Tag Archive for: scarcity

Parenting and the Garden of Eden

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Our daughter Abigail is just finishing her
junior year of high school. It’s hard to believe before the year is over she’ll
be 18 years old, officially an adult in the eyes of the law. I still remember
looking at her in her crib thinking, “I can’t believe she’s been with us 100
days already.”

 

I’ve learned so many things raising her,
especially when it comes to coaching and influencing others. We’ve been blessed
because she’s a wonderful person with an unbelievable heart for people.
This may seem like a paradox but we have
almost no rules and yet we almost never have to discipline her. You might think
someone with no rules would be a loose cannon, especially during the teen
years, but it’s been exactly the opposite.
Pondering this made me think how prohibiting
certain things can sometimes have the opposite of the intended effect, making
the person want to break the rules all the more. It reminds me of God
prohibiting Adam and Eve from eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
Evil. Once the tree was deemed off limits, Eve viewed something that was there
all along – the tree smack dab in the middle of the garden – in a new and
different way.
For those who’ve raised kids you know the
moment you tell them they can’t do, touch, taste, or listen to something, that
seems to be all the want.
I believe scarcity is at the root of the
issue. This principle of influence tells us people want more of what they can’t
have.  So tell a kid they can’t watch a
movie and their curiosity is piqued as they begin to wonder, “What’s so bad in
the movie that mom and dad don’t want me to see it?”
When comes to parenting I really knew we were
on the right track several years ago when my mom relayed a conversation to me
that she’d had with Abigail. My mom was talking about rules when Abigail would
get her license and Abigail told her she really didn’t have any rules. Of
course my mom insisted she did and Abigail replied, “No grandma, I really don’t
have any rules but I wouldn’t do anything
to break my parents trust.” Wow! I don’t think I could have asked for any
more than that.
How did we get to that point? I think two
things contributed significantly – time and communication.
As an only child we devoted lots of time to
Abigail. Jane gave up a successful career in insurance to stay home and raise
her. Losing her income necessitated other sacrifices too but they were all more
than worth it.
I made it a priority to be around as much as
possible to attend school events and participate in lots of father-daughter
activities like the YMCA’s Indian Princess program. When Abigail graduated from
that program we participated together in taekwondo for many years. It was
normal for us to hop in the car and go do something together multiple times a
week.
In the midst of all that time together I made
it a point to talk with Abigail a lot
and always gave her room to share her thoughts and feelings. As my good friend, and life coach, Dennis Stranges once said, I helped her find her voice so she felt free to
share whatever was on her mind and whatever was going on in her life.
When you have conversations like we had you go
beyond rules – do this, don’t do that – and spend time talking about the whys
behind the things we’d ask her to do or refrain from.
As she showed good judgment we kept extending
responsibility and emphasized that we’d continue to give more as she displayed
more responsibility. It feeds on itself in a very positive way and everyone
wins.
When I say we don’t have rules there are certainly
things we don’t want her to do, such as have sex, drink, try drugs or
participate in other activities that could be harmful to her. However, rather
than lay down rules, she knows if we ask (not tell) her to do something or
refrain from something that we have her best interests at heart. Consequently
things that worry so many parents during the teen years have been non-issues
for us.
So my advice to parents would be threefold – 1)
spend lots of time with your kids, 2) communicate with them, and 3) try
refraining from rules and instead discuss the whys behind what you ask of them.
The earlier in their lives you begin the better but it’s never too late to
start. And remember; give them the freedom to express themselves, even if you
don’t fully agree with their likes and dislikes. Doing so will build trust and
that’s where they’ll be open to what you have to share and that’s where you
might be able to persuade them into good behavior rather than trying to force
it.
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

How is Cool Influenced?

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I read an article questioning whether or not
Apple had lost, or is losing, its cool. Why should Apple be any less cool than
it was several years ago? After all, it’s the most valuable company in the
world at the moment. Is it because Steve Jobs and his dynamic, rebel
personality are gone? I’m not so sure about that because as an Apple user I
think the company’s products are fantastic and I’d imagine long time users
would say the products are better than ever.

