The man was dressed in casual attire one day and on another day they performed the same experiment only this time the man crossing against the light wore a suit.
Here’s the result – 350% more people took a cue from the man in the suit and jaywalked, breaking the law. You can literally say they followed suit when he was in a suit! I found it interesting that the two men I saw took their cue from me when I was dressed very business-like.
It needs to be stated that a suit may not always be the right attire to persuade because the audience needs to be considered. I work for an insurance company and one product we sell is farm insurance. The manager of that department rightly shared once that a company representative visiting a farm in a suit would not have as much credibility as the representative who dressed more like the farmer. Likewise, a tuxedo might indicate money but no one wears a tux to the office.
When considering your audience you want them to have a connection with you so dressing in a similar manner but one step up can assure you get the benefit of that bonding and an air of authority. If you happen to be overdressed you can usually find ways to tone it down a bit – like removing a tie or coat – but if you’re underdressed it’s hard, sometimes impossible to recover.
So here’s my persuasion advice: next time you go to an important meeting or presentation make sure you get the full benefit of authority by making the right choice of clothing. Doing so will add to your persuasive abilities but failing to do this might just be the reason you hear “No” instead of “Yes.”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Why I Love Social Media

With nearly a billion Facebook users worldwide and more that 500 million people on Twitter I think it’s safe to say social media is here to stay. It is obvious people want a medium to voice their opinions and to connect with others. What’s amazes me more than those stats are the people who still decry social media and only look at it from a negative perspective.

One definition of “social” is “characterized by friendly relations” and I for one can say I’ve made a lot of friends because of social media and strengthened other relationships that were already in place. I’m going to list some people this week and I hope it inspires you to connect with people on your preferred social media sites. I hope you can make the kind of connections I’ve made around the world because I know I’m better off for it.
Don Hadler and Greg Buckingham are two guys I knew – barely – in high school but now consider very good friends. It’s doubtful we would have built friendships were it not for reconnecting on Facebook.
Michael Franzese is another person I went to high school but didn’t know well. We connected online, found some common interests and try to help each other out. Michael showed me and Abigail an awesome time in Chicago earlier this year. If you like my Influence PEOPLE logo Michael designed it.
Speaking of Chicago, Keelan Kane reached out to me over a year ago when he saw my post about checking in at the Westin. I invited him to come have a drink with me and Jane and we made a friend.
No doubt you’ve seen Sean Patrick’s name on my blog because of his guest posts. Sean was instant messaging me on Facebook years ago which lead to connecting on Skype. Eventually Sean made a trip to the States to stay with us for a week. How cool is that!
In addition to Sean I met Cathrine Moestue, Yago de Marta, Marco Germani, and Anthony McLean online and now they guest write for my blog as well. I know if I travel to Norway, Spain, Italy or Australia I’ll have friends to welcome me. Of course, they have a friend and place to stay should they make it to Ohio.
I met Hoh Kim while going through Robert Cialdini’s certification process together. We certainly would have lost contact were it not for Facebook and Skype. Hoh also guest writes for my blog.
Stella Collins lives in Great Britain and runs her own communication company. I don’t remember how we first connected but we’ve Skyped on several occasions and it’s been fun to get to know her, learn from her and share ideas.
Dennis Gilbert and I went back and forth on Facebook exchanging comments then his travels brought him to Columbus. Jane and I shared a meal – and some beers – with Dennis and got to know him. Our time together made me want to interact with him even more.
Locally I’ve met many people because of social media. Mike Figliuolo really stands out because he’s always given me solid business and blogging advice. He’s the essence of what social media is all about.
I met Justin Bryant on Twitter. We had a misunderstanding but sorted it out and became friends in the process. A social media success story.
George Black reached out to me and we shared several lunches before he moved to Tennessee. If it weren’t for George I might not have ever started this blog. Thanks George!
Mark Abate saw me speak at Franklin University and reached out. Now we have great lunch conversations at Tommy’s Pizza. It also allows me to get my pizza fix in George’s absence.
Marcy Depew and I connected on Twitter then happened to attend a coaching event where we sat next to each other. In addition to some social events we share coffee often.
Merri Bame and I connected online too and now make it a point to get coffee and lunch dated on the calendar. She was kind enough to connect me to John Millen, who I thoroughly enjoy, and Amanda Thomas who allowed me to speak at her networking event recently. Thanks for being a connector Merri.
Barbara Grassey and I became friends on Facebook and have fun bantering back and forth. One time she saw posts about Jane and I playing a competitive round of golf so she reached out to Jane to cheer her on. I think she likes Jane more than me now but that’s okay, I would if I were her.
I’ve gotten to know many people I work with much better because of social media. There just isn’t enough time in the day to connect with everyone at work so keeping track of what’s happening through social media helps keep us connected and makes the times when we do get together much better. Aaron Schaub, Edwin Medina, Steve Miller and Kon Chittavong are just a few people who come immediately to mind.
Last I’ll mention my daughter Abigail. I get a glimpse of how she thinks and interacts with friends as I look at her on Facebook and Twitter. It’s a view my parents never really got with me and my friends. On the flip side Abigail has seen me in ways I rarely saw my parents. She sees my sense of humor and how I interact with friends. We both know each other better because of social media. Note to parents; getting on Facebook or Twitter isn’t about keeping track of your kids, it’s one more way to connect with them, know them and understand them better.
I hope you see many of these relationships never would have come about if it weren’t for social media. Many of the people I’m friends with I’ll never actually meet but that’s okay because I know I’m still better off for having met them online and I hope they feel the same way about me. So my encouragement to you is to reach out to people, maybe some of the folks I’ve mentioned, and take time to interact with them because really good things can happen when you approach social media with the right attitude.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

