Tag Archive for: principles of influence

What Chevy Chase Didn’t Do Before Vacation

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I’m sure many of you reading this remember the classic movie Vacation where Chevy Chase played the well meaning but inept family man, Clark Griswold. This week I’m going to share a principle of influence with you then give you a great idea, something Clark Griswold probably didn’t do but you can.

Did you know most people are more motivated by what they stand to lose as opposed to what they might gain? That’s right, people presented with the same opportunity will take you up on that opportunity more often when it’s presented in terms of what they might lose rather than what they stand to gain or save. For example, talking about the money someone might save using your product will not be as big a motivator to buy the product as it would be if you told them how much money they’ll lose if they don’t buy it. “Mr. Customer, if you install our thermal sealed windows you’ll save $300 on your electric bill over the next year,” will not sell as many windows as, “Mr. Customer, if you don’t use our thermal sealed windows you’ll end up paying $300 more on your electric bill over the next year.” It’s really the same thing just stated in a different way.

This all goes back to a psychological principle of persuasion known as scarcity. We are motivated to action when we see something that’s rare or when we believe something will suddenly become less available. It creates in us a greater desire for the thing that’s perceived to be scarce. If you doubt that just think about how much we take people for granted until we lose them or fear we might lose them.

Okay, so perhaps you’re wondering, “How does scarcity tie into Vacation and Clark Griswold?” As I write this we’ve unofficially entered summer because we’re into the first week of June. For those with families it means kids will soon be out of school and summer vacations are just around the corner. That also means many of you will leave work for a week or two in the coming months. You can tap into the scarcity principle to make your vacation a little more enjoyable, provide great customer service and possibly land (or prevent losing) some accounts.

In the past, before you’ve left for vacation, have you ever contacted all of your customers a week in advance to let them know you’d be gone? If you haven’t don’t feel bad because I’m willing to bet 99.9% of people don’t do that even though email and customer lists make it very easy to do. Most people simply tell co-workers they’ll be gone, change their voicemail and turn on the out-of-office message. Think for a moment about what would happen if you took the extra time to contact your customers to let them know a week in advance that you’ll be gone and when they can expect you back.

Doing this allows you to tap into scarcity because I guarantee customers will call or email you very quickly saying something like, “Thanks for letting me know you’d be gone because I really need to talk with you about…”

You may not have ever considered this before but you are a scarce resource because many people depend on you. If those people know you won’t be around much longer that simple fact will change their behavior just like your behavior is changed when you hear or read, “Sale Ends Sunday” or “Only While Supplies Last!”

 

With those calls and emails come your opportunities to land new business and possibly prevent losing some. After all, if a customer needs you they might not want to talk with someone else in your absence. To them that could be the right time to give the other guy, the one who’s begged for their business, a chance. But you can prevent that from happening!

 

And here’s another cool thing. When those people thank you, it’s your chance to strengthen your personal brand so don’t blow them off with something stupid like, “No problem” or “I’d have done it for anyone.” Both of those statements devalue what you’ve just done for them.

 

A better response would be, “That’s part of the great service you can expect when you deal with me. Can I ask you a quick question? Don’t your other suppliers (reps, agents, etc.) let you k
now in advance when they’ll be gone and when they’ll be back?” The answer to that will be, “No, they don’t.” Bingo, you’ve not bad mouthed the competition but you’ve set yourself apart by comparing what you do to what your competitors don’t do.

 

Maybe if Clark Griswold had done this he would have been a little farther up the food chain at work and could have afforded some nicer vacations!

 

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

“Because I said so!” Mom (or Dad)

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You may not be aware of how your mom and dad conditioned you to simply comply with other people’s requests but I’m here to tell you they did. Unknowingly, all mom and dad did was use a single word, the same word their parents probably used on them, and you were set up to be more compliant. What word am I talking about? “Because!”

While “because” makes you “fall in line,” it can actually help you get to the front of the line. A behavioral scientist named Ellen Langer conducted a study in which people standing in line at a copier machine were approached by a stranger who asked, “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” Nearly two out of three people (60%) generously allowed the person to go in front of them. Later the person conducting the experiment approached the copier line and asked unsuspecting people, “May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush.” Hearing she was in a rush, nearly everyone, 94%, told the experimenter she could get in front of them.

