Tag Archive for: psychology of persuasion

The Hidden Recesses of Your Mind

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The human mind is perhaps the greatest creation in the universe. In the past century we’ve started to unlock the mysteries of the mind through scientific study. Here are a few interesting brain facts:

  • Your brain consumes approximately 20 percent of your calories but accounts for about 2 percent of your weight.
  • It’s not true that we only use 10 percent of our brains.
  • There 100 billion neurons in the brain, six times more than the number of people on earth.

Several weeks ago I wrote a post called What The Hell Were You Thinking? and shared stories about how we often do things but don’t realize why we do them. Malcolm Gladwell explored this in his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. He shared several studies that showed mere exposure to words and ideas can change people’s behavior. For example:

  • People exposed to words typically associated with the elderly walked slower after seeing the words.
  • People who wrote a paragraph about the last book they read got more Trivial Pursuits questions correct than those who wrote about a fight at a soccer game.

The reason this is top of mind is because of something that happened not too long ago. I was in the middle of replying to an email when I realized I was supposed to be on a conference call. I dialed in but kept my eye on the emails coming in regarding the issue I was involved with.

After a few minutes a young coworker I’ve been mentoring resolved the issue to the delight of another coworker. His handling of the situation was brilliantly orchestrated so I replied, “Well–played, maestro.” I pasted a picture of a maestro in the email to be light-hearted.

When I returned my full attention to the conference call it leaped out at me when the vendor we were talking to referred to a version of their product called…Maestro!

When I referred to my coworker as maestro and pasted the picture in the email I had no recollection, none whatsoever, of that word having been mentioned on the call! But without a doubt it was fixed in my subconscious and impacted my behavior just as Gladwell described in his book.

This brings to mind a time when Jane told me about a dream she had. In the dream she described a woman with a red top and white pants. It was no coincidence to me that the night before we’d met a woman, a friend of a friend, who was wearing a red top and white pants. Jane didn’t remember meeting her but it was apparent that despite the lack of memory it was the reason for the woman in her dream.

The human brain is fascinating and despite all we know there is much we still have to learn. For you and I it’s important to understand that things our brain has taken in, but doesn’t consciously process, impact much of what we say and do. Every now and then we should pause and ask ourselves why we do what we do because not all of our decisions are good ones. When we make bad decisions we need to correct them before they become detrimental or before they become bad habits.

The Immediate Influence of Behavior

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Have you ever read Viktor Frankl’s classic work Man’s Search for Meaning? If you haven’t I can’t recommend it enough! It’s one of the most impacting books I’ve ever read. Despite the sobering description of life in Nazi concentration camps the book has sold more than 12 million copies since it was first published in 1946.

I recently suggested the book to several friends, so I decided to reread the book myself…for no less than the sixth time. Each time I go back to it something new jumps out at me and this time the following quote stood out, “The immediate influence of behavior is always more effective than that of words.”

Think about that quote for just a moment. Frankl’s insight from life in with most horrible conditions lines up with other similar observations from other great thinkers.

“Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.” – Aristotle

“Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Words do matter because they conjure up images, thoughts and feelings that lead to actions. Frankl acknowledged this when he wrote, “But at times a word was effective too, when mental receptiveness had been intensified by some outer circumstances.” However, as someone who wants to be an effective persuader your words will fall on deaf ears if your words and deeds don’t line up. “Do as I say, not as I do,” won’t cut it. After all, if you don’t believe what you’re saying or you don’t adhere to the principles you espouse then why would anyone else?

Nobody is perfect and people don’t expect you to be perfect. When you fail your best bet is to follow Dale Carnegie’s wisdom, “If you’re wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.” I believe most people are forgiving and many times you’ll actually gain credibility when you own up to your mistakes. This taps into what Robert Cialdini calls the principle of authority and the studies he cites show you can gain trust by admitting weakness or mistakes. The sooner you ‘fess up the better.

I observed this not too long ago when State Auto’s CEO Mike LaRocco interacted with employees across the country in an open forum. Since his arrival last May, Mike has encouraged a culture that embraces candor. During the open forum someone spoke up about fear of reprisal from managers when being candid and Mike made a flippant remark and basically blew off the person’s concern. But almost immediately he caught himself and said his response was wrong. He then proceeded to address the concern. Not only did his actions stand out to me, they stood out to many others I spoke with afterwards. He’s talking the talk and more importantly, he’s walking the walk.

