Tag Archive for: consistency

Keys to Persuading Thinker Personalities

Here comes your biggest challenge thus far; trying to persuade one of the smartest people to ever walk the planet – Albert Einstein! Talk about intimidating; he’ll see through every psychological ploy you toss at him. If you were going to ask Einstein for something, how would you persuade him to say “Yes?”

In our final week we’ll consider how best to persuade someone who is a thinker or analytical personality type. When I think of this personality type, Einstein comes to mind because he would be someone more task-oriented than relationship-focused. However, unlike Donald Trump, he doesn’t seek to control situations and other people. Instead, he would be someone more focused on self-control. The follow describes the thinker/analytical personality type:

Very task driven; can be slow to act because they like to think things through; exercise good self-control; don’t consider themselves assertive; like data to support decisions; usually take a logical, systematic approach to things; like to see track records and trends to support ideas.

Of the four personality types, the second most often identified was the thinker at 29%. The one chosen most often was the pragmatic (32%), then expressive (24%) and finally amiable (14%).

Because thinkers are task-focused like pragmatics, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking much less than did the amiable and expressive personality types. Those personalities are much more relationship-oriented than they are on prioritizing tasks. Some influence advice when dealing with a thinker:

Using the liking principle is okay because it’s socially acceptable but you don’t want to spend much time here because thinkers are not concerned with being your friend. Don’t take offense but most of the time their thoughts are off somewhere else.

Pulling the reciprocity lever – doing things in hopes of a return favor – won’t be an effective strategy either. Thinkers will certainly accept whatever you give them but it won’t be a high priority for them to find ways to repay the favor.

More than any other personality type, when it comes to making business decisions, helping thinkers deal with uncertainty should be your top priority.

Thinkers were more persuaded by the principle of consensus – what others were doing – than any other personality type. It’s not that they just go with the flow; rather they can be persuaded by what others who are like them happen to be doing. So tell Einstein what Tesla, Edison or other classic thinkers are doing and he’ll listen.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts – the principle of authority – is more effective with this group than any other personality type! One other expert is good but many (consensus) will be your best bet when trying to persuade a thinker.

Consistency – what someone has said or done in the past –was also high for thinkers. Only pragmatics had a higher score. Pragmatics may believe they’re right in what they say and do because of their egos. Thinkers believe they’re right because they’ve put so much time and energy into their decision before they act on it or share it. Tie your request to what a thinker has said, done or professes to believe and your odds of success go up dramatically.

Scarcity was the least effective principle with this personality type. Odds are they’ve thought about your offer, perhaps researched it, so if it’s not actually rare or going away they’ll see right through it. You’ll get much more response by helping them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business environment.

When it comes to the thinkers you know they may not be as extreme as Albert Einstein. However, you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles because they’ll help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for thinkers:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

I hope you’ve found this series on personality types helpful. When it comes to persuading people, where you have a handle on their personality type, plan accordingly and you’ll be far more successful than if you simply wing it. Also, setting the stage – what you do before you attempt to persuade – will be extremely helpful.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Amiable Personalities

How would you like to meet Sandra Bullock? She always plays characters that are so nice and now she’s going to be nice to you. Imagine for a moment you have a big favor you want to ask her. How will you persuade her to say “Yes?”

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an amiable or facilitator personality type. When I think of an amiable, Sandra Bullock jumps out at me because she seems to be someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. But unlike Oprah, she doesn’t seek to control situations and others. Rather, she prefers to focus on self-control. The follow describes this personality type:

Amiable people really enjoy relationships; tend to focus more on feelings than facts; don’t consider themselves very assertive; are usually willing to set aside work if someone needs to talk; don’t like change; when they need help they prefer a real person to help them even if it takes more time.

Of the four personality types, fewer people taking my survey identified themselves as being amiable (14%) when compared to the other personalities: pragmatic (32%), expressive (24%) and thinker (29%).

Because amiable personality types are relationship-oriented, like the expressives, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, personalities that are much more task focused than they are on relationship building. Some influence advice when dealing with an amiable:

Make it a point to work the likingprinciple with these folks, because they want to know and enjoy the people they interact with. Can’t you just image Sandra wanting to get to know you and be your friend before you get down to business? I sure can. The good news is, if she likes you then she’ll probably go out of her way to help you.

