Tag Archive for: psychology of persuasion

A Persuasion Trump Card

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Are you a fan of Donald Trump’s show “The Apprentice?” When it first aired I watched it religiously because I learned some business tips but I don’t watch it so much anymore because there’s usually too much drama and too few tips. That said, I was watching an episode recently where Donald Trump’s new cologne, “Success by Trump,” was introduced. Each celebrity team’s challenge was to design an in-store display and come up with a slogan for the new fragrance which will be carried by Macy’s. The teams were judged by Trump and Macy’s executives on the creativity of their slogan, their brand messaging and the in-store display presentation they developed.

Aubrey O’Day, project manager for one team, suggested the tagline, “Trust your instinct.” Almost immediately Arsenio Hall found a Donald Trump quote online where The Donald asked, “Do you trust your instinct?”

At that very moment I knew Aubrey’s team would win the task. How did I know? I knew because I understand the principle of consistencyand it is very apparent Donald Trump is a pragmatic when it comes to personality type. Allow me to explain how these two facts led to my immediate conclusion.

Let’s start with one of Robert Cialdini’s six principles of influence, the principle of consistency, sometimes known as “commitment and consistency.” This principle tells us people feel internal psychological pressure to remain consistent in word and deed. Most people feel bad when they say they’ll do something but then back out, even if their reason for backing out is completely legitimate. That’s why people go to great lengths to keep their word.

In addition to that aspect of consistency we need to remember people are more easily persuaded to do something when it aligns with what they’ve already said or done. In other words, tying your product or idea to what someone has already publicly stated will make the persuasion process much easier. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Several years ago I did a survey with my blog readers on personality types and influence approaches. Using a basic four quadrant DISC model (pragmatic, expressive, amiable, analytic) I had people self-identify then take a short survey so I could find out if there were influence approaches that worked best with certain personalities. My data clearly showed there were, and when it came down to it, for the pragmatic consistency was one of the three principles that worked best.

Pragmatics are described using these terms: action-orientated, decisive, problem solver, direct, assertive, demanding, risk taker, forceful, competitive, independent, determined, thrive on challenges, strong intrinsic motivation to succeed, practical, focused, results oriented, direct and straight to the point. Doesn’t that sound like Donald Trump to you?

Let me ask you a couple of questions about persuading someone like Donald Trump.

  1. Do you think he will be more persuaded by someone trying to buddy up to him using the liking principleor will he respond more to potential lost opportunities using scarcity? I vote scarcity every time.
  2. Do you think he will be more swayed by what everyone else is doing using consensusor more by the presentation of hard data using the authority principle? I’ll go with authority in this case.

As soon as Aubrey O’Day came up with the tagline and Arsenio Hall tied it to Trump’s own words it was a sure bet The Donald would love it. It was also a sure bet if he loved it the Macy’s executives would not try to change his mind. When both teams went to the board room I was proven correct.

What does this mean for you? In your attempt to persuade others you’ll certainly be more successful when you understand the psychology of persuasion and how to ethically leverage it. However, using a shotgun approach with the principles is akin to mass marketing which will never be as effective as target marketing that considers the specifics of the audience. In the same way, knowing the type of person you’re trying to persuade allows you to look for legitimate opportunities to use principles that will be most effective for that personality type.

Sure, Donald Trump likes to be liked and is somewhat interested in what others are doing, but if you rely on those to persuade him you’ll never be as effective as you could be by tapping into principles as I outlined in the questions above.

Here’s my advice: next time you go into an influence situation give thought to the personality type you’ll be dealing with then consider the best principles of influence to use. If you do so you’ll have a persuasion Trump card. To find out more about how to do this click on each of the personality types below.

Pragmatic/Driver
Expressive/Influencer
Facilitator/Amiable
Thinker/Analytic

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Positive Mental Attitude is an Essential Persuasion Tool

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If you follow me on Facebook then you know I broke my right ankle back in March when I stepped on my wife’s boot heel the morning after our 24th anniversary celebration. When this all happened I passed out so Jane called an ambulance and I was subjected to 12 hours of tests and waiting (more waiting than tests) in the emergency room. I was there so long because doctors were concerned with my unusually low heart rate coupled with the passing out incident. I could go on and on but you get the picture; not exactly a great way to start the 25th year of marriage. Did I mention I was in a walking boot for six weeks?

