Tag Archive for: liking

Influencers from Around the World – Three Keys to Consider when Negotiating with the Chinese

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Marco Germani has been guest writing for
Influence PEOPLE for four years. He’s written his own book on persuasion and
applies the principles of influence daily as he travels the world selling wine.
I encourage you to reach out to Marco on Facebook
and LinkedIn.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 
Three
Keys to Consider when Negotiating with the Chinese
A few years ago I attended an influence workshop
put on by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., where the last part of the seminar was
dedicated to applying the principles of persuasion to different cultures around
the world. My understanding was the principles were immutable and universally
accepted all over the planet but in fact Dr. Cialdini explained that in
different cultures some principles are much more effective than others.

 

As an export manager in the wine business,
spending over 70% of my time traveling around the world and making deals, I
started to pay attention to this aspect and I realized that Dr. Cialdini was
absolutely right! What works in Italy is sometimes less effective in Germany or
in South Korea, and the best way to carry out negotiations in the United States
could be totally ineffective in Japan.
 In this week’s post I would like to focus on
China, a country which I’ve had the chance to visit many times over the past
seven years and which can be considered one of a kind in many aspects,
including the way Chinese negotiate and persuade. This subject could be very
vast but I would like to point out three main differences in the Chinese way of
negotiating because this understanding can make a big difference if you ever
find yourself doing business in China.
1. The
concept of “face” (Mian Zi)
“Losing face” is considered one of the worst
things that can happen to a Chinese person. Being diminished or worse, ridiculed,
in front of others, is the ultimate humiliation in China and this must always
be taken into account when negotiating. If yielding to your conditions could
even remotely generate the feeling that your counterpart was wrong, proposed
something inconsistent, or that makes him clearly “lose the game” when
negotiating, the deal simply will not happen. This extension of the principle
of social proof is a very sensitive subject in Asia and Chinese people in
particular seem to care about it even more.
A Chinese boss would never criticize or
admonish a subordinate in front of others, as this would cause him to lose
face. When bargaining in a street market a Chinese vendor would prefer to lose
the sale rather than accept your first price.
Taking this into account means always giving a
way out to your counterpart in order to help him “save face.” It is surprising
how many Westerns ignore this point and have trouble negotiating with the Chinese.
If the negotiation is seen as a battle, in which a party wins and the other
loses, in China the two parties are almost always bound to lose simultaneously.
The “win-win” concept introduced by the late Stephen Covey in his best seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is
more relevant in China than elsewhere. It can be the deal maker or deal breaker,
whether in a business or personal negotiation with a Chinese individual.
2. The
concept of relationship (Guan-xi)
Business IS all about relationships and
everybody knows it. In the newest edition of The Pyramid of Sale by Brian Tracy and other renowned sales
trainers contend that the pyramid base is building relationships and trust with
the customers, whereas in the past it was the presentation of the product.
In China this concept goes even further. The
nearly untranslatable word  “guan-xi”
literally means “network of relationships” but it has a deeper meaning,
including how well you are perceived by influential people in your network and
how you are able to help your business counterparts network with the influential
people you know.
When starting to negotiate with a Chinese
person, the fact that you have common friends, or the fact that you have relationships
with relevant people who might turn out to be useful to your counterpart, can
give you a huge advantage. I consider this an extension of the principle of liking
even though it has a deeper and subtler meaning.
The skilled negotiator, when entering into a
discussion with a Chinese person, will take care to inform the other of the influential
people he knows or has business relationships with, letting the other
understand that, if the deal between the two of them is made, this influential
network will be put at his disposal as a natural consequence of starting a
partnership.  The problem with this
attitude, which is widely used by Chinese people when negotiating with
Westerns, is this; the information shared is seldom accurate and often purely
instrumental to get a vantage point in the discussion.
Let’s pretend I am trying to sell wine to a
dealer in China. He might state that, if I accept his conditions and start a
partnership with him, that he would introduce me to his best friend, the buyer
of the largest Chinese retail chain, whom, thanks to his introduction, will
seriously consider doing business with me as well. This is obviously just a negotiation
technique, which appeals to the greediness of Western business people and in
part to their ingenuity.
3. The
concept of circular thinking
The last crucial information to know about
when negotiating with the Chinese is the difference between the Western
“linear” thinking and Eastern “circular” thinking.  A few years ago I was involved in a long
negotiation with a Chinese buyer of frozen pizza, produced by an Italian
factory and to be distributed in several regions of China. This was going to generate
a considerable amount of business for the seller. The negotiation went on for
weeks and it seemed like we never reach an agreement. Every time there was a
new issue popping out: exclusivity, special recipe for the Chinese market,
color of the label on the package, selling price, payment terms, etc. In the
end, and after several meetings with the owner of the company in China, a
contract was finally written and it seemed to suit both partners. We celebrated
together in one of those infamous Chinese banquets for more than five hours
with alcohol flowing freely.
A couple of days later, when the Italian CEO
had already left China, I was incredulous when the Chinese buyer called me and
he said he would like to meet me to again discuss several points of the
contract. It seemed like all of the past efforts were useless and we were back
to point zero. This was because I did not understand at the time the concept of
“circular thinking.” For Western businessman reviewing an already signed contract
means there’s something wrong with it which needs to be changed but for a Chinese
businessman this might only mean they really would like to review the points
and have them restated, not necessarily that they don’t agree with them or they
want to change them. It is part of their culture and the process makes them
feel safer and reassured. This must always be taken into account when
negotiating with the Chinese. Reviewing over and over already established points
is not a bad sign or a waste of time, it is just part of the natural process of
negotiation in China!
As said, the subject is much wider than this
and I have treated it extensively in my eBook Business con la Cina (Bruno Editore – 2010, only available in
Italian at the moment but maybe one day I’ll have it translated into English).
For those who speak Italian, you can find it here www.autostima.net.

