Why We Follow The Crowd…Even When We Know Better

Many years ago, when I still worked downtown, I had an “ah ha” moment about how easily we get swept along by the actions of others. The revelation occurred on my 15 mile drive to the office. It was early—just before 7 a.m. on a beautiful day. The sky was clear, the air was crisp, and, fortunately, traffic was light. I live in Columbus, Ohio, where an early start can make a big difference on the drive into the city. With my coffee in hand, I was cruising comfortably, a little over the speed limit but feeling relaxed and in control.

As I drove, I noticed a few cars far ahead and some in my rearview mirror, gradually catching up to me. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by cars. Almost instinctively, I found myself matching their pace. My initial speed of 70 mph crept up to 80 mph. I had unconsciously been swept along by the flow of traffic around me. And just when I realized this and decided to slow down, I spotted a highway patrol car up ahead. As you might imagine, I felt a wave of relief that I’d reduced my speed just in time to avoid a potential speeding ticket.

Reflecting on what transpired, I realized I’d experienced the principle of social proof in action. Social proof is a powerful psychological phenomenon where we look to others for clues on how to behave, especially when we’re in unfamiliar territory. In my case, I knew the speed limit, but seeing everyone else driving faster influenced me to unconsciously increase my speed.

This principle of influence all around us in our daily lives, not just on the highway. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’m not swayed by others’ behavior. I make my own choices.” But consider these scenarios:

• Do you stand during a standing ovation, even if the performance didn’t move you? Few people feel comfortable sitting while everyone else stands.
• Ever dressed a certain way to match the environment or crowd, only to look back at old photos and wonder, “What was I thinking?” I think everyone 50+ wonders that about clothing styles in their youth.
• Have you tried a restaurant’s “most popular dish” just because the server mentioned it?
• Or held back from grabbing food when someone says, “Dinner is ready”? We tend to feel more comfortable after a few people start filling their plates.

These are everyday examples of how we’re subtly influenced by the actions of those around us. It’s part of being human—our desire to fit in, to be part of the group, to go with the flow.

And most of the time, it works in our favor. Going along with the crowd helps us feel connected, promotes social harmony, and often leads to good decisions. But sometimes, it can steer us in the wrong direction, leading to risky behaviors or choices that don’t necessarily align with our values.

Think about the power of social proof in these contexts:

• Driving habits: Excessive speeding isn’t just illegal; it’s dangerous. Yet, we often speed up just to keep up with traffic.
• Peer pressure: For teenagers, fitting in can mean making poor choices related to drinking, drugs, or risky behaviors.
• Workplace culture: How often do we hear, “Well, that’s just how things are done here”? Following the crowd at work, especially when it involves cutting corners or unethical behavior, can have serious consequences.

This week, I challenge you to reflect on your own behaviors. Are you doing things because you genuinely want to, or are you feeling an unconscious pressure to conform? Are your choices truly in your best interest, or are they meant to please others or fit into a group?

Remember, there are people who understand the science of influence and use it to their advantage—usually ethically, but sometimes not. Recognizing when you’re being swept along can help you take back control. Stay aware, stay true to your values, and navigate the highway of life on your terms.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!