So to come full circle, if you want to be effective when it comes to influencing others start with yourself and remember Frankl’s immortal wisdom, “The immediate influence of behavior is always more effective than that of words.” Be a person of consistency and integrity and you’ll enjoy far more professional success and personal happiness.

What The Hell Were You Thinking?

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What the hell were you thinking? Ever thought (or said) that as you interacted with someone? Anyone ever said that to you? I bet at least one person thought it because we’ve all done things without thinking.

There’s lots of research that clearly shows the vast amount of our behavior is driven by non-conscious forces. Martin Lindstrom, author of Buyology, believes 85% of what we do is driven by our subconscious. I’ve seen other stats that put that number closer to 95%. Bob Nease, author of The Power of 50 Bits wrote, “of the ten million bits of information our brains process every second, only 50 bits are devoted to conscious thought.” Wow, that’s not much!

Bottom line, we don’t always know why we do what we do because we don’t devote much effort to thinking about it. Henry Ford famously said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.” Using our brains in conscious thought takes a lot of energy and humans were built to conserve precious calories for survival – for activities like hunting, running or fighting off enemies. We may not need those precious calories for those same reasons in today’s world but the human brain has not evolved as rapidly as society.

I recall a time when Abigail was five years old and she overheard Jane and I talking about a couple that was going to move out of the neighborhood. Abigail asked if her friend Jordan was leaving and when we said yes, Abigail cried. It wasn’t the cry of a five-year old that wanted a toy or candy; it was a cry from a deeper place because she knew she was losing her best friend.

During the next week Jane told me Abigail had been acting like a brat. I said I thought it was because Jordan was moving. Jane didn’t agree but I said, “Think about how often we’ve said or done things and not known why. She’s five years old and knows her best friend is moving but doesn’t know how to process that so it’s coming out in bad behavior.”

During a drive I told Abigail that mom said she’d been acting bad. There was a guilty look on her face because she knew it was true. I told her I thought it was because Jordan was moving and explained why. Abigail is 20 years old now and still remembers that conversation.

One more story. When I was in high school I was expelled for three days for inappropriate language towards a teacher. The teacher and I disagreed on something and when she said, “If you don’t like it you can leave,” I responded with, “Fine, I don’t give a damn. I’ll get the hell out of here.” She tracked me down in the hallway and to her credit she gave me every opportunity to apologize. Being an angry, testosterone-filled teenager, I refused and suffered the consequences.

Here’s the reality. My parents were going through a divorce and that certainly was having an impact on me but I had no clue. If you would have tried to tell me the divorce was impacting my thinking and behavior I would have denied it and insisted the teacher was an expletive. There’s plenty of research to show something like divorce has a huge negative impact on kids but as an angry teenager I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking or feeling when I responded to the teacher in an uncharacteristic way.

Why am I writing about this? When it comes to influencing others you need to understand where they’re coming from, why they’re doing what they’re doing even if they might not be fully aware. It’s not easy, especially if someone says or does something that offends you, but if you’re able to step back for a moment, trying to understand why they said or did something, you’ll probably respond in a different, better way. Seldom does matching intense emotion with intense emotion lead to a better outcome.

That teacher wasn’t an expletive. She was a good teacher and a good friend to my older sister. As I mentioned earlier, she gave me a chance to apologize and I didn’t take it. The result was a three-day suspension and I suspect loss of being a National Honor Society student as a junior.

What the hell was I thinking? I didn’t know then but I do now. I encourage you to give more thought to why you do what you do and a little more grace to others when you wonder what the hell they’re thinking.

Get Everything You Want Every Time All the Time – NOT!

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If you read this post it’s guaranteed you’ll get everything you want every time, all the time. Of course that’s not true but it’s what some people would like you to believe because people love the easy way out. Let me read a book, read a blog post and I’m good.

Understanding the science of influence is no guarantee that you’ll always get what you want any more than understanding how to live healthy ensures you’ll never get sick.

