Tag Archive for: liking

Influencers from Around the World – What Drives Liking? Different Scenes Between the US and Korea

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This month’s article is from Hoh Kim. I met Hoh in January 2008 when we went through the certification process with Dr. Cialdini. Hoh is an extremely intelligent person. That combined with the fact that he studied and worked in America for many years gives him a great perspective to compare different principles of influence between the Asian and American cultures.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
What Drives Liking?
Different Scenes Between the US and KoreaThe principle of liking teaches us an important life lesson. If someone doesn’t like me, then I’ll have a low chance to successfully persuade them even when I have a great idea or logic. Without a good relationship, there’s no good influence. We all know the importance of relationship. That’s why most of us spend time and energy to build networks and relationships in our personal and professional lives. That’s why we sometimes go to parties. We naturally know how to build relationships with others, from classmates and friends to colleagues and clients. However, sometimes, it’s not natural with others from different cultures. Different cultures might like different things. E. Y. Kim, a scholar in intercultural study, wrote the following in the book The Yin and Yang of American Culture: A Paradox, in 2001. Larry Samovar, Richard Porter, and Edwin McDaniel, quoted Kim in their book Communication between cultures: “Americans are action oriented; they are go-getters. They get going, get things done, and get ahead. In America, people gather for action – to play basketball, to dance, to go to a concert. When groups gather they play games or watch videos. Many Americans don’t have the patience to sit down and talk…Life is in constant motion.” My experience of living in the U.S. in 1990s and working for American companies (Merck and Edelman) in Korea tells a similar story. When we compare the American and Korean cultures, Americans prefer to “DO” together, while Koreans prefer to “BE” together. According to Dr. Cialdini, similarities are a driver for the principle of liking. Americans and Koreans will focus on “different similarities.” For example, graduating the same high school would probably mean more to Koreans than Americans. When Koreans build relationships, they tend to spend more energy to try to find out similarities such as same school, same hometown, or knowing the same people, etc. Of course, Americans will also be glad to know when someone at a party graduated the same high school but, to Koreans, in many cases, knowing the fact that someone graduated the same high school is not just good to know, but, immediately they felt that they have to give more favor to them compared to others (even paying for her or his alcohol or food bill). Probably, same hobby (doing) would mean more to Americans than Korean. Even the same thing, for example, drinking together, would mean different context. Standing bar or standing party is a very Western thing. See, Americans like to move even when drinking. Most Koreans would prefer drink together in a small group, three or four but definitely not more than 10, and in a room rather than in open space. That’s a Korean style party. At American parties, people will stand up and move here and there to meet new people and introduce each other. Koreans would stick to the same place such as a small room with same few people, of the three or four friends, and typically drink the same drinks together. So, what does it mean to us? With globalization we no longer work with the people from the same cultures so there’s a good chance you might go to another country and work with people from other cultures. For example, there are American executives in Korea working with Korean colleagues for the first time in their lives. You would have to build relationship with them. But, before you build relationship, think about what are the drivers of liking because they might be different. As an American executive in an American company operating in Korea, you might hold a standing party with Korean employees to build relationship with them. Possibly, you might feel that you would need to hold the parties (standing parties) more often but, in fact; you might need smaller group parties with Korean colleagues, rather than one big standing party, which will not be that helpful to build relationship with Koreans. Of course, if Koreans go to the States and work with American colleagues, they would need to learn how to mingle better in a standing party. Different culture means different context, and often, they key to understanding others is in that context. Hoh Kim

Parenting Made Easier with Influence

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Today, December 6, is our daughter Abigail’s 15th birthday. I can still remember looking at her in the crib thinking, “I can’t believe she’s been with us a hundred days.” Wow, does time fly! In just over three years she’ll be heading off to college and no matter where you are in the world you might hear me crying because I’ll miss seeing her every day.

To say that raising Abigail has been one of the biggest joys in my life would be an understatement. The only person luckier than me will be the man who spends the rest of his life with her. She is beautiful, fun, intelligent, has a great sense of humor, thinks deeply, is athletic and so much more. Jane and I have been very fortunate because for the most part she’s been an easy kid to raise. However, I also know some of that ease has been due to good parenting and that’s the focus of this week’s post.

I’m no child psychologist or parenting expert by any means but I have learned enough about psychology to effectively use the principles of influence in the process of raising Abigail. I believe that’s been incredibly helpful so what I’d like to do is share a few things I’ve tried and hopefully it will stimulate some ideas for you.

Liking – It’s not our job to be Abigail’s friend but it’s no secret that if your kids like you they’ll be more apt to do what you ask. We go out of our way to make sure she knows how much she’s loved and that certainly helps us as parents. For a really good parenting idea check out my post on something we call Special Day.