Of course if someone is in a rush we might be more generous but the question is this – was it due to being “in a rush” or could it have been something else that caused those people to say “Yes”? Back at it one more time the experimenter asked, “May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?” You’d think people might have denied that request saying, or at least thinking, “We’re all in line to make copies so wait your turn like everybody else!” After all, her was reason irrelevant…and still, 93% of the people let her go ahead! There was virtually no difference in response between a valid and bogus reason when “because” was used.

The social psychologists think we don’t pay attention the reason given because we are so conditioned by the word “because” that we hardly pay attention what comes next. Again, think about your parents when you questioned them about why you had to do something. I’ll bet quite often you heard (and might say to your kids), “Because I said so!”

So how does this understanding impact you? Two ways come to mind. First, it can help you protect yourself. Don’t mindlessly comply with a request without giving thought to the reason you’re being asked to do something. If you don’t you may just find yourself doing something you wished you would not have done.

The second way you can use “because” is to be more persuasive. When my daughter Abigail was younger she used to ask me (she’s a teenager now and doesn’t seem to ask as much any more) what I did at work. I’d share things I thought she’d find interesting and things I felt would really help her some day. Once during a conversation I shared the copier study and told her, “Abigail, whenever you ask someone to do something, always say ‘because’ and give them a reason. If you do that more people will say ‘Yes’ to you.”

Here’s the really cool thing. Some time ago, long after that conversation, Abigail and I were w
atching American Idol and the latest American Idol CD was about to hit stores. Ryan Seacrest was promoting the CD outside a music store where there was a long line. Smart producers were using consensus to get you to believe everyone wanted to buy the new Idol CD. As Ryan would talk about the CD he would try to make his way into the line but each time people motioned him farther back. Eventually he was at the very end of the line with a disappointed look on his face. Out of nowhere Abigail blurts out, “He should have said ‘because.’” I looked surprised and replied, “What?” She said, “Dad, don’t you remember the copier story?”

Wow! I have no clue why some stories stick with kids and other stories don’t but I was sure glad that one stuck because it’s a life skill that will serve her well. It will serve you well too, if you look for ways to use your new understanding of “because.” You know how I know, because the science tells me so…and you can believe that reason!

To let me know what you thought of this week’s posting click on the comments link below and share your thoughts.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

The World’s Most Cited Living Social Psychologist

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In several past blogs I’ve mentioned the name Dr. Robert Cialdini. I thought it would be helpful to let you know more about him for several reasons. First, Dr. Cialdini’s work is the basis for most of what I have shared and will continue to share in this blog.

Obviously having a doctorate gives him lots of credibility but I thought you should know more because he’s the Tiger Woods of his field. He is billed as the world’s most frequently cited living social psychologist.

I met Dr. Cialdini in the summer of 2004 when he was a guest speaker at State Auto. His presentations to our agents on the ethical use of influence were some of the best received ever. Later that year I attended his two-day Principles of Persuasion workshop. His work in the area of ethical influence became the basis for much of the sales training I have conducted since that time.

In January 2008 I had the privilege of spending a week with Dr. Cialdini, Dr. Gregory Neidert and other members of the Influence at Work staff when I earned my CMCT (Cialdini Method Certified Trainer) designation. That week-long training, which concluded with a rather rigorous test (he is a professor after all!), allowed me to earn my CMCT designation. Currently there are only about two dozen active CMCTs world-wide. That certification allows me to conduct Dr. Cialdini’s Principles of Persuasion workshop, which I’ve been doing the past year and a half with State Auto managers and supervisors.