While amiable personality types didn’t respond to reciprocityas much as the expressives they did place a higher value on it than thinkers and pragmatics. Do them a good turn or something thoughtful and it’s highly likely they’ll look for ways to return the favor.

Like the other personality types, when it comes to business decisions, helping amiable people deal with uncertainty is huge.

Amiable folks were persuaded by what others were doing – the principle of consensus– a little more than thinkers and expressives. When it comes to personal decisions consensus is even more important. This makes sense for someone relationship focused because they would rather go with the flow than buck the system.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts is the most effective route with this group.  However, despite the fact that authority was the #1 principle chosen by amiables, it was not as effective as it was for thinkers and pragmatics.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for amiables. With these folks it’s not about being right as much as it is feeling obligated to live up to their word. My guess is part of this has to do with being liked. If you can tie your request to his or her beliefs or values the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly. You’ll also learn more about them so you can connect even better.

Scarcitywas least effective with this personality type when compared others. If something is truly rare or going away, by all means incorporate that into your request but don’t spend much time on it. You’ll get far more out building a relationship (liking and reciprocity) and helping t them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business setting.

When it comes to the amiables in your life they may not be as nice and personable as  Sandra Bullock, but you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles that will help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for amiables:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the final personality type, the thinker, also known as the analytic.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Expressive Personalities

You are one lucky person because you just got another big break! This week you’re meeting Oprah Winfrey! You’ve been given 15 minutes to talk with one of the few people who can make or break your career just my mentioning your name. How will you influence Oprah to give you that positive mention or perhaps airtime on one of her shows?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an expressive or influencer personality. When I think of an expressive, Oprah Winfrey immediately comes to mind because she’s someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. Like the Trump, Oprah also likes to control situations and others. The follow describes this personality type:

Expressives like being part of social groups; enjoy attending events with lots of people; are more in tune with relating to people than working on tasks; are imaginative and creative; can usually win others over to their way of thinking; like things that are new and different; have no problem expressing themselves.

If I had to sum up expressive personalities in a word I’d say they’re balanced. Of the four personality types their answers had the least amount of variance. In other words, all of the principles of influence work well with them.

Because expressive personality types are relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey that they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, two personalities that are task focused much more than they are on building relationships. Some persuasion advice when dealing with an expressive:

Definitely spend time engaging the likingprinciple with them, because they want to like the people they interact with. Oprah certainly cares about closing the deal but she also cares about you and your story so look for ways to connect with her. If she likes you it’s a good bet she’ll go out of her way to help you.

Expressive personalities responded more to reciprocitythan any other personality type so look for ways to genuinely help them and they’ll respond in kind much more than pragmatics or thinkers will.

As was the case with pragmatics, in a business setting overcoming uncertainty is key for expressives.

Sharing trends and what others are doing – the principle of consensus– can be quite effective with expressives. Oprah types want to move the masses and they know it’s easier to swim with a wave rather than against it so share what many others are already doing.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effectiveroute with this group.  However, while authoritywas the #1 principle chosen by expressives, it wasn’t as effective as it was with the other personalities. Show Oprah the numbers or share insight from experts and it will give her pause to consider your request.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for expressives. For this group it’s not as much about being right as it is being true to themselves and what they believe. Look for ways to tie your request to his or her beliefs or values and the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly.

Scarcitywas no more effective for this group than the others. Definitely don’t force the issue unless something is truly rare or diminishing. Oprah Winfrey and her expressive friends don’t like to miss out on opportunities but just know you won’t be as effective with the scarcity strategy as you might be with Donald Trump and his pragmatic buddies.