On the surface that sounds like a bummer and I won’t lie, I wish it hadn’t happened. If not for the broken ankle I could have done two activities I enjoy dearly – driving my car and running. I also wouldn’t have inconvenienced some people because I needed rides to and from work. And let’s not forget all the money I would have saved.
Having taught classes on maintaining a positive mental attitude – and knowing I was going to have to teach that very same class in the walking boot – I had to practice what I preach. So how does one find the positive in all this?
Let’s start with my trip to the emergency room. When a resident asked what happened, I told her, “I did something different this morning. Normally I leave the lights off so I don’t wake up my wife but since she was already awake I turned on the light. I think I passed out when I saw her beauty so early in the morning.” She chuckled and Jane just rolled her eyes.
I didn’t get upset when a nurse mistakenly told us I was scheduled to have a pacemaker put in at noon. Jane on the other hand started to freak out thinking I was going to meet God before she did.
Knowing there would be some hefty hospital bills, Jane was feeling bad that this all started with her boot. My attitude – we can’t change it, we don’t know what we’ll be charged so why worry about it? There’s never any sense in worrying about things you have no control over so why let them get you down?

I’ve tried to have fun with it as I tell the story. People expect to hear something manly like breaking it while running or at taekwondo. Nope, nothing manly about stepping on your wife’s boot heel at four in the morning. But I usually have them laughing when I end the story with this line, “Better that she broke my ankle than my heart.”
The rides to work were fun because Cobi Dorn and Terra Boroff are such nice people and they both have a great sense of humor. They had to in order to put up with me, my ego and all the bad jokes I tell. Being the astute observer of human behavior that I am, I think they enjoyed having me  around … at least in small doses.
My spring break trip to Chicago with Abigail was more memorable in the walking boot and airport security wasn’t as big a hassle as you might think.
Perhaps my favorite pastime during all of this was watching Jane cut the grass while I drank beer sitting on the deck with my feet up. In fact, it was such a good time I made sure to preserve it with some photos and Facebook updates. Jane’s guilt has passed and she reminds during those times that she can also break my other ankle.
And one more thing – and this almost makes it all worth it – was a dinner with insurance agents that Jane came to because I needed a ride home. For those of you who have been married for any length of time you might be able to relate. When she picked me up for dinner she looked like a million bucks in a slinky black dress! It was one of those times you stare at your spouse, and even after all those years, feel the same way you did when you first met them. It was a good night!
So why am I sharing all of this in a blog on influence? The principle of liking tells us we like people who like us. There’s nothing worse than being around someone who is cranky and negative most or all of the time. A lot of people would have responded that way causing others to avoid them. I chose a different path and I hope people found it funny and entertaining. I think it make me more likable and people enjoyed being around me.
Each of you has a choice to make when seemingly bad things come your way. You can choose to look for the good or find ways to manufacture some good. If you do so you’ll probably be a little happier for it and those who are around you will benefit as well. And in the midst of it all, if you need a favor, help or have to make some other request, the odds that you’ll hear “Yes” will be dramatically better than if you do nothing but complain.

If you’re viewing this by email and want to listen to the audio version click here. If you want to leave a comment click here. 

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear
“Yes”.

Ethical Influence for Business Coaches

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A few months ago I had the privilege of addressing several dozen business coaches from the Central Ohio Chapter of the International Coach Federation at The Ohio State University. My hour-long presentation focused on how they could use certain principles of influence to help their clients obtain better business results.

I opened the presentation sharing about PEOPLE – those Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. I also spent time on three of Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence  –  reciprocity, authority and consistency  –  defining each principle then citing scientific research to help attendees understand just how powerful the principles can be in the communication process. I also shared real world application for each principle to help those in attendance envision how they might use each in their daily attempts to ethically persuade others.
Below is the video clip where I introduced my PEOPLE concept – those Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical.  