But, knowing how to ethically influence others will increase the odds that you’ll get what you want more often, just like living a healthy lifestyle will increase your chance to live longer and in better health. Neither is guaranteed but smart people would do well to listen to science in both cases and do their best to employ it.

This came to mind recently when I wrote about Southwest Airlines and how I didn’t get what I wanted. A reader emailed me and wrote, “I thought you were an expert on persuasion? How come you couldn’t use your ability, knowledge and experience to persuade the airline otherwise? Not a very good advert for you talents I’d suggest.”

I replied and in his follow-up email he apologized saying his email was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. We had a good exchange but it got me thinking about this issue of failure.

Failure isn’t always bad because sometimes it can be used to your advantage. The principle of authority is based on two factors – credibility and expertise. You have to be an expert to leverage the principle but you also have to be credible. Did you know your credibility could be enhanced when you admit weakness? That’s so because you gain trust.

Here’s the reality – no person gets what they want all the time. As I noted in the opening, there are books, blogs and speakers who will tell you that you can, but don’t fall for it!

Consider this; Dr. Robert Cialdini, author of Influence Science and Practice, the most cited living social psychologist in the world on the topic of persuasion, sometimes doesn’t get what he wants. On one of his CDs he shared a story where he failed to persuade someone working at the gym he belonged to to allow him to use the phone after he’d locked his keys in his car. Sounds simple enough to persuade a guy folding towels for such a small favor but Cialdini couldn’t do so on that particular day.

If the recognized authority on influence can fail on occasion then I don’t feel so bad for not being able to persuade Southwest Airlines to bend their rules for me. And trust me, you will fail too!

Two people can go to the same physician, trainer, or life coach and do everything the same but get different results. However, I would venture to guess both people would be better off following the sound advice.

The science of influence is based on nearly 70 years of research, not someone’s good advice. If you learn what the science says, then look for opportunities to ethically and correctly approach situations using that science, you will be more persuasive most of the time. You can take that to the bank.

As for me, I did fail in my attempt to persuade Southwest. However, I turned lemons into lemonade because I got not one but two blog posts from the experience. On top of that, I learned a few things and I hope you did as well.

Have We Changed or Are We Just Politically Correct?

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I’ve never been as fascinated by the political process as I am right now. My fascination has more to do with how the process has been flipped upside down by people like Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump.

In August I wrote a post on Donald Trump’s mASS Appeal where I shared some insight into why so many people might be attracted to The Donald. My basic premise was that he was more “real” than traditional political candidates. If you want to find out more about fake candidates read The Adjustment Bureau of Politics and Persuasion.

As the primary races continue, I’m amazed Trump continues to have such mass appeal. Quite frankly, his rhetoric scares many people and some have equated his rise to Hitler’s in Germany because he says things that have been labeled as bigoted, racist and intolerant. Many politicians have said more benign things and seen their careers go down the toilet but Trump is unapologetic and only seems to increase his support.

How does he do it? Trump’s support is not as big as you might think. While his support seems to be greater than any other candidate at this point consider the following:

  • Roughly half of the citizens vote Republican in presidential elections. If there were 100 possible voters that means about 50 would identify as Republican and maybe vote in the Republican primaries.
  • Good voter turnout would be about 60%, so of those 50 possible Republican voters only 30 would actually vote in the primaries.
  • Up to this point Trump has been getting about 1/3 of the Republican vote in a large field of candidates leaving the others to fight for the remaining 2/3. If one-third of 30 people voting go to Trump that means he get support from 10 people.
  • Now consider this – on the whole Trump is appealing to about 1 in 10 people. That’s not a big number but it’s enough at this point to make a big difference in the process.

Why is Trump’s message resonating? We get more and more “politically correct” but that doesn’t mean people believe in the things espoused or like them. What do I mean? Everyone has views on polarizing issues like faith, gay marriage, guns, race, immigration, terrorism, and wealth distribution to name just a few. While we all have views many people stay silent because they don’t want to go against the perceived majority.

You may or may not like what Trump says but when he speaks his mind he doesn’t care what people think. His frankness gives voice to many people who’ve felt silenced by political correctness. In other words, Trump is only saying what many people already think and feel.