When it comes to the expressives you know, they may not be as expressive as Oprah Winfrey, but there are still principles that will be more effective than others. As I noted at the beginning, there is less variance with the principles for this group when compared to others. In order, here are the most effective principles:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the amiable personality, sometimes known as the facilitator.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Pragmatic Personalities

Here it is, your big break – you have a meeting with the Donald! That’s right, Donald Trump has agreed to give you 15 minutes to pitch your idea. How will you go about persuading him to get a yes answer?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is a pragmatic or driver personality. In my mind, Donald Trump is an off-the-charts pragmatic because he’s someone who is more task-oriented as opposed to relationship-focused and he likes to control situations and others. The following describes this personality type:

Pragmatics generally want quick results; are more focused on getting things done than chatting with people; prefer taking control of situations; sometimes act before thoroughly thinking things through; are assertive; not afraid to take risks; appreciate getting to the point quickly.

Because pragmatics are not relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far less than did the expressive and amiable personality types, two personalities that are people-focused much more than task-oriented. Some persuasion advice when dealing with a pragmatic.

Don’t be rude but don’t spin your wheels using the liking principle because they don’t care much about being your friend. Do you think Donald cares more about being your friend or possibly closing the deal? I bet he wants to close the deal.

Don’t try to pull the reciprocity lever by doing favors with an expectation that it will be a difference maker because it probably won’t help too much. Donald will gladly accept what you offer but it’s doubtful it will be top of mind for him to think about how to repay the favor.

Uncertainty can be bothersome for pragmatics so when they’re not sure what to do they tend to respond to a couple of principles more than others.

Pragmatics generally don’t care what everyone else is doing but it can be persuasive to tell them what others just like themare doing. While they don’t respond to the principle of consensus as much as other personalities it was nonetheless one of their top choices. Donald Trump doesn’t care what the run of the mill businessperson is doing but he cares what respected peers are doing so do some research and incorporate your findings into your presentation.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effective route with this group.  In fact, in more than half the cases where authority was a choice, pragmatics went with it! Show Donald what the numbers are or share what respected experts have to say and he’ll give that more weight than anything else.

Motivating pragmatics to action can be easy if you know which principles to look for. Generally, you want to use consistency or scarcity.

When it came to using consistency – what someone has said or done in the past – pragmatics were more motivated by this principle than any other personality style. In fact, it was their second most often chosen reason when it came to being persuaded. When Donald Trump says something do you think he believes he’s right? Of course he does, so tie your request to his previous words, actions or beliefs and your odds of success go up dramatically. I can back up that claim because I saw this to be the case on an episode of The Apprentice.

While scarcity wasn’t one of the top three choices for pragmatics, using this principle was more effective with pragmatics than any other personality type. Think about Donald Trump – he hates to lose! Talk about what pragmatics might lose by not going along with what you’re proposing and you’ll get more compliance than you would by talking about what they might gain or save.

When it comes to the pragmatics you know, they may not be as extreme as Donald Trump, but nonetheless there are certain principles that will be more effective than others. In order of effectiveness they are:

  • Authority
  • Consistency
  • Consensus
  • Scarcity
  • Reciprocity
  • Liking

Next week we’ll take a look at the expressive personality, sometimes known as the influencer.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

DISCover Keys to Persuading Different Personality Types

Should you try to persuade different personality types with different principles of influence? Several years ago I conducted a survey on that topic and the results seemed to indicate there were certain principles of influence that were more effective with particular personality types.

My original survey contained a mixture of business and personal questions, which led many people to contact me because they felt they responded differently in business situations vs. personal settings. For example, in business they felt friendship was far less important when it came to saying “Yes” to someone than it might be away from the office.

Because much of what I write about is oriented towards business I decided to conduct a new survey that would be entirely focused on business-related issues. I’m happy to report that more than 500 people participated in the survey!The actual survey questions can be seen here. Without going into great detail, what’s important for you to understand is each question had three possible answers:

For the most part those who contacted me years ago were correct – people seem to respond to different principles of influence in the business environment than they do away from work. For example, with each personality type those taking the survey responded most often to the principle of authority. That’s not to say another principle such as liking was irrelevant but it was clear from the data that given the choice to respond because of friendship versus a perceived expert or hard data, people choose the expert or authoritative information when it came to saying “Yes.”

Something else to understand about the survey are the four personality types I asked survey participants to choose from. The personality choices are similar to the DISC profile you may be familiar with:

Pragmatic/Driver– This is someone who is more focused on accomplishing tasks than building relationships. They’re also more focused on control of others and situations than they are self-control. Donald Trump would be an off the charts representative of the driver personality style.