What Happens To Your Brain When You Are Being Influenced?

The science of influence is just that – science. When I talk about influence I’m not sharing someone’s good advice because all too often that advice might not have any application for you. For example, Donald Trump can tell you things he does to close the deal and those techniques might work for one reason, because he’s Donald Trump. Without the Trump name his good advice might be worthless for you.

When I share influence and persuasion with people, what I share is based on more than five decades of scientific studies done by social psychologists and behavior economists. Based on their studies and understanding of human psychology, if you apply their findings ethically and correctly you will see an increase in people saying “Yes” to your requests.
To highlight the science, when I spoke at The Ohio State University earlier this year I shared the results from a brain scan done on two dozen college students who were presented with information from an authority. I used this example because it illustrates the reality that physiological things happen to people. Click on the video below to watch a three minute clip and learn more about the impact persuasion has on people’s brains.

If you’ve viewing this by email click here for the video.
Are you looking for a keynote speaker, training, or consulting on how to apply scientifically proven principles of influence to your sales, marketing, management or leadership?  If so, reach out to me (BFA654@gmail.com or 614.313.1663) and we’ll talk about your specific needs. 
Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

An Interesting Thing Happened on the Way to Work…

An interesting thing happened on the way to work a few weeks ago. Highways running through downtown Columbus are undergoing major reconstruction so traffic patterns have changed, lanes are restricted and many familiar exits are closed. It makes for a much more tense morning drive than normal.

As I was getting close to my exit I saw a large red truck coming up the left hand lane and it was apparent the driver was going to drive up as far as possible before cutting over to the right a couple of lanes to make the exit. I have no patience for people who continually barge ahead to save a few minutes at the expense of the rest of us who patiently and safely wait our turn. I was fairly close to the truck and my thought was, “He’s not getting in front of me.”
When it came time for him to make his move he did exactly what I thought he’d do. And what did I do? I let him in … and felt okay about it despite my initial angst. This all happened because a principle of influence suddenly made me react differently than I expected to.
The red truck had a Semper Fi sticker on the back and some other Marine stickers so it was apparent the driver served in the military at one time. I was not a Marine but my dad was, having served in Vietnam in the mid-60s. Also, my neighbor Dan, whom I’ve known since he was about three years old, is a Marine who did a tour in Afghanistan not too long ago. And to top it all off, my daughter Abigail loves the Marines because her grandpa served and Dan is like a big brother to her.
All of this ran through my mind in an instant and suddenly I found my attitude and intended behavior toward the other driver changed. It all had to do with the principle of liking. This principle tells us people prefer to say “Yes” to those they know and like. Oftentimes liking is initiated through something as simple as finding similarity with another person. While I wasn’t a Marine, as noted above, I have a special place for them in my heart. When I meet someone who is or was a Marine I always tell them I’m the son of a Marine. So you can see there’s a common bond there.
This shows us just how powerful liking is because I already shared I didn’t appreciate his driving behavior. Quite often the principles of influence override our logical thinking and change our behavior. When I explain this to people sometimes they resist the idea that something outside their conscious compelled them to do something. We want to believe we’re fully in control of our decision making and actions but in reality we’re not. Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational and more recently The Honest Truth about Dishonesty, explores in detail how we’re not logical beings and he shares many experiments in his books to back up that claim.
In Robert Cialdini’s best selling book, Influence Science and Practice, he points out several studies that show the influence liking has on sales. For example, when it comes to Tupperware sales, the social bond (i.e., liking) has twice as much impact on the decision to purchase than does the actual product preference. When it comes to insurance sales Cialdini wrote, “One researcher who examined the sale records of insurance companies found that customers were more likely to buy insurance when a salesperson was like them in age, religion, politics, and cigarette-smoking habits.” In each case, Tupperware or insurance, I’m certain a good number of people buying would adamantly deny the influence of liking but it’s hard to explain away the results.
I’m not going to encourage you to put bumper stickers on your car to let the world know your likes, dislikes and associations. Instead take this simple advice; when you get ready to meet someone, do a little homework to get to know them beforehand. When you learn you have things in common make sure you raise them to the surface early in the conversation because you never know, you may spot something like I did with the Marine and that might make all the difference between them saying “Yes” instead of “No.”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Reputation and the Recency Effect