If you’re viewing this by email click here to watch the video on YouTube.



In the coming months I’ll share other clips from the presentation to help you better understand how the power of persuasion can help you hear “Yes” more often.


Is your organization looking for a keynote speaker or training on ethical influence and persuasion? If so, reach out to me by email at BFA654@gmail.com. 

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Why 1 in 3 Americans Might be Cheating on their Taxes

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This is the second time in recent months I’ve found myself riding the coattails of Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational, The Upside of Irrationality and most recently, The Honest Truth about Dishonesty.

With the approach of April 17, the last day to file taxes  in the United States, Ariely wrote a blog post on Taxes and Cheating. There’s an old saying from Ben Franklin, “There are only two certainties in life, death and taxes,” and apparently people would like to “cheat” both.
Cheating on taxes was in the headlines several years ago because Tim Geithner, Treasury Secretary for the United States, was questioned by Congress for failing to pay about $40,000 in taxes while he worked for the International Monetary Fund. On the surface it’s easy to conclude if people see someone cheating on their taxes they’re more likely to do so as well but is that supported by hard evidence? This question prompted Ariely and colleagues to conduct a little experiment to see if more people would cheat when they saw others cheating.
I’ll leave to you to read Ariely’s blog post on the subject if you want details on the experiment but for our purposes I’ll simply note the results – people cheated more when they saw others cheat. And, there was more likelihood of cheating when the cheaters were similar in some way (i.e., went to the same college) to those who observed them cheating.
If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, Ariely’s conclusion should not surprise you because it’s simply an application of Robert Cialdini’s principle of consensus, otherwise known as social proof or peer pressure. This principle of influence tells us we are influenced by the actions of others. The more people that are involved, the more we are influenced or the more similar we see those others to ourselves, the more we are influenced by their behavior.
For example, kids will be influenced to smoke when they see other people smoke, such as their parents. However, when teens have two or three friends who smoke, the odds that they’ll take up the bad habit are astronomically higher than the example set by parents. Why? Because they take their cues on how to act far more from their peers because they want to fit into that social group. Thus we get the term “peer pressure.”
Here’s another experiment to convince you. Trick-or-treaters in Seattle were observed on Halloween. When a single child came up to the door, he or she was told to only take one piece of candy; then the parent walked away. The child now has a dilemma; he knows what to do but also knows he could get away with taking more than one piece and no one will be the wiser. Only 7.5% broke the parent’s rule and took more than one piece of candy. Not bad.
It gets interesting when the kids came to the door in groups. With the same set of instructions, more than 20% of kids took extra candy! Why did the number almost triple? Simple; when that small percentage of kids who would take extra even if alone were observed by their friends, the friends decided they too should get more candy. This is a classic example of peer pressure that parents are always warning kids about.
It’s no coincidence that I posted this the day before Americans are supposed to have their taxes filed and paid this year. In 2001 it was estimated 30%-40% of Americans cheated on their taxes shortchanging the government about $345 billion and more recent estimates are still in that range! With record deficits we need every penny to pay down our debt but how can the government expect the average citizen to be honest if the person running the U.S. Treasury is either dishonest or too inept to understand the tax code? You and I can’t solve that one but at least we can be more cognizant of consensus in both how to ethically use it, and avoid its potential negative impact on us.
P.S.
This wasn’t as taxing to write as you might think.
If you’re viewing this by email and want to listen to the audio version click here. If you want to leave a comment click here.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear
“Yes”.

Influential Words of Wisdom from the Lord

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I didn’t grow up going to church but I remember being about seven years old, looking at some red flowers in the porch area of our apartment and having a deep belief there was a God and I’d be okay. However, it wasn’t until I was in high school and college that I began pursing my faith a bit more.

When I finally got serious about my faith and church, I dove in head first and gave it my all, leading several Bible studies a week for many years. My faith grew as I read the Bible and I decided to start putting my thoughts about God down on paper. It became a project of sorts because I wanted to eventually give it to my daughter, Abigail. After several years of writing, and about a thousand pages of typing, I finished my own little Bible commentary.