Expressive/Influencer– This person is more focused on building relationships versus accomplishing tasks. They’re also more focused on control of others and situations than they are on self-control. Oprah Winfrey would be a classic example of the influencer personality style.

Amiable/Facilitator– This is someone who is more focused on building relationships than accomplishing tasks. They’re also more focused on self-control as opposed to control of others or situations. Based on the roles she plays, Sandra Bullock comes to mind for this amiable personality style.

Thinker/Analytical– This individual is more focused on accomplishing tasks that building relationships. They tend to display more concern about self-controlvs. control of others or situations. Albert Einstein would be the perfect picture of this analytical personality style.

In the coming weeks I’ll share details on each of the four personality types and give some tips on the best ways to persuade people when you have a handle on their personality.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – How Executives Can Learn Influence

This month’s
Influencers from Around the World guest post comes by way of my good friend
Sean Patrick. Through the power of the internet, he sent it to me all the way
from Ireland in just milliseconds. Sean started a his own sales training
company, Sales Training Evaluation, and spends time in various parts of Europe training salespeople and
executives. Sean was in the U.S. several years ago to attend the Principles of
Persuasion workshop and there’s a good chance he’ll be here again in late
summer or early fall. If you don’t get to meet him while he’s here you can always
“meet” him on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
How
Executives Can Learn Influence
How can executives acquire meaningful persuasion
skills so they can influence outside their power brokerage?  As people like myself know all too well,
skill transfer is one of the toughest tasks that can be placed upon a learning
and development executive.  Natural
persuaders just like successful sales people who adhere to no formal sales
process, struggle to share insights into their behaviors.  They will tell you that they “just do it.”  It just flows.  Words can’t describe the cognitive processes,
emotions and beliefs that form specific actions to take place at specific
intervals during the influence process. So imagine you’re the boss of a very
large department and you need to come up with a plan to motivate more
production out of your staff.  In today’s
corporate world, working environments are highly collaborative as well as
individualistic, where multi stakeholder partnerships exist. It’s these
environments in which the skills of influence rule over old school
manipulation.
According to Dr. Robert Cialdini, today’s
executives who lack the superior communication skills of the “naturals” can
turn to science in place of sourcing the very same skills that win deals, gain
compliance and get employees to willfully change.  Executives can gain consensus and win
concessions by mastering simple basic principles that can be easily learned and
applied in a relatively short period of time.
Here are a few simple ways where influence can be
applied in everyday corporate environments:
1. Liking Informal conversations during the
workday create an ideal opportunity to discover common areas of interest,
whether it’s a sports team, hobby, or watching “Mad Men.” The important thing
is to establish the commonality early because it creates a sense of goodwill
and trustworthiness in every subsequent encounter. It’s much easier to build
support for projects when the people you’re trying to persuade are already
bonded with you.  Managers, who praise
members of their staff where relationships have been impaired, begin to
radically turn around those relationships through the simple act of
recognition.
Researchers at the University of North Carolina
writing in the Journal of Experimental
Social Psychology,
found that men acted more favorably for an individual
who flattered them even if the compliments were untrue. And in their book Interpersonal Attraction
(Addison-Wesley, 1978), Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Hatfield Walster presented
experimental data showing that positive remarks about another person’s traits,
attitude, or performance reliably generates liking in return, as well as
willing compliance.
2. Reciprocity Line managers who share staff and
resources with their peers who are fast approaching deadlines are more likely
to receive favors and help when they need it in the future. Odds will improve
even more if you say, when your colleague thanks you for the assistance,
