Tag Archive for: consistency

Ardbeg Scotch and The Green Bay Packers: What do They Have in Common?

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“There’s a special rung in hell reserved for
people who waste good scotch.” If you saw the movie Inglorious Bastards, you might recall that quote. A good friend
introduced me to scotch a little over a year ago. I’d never tried the drink
before but was willing to give it a try when he brought a bottle to my home. It
turns out Jane and I both liked it…a lot! It’s less filling than beer, doesn’t
make us sleepy like wine, and there’s an amazing variety of different scotches
to choose from.
This post isn’t about the virtues of scotch or
an attempt to convert anyone. Rather it’s about an interesting marketing ploy.
There’s a well-known scotch called Ardbeg, which boasts a very
peaty flavor. The distillery first began producing whisky in 1798 but
eventually closed its doors in 1981. Limited production started up again in
1989 and continued through 1996. Full production resumed in 1997.
When I bought my first bottle I noticed the
distillery had an Ardbeg Committee, which I could join if I was so inclined.
Out of curiosity I decided to fill out the paperwork. Eventually I received my
committee membership. A few persuasive principles were at play here:
First, they shared a compelling story about
the history of the distillery. People are drawn to stories, particularly those
that have to do with overcoming adversity. Ardbeg’s long history, closure and
reopening made for a compelling story.
When I became a committee member the principleof consistency was engaged. We like to behave in consistent ways so it’s only
natural a committee member will probably buy more Ardbeg than some other brand.
Not all scotch drinkers are committee members
so the exclusivity taps into scarcity. I’m not a committee member for any other
scotch so it’s special community for me and the other 60,000+ committee members.
This is an example of very clever marketing to
revive a once struggling brand and build loyalty. The approach reminds me
somewhat of the professional football team The Green Bay Packers. Unlike all the
other pro sports franchises, the Packers will never leave Green Bay because of
the business decision of an owner or group of owners, as has occurred with many
other NFL teams. You see, the Packers are owned by the fans. Their stock has no
appreciating value, pays no dividends and cannot be sold or traded like other
stocks but all the fans care about is this – they are all part owners of one of
the most storied franchises in all of football.
More than 110,000 people own nearly 4.8 million shares.
Maybe you don’t want to own the team, just go
to the games. Season tickets for the team have sold out every year since 1960!
Currently there’s a waiting list of more than 81,000 names to become a season
ticket holder! This is Green Bay, Wisconsin, not some big city or exotic get
away destination, and people are registering kids at birth to get tickets.
Green Bay fans are … fanatical!
A good product isn’t always enough when it
comes to making the sale and that’s where persuasion comes in. How you talk
about your product or service and how you position it makes a BIG difference.
Limited availability (scarcity), and a sense of belonging and community
(commitment) go a long way toward impacting our decisions and behaviors. So
take a lesson from Ardbeg and the Packers and see if you can create something
special for your customers and prospective customers when it comes to you and
your product or service.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

 

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

PAVE the Way to Success in 2015

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If you’re like many people then you’ll be
making New Year’s resolutions in a few days and if you’re like most of those
same people you’ll be breaking your resolutions within a few days. According to
one study, more than half the people who make resolutions are confident of
achieving them, yet barely more than 10% do so. That’s amazing because most
resolutions are good ones! Here are a some of the most popular New Year’s
resolutions: 
  • Spend more time with family
  • Lose weight
  • Begin exercising
  • Quit smoking
  • Quit drinking
  • Get organized
  • Get out of debt

The list is admirable so why are these goals
so difficult to achieve for 90% of us? There are probably as many reasons as
there are resolutions and dwelling on them wouldn’t be as beneficial as giving
you scientifically proven ideas that can help make 2015 a year of positive
change for you. Around this time every year I share an influence technique that
can help readers PAVE the way to success in the New Year.
In the study of persuasion there’s a powerful
motivator of behavior known as the principle of consistency. This proven
rule tells us people feel internal and external psychological pressure to act
in ways that are consistent with their prior actions, words, deeds, beliefs and
values. When we act in consistent ways we feel better about ourselves and other
people perceive us in a more favorable light.
There are four simple things you can tap into
in order to strengthen the power of consistency in your life. These simple
ideas will help you PAVE the way to success because they’ll dramatically
increase the odds that you’ll follow through on your New Year’s resolutions.
Public – Whenever you make a public statement,
whether verbally or in writing, you’re putting yourself and your reputation on
the line. The mere fact that another person knows your intention and might ask
you how you’re doing is often enough motivation for people to follow through.

Recommendation #1 – Share with another person
or group of people, your New Year’s resolution and ask them to hold you
accountable.