I share that so you’ll have a better understanding of where I come from with this post and possibly others down the road. Ever since I started blogging I’ve thought about writing some posts about how influence and persuasion are used throughout the Bible and in particular, in the words of Jesus. Considering yesterday was Easter I thought the timing for this post was appropriate.

If you’ve ever read the sayings and teachings of Jesus then you know He was an influential man. Some would say He’s the most influential person who ever lived. Whatever your view about Him and His claims, there’s no denying He influenced the course of humanity. With that in mind let’s take a look at Luke, chapter 6, beginning in verse 32 when the Lord taught his disciples,

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do well to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great.”

I’d like to dissect this in terms of the principle of reciprocity. Reciprocity is the psychological principle describing the reality that people feel obligated to repay those who’ve done something for them.

When I hold training sessions one of the most common mistakes participants make is confusing reciprocity with rewards. Rewards are based on an “if – then” system. For example, your boss says, “If you reach these goals then you’ll get a bonus.” Or your teacher might say, “If you get a 90% or higher on the test then you’ll get an A in this class.” You do something to get something so a reward is akin to contractual arrangement. I tell people rewards bring closure but reciprocity initiates.

Jesus said it was no big deal, “If you love those who love you,” and “If you do well to those who are good to you.” If you think about it, in both cases reciprocity is at work but you’re the one it’s working on. It’s natural for you to love back or do something good in return because you feel psychologically compelled to do so. People loving you or doing good to you engages you to respond in kind.

Jesus encouraged His disciples to love first and do good to others first. That’s the key to reciprocity – be the first to act! There’s a risk when you initiate, when you engage people first by loving and giving without expectation, because they might not respond in kind.

Marketers use reciprocity all the time and while it helps drive results the response rate is far from 100%. For example, Easter Seals, March of Dimes, St. Jude’s and other organizations send people personalized address labels. Each organization knows when people receive small gifts like that they’re more likely to donate in return. In Influence Science and Practice, Dr. Cialdini cites a statistic that says charitable donations doubled, going from an 18% response rate of giving to 35%, when mailing labels are given as a gift.

Of course, the marketers expect a better return and that’s why they engage us in that manner. Although the response rate wasn’t 100% it’s enough to justify the practice. I think I can safely say if they didn’t get a better response rate when including the address labels they’d stop sending that “free gift.” This begs the question; are they really a gift? I’d say they are because we can use them or discard them and the marketers will never know.

But here’s the difference between marketers and Jesus; Jesus never stopped loving even when His gift was rejected and He encourages us to never stop loving and doing good. Some people will respond favorably and some won’t but either way we can be encouraged because Jesus made a promise, that one day we’ll eventually have a great reward.

My encouragement to you is to do the same – look to engage people with reciprocity. What do you have that could genuinely help others if you gave it away – time, money, talent, knowledge, or something else? Giving it away is one reason I blog because I want to help you understand the science of persuasion so your personal and professional lives will flourish. If this is helping you then pay it forward today and look for ways to help someone else.

The Worst Kind of Loss

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In this month’s Influencers from Around the
World post we get the distinct privilege of hearing from Anthony McLean, CMCT.
Anthony is the only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer in Australia. His
background is unique, having spent more than a dozen years as a police sergeant
and an intelligence officer, he now uses the skills he learned on the job in
his study of behavioural intelligence, the role of emotions and most
importantly, influence and the science of persuasion. He’s currently the
Executive Director of NewIntelligence.
You can connect with Anthony on Facebook,
LinkedIn
and Twitter.
 
