Tag Archive for: consensus

Consensus or Authority? Fad or Fact Might be the Difference

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Ever since Abigail was little we’ve had a tradition of going to Panera Bread for some good food, drink and father-daughter talk. We usually each get sesame seed bagels with butter but she likes her bagel warmed up in the microwave whereas I prefer mine toasted. She’s my kid but we are a little different.

A few weeks ago we stopped by Panera for lunch before Abigail headed to watch her high school play. As we ate and talked she was telling me about a book she was reading for her youth group, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers. I was interested to hear what she had to say because The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is one the most impacting books I’ve ever read. She informed me that adults who write books for teens just don’t get it. I asked why and she went on to say, “If kids did all the things adults told us to do we wouldn’t be kids, we’d just be little adults.” You can imagine the interesting conversation ensued.

Our time together got me thinking about motivating people to change their behavior, and in particular I was thinking about teens. I suspect every person reading this is familiar with the phrase “peer pressure.” It’s just a different term for what is known more commonly as consensus or social proof in psychology. Whatever you call it here’s what it describes; to varying degrees we all look to others to find our cues on how to behave. In other words, we are influence by the power of the crowd. And when people are unsure of what to do consensus becomes an even more powerful tool to persuade others with.

Another principle of influence that comes into play when there’s uncertainty is the principle of authority. When we’re not sure what to do quite often we look for the advice of those who are more knowledgeable than we are. More often than not following the lead of experts helps our decision making.

What Abigail seemed to be saying in a roundabout way was teens don’t necessarily look to adults – authorities – on how to live and act. She’s right, teens take most of their cues from each other and that’s why when we were young mom or dad would ask us, “If everyone else was [fill in the blank] would you?” And we all knew the right answer, “No mom, I wouldn’t [fill in the blank] just because everyone else is.”

Quite often people ask me, “If consensus and authority both apply when there’s uncertainty is one better than the other when it comes to persuasion?” My answer is a firm, “Yes, but it depends.”

In general, if there are facts and stats from experts that apply to the situation you’re facing then bringing authority to bear is probably the right call because it’s hard to argue with empirical data. However, if the situation is more a question of taste or preference then you’d do well to look for ways to bring consensus into the conversation because people feel more comfortable doing what others are doing.

For example, when it comes to investing your money you’re probably better off asking what financial advisors have to say rather than what the neighbors are doing. Consensus will still be a motivator but not nearly as strong for most people as is the word of an authority.

Another example might be fashion. When it comes to fads what everyone else is doing or wearing will be more persuasive for most people as opposed to talking about what a particular fashion designer or magazine has to say. Again, it’s not that those authorities won’t impact decision making. They certainly could but they’re not likely to be as motivating as consensus.

Back to Abigail and books for teens; what should authors do? Why not collaborate with teens to produce something for teens? The authority could give some guidance but by and large the material would come from peers. As adults we were all teens and our desire is good – we want to help teens avoid some of the mistakes we made. The problem is kids think we don’t understand them because, “You were a teenager like a million years ago!”

Here’s my advice – don’t fight the wave, look for ways to ride it safely to shore. That comes with understanding who you’re trying to persuade and which principles will be most effective. Start looking for ways to do that and it’s a good bet you’ll enjoy more success than you currently do.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influence for Professional and Personal Success

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I’ve been very busy lately, lots of travel and presentations revolving around influence and persuasion. Several weeks ago I was in Chicago for the NAMIC (National Association of Mutual Insurance Companies) Personal Lines Convention. I followed that up with at trip to Penn State University where I got to address members of the Keystone Insurers Group. Next it was a small business owner’s event hosted by EasyIT in my hometown, Columbus, Ohio. As you read this it’s very likely I’m in Milbank, S.D., training State Auto field people. Then I’m off to Greensboro, N.C., next week for another Keystone conference. I get to finally catch my breath in late May!

When I address groups to talk about influence, early on I let them know I’m passionate about the subject for a couple reasons. First and foremost, I’ve seen the application of the principles of influence lead to success for me personally as well as for people I’ve trained. When an insurance agent tells me they landed a large account after trying for three years because they used what I taught them or another says they applied what they learned and it worked like magic you can understand we all feel pretty darn good.

Another reason I’m passionate about influence and persuasion is because understanding and ethically applying the principles of influence will not only help your career, it can help your personal life as well. After all, when you leave work you’re still interacting with people and quite often you’re making requests of them, hoping to hear, “yes!” Lots of training programs can help you succeed on the job but not too many can promise to make you better away from the office too.

Aristotle, a pretty smart guy, said persuasion was, “the art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” That’s a pretty solid definition. After all, if someone is already doing what you want then there’s no need to ask, no need to persuade. The problem is, too often they’re not doing what you’d like. The challenge for you is how to make your request.