In the end I think Trump’s success, whether or not it leads to the presidency, says as much about us as Americans as it does about candidate Trump. We may want to believe there’s no place for a person like Trump in American politics but obviously there is a place because we’re witnessing it.

While America is more tolerant than ever before maybe in the end Trump’s rise shows we’ve not come as far as we believed. And perhaps this is a wake up call to keep the dialogue open so we can learn and grow instead of smiling and nodding but disagreeing on the inside. As Samuel Butler wrote, “He who complies against his will is of his own opinion still.”

The Right Comparison Can Make All the Difference in Persuasion

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Have you ever run five miles? That’s not easy to do if you’re not in shape. How about this — have you ever walked five miles? That’s not as hard as running but can be taxing depending on your fitness level. Do you think it would be more tiring to walk in 70, 80, or maybe 90 degree weather? Throw on top of that playing a round of golf over four hours and it would be pretty tiring for just about anyone.

In 2001, golfer Casey Martin challenged the PGA Tour rule that prohibited golfers from using a cart on the tour. His challenge arose because of a rare blood disorder that caused circulation problems in his legs. Part of the PGA contention was that walking causes fatigue and is therefore an intrinsic part of the game. Casey Marti’s legal team disagreed. From The PGA Tour, Inc. v. Martin Supreme Court case in 2001:
“The District Court credited the testimony of a professor in physiology and expert on fatigue, who calculated the calories expended in walking a golf course (about five miles) to be approximately 500 calories ‘nutritionally … less than a Big Mac.’”

Walking the golf course burns fewer calories than a Big Mac? All of a sudden it doesn’t seem like such a monumental activity. Think about this for a moment; if Casey Martin’s legal team had simply cited 500 calories, the point would not have been as impacting. I’m sure everyone on the court could visualize a Big Mac. Martin eventually won the case.

Sometimes the right comparison can make all the difference when it comes to persuasion. Just using numbers doesn’t always work because they don’t always register for many people. Here are two more great examples of effective comparison points that led to change.

In Chip and Dan Heath’s best selling book Made to Stick, a story is shared about how unhealthy a medium-sized buttered popcorn was in the mid ‘90s. Trying to persuade movie theaters to change was going nowhere despite the fact that the popcorn had 37 grams of unsaturated fat. It didn’t register just how unhealthy that was until it was eventually pointed out how buttered popcorn compared to other foods. Did you know you’d get that much unsaturated fat (37 grams) if you ate bacon and eggs for breakfast, a Big Mac with large fries and Coke for lunch, and then had a steak and loaded potato for dinner…all in the same day! None of those meals is healthy but eating all three the same day with any consistency would eventually lead to obesity. That’s how much fat those who ate the medium-sized buttered popcorn were getting in the mid-90s. Thankfully theaters eventually changed their ways.

McDonald’s coffee case is noted in WilliamPoundstone’s book Priceless. You may recall an elderly woman severely burned herself when she spilled a piping hot cup of McDonald’s coffee on her lap. It led to an eight-day hospital stay for the 79 year-old woman. She won a $2.86 million dollar settlement. While that may seem outrageous, it only came after McDonald’s refused to settle for $20,000. Her lawyer took it to trial and didn’t ask for nearly $3 million. Instead he asked for one or two days of McDonald’s revenue from the sale of coffee. That doesn’t sound so bad except revenue was $1.35 million per day!

One last example came from the late Steve Jobs. He introduced the first iPod, which he pulled out from the front pocket of his jeans, saying, “A thousand songs in you pocket.” Wow, that amounted to more songs than most people had in their entire CD collections!  I doubt Jobs would have been nearly as effective if he’d have said, “10 gigabytes in your pocket.” Even techies wouldn’t be as moved by that as they were when he announced 1,000 songs.

Next time you’re going to attempt to persuade someone, or a group of people, think about the comparisons you would normally make. Then take a moment to consider other possible comparisons that are naturally available. It could be calories versus real food, money or objects money can buy, or songs versus gigabytes. Put the comparison in terms most people can grasp and you’ll have a much better chance for persuasion success.