So what’s the big deal about Dr. Cialdini compared to other social psychologists? As I alluded to earlier, he’s recognized as the undisputed leader in his field. If you happened to have read the Time Magazine article “How Obama is Using the Science of Change” you might recall the opening paragraph mentioning “a world-famous team of scientists, psychologists and economists.” The first person quoted in the next paragraph was Dr. Cialdini, the most famous of the world-famous team!
His book Influence: Science and Practice, now on its 5th edition, has sold more than million copies. And, the book recently received an incredible endorsement when it was named the best marketing book of all time in a book entitled The 100 Best Business Books of All-Time. Wow!
Dr. Cialdini recently co-authored Yes: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be More Persuasive along with Dr. Noah Goldstein and Steve Martin. Yes focuses on real world, every day things you can do to be more persuasive. I highly recommend the book.
What I love about teaching ethical influence is its versatility. By that I mean, when you learn about persuasion and adjust your communication style accordingly it will help you be more successful in your career, you’ll negotiate better deals when you’re the customer, and it can even help you be a better spouse or parent. Bottom line, it can help you be more effective and successful in all your relationships.
If you have any doubt about the impact of social psychology and influence then consider this recent example. My daughter Abigail and I were at the Polaris Mall on Saturday and we noticed what looked like a book signing in front of Waldenbooks. We slowed down long enough to see the name of the book which was The Christian Athlete. I told Abigail I didn’t recognize the man behind the counter, who I assumed was the author. A man at the end of the line heard me said, “I’m not sure what it is but it must be good because there’s a line.”
That man’s comment tracks right along with one of Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence – consensus. I’ve mentioned consensus (also referred to as “social proof“) before – it’s the psychological principle which tells us people look to others for clues on how they should act. For the man at the end of the line, the simple fact that many people were in line meant something good awaited him so he joined the crowd. If you take a look at last week’s posting, “Make Your Next Event the One Everybody Attends,” you’ll see how consensus can help, or hurt, your efforts when it comes to promoting a product or gathering.

 

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influence is all about PEOPLE

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This is my first attempt at blogging so please bear with me. In due time I’ll learn more about effective blogging and hopefully you’ll learn more about effective influence and persuasion. Experience and science give me confidence to make the following assertion; if you try some of the things I’ll be sharing with you, over time you will enjoy more success whether at home or at work.

I’m passionate about influence and persuasion so it’s only natural that I share that passion with all of you. I am a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT), currently one of about two dozen people worldwide who are licensed to teach Dr. Robert Cialdini’s 2-day Principles of Persuasion workshop. Dr. Cialdini is the foremost expert in the area of influence. He’s the author of Influence: Science and Practice, the gold standard for persuaders, and recently co-authored Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be More Persuasive along with Noah Goldstein and Steve Martin.

When I talk to groups about the subject of influence I tell them influence is all about PEOPLE…because we don’t try to persuade things. No matter how good my communications skills might be, I cannot persuade my lawnmower to start on its own. But, I might be able to persuade my daughter to start it for me and cut the grass…if my approach is right. Every day, all day long we’re interacting with people trying to get them to do things and there are proven ways to go about it to increase your odds of success.

When I refer to influencing PEOPLE here’s what I want you to think about:

Powerful
Everyday
Opportunities to
Persuade that are
Lasting and
Ethical

In the coming blogs we’ll dig into each of these words and I’ll show you ways to tap into those Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical so you can become a more effective persuader.

I appreciate you taking the time to start this journey with me and welcome your feedback.

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Principle of Reciprocity

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Reciprocity means, “A mutual exchange.” As a principle of influence it could be described in layman’s terms as the good old “give and take” principle or “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” When someone does something for us we typically feel obligated to do something for them in return, to return the favor, so to speak.

You’re probably familiar with all this but you may not realize just how powerfully the principle of reciprocity works on you. Quite often it gets you to do things without you even realizing it! Answer each of the following questions:

  • Have you ever invited someone to a social gathering (party, wedding, graduation, etc.) because they invited you to a similar event?
  • Have you sent Christmas cards to people because they sent you one first?
  • Have you ever donated money to an organization because you received a “free” gift, like mailing labels?
  • If you’ve been to a home party (candles, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, etc.), did you buy something because you would have felt bad not doing so, especially because you were served food and given some gift?
  • During the holidays, have you ever bought Christmas wrapping paper, cards or some other holiday items from kids in the neighborhood because their parents bought things from your kids at some point in time?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then reciprocity was influencing your actions. There is something ingrained in all of us by society from the time we’re young that says it’s only right to return the favor. When you do something for me, I feel obligated to do something for you.

It’s important to understand how the ball gets rolling when it comes to this principle. That happens when you take initiative and act first in a situation.

In a sense you’re giving a gift. That gift could be tangible or intangible but the point is this – your act is usually met in kind by the other person.

As we explore influence you’ll come to learn that gifts are most influential when they have some value, are meaningful to the other person and come unexpectedly.