I would differ from Aristotle on one point; art vs. science. My definition of persuasion would, “the science of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” Social psychologists have been studying the science of influence for more than six decades now. Based in the vast research we know there are better ways – “Best Practices,” if you will – when it comes to making requests of others.

I’m not a social psychologist; I’m a sales coach and sales trainer. I immerse myself in books dealing with psychology with an eye towards how to take what I’m learning and apply it to the real world – professionally and personally. If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time then you know I write primarily about business applications but also devote a good deal to personal issues like parenting. I do this because I so clearly see the principles of influence helping in both areas.

Fortunately for me most people don’t know much about the science and are eager to learn. I opened by saying I’ve been on the road a lot lately and something caught my eye during my travels that I want to share with all of you as a clear way of demonstrating the application of influence could make a big difference.

I recently stayed at a hotel conference center called The Penn Stater. When I walked into my room I noticed a placard in the bathroom that encouraged guests to consider reusing towels to help the environment. That’s a worthy cause but unfortunately the hotel bungled away an opportunity to move more people towards that environmentally friendly action.

I wrote about a similar situation two years ago in an article called Cruising Along with Influence just after taking a Royal Caribbean vacation. Neither Royal Caribbean nor The Penn Stater took advantage of the science that tells us there are more effective ways to change behavior than just appealing to saving the environment for future generations.

A study was conducted on this very subject in an attempt to determine the most effective messaging to get hotel guests to reuse their towels on their first night staying at the hotel. In the study, door hangers were used just like they were with Royal Caribbean and The Penn Stater. In the study one door hanger used a message with only an environmental appeal, “Help Save the Environment,” followed by information on the importance of the environment. Going green is prominent today so that message was somewhat effective and towel reuse went up 37.2%.

A second message was tested, one that engaged the principle of consensus. The principle of consensus tells us people’s actions are influence by what others are doing. This door hanger read, “Join Your Fellow Guests in Helping Save the Environment.” Below the heading it mentioned 75% of guests had participated in the new towel reuse program at some point during their stay. This message was much more effective because towel reuse rate was 44.0% on the first night.

In slight variation of that second door hanger another message was tested, one that stated 75% of the guests in that particular room had participated. When that message was used the towel reuse went up to 49%! That’s nearly a 33% increase over the environmentally friendly message just because a few words were changed. If you knew you could change your message – at no cost – and get a 33% increase in response wouldn’t that be the smart thing to do?

This is just one simple example of how theory becomes practice. There’s no guarantee you’ll get the same boost as studies show but it’s almost guaranteed you’ll get better results than you’re currently getting because the science says so. And who knows, you might get lucky and have even better results!

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Influencing in Australia

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World article is the first guest post from Anthony McLean. Like myself and several of my guest bloggers, Anthony is a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT). In fact, he’s the only CMCT in Australia and he’s going to share with us how to best influence should you find yourself in Australia or dealing with an Aussie. I encourage you to connect with Anthony on Facebook or LinkedIn.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Influencing in AustraliaAs a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer I often get asked what principles work best when influencing people from other countries. In joining Brian’s Influencers from Around the World I thought I would discuss the influence culture within Australia.Many of you may already know about Australia and our culture. Perhaps you know Aussies, have done business here or with Australians abroad, have visited our far away shores or watched Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) or Crocodile Dundee on the big or small screen.Internationally Australians have a varied reputation from being laid back and casual to being beer guzzling loudmouths. The actual fact is Australia, while only having a population of 23 million, is a rich multicultural tapestry. Apart from Indigenous Australians we are all immigrants, some more recent than others; therefore, in such a large and diverse country each principle still applies.Liking – we prefer to say YES to those we know and like.
In World War I and II, Australians found themselves standing side by side with like-minded countries including our close neighbours and friends, New Zealand. It was in the caldron of battle that the ANZAC tradition was forged. We fought together, came from a similar part of the world and had similar values, attitudes and beliefs. This attitude of standing by your mates is still strongly identified with today and like many siblings, Australia and New Zealand have a fierce but friendly rivalry.