Active – You have to actively do something.
Merely thinking about a resolution, just keeping it to yourself as some sort of
secret, will lead to the same results as people who don’t make any resolutions.
In other words, nothing will change. This came to light in a study with a group
of students who wanted to improve their college grades. One group was asked to
write their goals down, one group kept their goals in their heads, and the last
group had no specific goal whatsoever. As you can imagine, the group with the
written goals succeeded, with nearly 90% of students increasing by a full
letter grade! With the other two groups the results were identical and poor. In
each group fewer than 1 in 6 students improved a full letter grade. It’s worth
noting, they were all given the same study materials so they all had the same
opportunity to better their GPA. 

Recommendation #2 – Make sure you have to take
some active steps. It could be as simple as buying a book to help you learn
more about the changes you’re hoping to make or writing them down. 

Voluntary – This has to be YOUR goal, not
someone else’s goal for you. If you’re trying to do something – quit smoking,
lose weight, get in shape – it’s not likely your motivation will last if
someone told you to do it. The goal has to come from you because if it’s forced
on you it’s not likely your willpower will last long. Samuel Butler said it
best when he wrote, “He who complies against his will is of the same opinion
still.” 

Recommendation #3 – Make sure it’s something
you really want to do of your own free choice. 

Effort – It was already noted that you have to
actively do something. In other words, making the commitment should require
some effort on your part. The more effort you expend setting up your goal, the
more likely you are to succeed. Something as simple as writing down your
resolution can make a difference, even if you don’t share it with anyone. But,
taking the time to share it also fulfills the public requirement, which gives
you more bang for the buck! Robert Cialdini puts it this way, “People live up
to what they write down.” 

Recommendation #4 – A little more effort, like
committing pen to paper, will increase your chance for success significantly. 

So to recap the four recommendations: 

Public – Share your resolutions with others. 

Active – Make sure to take some active steps.

Voluntary – Make it your goal. 

Effort – Commit pen to paper. 

None of what I just shared is new but I’m
guessing many of you haven’t tried the PAVE approach before. If you’ve failed
at your resolutions in the past then give this approach a try. If you fail
again you’re no worse off but this different approach might just be your key to
success in 2015. Good luck and Happy New Year to all of you!
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Better America for Ferguson and All Americans

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By now everyone in the nation and most people around the world have heard about Ferguson, Mo. The death of Michael Brown and the grand jury decision not to indict officer Darren Wilson touched off protests that quickly turned into violent riots. Whether or not officer Wilson was justified in shooting Michael Brown, one thing is certain, the events of that day and the grand jury decision blew the lid off of racial tensions that have been simmering for decades.

Unfortunately for those who want to see real societal change when it comes to race, their efforts have only been set back by the riots, violence and looting that have occurred in the aftermath in Ferguson. It’s unfortunate because those who committed the acts, predominantly teens and young adults, probably don’t care about change as much as they did an opportunity to cause mayhem and steal.

When significant change took place regarding race in this country a few notable things occurred. First, in the 1960s, Americans were horrified at the treatment of blacks in the South as they watched the news and saw non-violent protestors attacked by police dogs and sprayed with fire hoses. The key was the protests were non-violent and the people didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and it repulsed most Americans.

A second, and more powerful change agent was the leader of the civil rights movement, Dr. Martin Luther King. Dr. King had a vision and a strategy that moved people to action that couldn’t be ignored. And like Mahatma Gandhi, he knew non-violence was the key.

Those two things are needed today for real change to take place. African Americans need the entire country to see the mistreatment that routinely takes place and to understand how their opportunities are much more limited than most Americans because of racial bias.

Most importantly they need a leader who can rally them as Dr. King did. Without a respected leader their movement will fail. Despite using social media to rally people, the March on Wall Street and We are the 99% movements ultimately failed because of lack of leadership. Couple that with the reality that news cycles are so much faster and people quickly forget the latest “big” story. Think about it for a moment; when was the last time you heard about the March on Wall Street or the We are the 99% movements? I can’t think of the last time either was in the news. More importantly, did any substantive change take place? No.

My personal opinion is current leaders such as Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can’t fill the leadership role because of their contentious pasts and current public perception. Even President Barack Obama will be too polarizing to lead this cause when he leaves the White House, in my opinion.

Someone who I believe could fill that role is former General Colin Powell. He has the admiration of all Americans because of his long service to our country and his conduct as an individual. He knows how to lead, strategize, compromise, and deal with the media. He commands the kind of respect that makes people in this nation and around the world listen.