Brian,
CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear
“Yes”. 
The Worst Kind of Loss
We are all familiar with Dr Cialdini’s Principle
of Scarcity
and the notion that it motivates people to act to avoid losing something of
value.  As a universal rule that guides
behaviour, it is as prevalent in Australia as elsewhere around the world. 
But is all loss the same? 
A study found that 75% of people polled
said they experienced greater regret for the things in life “they did not do” over the regrettable
actions “they did do” (Gilovich and
Medvec).
A second study asked people between the
ages of 20-64 if they could live their life over to do something different
would they rectify a regrettable inaction or a regrettable action.
Overwhelmingly the study found people would rectify a regrettable inaction
(Kinnier and Metha).
Anyone who has experienced a situation in
which they did not act and later came to regret this inaction knows the
sensation of opportunity lost.  This is
opposed to the regret associated with a decision we have made but due to the
consequences that often involve loss we come to regret the active decision made.
Personally I know that I reflect
differently on the regret of not taking the opportunity to live overseas when I
had the chance, over decisions that I have made that later proved to be a loss,
such as when I sold a property for twice what I paid for it only to find out it
would double in value again within a few short years with absolutely no
improvements made.
When we add time into the equation we find
that people who were asked what their biggest regret of the past week was, they
were more likely to report things they had done. Those asked about the biggest
regrets over their life would report regrettable inaction, i.e., the things
they did not do.
An explanation for this is when focusing on
the present we are perhaps still in damage control, looking for ways to rectify
a regrettable action. Therefore in the short-term regrettable actions can be
remedied to some degree.  Whereas with
missed opportunities or regrettable inaction the opportunity is often fleeting
and difficult to recapture and therefore there may never be an opportunity for
a second chance. 
Implication
If you are considering an action but fear
the consequences, as part of your decision consider how difficult it will be to
reclaim ground through apologies, subsequent action, etc., if it goes wrong.
Then consider the consequences if you fail
to act altogether and ask yourself, “What are the chances of this opportunity
ever coming around again?”
If you get your decision wrong, you will
have an emotional event such as anger, embarrassment, etc., but this will fade
with time. If you fail to act and you later regret this inaction you are far
more likely to experience despair and other associated emotions that are more
likely to persist (Gilovich, Medvec and Kahneman).
Therefore in the words of Ekhart Tolle, “Any action is often better than
no action,” because we can often recover from an action gone bad;
inaction can haunt us for life.
The caveat on this of course is you are all
rational-thinking people so actions and inactions in your life will be guided
by your own personal circumstances. A decision not to act is still an action,
so regret the action taken and learn from the decision’s failure rather than
ponder what may have been.
If you have not seen it I would encourage
you to watch the video 50 People: 1
Question Gallway Ireland 2011. In this video participants are asked about
their biggest life regret and it is interesting to look at the regrettable
actions, inactions and those who say they have no regrets. If you’d like to watch
the video click
here.  
If you’re viewing this by email and want to leave a comment click here.  
Anthony McLean, CMCT

Give Them Reasons to Listen to You

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If you’re on Facebook then you might have seen the following post recently. If you’re not a Facebook user you might have heard the story in one form or another:

A man sat at a metro station in Washington D.C., and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. Only six people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. The violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
I viewed this not from the angle of failing to appreciate beauty but through the lens of influence. I contend a big reason people didn’t stop is because they had no frame of reference for what was taking place. After all, how many of us could tell the difference between a very good violinist and a great one? Probably very few of us. And how many of us could tell the difference between notes played on a $1,000 violin and one worth millions? Even fewer I might guess.
Had there been something to let people know in advance that one of the world’s most famous musicians was playing a multi-million dollar instrument it’s a sure bet people would have stopped if for no other reason than curiosity. This goes to the principle of authority and its proper use in the persuasion process.
This principle of influence tells us people look to experts when they’re unsure of the right course of action to take. The more uncertain they are the more they depend on the other person’s expertise. The problem however is this; sometimes people have no clue who the person is they’ve encountered and have no idea about their expertise.
This is why it’s critical in the persuasion process to let people know  your credentials up front; it gives them a reason to listen. After all, if someone is giving free advice on money matters you may or may not listen to them.  But if you find out it’s Warren Buffet, one of the richest people in the world, you’ll probably stop what you’re doing and give him your full attention because his advice might make you a lot better off financially.
Each of us engages the persuasion process daily because we ask people to do things and hope to hear them say, “Yes.” My question for you is this; do you let those you deal with know about your expertise? If not, you should; you could become a much more effective persuader.
It’s actually pretty simple to do this most of the time so I’ll share two things I regularly do. First; when I speak to an audience about influence I make sure the event host reads my bio. I want to make sure the audience knows before I speak that I’m one of only 27 people in the world certified to train on behalf of Robert Cialdini, PhD., when it comes to psychology of persuasion. I also want them to know my blog has been viewed by people in more than 175 countries around the world. Both of those facts give me instant credibility when people might be uncertain initially as to why they should give my words more weight than some other sales trainer.
A second simple way to convey authority is through the letter of introduction. Whenever I accompany a State Auto associate on a sales coaching call to an insurance agency I make sure my boss sends an email to the agency owner before I ever step foot inside their business. This is easily accomplished because the email is just a variation of the bio I use when doing public speaking. This removes the “who’s the home office guy” thought that might cross the mind of the agency owner and helps to establish my credibility before I arrive.
So here’s my persuasion advice: next time you go to an important meeting or speaking engagement, take advantage of the principle of authority by making sure those you interact with know who you are and what your credentials are beforehand. Establishing your expertise upfront will make them pay more attention and give you an opportunity to shine when you build your case and make your presentation.
If you’re viewing this by email and want to listen to the audio version click here. If you want to leave a comment click here.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Counteracting Liars, Cheaters and Thieves