As I started to ponder “cool,” it brought to
mind an episode from The Office in
which Michael Scott was trying to plan a celebration of his 15-year anniversary
with Dunder-Mifflin. To do this he enlisted the help of Jim, Pam and Dwight. At
one point during the brainstorming session Jim said of Dwight’s idea, “Now
you’re trying too hard and that’s just not cool.” Dwight responded, “Then I
guess I just don’t know what cool is.”
This begs the question, “What is cool?” I’m
dating myself with this reference but for those who grew up in the ‘70s one of
the icons of cool was Fonzie from the television show Happy Days. Fonzie was cool because he was so different from
Richie, Potsy, Ralph and the rest of the cast. Part of Apple being cool is that
it’s always been different than its competition. The tough part about that in
business is you never stay different for long.
Samsung’s Galaxy phone has many of the same
features the iPhone has and it has some things you can’t get with the iPhone
like the bigger screen. Marketing the bigger screen taps into the principle of scarcity. This principle of influence tells us people value things and want
them more when they’re less available, unique or different.
I believe scarcity goes to the heart of cool.
Fonzie was cool because he was different, a one of a kind. Part of the cool
factor for Apple is how it stays ahead of the curve with technology and usually
offers you something, or a package of things, you can’t get elsewhere.
Consider this question. If everyone had
dressed like Fonzie in Happy Days would
we have seen him as being so cool? Probably not. If everyone has an iPhone do
you think people will view it as being quite as cool as years ago? Probably not,
even if the technology is better.
Like beauty, cool is also relative. A
beautiful woman will not stand out as much when every woman is beautiful. If
you doubt that consider beauty pageants where every woman is a knockout but most
contestants quickly fad into the background as the pageant progresses. However,
those same women in your office, at the mall, or on the street would turn heads
because in those environments they’d stand out compared to the population in
general. That’s scarcity again, along with the compare and contrast phenomenon.
Much of cool’s scarcity comes in based on what
it’s compared to. Kids think they’re cool compared to their parents but within
the group of teens at school some of those same kids may not be considered cool
at all.
Ever notice how celebrities continually
reinvent themselves? Think Madonna, the queen of reinvention! Part of the
reason celebrities change so much is because their cool factor wears off as their
looks and character traits become more commonplace.
So how do you use this to be more influential?
Two areas to consider are you as an individual and your company.
When it comes to you on a personal level what
makes you unique compared to your peers and competition? I’ve seen people whose
signature is a bow tie and others who always wear colored shirts. Both stand
out in the world of dark suits, white shirts and regular ties. Remember, cool
is up to you to make. Being a “nerd” became cool after Revenge of the Nerds hit movie screens. All of a sudden being
really smart was cool if you could use that in ways to benefit others.
When it comes to promoting your company what
makes it stand apart from the competition? Does your business card look like
everyone else’s? Boring! Remember, if you do everything like the competition
then nothing stands out and you get no cool factor. In recent years many
insurance companies have gone from boring and bland to  much cooler through humorous ads. No longer do
people think of them as giant companies run by a bunch of grey–haired, middle-aged
men. They have a much younger, hip feel based on their ads now.
Whether it’s you personally or your company it
comes down to this; take time to consider your uniqueness. Can you combine that
with your strengths and passion to stand apart from your peers? If you can
leverage that you’ll gain some cool and probably more customers because
everyone loves cool.

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Scientifically Proven Way to Be Persuasive

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The following is an excerpt from Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, co-authored by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., Noah Goldstein, Ph.D., and Steve Martin. I wrote this several years ago, prior to becoming a certified trainer for Dr. Cialdini. I looked at what State Auto had to offer that was genuinely scarce, then honestly described it in a marketing email and we got terrific results. I hope it stimulates ideas for you to do something similar.

One of my responsibilities is to help recruit new independent agencies to represent our company. In our effort to do this, we sent marketing materials to prospective agencies so they could learn more about us. While we hope most agents read our communications, seldom did we receive any direct replies.

After learning about the principle of scarcity we realized we were missing out on an opportunity that had been right in front of us all along! We don’t do business in every state, and each year we set a modest goal for appointing new agents in our operating areas. We never thought to incorporate those facts, or our current progress, into the communications we were sending.