And let’s not fool ourselves into thinking the violence is only a black issue. A brief scan of history will show other groups have been involved in violent protests. For example, in New York City, the Irish (my ancestors) rioted during the Civil War when the draft was instituted. They didn’t want to go to war to free the slaves and felt the influx of blacks moving to the North would hurt their employment opportunities. One hundred people died during the New York riots. Another example comes by way of sports where we see people of all color celebrating then rioting in the streets after their teams win National Championships, World Series and Super Bowls.

But Ferguson was different because the violence we witnessed not only hurt the cause in Ferguson, it hurt the community and ultimately its citizens. Looting, damaging and destroying local businesses will put many in the community out of business for good and some jobs will be permanently lost. In an area with high unemployment they simply can’t afford that.

So, what are some influence tips to bring about change? Here are a few quick thoughts.

Rather than focus on differences, African Americans could focus on what they have in common with the rest of the nation, which is an application of the principle of liking. They need to talk about how they are mothers and fathers like many of you reading this. They’re also sons and daughters. They must remind America they want the same thing we all do – a chance at the American Dream. This should be the norm, not the exception in their communities.

Look for ways to give instead of just asking for change. By giving you engage reciprocity and people will be more inclined to give when you ask. Perform acts of kindness, volunteer in the community and encourage people to go out of their way to help others, especially those who are difference. Kindness is hard to ignore.

A strong leader like Colin Powell would engage the principle of authority because he possesses both expertise and trustworthiness when it comes to leading. Neither Al Sharpton nor Jesse Jackson has the trust of enough Americans to qualify to lead at this time.

The cause has to be bigger that just African Americans. According to U.S. Census statistics, African Americans make up slightly less than 13% of the population. Hispanics and Latinos are more than 16%. Together 30% of the population can’t be ignored. By focusing on change for all minorities and reaching out to sympathetic whites they can engage consensus. The more the average American sees the groundswell of support, similar to what’s happened with gay marriage, the more will get onboard.

Consistency is engaged by reminding all of us about the truths we hold to be self-evident in The Declaration of Independence; that all people are created equal and deserve equal opportunities. By pointing out where the system fails in this regard, it reminds us of our duty as Americans to make this a reality for all people.

The last principle to engage is scarcity. What does this country stand to lose by not affording more opportunities and fair treatment for all? We’re a nation of immigrants. Without people of all races, both genders and each nationality, we would not be the great country we are. If we limit those opportunities we limit ourselves.

Let me conclude with this. A big part of my desire to use this forum for this message comes from the fact that my best friend for nearly 40 years is African America. Russell Barrow was my best man when I got married and again when I renewed my wedding vows. You would be hard pressed to meet a nicer, more caring, giving individual than Russell. My daughter Abigail has always called him “Uncle Russell.” I’ve heard his stories of dealing with racism and seen some firsthand. In addition to Russell, I’ve had the opportunity to befriend many other African Americans through work. They’re wonderful people! For them, their families and future generations I want to see a better America and that won’t come about without change.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World – One Great Question to Ask: Lessons from Marshall Goldsmith and Patrick Lencioni

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This month the “Influencers from Around the
World” post comes all the way from South Korea thanks to Hoh Kim. Hoh and I met
in Arizona early 2008 when we went through training together to earn our Cialdini
Method Certified Trainer designations. To learn more about Hoh visit his
website, The Lab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. You can also find Hoh on
Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
One Great Question to Ask: Lessons from 
Marshall
Goldsmith and Patrick Lencioni
How you communicate your weaknesses can define
whether you’re trustworthy or not, according to Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the
world’s foremost expert on the science of influence. Without trustworthiness,
we cannot have true authority in the eyes of others. Many leadership experts
also express a similar concept.
Everyone talks about the importance of trust.
But, do we know how to act to build trust as a leader? Patrick Lencioni, the
author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,
shared some excellent insight. According to Lencioni, when we use the word
“trust,” it normally means “predictable trust.” For example; I know one of my
team members will do a good job, as she or he has been a good performer in the
past. However, Lencioni suggested that leaders should practice what he called
“vulnerability-based trust.” Leaders cannot be strong in every aspect, which
means they also have weaknesses. Leaders should first know what their
weaknesses are, and they should feel comfortable disclosing them to their team.
Leaders shouldn’t be defensive. Instead Lencioni wrote, “In essence, teammates
must get comfortable being vulnerable with one another.”
Everyone talks about the importance of
feedback in developing people. However, Marshall Goldsmith, one of the noted
experts in leadership development, emphasized the importance of “feedforward.”
Feedback is about your behavior in the past and feedforward is about suggestions
for the future behavior. Feedback is in the rear view mirror, while feedforward
is looking into the windshield. To drive your car you have to pay attention to
windshield, what lay ahead, not the rear view mirror, which only shows what is
behind.
We all have areas of improvement in our
workplace. If you could choose one area for improvement over the next year,
what will it be? Better listening? Faster decision-making? Better emotional
management? Whatever it is, acknowledge your weaknesses to your team members.
You won’t be seen as a loser. If you stay in your weaknesses you might be
viewed as a loser but when you acknowledge a weakness candidly, and ask for feedforward
from your members and colleagues, you will be seen as a more trustworthy
individual.
When you acknowledge weaknesses and ask for feedforward
you make a public commitment to improve. By utilizing the principle of consistency, one of the Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence, you will
have a better chance to actually experiencing progress.
How do you ask for feedforward? Take the
Marshall Goldsmith’s advice and simply say, “I want to be better at (listening,
for example). How can I be a better listener?” If your colleagues suggest
something, don’t defend yourself, just respond with a sincere, “Thank you.”
As we approach the end of 2014, it is a good
idea to practice feedforward with you wife, husband, or significant others. Do
you want to be a better spouse? Let me share one of my secrets to be a better spouse.
Once a year I ask to my wife, “Honey, how can I be a better husband? What can I
do better to be a better husband?” So far, my wife has never asked me to buy her
things like a diamond ring or luxury clothing or high-end handbags. She just
loves to be asked.
Hoh Kim, CMCT® 
Founder, Head Coach & Lead Facilitator,
THE LAB h