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 Did you know Britons are becoming less honest according to a recent study? This was brought to my attention in a blog post from Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational and The Upside of Irrationality. This particular post caught my eye because he referred to people looking to their peers for behavioral cues when he wrote:
Researchers observed that while women were slightly more honest than men, the most appreciable differences were found among different age groups. Young people were significantly more tolerant of dishonest behavior than older people—for instance, only around 30% of people under age 25 thought lying on a job application was never justifiable as opposed to 55% of people over 65. Neither income level nor education affected levels of honesty.
The problem is that over time, if no one counteracts the spread of dishonesty, it is likely to continue. Because we generally look to our peers for cues on what kinds of behaviors are acceptable, if lying on job applications seems to be par for the course, it will increase in frequency. So does this mean that England will be governed by degenerates in a few decades? I guess we’ll see.
Something that will influence the direction of the county will be how the survey information is conveyed. Ariely’s reference to peers looking to others for cues on how to behave is the principle of consensus at work in rather dramatic fashion. It’s unfortunate but true that people will behave as they see others behaving. If kids see or learn about other kids cheating, many more will cheat because they believe they too can get away with it.
There was an interesting study done in the Seattle area with kids during Halloween. When trick-or-treaters came up to the door they were told to only take one piece of candy then the parent turned and walked away. When children were by themselves only 7.5% took more than one piece. However, when they were in groups, more than 20%, nearly triple, took more than they were supposed to. It was a classic case of kids looking to their peers then doing what they did. Billy might not have taken extra candy when he was alone but when he saw little Johnny take two or three pieces he decided to also.
Another application of consensus we’re all familiar with takes place on the highway. Have you ever come up to a sign that alerts you to the fact that there is construction ahead and lanes are merging? Most of the time drivers play nice and fall in line as soon as they can but every now and then someone gets impatient, pulls out of line and zooms to the front before darting into the last available opening. When that happens it always seems to give permission to other drivers to follow suit and in the end everyone waits in traffic even longer because of the impatient few.
Back to the study. Merely reporting how Britons are becoming less honest and showing rising numbers is likely to make the problem worse as more people consider actions they would not have otherwise — just like the kids in the Halloween study.
So how can concerned people possibly counteract this? If I were charged with reporting the findings, but not wanting to cause the problem to get worse, I might write something like this:
Neither income level nor education affected levels of honesty. Researchers observed that while women were slightly more honest than men, the appreciable differences are between younger and older Britons. Young people seem to be more tolerant of dishonest behavior than older people – for instance, only about 30% of people under age 25 thought lying on a job application was never justifiable. However, more than half (55%) of people over age 65 said lying on a job application was never justifiable.
One could conclude if no one counteracts the spread of dishonesty it is likely to continue and spread over time as the young become older and account for a great potion of the country’s population. But let’s pause for a moment
and reflect on older people’s view on the subject. Perhaps nearly twice as many older Britons view the same behavior as intolerable because they have more life experience and appreciate how society works better when people play by the rules. Maybe those young people who feel the need to grab what they want at any cost will come to the same conclusion their older, wiser fellow countrymen have come to. Only time will tell.
So here’s my persuasion advice: next time you have negative news to share about how a group or groups of people are behaving (lying, cheating, stealing, etc.) give pause to consider the following:
  • Will my presentation help or hurt in terms of encouraging the behavior?
  • How can I present the information in an accurate manner and enhance the social good at the same time?