Marco










 

Cialdini “Influence”
Series! Would you like to learn more about
influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini
Method Certified Trainers from around the world.

The Cialdini “Influence” Series is Coming Soon!

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Are you interested in learning more about the
science of influence directly from the experts? You’re in luck! Beginning
February 13, a seven-part online series begins where you’ll hear from individuals
who’ve been personally trained by Robert
Cialdini, Ph.D.
Dr. Cialdini is recognized as the world’s
leading expert on influence and persuasion. His book Influence Science and Practice is on its fifth edition, has sold
more the two million copies, and has been translated into 26 languages. If that
isn’t enough, Influence was also
named “the top sales and marketing” book in The
100 Best Business Books of All Time.
There are only 20 Cialdini Method Certified
Trainers® in the world today and you’ll get to hear from seven of them for 30 minutes each in this online series. Here’s your schedule of trainers and topics:
February
13 –
Anthony McLean, a guest blogger for Influence PEOPLE, will cover The Foundation
– What Is The “Influence Difference” And How To Prepare For Persuasion.
March 6 – Dan Norris, the
trainer who led me through my first workshop, will discuss The Principle Of
Reciprocity – How We Can Use This Most Effectively.
March 27 – Brian Ahearn. I
will introduce you to The Principle Of Scarcity – The Hidden Aspects That Can
Help…Or Hurt Our Messages.
April 17 – Hoh Kim, also a
guest blogger for Influence PEOPLE, will talk about The Principle Of Authority
– How To Use It When You Might Not Think You Can.
May 8 – Steve Martin,
co-author of Yes 50 Scientifically Proven
Ways to be Persuasive, will share thoughts on The Principle Of Consistency
– It’s Right In Front Of You…If You Know How To Use It.
May 29 – Debbie Hixson will
talk about The Principle Of Liking – Helping A Decision-Maker To Like You…It’s
Just Half Of The Equation.
June 29 – Matt Barney
concludes the series with The Principle of Consensus – People Proof…Using The
Power of Many.

There’s no better place to learn about the
psychology of persuasion than from the influence experts. I know many of the
trainers and can say with certainty; you’ll learn a lot about the influence
process and leave with ideas you can implement immediately. Interested? Sign up today!
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Money – Happiness Link

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It’s said that making more money won’t make you happier. We find it hard to believe that winning the lottery wouldn’t make us happier because we could fulfill all of our dreams – the big house, luxury car, exotic vacations, cool “toys,” etc. But then we hear the stories of lottery winners going bankrupt and wishing they’d never won the grand prize. According to a Forbes article, lottery winners experience a spike in happiness but eventually they return to pre-winning happiness levels. Lottery winners aside, we can probably all think of people who make loads of money, and their lives are train wrecks.