www.THELABh.com

Make Requests Like a Persuasion Expert

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Persuasion is all about moving people to action. Aristotle defined it as “the art of getting someone to do something they would not ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” The bottom line when  it comes to persuasion is getting someone to do something. How we communicate can make all the difference between a “Yes” or “No” response.

Most of the time people are directive, telling instead of asking, when they want something. For example:

  • Clean your room.
  • Fax me the authorization form.
  • Get me the sales numbers.

Each request is direct and to the point. The communication may be clear but unfortunately people don’t like to be told what to do. And none of the statements above requires a response, which means the recipient of the message might hear what’s being said but think to himself or herself, “No” without ever having to say it.

Each of us makes requests of people daily, and the science of influence tells us with certainty there are better ways to structure our communication if we want to hear “Yes” more often. If you want to make a request like a persuasion expert follow this simple formula:

R = W + T + B + R + D

Request = What + Timeframe + Because + Reason + Downside

Here’s an example using the formula: Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment by several more days?

A number of persuasive techniques are used in the example above so let’s dissect each part.

“Would you” – Adding these two words turns the statement into a question and engages the principle of consistency. A question like this demands a response and once someone says “Yes,” the likelihood they’ll do what you want has gone up significantly.

“by this afternoon” – These three words ensure you’ll get what you want within a timeframe that’s acceptable to you instead of being left to chance. If someone says they can’t get it within the allotted time you can engage reciprocity. Immediately upon hearing no, if you put out a new timeframe (i.e., How about by tomorrow afternoon?) your odds of hearing “Yes” have just gone up because most people are willing to meet us part way after we’ve first conceded a little bit.

“because” – One study showed a 50% increase in “yes” responses when a request was tagged with “because” and a reason was given. This even worked when the reason was bogus! We’re conditioned from childhood to almost mindlessly do what we’re told when “because” is used. Do you remember your parents ever saying, “Because I said so!” in response to your asking why you had to do something? We’ve all been there and maybe you’ve used that phrase yourself.

“I can’t proceed any further on your claim, which will delay your payment” – This invokes the principle of scarcity. People are much more motivated by the thought of losing something as opposed to gaining the same thing. In this instance the person knows they won’t be paid until they’ve done what’s being asked. This is much more effective than saying, “As soon as I get it, I’ll proceed on the claim, and you’ll get paid.”

Once more compare the two requests for the same thing:

Fax me the authorization form.

vs.

Would you get me the authorization form by this afternoon
because without it I can’t proceed any further on your claim,
which will delay your payment?

Next time you need something from someone, or you need them to do something remember to structure your request by asking instead of telling. Let them know what you want and when you need it by. Tag your request with “because” and a legitimate reason. Finally, let them know what happens if they don’t do what’s asked…the downside. Follow this simple approach and you’re sure to hear “Yes” more often.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – A Short Course in Human Relations

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This month our Influencers from Around the World guest post comes from someone who is familiar to long-time readers of Influence PEOPLE – Anthony McLean. Anthony is Australia’s one and only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT®). He heads up the Social Consulting Group where he teaches people about the principles of influence. I encourage you to reach out to Anthony on LinkedIn and Twitter to learn more from him.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 
 