Ultimately what needs to be shared is how people who are
doing things right, honestly and ethically, are behaving. The more people hear about and read about that socially beneficial behavior the more likely they are to conform to the good and not the bad so in the end we’re all better off.
If you’re viewing this by email and want to listen to the audio version click here. If you want to leave a comment click here.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You
Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Life Well Lived: Kathleen Schwartz

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Today’s post is not about any of the principles of influence, rather it’s about the influence one person can have on so many. Yesterday Jane, Abigail and I visited a good friend, Kathleen Schwartz, after she’d been admitted to a hospice care facility. Barring a miracle she will not be with us much longer, so as you can imagine we’re all filled with sadness.

During our time there I told her husband Mark we’re all better people because of knowing Kathleen. We met her when she was Abigail’s middle school gym teacher and volleyball coach. She was tough, once calling a time out during a volleyball match to make the girls do finger tip pushups because of a mental mistake. She’d warned the girls she would do that and she was true to her word. As parents we loved seeing that kind of disciple instilled in the girls.

Click here to view the video if you’re reading this in an email.

Despite being hard on the girls they knew one thing above all – Kathleen loved them. There was correction for mistakes, but it was always balanced with hugs and lots of affirmation.
She was also the girls’ teacher for a life skills class. As 8th graders getting ready to leave the relative shelter of Polaris Christian Academy’s school environment, Kathleen prepared them for many of the changes they would encounter as teens in public high school. One bit of advice we laughed at and will never forget is when she told the girls, “If you hear a zipper, run!”
During my high school years Todd Alles, my football coach, instilled things in me that still impact my decision making nearly every day. When coach Alles told us, “You’ll learn a lot about life playing this game,” it rang hollow to most of us who played for him. However, as is the case with most people who grow up, we look back now and marvel at his wisdom. Kathleen was Abigail’s Todd Alles because what Kathleen taught Abigail will stay with her the rest of her life and Abigail will be a better person because of those life lessons.
Everything was fine in early December when Kathleen and Mark stopped by for Abigail’s 16th birthday party. Not feeling well towards the end of the month she was diagnosed in early January with a very rare form of cancer. Now in early March we all wonder why God seems to be calling her home so quickly. However, as Christians we adhere to the Apostle Paul’s words, “God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Difficult times are ahead for Kathleen’s family, her students, and for her friends but we cling to Paul’s promise. Good things will come from this and great things have already come from her life.
The influence of her life stemmed from her love of God and desire to live as His son lived. Love isn’t a principle of influence but it’s the most powerful force of change in the universe. When we unconditionally give ourselves to others it changes them. Our world would be a much better place if we all looked for ways to love more and thought of ourselves less.
Jane and I will never forget seeing Kathleen comfort Abigail, hugging her and telling her everything would be alright. That’s love when someone dying is still giving! 

This was not the post you may have expected but I hope it influences you to go out today and look for ways to genuinely love someone. Doing so will help spread Kathleen’s influence far beyond what she ever would have imagined and that would be a fitting tribute to a live well lived. God bless!

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Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Could Shakespeare give Women Career Advice?

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This month’s guest blogger in the Influencers from Around the World series is Cathrine Moestue. Cathrine hails from Norway and is one of only 27 Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world! In addition to her intelligence and business savvy Cathrine is a lot of fun to engage with. If you’d like to connect with her she’s on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. I know you’ll enjoy “Could Shakespeare give Women Career Advice?”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Could Shakespeare give Women Career Advice?

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; and one woman in her time plays many parts.” William Shakespeare, As You Like It.