Last November I wrote a post called “Say it ain’t so, Joe” as the Jerry Sandusky case of sexually abusing young boys at Penn State University came to the attention of the American public. That horrible tragedy has made front page news again in the wake of the Freeh Report which stated there was a failure of leadership at Penn State University. The report also alleges legendary coach Joe Paterno (Joe Pa) knew about Jerry Sandusky’s behavior as far back as 1998.

This has led questions about what Joe Paterno’s legacy will be. Aside from having more wins than any other major college football coach in history, until the scandal broke, Joe Pa, as he was affectionately called by the faithful, was held up as example of a football coach who ran a clean program, helped boys become men, had real “student athletes,” and gave back to the community in countless ways during his 61 years at Penn State.
This post isn’t about convincing you one way or another how you should feel about Joe Paterno. Rather, it’s about understanding what impacts your thoughts about him as well as other people and situations you might find yourself reflecting on.
In psychology there’s something known as the “recency effect” which is also called “recency bias.” In a nutshell, we give more weight to information we recall most easily and quite often what we remember most is what we experienced last.
We see this all the time. In boxing it’s known as “stealing the round” when a boxer is getting beaten for the better part of the three-minute round but puts on a flurry of activity toward the end to win the round.
In the news we see it with different stories, like suddenly believing air travel is unsafe because of a few recent stories on airline disasters. Mad cow disease and the bird flu are another example. Both are extremely isolated events yet we tend to believe they happen far more than they actually do because of the coverage they get and how easily we recall the stories. In actuality, you have much more likelihood of death or injury from driving to work or other daily activities than you do from airplane accidents or the latest flu outbreak.
How about this – have you ever gone somewhere, had a really good time but the whole experience was marred by a bad ending? Maybe it was a great vacation that ended with flight delays or a round of golf that ended with a bad hole or two. If the flight delays were at the beginning of the trip most people would rate the trip higher than if they come at the end. And most golfers would prefer a round that starts poor and ends well rather than starts well and ends poor … even if the score for both rounds is identical.
The recency effect works both ways, good and bad. Take Tiger Woods, for example. While he lost millions in advertising revenue he appears to be accepted by the public every bit as much as he was before. At least that seems to be the case when you see golf fans responding to him when he’s in contention and winning tournaments.
On the flip side, whole careers are washed away when a great player makes a mistake. Just ask Bill Buckner or Jackie Smith. Buckner mishandled an easy ground ball in game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the New York Mets which allowed the Mets to win the game and eventually the series.  Smith dropped a pass in the end zone in Super Bowl XIII that could have possibly been the difference between winning and losing the game for the Dallas Cowboys.
Should potential Hall of Fame careers be weighed most heavily on how they end? Should someone’s misdeeds be relegated to the background just because they’re doing well in the moment? Should the good works of individuals be discarded because of scandal at the end?
The answers to those questions are for each of us to decide personally.  Collectively, our answers will determine how society remembers someone’s career or legacy. My goal is to help you see more clearly, and to recognize how your thinking is impacted by what you’ve recently experienced.  If you understand that you can review situations differently than you might currently. You might come up with the same conclusion but just like having more data to make decisions is usually good, so it is when it comes to understanding how your brain works with the recency effect.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

5 Pointers to Become Listening STARS

Over the last few years I’ve conducted quite a few workshops on different sales skills. The workshops are designed to get people to practice the various skills they learn in our online training environment. One of my workshops focuses on active listening skills. In this post I’ll share five pointers from that workshop to help you become listening “STARS.”

What I’ll share are not principles of influence but they impact influence because if you’re not a good listener then your best attempts at persuasion will probably fail. Listening is
important because it helps you learn about the other person, hone in on similarities, and build on the liking principle. Listening is also vital when it comes to the principle of consistency because only when you hear someone can you tap back into their words and ethically engage consistency.