Indeed, most studies show that making more money doesn’t necessarily equate to more happiness…at least after a certain point. A 2010 study out of Princeton University showed that people were happier making more money up to about $75,000. After that, people don’t get much happier making more money.

Perhaps how much money we make isn’t the problem. What if the real issue is how we spend our money? Over Christmas break I read Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton. Based on scientific research the authors show five things we can do to derive more satisfaction from our spending. I’ll share their five basic points and a few thoughts on each. If what you read intrigues you then I encourage you to pick up a copy of the book for yourself.

Buy Experiences

Whatever things we buy, we quickly get used to them. For example, studies show people driving a BMW are no happier with their car than those who drive a more economical car. However, positive experiences do make us happier. Think about your home or car then think about some of the great vacations you’ve taken or major events you’ve been a part of. Odds are you’ll have much fonder memories of the experiential events.

Make it a Treat

As noted above, we get used to things. It’s human nature. People can learn to endure horrific things to the point where they are not shocked by the experience. On the flip side we can easily get used to the nice home or car so neither elicits much feeling one way or another. Or how about this – if you visit Starbucks every day for your fancy caffeine fix, odds are you don’t appreciate at it nearly as much as when you’ve gone without it for some period. The authors contend if we voluntarily cut back on certain things, making them more of a treat when we do partake, we’ll be happier as a result.

Buy Time

We all have an opportunity to make more money. The amount we could make might be unlimited but not so when it comes to time. Studies show spending money on things that might save us time so we can participate in more experiential things will make us happier. We can probably all think of a time when we missed an event because we had to work or do chores. Paying someone to cut the grass or fix the house so you can attend your kids’ events might be a better use of your money. You’ll be happier for it and so will your family.

Pay Now, Consume Later

Wouldn’t life be grand if we didn’t have to worry about money? It might be but that’s not the case and we hate the pain of paying. Paying as you go is the worst approach because you might nickel and dime yourself out of things that could make your purchase or experience much better. And you have the worry of paying tacked on constantly as you go.

Alternatively, you could just charge it and not worry about it. However, throwing caution to the wind and living it up still means paying the piper when the credit card bill arrives. At that point you begin to wonder if it was all worth it, which leads to less satisfaction with your purchase and possibly regret.

Studies show that bearing the pain of paying up front reduces the stress during and after the purchase, which leads to more happiness. For example – think about going on a vacation where you constantly worry about the price of food, drinks, and activities vs. going to an all-inclusive resort where you paid up front. At the all-inclusive you’ll probably throw caution to the wind and live it up much more thereby creating a better experience and happiness.

Invest in Others

Jesus told his followers “’Tis better to give than receive.” It turns out science validates His ancient wisdom. Whether people were given money or asked to spend their own, those who spent money on others rather than themselves tended to be happier. And it doesn’t have to be large amounts of cash. It could be as simple as paying for someone’s coffee. So next time you’re out, look for a way to make another person’s day a little brighter and your day will brighten too.

The tie to influence

When you experience positive things with others you build on the principle of liking because we like those with whom we share common bonds. If buying time, making it a treat, and paying up front make you a happier person, people will enjoy being around you more.

In addition to liking, when you invest in others you tap into the principle of reciprocity. Some people you invest in, you might not see again, but then you never know. Good deeds have a way of making their way back around to those who initiate them. Giving to others might just come back in an unexpected form at some point in time. Some people call that karma.

So, my encouragement is to give the five spending pointers a try and see how you feel. You might just be happier as a result and be a little more influential to boot.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Importance of “Thank You”

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Several weeks ago I wrote a blog post on the correct ways to respond to “Thanks.” Much to my surprise and delight it struck a chord with readers. As I was watching television after a Sunday of football, a 60 Minutes piece caught my attention so I decided to write about the importance of saying, “Thank you.”

In the 60 Minutes segment, Anderson Cooper interviewed Marcus Luttrell, the author of Lone Survivor, the account of four Navy Seals who were ambushed during a recon mission in Afghanistan. Luttrell was the lone survivor on that fateful day in 2005.