Reciprocity – Most parents give kids an allowance and we’re no exception. An allowance however doesn’t engage reciprocity because it’s a reward, not a gift. To engage this principle you need to be the first to act.

One way I effectively used reciprocity this summer was to give Abigail a raise in her allowance before I asked anything of her. I didn’t say, “If you’ll cut the grass I’ll give you a raise,” because she would have declined (she hates cutting the grass!). What I did was give her a raise then about a week later asked her to cut the grass. She protested a little until I said, “Abigail, I gave you a raise in your allowance and didn’t ask you to do anything. Can’t you help me out?” She cut the grass.

Consensus – This one is always at play with teenagers but most of the time parents are fighting against it because of “peer pressure” and Jane and I are no different. Rather than go into detail on on how we’ve handle the pressure to conform I’ll refer you to the post I wrote on helping teens deal with peer pressure.

Authority – It’s always good to have an outside expert come to your aid. One situation that comes to mind is eating dinner together. It’s become all too common for families to not eat dinner together and when they do it’s often in front of the television. I won’t tell you we eat together every night but we do most evenings because we know it’s a great way to stay connected. Referring to a simple fact from an expert, like most happy families eat together, helps deflect the common question, “Can’t we eat in front of the TV?”Here’s a funny, but not totally ethical, story. When Abigail was very little she didn’t like certain foods and our pleading with her didn’t help. One day Jane acted like Abigail’s doctor was on the phone. As soon as she said, “Abigail, Dr. Klinger says you need to eat your vegetables,” she ate them. Not ethical but effective because even as a little girl she knew he was an authority.
Consistency – I spend a lot of time talking to Abigail and have ever since I can remember. When something we ask her to do goes well I make sure to point that out because it acts as a mile marker down the road. The reason I do that is because it makes the next request easier. For example, I can say, “Abigail, you know I love you right? And you know mom and I want you to be happy and have fun, right? Last time we asked you to do [fill in the blank] it turned out well, didn’t it?” See where I’m going with this? I’ve built on a series of consistent “Yes” responses to get her buy-in. She knows we love her, that we want her to enjoy life and know we’ve given good advice in the past. Reminding her of those things makes it easier for her to say “Yes” to whatever we’re asking of her currently.
Scarcity – We try not to pull the threat lever too often but that is a legitimate use of scarcity. As parents we’ve all had to say, “If you don’t [fill in the blank] you’ll lose the privilege to [fill in the blank].” I do think effectively using the other principles of influence greatly reduces the need to have those kinds of tough talks with your kids. One area I was able to use scarcity was with club volleyball last year. Abigail wasn’t big on the idea of playing but I let her know if she didn’t there was probably no way she’d make the high school team. Knowing she was going to a new school where she didn’t know anyone we all agreed being on the volleyball team would be a good way to start the high school experience. Although she would have rather done things other than club volleyball she went ahead and played.
Please don’t think that using the principles is a surefire guarantee to hear “Yes” every time because it’s not. What I can tell you with confidence is that your children will say “Yes” more often if you effectively use the principles of influence – and all of this is backed by science and the understanding of human psychology. I encourage you to give it a try. It’s made our lives easier and I know it can do the same for you.PS The reason for the 4:38 AM post this week is because that’s exactly when Abigail came into the world 15 years ago. Happy Birthday Abigail, Love Dad!!
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