Understanding how scarcity can move people to action, we began to include something like this near the end of our communications: “Each year we have a goal of selecting just a few new agencies to partner with us. For 2006 that number was set at only 42 agencies across our 28 operating states, and so far we’ve appointed more than 35. It’s our sincere hope that your agency will be one of those remaining agencies we appoint before year end.”

The difference was noticeable immediately! Within days we began to receive inquiries. No extra cost, no new marketing campaigns, no product or system changes needed. The only change was adding three more sentences that contain true statements.

What does your company have that is scarce and can’t be gotten elsewhere? It may be that your uniqueness comes not through one feature but a combination of features. Your challenge as a persuader is to identify that combination of unique features then honestly inject them into your communications. Will you hear “Yes” every time? No, but it’s a sure bet you’ll hear that magic word more than you are today. I confidently assert that because science tells me so and our experience bore that out to be true.

Brian, CMCT®
influencePEOPLE
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Call to Lay Down Your Weapons of Influence

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In America there’s a debate raging and millions of people are lining up on opposite sides of the issue. The debate has to do with constitutional rights vs. public safety. You probably know I’m talking about the gun control issue that’s come to the forefront of national attention after the Sandy Hook tragedy last year. At the center of the debate is gun ownership and in particular assault weapons.

This post has to do with that debate because it’s about weapons. If you’ve read Robert Cialdini’s classic book, Influence Science and Practice, then you know it was born out of his curiosity about why he was such a “patsy” when it came to the “pitches of peddlers, fund-raisers, and operators of one sort or another.” He wrote, “I wanted to find out which psychological principles influenced the tendency to comply with a request.” Thinking of himself as someone who was taken advantage of more than he cared to admit, a few sentences later he characterized these psychological principles as “weapons of influence” because quite often they were used against defenseless people. I say defenseless because manipulators understood the principles but their targets of influence didn’t and that gave manipulators a huge advantage. Cialdini held to this viewpoint so much so that at the end of each chapter ideas are presented on how you can defend yourself against the manipulative use of these weapons of influence.

Nearly 30 years have passed since Influence first hit bookstores and times have changed when it comes to people’s views on influence and persuasion. After selling nearly 2.5 million copies, people have embraced the idea that the psychology of persuasion can be used in an ethical manner to create more win-win situations than ever before. People have embraced the concepts from Influence so much so that it was named the top sales and marketing book in The 100 Best Business Books of All Time.

Considering the change in attitude toward influence I’m writing today to ask people to banish the “weapons” terminology from their vocabulary when referring to the principles of influence.

Why now? As I scanned my Twitter feed one morning I saw a post that referred to one of the principles of influence as a weapon of influence. All of a sudden it didn’t sit well with me and as I analyzed it all the thoughts I’m sharing here came to mind. If I knew what was meant by “weapons of influence” and didn’t care for it I wondered how others might perceive the terminology.

First, the weapons terminology doesn’t conjure up positive thoughts, particularly during this time of tense, heated debate around the subject. If we truly believe small changes (i.e., using certain words at particular times in specific situations) can make a big difference – indeed that’s what influence is all about – then I argue “weapons” can’t be helping our cause when it comes to teaching people about the ethical use of influence. Consider the following:

If you didn’t know anything about influence how likely would you be to attend a workshop where you’d learn about using weapons of influence? Some people will go but I suspect many will subconsciously make an automatic decision not to consider the workshop.

How might your customer feel if they found out you were using weapons of influence on them? It’s not likely they’ll believe you’re using those weapons to defend them. Rather, I suspect they’ll feel you’re using those weapons against them in an effort to defeat them and get what you want.

We all know things can be used for good or bad. Guns in the hands of our military are good when they help defend our freedom. They’re not so good in the hands of bad guys. However, as I noted at the beginning, with the national debate raging, using weapons terminology will provoke the wrong images and emotions for too many people.

I prefer talking about ethical influence. When I teach I encourage people to look for principles that are genuinely available to the situation they find themselves in. If they look hard enough they’ll find some just waiting to be used.

