Tag Archive for: Influence PEOPLE

The Messenger Can Make All the Difference

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Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it that can make all the difference. And sometimes it’s not what is said but who said it that makes all the difference.

I bet most of you would agree that our children are vitally important to our future. After all, at some point each of us will be retired and the fortunes of our investments and the direction of our country will be in the hands of the next generation – our children.

The late Whitney Houston said as much in her enormously popular hit song, Greatest Love of All. The song opens:

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way

There’s another well-known quote that goes like this, “He alone who owns the youth gains the future.” Any idea who said that? If you’re like most people you probably didn’t know it was Adolf Hitler. I’m guessing despite the reality that children are our future and that you might have even agreed with the quote, it probably doesn’t sit well with you now that you know who said it.

Sometimes the messenger can make all the difference! If Whitney Houston had sung, “He alone who owns the youth gains the future,” and Adolf Hitler had said, “I believe the children are our future.

Teach them well and let them lead the way,” we’d all feel exactly the opposite about the quotes.

This comes to mind because a church in Alabama used the Hitler quote on a billboard to advertise their youth group! There may be truth to Hitler’s words but no one with any gumption about how to persuade would try to use Hitler’s words in a positive way because he’s considered one of the most evil people to ever walk the planet. Would you want to send your kids to a youth group that’s quoting Hitler?

In persuasion the principle of authority tells us it’s easier for people to say yes to those who have superior wisdom or knowledge. To effectively use this principle of influence you need two things – expertise and credibility. Without both you’ll never succeed. For example, Bernie Madoff has expertise. Despite his pyramid scheme, he does know about investing. But would you trust him with your money? I hope not!

On the flip side, you probably have friends you’d trust your life with … but not your money, because they have no expertise when it comes to investing.

Whether it’s investing, taxes, legal advice, etc., we want people we can trust and those we view as having expertise if we’re to do what they suggest.

Authority can also be borrowed. When I present I use lots of quotes from well-known people. I do so for a couple of reasons.

First, if I say something, people might agree with me, but if Dale Carnegie, Ronald Reagan or Dr. Martin Luther King say it, people will more easily agree because their reputations precede them.

Second, my use of quotes shows I’m well-read and that does add to my personal authority. If people view me as well-read then they naturally assume I’m smarter for it and are therefore more willing to listen to what I have to say.

However, when I choose to use a quote I’m conscious of what it says AND who said it. Many infamous people have made true statements (even a broken clock is right twice a day!) but I would almost never use them because the reaction would be the same as your reaction to Hitler’s quote.

Here’s the bottom line if you’re looking to be a master persuader. Keep your reputation intact so people trust you and continue to develop expertise in your chosen field. When you need to borrow authority, make sure the quote and messenger will both be acceptable to your audience. Do these simple things and your ability to get to yes will go up rather dramatically.

Competition is a Big Driver in Persuasion

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Have ever you found yourself driving down the road, lost in thought or just enjoying some music, keeping a safe distance between you and the next car when all of a sudden someone comes barreling up the lane next to you and obviously wants to get over? When that happens, do you sometimes find yourself unconsciously speeding up? Maybe you’ve done so with conscious thought.

Or how about when traffic is restricted due to road construction. You’ve waited patiently as cars inch along and next thing you know, someone goes as far to the front as they can get then they expect someone to let them in. Have you found yourself not being the one to let them in because you think, “If I had to wait, they can wait, too!”

These are just some of the many familiar situations you can find yourself in where competition begins to affect your thinking and behavior. No need to feel bad if you do speed up a bit or don’t always let someone over because it’s evolutionary. You see, you’re simply responding to the principle of scarcity – we want more of what we can’t have, and we react negatively to what we might lose. That loss could be as simple as our place in line on the highway.

When it comes to scarcity, competition ramps up the effectiveness of this principle of influence. When you saw the person coming up on the highway you were in competition with them for the spot in line and their desire to get ahead of you made you more determined not to lose. Think about something as simple as a sale.