something like, “Sure, glad to help. I know how important it is for me to count
on your help when I need it.” 
Gift giving is one of the cruder applications of
the rule of reciprocity. In its more sophisticated uses, it promises a genuine
first-mover advantage on any manager who is trying to foster positive attitudes
and productive personal relationships in the office
3. Social Proof According to one of Dr. Cialdini’s
research pieces, a group of researchers went door-to-door in Columbia, S.C.,
soliciting donations for a charity campaign and displaying a list of neighborhood
residents who had already donated to the cause. The researchers found that the
longer the donor list was, the more likely those solicited would be to donate
as well.  The people being solicited
became the subject to the power of peer pressure once they saw the names of all
their neighbors on the list.
4. Consistency People need not only to like you but
also to feel committed to what you want them to do. Good turns are one reliable
way to make people feel obligated to you. Another is to win a public commitment
from them.  Israeli researchers writing
in 1983 in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin recounted how they
asked half the residents of a large apartment complex to sign a petition
favoring the establishment of a recreation center for the handicapped. The
cause was good and the request was small, so almost everyone who was asked
agreed to sign. Two weeks later, on National Collection Day for the
Handicapped, all residents of the complex were approached at home and asked to
give to the cause. A little more than half of those who were not asked to sign
the petition made a contribution. But an astounding 92% of those who did sign
donated money. The residents of the apartment complex felt obligated to live up
to their commitments because those commitments were active, public, and
voluntary.
5. Authority The principle of authority asks us to
believe in the advice dispensed by experts. Since there’s good reason to take
heed to expert advice, executives should take pains to ensure that they
establish their own expertise before they attempt to exert influence.
Surprisingly often, people mistakenly assume that others recognize and
appreciate their experience. The task for managers who want to establish their
claims to expertise is somewhat more difficult. They can’t simply nail their
diplomas to the wall and wait for everyone to notice. A little subtlety is
called for.
Through liking and similarity, they can also
provide an opportunity to establish expertise. Perhaps telling an anecdote
about successfully solving a problem similar to the one that’s on the agenda at
the next meeting or maybe a recreational dinner is the time to describe years
spent mastering a complex discipline, as part of the ordinary give-and-take of
conversation.
6. Scarcity Study after study shows that items and
opportunities are seen to be more valuable as they become less available.
That’s a tremendously useful piece of information for managers.  Managers can learn from retailers how to
frame their offers not in terms of what people stand to gain but in terms of
what they stand to lose if they don’t act on the information.  According to a 1994 study in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision
Processes
, potential losses figure far more heavily in managers’ decision-making
rather than potential gains. In framing their offers, salespeople and
executives should also remember that exclusive information is more persuasive
than widely available data.
The persuasive power of exclusivity can be
harnessed by any manager who comes into possession of information that’s not
widely available and that supports an idea or initiative he or she is aligned
to.  The next time that kind of
information crosses your path, gather your key stakeholders.  The information itself may seem dull, but
exclusivity will give it a special appeal. Push it out to those who need to
buy-in and inform them saying, “You just got this report today. It won’t be
distributed until next week, but I want to give you an early look at what it
shows.” Then notice the rise in interest.
Over to you
If you manage people in your job, how can you take
these examples of persuasion and use to gain compliance?
I’d love to hear about how you’ve pushed yourself
to use these principles of persuasion. 
I’d also love to hear about your wins and what you learned through the
experience.
Sean
Sources:
Influence:
Science and Practice (Allyn & Bacon, 2001)
Influence At Work www.influenceatwork.com         
HBR Business
Essentials: Power, Influence and Persuasion (HBR Press, 2005)
Social Psychology,
3rd ed. (Oxford University Press, 1985)