A Thanksgiving Message to People I’m Thankful For

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In a few days most Americans will be celebrating Thanksgiving. There will be turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and lots more food to go along with a day of family and football. It’s the day we pause to give thanks for all the blessings in our lives. Rather than write a regular article I want to take this time to give thanks to many people who’ve been a blessing to me. That’s the principle of liking at work! I encourage you to click on some names and perhaps send a Facebook friend request, follow someone on Twitter or connect with them on LinkedIn because they’re all good, supportive, helpful people. That’s a big reason for my thanks! It’s not that they’re just good to me; I think it’s their nature so here’s a chance to hook up with really good folks if you want to expand your social network. I have to start with my wife Jane and our daughter Abigail. If you follow me on Facebook or have read this blog for any length of time then you know they’re fodder for much of what I write. They’re always great sports about it and they give as good as they get. You should take a look at some of our exchanges because they can be quite funny. When it comes to this blog I’d like to start by saying thanks to Sean Patrick, Marco Germani, Yago de Marta and Hoh Kim. These guys continue to help my readers get a worldwide perspective on influence and persuasion. To see what they have to say tune in on the first Monday of each month for the Influencers from Around the World series. Here are some other people who’ve been very helpful with this blog. George Black got me going on this blog simply because he encouraged me. Next is Mike Figliuolo who’s been a great resource for all my blogging questions. On several occasions I’ve written guest posts for Mike’s blog, thoughtLEADERS, and he’s returned the favor writing some posts for me. Then there’s Michael Franzese who’s provided some very cool drawings for Influence PEOPLE and designed my logo. To see more of his work and read some of his thoughts check out FranzeseInklings. There are lots of Twitter friends who retweet my stuff consistently: James Sims, Marcy Depew, Matt Fox, Maureen Metcalf, Anthony Iannarino, Paul Hebert, Aaron Schaub, Steve Miller, Warren Davies, Jon Wortman, Jim Canterucci, Justin Bryant, Stella Collins, Eldon Edwards, and James Seay. To follow any of them on Twitter just click on their name. Special thanks also need to go to several coworkers. First there’s Debbie Conkel who’s proofread my work for more than 15 years now. She takes her own personal time to read through every blog post for me. Next is my boss John Petrucci. I could not work for a better leader and friend. Imagine the most supportive boss you can then multiply it many times over. And then there’s Nancy Edwards, someone I look to for mentoring. It doesn’t matter if we’re face to face, on the phone or communicating by email; Nancy encourages me every time we interact. When it comes to getting stuff done on the influence side, Chris Cibbarelli is my point person at Dr. Robert Cialdini’s office, Influence At Work. No matter what I need, no matter how quickly, Chris is always there for me. To say she’s a joy to work with would not be a strong enough statement. Finally, I want to say thanks to all of you reading this today. Readership has now reached nearly 150 countries! That’s not something I expected in my wildest dreams when I started blogging. The best gift I could give you to show my appreciation would be to help you find the kinds of online relationships I’ve found. That’s why I hope you will take time to click on some names, start some conversations and make some connections. I know you’ll be glad you did. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Secret to Happiness

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As Thanksgiving approaches I thought it would be a good time to share something that I believe is a key to the secret to happiness. It’s appropriate at this time because it involves giving thanks and praise. The secret to happiness can be summed up in the following proverb, “Happy is the man who wants what he has.” I encourage you for just a moment to ponder these nine simple words:

Happy is the man who wants what he has.

Why do I believe this is a key to the secret to happiness? First, in life there are unlimited wants and desires but there’s no way they will all be fulfilled. If you allow your focus to dwell on what you don’t have or didn’t achieve that’s a sure recipe for discontentment.

Can you really choose your focus and impact your attitude? Psychologist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who spent three years in Nazi concentraion camps, believed you could and wrote in his classic book Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken away from a man or woman but one thing: the freedom to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

How does this tie into influence? As I’ve dwelt on that short phrase I’ve learned to make the choice to focus on what I have, not what I don’t have. I try to focus on the good and not the bad. I’m far from perfect when it comes to this but the more I practice as time goes by the better I get.

As for influence I believe focusing on “Happy is the man who wants what he has” ties into the principle of liking. This is a simple principle of influence we’re all familiar with; people generally like those who like them. When I teach about this principle something I share that causes people to pause and think is this; when you try to get someone to like you by tapping into similarities or offering up praise you begin to convince yourself that the other person is likable. In other words, the very same things that will probably cause them to like you will also cause you to like them. It’s a double whammy for your effort!

So how does this play out for me and how can it help you? If you follow me on Facebook you know I post lots of comments about my wife, Jane, and our daughter, Abigail. Most are meant to be funny and sometimes people who don’t know me think I’m living on the edge. I suspect they think I spend many nights sleeping on the couch as punishment for my humorous posts. But, I can honestly say they only nights spent on the couch were the ones where I fell asleep watching television.

What I also try to do with those Facebook posts is praise the ones I love. I’ve had many people comment on how much they can see I love both Jane and Abigail. Whether I post a nice comment, tell someone in person, or make sure to verbalize something positive to Jane or Abigail, liking begins to work on me. If I’m constantly telling people how wonderful, smart, funny, beautiful, etc., they are, don’t you think that makes me appreciate them even more? You bet it does!

Now let’s be honest, using an example of our significant other. There will always be someone who is better looking, funnier, or more intelligent. You can fill in the trait and there’s someone who is “more” than your significant other. However, we can still make the choice to focus on them and all that they are. I tell people if God had come to me and said I could make the perfect mate I would not have gotten someone as wonderful as Jane because I would not have been creative enough nor had enough faith in God. When I think of all I have with her I would not have believed that someone would really embody all that she does. The more I choose to focus on that, the more I appreciate and love her. Is she perfect? Nope, but then neither am I.

So I have a challenge for you as we approach Thanksgiving. Start making the choice today to focus on what you have. That could be your spouse, family, home, friends, job or anything else. Make the choice to focus on the positive and appreciate those people and things. I really believe if you do so, liking will work on you causing you to find more peace, contentment and happiness.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

An Exercise in Awareness

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Click on the picture below to watch a short YouTube video
then we’ll continue on.