“Sale Ends Sunday” is a form of scarcity. You can take your time getting to the store because you know you have until closing time Sunday to get in on the deal. But what if the ad says, “Sale – While Supplies Last”? Now you realize waiting until Saturday or Sunday might mean you lose out because other people may get to the store Friday. They don’t want to miss out on the great deal and neither do you, so you head to the store Friday afternoon also. Scarcity has changed your behavior but competition even more so!

Another example might have occurred when you were dating. Isn’t it the case that you value your partner more when you realize someone else is also vying for his or her attention? You might have been considering putting an end to the relationship but the entrance of someone else can sometimes cause you to rethink the situation.

When it comes to effectively using the principle of scarcity, limited time offers will motivate behavior but offers that involve competition will be far more effective. With that in mind, you need to think about ways to ethically invoke competition in order to get people to want your product or service even more.

Perhaps the best picture of competition for products happens every year the day after Thanksgiving. That day has become known as Black Friday. Limited time deals cause people to wait in line starting at midnight in some cases! You may have seen reports of people fighting and being trampled on in the news as customers rush into stores for great deals on limited quantity items. Seemingly normal, rational people begin to act like animals fighting over the remains of a carcass before it’s all gone! That’s how scarcity works on the mind because competition is a big driver in persuasion.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Most Valuable Real Estate

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Living in Central Ohio, golf isn’t the first sport you think of, but thanks to legends like Jack Nicklaus, aka the “Golden Bear,” our courses are hidden gems scattered around Columbus and its suburbs.

As I reminisced at the Memorial Golf Tournament this year, a thought struck me—sometimes, the game’s outcome isn’t about the physical distance covered by the ball, but rather those crucial six inches between our ears.

Jack Nicklaus, who has won a record 18 majors, is not just a testament to physical skill but mental mastery. The real estate I’m talking about isn’t the fairway—it’s the mind. In golf, as in professional life, the true game unfolds in the mental landscape.

At this tournament, watching a pro miss a straightforward putt reminded me how each swing, each decision counts. The winner often surpasses the runner-up by a mere one or two strokes—a fraction of a percentage that decides victory. So, what makes the difference? It’s how one handles the mental pressure, the adverse moments.

The Mind: Your Battlefield for Influence

This concept translates seamlessly into persuasion, especially in professional settings where we’re often stuck in old patterns or firm beliefs. Here are a few tactics, drawing from the subtle art of persuasion, that can shift outcomes in your favor:

Liking: A simple, deserved compliment could be all it takes for someone to favor you more, increasing your persuasive pull.

Reciprocity: Small acts of genuine help can foster a sense of obligation, nudging others to return the favor, possibly aiding in your next project completion or deal closure.

Authority: Displaying credentials upfront enhances credibility, making your propositions more persuasive.

Social Proof: Mentioning what other people, those most similar to the person you’re talking to, are doing makes it easier for people to follow your lead.

Consistency: Encouraging someone to agree to small initial requests increases the likelihood they will stick to bigger commitments.

Scarcity: Highlighting the limited availability of an offer can spur action, a principle as effective in business as it is in psychology.

Winning with Ethical Influence

Understanding these principles doesn’t just potentially enhance your professional relationships and outcomes—it aligns with ethical influence, ensuring you’re respecting others’ autonomy and creating win-win scenarios. Like employing a sports psychologist may not guarantee a win every time, using these principles wisely isn’t about manipulation; it’s about improving your odds ethically.

Your mental agility plays a crucial role, not just in sports but in every professional interaction. Each conversation, each meeting is your playing field, and how you engage your mind determines whether you merely play the game or change it.

What methods do you find most effective for influencing change in your professional interactions?

Edited with ChatGPT and reposted 4/26/24

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

A Question is Like a Flashlight

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A former coworker and good friend Nancy Edwards shared an article from Southwest’s Spirit Magazine titled “Chasing Beautiful Questions.” In the article I came across a quote from Steve Quatrano of the Right Question Institute:

“A question is like a flashlight that we shine into the darkness, allowing us to move forward into the unknown and uncertain.”

I loved the analogy of a question being like a flashlight because it’s so memorable! I also like it because asking good questions is a big part of being an effective persuader.