Australians are very parochial, whether it is our sporting teams, our political parties, our choice of beer or even the city or suburb we come from. Identify with the things you have in common with an Australian and you are well on your way to making a connection. If you find an Aussie who is not a sports fan, commenting on the fanatical nature of sports fans and the delusional commitment to this activity will also generally strike a chord.Many Australians are willing to give new things a go. In order to create a relationship, look to the experiences or activities you can share with us and it will be this common interest and cooperation that is sure to succeed in building a relationship based on Liking. If all else fails simply make a joke at the expense of a New Zealander or try and say “G’day” and this will generally spark a smile if not raucous laughter.Reciprocity – we prefer to give back to those who have given to us firstAn integral part of Australian society is helping out your mates. While Australians and New Zealanders love to give each other a hard time, when the chips are down that spirit of camaraderie comes to the fore. No better example was seen than during the recent natural disasters in the Asian Pacific rim. Queensland experienced a near one-in-one hundred year flood, then within weeks the biggest cyclone to ever cross our shores hit North Queensland and not surprisingly the first offer of help came from New Zealand. When the earthquake hit Christchurch it was not a consideration of if we would help but how much help we would send. Similarly with the recent earthquake in Japan, Australian search and rescue crews were dispatched immediately to support the teams on the ground because they have done the same for us in the recent past.Reciprocity is a core element to all societies and it is no different in Australia.In the outback it is not uncommon for your nearest neighbour or town to be several hours away. If you were driving on a remote country road and someone needed a tow, or a spare part, or whatever, you would stop and lend a hand because you never know when it may be you who needs some help. If you want to build a relationship with an Australian, going first is the key. Whether it is a kind word in the train, a helping hand with tipping (as we are not very good at it) or buying the first beer; these simple gestures will often ensure you have a friend for life. If nothing else you know we will be there if and when you need us.Consensus – we look to those like us to guide our behaviour when we are uncertain
In the multicultural mix that is Australia we have found that collective Asian-based cultures are becoming a greater influence in our society and connectedness a greater part of our lives. We have people from all over the world flocking to enjoy our beaches, climate and lifestyle. When trying to influence an Australian in a situation where they are not sure of what to do, don’t miss the opportunity to show us what others like us are doing. Whether it is in a work or social setting, highlight what those who are most like us, i.e., those who live or work near us, have the same job, other supporters of our sporting teams, other members of our social or age group are doing in this situation. Show us this and we will be keen to join in.

By way of example in the recent Queensland floods, reports of tens of thousands of volunteers rushing into the streets to help their neighbours spawned even more volunteers to show up until the officials asked volunteers to stop coming as they couldn’t transport all the people to the affected areas.
Authority – when we are not sure of what we should do we look to those with knowledge and wisdom we do not possess.In Australia we suffer from the “tall poppy syndrome,” where those who rise from the bunch can tend to get unnecessarily cut down. It is unfortunate but true.That being said, we are attracted to those whose actions speak louder than their words. Often the person who tends to say the least is listened to when they speak and we even have affectionate names for them like “Rowdy” (i.e., a sarcastic play on the fact they don’t often make much of a fuss). So in demonstrating Authority to influence an Australian, do what you say you will, present yourself as a knowledgeable source that is willing to listen and this will gain our respect. Like others, we are guided by Authorities, but we will expect you to do more than turn up in a big car, tell us you are from a bigger more sophisticated town than ours and name drop.Those who are an Authority will quickly gain our respect; those who rely solely on their position of Authority may not have the same success.Consistency – we are compelled to live up to the commitments that we make.Australians love to exaggerate in telling a good story, so if you want us to live up to what we say, just make sure we aren’t joking when we say something. That notwithstanding, in a country as big and sparsely populated as ours those who fail to live up to what they say they’ll do are quickly identified and are not positively thought of. It is unusual to find people who take great pride in failing to live up to the things they say they will do – it flies in the face of standing by your mates. Therefore, if you want an Australian to follow through with something, align your requests or proposals with the things they already stand for and you will have little problem getting us to do what we say we will.Scarcity – we are motivated by those things that are rare or dwindling in availabilityEven though Australia is often referred to as the lucky country, we cannot stand to lose the things we need any more than someone from overseas can. In a broad brown land that is often plagued with drought we understand the importance of seizing the opportunity when it presents. Therefore, when influencing an Australian show us what we stand to lose and we will be motivated to act. As keen sports people, show us we are in competition with others for your services and we will certainly take notice.One last point — to influence an Australian remember that we don’t tend to take ourselves too seriously. So feel free to share a smile, a joke or a kind word. Tell us when you make a mistake and show us how we can fix it. Treat us with respect and you will always be welcome to come around for a barbeque.Finally, replace the word Australian with wherever you come from and you’ll see that we are not that different to you. The principles of persuasion work all over the world, but they are about influencing people not countries. With the global village getting smaller every day, do your research on the person you are trying to influence and once you find out what types of things they stand for don’t bungle the opportunity to improve both of your positions.Anthony McLean, CMCT

 

How Bernie Madoff with our Money

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We all know the name Bernie Madoff, perpetrator of the biggest Ponzi scheme ever in American business. It’s estimated that $36 billion was invested with Madoff’s firm and that upwards of $18 billion is still missing.