This quotation has several meanings. First, and most simply, it means we all have roles to play. We like to think we are independent, and that we choose how we act, but in reality we have many unconscious habits that can jeopardize our true authority in the workplace. It is not just about doing a good job it is also about both looking and sounding the part.

As a corporate trainer and business coach, my success depends upon my clients reaching their goals after having worked together. In this blog post I want to share some insights and tips from the science of influence along with my experience coaching women in their careers.

Recently I have encountered a problem with competent business women  dressing in a way that makes me perceive them more like “girls,” rather than looking the part their professional roles would dictate.

They all shared with me that they were passed over for career opportunities they wanted and were qualified for. Not all of them to the same degree or even in the same way, but this was a shared experience. Could this be because of the way they looked? I think so.

I have always been fascinated with the phrase “perception is reality” because it challenges us to take a mental step back and do a reality check on our automatic reactions in any given situation. It is true – there is no reality, only people’s perception.

If you want to be more empowered and increase your influence skills, it is wise to do a “reality check” on your beliefs and spend time learning what behaviors increase your effectiveness. The best place to look is the science of influence.

Robert Cialdini, PhD, writes in Influence: Science and Practice, that our authority is communicated through cues, which include all your nonverbal cues, the way you look and the sound of your voice are more important than you might think. These are the small things that make the big differences.

One study found people were 350% more likely to follow a 31-year old jaywalker into traffic when he was wearing a suit compared to when he wore trousers and a work shirt. Our clothing provides an efficient, effective shortcut, useful for both simple and complicated decisions. Clothing is one thing, but your tone of voice is just as important, and together they can be more important than what you actually say.

What “cues” do you wear that might increase or decrease the perception of you as an authority in your work environment? If you don’t want to miss the next chance for a promotion or you just want to be taken more seriously, make sure you don’t make any of the following mistakes.

Career bungling #1 Believing the best and the smartest are always rewarded accordingly.

Wrong. Those who are competent and look and sound professional are those who smoothly maneuver themselves up the corporate ladder. Competence is not enough although you most certainly need it. It will only serve you to get your foot in the door but will not move you forward. If you accept this and take responsibility to play your role professionally you have already increased your chances of reaching your goals sooner. Luckily, how you look is one of the easiest things you can address on your way to become a more effective agent of influence.

Career bungling #2 Dressing inappropriately.

Informal fashion has made it more difficult to find the right job outfit but you can follow this rule: dress for the job you want and not for the one you have. Short skirts, seductive styles, and high heels that are too high will not get you were you want to go – at least not in the business world. Like it or not, people notice both the quality and the style of your dress and make mental notes about you. There are exceptions to this rule and you can find successful women who break them, but their attire is overlooked because they’re probably geniuses in their fields. Remember, they are the exception, not the rule.

Career bungling #3 Grooming in public.

When was the last time you saw a man check his hair after lunch? Or file his nails in management meeting? Just the thought of it is ridiculous. Even if you are discreet, this behavior will get noticed and it will not enhance your credibility. Long hair is back in fashion but be prepared to lose the “Alice in Wonderland” look if you want to be taken more seriously.

Don’t make the mistake of judging the apparent simplicity of these errors, because small things really do make big differences when it comes to others’ perception of us.

Imaginary but new coaching advice from Shakespeare

Make yourself aware of your business role, accept it and learn the difference between the private you and the corporate you.

  • Dress like your clients or colleagues +1.
  • Do your grooming in the bathroom, not in the board room.
  • Look at successful women and notice what they’re wearing. Also pay attention to women in positions you aspire to because that’s how you should dress.

 

The most effective authority is the credible authority – a woman with both expertise and trustworthiness. Meryl Streep wins Oscars because she both looks and sounds the part. I know you aren’t an actor but it’s not about the acting profession. What I’m talking about is understanding the psychological principle behind being perceived as an authority – being competent and looking the part. Don’t forget, hearing “yes” to a job promotion for many of us is like winning an Oscar in our everyday lives.If you’re viewing this by email and want to leave a comment click here.

Cathrine Moestue
Empowering Women to hear YES