When it comes to the principle of liking – it’s easier for us to say yes to those we know and like – questions are key to finding out what you have in common with another person. What we have in common with someone (similarities) is a proven way to engage the liking principle.

Think about people you know who are from your hometown, have the same pet you do, enjoy the same hobbies or root for the same sports team. Studies show it’s easier for them to like you AND it’s easier for you to like them. The end result is it makes it easier for them to say “Yes” to you.

You can learn these things a number of ways – ask people who know the person you want to persuade, Google them, check out Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. Or, when you’re with the other person you can shine the light of good questions to try and find out what you have in common so you can use those things to connect.

Good questions also come in handy when you want to engage the principle of consistency. This principle of influence explains the reality that people want to be consistent in what they say, do, believe, etc. Typically, people don’t resist their own values, attitudes and beliefs. If you know those things and can align your request to show the other person how what you’re asking lines up with those beliefs, values, attitudes, or past behaviors, it will be easier for them to say yes to whatever you’re asking.

In much the same way that you discover similarities you can discover these things to engage consistency. Talk to people who know the person you’re trying to persuade, do an online search, and look at Facebook or LinkedIn.

One last place questions come in handy is during the sales process, with scarcity. This principle highlights the truth that people respond more to what they might lose than what they might gain.

Telling someone what he or she might lose by not going with your suggestion is effective persuasion but there’s a better way. Asking questions that highlight potential loss is a much more effective persuasion strategy. For example, in my industry, insurance, an insurance agent might ask the following of a prospective customer if they discover some deficiency in their insurance program:

Agent – If you were to have a catastrophic loss, would you expect the insurance company to completely replace your building?

Prospective Client – Of course I would. That’s why I carry insurance.

Agent – I thought that would be the case, but the reality is you don’t carry enough insurance to fully replace your building. You’d have to pay more than $200,000 out of pocket. Did you know that?

Prospective Client – No, I thought I was fully covered!

By asking the right questions the agent is shining the light on a dark place, a place the customer had not considered.

When the customer voices what he wants that solidifies his desire even more. And this approach drives home the potential loss much more than the agent telling him what he might lose.

So, whether you want to connect with someone using liking, engage them with consistency or highlight possible loss, good questions are the way to go. They will shine a light to allow you to see things previously hidden and increase your chance for persuasion success.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Hear “Yes”

Thinking Is Some Of The Hardest Work There Is

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Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company, once said, “Thinking is some of the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few people engage in it.” Thinking may not be like manual labor but for those of you who engage in deep thought you know it’s tiring! But why is that the case? Here are a couple of reasons:

“The brain represents only about 2% of most people’s body weight, yet it accounts for about 20% of the body’s total energy use.” – from Brain Rules by John Medina.

“The brain consumes 300% more caloric intake when engaged in cognitive evaluation and logical thinking than when in the automatic mode.” – from The 7 Triggers to Yes by Russ Granger

Bottom line – that small piece of grey matter in our skulls requires a lot of energy and when used to capacity it leaves us quite tired. We do what we can to avoid working harder than we have to so Henry Ford might have been correct about our aversion to the hard work of thinking.

Or perhaps our ability to reduce our thinking and save energy is a survival mechanism. Whether it’s laziness or survival, one thing is for sure, when we can think less and conserve energy, we usually do it. This is important to understand if you want to become a better persuader. In March 2009, ABC News featured an article titled Expert Advice Shuts Your Brain Down. Here’s my Cliff’s Notes version of the article:

Two dozen Emory University students are given complicated financial problems to solve. They’re hooked to brain imaging equipment so their neural activity can be observed. As they try to figure out answers to the problems their brains are hard at work! Eventually a professor from Emory University is introduced to the class, and it’s made known he’s also an advisor to the U.S. Federal Reserve. In other words, he’s a very smart financial guy. As he begins to give the students advice, even advice he knows is bad, their brains “flat lined” because they stopped critically thinking.

So, what went on there? From the perspective of the psychology of persuasion, the principle of authority was engaged. This principle of influence tells us people defer to those with superior knowledge or wisdom when making decisions.