Why Facebook Doesn’t Change Anyone’s Opinion

Facebook is useless when it comes go changing people’s opinions. I’m sure many people will disagree with me but I firmly believe that’s the case. My belief comes from personal observation and science.

My personal observation is this – I’ve yet to see people go back and forth on Facebook about any issue where one person finally concedes and says, “Wow, you’ve brought up some interesting points I’ve never considered before. That’s helped change my thinking on this issue.” Have you ever seen someone post anything remotely related to that? I bet not.

Why do I believe science backs up my belief that Facebook isn’t a vehicle to change people’s minds on important issues? Because of Robert Cialdini’s principle of consistency. This principle of influence tells us people feel internal and external pressure to be consistent in what they say and do.  Some factors that strengthen consistency’s pull include someone taking a public, active stand and as long as it’s voluntary and requires some effort people will be more firmly entrenched in their original position.

We all hold beliefs about politics, religion, sex (the big three we’re supposed to avoid discussing in public), as well as many other issues. When we keep those to ourselves we might ponder other people’s views and possibly consider them but once we make our thoughts public we feel the pull of consistency to defend our original position.

Now consider taking an active stand. You begin posting on Facebook. The mere act of taking more and more action gets you to put more and more reasons in front of the world as to why you believe what you believe. You’re convincing yourself with each post that you’re right and the other person is wrong.

Of course, it’s assumed you’re doing this of your own free will – voluntarily. That’s important because we own our views much more than we do the views we might ascribe to primarily because of our parents, peers or the company we work for. So this is one more reason people dig their heels in even further.

And now we come to effort. The more effort you put into something the more you value it and take ownership. Dan Ariely calls this “The IKEA Effect,” because people love their IKEA furniture primarily due to the effort they put into building it. As you start researching to defend your position, check out someone else’s Facebook page or do anything to prepare for the back and forth exchange on Facebook, you are firmly entrenching your beliefs even more because of the effort you’ve expended.

So, having made your views public, actively and voluntarily, while engaging others with time and effort, almost makes it certain you won’t change your opinion. And you know what, the same holds true for the other person. Maybe you should ask yourself if it’s worth it – the time, effort and angst – to debate over Facebook. Personally I think it’s a waste of time because I know no good will come of it.

If you’re open to the reality that maybe, just maybe you don’t have all the facts and aren’t 100% correct all the time then I believe you’d get much more accomplished by sitting face-to-face over coffee or a beer so you can have a discussion. When you do so, each person can share their views and ask questions.

I’ll conclude with this – it used to be considered a good thing to be open minded and willing to change if need be. However, that seems to have gone out the window these days, especially in politics because the external pressure to remain consistent is so strong. If you’re a politician who changes on a position you’ll be crucified as a flip-flopper, waffler or wishy-washy. As everyday citizens get more firmly entrenched in the ideology of their party and take to social media to air their opinions it will only get tougher to persuade people to change. So, if you want to be a master persuader, you’d better rethink your approach if you want to impact someone else for your cause. My simple suggestion is to take it offline.

Influencers from Around the World – An Accountability Partner Can Help Your Life

Readers of Influence PEOPLE know Hoh Kim
because of his guest posts to the Influencers from Around the World series over
the years. Hoh is also a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer® (CMCT®) and I actually met him when we trained together under Dr.
Cialdini. In addition to his CMCT® Hoh has his masters in communication from
Marquette University. I encourage you learn more about Hoh by visiting his
website, The Lab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. You can also connect
with Hoh on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter.
Brian, CMCT® 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
An Accountability Partner Can Help Your Life
1,000
Places to See Before You Die
by Patricia Schultz is one of my favorite
books. It has been the ultimate travel guide for me for many years. What are
your “100 things to-do before you die” or perhaps more appropriately, “100
things to-do while you live”? If you need a reference, check the book 2 Do Before I Die: The Do-It-Yourself Guide
to the Rest of Your Life
by Michael Ogden and Chris Day. On your to-do list
could be driving from Boston to Seattle, quitting your job and opening a
restaurant, or countless other things.
Do you have a “10 things to do every day”
list? It’s easy! Here’s my example:
1. 30-minutes of exercise.
2. 30-minutes reading a classic book.
3. Help my wife.
4. Help one person outside of my home.
5. Plan for the next day.
6. Control my eating.
7. Not allow myself to be interrupted by SNS
or my blackberry too much.
8. Focus one important thing for the day.
9. Not hurt someone by saying something bad or
insensitive
10. Praise someone
You’ve probably heard of this kind of list
from friends or seen it in movies like “The Bucket List” with Jack
Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Having your “lifetime 100 to-do list” can help
you live a more full life and your “daily 10 to-do list” can help you day by
day. But, having lists is not enough. You need one more thing if you really
want to achieve something on your daily life and lifetime – an accountability
partner.
Here is an example of what an accountability
partner means. Everyday at 10 pm I have a five-minute phone call with one of my
friends. The call is simple. We ask each other about the “daily to-do list” we’ve
shared beforehand and simply tell each other whether we fulfilled our 10 items
or not. In this case, the friend becomes your accountability partner.
I got this idea from an article where Marshall
Goldsmith, one of the best leadership coaches in the world, was interviewed.
The term “accountability partner” came to my attention in the article, which was written by
Natalie Houston.
Dr. Cialdini had said many times, “People need
to publicly commit in order to leverage the principle of consistency.” This can happen when trying to persuade
others and when persuading yourself. To better persuade yourself to do
something, you need to commit to that something publicly, and having an
accountability partner is an excellent way to do that.
So, why don’t you grab a pencil and notebook,
and start to develop your top 10 things you must do every day. Next, find your
accountability partner and commit to check-in with each other. It may sound
simple but, if you DO it daily, you will improve your life and experience more
happiness and joy.
Hoh Kim, CMCT®
Founder & Head Coach, THE LAB h