If you’re like most people you were probably floored by all that went on in the video that you missed! I know I was first time I watched it. The video is a great exercise in awareness and focus.

I have to confess, I’m not always the most aware guy and this occasionally bites me in my marriage. Many years ago I went to a “gallery hop” art show with my wife. Not exactly my cup of tea but I was trying to be the dutiful husband and act interested. When I saw a painting style I recognized (Monet) I said to Jane, “We have a painting by that guy don’t we?” She said, “We have that painting.” Surprised I replied, “Really?” Jane proceeded to tell me the painting was at the top of the stairs in our house…and had been there about three years! Ooops! Better keep my mouth closed next time.One of my favorite questions to ask when training is this, “Has anyone bought a new car in the past couple of years?” As you would expect there are usually several people who raise their hand. Then I pick someone for a simple follow up question, “What kind of car did you get?”Let’s suppose they say, “I bought a Ford Mustang.” Next I’ll ask, “After you bought the car, did you notice more Mustangs on the road in the days and weeks following your purchase?” You know the answer to that question, a resounding yes. I’ve never had someone tell me they didn’t notice their new car on the road more after getting it.What do you suppose changed? Could it be that there just happened to be a rush on Mustangs at that moment in time? Of course not! The only thing that changed was the buyers’ awareness of that type of car. I use that simple truth to get them to realize they get what they look for.How does this tie into influence? In two basic ways. First, your lack of awareness when it comes to the principles of influence means you’re missing opportunities that could help you hear that one word we all long for when making requests of other people – “Yes!”The more you come to understand the principles of reciprocity, liking, consensus, authority, consistency, and scarcity the more you’ll become aware of all the opportunities to ethically use them when interacting with people. With enough practice you’ll even find yourself using them almost without thinking.The second way awareness ties into influence is protection. That’s right, protection. Let’s face it, there are lots of people out there who understand this stuff but may not be constrained by ethics. I bet every one of you reading this can think of a time where a salesman manipulated you to buy something. Or maybe unethical influence was used on you by someone who took advantage of you in a relationship. What do you think about politicians and manipulation?My point is this; there are many people out there whose livelihood depends on getting you and others like you to say yes. It’s a sad fact that many more than we’d like to admit will do whatever they can to move ahead. Your understanding of the principles of influence is a first line of defense from being taken advantage of.I hope this was an enlightening little experiment for you; an “ah ha” moment perhaps. If you continue to read Influence PEOPLE I guarantee your eyes will be open to new possibilities and you’ll be more aware when it comes to those who seek to take advantage of you. Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”

Explaining the Spread of Urban Legends

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Did you know syringes have been found in the ball pits at McDonalds? I knew I should have taken the kids to Burger King…except that Burger King guy on those commercials is really creepy!
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST: for a friend of a friend of a friend…Kayala Scott’s 22-month old son shot himself in the chest with a nail gun…I guess that means no more family outings to Home Depot or Lowes.Mr. Rogers was a Marine sharpshooter with numerous kills in Vietnam! No wonder it was a beautiful day in his neighborhood…everyone was scared to death of him!I hope you know none of the above is true. They’re all urban legends; stories that spread spontaneously in various forms. While they’re almost always false far too many people believe them to be true and that’s part of the reason why they live on.You might be reading this with some embarrassment because you’ve passed on one or more of these stories in days gone by to others via email. I’ll make you feel a little better and ‘fess up that I forwarded some of these types of email in the early days of the Internet. I’d like to take a moment to explain some of the psychology about why these stories live on.
First, consider who typically sends these to you – someone you know. If your best friend, neighbor or a relative sends you and email with this kind of news the principle of liking is engaged. We tend to trust those we know and like so when a friend sends you a story, no matter how far out is sounds, most people immediately give them the benefit of the doubt and believe there’s some truth to it. And when a friend asks you to pray and pass along a well meaning email to others the liking principle compels many people to help the cause.It doesn’t take too many forwarded emails to keep it going either. If you get an email and pass it along to a couple dozen friends and only four pass it to another couple dozen and four of those people forward it…by the time that goes through seven iterations it could be passed along to more than 16,000 people!Seeing all those names on an email triggers another psychological principle of influence — consensus. Sometimes known as social proof, consensus tells us people look to others for cues on how to act in certain situations. When you see all those email addresses because the email has been forwarded multiple times it’s natural to assume there’s some validity to what’s being shared. All those names prompt people to continue the behavior.I’m sure many of you reading this are thinking to yourself, “I don’t pass that stuff along anymore.” Good for you but it’s undeniable that others still do and, as I shared earlier, if just four people out of two dozen keep it going it can spread faster than the flu virus through your office or your kid’s school.How can you slow down these kinds of unwanted emails? It’s pretty simple actually. Visit a site to see if what you just got has any validity. Here are just a few sites that can help you. Once you get to a site just do a search on some key words from the email.
Snopes.com UrbanLegends.com Scambusters.org If you find out it’s a hoax hit the Reply All button and politely let your friend know what they shared isn’t true and give the website where you found out. Let them know you got drawn into something similar before and don’t want to see them make the same mistake.A word of caution: whatever you do, don’t lay the person to waste! Once when I passed along a well meaning email about a prayer need someone fired back at me in a pretty harsh way. There’s no place for that, particularly when the email was well intended. Approach the person as you’d like to be approached and as Dale Carnegie encouraged, allow the other person to save face. Do that and you’ll slow the spread of unwanted email and preserve a friendship.Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Selling to VITO