I like to share the ABC account because it illustrates an important fact about persuasion – it’s not pop psychology or some fad. When a principle like authority is engaged correctly it causes physiological changes in the brain and that’s part of the reason the principles of influence can be so effective when it comes to persuading others.

Consider the Emory University students. Left on their own, they had to work hard to come up with answers. However, when a credentialed individual who is viewed as much smarter than they are comes into the equation everything changes. They can cease from the hard work of thinking!

Each of us does this at different times. This is why we pay accountants to do our taxes, lawyers to defend us in court or stockbrokers to invest for us. We don’t want to do the heavy lifting associated with each of those mental activities.

How does this understanding help you be a more effective persuader? Two ways.

First, the more someone understands your expertise the less critical they will be of your ideas and recommendations. That’s not to say everyone will do what you want nor am I advocating trying to get people “brain dead” in order to persuade them. However, when they understand your expertise, they will more readily accept your position just as the Emory University students did with the professor.

You can establish your credentials on your business card (title and designations earned), through letters of reference and introduction, speaker bios, years in business, how you dress, the car you drive, etc. Each of these can indicate success which usually carries with it the assumption of some expertise.

The second way to engage this is using outside sources. You may be an expert or maybe you’ve not established expertise yet. Either way, when you bring outside sources – other experts, graphs, charts, stats, etc., into the persuasion equation, you begin to bring authority into the mix and people will more readily accept what you’re sharing.

How will you apply this concept? Next time you go into a situation where you need to be persuasive make sure people know your credentials up front. Doing so after the fact does little good because the person, you’re attempting to persuade might have already made up his or her mind. If you go this route, do so by engaging someone to introduce you either in person or by email. When you do this, make sure the person making the introduction knows the most important credentials you have.

The other thing you want to do is look for valid stats, charts, quotes, or other references that show you’ve done your homework and there’s respected support for what you propose.

Here’s an example of putting this into practice. I’m in the insurance industry and work for an insurance company. Quite often insurance agents will call their underwriter for more in-depth understanding of coverages or insurance provisions. An underwriter might answer the agent’s question off the cuff because they know the answer. However, if it’s not what the agent wants to hear the agent might contend with the underwriter. It’s a good bet the underwriter’s knowledge came from continuing education so why not cite the source of knowledge? Here’s how I would advise an underwriter to answer:

“That’s a great question. I remember when I was studying for my CPCU…”

Now the answer is not just opinion because it’s backed by the authority of the CPCU Institute.

Sometimes seemingly simple things like citing a source or establishing credentials up front can make all the difference in turning a no into a yes.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”

What If You Hate Someone You Work With?

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Several years ago, I was invited to speak to a couple dozen psychology students at The Ohio State University. They were working on their MBAs so as you might imagine it was a group of very bright young people. No doubt they had far more insight into psychology than I possessed but I did have
something they didn’t, something they could all learn from – a lot of real-world business experience.

As I shared the psychology of persuasion and its application to the business world, we got off on a tangent when we came to the principle of liking. This psychological concept simply alerts us to the reality that it’s easier for us to say yes to those we know and like. Think about it for a moment – there are many things you’d willingly do if asked by a friend that you’d never do for a stranger. So, make more friends and more people will be willing to help you when you need it.

At one point someone asked, “What if you hate someone you work with?” I replied, “Hate is a very strong word, and I can honestly say I don’t hate anyone I work with.” Then he rephrased his question, “Okay, what if you really dislike them?” I responded, “I don’t really dislike anyone I work with either.” I went on to explain why that was the case and I’d like to share my thoughts with you in this post because it might just make your life a lot happier and less stressful.

Learning about the liking principle coupled with more than 25 years in business has taught me this – how much I like someone depends far more on me than it does on the other person. That’s because I can make simple choices that will not only get them to like me a little more but will get me to like them more at the same time!

A couple of ways to trigger liking are to offer up genuine compliments and look for things we have in common. Let’s start with compliments. I firmly believe there’s good in every person. If we look for the good, we’ll find it, and it will get easier and easier to keep finding more good things.