Next you want to incorporate the principles into your request in a way that’s truthful. In other words, don’t tell people there’s a time limit – scarcity – if there’s not. Don’t tell people how “everyone” is using your product – consensus – when they’re not.

And finally, look for what Stephen Covey called “win-win” situations. Your product, your price, your idea, whatever you may be trying to persuade someone about will not be right for everyone. Sometimes honestly pointing that out will get you recommendations because people will trust you – authority!

In closing I ask you to join me and lay down your weapons of influence and in their place pick up the tools of ethical influence that build. I encourage you to start thinking of the principles of influence as tools that can help build relationships, overcome doubts and motivate people to action. Will it make a difference? I believe it will, because small changes can lead to big differences.

She Tricked Me into Marrying Her … Sort of

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This week Jane and I celebrate our 25th
wedding anniversary. On March 12, 1988, we exchanged vows before friends,
family and God in the Waynesburg Presbyterian Church. I have to say, it doesn’t
seem like 25 years ago!

A funny thing happened on the way to the
alter; Jane tricked me into marrying her … sort of. Actually she employed a
principle of influence but I’m not totally sure if she knew what she was doing.
We met on our first day of work and started dating
a few weeks later. Within weeks of that, I was telling friends she might be
“the one.” Things went along smoothly until my ex-girlfriend called and that
threw me for a loop. A few months of indecision ensued and what made it extra
difficult was Jane and I still worked together and saw each other daily.
We’d stopped going out sometime in early April
and one day in late April I saw Jane in the break room and asked how she was
doing. She said she was doing fine and wouldn’t go out with me again even if I asked.
Less than two weeks later we were going out and I asked her to marry me on her
birthday.
When I used to tell the story I bragged as if
I was some kind of stud that she just couldn’t resist. While I was doing that
Jane was probably telling her friends, “All I had to tell him was I wouldn’t go
out with him again even if he asked…and he asked me to marry him!”
In case you’re not aware of what happened,
Jane used the principle of scarcity on me. This principle of persuasion tells
us people want things more when they’re less available. I bet every one of you
reading this can think of a time where you stopped going out with someone or
were considering it but when you learned they liked someone else everything
changed. All of a sudden you wanted them more than ever!

In my defense, I’d like to think part of the
reason she said “yes” was because I engaged a little reciprocity. I planned to
ask her to marry me on her birthday to throw her off my real intention. I gave
her a dozen roses at work then showed up at her apartment with another dozen
roses and a bottle of wine that evening. She thought it was all for her birthday. Next I
took her to dinner in a Silver Cloud Rolls Royce I’d rented, driver and all. On
the way home I popped the question in the back seat and gave her the ring. She
couldn’t say no after all I’d done…she owed me!

Something happened after I asked her to marry
me. All the uncertainty that plagued me for months left and it was no longer an
issue trying to decide between the ex and Jane. I can honestly say I never
looked back and wondered “what if?” Because I’d made an active, public
commitment, the principle of consistency was now at work on me.
In all truthfulness, each of us was a bungler
of persuasion and we were lucky in our application of some of the principles of
influence. We were also bunglers in marriage at such a young age but overcame
obstacles and have been in a really good place for a long time. Just as life is
easier when you understand and ethically apply persuasion, marriage is easier
when you learn and practice two things to the best of your ability.
  1. Cherish the other person because time goes by quickly (scarcity). 
  2. Put the other person’s well being above your own. When you do,
    most of the time they will respond in kind (reciprocity).

I’ll conclude with this since it’s my
anniversary. I’d like to tell all of you that Jane is incredible! The more time
passes and I watch her continue to grow and mature, the more amazed I am at
her. If God had let me put together the perfect spouse I wouldn’t have come up
with someone as wonderful as Jane. Part of the reason is I wouldn’t have been
creative enough and the other part would have been a lack of faith that there
would be someone so beautiful, kind, smart, funny and so many other amazing traits.
I’m a very blessed man!

Brian, CMCT® 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Obamacare, Abortion, Gay Marriage and Christmas aren’t going away

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This post is going to upset some people and

that’s okay because we’re all entitled to our opinion. What I’m going to share
is my opinion but it’s rooted in the psychology of persuasion.