Influential Mad Men

I became a fan of the television series Mad Men a few years ago during the show’s fourth season on AMC. Over the holidays, thanks to Netflix, I went back and watched the first three seasons so I could fill in lots of holes on different characters.

The show revolves around a mysterious character who goes by the name of Don Draper. I say, “goes by the name of” because that’s not his real name. Part of the appeal of the series for me is that it takes place in an advertising agency back in the 1960s. That’s the decade when I was born so I remember many of the products they pitch.

Another reason for the appeal is that at its core, advertising is persuasion. Advertising is all about changing people’s behavior, trying to get them to buy the products being advertised. Throughout Mad Men, you learn that most people don’t respect Don Draper and the rest of the characters they encounter because of what they do. In the late ‘50s and early ‘60s, advertising was seen as Madison Avenue types trying to get unsuspecting people to buy things they didn’t really need or want.

There’s some truth to that last statement however, because we’re so saturated with ads today the advertising onslaught seems normal to us. In an article titled PermissionMarketing, which was written for the magazine Fast Company, William C. Taylor told readers, “This year, the average consumer will see or hear one million marketing messages – that’s almost 3,000 per day.” Here’s a scary thought – that quote is now 15 years old! If the average American consumer was exposed to a million marketing messages in 1995, how much more are we exposed to today with the explosion of the Internet and cable television? Just think about all the ads you see on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and other social media sites that didn’t exist 15 years ago. It’s overwhelming!

Can you possibly take in all the information from millions of marketing messages, rationally analyze it then make the most informed choice? Nobody can, so to help navigate the tidal wave of information that comes our way we use mental shortcuts. By that, I mean when we hear certain reliable bits of information we sometimes act upon it, nearly to the exclusion of other information, so we can move on to whatever else is competing for our attention.

This is where the Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence come into the decision-making process. These principles describe psychological scenarios where it’s easier for us to say “Yes.” For example, the more you know and like someone the easier it is to say “yes” to them. In advertising we sometimes come to feel as if we know certain spokespeople in commercials. Progressive’s Flo character is a good example. The more people feel they know and like Flo the more likely they are to get a Progressive quote. This is the principle of liking.

The principle of reciprocity clearly shows you’re more likely to help someone who’s first helped you in some way or given you something. This is why you get “freebies” at the grocery store and in the mail. Those “freebies” make it more likely we’ll buy from the company that’s given those “gifts” to us.

In advertising another big way we’re influenced is through the principle of consensus. When we believe something is a best seller, that everyone else is buying the item, we become more likely to purchase it too. An example here would be touting a book that’s made the New York Times’ Best Seller list. Once we hear that single fact it legitimizes that the book is probably pretty good and worth buying. After all, can hundreds of thousands, or millions of readers all be wrong?

Spokespeople are sometimes used in advertising because they convey authority and we’re more likely to listen to so-called experts. If I tell you a certain golf ball added 20 yards to my drive would that be enough for you to buy the ball or do you think a golf pro like CoreyPavin telling people how great the new golf ball is would sell more? Most people would listen to Corey Pavin because he won the U.S. Open and has finished in the top five of the other three major golf championships during his career. This is the principle of authority in action.

Advertisers often tap into the principle of consistency to get us to buy. They tie the virtues of their product into what we’ve said or done in the past or relate the product’s attributes to our deeply held values. For example, most breadwinners want to provide for and protect their families. Advertising that shows how a particular life insurance product will allow a family to continue living in the lifestyle they’re accustomed to should the breadwinner pass away will sell more easily because it ties into the value of family protection.