Unfortunately, all too often we look for the negative and that’s also easy to find. It’s a choice so which will you look for? Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” When we do find something good and tell the other person, they feel good and begin to associate those good feelings with us. In other words, they start to like us a bit more. But here’s the interesting thing – that same approach is working on us too! When you look for something worthy of a compliment in another person and tell them, you begin to convince yourself that they’re a good person. The very same factor that causes
them to like you makes you like them at the same time.

Studies show when it comes to things you have in common with someone else, engage on those things and they’ll come to like you more. That happens because we give a lot of benefit of the doubt to people who root for the same team, were born in the same town, attended the same college, have the same pets, etc. And just as sharing compliments works in reverse, so does this approach. In other words, when you find someone who roots for your team, went to your college, has the same pet, etc., you come to like them more! I shared this with the psychology group and went on to tell them what I’d come to realize during my career was how much I like the people I work with depends more on me than it does them. That’s because I can continually make choices to offer sincere compliments and look for things we have in common. As I do this, I come to like them more. It doesn’t turn everyone in a best friend, and it doesn’t mean I’ll come in early for coffee or go have beers after work with them all, but I can enjoy them while I’m with them.

I’d venture to guess if you think about people who don’t enjoy life and people who are a part of their life, you’ll probably think of people who are not very outgoing, who don’t look for the best in others and are probably fairly negative.

Here’s my two-fold challenge for you this week:

  1. Make a concerted effort to look for things you have in common with other people AND then talk about those things with them.
  2. Choose to look for things you can genuinely compliment in other people AND then offer up a sincere compliment.

I guarantee if you make this “the way you do life” you’ll have an abundance of friends, people who like you and people that you like in return. Do this and you’ll be able to say as I did years ago, “I can honestly say I don’t hate, or really dislike, anyone I work with.”

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

 
 
 
Cialdini “Influence”
Series! Would you like to learn more about
influence from the experts? Check out the Cialdini “Influence” Series featuring Cialdini
Method Certified Trainers from around the world.

Ancient Survival and Modern Day Complexities

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The more I teach others about persuasion, the more clearly I see the principles of influence as a survival tool. Not only did they help our ancestors live day to day, but they also help us deal with the complexities of life in this information-overloaded society in which we live.

Let’s consider the principles in relation to our ancestors.

Liking – One way to engage liking is through similarity. In ancient times someone who looked like you was probably friendly whereas someone who looked different might be an enemy. It became easier to trust those with whom you could quickly tell you had something in common.

Reciprocity – If someone helped you it would be wise to help him or her when the opportunity presented itself because you never knew when you might need his or her help again.

Consensus – There’s safety in numbers so it was probably a good survival bet to go along with the crowd instead of opposing it. If everyone was in favor of some action your optimal choice was to go along with the group or you’d find yourself ostracized.

Authority – We place a lot of confidence in those with superior wisdom and knowledge. It paid to go along with the leader’s direction because opposition could end your life in a multitude of ways. Consistency – To do what you promised would gain you favor most of the time. In turn you learned to rely on those with a track record of coming through as expected whether it was on the farm or on the battlefield.

Scarcity – When good opportunities, like food and drink, came along it was a wise choice to take advantage of the opportunity because you never knew if such an opportunity would come around again.

In the modern world we may not have life and death decisions very often but the principles help us keep our sanity. In my presentations I like to share a quote from William C. Taylor’s article Permission Marketing, which was written for the magazine Fast Company.

“This year, the average consumer will see or hear one million marketing messages – that’s almost 3,000 per day.”

Can anyone possibly take in 3,000 marketing messages every day, sort through them all, weigh the pros and cons and make the best rational decision? Of source not! You’d need a supercomputer to do that. But here’s a scary thought – Taylor’s quote is more than 25 years old! A more recent article on the New York Times, Anywhere the Eye Can See, It’s Likely to See an Ad, puts the number of daily marketing messages we’re exposed to closer to 5,000!

To help us deal with the complexities of modern life we use the principles of influence as mental shortcuts. They help us wade through all the noise and when we hear something that resonates with us quite often that’s all we need to make a quick, satisfactory decision.

Liking – A friend tells you the company they used to put in their new kitchen floor and after a few questions you like what you hear so you decide to call the company for a quote. That saves a lot of time because you don’t have to do a lot of research.