Cooper also interviewed retired Vice Admiral Joe McGuire. According to the Vice Admiral one of Luttrell’s comrades, Lieutenant Mike Murphy, placed a call for help after he and his three fellow Seals had been shot. Murphy had to expose himself on a rock to place the call even though he knew he’d likely be killed in such a vulnerable location.

He made the call and said, “We could really use your help.” He was told by command, “Help is on the way.” Then Vice Admiral McGuire said he admired Murphy because, having been shot and knowing he’d probably die radioing for help, he finished the call by saying, “Thank you.” The Vice Admiral said of Murphy, “That’s just the kind of man he was.” Did you catch that? He actually took time to say “Thank you” in the middle of a firefight knowing he might die!

As I noted in the post several weeks ago, how you respond to “thank you” can make a big difference in your ability to persuade others. On the flip side, expressing gratitude, saying “thank you”, is every bit as important. If Lieutenant Murphy could find the time to remember to say, “Thanks,” then who are we not to?

Giving thanks taps into reciprocity, the principle that tells us people feel obligated to do something for those who’ve done something for them. “Thank you” is one of the first phrases we learned when mom and dad taught us that thanking others was the right thing to do after someone had done something for us.

Unfortunately showing gratitude – good manners – seems to be slipping these days. I think that because of the responses I get from others when I say, “Yes, thank you,” or “No, thanks.” Quite often I’m thanked in return because politeness stands out today. While that might be a sad commentary, the good news for you is your “Thanks” will stand out in a positive way.

I remember many years ago “stopping the presses” to help someone accomplish something that was very important to them. It involved several people on my end and was a disruption in normal processing but we got it done. What stayed with me all these years was the fact that the person we helped never said thanks or acknowledged we went out of our way to help even though we didn’t have to.

I realize I don’t work for thanks and that I’m expected to do my job but our company has a culture in which associates recognize extra effort with sincere appreciation. I knew in my heart if that person ever wanted my help again I’d do what was asked but the effort would not be the same as it would for others who genuinely appreciated past efforts.

When you recognize people and their effort it helps build relationships and it’s a proven fact that people prefer to say, “Yes” to those they know and like. That’s the principle of liking.

So here is some simple persuasion advice. When people have done something you genuinely appreciate, let them know. “Thanks” and “Thank you” go a long way but I’d encourage you to go a bit further. Thank the other person and, if warranted, tag it with a bit more:

  • “Thanks, I really appreciate what you did.”
  • “Thank you. It means a lot to me that you’d…”
  • “You have been so helpful. Thanks a lot!”

Each of these takes just a moment of reflection and a couple of extra seconds. Lieutenant Murphy found the time during the fight of his life; can you? Even if you’re dealing with someone you might not see again at a minimum you might just brighten his or her day. If you’re dealing with someone you interact with regularly, an approach like I’ve described can go a long way toward building a stronger, more productive relationship and that will make future attempts at persuasion much easier.