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Several months ago I introduced Sean Patrick to readers in my Influencers from Around the World article. We’re up to readers from more than 125 countries so I’m continuing with the theme of hearing from other trainers around the world about how they use the principles of influence.

 

Sean’s a feisty Irishman who owns his own sales training company, Sean Patrick Training, and writes a blog, Professional Persuader. We met through Facebook because of Dr. Cialdini and we regularly chat over Skype. If certain things fall in place you might just see Sean in Columbus, Ohio in early October. Sean is a smart, funny guy and I know you’ll enjoy his point of view from across the pond. Look him up on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter.

 

Selling to VITO

All the way through my sales career in the IT world I’ve had to learn how to sell high. If this wasn’t daunting enough I had to learn how to sell to C-level executives COLD. Whatever sales training I had attended throughout my career that had any meaning or left an indelible mark on me came from people I chose to go out and find, and pay to see with my own money.

I wasn’t fortunate enough to have an understanding boss who considered sales training to be a service that more than paid for itself by an increased performance from the sales team. Nor did he view it as a chance to find and un-stick the sticking points. So my learning came from countless books, DVDs, and training courses that not only cost me financially but also in vacation time. Thankfully I usually ended up with just enough spare vacation time to go home for Christmas.

At one point in my career, still being somewhat of a whipper snapper, I came across this guy who sold in a very non-linear, very provocative way. He actually reminded me of one of the characters from the film Glengarry Glenross. This was the man that joined every selling dot together for me. From the initial mindset right through to putting the whole shebang together, I finally realized how natural and uncomplicated selling actually is. I don’t believe it has changed right to this day.

This trainer was the man responsible for opening my eyes to how people comply naturally, easily and unconsciously. When people talk about judgmental heuristics I know what they mean because this guy taught me. This leads very nicely to my point – from that time onward I made the bold decision that if I was to rapidly increase my worth as a salesperson I had to innovate. It was time for a change; time for a major overhaul for Sean Patrick!

“Renew, Revitalize, Rejuvenate!” was my mantra and so I did. At every opportunity I began to put the new ideas into action. I began to pitch my ideas to CEOs, the Very Important Top Officer (VITO). Now sales managers in a lot of companies will do this blindly and really press their salespeople to call high. The first problem with the CEO is the fact that he or she will not entertain a salesperson for one massive reason – language and communication. The salesperson under duress will not know how to speak in the language of the CEO. On the other hand most salespeople would love to talk features and benefits in hopes that the CEO’s ears will prick up and say, “I’m buying,” but that’s not how CEOs think and operate.

Finally we have the other big problem – the personal assistant. The personal assistant, or “PA” as we call her on this side of the pond, is worth her weight in gold at keeping the unwashed outside…and for good reason too, as the CEO’s time is limited and therefore valuable. So there we have all the challenges in a nutshell. Now here’s how to use the power of the authority and the liking principles to level the playing field…at least a little bit.

First of all the authority principle states that we are more likely to believe people in a position of higher power or knowledge that can lead us to a position of advantage or safety. If you want to sell to a CEO, then you have to behave and talk like a CEO. You have to get into their world and their way of thinking. Any CEO you approach is only going to be interested in what you can do to make their top job easier and add financial value for the company and shareholders.

The principle of authority allows us to take a look and notice the relevant symbols of authority; things such as title, clothing, and knowledge. You need to convey that you are an authority on what you know and the information you have is of vital importance to the CEO and this is a meeting he has to attend. All body language, language and behavioural patterns need to reinforce this belief or you will be exited to the front door where you belong. If however you find yourself selling to executives below CEO then act with your authority and beliefs about yourself and soon enough you will be greeted by the CEO.