Listening is an active skill so you need to do several things if you want to excel. Unlike some skills, listening skills are all things you can do. For example, I often tell workshop attendees I can’t dunk a basketball. Never could and it’s not likely at 48 years old, standing just 5’9 tall, that I ever will. It’s a skill I don’t possess and can’t acquire no matter how hard I work at it. If someone told me my career depended on dunking a basketball I’d start looking for a new career. But not so with listening skills! Each of the five pointers I’ll share is within your capabilities if you’ll
simply make the choice to employ them.

To be listening STARS, you need to remember Stop, Tone, Ask, Restate and Scribble. We’ll take a brief look at each of these.

Stop – First thing you need to do when communicating with another person is stop everything else you’re doing so you can give them your full attention. People who think they can multi-task are fooling themselves. Scientific studies show people who try to multi-task end up taking longer to do both tasks and are more prone to errors. My own personal experiment, which I’ll share at the end of this article, verifies this.
Tone – A person’s tone of voice is important for a couple of reasons. First, it indicates mood. You can usually tell by the tone of voice whether someone is happy, sad, angry, stressed, relaxed, etc. The other reason tone is important is because it gives more meaning to the communication. For example, the sentence, “I can’t believe you did that,” can mean many different things depending on the word or words the speaker emphasizes.
Ask – Make sure you ask good questions. This helps clarify the message the other person is trying to deliver. It’s also a great way for you to find out things you think are relevant to the discussion, even if the other person doesn’t think they’re important.
Restate – It’s not enough to think you know, or think you understand what the other person said; you need to verify you’re on the same page. Restating what you think you heard, and then putting the message in your own words is a quick, easy way to make sure you fully understand the message as it was intended.
Scribble – Take notes. Remember, note taking isn’t to write a novel, it’s to capture key points and key words to jar your memory as you recall the conversation. Too often I see people take the focus off of the speaker because they get so intent on writing as much as they can but in the end they miss a lot because this is a form of multi-tasking.
Let me share this about multi-tasking. During the listening workshops I read a short, one-page story to each class. As I read I have one-third of the class just sit back and listen, another one-third takes notes, and the rest of the people are distracted as they try to connect scrambled numbers from 1 to 72 while listening to the story. After I finish I give a 10 question quiz to everyone. Having done this with nearly 200 people what I found was those who took notes got about 60% more questions correct than the distracted group who were busy connecting numbers while trying to listen. Those who just sat back and actively listened got nearly 75% more questions right than the distracted group. Wow!
Two learning points come out of this exercise. First, as mentioned above, if you take notes, be brief so it doesn’t become a distraction. Second, and more importantly, stop whatever you’re
doing and give your full attention to the person speaking. That means put away your cell phone when you’re in a meeting or conference. You can say all you want that you can do both but you will miss more of the message because odds are, you’re probably not the statistical anomaly who breaks the mold.
So let me ask this – what would it do for you if you caught 60% to 70% more of a prospect or customer’s message than your competitors? I’d imagine it would do a lot for sales and service. To wrap things up, if you want to be master persuaders then make sure you’re listening STARS. Make the choice to follow the five simple steps I’ve outlined above and you’ll be on the path to becoming a much better listener.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Great Customer Service Isn’t Selling

I stopped by Bath and Body Works not too long ago to pick up an impromptu gift for Jane. She was in New York with Abigail for the weekend and I noticed her body wash was almost gone. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her when she came home late Sunday night to see three bottles of body wash, each a different fragrance, awaiting her.