Influencers from Around the World – Child-Like Influence

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It’s always a treat to hear from Australia’s only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer® Anthony McLean. Anthony is the founder of the Social Influence Consulting Group. I follow him on several social media sites (Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter) and can tell you he’s doing outstanding work! If you’re a parent you’ll really appreciate this week’s post.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Child-Like Influence
Have you ever watched a child walk into a new environment such as a park, a playground or even a new school and wondered at how quickly they are able to integrate into the group and make new friends? I have three children and have noticed that my youngest, Ryan, never has a problem making new friends. No matter where we go, he always ends up talking to or playing with someone new. My eldest, Samara, possessed this skill when she was younger but now as a pre-teen it doesn’t come that easily to her anymore. Why?
The thing that Ryan does that Samara has stopped doing is always being willing to make the first move (reciprocity). He will walk up to a child on a swing and say hello. If someone is playing on a climbing gym he will go and join in and mimic the climbing style until he can master the apparatus for himself. As an ever more self-aware pre-teen, Samara is less likely to take the first step to talk to someone new. Instead she will look around for those she already knows and in a new environment that is not always possible.  So she sits back and waits.
It is with this simple observation that I started to reflect on persuasion and why some people are successful at it while others find it harder. Now I’m not suggesting there is just one factor involved, but a fundamental tenant for success is that great persuaders are nearly always willing to go first.
Just like Ryan, they will take the first step to say hello to someone and not wait for someone to say hello to them. They will offer their services and invest in others, often without being asked, thereby commencing a relationship where none existed before. They will uncover the things they have in common with others and use this common ground to forge a new relationship.
As a child, I moved to different schools several times, once in primary and once in secondary school. Both times in a sea of unknown faces I knew I needed a friend, and that they must be out there. Without exception I look back on the friends I have made in life and realize that those I approached were often the most like me (liking). They played the same games I did. They were my age. But it still took someone to take the first step. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was them. Either way I am glad one of us made the effort.
So the implication for you is, regardless of where you are in the world, if you want to influence someone, take a leaf out of the book of a small child. Put your fear aside and make the first move.  If someone is walking toward you in hallway, if you look down and say nothing chances are they will do the same. But if in that same hallway with that same person you look up and say “Hi!,” chances are they will immediately smile and say hi back…but you have to go first!
Look around and find those who are most like you and start there. Uncover the things you have in common and start a conversation, you never know where it might lead.
Of course you don’t have to do this, but as I am now finding out with my daughter, if you don’t, it will quite possibly lead to comments like, “Nobody wants to talk to me,” or “Nobody wants to hang out with me.” As I am now gently pointing out to her, if you don’t make the first move chances are nothing will change. So stop complaining, get off the chair and do something about it. While this is often met with rolling eyes or protests of complaint, she is always happier at the end of it. 
Through this blog, Brian has brought you many great tools, concepts, ideas and research to help you influence others. The key to it all, though, is you must be willing to give it a try! 
Good luck and I will look out for you next time I am in the sandpit of life!
Anthony

Aligning the Principles of Influence with Aristotle’s Ethos, Pathos and Logos

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Aristotle is credited with the following definition of persuasion: “The art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.”
Pause and think about it for a moment. Isn’t that a great definition? If someone is already doing what you want there’s no need to communicate in order to change anything. Unfortunately, all too often others aren’t doing what you’d like and you need to communicate with them in a way that changes that.
If I could change one word in Aristotle’s definition it would be to substitute “science” for “art.” In my mind art conveys natural talents or gifts that some people might feel they lack. Science on the other hand is something that can be learned by anyone.
When it comes to the science of influence it may surprise you to know we have more than six decades of research from social psychologists and behavioral economists on the psychology of persuasion. That means we now have scientifically proven ways to communicate more effectively. In the business world we might say there are “best practices” when it comes to effectively communicating.
Aristotle taught people three criteria for effective persuasion: ethos, pathos and logos. We’ll take a look at each and see how Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence come into play.
Ethos refers to someone’s character and credibility. Two principles of influence come into play to establish ethos: liking and authority.
We know it’s easier to say “Yes” to people we know and like. That’s the principle of liking. If someone likes you the “halo effect” comes into play and they naturally give you the benefit of the doubt on many other attributes, which makes it easier to effectively communicate.
Influence Tip – A great way to get the liking principle going is to offer up genuine compliments. When you do that people feel good and associate those positive feelings with you.
We also know it’s natural for us to pay closer attention to people we view as credible – those who are wiser than we are, experts in their fields. This is the principle of authority at work.
Influence Tip – The more someone knows about your credentials and experience the easier it is to tap into ethos, so make sure they know your credentials before you speak.
Pathos is the connection the persuader makes with another when communicating. Liking and reciprocity both help build relationships so they’re what you want to try to tap into when establishing pathos.
The more someone likes you the easier it is to connect. Once you find out you have a few things in common with your audience they feel a sense of camaraderie and they’re open to what you have to say.
Influence Tip – Make sure you look for things you have in common and mention them early on. If you’re being introduced make sure a few personal items are shared before you speak. Something as simple as being married or having kids can get the ball rolling. You want your audience to know you’re just like them to make a connection.
Reciprocity tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who’ve first given to them. By doing something for others, helping them in some way, they will feel obligated to at least listen to you. Reciprocity, builds relationships because when you help others they feel good about you.
Influence Tip – Look for ways to genuinely help people before you ever ask anything of them. Once you’ve done that and need their help they’ll be much more likely to say “yes.”
Logos is the logical use of words. It’s the factual argument to be made. Consensus, consistency and scarcity come into play here.
Consensus tells us people tend to move with the crowd. When we know large numbers of people, or people just like us, are doing something we are more likely to go along with it. This is logical because historically there’s safety in numbers. As the old saying goes, “Everyone can’t be wrong.” Well, at least the majority of the time everyone isn’t wrong so it’s usually a good bet to follow the crowd.
Influence Tip – Make sure you talk about what others are doing to “invite” your audience along because it’s only logical for them to move with the crowd.
People work very hard to make sure their words and deeds match. In fact, we all feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to be consistent in what we say and do. This is the principle of consistency.
Influence Tip – Find out whatever you can about your audience before you speak and make sure you relate your request back to what they’ve said, done, believe, etc. After all, it only makes sense for people to stay true to themselves.
Scarcity alerts us to the reality that when something is rare or dwindling in availability it makes us want it more. Again, quite often it’s the logical thing to seize opportunities before they go away. Doing so also helps us avoid regret over lost opportunities.
Influence Tip – It should be your goal to share what makes you, your organization, or your offering unique in some way. In other words, what does somebody stand to lose by not going along with your request?
So there you have a quick summary of Aristotle’s methodology tied to Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence. Tying the concepts from these brilliant thinkers is a great one-two combination for more effective persuasion.