And finally there’s the principle of scarcity. This principle of influence tells us people want things more when they’re becoming less available. This principle is probably most familiar to us because we see it continually when we’re hit with ads telling us “Sale Ends Sunday,” “While Supplies Last,” or “One Day Only!” This is also the reason gun sales skyrocketed after the Sandy Hook tragedy. People were afraid if they didn’t buy a gun now they might not be able to in the future.

If you take the time to watch Mad Men (season premier is April 7 on AMC) you’ll see the principles employed at every turn as they build out advertising campaigns for clients. Of course, all you need to do is pay attention to regular advertising that comes your way and you’ll see all the same principles at work. When you recognize them simply ask yourself if you’re making the best decision possible or if you’re only acting because of one piece of data at the expense of other, perhaps more relevant information. Do this and you’re sure to make better decisions over the long haul.

 

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

She Tricked Me into Marrying Her … Sort of

This week Jane and I celebrate our 25th
wedding anniversary. On March 12, 1988, we exchanged vows before friends,
family and God in the Waynesburg Presbyterian Church. I have to say, it doesn’t
seem like 25 years ago!

A funny thing happened on the way to the
alter; Jane tricked me into marrying her … sort of. Actually she employed a
principle of influence but I’m not totally sure if she knew what she was doing.
We met on our first day of work and started dating
a few weeks later. Within weeks of that, I was telling friends she might be
“the one.” Things went along smoothly until my ex-girlfriend called and that
threw me for a loop. A few months of indecision ensued and what made it extra
difficult was Jane and I still worked together and saw each other daily.
We’d stopped going out sometime in early April
and one day in late April I saw Jane in the break room and asked how she was
doing. She said she was doing fine and wouldn’t go out with me again even if I asked.
Less than two weeks later we were going out and I asked her to marry me on her
birthday.
When I used to tell the story I bragged as if
I was some kind of stud that she just couldn’t resist. While I was doing that
Jane was probably telling her friends, “All I had to tell him was I wouldn’t go
out with him again even if he asked…and he asked me to marry him!”
In case you’re not aware of what happened,
Jane used the principle of scarcity on me. This principle of persuasion tells
us people want things more when they’re less available. I bet every one of you
reading this can think of a time where you stopped going out with someone or
were considering it but when you learned they liked someone else everything
changed. All of a sudden you wanted them more than ever!

In my defense, I’d like to think part of the
reason she said “yes” was because I engaged a little reciprocity. I planned to
ask her to marry me on her birthday to throw her off my real intention. I gave
her a dozen roses at work then showed up at her apartment with another dozen
roses and a bottle of wine that evening. She thought it was all for her birthday. Next I
took her to dinner in a Silver Cloud Rolls Royce I’d rented, driver and all. On
the way home I popped the question in the back seat and gave her the ring. She
couldn’t say no after all I’d done…she owed me!

Something happened after I asked her to marry
me. All the uncertainty that plagued me for months left and it was no longer an
issue trying to decide between the ex and Jane. I can honestly say I never
looked back and wondered “what if?” Because I’d made an active, public
commitment, the principle of consistency was now at work on me.
In all truthfulness, each of us was a bungler
of persuasion and we were lucky in our application of some of the principles of
influence. We were also bunglers in marriage at such a young age but overcame
obstacles and have been in a really good place for a long time. Just as life is
easier when you understand and ethically apply persuasion, marriage is easier
when you learn and practice two things to the best of your ability.
  1. Cherish the other person because time goes by quickly (scarcity). 
  2. Put the other person’s well being above your own. When you do,
    most of the time they will respond in kind (reciprocity).

I’ll conclude with this since it’s my
anniversary. I’d like to tell all of you that Jane is incredible! The more time
passes and I watch her continue to grow and mature, the more amazed I am at
her. If God had let me put together the perfect spouse I wouldn’t have come up
with someone as wonderful as Jane. Part of the reason is I wouldn’t have been
creative enough and the other part would have been a lack of faith that there
would be someone so beautiful, kind, smart, funny and so many other amazing traits.
I’m a very blessed man!

Brian, CMCT® 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.