Reciprocity – You do something that’s helpful, something another person truly appreciates. You sense they appreciate you and believe you want the best for them. It’s only natural for him or her to say, “Yes” if you need their help in return. Now you’re building relationship.

Consensus – If everyone is doing it then it must be worth considering. After all, quite often the wisdom of the crowd is better than a few smart people. Therefore, best-selling items can usually be relied on over new products or services.

Authority – With the crush of modern life it’s easier to turn to accountants for our taxes, lawyers for legal questions and doctors for our health. We find it easier to pay these people for their expertise because it gives us time to focus on things we’re good at and things that are more important to us.

Consistency – As society becomes more inter-dependent we rely on each other. A big part of the reliability is banking on someone doing what they said they would. We may be more pleased with a “steady Eddie” worker over the person who sometimes does great work and other times does poor work or misses deadlines.

Scarcity – “Sale ends Sunday” is a classic. We don’t want to lose out on the possibility of a great deal so we get off the couch and get to the store before the end of the weekend. Much of the time this is an open door for us to get better deals.

So there you have a comparison of the principles of influence in ancient versus modern-day survival. They don’t explain all of human behavior but if you pay attention you’ll see they do explain an awful lot of why people do what they do. Look for ways to tap into them ethically and correctly and you’re sure to be a more effective persuader.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 

Persuading Einstein and Members of AARP

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I just finished Einstein: His Life and Universe by Walter Issacson. Excellent book! Issacson also wrote another very interesting biography I read a few years ago, Steve Jobs. His book on Einstein was so well written and portrayed Einstein in such a way that I was sad at the end to read about his death because I felt like I was just getting to know him.

We all have notions of Einstein from school, quotes we’ve read, movies we’ve seen and various other sources. Some of what we learned was true and much was fairy tale or at least exaggeration. What fascinated me about Einstein was how much of a rebel he was in his youth and how much he was willing to change as he got older when the facts warranted change.

As we get older, change gets harder. In some sense we’ve honed what works for us and those patterns or habits – which include speech and thought – are no exception. We think what we think and do what we do because we believe it’s the right way or the best way given the situation. Dale Carnegie understood this and that’s why one of his tips from How to Win Friends and Influence People encourages us to “show respect for the other person’s opinion and never say, ‘You’re wrong.’” Never forget, right or wrong, people have reasons for what they do.

Beyond being stereotyped as “set in their ways” is there any proof that older people are more difficult to persuade? Actually there is. A study mentioned in Robert Cialdini’s Influence Science and Practice noted, “in a follow-up study employing subjects from ages 18 to 80, we found that preference for consistency increased with the years and that, once beyond the age of 50, our subjects displayed the strongest inclination of all to remain consistent with their earlier commitments (Brown, Asher, & Cialdini, 2005).”

So, as we age it’s natural to cling tightly to closely held beliefs, attitudes, values, and ways of doing things. As most of you reading this know, it can be darn hard to change someone’s mind, especially as they grow older.

So, what’s this have to do with our friend Albert Einstein? On one hand he seemed to cling stubbornly to his view of the universe and dismissed some newer science including quantum mechanics. Without going into detail on either issue, suffice it to say that despite lots of data on quantum mechanics, there were a few important questions Einstein could not reconcile in his head. Had someone been able to help him do that he might have changed his mind and abandoned his search for a unified theory.

Being an analytic personality, Einstein would naturally cling to his beliefs because he so thoroughly thought them through. You’d need data to convince him AND you’d need to do so at the points that were of most concern to him. No scientist could convince him that we can never truly tell a particle’s exact position and momentum (a tenant of quantum mechanics). Scientists believe we can only guess at those two things, but Einstein could not reconcile that in his mind, so he held to his earlier beliefs about the universe.