The above principle of authority can be dramatically increased or enhanced when used in conjunction with liking, the principle whereby people prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. This simple rule helps to understand how liking can create influence and how compliance professionals may emphasize certain factors and/or attributes to increase their overall attractiveness and subsequent effectiveness.

CEOs may be influenced by your authority and your ability to communicate at the senior level and these activate the principle of liking because you’ll appear similar to them. Combine these two the right way with confidence, act like a CEO and talk like one, and you’ll get the access you require. Then it’s up to you to make the sale.

Sean

I’m sure Sean would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a thought or question in the comments section.
Brianinfluencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Persuading Personality Types: Survey Questions and Results

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From June 21, 2010 through June 30, 2010 I conducted a survey to try to determine the best influence approaches for different people based on personality type. In all, 265 people participated with the following breakdown by personality type:

Driver/Pragmatic – 96 (36.2%)
Influencer/Expressive – 63 (23.8%)
Amiable/Facilitator – 58 (21.9%)
Thinker/Analytic – 48 (18.1%)

Below are the 10 survey questions. After each question you’ll see the three possible answers. In parentheses is the principle of influence associated with the answer. Following each answer you’ll see the percentage of people in each personality category that chose that particular answer. The “Average” category is the overall percentage of all people that chose the answer regardless of personality type.

Q1 – There’s a popular movie out, one you’ve been thinking about seeing. Which would be most likely to get you to go?

a. A couple of good friends are going. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 59.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 68.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 74.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 60.4%
Average – 64.9%

b. Critics are giving it two thumbs up. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 17.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 14.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 27.1%
Average – 19.2%

c. It’s only in theaters till the end of the weekend. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 22.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 17.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 15.8%

Q2 – Which would be most likely to get you to go out to dinner?

a. The couple who invited you bought your dinner last time. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 10.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 4.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 10.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 9.5%

b. There will be a group of people which might make it more fun. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 43.2%
Influencer/Expressive – 66.7%
Amiable/Facilitator – 41.4%
Thinker/Analytic – 33.3%
Average – 46.6%

c. You’ve told your friends you want to spend more time with them so here’s your chance. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 46.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 28.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 48.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 54.2%
Average – 43.9%

Q3 – You’ve been considering buying a new laptop, one that’s on the more expensive side. Which most influences your buying decision?

a. A friend has the same laptop and loves it. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 13.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 20.8%
Average – 20.8

b. It’s rated as excellent in all the online reviews you’ve seen. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 64.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 42.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 62.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 56.3%
Average – 57.4%

c. It’s on sale but only while supplies last. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 21.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 23.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 22.9%
Average – 21.9%

Q4 – Someone is trying to set you up on a date with a friend of theirs. Which is the biggest reason you decide to go?

a. The person who is trying to set up the date is one of your closest friends. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 22.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 19.4%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 19.0%

b. Several friends know the potential date and have good things to say. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 31.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 46.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 43.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 45.8%
Average – 40.3%

c. A good friend reminded you this person has all the qualities you always say you’re looking for in a relationship. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 46.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 37.9%
Thinker/Analytic – 41.7%
Average – 40.7%

5. There’s a knock at the door and a little girl from the neighborhood is selling Girl Scout cookies. Despite promising yourself you were going to start watching your weight you order some because:

a. You remember this girl’s parents bought things from your child in the past. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 47.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 45.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 55.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 38.3%
Average – 47.1%

b. She tells you everyone in the neighborhood’s bought some so far and she only needs a few more sales to win a prize. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 16.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 22.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 24.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 19.1%
Average – 20.2%

c. You didn’t buy last time the girl was selling things so you told her to come back another time. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 35.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 32.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 42.6%
Average – 32.7%

Q6 – You’re married and your spouse asks you to do some light home repairs that might take several hours. You do them primarily because:

a. Your spouse does lots around the house so it’s the least you can do. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 69.8%
Influencer/Expressive – 77.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 68.4%
Thinker/Analytic – 77.1%
Average – 72.7%

b. Your spouse reminded you that other spouses generally do these kinds of things around the house to help out. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 3.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 1.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 3.5%
Thinker/Analytic – 0.0%
Average – 2.3%

c. You’re going on vacation soon so either you get the repairs done now or spend money on a repairman. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 27.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 20.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 28.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 22.9%
Average – 25.0%

Q7 – You get invited to a wedding and it’s the same weekend you planned to start your family vacation. The couple mentioned the date when they set it but you forgot about it when you planned this vacation. You decide to go and the biggest reason is:

a. The couple came to your wedding. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 5.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 11.1%
Amiable/Facilitator – 1.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 0.0%
Average – 4.9%

b. Several good friends from college will be there and they’re asking you to come and relive the good old days. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 9.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 12.7%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 6.3%
Average – 8.7%

c. You’ve told them, “Absolutely we’ll be there” when they mentioned it shortly after setting the date. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 85.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 76.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 93.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 93.8%
Average – 86.3%