A few weeks ago I was in Cleveland to speak at the local chapter of the Chartered Property Casualty Underwriters (CPCU). I was asked to talk about ethics so I decided a unique approach for this insurance group would be taking a look at Dr. Cialdini’s principles of influence and how they were used by Bernie Madoff. The title for my talk was “How Bernie Madoff with our Money.”

When I talk about the principles of influence I usually refer to ethical influence and persuasion so talking about the unethical use was an interesting change for me. The principles of influence tap into the psychology of human behavior – what causes someone to say “Yes” to a request – and they are powerful! Social scientists and behavioral economists have been scientifically studying human behavior for more than five decades so there’s plenty of data to back up that statement.

Con men may not know the science but through trial and error they quickly figure out how to use the psychology to their advantage. I think it’s important that people understand the principles not only to become more adept at ethically influencing people but also to avoid being manipulated by con men such as Bernie Madoff. I’m going to briefly describe each principle then share something Madoff did that helped him continually bring in new investors for decades. After all, Ponzi schemes depend on a continued inflow of investors and money or else they quickly collapse, so landing new clients was of the utmost importance for Madoff.

Reciprocity – We feel obligated to give back to those who first give to us. When someone does us a favor we want to return the favor in some way and silly as it may sound Bernie made it seem like he was doing his clients a favor by letting them invest with him. After all, his clientele were the rich and famous, he’d been a glowing success for decades and he was well respected. It was a privilege to let him handle their money. The favor was returned as people told others about him and new clients came by way of referral.  

Liking – People like to do business with people we like, especially those who are similar to them. Madoff tapped into this principle based on his similarities to many of his clients. For starters, he recruited from his country club. That’s not out of the ordinary at all because men gauge one another’s character a lot based on shared experiences like golfing. In addition to this, Madoff tapped into similarity through his Jewish heritage because many of his victims were Jewish and trusted him more based on this.

Consensus – We feel more comfortable doing what everyone else is doing or doing what people just like us are doing. If you’re rich then you hang with people who are rich too. Inevitably conversation turns to business so undoubtedly Madoff’s name was passed around like the offering plate at church. If you know many of your most successful friends invest with someone that’s going to give you pause to consider making a switch.

Authority – People tend to trust those who are viewed as experts and Bernie had this one down! He’d been investing successfully since the early 1960s, but what was more impressive was that he helped start the NASDAQ. His trustworthiness was impeccable because he also served as the Chairman of the Board for the National Association of Security Dealers. Why wouldn’t you automatically trust him with those credentials on his side?

Consistency – We like to be consistent in what we say and do because when you do something you usually do it because you believe it’s the right thing to do. If someone asks who you invest with and whether or not you’re doing well of course you’ll respond positively. Being the con-man he was, I’m sure Madoff occasionally asked his biggest clients for referrals and recommendations which they were probably all too willing to do. After all, it would be inconsistent not to.

Scarcity – People want more of what they can’t have or something that is hard to come by. I don’t think Madoff’s firm was one in which any person could pick up the phone and ask to open an account. When you’re dealing in the billions like he was it tends to be a very exclusive club and the more exclusive, the more people wanted in. How would you feel if you knew a business only took on a limited number of new clients each year and you were one they were considering? Most people would jump at the chance.

So there you have it, a quick overview of some of the psychology of How Bernie Madoff with our Money. Hindsight is 20/20 so it’s easy for us to look back and think we’d never be fooled in such a way. However, think about the kinds of people who invested with him – the rich and famous – people who were smart or had smart people managing their money. No, the reality is we’re all susceptible because we’re human and the same psychological pull would be at work in us. Madoff’s situation and science both confirm that. Here’s my advice to you; continue to learn about influence, keep your eyes and ears open, and learn to trust your gut because when something seems too good to be true it usually is.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World – The Unavoidable Influence of Death

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World article is from Yago de Marta. If you’ve been a reader of Influence PEOPLE for any length of time then you’ve no doubt read some articles by Yago. I think you’ll find his perspective on influence and death intriguing. I encourage you to check out his website and reach out to him on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Unavoidable Influence of Death