On the flip side there was something very dear to Einstein’s heart that he eventually did change his mind about. He was an ardent pacifist in his younger days and believed if people would refuse military service there would never be a need for military action by nations.His view on this was shaped by the horror of World War I and the unparalleled destruction it brought on the world at that time. Through the early 1930s he held onto this view. However, with the rise of Hitler and the Nazis in Germany he began to re-examine that view. While he never embraced war, he came to believe people should enlist to defend freedom. He was also instrumental in getting President Roosevelt to start exploring nuclear technology and was against unilateral disarmament towards the end of his life because of the imbalance of power it would cause.

Why did he change? He was confronted with facts and the reality was the stakes were too high to be wrong. As you attempt to persuade people you’d do well to consider where they are in their life cycle. Teenagers and younger people have not developed the same groove older people have. It’s easier for them to experiment and quite often there is much less at stake for them in terms of loss should they make a mistake.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 

Influencers from Around the World – Alex Ferguson’s Persuasion Secrets of Managing Manchester United

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If you’ve followed Influence PEOPLE for any length of time then you’re familiar with Sean Patrick. You know Sean hails from Dublin, Ireland but what you may not realize is he’s moved to London. You can connect with Sean on LinkedIn or Twitter. Sean owns his own sales training and coaching company SPT (Sean Patrick Training), Ltd. I’m confident you’ll enjoy what Sean has to share this month.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
 
Alex
Ferguson: Persuasion Secrets of 
Managing Manchester United

In May 2013, Sir Alex Ferguson or SAF as he’s
otherwise known as, stepped down as manager of Manchester United.  He had just won his 13th Premiership title,
the most successful and highly decorated manager in English football.  This ended his 26th season in charge of one
of the biggest sporting franchises in the world.

During his time at Old Trafford he won 38
titles including two UEFA champions league trophies. Ferguson took control of
the club at a time when player status was more important than winning titles,
over the course of four seasons and under severe pressure to deliver, he
transformed the club from the inside out.
He employed countless talent scouts to find the best youth players at
grassroots level and developed an academy that produced one of the most
successful teams in English football history.
Every season a major development was installed inside the club that
cemented United’s ability to find and retain the best playing staff.  Ferguson was well known for having his finger
on the pulse in every area of the club.
Only Matt Busby, a legendary former United manager had any such
influence across the entire club.
So how did he do it?  Ferguson was well known for his ability to
psychologically influence the players around him and rival managers.  Ferguson believed that the key to success was
to make sure that every player put in 100% during training.  He never allowed a bad training session as
this proved a player would find mediocrity acceptable, he knew bad habits form
quickly.  He ensured that every player
who under-performed at half time became aware of their poor performances thus
the legendary motivational skills reared itself in the dressing room.
Former rival manager Jose Mourinho claimed
Ferguson was the master of the ‘second game’, sing the media to motivate his
team and to begin, as he put it, ‘to play the next game before it starts’.
The club and everyone around him knew he was
the authority figure.  If a player tried
to take over the dressing room or put in a poor performance he was either
swiftly removed from the club or was given a severe face-to-face screaming
which had become known as the hairdryer treatment.  His authority was without question embedded
into the organization. Over the course of his 26 season reign he made difficult
choices and this came in the form of releasing established world class players
such as Roy Keane, Jaap Stam and David Beckham to make room for untested
younger players such as Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo who became medal
winners at United.
There was another side to Ferguson, he was
liked and respected.  He was treated
respectfully by senior management and back-room support staff and reciprocated
respect by demonstrating fairness and his ability to empathize.  These skills were tested during the season of
1995-96 when maverick player Eric Cantona attacked an opposition supporter
Kung-Fu style and consequently given a heavy suspension lasting several
months.  Over the course of this period,
Ferguson mentally coached Cantona, firstly to retain his services and secondly
to mentally motivate and prepare the player for his return.  Subsequently, Cantona blossomed to become a
model player and became club captain helping United secure more silverware.
This method of psychologically preparing and
motivating players culminated in United’s first UEFA Champions league title in
1999.  They faced a tough fixture against
Germany’s Bayern Munich.  At half-time
United were trailing, he reminded his players that if they lost the match they
would not as much be allowed to touch the trophy, just amble past at a safe
distance wearing their losers medal.  One
of the players later recalled that Ferguson’s inspirational speech turned
fearful men into world-beaters.  During
that same season, United became the first side from a major league to win the
treble of Champions league, English Premier league and League cup in a single
season.
Ferguson understood the importance being
consistent. One of his key skills in improving the preparedness of his players
was his use of story telling and being to talk to each player
individually.  He liked to change the
themes of his team talks with regularity.
“I once heard a coach start with ‘this must be the 1000th team talk I’ve
had with you’ and saw a player quickly respond with ‘and I’ve slept through
half of them!’  If a player was to sit
out a game, he gave a personal and very frank conversation that conveyed
empathy and instilled confidence in the player.
Ferguson emphasized on the use of instilling
confidence on the training pitch.  “There
is no room for criticism on the training field’.  ‘There is nothing better than hearing ‘well-done.”
Sean
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Restricted Freedom and Persuading Others