Obamacare, abortion, gay marriage and
Christmas aren’t going away anytime soon. It seems as though each of these
cause intense debate because there are passionate people on both sides of each issue
– those for and those against.
Why do I believe neither Obamacare, abortion nor
gay marriage will go away? In a word; scarcity. This principle of influence
tells us people value things more when they are rare or going away. It’s the
reason we react so strongly when we think we’re going to lose something.
Think back to childhood when you got that long
awaited privilege; to eat dinner in front of the television! You begged and
begged, for what seemed to be a lifetime, to get this golden opportunity. Then
one day your mom or dad caved but assured you it was a one-time thing. And
what happened the next day? You asked again but this time heard, “No.” You
protested, “But you let me yesterday!” Arguments became commonplace and I’m
willing to bet as time went by you ate in front of the TV more and more.
Parents are usually hesitant to extend privileges
like dinner in front of the TV, staying up later on school nights or getting
candy at the store because they know its inevitable there will be arguments
down the road. Once we have something we don’t want to give it up and I believe
the same principle will dictate people not wanting to give up these “rights.”
Women have enjoyed freedom of choice for
several decades; tens of millions will
enjoy access to health care with the passage of Obamacare; and more and more
people are heading to states where they can legally marry their same sex
partner. If the government tries to take away any of these rights/freedoms I
think there would be violent protest because it all goes back to scarcity, the fear of
loss. As hard as people worked and as vocal as they may have been to gain these
rights they’ll work even harder and be more vocal in their attempts to stop any
legislation that might repeal them.
How does this apply to Christmas? Every year
in December we hear people talking about “the war on Christmas.” Let me state
emphatically, there’s no “war.” Go ask a veteran who’s seen combat if the
debate over Christmas is anything like war and they’ll set you straight. There
are however, many people who want to limit or do away with Christmas for a
variety of reasons.
I believe Christmas will be around for a long
time too because so many people want to keep it. It’s the same psychology that
applies to Obamacare, abortion and gay marriage, and it will propel people to
fight hard to keep their Christmas traditions.
Another reason I think Christmas as we know it
will survive is because the other side isn’t fighting to gain something,
they’re only seeking to prevent people from tying in Christ to Christmas and
thus making it a religious observance.
As I noted earlier, people will work much
harder to keep what they have than they will to gain the very same thing.
Studies show the average person will work about twice as hard to keep the same thing,
as they will to gain the very same thing.
How does this apply to you? Understand
whenever you seek to take something from another person or limit them in any
way it’s very likely you’ll be met with resistance because that’s human nature.
So before you extend something – eating in front of the television, a new
compensation plan, an offer to help – make sure you’re willing to deal with
some rough consequences if you decide to change your mind because whomever
you’re dealing with will feel the pull of scarcity and react accordingly.

 

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Call to Lay Down Your Weapons of Influence

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In America there’s a debate raging and millions of people are lining up on opposite sides of the issue. The debate has to do with constitutional rights vs. public safety. You probably know I’m talking about the gun control issue that’s come to the forefront of national attention after the Sandy Hook tragedy last year. At the center of the debate is gun ownership and in particular assault weapons.

This post has to do with that debate because it’s about weapons. If you’ve read Robert Cialdini’s classic book, Influence Science and Practice, then you know it was born out of his curiosity about why he was such a “patsy” when it came to the “pitches of peddlers, fund-raisers, and operators of one sort or another.” He wrote, “I wanted to find out which psychological principles influenced the tendency to comply with a request.” Thinking of himself as someone who was taken advantage of more than he cared to admit, a few sentences later he characterized these psychological principles as “weapons of influence” because quite often they were used against defenseless people. I say defenseless because manipulators understood the principles but their targets of influence didn’t and that gave manipulators a huge advantage. Cialdini held to this viewpoint so much so that at the end of each chapter ideas are presented on how you can defend yourself against the manipulative use of these weapons of influence.