While I was at the store a nice young lady came to my aid. Like most men I tried to look like I knew what I was doing and like most ladies who work there, she could quickly spot a clueless male customer. If you’ve never been in the store there’s a dizzying array of choices (lotions, shampoo, body wash, etc.) and even more fragrances!
The lady was helpful, showing me I can take the cap off to smell the different scents. Like most males, I bought the first three I smelled. It’s much like sniffing wine; I’d never send it back but I have to do it to make it look like I know what I want.
I made my three choices, feeling like a bargain shopper because I got the “buy two, get one free” deal, even though the rational part of me knows nobody ever pays full price when shopping there. At the counter I thanked the lady for helping me and in response I heard her say, “No problem.”
She provided good customer service but blew the opportunity to sell it by squandering her chance after hearing “thanks.” So let me state this emphatically – providing good or great customer service is not selling! Unfortunately too many retail establishments and customer service reps think it is.
People expect products to work as advertised and they expect at least good customer service. Providing either becomes nothing more than an afterthought once the sale is made unless the rep sells it. So now you’re thinking; then what should they do? How about this:
“That’s part of the great service you can expect when you shop at Bath and Body Works. Thanks for coming in, I hope we see you again.”
Pretty simple, isn’t it? In fact, it’s so simple every employee can be taught to say it or some variation of it.
So what’s the benefit? It strengthens the connection between the great service and the company providing it. Done the right way and often enough, customers start consciously and subconsciously making the connection themselves. It makes returning to the store the next time a “no brainer” decision.
This taps into the principle of consistency. People want to be consistent in what they say, do and believe. If they believe your company has great products or gives great service they will continue to do business with you unless something else intervenes. And even if something else intervenes – like a lower price – your great service or product will give people reason to pause and think before simply reacting to price. But, if they don’t have reason to pause then why wouldn’t they go elsewhere if they can save a little money?
Brian Tracy, sales trainer and author of The Psychology of Selling wrote, “Selling is the process of persuading a person that your product or service is of greater value to him than the price you’re asking for it.” As a man I know very little about what women should pay for things like lotion and bath salts but I know someone helping me when I look helpless is adding the value that Brian Tracy refers to.
So here’s my advice; find a way to comfortably incorporate, “That’s part of the great [fill in the blank] you can expect when you deal with [fill in the blank].” Play with it, get comfortable with how it sounds, and make it your own. Doing so is a sure way to strengthen the connection in the mind of the customer and will lead to even more repeat business.
Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Moments of Power: How to Identify and Use Them

This month’s Influencers from Around the World post comes to us by way of Italy and Marco Germani. Marco has been guest writing for me almost since the start of this blog. In addition to helping me out several times a year he took time to write his own book on persuasion in Italian, I Meccanismi della
Persuasione
. I encourage you to reach out to Marco on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter because he loves connecting with people.

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Moments of Power: How to Identify and Use Them
During our interactions with others we often unconsciously find ourselves in the so-called “moments of power,” times where we can engage our partner with a highly persuasive lever for the future, even if, at that very moment we have no interest in persuading the person to do anything.
Recognizing and using these moments of power is of vital importance and has become a standard practice of every good persuader. On the other hand, letting these special moments pass without any benefit, as most people do, deprives us of a favorable opportunity to exercise
our powers of persuasion, forgoing the chance to move others in our direction in an ethical way that’s also in their best interest. 
So, what are these “moments of power” and how do we recognize them? And above all, what should we do when we find ourselves in the middle of them? The answer to these questions is surprisingly simple and can be illustrated with a short example:
Dr. Smith, manager at a large company, receives a call from a colleague who asks with a worried tone if Dr.
Smith can lend a hand because he has a meeting with a key customer of the company the next morning and producing sales report is of the highest priority for the colleague. He also needs to produce some other documents and has no time to do this by himself before the meeting.
The colleague is not aware of it but Dr. Smith has recently created a report very similar to the one in question and, with only a few changes, the same document can very well be used for next day’s meeting.
The next day, the two men meet at the office and the colleague first thanks Dr. Smith profusely, praising his
responsiveness and the timing of his action, telling him that he pretty much “saved
his life.” How should Dr. Smith respond to this praise? Being a person of integrity and honesty he simply says, “Well, you don’t even have to thank me, it was a small thing, I had already prepared a similar study and didn’t do anything else but send it with a few changes. I would have done it for anyone!”
Here, Dr. Smith has just found himself in one of the famous moments of power and has just blatantly wasted it!
Sound familiar? Maybe it’s happened to you recently.
Now let’s see what the good doctor should
have done instead. We can identify three fundamental points:
1)
Do not belittle the magnitude of the action.
This doesn’t mean you have to brag about what you have done, saying that the report cost us hours and hours of work, because this wouldn’t be ethical! Just say something like, “I tried to create for you the most accurate and precise report possible.  I put all my efforts in it and I am glad you appreciate it.” The detail that the report has already created is beside the
point when it comes to persuasion and may be omitted.
2)
Highlight the fact that the action was done specifically because the request came from that person.
Instead of saying, “I’d do it for anyone,” say, “I know how important it was for you and I know how hard you work, so if I could give you a hand, I did it very willingly.” In other words, we are customizing our action.
3)
Laying the foundations to be reciprocated.
Proper use of a moment of power gives us a future persuasive lever to use with that person. Another way to look at it is it gives us a “credit” with the other person and the principle of reciprocity alerts us to the fact that the other person will feel obligated to reciprocate in some way. To emphasize and establish this point you just say a simple but powerful phrase, “I know you would have done the same for me if the roles were reversed.”
Think of how many times somebody
thanks you for a favor and how, you can now quickly and easily apply the three
points described above. Begin to practice this technique now so you don’t miss
any more “moments of power.”
Marco