One last, important point about the principle of reciprocity has to do with concessions.

When someone says “no” to you, if you immediately come back with another request, many times the person will feel obligated to meet you halfway because you’re making the first move.

The Principle of Liking

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The Liking Principle is obvious to most of us – people like to do business with people they like. Or, as Jeffrey Gitomer says, “All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends. All things not being so equal, people still want to do business with their friends.”

For that matter, almost anything we do in life we prefer doing with people we like and enjoy being around. What’s not so obvious is how we get people to like us more. Actually, it may surprise you to learn that the key to the liking principle isn’t so much about getting others to like us; it’s really about us coming to like them. Too often people are concerned with doing whatever it takes to get people to like them, failing to realize if they genuinely like the person they’re with, that person will sense it and naturally reciprocate.

What can you do to bring this about? There are three specific things: focus on similarities, give compliments and look for cooperative efforts. We’ll take a quick look at each of these.

Ever notice how people who like the same sports teams have a natural connection? Or people who own the same car? The same could be said of so many things and so many interests. What you need to do is keep an eye out for those things you have in common with the person you’re with. Raise those commonalities to the surface and you’ll begin to form a liking connection.

Let’s be honest, we all enjoy a compliment…even when we see it as pure flattery. But, you don’t have to give a dishonest compliment because there’s always something sincere you can compliment someone about (an outfit, a tie, an award, their office, etc.). By looking for the good in someone you will naturally tend to like them a little more. They’ll appreciate the compliment and in turn come to like you more as well.

Working together toward a goal, a cooperative effort, helps people set aside their differences because of the task at hand. Even if we felt like we didn’t like the other person we’re with, quite often we start finding out “they’re not so bad after all” as we get to know them when we work together. As our walls come down so do theirs and liking happens.

So, if you want to get more done at work, or in life overall, then try liking the people with whom you associate more. You can’t necessarily make them like you but you can choose to focus on what you have in common rather than your differences. You can make a conscious effort to look for the good in them rather than their flaws. And lastly, you can try to work in harmony with them. Do those simple things and you’ll like that other person a little more. Will everyone respond in kind? No, but many will and that will make your life a little easier and make you a bit more successful.

 

The Principle of Consensus

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The Principle of Consensus tells us, when people are unsure how to act in certain situations, they tend to look to others to see how they should respond. It makes me think about the old saying, “There’s safety in numbers.”

For example, when making a major purchase on something we don’t know lots about, we just feel better when we know there have been many other satisfied customers. After all, what are the chances all those people were all wrong?

If you’re the parent of a teenager, you know this principle is true because you’re constantly warning against “peer pressure” when it’s related to bad choices. During their teens, kids look to other kids for their cues on how to talk, dress and act.

Even though they may see themselves as different, to adults most teenagers look and act alike. The reality is, teens may be different than their parents but they’re just the same as their friends.

How can understanding the consensus principle help you? Two ways. First, just share with people whose behavior you’re trying to influence how lots of other people are already doing what you’re asking them to do.

The second way would be to share with them what people like them are doing. We are very motivated to want to move with the crowd because we’ve been taught there’s safety in numbers.

The Principle of Authority

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“If an expert says it, then it must be true,” is the basis of the Authority Principle.

Why is it so often the case that we believe the perceived experts? We live in a time when more information than ever is available at our finger tips because of the Internet, and that’s good. Unfortunately, we’re so overloaded with information and so busy with our lives that most of us simply don’t have enough time to digest it all. So, we look for shortcuts. One shortcut is to look to see what the experts have to say about our question.

Studies show that people are more likely to comply with a request when it comes from an expert. That means you’re more likely to make a change in your eating habits, or begin an exercise program, if a doctor tells you to make the change, than if a friend or even a nurse makes the suggestion.

Another example would be Consumer Reports. Many of you reading this may be regular subscribers to Consumer Reports because it’s a trusted “expert.”

Consumer Reports takes vast amounts of information on various products and pares it down so you can make quick, easy decisions as to which products to purchase. If Consumer Reports gives a poor rating to a product, most likely it won’t be a big seller.

Knowing this, how can you make authority work for you? People are typically seen as experts because of their knowledge and trustworthiness.