Some months ago a very popular person from my hometown died. His name was Jose Antonio Labordeta. The purpose of this article is not to remember his life because media all around the world, especially in Spain, have already done that. The article that appeared in The Guardian (UK) made me ponder the following questions about death’s influence on the living:
What involves death that makes it so influential? Why does death go beyond our daily affairs and routines? What is the mechanism of death’s influence?In Labordeta’s case there is an element which allows us to follow his influence. In 1975 he composed “Song to Liberty” (Canto a la Libertad). At that moment and many times since there were people who proposed this song as the regional anthem of this area, Aragón. And from that time forward the song was sung in different historical events.
However, on September 19 Labordeta died and from that moment on everything changed. Google tells us about the great number of people who attended his funeral. Maybe some of them had never heard of his songs but the crowd of people shows us the way individuals and associations mobilized to make “Canto a la Libertad” the anthem of Aragón.At this moment the song hasn’t officially become the anthem so it’s difficult to give a final valuation on the way Labordeta’s death will influence his works. Nonetheless, we do observe most of Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence in death and that’s what this article is really about.
Reciprocation: Yes, it’s true that the dead cannot give us anything to invoke reciprocity but in some way, if we show ourselves to be understanding and kind with the dead, we hope others will show empathy with us when we die. One of the most common activities of the human mind is to wonder, “Who will come to my funeral?” Taking this idea, if we are kind with the dearly departed then we think people will be kind with us when we pass on.Commitment and Consistency: From childhood on, we are told to be respectful of the dead. This has happened since the origins of humankind. This expectation causes a kind of fixed attitude toward death in our minds throughout life. Even when we are older, if somebody dies we show ourselves to be sad and sorrowful. We are that way partly because we are expected to act like that.Social Proof (Consensus): This is very remarkable in the case of film or pop stars. Regardless of whether you liked or disliked Michael Jackson’s music, or regardless of the fact that some months before he died many people thought he was a pedophile, when he died almost everyone felt something different; they felt a little sad and depressed. And most people around the world felt similarly. Knowing and seeing how others felt was like a multiplier effect.Liking: We are going to die, every single one of us. Such is life. This obvious idea is what makes us identify with a person who dies. We don’t always identify in the same way, but every time somebody dies around us we get this feeling. Further, the mirror neurons come into effect, when we identify with the person who has just died. We tend to be more empathetic, softer and kinder.Authority: Myths are built in death. It happens this way with famous painters, writers and even politicians. Death tends to make the principle of authority grow. When somebody dies, his or her personality reaches highest levels because we are more respectful with the dead. It could also be because of traditions or culture, but respect is a form of authority.Scarcity: There’s nothing in our whole life that creates more scarcity than death. When we die everything we could have said, made, painted or sung seems to be not enough. Life is short and limited. Before dying we can keep on painting, singing or doing whatever we please but from the moment of death it is no longer possible. And so there you have from my perspective, how we are all influenced by death. Death’s influence, like death itself, is unavoidable. Yago

 

Parenting Made Easier with Influence

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Today, December 6, is our daughter Abigail’s 15th birthday. I can still remember looking at her in the crib thinking, “I can’t believe she’s been with us a hundred days.” Wow, does time fly! In just over three years she’ll be heading off to college and no matter where you are in the world you might hear me crying because I’ll miss seeing her every day.

To say that raising Abigail has been one of the biggest joys in my life would be an understatement. The only person luckier than me will be the man who spends the rest of his life with her. She is beautiful, fun, intelligent, has a great sense of humor, thinks deeply, is athletic and so much more. Jane and I have been very fortunate because for the most part she’s been an easy kid to raise. However, I also know some of that ease has been due to good parenting and that’s the focus of this week’s post.

I’m no child psychologist or parenting expert by any means but I have learned enough about psychology to effectively use the principles of influence in the process of raising Abigail. I believe that’s been incredibly helpful so what I’d like to do is share a few things I’ve tried and hopefully it will stimulate some ideas for you.

Liking – It’s not our job to be Abigail’s friend but it’s no secret that if your kids like you they’ll be more apt to do what you ask. We go out of our way to make sure she knows how much she’s loved and that certainly helps us as parents. For a really good parenting idea check out my post on something we call Special Day.

Reciprocity – Most parents give kids an allowance and we’re no exception. An allowance however doesn’t engage reciprocity because it’s a reward, not a gift. To engage this principle you need to be the first to act.

One way I effectively used reciprocity this summer was to give Abigail a raise in her allowance before I asked anything of her. I didn’t say, “If you’ll cut the grass I’ll give you a raise,” because she would have declined (she hates cutting the grass!). What I did was give her a raise then about a week later asked her to cut the grass. She protested a little until I said, “Abigail, I gave you a raise in your allowance and didn’t ask you to do anything. Can’t you help me out?” She cut the grass.

Consensus – This one is always at play with teenagers but most of the time parents are fighting against it because of “peer pressure” and Jane and I are no different. Rather than go into detail on on how we’ve handle the pressure to conform I’ll refer you to the post I wrote on helping teens deal with peer pressure.