The Southwest Airlines Love Affair is over and it’s Completely Irrational

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Yes, you read that correctly; my 12 year love affair with Southwest Airlines is over and truthfully, it’s irrational on my part and Southwest’s too. Perhaps you could say we have irreconcilable differences.

Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational and The Upside of Irrationality, uses studies from behavioral economists to prove we humans are not the rational beings we like to think we are…at least most of the time. One such study that highlights our irrationality is the ultimatum game.

In the ultimatum game, person A is given $10 and can choose to give any amount to a playing partner, person B, and keep the rest for himself or herself. How much would you give person B? Is $1 enough? After all, that’s better than nothing. Would you give $4 or $5? That seems like something a fair-minded individual would do. How about $6 or $7? It’s a rare person who would give away more than they would keep.

There’s a catch to the game; person B can reject the whole deal – meaning neither side gets to keep any of the money – if they don’t like what’s being offered.

Things change rather dramatically under conditions of perceived fairness. Person A almost always offers $4 or $5 in hopes of being viewed as fair because that usually leads to agreement. When agreement is reached everybody wins because both parties leave better off financially than they were before the game started.

If you think about it rationally though, if you were offered $1 that’s better than nothing and yet the vast majority of people don’t view it that way. If something “fair” isn’t offered, person B will almost always reject it…even to their own financial detriment.

Consider that for a moment – people willingly subject themselves to “injury” (take no money instead of a few free bucks) just to punish the other person when they feel they’re being treated unfairly. You need look no further than divorce court to see this play out in real life!

How does this impact Southwest and me? I fly a good bit but recently learned I had lost my A-List status with Southwest. When I called to find out why, I was told I needed 25 flights in 2015 but only had…24. I thought it reasonable to ask for an exception given my loyalty, increased flights in recent years, and because I had a December business trip I needed to reschedule till this spring. I’d be hard pressed to think of a handful of times I’ve flown other airlines the past five years and when I have it’s because I traveled with colleagues who had already booked flights.

My request was rejected three times at various levels over the phone and one last time after writing a letter. The reason Southwest wouldn’t budge was “to maintain the integrity of the [frequent flier] program.” I was shocked given the level of customer service I’d experienced with Southwest and my loyalty over the past dozen years. I would have expected that response from many other companies but not my beloved Southwest!

Being a persistent guy I finally emailed CEO Gary Kelly (you’ll never hear “Yes” if don’t ask, right?). At each level Southwest dug their heels and now I have, too, because I’ve made the choice to take at least a couple of flights on other airlines this year. It’s irrational because Southwest flights are almost always on time, their flight attendants are great, and the more I fly the better my chances at getting my coveted A-List status back. But like the person who feels they were treated unfairly in the ultimatum game, I don’t care!

For Southwest’s part, they could have made a loyal customer even more loyal by saying, “Mr. Ahearn, seldom do we make an exception like this but we can see you’re a loyal customer and we appreciate your business so we’ll do it this one time. Will you still be flying with us every chance you get?” Boom! I would have been happy and would have told them I’d absolutely fly Southwest at every chance. And you know what, I would have, because they would have used the principles of scarcity, reciprocity, and consistency on me at the same time. Making such an exception would have cost them almost nothing other than letting me to accrue frequent flier miles 25% faster. That benefit equates to me getting a free ticket 25% sooner which might cost Southwest about $100 assuming a I earn a $400 round trip ticket a year.

So Southwest has made an irrational choice, too, because when I choose to fly other airlines, Southwest will lose more revenue than they would have “given up” if they’d simply accommodated my request.

Much like the ultimatum game, there comes a point when everyone loses despite their best effort to persuade the other side. In this instance I lose and Southwest loses too. But, we’re all human after all so I’m sure it’s not the last time Southwest will stick to their guns nor will it be my last time to stick to mine.

The Adjustment Bureau of Politics and Persuasion

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Matt Damon starred in the 2011 movie, The Adjustment Bureau, in which he played the youngest politician to be elected to Congress. In the opening scene he has to address supporters after having lost an election bid for the Senate he clearly should have won.