Nearly 30 years have passed since Influence first hit bookstores and times have changed when it comes to people’s views on influence and persuasion. After selling nearly 2.5 million copies, people have embraced the idea that the psychology of persuasion can be used in an ethical manner to create more win-win situations than ever before. People have embraced the concepts from Influence so much so that it was named the top sales and marketing book in The 100 Best Business Books of All Time.

Considering the change in attitude toward influence I’m writing today to ask people to banish the “weapons” terminology from their vocabulary when referring to the principles of influence.

Why now? As I scanned my Twitter feed one morning I saw a post that referred to one of the principles of influence as a weapon of influence. All of a sudden it didn’t sit well with me and as I analyzed it all the thoughts I’m sharing here came to mind. If I knew what was meant by “weapons of influence” and didn’t care for it I wondered how others might perceive the terminology.

First, the weapons terminology doesn’t conjure up positive thoughts, particularly during this time of tense, heated debate around the subject. If we truly believe small changes (i.e., using certain words at particular times in specific situations) can make a big difference – indeed that’s what influence is all about – then I argue “weapons” can’t be helping our cause when it comes to teaching people about the ethical use of influence. Consider the following:

If you didn’t know anything about influence how likely would you be to attend a workshop where you’d learn about using weapons of influence? Some people will go but I suspect many will subconsciously make an automatic decision not to consider the workshop.

How might your customer feel if they found out you were using weapons of influence on them? It’s not likely they’ll believe you’re using those weapons to defend them. Rather, I suspect they’ll feel you’re using those weapons against them in an effort to defeat them and get what you want.

We all know things can be used for good or bad. Guns in the hands of our military are good when they help defend our freedom. They’re not so good in the hands of bad guys. However, as I noted at the beginning, with the national debate raging, using weapons terminology will provoke the wrong images and emotions for too many people.

I prefer talking about ethical influence. When I teach I encourage people to look for principles that are genuinely available to the situation they find themselves in. If they look hard enough they’ll find some just waiting to be used.

Next you want to incorporate the principles into your request in a way that’s truthful. In other words, don’t tell people there’s a time limit – scarcity – if there’s not. Don’t tell people how “everyone” is using your product – consensus – when they’re not.

And finally, look for what Stephen Covey called “win-win” situations. Your product, your price, your idea, whatever you may be trying to persuade someone about will not be right for everyone. Sometimes honestly pointing that out will get you recommendations because people will trust you – authority!

In closing I ask you to join me and lay down your weapons of influence and in their place pick up the tools of ethical influence that build. I encourage you to start thinking of the principles of influence as tools that can help build relationships, overcome doubts and motivate people to action. Will it make a difference? I believe it will, because small changes can lead to big differences.

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Knowing Your Audience is a Key to Persuasion