Authority – It’s always good to have an outside expert come to your aid. One situation that comes to mind is eating dinner together. It’s become all too common for families to not eat dinner together and when they do it’s often in front of the television. I won’t tell you we eat together every night but we do most evenings because we know it’s a great way to stay connected. Referring to a simple fact from an expert, like most happy families eat together, helps deflect the common question, “Can’t we eat in front of the TV?”Here’s a funny, but not totally ethical, story. When Abigail was very little she didn’t like certain foods and our pleading with her didn’t help. One day Jane acted like Abigail’s doctor was on the phone. As soon as she said, “Abigail, Dr. Klinger says you need to eat your vegetables,” she ate them. Not ethical but effective because even as a little girl she knew he was an authority.
Consistency – I spend a lot of time talking to Abigail and have ever since I can remember. When something we ask her to do goes well I make sure to point that out because it acts as a mile marker down the road. The reason I do that is because it makes the next request easier. For example, I can say, “Abigail, you know I love you right? And you know mom and I want you to be happy and have fun, right? Last time we asked you to do [fill in the blank] it turned out well, didn’t it?” See where I’m going with this? I’ve built on a series of consistent “Yes” responses to get her buy-in. She knows we love her, that we want her to enjoy life and know we’ve given good advice in the past. Reminding her of those things makes it easier for her to say “Yes” to whatever we’re asking of her currently.
Scarcity – We try not to pull the threat lever too often but that is a legitimate use of scarcity. As parents we’ve all had to say, “If you don’t [fill in the blank] you’ll lose the privilege to [fill in the blank].” I do think effectively using the other principles of influence greatly reduces the need to have those kinds of tough talks with your kids. One area I was able to use scarcity was with club volleyball last year. Abigail wasn’t big on the idea of playing but I let her know if she didn’t there was probably no way she’d make the high school team. Knowing she was going to a new school where she didn’t know anyone we all agreed being on the volleyball team would be a good way to start the high school experience. Although she would have rather done things other than club volleyball she went ahead and played.
Please don’t think that using the principles is a surefire guarantee to hear “Yes” every time because it’s not. What I can tell you with confidence is that your children will say “Yes” more often if you effectively use the principles of influence – and all of this is backed by science and the understanding of human psychology. I encourage you to give it a try. It’s made our lives easier and I know it can do the same for you.PS The reason for the 4:38 AM post this week is because that’s exactly when Abigail came into the world 15 years ago. Happy Birthday Abigail, Love Dad!!
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World – Anti-Social Proof

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World post is from Yago De Marta. If you’ve followed along in this series then you know Yago hails from Spain and travels quite often to Latin America. He is a public speaking coach and media trainer with much of his work centering on politicians and businessmen. You can connect with Yago on Facebook and LinkedIn.Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Anti-Social ProofEvery single day we see examples of the power of influence of social proof. As we are surrounded by people it is logical to think social proof is the principle of influence that occurs more often, widely and systematically in society. We strive to dress differently and end up dressing just like everyone else. We try to be independent and then just listen to the same music that millions of others do. We look for reasons to justify our support for our football team or our political party, but in the end, in all these activities lies the power of social proof in a persistent and powerful way.No matter how high we build the buildings; no matter how beautiful our musical compositions are and no matter if one day we are able to unravel the mysteries of the atom we are animals. Remember that – we are animals. So we learn something while we watch a group of monkeys or the organization of ants. In this sense it is worth noting the work of a Mexican that has been going on for more than ten years in California. There Cesar Millan rehabilitates dogs with problems. To look beyond their training sessions is a lesson of the continued use of Reciprocity, Consistency, Liking, Scarcity, and Authority. But what catches my attention most is the therapeutic use of Social Proof.
All of this reminds me of the examples shown in Robert Cialdini’s book Influence Science and Practice about the process of overcoming phobias. In the case of Cesar Millan, he uses the pack (the group) to rehabilitate dogs. It’s curious to see it especially with the more contentious dogs. Cesar introduces a dog to the pack and the new dog gradually learns the correct behavior with the strength of the group. The process is more than observation and learning. The process is more like entering into a large wave that pushes you and your attempts to resist beyond.We know from Millan’s pack example that social proof is powerful, but what is its limit? If we define a perfect environment to implement this principle it would not be unusual to choose the following:

– Number: The number of people determines the power of influence.- Time: The more exposure the greater the influence of the group.- Context: When the group is joined by the historical time and perfect place the greater the influence.- Authority: When group has an Authority reference the influence is increased.