A Short Course in Human Relations
A past participant of the
Principles of Persuasion Workshop sent me the important message below. His name
is Peter, and he pointed out “There’s
plenty of ‘POP’ in this.” Of course
he was right.
Let’s break it down one line at a
time and let me show you why there is so much of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s
Principles of Persuasion in this short piece.
The six
most important words – I admit that I was wrong.
In the Principles of Persuasion Workshop we teach the Principle of
Authority which says we look to those with extra knowledge or
wisdom on a topic to guide our thinking when we are not sure what we should do.
As part of being an Authority you must be seen as credible and one of the most
important elements to being credible is being trustworthy. If I was to try to take
advantage of you, I would never admit a mistake, let you know I got something
wrong or was lacking in some area of my product or service. But an Authority never hides from weaknesses. They
admit when they are wrong. Why? Because they know how to make it better. So remember,
it’s a mistake to hide a mistake. Admit it, and admit it quickly, then set
about explaining how you intend to make it right. If you don’t, one of your
competitors will highlight it and then your credibility is gone.
The Five
most important words – You did a great job.
Everybody likes to be told they
have done a great job. These five simple words go a long way to triggering the Principle of Liking. Praise is something
that when given genuinely and selectively is a truly valuable tool in building,
repairing and maintaining relationships with others. Therefore don’t throw
praise around all of the time so it becomes common and of little substance. Give
your praise when it is deserved, make it specific and give it genuinely. If at
work delivering praise directly is inappropriate consider influencing the
influencers and deliver the praise indirectly to the person’s boss, colleague
or friends and allow them to deliver the message for you.
The four
most important words – What do you think?
On the face of it you may ask, how
does this question relate to persuasion? The answer is, all too often people
make statements but they don’t ask questions. Firstly this is poor form because
it is more aligned to ordering rather than engaging and, secondly, when you
make statements you remove one very important element from the interaction –
the ability of someone to commit to something. The Principle of Consistency says we encounter
personal and interpersonal pressure to remain consistent with previous
commitments or decisions we have made. If you ask me a question and allow me to
answer, it provides me the opportunity to make a commitment; publicly voicing
my ideas and actively committing toward a course of action. In your next
meeting, think about the questions you ask. Craft well-constructed questions
and give others the opportunity to answer them. Telling someone what to do or
making statements does nothing to engage their intrinsic motivators to drive
the situation forward.
The three
most important words – Could you please…
This line is an interesting one,
firstly because the Principle of Reciprocity says we are obliged to
give back to those who have given to us first. A nuance to the principle is, if
you are struggling to build a relationship with someone, ask him or her to do
you a favor. In doing so they need to have a shift in thinking because we don’t
do things for people we don’t like.  Therefore
by asking them to do you a favor moves them in your direction ever so slightly and
allows for a relationship to commence.
The second point I would make is
to refine the statement. “Could you” and “Can you” are permission statements.
They seek to gain permission or acknowledgement. The problem is if I say to my eight-year-old
son, “Could you clean up your room?” and he says, “Yes,” is he actually
committing to clean his room or is he just saying, “Yes I can, but no I won’t.”?
Therefore in seeking to gain a
commitment to trigger the Principle of Consistency. ask people active questions
that gain a commitment such as “Will you…” then wait for the answer.
The two
most important words – Thank you.
Thanking someone is not only
polite, it’s an important element in building and maintaining healthy
relationships. Therefore when someone does something that you appreciate be
sure to tell them and acknowledge their contributions. Doing so invests in the
relationship and can trigger the Principle of Reciprocity.
The other thing is when someone
thanks you for something you have done you must learn to accept genuine thanks
differently. If someone delivers a heartfelt thank you and you say “no problem”
or “I would have done it for anyone” you are devaluing the relationship. You
are in effect saying, “You are not that important to me and neither is this
relationship.”
Therefore, from now on listen for
genuine thanks from others and recognise it as an opportunity to acknowledge
the relationship you have and highlight that it is not over. Anything you say
will be better than “no problem,” but you must do a better job of accepting
thanks when it is genuinely given.
The most
important word – We.
The fastest and easiest way to
describe a relationship is through the pronoun “we.” It highlights you are
working together and you have things in common. Listen to when people use “we”
in a conversation and they may just tell you when they start to see you are in
a functional, working relationship with them, all through the use of the word
“we.”
One word of warning though; don’t
use “we” too early in a relationship or with someone you have just met to
describe the two of you – it can come off as not genuine and a tactic rather
than a true reflection of your relationship with the person. Let the
relationship build and use “we” when appropriate to do so.
The least
important word – I.
The biggest mistake I see when
reviewing emails, copy and websites for clients is the text is all about the
persuader and not about the person or group they are seeking to persuade. A
very simple test is to do a word search and see how many times you use “I” as
opposed to the other person’s name or even the words you, your or yours. If you
talk about yourself more than the other person or group of people you have
missed the mark.
The other thing is they should
always appear in your email before you do. I am not talking about their name in
the greeting but in the first line. If you start off with,

Hi Brian,

I want to
write you about the new product I am bringing to the market….