Q8 – You’re trying to decide about whether or not to leave the company you’ve been at for more than 10 years for a new opportunity. Which plays into your decision most?

a. A good friend works at the company you’re considering and it would be great to work with them. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 8.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 15.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 10.5%
Thinker/Analytic – 10.4%
Average – 11.0%

b. You read in several business magazines it’s one of the top companies to work for. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 54.2%
Influencer/Expressive – 42.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 56.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 68.8%
Average – 54.5%

c. You know they only hire a handful of people each year into this prestigious training program. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 37.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 41.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 33.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 20.8%
Average – 35.5%

Q9 – You decide to buy a new car. Which of the following plays into your decision the most?

a. The salesman is an acquaintance who helped you out big time when he worked for a different company, one that did business with your company. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 7.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 20.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 10.4%
Average – 10.6%

b. The car has the highest consumer reports rating. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 81.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 69.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 81.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 72.9%
Average – 77.0%

c. This is the last year for the body type you like. (Scarcity)
Driver/Pragmatic – 11.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 9.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 13.8%
Thinker/Analytic – 16.7%
Average – 12.5%

Q10 – Someone at work needs your help. You’re hesitant at first because you’re pressed for time before your vacation. You decide to work overtime and help mostly because:

a. It’s a long-time friend. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 34.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 36.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 50.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 16.7%
Average – 35.2%

b. You were recommended by one of the senior managers because you’re one of the few people with the right technical background. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 27.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 33.3%
Average – 28.4%

c. The person mentioned how valuable your input was on a similar project a few months ago and you want to maintain that reputation. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 37.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 30.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 29.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 50.0%
Average – 37.4%

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Persuading Personality Types: The Driver/Pragmatic

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We’re on the final group in our look at the best ways to persuade people based on personality type. Our final group is the driver/pragmatic and as the name implies, people in this category are “driven.” They thrive on challenges and have a strong intrinsic motivation to succeed. They are practical, focused and results oriented. They have the ability to get lots accomplished quickly. Pragmatics talk faster than most people, can be very direct and usually get straight to the point. Words that describe people in this category include: action-orientated, decisive, problem solver, direct, assertive, demanding, risk taker, forceful, competitive, independent, determined and results-orientated.

With 96 people (36%) identifying themselves as being the driver/pragmatic personality type, they were far and away the largest group taking the survey which I think is only logical. Think about the kind of person that’s going to read a blog on influence and persuasion – probably a driven person who looks for opportunities for self-improvement.

The second largest group was the influencer/expressive which should also come as no surprise. Leaders, people who need to persuade others, generally fall into the driver/pragmatic and influencer/expressive categories.

As I strongly suspected, the driver/pragmatic personality type is heavily influenced by the principles of scarcity, consistency and authority.

Scarcity

My original hypothesis with drivers was that scarcity would play a big role in persuading them. My reasoning was simple – drivers are used to winning, that’s why they’re usually successful so show them what they stand to lose and you can probably move them to action. The survey results showed this to be the case as this group on the whole was more motivated by scarcity than all the other groups. It’s not that they were always motivated most by scarcity on each question but they were more consistently motivated by this particular principle of influence, choosing it as an answer about a quarter of the time.The survey question I found most interesting was question 1: There’s a popular movie out, one you’ve been thinking about seeing. Which would be most likely to get you to go? Because this was really a social situation it should not be a surprise that most people chose the answer that had to do with liking (A couple of good friends are going) but significantly more drivers, as compared to the other personality groups, said they would go when they learned, “It’s only in theaters till the end of the weekend.” In fact, the ratio of drivers choosing this answer was nearly double the analytics and more than four times the percentage of amiables!

Consistency

Another thought I had about those in the driver/pragmatic group was this; their self confidence makes them believe they’re right so it might seem like they stubbornly hold to an opinion. If you can tie your request to what they’ve said or done in the past (principle of consistency) your odds of success will go up. As Richard Dawson used to say on Family Feud, “Survey says…Yes!” The group that was most motivated by consistency was the analytic/thinker followed by the driver/pragmatic. A full 50% of the time, drivers chose an answer having to do with consistency when that was a possible choice. When an answer dealing with consistency was available, drivers chose it about 10% more often than amiables and 25% more often than people in the influencer/expressive category. I found question 4 most interesting for this group because it was social:

Q – Someone is trying to set you up on a date with a friend of theirs. Which is the biggest reason you decide to go?
A – A good friend reminded you this person has all the qualities you always say you’re looking for in a relationship. Drivers responded to the consistency answer 46% of the time compared to 42% of the analytics, 37% of the amiables and just 32% of the influencers.