Let’s shift gears now and look at probably the most important example of “Anti-Social Proof” in history. This is a tribute to all who have ever been able to resist and get out of the wave. These are the people who write our history!August Landmesser was a worker in Blohm und Voss shipyard in Hamburg, Germany. In 1931 he had joined the NSDAP (National Socialist German Workers Party) hoping to get a job through their membership of the party. In 1938 he was taken prisoner by the Gestapo, who condemned him for “Rassenschande.” Article 2 of the Law for the Protection of German Blood and Honor. That article prohibits the extra-marital sexual relations between Jews and Germans. In 1935, his request for marriage to a woman was rejected due to the Jewish origin of the future wife of August. After several trials, Landmesser was finally sentenced to two and half years of hard labor in the concentration camp Börgermoor. August Landmesser became known in history because of a photograph in which he is seen with his arms crossed. It was at the christening of the boat (now a school) of the German navy Horst Wessel in 1936. That day, the Fuehrer Adolf Hitler was present at Hamburg, when August refused to greet him as the thousands of comrades who worked in the shipyards did.
In early 1941 August was forced to work in factory that produced cars for the army. After that he was forced to join the I Battalion “999.” From the end of that year forward there was never any news about him. Maybe he died in one of the battles in which the battalion participated.The lesson we get is this: Maybe we are surrounded by thousands of people; maybe we are supposed to act like the rest; maybe we are inside the perfect wave (the perfect backdrop) but we always have the ability to choose our behavior, we always have the last autonomous capacity to decide and break against the wave instead of riding along with it.August took his decision at the time of history where Social Proof and Authority were not known as Principles of Influence. They were the law and he could find the force among the thousands of people around him.
However, it is worth reflecting on the importance of the number of people. With so many people around, he felt protected as it was difficult to notice him. That is, it is assumed that if there had been a dozen or so people around him he would have raised his harm. If you are interested in learning more about this story visit these sites:http://www.fasena.de/courage/english/5a.htm
http://www.freiburger-rundbrief.de/de/?item=545 Yago

Don’t Live in “Scare City” this Christmas

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Yes, it’s mid October and I’m already writing about Christmas. Ho, Ho, Ho, the only surprise might be that I’ve not written about it sooner. I’m not sure what stores are like where you live but around Columbus, Ohio mega-malls are big business and very soon you’ll see Christmas on display. What this means in many cases are great deals to lure shoppers into the stores early. In the retail war the initial battle is to win your attention. “Battle” is not too strong a word because according to Dawn Hudson, Senior VP Marketing at Pepsi, “The average American receives more than 3,000 marketing messages a day!”
So how can a marketer help a retailer stand out from the crowd? A favorite tactic of marketers is to utilize the principle of scarcity to motivate you to get off the couch and visit the store. Scarcity is the term we use to describe the psychological response where people tend to place more value on things when they believe those things are rare or dwindling. If you’re wondering why this is used any more than other methods that’s because it works primarily on the subconscious level. In his book Influence Science and Practice Robert Cialdini describes our almost automatic response as a “click whir” phenomenon.
A while ago a friend at work who sat in on my influence training stopped by to give me an advertisement that caught his eye. He was aware of the influence approach Bed, Bath and Beyond took in this mailer his wife received.

The 20% coupon isn’t much different than most retailers. What was different with this one was the call to action: The Sooner You Use it the More it’s Worth! By using the coupon right away you save 20%, but if you wait it’s only worth 10% later. I think that approach is creative for a couple of reasons.

First, the ad incorporates the compare and contrast phenomenon. Most things only have value, or make sense in relation to other things. For example, if I offer you $20 you’re probably pretty happy. But, I’m willing to bet if I offer you $10, then change my mind and give you $20 instead, you’re much happier than having been offered $20 straight up. Why? Simple, now my offer is twice as much as you originally thought you were going to get. If you don’t believe me try it with a few people sometime and see how they react.

The second element of the ad that works well is how it incorporates scarcity. If you don’t use the mailer now it’s only worth half as much later. On the back of the mailer you would have seen the recipient had four full weeks to save 20% on one item, then four more weeks to save 10% on a single item. Something about that seems more motivating to me than a straight up use it or lose it approach.

Pay attention as the Christmas ad bombardment begins. Not only will you see scarcity applied, you’ll see consensus too. After all, if everyone is buying a certain gift you’re kids will probably want that same item too. But if you don’t hurry you might just miss that golden opportunity so get it soon for your kid’s sake! Seriously, there may be great deals and some items might truly be limited but with your eyes open to how retailers are trying to motivate you at least you can pause, think and make the best decision, instead of an impulsive one.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

An Exercise in Awareness

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Click on the picture below to watch a short YouTube video
then we’ll continue on.

If you’re like most people you were probably floored by all that went on in the video that you missed! I know I was first time I watched it. The video is a great exercise in awareness and focus.