This is wrong – it’s all about
you. Instead put them and their needs first. Such as:

Hi Brian,

It was
great to have met you at the conference and to listen to your thoughts on the
new policy change impacting our organisation. You may be interested in a new
product we are launching. Based on your comments I think it will help you…..

Therefore for a bunch of short
sentences I will paraphrase my friend Peter and say, “There is a lot of POP in
them!”

 

Anthony McLean, CMCT

The 7 Most Common Persuasion Mistakes

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When I work with students in the Principles of Persuasion workshop we talk about three kinds of persuasion practitioners: bunglers, smugglers and detectives. Here’s a quick synopsis of each:

Detectives are folks who understand the principles of influence and look for genuine opportunities to use them in order to create a win for themselves as well as the person or people they seek to influence.

Smugglers are individuals who also have some understanding, but they look for shortcuts through manipulation. They find it easier to distort the truth or lie outright in their use of the principles of influence so they can get what they want no matter the cost to others.

Bunglers are people who don’t understand the persuasion process or principles and therefore miss opportunities to be more effective when it comes to persuasion. Or they might intuitively know a few things about the principles but don’t understand how to effectively use them. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people fall into this category, and they make predictable mistakes.In this post we’ll look at some of the most common mistakes people make when trying to persuade others. No offense, but if you find yourself doing these things, you’re bungling away persuasion opportunities.

  1. Validating undesirable behavior

There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in society. For example, too many kids try cigarettes and cheat in school; far too many people don’t vote; violent behavior seems to be on the rise, etc. When you talk about what many people are doing – consensus – you tend to validate the bad behavior. This can cause more people to do the very thing you’re preaching against! Instead, you want to point out good behavior you want people to emulate.

  1. Highlighting gain instead of loss.

I’ve shared in recent posts about homeowners who, when told about energy saving recommendations, were informed they would either save $180 by implementing the energy saving ideas or that they would lose $180 if they failed to implement the ideas, the latter of which is an application of the principle of scarcity. Everyone I share that study with correctly guesses more people in the “lose” group made the necessary changes. And they’re correct — 150% more people in the lose group chose to incorporate the energy saving ideas. Despite intuitively knowing this, most people still go out and talk about all the things someone will gain, or save, by going with their idea. Perhaps they fear coming across as negative but they’re failing to apply the most persuasive approach, and they won’t hear yes as often.

  1. Confusing contracts with reciprocity.

Reciprocity explains the reality that people feel obligated to return a favor. In other words, if I do something for you, you’ll feel some obligation to want to do something for me in return. An example would be as follows; I’ll do A and I hope you’ll do B in return. This is very different than entering into a contract – I’ll do A IF you’ll do B. Quite often you can engage reciprocity by doing or offering far less and still get the same behavior in return.

  1. Mixing up positional authority with perceived authority.

Believing you’re an authority is far different than other people perceiving you to be an authority. Sometimes others need to know your credentials. When people rely solely on their position to gain compliance it will never be as effective as it could be if they engaged people in the persuasion process by highlighting their credentials. It’s one thing for me to do something because the boss says so versus doing the very same thing because I see the value in doing so because an expert convinced me.

  1. Failing to connect on liking.

Effective persuasion has a lot to do with relationships built on the principle of liking. It’s not always enough that someone likes your product or service. Quite often the difference maker is whether or not they like you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a salesperson, manager or someone else, spending too much time describing ideas, products, services, etc., without getting the other person to like you is going to make persuasion harder. And here’s the gem – make sure you create time to learn a bit about the other person so you come to like them, and you’ll be amazed at the difference it can make!

  1. Telling instead of asking.

Telling someone what to do isn’t nearly as effective as asking because asking engages consistency. This principle tells us people feel internal psychological pressure as well as external social pressure to be consistent in what they say and do. By asking and getting a “Yes” the odds that someone will do what you want increase significantly. In the POP workshop we talk about a restaurant owner who saw no shows fall from 30% to just 10% by having the hostess go from saying, “Please call of you cannot make your reservation” to asking, “Will you please call if you cannot keep your reservation?” The first sentence is a statement but the second is a question that engages consistency.

  1. Failure to give a reason.

When you want someone to do something, giving a reason tagged with “because” can make all the difference. As I’ve share with State Auto claim reps, “Can you get me your medical records?” will not be as effective as “Can you get me your medical records because without them I cannot process your claim and pay you?” This approach was validated in a copier study where 50% more people (93% up from 60%) were willing to let someone go ahead of them in line when the person asking gave them a reason using the word “because.”