** To vote for Robert Cialdini, President of Influence At Work, for the Top Management Thinker of 2013 click here.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
InfluencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Thinker Personalities

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Here comes your biggest challenge thus far; trying to persuade one of the smartest people to ever walk the planet – Albert Einstein! Talk about intimidating; he’ll see through every psychological ploy you toss at him. If you were going to ask Einstein for something, how would you persuade him to say “Yes?”

In our final week we’ll consider how best to persuade someone who is a thinker or analytical personality type. When I think of this personality type, Einstein comes to mind because he would be someone more task-oriented than relationship-focused. However, unlike Donald Trump, he doesn’t seek to control situations and other people. Instead, he would be someone more focused on self-control. The follow describes the thinker/analytical personality type:

Very task driven; can be slow to act because they like to think things through; exercise good self-control; don’t consider themselves assertive; like data to support decisions; usually take a logical, systematic approach to things; like to see track records and trends to support ideas.

Of the four personality types, the second most often identified was the thinker at 29%. The one chosen most often was the pragmatic (32%), then expressive (24%) and finally amiable (14%).

Because thinkers are task-focused like pragmatics, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking much less than did the amiable and expressive personality types. Those personalities are much more relationship-oriented than they are on prioritizing tasks. Some influence advice when dealing with a thinker:

Using the liking principle is okay because it’s socially acceptable but you don’t want to spend much time here because thinkers are not concerned with being your friend. Don’t take offense but most of the time their thoughts are off somewhere else.

Pulling the reciprocity lever – doing things in hopes of a return favor – won’t be an effective strategy either. Thinkers will certainly accept whatever you give them but it won’t be a high priority for them to find ways to repay the favor.

More than any other personality type, when it comes to making business decisions, helping thinkers deal with uncertainty should be your top priority.

Thinkers were more persuaded by the principle of consensus – what others were doing – than any other personality type. It’s not that they just go with the flow; rather they can be persuaded by what others who are like them happen to be doing. So tell Einstein what Tesla, Edison or other classic thinkers are doing and he’ll listen.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts – the principle of authority – is more effective with this group than any other personality type! One other expert is good but many (consensus) will be your best bet when trying to persuade a thinker.

Consistency – what someone has said or done in the past –was also high for thinkers. Only pragmatics had a higher score. Pragmatics may believe they’re right in what they say and do because of their egos. Thinkers believe they’re right because they’ve put so much time and energy into their decision before they act on it or share it. Tie your request to what a thinker has said, done or professes to believe and your odds of success go up dramatically.

Scarcity was the least effective principle with this personality type. Odds are they’ve thought about your offer, perhaps researched it, so if it’s not actually rare or going away they’ll see right through it. You’ll get much more response by helping them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business environment.