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In late October, I was in Arizona to address the Arizona School Administrators on the science of influence. Jane and I went out early to enjoy the weekend in Scottsdale and spend time with friends. During our stay we had the good fortune to share lunch with Robert Cialdini, PhD., and his wife. The morning we were to dine, while on the treadmill, I pondered what we might talk about and what gem I might take away from our time together. In the midst of that run I came up with my own gem.
Understanding the science of influence isn’t a magic wand and it’s certainly no guarantee you’ll get everyone to do what you want. There are still plenty of times when I don’t get the response I want and even the master himself, Dr. Cialdini, doesn’t always get what he wants.
As the treadmill sped under my feet and my mind raced along I thought about a story Dr. Cialdini shares quite often when he speaks. Many years ago he was a member of a gym and one day he happened to lock his keys and wallet in the trunk of his car upon arriving at the gym. He asked Paul, the guy folding towels behind the front desk, if he could use the gym’s phone and was promptly told no. He persisted, explaining his situation and reminding Paul he’d been a member of the gym for years and that surely Paul recognized him. Paul didn’t budge from his original answer because of a bad experience with another member who abused the phone privilege the week before. Dr. Cialdini announced, “You’ve just lost a customer,” and walked out. Despite his best effort he was no better off and had to panhandle a quarter in order to call someone to come help him out.
A couple of principles of influence were at play in the conversation – liking and scarcity. Liking was at work because of Dr. Cialdini’s and Paul’s familiarity with each other. The connection obviously wasn’t strong enough because it didn’t persuade Paul to let him use the phone.
Scarcity was at play because Dr. Cialdini let Paul know he stood to lose something, a long-term customer. This didn’t move Paul either because he still didn’t allow him to use the phone.
As I thought about this it took me back to my day job – sales training with State Auto Insurance. In sales we place a lot of emphasis on knowing your customer because they’re not all alike and different things motivate different people. For example, at independent insurance agencies, a field rep wouldn’t want to talk about winning trips and earning a bonus to customer service reps because they usually don’t get to enjoy those awards. In fact, talking about those things can cause resentment. Understanding what motivates the CSRs then tailoring communications using the principles of influence will be far more effective.
Back to Dr. Cialdini and Paul. It’s my guess that Paul was probably a minimum wage guy and wasn’t about to possibly get in trouble by allowing anyone to use the phone after getting an earful from his boss the week before. Dr. Cialdini, likely caught up in the emotion of the moment, announced the gym would lose a customer but even that didn’t matter to Paul because it’s doubtful his pay was tied to customer retention. He was paid to follow the rules and guidelines.
So what could Dr. Cialdini have done differently? Setting emotions aside and understanding his audience might have changed his actions. Perhaps there was nothing that was going to get Paul to change on the phone issue but recognizing Dr. Cialdini as a gym member he could have allowed him inside where Dr. Cialdini might have used someone’s cell phone or borrowed a quarter from a familiar face. Either option would have been better than panhandling strangers to get the needed quarter.
I first heard this story many years ago and I’m not sure why it came to the surface at this time but whatever the reason, we should all be encouraged. Even the master fails sometimes so we should never let failure deter us. The right response should be to learn from the situation and resolve to try a different approach the next time. Do so and soon you’ll find yourself successfully persuading more often than not and that will lead to more professional success and personal happiness.
Brian, CMCT® 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

PEOPLE – What Does it Mean to Persuade?

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In recent years there’s been a proliferation of books and blogs on the subject of influence and persuasion. Some are quite good but many are nothing more than a rehash of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s material.

Another problem is this; what some people call influence or persuasion is nothing more than vague advice without any basis in scientifically proven data.
If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know what I share is often called “the science of influence” because findings are based on the research of social psychologists and behavior
economists.  In this series we’re working through the word PEOPLE and we now come to the second “P” which stands for Persuade. This begs the question, what does it actually mean to persuade someone?
A formal dictionary definition might read as follows, “to induce to believe by appealing to reason or understanding;
convince.” That’s okay, but I prefer Aristotle’s definition. Aristotle told the
world more than 2,000 years ago persuasion was “The art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.”
I like Aristotle’s definition because it’s nice and simple; get someone to do something they’re not currently doing. If you’re a manager and your employees make it to work on time everyday then you don’t
need to change their behavior and no persuasion is necessary. The same could be said of your child; if your child is doing his/her homework then you don’t need to persuade him or her to study.
But here’s the problem; quite often people aren’t doing what we’d like them to do and when that’s the case, we need to communicate with them in a way that hopefully leads to a change in behavior. How we communicate; i.e., persuade, can make all the difference in hearing “Yes” or “No.”
Earlier in this series I shared why influence is Powerful; because it’s rooted in science. What I share with readers isn’t just someone’s good advice because sometimes people’s “good’ advice has no bearing for you. And sometimes people succeed in spite of themselves! Imagine a
relatively healthy 85-year-old person telling you they’ve smoked two packs of
cigarettes a day for more than 60 years and tries to convince you it wouldn’t harm you. Would you want to emulate their behavior just because they’ve lived a good long life? Of course you wouldn’t. Like most people you’d probably prefer to know what decades of studies have to say about healthy eating habits and lifestyle choices.
And so it is with learning the science of
influence because it’s rooted in six decades of research by social psychologists and behavioral economists. We’re much better off following the advice of people who study this for a living vs. people who might have made it big more by chance than skill.
Having shared that, I’d change Aristotle’s definition ever so slightly by replacing “art” with “science.” Doing so makes our definition of persuasion read as follows, “The science of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” If
you’re in business you might say there are “best practices” in how to communicate if you want to get solid bottom line results.
So taking our lesson from science, here are a few examples of how you might want to alter your communication:
  • Stop making statements and start asking questions because it engages the principle of consistency. Once people give you their word they’ll do something, the odds of them following through go up significantly vs. telling them what to do.
  • Make sure people know your credentials up front. The principle of authority clearly shows that people listen to those with knowledge and expertise, but they have to know what your expertise is before you start talking.
  • Tell people what they stand to lose by not going along with your request because the principle of scarcity tells us people are more motivated by what they may lose as opposed to what they might gain.
  • Take extra time to personalize whatever you do for someone else. Reciprocity is the principle that tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them so going an extra step is usually met with a better response.