During his consolation speech he begins to reveal the truth about himself and his campaign. He tells the audience everyone assumed his meteoric rise as a young congressman was due to his authenticity. He proceeds to tell people he’s not been authentic at all and starts by telling them a phrase he had just mentioned about his old neighborhood was made up and used only because it polled well with voters. He goes on to say his tie was chosen from 56 others because of what it signified. Then he tells people his campaign paid $7,300 to find out how to perfectly scuff his shoes to appeal to the widest array of voters. Ironically he was viewed more positively the day after the speech because he’d finally been truly authentic.

We’re knee deep in the political process in the U.S., so I thought it was time to share a little about persuasion in the political process. Damon’s revelation about his campaign is more real than you might imagine.

Over the years I’ve participated in many “marketing studies” and quite a few have centered on politics. During these political studies people are literally gathered together for the sole purpose of finding out which phrases resonate best with voters. Mind you, during the selection process participants are paired down so the pollsters understand if the phrases will work best with white, middle aged, conservative males making a certain amount of money or minority voters having a certain educational background, or soccer moms.

By a show of hands or in written format those conducting the marketing ask participants which sentence in each pair appeals the most. Examples might include:

A. A strong national defense
B. A strong U.S. military

A. Family values
B. American ideals

Let’s assume most people like A in both pairs.
Before you know it you will hear politicians talking about how “a strong national defense” is important and how the other party doesn’t care about “family values.”

I hope you’re seeing the picture that’s being painted. Very little of what you hear from people running for Congress, the Senate or president comes from their own words. What you’re getting is a republican or democratic made up persona designed to appeal to the most voters.

Part of the reason republican outsiders like Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina have gotten so much attention from the masses and media is because they’re not run of the mill puppet-like politicians who’ve been airbrushed to appeal to voters. For the most part – love ‘em or hate ‘em – they are presenting their real selves. To a lesser degree (only because he’s been in politics a long time) Bernie Sanders has a similar appeal for many democratic voters.

Most career politicians spout the “same old same old.” You only have to watch a few debates to hear the same politically correct jargon and talking points intended to appeal to the base.

For example, it always sounds as if every governor led the greatest comeback his or her state had ever seen. The skeptic in me always thought things were so bad with the economy in 2008 if you couldn’t boast about lower unemployment, increased spending on schools, new programs, etc., in your state then you would have been a terrible governor! Blah, blah, blah. The rising tide of an economic recovery helped every state look much better when compared to six or seven years ago.

So what are we to do? Pay attention to what’s said and see if you can confirm key facts. It’s amazing how politicians will tell us things that are not true or are a twisted version of the truth to support their points.

No candidate is perfect and none will hold your opinions or values on everything. In all likelihood there will be two or three core issues for each voter that will determine who they vote for. It may be healthcare reform, the economy, immigration, ISIS, foreign affairs, etc. No matter who you vote for there may be inconsistencies with their positions on other issues but then again each of us are inconsistent to one degree or another. Just make sure whoever you vote for is the person they present themselves to be and not some campaign consultant, poll-generated image designed to appeal to vote getting. Vote for a real person…if one happens to be running.

Why is Scarcity such a Motivator?

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We’ve just come through the holiday season and retail sales were up about 8% from a year ago according to MasterCard. It’s probably not a stretch for me to assume that all of you reading this took part in holiday shopping if for no other reason than to take advantage of the great sales that were so prevalent.

There is something about a sale that grabs our attention and there are two primary reasons we love to take advantage of the opportunities retailers present. Contrary to what you might think, it’s more than just saving a little cash.

First, we hate the thought of losing. That’s the principle of scarcity at work on us. We’ve become so conditioned by sales that we know when we don’t buy something on sale we’ve most likely overpaid; i.e., lost money. Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman’s research shows people feel the pain of loss more than they do the joy of gain. In fact, most people experience the pain of loss anywhere from 2.0-2.5 times more than the joy of gaining the same thing. In other words, as much as we like saving $100 we hate the thought of losing $100 much more. Again, not taking advantage of a sale equates to losing.