When it comes to the thinkers you know they may not be as extreme as Albert Einstein. However, you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles because they’ll help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for thinkers:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

I hope you’ve found this series on personality types helpful. When it comes to persuading people, where you have a handle on their personality type, plan accordingly and you’ll be far more successful than if you simply wing it. Also, setting the stage – what you do before you attempt to persuade – will be extremely helpful.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Amiable Personalities

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How would you like to meet Sandra Bullock? She always plays characters that are so nice and now she’s going to be nice to you. Imagine for a moment you have a big favor you want to ask her. How will you persuade her to say “Yes?”

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an amiable or facilitator personality type. When I think of an amiable, Sandra Bullock jumps out at me because she seems to be someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. But unlike Oprah, she doesn’t seek to control situations and others. Rather, she prefers to focus on self-control. The follow describes this personality type:

Amiable people really enjoy relationships; tend to focus more on feelings than facts; don’t consider themselves very assertive; are usually willing to set aside work if someone needs to talk; don’t like change; when they need help they prefer a real person to help them even if it takes more time.

Of the four personality types, fewer people taking my survey identified themselves as being amiable (14%) when compared to the other personalities: pragmatic (32%), expressive (24%) and thinker (29%).

Because amiable personality types are relationship-oriented, like the expressives, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, personalities that are much more task focused than they are on relationship building. Some influence advice when dealing with an amiable:

Make it a point to work the likingprinciple with these folks, because they want to know and enjoy the people they interact with. Can’t you just image Sandra wanting to get to know you and be your friend before you get down to business? I sure can. The good news is, if she likes you then she’ll probably go out of her way to help you.

While amiable personality types didn’t respond to reciprocityas much as the expressives they did place a higher value on it than thinkers and pragmatics. Do them a good turn or something thoughtful and it’s highly likely they’ll look for ways to return the favor.

Like the other personality types, when it comes to business decisions, helping amiable people deal with uncertainty is huge.

Amiable folks were persuaded by what others were doing – the principle of consensus– a little more than thinkers and expressives. When it comes to personal decisions consensus is even more important. This makes sense for someone relationship focused because they would rather go with the flow than buck the system.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts is the most effective route with this group.  However, despite the fact that authority was the #1 principle chosen by amiables, it was not as effective as it was for thinkers and pragmatics.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for amiables. With these folks it’s not about being right as much as it is feeling obligated to live up to their word. My guess is part of this has to do with being liked. If you can tie your request to his or her beliefs or values the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly. You’ll also learn more about them so you can connect even better.

Scarcitywas least effective with this personality type when compared others. If something is truly rare or going away, by all means incorporate that into your request but don’t spend much time on it. You’ll get far more out building a relationship (liking and reciprocity) and helping t them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business setting.

When it comes to the amiables in your life they may not be as nice and personable as  Sandra Bullock, but you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles that will help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for amiables:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the final personality type, the thinker, also known as the analytic.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Expressive Personalities

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You are one lucky person because you just got another big break! This week you’re meeting Oprah Winfrey! You’ve been given 15 minutes to talk with one of the few people who can make or break your career just my mentioning your name. How will you influence Oprah to give you that positive mention or perhaps airtime on one of her shows?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an expressive or influencer personality. When I think of an expressive, Oprah Winfrey immediately comes to mind because she’s someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. Like the Trump, Oprah also likes to control situations and others. The follow describes this personality type:

Expressives like being part of social groups; enjoy attending events with lots of people; are more in tune with relating to people than working on tasks; are imaginative and creative; can usually win others over to their way of thinking; like things that are new and different; have no problem expressing themselves.

If I had to sum up expressive personalities in a word I’d say they’re balanced. Of the four personality types their answers had the least amount of variance. In other words, all of the principles of influence work well with them.

Because expressive personality types are relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey that they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, two personalities that are task focused much more than they are on building relationships. Some persuasion advice when dealing with an expressive:

Definitely spend time engaging the likingprinciple with them, because they want to like the people they interact with. Oprah certainly cares about closing the deal but she also cares about you and your story so look for ways to connect with her. If she likes you it’s a good bet she’ll go out of her way to help you.

Expressive personalities responded more to reciprocitythan any other personality type so look for ways to genuinely help them and they’ll respond in kind much more than pragmatics or thinkers will.