Conclusion

So, there you have some of the most common persuasion mistakes. By pointing them out hopefully you’ll change your ways if you’ve made these mistakes before. If you’ve not bungled like this then hopefully, you’ll
avoid these mistakes now that you’re aware of them.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

The Most Valuable Real Estate

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Living in Central Ohio, golf isn’t the first sport you think of, but thanks to legends like Jack Nicklaus, aka the “Golden Bear,” our courses are hidden gems scattered around Columbus and its suburbs.

As I reminisced at the Memorial Golf Tournament this year, a thought struck me—sometimes, the game’s outcome isn’t about the physical distance covered by the ball, but rather those crucial six inches between our ears.

Jack Nicklaus, who has won a record 18 majors, is not just a testament to physical skill but mental mastery. The real estate I’m talking about isn’t the fairway—it’s the mind. In golf, as in professional life, the true game unfolds in the mental landscape.

At this tournament, watching a pro miss a straightforward putt reminded me how each swing, each decision counts. The winner often surpasses the runner-up by a mere one or two strokes—a fraction of a percentage that decides victory. So, what makes the difference? It’s how one handles the mental pressure, the adverse moments.

The Mind: Your Battlefield for Influence

This concept translates seamlessly into persuasion, especially in professional settings where we’re often stuck in old patterns or firm beliefs. Here are a few tactics, drawing from the subtle art of persuasion, that can shift outcomes in your favor:

Liking: A simple, deserved compliment could be all it takes for someone to favor you more, increasing your persuasive pull.

Reciprocity: Small acts of genuine help can foster a sense of obligation, nudging others to return the favor, possibly aiding in your next project completion or deal closure.

Authority: Displaying credentials upfront enhances credibility, making your propositions more persuasive.

Social Proof: Mentioning what other people, those most similar to the person you’re talking to, are doing makes it easier for people to follow your lead.

Consistency: Encouraging someone to agree to small initial requests increases the likelihood they will stick to bigger commitments.

Scarcity: Highlighting the limited availability of an offer can spur action, a principle as effective in business as it is in psychology.

Winning with Ethical Influence

Understanding these principles doesn’t just potentially enhance your professional relationships and outcomes—it aligns with ethical influence, ensuring you’re respecting others’ autonomy and creating win-win scenarios. Like employing a sports psychologist may not guarantee a win every time, using these principles wisely isn’t about manipulation; it’s about improving your odds ethically.

Your mental agility plays a crucial role, not just in sports but in every professional interaction. Each conversation, each meeting is your playing field, and how you engage your mind determines whether you merely play the game or change it.

What methods do you find most effective for influencing change in your professional interactions?

Edited with ChatGPT and reposted 4/26/24

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Setting the Stage for the Up Front Close

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If you’re in sales, you can probably relate to the following scenario. You met with a prospective client and immediately had great rapport, which opened the door for you to compete for their business. You gathered the necessary information and provided them a better deal than they currently had. They asked for time to think it over and consider a couple of other quotes. Despite all the positive indicators, in a follow up phone call you learned they opted for another provider. You’re left wondering what you could have done differently to seal the deal.

Sound familiar? One way to reduce the odds of that happening is to engage the principle of consistency through a technique known as the “up front close.” Consistency is the principle of influence that tells us people feel internal psychological pressure and external pressure to be consistent in what they say and do. Getting someone to commit to you early on exactly what it will take to win their business is what the up-front-close is all about. It might look like this:

“Mr. Smith, I’d like to know exactly what it will take in order for you to move your business to our firm. If I can’t do something you require, I’ll let you know right away and save us both time. How does that sound?”

Your goal is to find out all the things you need to do for the customer in order for them to make the switch to your company. If you can’t meet the price, delivery date, service requirements, etc., then let the customer know and remove yourself from the sales process as soon as possible. If you think you can meet all the requirements, then go for it and use their requirements as leverage during the sales presentation.

During a recent coaching call a graduate of one of my Principles of Persuasion (POP) workshops asked how he could easily and naturally work his way into the up-front-close. That’s a great question because you don’t want to jump right into the up-front-close in the first five minutes of meeting a potential customer. It takes some finesse, but you can do it! Here’s how I would envision using questions in a natural, ethical manner to move into the up-front-close.