However, as much as we like a sale we do know there are plenty throughout the year so what’s a retailer to do to get us to take action immediately? When you throw in some kind of limit our desire for the sale item is greatly heightened. Think about it; if there were not a time limit (“Sale ends Sunday”) or limited supplies (“While supplies last”) we wouldn’t be as quick to take advantage of the bargains. After all, it’s also quite natural for many people to procrastinate.

But why is scarcity such a motivator?
According to Robert Cialdini’s best selling book Influence Science and Practice, it has to do with how we’re wired, i.e., our evolution as a species.

“One prominent theory accounts for the primacy of loss over gain in evolutionary terms. If one has enough to survive, an increase in resources will be helpful but a decrease in those same resources could be fatal. Consequently, it would be adaptive to be especially sensitive to the possibility of loss.” (Haselton & Nettle, 2006)

While some things may be changing rapidly (human knowledge is doubling every 12 months), human beings evolve slowly, very slowly. Most people probably don’t live in life and death situations like humans did thousands of years ago but our brain wiring is essentially the same. So that wiring that was designed to help us survive still exists today, only it’s tapped into in many ways that are not related to survival.

How does this impact you? In two primary ways:

If you’re a consumer make sure you don’t reflexively act on things. While the sale may look too good to pass up do you really think it’s the best sale there has ever been? Do you think it will never come back around again? The answer is most likely no in both cases. So take your time on major purchases and don’t be so quick to jump just because you see something is 30% or 40% off. It’s very likely there will be President’s Day, Memorial Weekend, Fourth of July, and Labor Day sales that are every bit as good if you can be patient.

When you’re a persuader look for legitimate scarcity in your product, service or offer. There may not be one thing that is totally unique but perhaps there is some combination of features or benefits that can’t be gotten elsewhere. Tout the combination to alert people to the uniqueness. And if there happens to be a limit on time or quantity make sure you mention it because it will increase the odds that someone will say yes to you.

In order to be a master when it comes to persuasion always look for the principles of influence that are naturally available. Then use those principles of honesty highlight what you’re talking about. Doing so will significantly increase your odds of getting to yes.

Goals Gone Wrong

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I’m a goal setter. It seems as if most people who succeed in life are goal setters too. After all, without a goal how will you know when you’ve achieved success? Goals give us something to shoot for, keep us on track and allow us to measure progress. All in all, goal setting is a very good thing…most of the time.

There’s the old adage, “What gets measured gets done,” and sometimes we come to realize our measurements got us focused on the wrong activities. Here are a few examples.

About 25 years ago, around the time I started with State Auto, I was a commercial lines underwriter. At the time, a point system was put in place to measure our work. A full day of work was 60 points and various tasks (new business, renewals, changes, etc.) were given specific point totals. People quickly learned how to maximize their points while minimizing their effort. It wasn’t uncommon for someone to announce before lunch that they’d hit their 60 points. That could be accomplished more easily by tackling simple policy changes rather than dealing with new business even though the new business was more important. In other words, we were not incenting the right behaviors for the outcome we wanted.

A personal example comes from me. I used to run marathons and was very competitive with myself. My goal was to qualify for the Boston Marathon, which I was able to do. To reach this goal, I would lay out a 24-week training plan with specific runs every day. Sometimes I became a slave to the plan. If a day called for an eight-mile run at a particular pace I was intent on getting eight miles at that pace come hell or high water. The only problem is sometimes my body was telling me to slow down, cut the miles or rest altogether. Not listening to my body usually resulted in injuries that only served to make reaching the ultimate Boston Marathon goal harder.

So what can you do so your goals don’t go wrong?

  • First, remember why. Constantly recall why you set the goal. This is why plans and strategies have been put in place. Success isn’t following the plan to the letter, it’s reaching the goal.
  • Second, be flexible. Don’t become a slave to the plan because sometimes flexibility can lead to better results over the long haul. (Remember my body telling me to rest.)
  • Third, don’t be afraid of change. If you see the plan is starting to distort the goal or it isn’t keeping you on pace to reach your goal don’t be afraid to change it or scrap it altogether.

Goal setting is good when it’s done right. If you read my post a few weeks ago on how to PAVE the Way to Success, then you know the principle of consistency comes into play when you set a goal and share it with others. As you set your 2016 goals, make sure they are Public, Active, Voluntary and Effortful.