You can increase your trustworthiness, and thus authority, by admitting a weakness early on. But, be sure to share your strength afterwards so they remember the strength more than the weakness.

A weakness can be as simple as, “I’m not sure about the answer to that question. Would you mind if I did a little research and called you back?”

After you’ve done your homework, and call back with the answer, cite your resources (hopefully experts) and your chances for success have just gone up significantly.

Speaking of resources, you can also establish your authority by citing other experts.

How many times has it been the case that you shared information and forgot to share the source of the information? If you don’t cite the resource, what you share may be seen as your opinion and nothing more.

You may not realize it but you are influenced by things like:

  • Dress – People in uniforms or those who are well dressed tend to get their way more often.
  • Titles – If someone has credentials (CPCU, CPA, Dr., etc.) we tend to listen to them more.
  • Trappings – Even things like fine jewelry or the car you drive do make a difference.
  • Experience – The longer someone has been at something, the more we defer to their expertise.

So there you have it, a quick overview of authority.

The Principle of Consistency

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If you had to sum up the Principle of Consistency I suppose you could say this, “People generally want to be consistent in word and deed.” Think about a time you gave your word but did not do what you’d promised. How did you feel? If you’re like most people, you didn’t feel too good and probably try to avoid that feeling next time you give your word.

Knowing other people probably feel the same way, how can you make the consistency principle work for you? Simple; because people are more likely to do something that’s consistent with what they’ve openly professed before, attitudes they already hold or something they’ve done in the past, your odds for success increase significantly if you can get them to commit to you. The easiest way to go about this is to ask a question and wait for a response.

Parents, how often have you gone through this scenario: your child’s room is a mess so you say, “Clean your room!” If your child is like most, you walk by the room later in the day only to find it just as messy…if not worse! When you ask him why the room isn’t clean, typical responses include, “I didn’t hear you” or “I didn’t know you wanted me to do it right away” or “I was going to in a minute!”

Next time try asking this question, “Will you please clean your room?” The key is to then wait for the verbal reply. If you don’t hear a reply, just ask the question again. Will your child always clean the room after saying “yes?” No, but by simply asking a question rather than issuing a command engages the principle of consistency and your odds for success have increased greatly.

In Dr. Cialdini’s book, Influence: Science and Practice, he cites a study in which researchers had someone put a radio on a blanket next to another person, and then left for a brief time. Shortly thereafter, a “thief” came along and took the radio. They repeated this scenario 20 times and only four people intervened in any way.

But, when the experiment was repeated and the person putting the radio down asked the other person “to watch my things,” 19 out of 20 times the strangers intervened when the “thief” came along! The only difference was getting a verbal commitment!

Simply asking questions rather than making statements is the best way to engage the principle of commitment and consistency.

The Principle of Scarcity

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Scarcity boils down to this for most people — if I can’t have it, then I want it! If something is scarce that means it’s not plentiful and usually difficult to come by. It’s amazing how people respond differently when they suddenly know something they want is in short supply or may not be around for long.

If you’ve raised kids then you’ve definitely seen this principle at work. Just tell your child what toy they can’t have and suddenly it’s the only toy they want to play with! Or tell them what they can’t do and that’s all they’ll want to do!

As you read the following, answer the questions based on your personal experience:

  • Have you hurried out to a store because you heard the sale ends Sunday?
  • Did you ever buy a Disney DVD for your kids because “soon it will go back into the
  • Disney vault?”
  • Have you ever bought something for your home (roof, gutters, siding, paint) because the salesman said you can save 10%, if you signed right then?
  • Do you buy gas now when the price hits $2.25 because you think it will go to $2.50 (or higher) over the weekend?
  • Have you ever bought something on the Home Shopping Network because the little clock on the screen was ticking away?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions then scarcity was influencing your decisions. It’s natural for us to hurry and make decisions because the thing we want is becoming less available or is in short supply.

Research on this subject lets us in on something else important. People are generally more motivated by knowing what they stand to lose as opposed to what they stand to gain. For example, saying, “If you choose not to buy our product, you will lose $500 dollars a year” will motivate more people to buy the product than will be motivated by saying, “If you buy our product you will save $500 a year.” If you know you’ll have more success using the first sentence, wouldn’t you want to do so?

Now you have a brief overview of the scarcity principle.