As was the case with pragmatics, in a business setting overcoming uncertainty is key for expressives.

Sharing trends and what others are doing – the principle of consensus– can be quite effective with expressives. Oprah types want to move the masses and they know it’s easier to swim with a wave rather than against it so share what many others are already doing.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effectiveroute with this group.  However, while authoritywas the #1 principle chosen by expressives, it wasn’t as effective as it was with the other personalities. Show Oprah the numbers or share insight from experts and it will give her pause to consider your request.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for expressives. For this group it’s not as much about being right as it is being true to themselves and what they believe. Look for ways to tie your request to his or her beliefs or values and the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly.

Scarcitywas no more effective for this group than the others. Definitely don’t force the issue unless something is truly rare or diminishing. Oprah Winfrey and her expressive friends don’t like to miss out on opportunities but just know you won’t be as effective with the scarcity strategy as you might be with Donald Trump and his pragmatic buddies.

When it comes to the expressives you know, they may not be as expressive as Oprah Winfrey, but there are still principles that will be more effective than others. As I noted at the beginning, there is less variance with the principles for this group when compared to others. In order, here are the most effective principles:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the amiable personality, sometimes known as the facilitator.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Pragmatic Personalities

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Here it is, your big break – you have a meeting with the Donald! That’s right, Donald Trump has agreed to give you 15 minutes to pitch your idea. How will you go about persuading him to get a yes answer?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is a pragmatic or driver personality. In my mind, Donald Trump is an off-the-charts pragmatic because he’s someone who is more task-oriented as opposed to relationship-focused and he likes to control situations and others. The following describes this personality type:

Pragmatics generally want quick results; are more focused on getting things done than chatting with people; prefer taking control of situations; sometimes act before thoroughly thinking things through; are assertive; not afraid to take risks; appreciate getting to the point quickly.

Because pragmatics are not relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far less than did the expressive and amiable personality types, two personalities that are people-focused much more than task-oriented. Some persuasion advice when dealing with a pragmatic.

Don’t be rude but don’t spin your wheels using the liking principle because they don’t care much about being your friend. Do you think Donald cares more about being your friend or possibly closing the deal? I bet he wants to close the deal.

Don’t try to pull the reciprocity lever by doing favors with an expectation that it will be a difference maker because it probably won’t help too much. Donald will gladly accept what you offer but it’s doubtful it will be top of mind for him to think about how to repay the favor.

Uncertainty can be bothersome for pragmatics so when they’re not sure what to do they tend to respond to a couple of principles more than others.

Pragmatics generally don’t care what everyone else is doing but it can be persuasive to tell them what others just like themare doing. While they don’t respond to the principle of consensus as much as other personalities it was nonetheless one of their top choices. Donald Trump doesn’t care what the run of the mill businessperson is doing but he cares what respected peers are doing so do some research and incorporate your findings into your presentation.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effective route with this group.  In fact, in more than half the cases where authority was a choice, pragmatics went with it! Show Donald what the numbers are or share what respected experts have to say and he’ll give that more weight than anything else.

Motivating pragmatics to action can be easy if you know which principles to look for. Generally, you want to use consistency or scarcity.

When it came to using consistency – what someone has said or done in the past – pragmatics were more motivated by this principle than any other personality style. In fact, it was their second most often chosen reason when it came to being persuaded. When Donald Trump says something do you think he believes he’s right? Of course he does, so tie your request to his previous words, actions or beliefs and your odds of success go up dramatically. I can back up that claim because I saw this to be the case on an episode of The Apprentice.

While scarcity wasn’t one of the top three choices for pragmatics, using this principle was more effective with pragmatics than any other personality type. Think about Donald Trump – he hates to lose! Talk about what pragmatics might lose by not going along with what you’re proposing and you’ll get more compliance than you would by talking about what they might gain or save.

When it comes to the pragmatics you know, they may not be as extreme as Donald Trump, but nonetheless there are certain principles that will be more effective than others. In order of effectiveness they are:

  • Authority
  • Consistency
  • Consensus
  • Scarcity
  • Reciprocity
  • Liking

Next week we’ll take a look at the expressive personality, sometimes known as the influencer.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.