Authority

I was right on with my assumption about the principle of authority impacting the driver/pragmatic personality. My thought was this; they don’t care much what the crowd says because they tend to blaze their own trail and are willing to go it alone. However, cite a recognized expert or someone they respect and they’ll pay attention. When an answer dealing with authority was an option drivers responded to it just about half of the time and that figure would have been much higher but the percentage for question 1 about going to the movies had a very low response rate to the authority answer (critics are giving it two thumbs up).

Conclusion

What conclusion can we draw about people in the driver/pragmatic category when it comes to influencing them? I say with some pride, what I originally thought – tap into scarcity by telling them what they stand to lose if they don’t do what you’re asking. Bring to bear information from a person or source they recognize and respect to back up your assertion and if possible, incorporate their words or actions into what you’re asking. Bringing these three principles of influence to bear at one time could make if awfully hard for them to say “No” which means it’s much more likely for you to hear “Yes!”

Survey Wrap

So there you have it, my analysis of the personality/influence survey data. As I shared at the start of this project, I’m not a professional survey administrator nor am I a behavioral psychologist. Perhaps people in those fields will read this and take it several steps further. My goal was simple – to give you some easy to remember insights on a few ways to use the principles of influence in a more strategic way when you clearly know the type of person you’re dealing with. If you have thoughts on this subject I’d love to hear from you so just leave a comment below and I’ll respond as time permits.

Brian

Persuading Personality Types: The Expressive/Influencer

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Day three on the personality types and we’re going to look at the survey data for the influencer/expressive personalities. Expressive people are easy to spot because they outgoing, enthusiastic and operate with a high energy level. They’re idea people who sometimes struggle to see their ideas through to completion. If you need help you can usually count on them to come through. Expressive people enjoy socializing but can be slow to reach a decision. If you’re an expressive person then people might see you as a fast talker, dramatic and somewhat impulsive. Words that describe people in this class include: verbal, motivating, enthusiastic, convincing, impulsive, influential, charming, confident, dramatic, optimistic and animated.

There were 61 people (24%) who self identified as having the expressive/influencer personality on the survey. As a general statement, people in this group responded most to the principles of consensus, liking and reciprocity. This was very consistent with my gut instinct for this personality.

Consensus 

As the name implies, people in this group are influencers. They understand the power of the crowd because they’re usually the ones moving the masses to action. They can also see the benefit of being part of the group.The second survey question really stood out for this group: Which would be most likely to get you to go out to dinner? The overwhelming answer for the expressive people was – There will be a group of people which might make it more fun. More than 66% chose this as the reason to go to dinner, almost triple the response rate than for this answer – You’ve told your friends you want to spend more time with them so here’s your chance. Interestingly the drivers and amiables were pretty evenly split between those two answers. The expressive folks would rather have fun in a crowd than a small group. On two of the other questions where consensus was a possible choice people in the influencer/expressive category clearly chose the consensus answer more than the other groups and on one other question they were very close to being the top answer.

Liking

It makes complete sense to me that expressive people would be motivated by liking too. As the category name implies, they like to express themselves and often that’s talking about themselves – their accomplishments, likes, dislikes, etc. If you talk with someone of the expressive/influencer type, connect on similarities, offer up sincere compliments and ask questions that will allow them to talk. If you can do this you’ll have a better chance to move them in your direction.

Q – You’ve been considering buying a new laptop, one that’s on the more expensive side. Which most influences your buying decision?

A – A friend has the same laptop and loves it.

A third of the expressive type said the friend would be their main reason for buying the laptop. Consider this; every other group chose that answer about 20% of the time or less. That means 50% more expressive people listed this reason than did the other groups. The other groups were much more motivated by authority than were the expressive/influencers.

Reciprocity

Here’s another motivating principle that makes total sense. People in the expressive/influencer group have lots of friends. One way to build your network of friends is by offering help and engaging reciprocity. Because they understand the value of favors they play by the rules and respond to those who’ve done favors for them.Question 6 was interesting:

Q – You’re married and your spouse asks you to do some light home repairs that might take several hours. You do them primarily because:

A – Your spouse does lots around the house so it’s the least you can do.The vast majority, nearly 73%, responded to the “because my spouse does lots” but the highest percentage came from the influencer/expressive people.

Conclusion

What conclusion can we draw about people in the influencer/expressive category when it comes to persuasion? After you’ve surveyed the situation for what’s naturally available, specifically look for ways to leverage liking, consensus and reciprocity. If authority, consistency and scarcity can be worked into your influence attempt, then by all means do so and you’ll know you’ve taken the right steps to be as persuasive as possible.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping you learn to hear “Yes”.