  • Salesperson – It looks as if business is going great and you seem like you’re very busy.
  • Customer – Never been busier but I suppose that’s a good thing in this economy!
  • Salesperson – Agreed, better too busy than not busy enough. With all that’s going on I’m going to guess saving time is pretty important for you.
  • Customer – You bet. I’m usually in here by 7 a.m. and rarely leave before 6 p.m. I even put in extra time on the weekends.
  • Salesperson – I have many days like that myself. If you’re like most people, I talk with buying insurance isn’t high on your list of fun activities. It’s not like planning a vacation or shopping for a new car. Knowing that, I have an idea that might save us both a good bit of time when it comes to your insurance. Would you like to hear it?
  • Customer – I’m all ears.
  • Salesperson – Since the insurance buying process is a necessity, I’m sure other agents are competing for your business. While that’s a good thing, you probably don’t want to deal with any more agents than you have to in order to complete the process, right?
  • Customer – Exactly. It’s a necessary evil and time consuming. That’s why we only put it out to bid every two or three years.
  • Salesperson – Here’s what I propose that could save us both time. I’d like to know exactly what it would take in order for you to move your business to our agency. If I can’t do something you require, I’ll let you know right away and remove myself from the quoting process and save us both time. How does that approach sound?
  • Customer – I think that’s a great approach.

From this point forward the salesperson has to use good questioning techniques to learn the key factors in the buying decision. The conversation should end something like this:

  • Salesperson – We’ve covered a lot of ground today! If I understand you correctly, we need to do A, B and C in order to become your new insurance agent. Am I correct?
  • Customer – That’s right, A, B and C are critical.
  • Salesperson – And there’s no other reason you wouldn’t make the switch if we do A, B and C?
  • Customer – Nope. You do those three things and we’re in business together.

If you return to the office and realize you can’t do all three just let the customer know right away. But if you can do all three that becomes you’re leverage to easily ask for the business when you present your proposal. Will everyone say “Yes” at that point? No, because sometimes things change. However, using this approach will get far more customers saying, “Yes” because the psychology of consistency drives them to naturally do that.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 
 

A Question is Like a Flashlight

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A former coworker and good friend Nancy Edwards shared an article from Southwest’s Spirit Magazine titled “Chasing Beautiful Questions.” In the article I came across a quote from Steve Quatrano of the Right Question Institute:

“A question is like a flashlight that we shine into the darkness, allowing us to move forward into the unknown and uncertain.”

I loved the analogy of a question being like a flashlight because it’s so memorable! I also like it because asking good questions is a big part of being an effective persuader.

When it comes to the principle of liking – it’s easier for us to say yes to those we know and like – questions are key to finding out what you have in common with another person. What we have in common with someone (similarities) is a proven way to engage the liking principle.

Think about people you know who are from your hometown, have the same pet you do, enjoy the same hobbies or root for the same sports team. Studies show it’s easier for them to like you AND it’s easier for you to like them. The end result is it makes it easier for them to say “Yes” to you.

You can learn these things a number of ways – ask people who know the person you want to persuade, Google them, check out Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. Or, when you’re with the other person you can shine the light of good questions to try and find out what you have in common so you can use those things to connect.

Good questions also come in handy when you want to engage the principle of consistency. This principle of influence explains the reality that people want to be consistent in what they say, do, believe, etc. Typically, people don’t resist their own values, attitudes and beliefs. If you know those things and can align your request to show the other person how what you’re asking lines up with those beliefs, values, attitudes, or past behaviors, it will be easier for them to say yes to whatever you’re asking.

In much the same way that you discover similarities you can discover these things to engage consistency. Talk to people who know the person you’re trying to persuade, do an online search, and look at Facebook or LinkedIn.

One last place questions come in handy is during the sales process, with scarcity. This principle highlights the truth that people respond more to what they might lose than what they might gain.

Telling someone what he or she might lose by not going with your suggestion is effective persuasion but there’s a better way. Asking questions that highlight potential loss is a much more effective persuasion strategy. For example, in my industry, insurance, an insurance agent might ask the following of a prospective customer if they discover some deficiency in their insurance program:

Agent – If you were to have a catastrophic loss, would you expect the insurance company to completely replace your building?

Prospective Client – Of course I would. That’s why I carry insurance.

Agent – I thought that would be the case, but the reality is you don’t carry enough insurance to fully replace your building. You’d have to pay more than $200,000 out of pocket. Did you know that?

Prospective Client – No, I thought I was fully covered!

By asking the right questions the agent is shining the light on a dark place, a place the customer had not considered.

When the customer voices what he wants that solidifies his desire even more. And this approach drives home the potential loss much more than the agent telling him what he might lose.

So, whether you want to connect with someone using liking, engage them with consistency or highlight possible loss, good questions are the way to go. They will shine a light to allow you to see things previously hidden and increase your chance for persuasion success.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”