I have to confess, I’m not always the most aware guy and this occasionally bites me in my marriage. Many years ago I went to a “gallery hop” art show with my wife. Not exactly my cup of tea but I was trying to be the dutiful husband and act interested. When I saw a painting style I recognized (Monet) I said to Jane, “We have a painting by that guy don’t we?” She said, “We have that painting.” Surprised I replied, “Really?” Jane proceeded to tell me the painting was at the top of the stairs in our house…and had been there about three years! Ooops! Better keep my mouth closed next time.One of my favorite questions to ask when training is this, “Has anyone bought a new car in the past couple of years?” As you would expect there are usually several people who raise their hand. Then I pick someone for a simple follow up question, “What kind of car did you get?”Let’s suppose they say, “I bought a Ford Mustang.” Next I’ll ask, “After you bought the car, did you notice more Mustangs on the road in the days and weeks following your purchase?” You know the answer to that question, a resounding yes. I’ve never had someone tell me they didn’t notice their new car on the road more after getting it.What do you suppose changed? Could it be that there just happened to be a rush on Mustangs at that moment in time? Of course not! The only thing that changed was the buyers’ awareness of that type of car. I use that simple truth to get them to realize they get what they look for.How does this tie into influence? In two basic ways. First, your lack of awareness when it comes to the principles of influence means you’re missing opportunities that could help you hear that one word we all long for when making requests of other people – “Yes!”The more you come to understand the principles of reciprocity, liking, consensus, authority, consistency, and scarcity the more you’ll become aware of all the opportunities to ethically use them when interacting with people. With enough practice you’ll even find yourself using them almost without thinking.The second way awareness ties into influence is protection. That’s right, protection. Let’s face it, there are lots of people out there who understand this stuff but may not be constrained by ethics. I bet every one of you reading this can think of a time where a salesman manipulated you to buy something. Or maybe unethical influence was used on you by someone who took advantage of you in a relationship. What do you think about politicians and manipulation?My point is this; there are many people out there whose livelihood depends on getting you and others like you to say yes. It’s a sad fact that many more than we’d like to admit will do whatever they can to move ahead. Your understanding of the principles of influence is a first line of defense from being taken advantage of.I hope this was an enlightening little experiment for you; an “ah ha” moment perhaps. If you continue to read Influence PEOPLE I guarantee your eyes will be open to new possibilities and you’ll be more aware when it comes to those who seek to take advantage of you. Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”

Explaining the Spread of Urban Legends

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Did you know syringes have been found in the ball pits at McDonalds? I knew I should have taken the kids to Burger King…except that Burger King guy on those commercials is really creepy!
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST: for a friend of a friend of a friend…Kayala Scott’s 22-month old son shot himself in the chest with a nail gun…I guess that means no more family outings to Home Depot or Lowes.Mr. Rogers was a Marine sharpshooter with numerous kills in Vietnam! No wonder it was a beautiful day in his neighborhood…everyone was scared to death of him!I hope you know none of the above is true. They’re all urban legends; stories that spread spontaneously in various forms. While they’re almost always false far too many people believe them to be true and that’s part of the reason why they live on.You might be reading this with some embarrassment because you’ve passed on one or more of these stories in days gone by to others via email. I’ll make you feel a little better and ‘fess up that I forwarded some of these types of email in the early days of the Internet. I’d like to take a moment to explain some of the psychology about why these stories live on.
First, consider who typically sends these to you – someone you know. If your best friend, neighbor or a relative sends you and email with this kind of news the principle of liking is engaged. We tend to trust those we know and like so when a friend sends you a story, no matter how far out is sounds, most people immediately give them the benefit of the doubt and believe there’s some truth to it. And when a friend asks you to pray and pass along a well meaning email to others the liking principle compels many people to help the cause.It doesn’t take too many forwarded emails to keep it going either. If you get an email and pass it along to a couple dozen friends and only four pass it to another couple dozen and four of those people forward it…by the time that goes through seven iterations it could be passed along to more than 16,000 people!Seeing all those names on an email triggers another psychological principle of influence — consensus. Sometimes known as social proof, consensus tells us people look to others for cues on how to act in certain situations. When you see all those email addresses because the email has been forwarded multiple times it’s natural to assume there’s some validity to what’s being shared. All those names prompt people to continue the behavior.I’m sure many of you reading this are thinking to yourself, “I don’t pass that stuff along anymore.” Good for you but it’s undeniable that others still do and, as I shared earlier, if just four people out of two dozen keep it going it can spread faster than the flu virus through your office or your kid’s school.How can you slow down these kinds of unwanted emails? It’s pretty simple actually. Visit a site to see if what you just got has any validity. Here are just a few sites that can help you. Once you get to a site just do a search on some key words from the email.
Snopes.com UrbanLegends.com Scambusters.org If you find out it’s a hoax hit the Reply All button and politely let your friend know what they shared isn’t true and give the website where you found out. Let them know you got drawn into something similar before and don’t want to see them make the same mistake.A word of caution: whatever you do, don’t lay the person to waste! Once when I passed along a well meaning email about a prayer need someone fired back at me in a pretty harsh way. There’s no place for that, particularly when the email was well intended. Approach the person as you’d like to be approached and as Dale Carnegie encouraged, allow the other person to save face. Do that and you’ll slow the spread of unwanted email and preserve a friendship.Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.