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Recently on a flight home from a training session I did what I normally do on a Southwest flight – I grabbed the first available aisle seat upon boarding. After I settled in, the flight attendant asked if I wanted to move back a row. She was in the emergency row and reminded me I could not recline my seat. I declined because I normally don’t recline my seat anyway.

A few moments later I began to regret my decision because the thought crept in, “What if I want to recline?” Suddenly having my freedom restricted caused angst even though the restriction was on something I hardly ever do. Scarcity was at work on me! This principle of influence tells us we want things more as they become less available and it doesn’t just apply to goods and services; it applies to our freedom of choice.

A good bit of scarcity’s work on our psyche has to do with not losing out on opportunities because that restricts our freedom.  If you’ve raised kids undoubtedly you’ve seen this. Isn’t it the case that more often than not they want whatever they’re not supposed to touch, taste, smell, watch, listen to or play with?

That doesn’t go away as adults. The moment someone tells us we can’t do something there’s a natural impulse that rises up in us, “Who are you to tell me I can’t…?”

As persuaders, we’d do well to remember this because there are times when our well-intentioned communication backfires because our restrictions only make the other person want the restricted thing even more! There are times when we’d be better off taking a wait and see attitude rather than jumping in with a command – don’t, you can’t, you’d better not, etc.

If you have to make such statements you’d do well to help the other person internalize why the restriction is actually in their best interest. This taps into the principle of consistency. People typically don’t resist their own beliefs, values and reasons, so helping them form those will go a long way toward them believing the restriction is actually good for them.

Here is a very personal example. As a parent I believe it’s in my daughter Abigail’s best interest to abstain from sex for many reasons. But those are my reasons not hers and that means they might not last very long. When she was a freshman in high school she met a nice guy, who was a senior and although they were not “boyfriend and girlfriend” they were more than just friends. A short time after going to college he said it would probably be best if they didn’t keep going like they were and Abigail was crushed. Perhaps you can remember the feeling from your first love.

Sometime after that Abigail and I were driving somewhere and the subject of sex came up so I asked her, “Why do you think it’s wrong to have sex before marriage?” Right away she said, “Because the Bible says so.” So, I asked, “Why do you think the Bible says so?” Immediately she replied, “Because God says so.”

I probed more, “Why do you think God says so?” She was stumped so I asked, “Remember how bad you felt when he broke up with you? All you did was hold hands and have intimate conversations. How do you think you’d feel now if you’d given yourself to him?” I could see from the look on her face that she got it in the deepest part of her being.

I went on to tell her when God, the Bible or her mom and I ask her to refrain from things it’s not because we don’t want her to have fun. On the contrary, we love her and want her to love life and enjoy it to the fullest! With more experience under our belts we know the pitfalls of the decisions many teenagers make. We talked more about sex, marriage and relationships and as we did so she was generating her own reasons for her behavior.

Will she always do what her mom and I think is best or right? No, but then again, we’re not the final arbitrators on right and wrong, good and bad. And it’s been interesting to watch her grow up and make choices at her young age that are far better than we made at that age…and perhaps well into our 30s.

So, the takeaway for you is this – be careful about what you restrict and how you go about it. When you do have to make certain restrictions be sure to help the other person generate their own reasons because that will lead to better, longer lasting behavior.

P.S. I wrote this during the flight home and not being able to recline was a non-issue.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

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