You’re Just Like Jesus—A Life-Changing Reframe

A few weeks ago, I posted a story on LinkedIn about reframing. It was about helping an employee shift from nervousness to excitement, a small tweak with big ripple effects on her professional and personal life. That memory jogged another—the most significant reframe of my life.

Reframes can change perspectives in profound ways, often giving others clarity and meaning. Let me share two pivotal moments in my life before diving into my ultimate reframe.

The first was accepting my first job after college with Travelers Insurance. It wasn’t just a career starter—it was the day I met Jane, my wife. 

The second was an email I sent to Stanford about Dr. Robert Cialdini’s work. That email turned into a phone call, which turned into a career, and here I am—a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer, blessed to help others harness the power of ethical influence.

But the reframe I want to tell you about isn’t career-related—it’s about family, faith, and the power of perspective.

The Gift of Reframing Abigail’s Story

After years of trying to have children, Jane and I opted for in vitro fertilization (IVF) on the advice of a couple of doctor friends in our small group Bible study. It wasn’t an easy road—our first attempt failed. But the second try brought us Abigail, our source of joy. Jane and I often wondered how to explain Abigail’s unique start in life.

When Abigail was 12 years old, the answer presented itself. One evening, Jane and Abigail were watching a TV show that mentioned IVF. Jane decided it was time to share Abigail’s story.

The next day, over dinner, I asked Abigail how she felt about what her mom had shared. Like any preteen, her answer was nonchalant: “Nothing.” That’s when inspiration struck.

I smiled and said, “You know, Abigail, you’re just like Jesus.”

Her eyes widened, curiosity sparked. “What do you mean?”

I chuckled. “Well, Mom and Dad didn’t have to have sex to have you. How many of your friends can say that?”

Laughter ensued, but beneath the humor was a profound truth: reframing Abigail’s story gave her a sense of pride and uniqueness. And, it was a badge of honor that mom and dad didn’t “do that” to have her. 

A Foundation of Love

Later that year, I gave Abigail a letter I had written after her birth. It was filled with our prayers, struggles, and God’s reality in our lives as we struggled to have a child. As she grew older, that letter became a touchstone. It reminded her that she wasn’t just born—she was wanted, loved, and planned.

This reframe laid a foundation for Abigail to see herself as deeply valued and part of a greater plan. It also strengthened her faith and confidence.

Reframes in Life and Leadership

Reframing isn’t just for big life moments—it’s a tool we can use every day. In conversations, at work, or with family, reframing helps us see the same story from a different angle. It can turn problems into possibilities, doubts into discoveries, and challenges into choices.

How about you? Do you have a story where a reframe changed everything? Please share those moments in the comments.

Because here’s the truth: reframing isn’t just about changing minds—it can have a profound impact on people’s lives.


Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 650,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

 

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