These are just a few ways to incorporate scientifically proven principles to persuade into your everyday communication. Next week we’ll examine the “L” in PEOPLE to see how persuasion can have a Lasting impact on people.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Finding Another Gear

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I was out for an early morning walk not too long ago and was startled when a big German Shepherd came running straight at me. It was apparent he didn’t want to play so I raised my hands to get ready for the inevitable when suddenly his owner appeared, called his name, and the dog turned back to his house.

The incident got my heart rate going and reminded me of a similar situation when I was in college. During the summer I worked at a golf course which was about 10 miles from my home. I didn’t have regular access to a car so I rode my bike to work most days. Riding home was a little dangerous because quite often I was riding around 10 or 11 at night on some very busy roads and a few that were not well lit.
Because riding at night wasn’t safe I tried to get home as quickly as possible. I made a game of it, setting a goal to always ride home faster than the night before. I tell you that so you’ll know I was pushing myself hard the whole time I rode. In fact, like most people who push themselves, I didn’t think I could go any faster every time I rode home. My perspective changed one night when I heard a large dog barking and it sounded really close! I was amazed at how much more I could push myself and at how fast I could ride when I summoned all my energy. It was as if all of a sudden I found a new gear!
So what does this have to do with influence? As I thought about the bike riding incident so long ago it made me think about teaching people influence. I believe most people work hard most of the time. They probably convince themselves they can’t work any harder or longer, much like I convinced myself I couldn’t ride any faster.
While I found I could ride faster, unfortunately my extra effort couldn’t be sustained for long because of muscle fatigue. The same thing applies at work. Although we can always work harder in any given moment, or longer some days, we can’t do so indefinitely or else burnout sets in.
Not to worry because I have good news for you! You don’t always have to work harder or longer to get better results. When you tap into scientifically proven ways to communicate you will get better results by weaving persuasion into what you’re already doing. That’s right; you don’t have to come up with a new sales process, new marketing campaign or any other new endeavor to take advantage of the science of influence. Just look at what you’re currently doing with your communication and see where you can apply the science of influence. I’ll give you a few personal examples.
Voicemail – I incorporate a branding message at the beginning of my message and use consensus in the middle when I say “I’m probably on the phone helping another customer.” The last thing you want is for people to hear, “I’m probably in a meeting or away from my desk.”
Email – My autosignature has my title and designations which is an application of the principle of authority. I also use my picture when I’m dealing with new people because a photo creates familiarity which taps into the liking principle.
Marketing – We regularly send marketing material to prospective insurance agencies in hopes of signing them up with State Auto. When we started alerting those prospects about our agency appointment goal, and where we were relative to that goal – an application of scarcity – we saw a noticeable uptick in agents responding to our marketing emails. Those extra communications become our opportunity to sell the merits of our company.
Each of those examples are probably the kinds of things you’re currently doing in your business. However, if you’re like me before I learned about persuasion, then you’re probably missing out on some golden opportunities that are right in front of you.
There’s a time and place for working harder and longer hours because success comes through hard work and a little luck at times. On the flip side there are also times when we need to slow down and work less because we can’t maintain the hectic pace all the time. Whether you’re in the phase of longer hours and harder work or a slower time, if you ethically employ the scientifically proven principles of influence you will get significantly better results immediately; finding another gear so to speak. I’m confident of this because science and personal experience back me up on it.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.