Sometimes I’m the One I Need to Influence

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I usually write about ways you can ethically influence people. That is, how you can pre-suade and persuade others. However, sometimes I’m the one I need to influence. I think you’ll find that sometimes you’re the person you need to influence too. 

Recently, I had coffee with a friend who was also a former coworker. I was wearing a white t-shirt that said “Be Kind” in big, bold letters on the front. The writing is so large it’s hard to miss the words. I usually get lots of compliments when I wear the t-shirt.

My daughter Abigail gave me the t-shirt for Father’s Day. That’s kind of our thing, she always gets me t-shirts for Father’s Day. While I like all the t-shirts, I like this one more than the rest. That’s because it’s a reminder for others, as well as myself, that we need to Be Kind to each other.

Whether or not the message influences other people’s behavior, I know it influences mine. I jokingly said to someone who complimented the t-shirt, “It’s hard to be a jerk when you’re wearing a t-shirt that says Be Kind and I need the reminder as much as the next person.”

What I’m actually doing is pre-suading myself whenever I wear it. No one is asking me to Be Kind, but when I put the t-shirt on, it changes my mentality and my behavior. Not only do I feel better about myself, but I also think others benefit when I’m reminded to Be Kind.

As I spoke to my friend, I shared insights about pre-suasion, setting the stage to make it easier for people to say yes to you. Another factor in pre-suasion that I’ve used over the years has to do with music.

Music has an ability to tap into our emotions in ways other mediums don’t. I’m sure you can recall songs that elicit certain memories and strong emotions every time you hear them. The songs might be from your childhood, high school years, college days, or perhaps when you first started dating someone. Whatever the memories, it’s likely there are strong emotions associated.

Many years ago, once I realized this, I decided to use this understanding to my benefit. On my iTunes playlists I have one titled Jane for my wife and another called Abigail for my daughter. Each playlist is filled with songs that make me think good thoughts about them.

If I’m listening to songs that make me feel good about Jane, it changes my countenance, thoughts, and behavior. The result: when we are together I respond better to her and in turn, she usually responds better to me. That’s what I call a virtuous cycle.

There are many other ways to engage pre-suasion that will help you have a positive impact on strangers, friends, and family. When my TED Talk is online, you’ll want to check it out to learn more.

Bottom line, you can’t always influence other people’s thoughts and behavior, but you can influence yourself. I encourage you to give thought to this, and consider ways you might positively impact yourself, so you can positively impact others.  

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

Everyone Needs People Skills

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Have you ever encountered situations that were funny, but only because they were actually sad? This happens far too often when it comes to customer service. That’s unfortunate because the person you’re talking with is representative of the whole company. 

Most people have a tendency, right or wrong, to project the individual they’re interacting with onto the entire company. You could be dealing with a great organization but one sour interaction can spoil it. You stop interacting with a company that might actually be helpful for you and they’ve lost a customer. In other words, it’s a lose-lose outcome.

All too often customer service reps are the least trained, least paid, and least appreciated people in the organization. That’s a shame because they are the face of the organization for most customers.

A funny but sad story

Here’s my funny, but sad story, that prompted this week’s post. I recently suffered through a bout of diverticulitis and needed some antibiotics. My doctor called the prescription into the pharmacy, one I’ve gone to for decades because of its proximity to our home. Typically a prescription is ready in 60-90 minutes so after several hours of waiting to hear from the pharmacy, I decided to call.

  • Me – “Hi, I’m calling about a prescription.”
  • Pharmacist – “Last name”
  • Me – “Ahearn” (and I spelled it)
  • Pharmacist – “First name”
  • Me – “Brian” (didn’t need to spell this one because it’s easy)
  • Pharmacist – “Birthday”
  • Me – “April 1, 1964” (no joke, I’m an April Fool)
  • Pharmacist – “$21”
  • Me – “Is the prescription ready now?”
  • Pharmacist – “Yes”
  • Me – “Thanks”
  • Pharmacist – (silence)

After the call I got a text telling me the prescription was ready.

Simple Advice

Here’s some simple advice; filler words like “hi,” “how are you?,” “thanks for choosing us,” or a simple “thank you,” at the end of a conversation go a long way towards making customers feel good about the choice they’ve made. 

When I shared the story someone asked me if I was talking to a robot. That made me laugh because I knew it wasn’t. I know that because the person I picked up the meds from had about the same people skills as the person on the phone. A robot programmed the right way would have been a better interaction! Heck, I bet interacting with a drug dealer on a street corner would have been more engaging than the pharmacist was!

Necessary Skills

Granted, a pharmacist is hired because he or she knows about medication. Accountants get jobs because they’re good with numbers. Doctors #1 priority is understanding the human body. I get it, people skills may not be the highest priority for many occupations. However, they are becoming more important as technology changes industries and jobs. Just look at AI Chat and you’ll realize many people are feeling as though they might be replaced by that new technology.

Here’s an example perhaps you can relate to. You can buy your car insurance online with little to no human interaction. If it’s fast, accurate, and reasonably priced, why would someone choose to go the old route? 

Many people still prefer the traditional insurance agent because they want to know that a real human being knows them and will be there to help if a need arises. This means insurance agents need people skills in order to set themselves apart. 

Conclusion

It’s an old axiom but it’s just as relevant today as it was 50 or 100 years ago, “People want to do business with people they know, trust, and like.” Believe me, they’re not going to like you much if you interact with them like the pharmacist interacted with me. 

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

Respect and Forgiveness Are Worth Preserving

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Just over a week ago LSU beat Iowa to win the Women’s NCAA basketball Championship. The storyline, rather than being about the first basketball championship for LSU (women or men), was all about a hand gesture LSU’s Angel Reese made to Iowa star Caitlin Clark.

For the record, Caitlin used the same gesture many times towards opponents and said afterwards that she had no problem with Angel’s actions because they are competitors. Her response makes sense because Caitlin most likely would have made the same gesture if Iowa had taken home the trophy.

Aren’t we as a society somewhat hypocritical? On the one hand we hold up people who show great sportsmanship, often saying, “That’s what competition is all about” and “There’s true sportsmanship.” However, on the other hand we’re completely fine with players disrespecting each other. We justify their actions because, “He’s a fiery competitor” and “She’s so passionate.”

Why do we so readily accept actions on the court and field that we’d never tolerate in the office? 

Respect

This post isn’t about Angel or Caitlin, male vs. female athletes, race, or anything else except respect. Respect doesn’t know individuals, gender, ethnicity, or any other human category.

When I grew up playing sports, I would have been yanked immediately for any gestures that showed disrespect towards coaches, players, or fans. We were taught respect, told to conduct ourselves with class, and as one coach used to say about celebrations, “Act like you’ve been there before.” 

John Wooden, the greatest college basketball coach of all time, and perhaps the greatest coach of any sport, never would have allowed his players to do such things. Wooden used basketball as a tool to teach young men about life.

I can hear some people saying, “Yeah, but those were different times.” The world may be changing but some things are worth preserving and respect is high on the list.

I wrote about respect years ago in a post called The Best Way to Ensure We All Get Along. The gist of the article was this; you get what you give. Give respect and most likely you’ll get respect. Diss people and you’re likely to get dissed. Some people call it the universe, others prefer karma, but what it’s known as in psychology is reciprocity. You will usually get what you give.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to be respected. So consider this; we say we want respect but we’re okay watching athletes, politicians, and others disrespecting each other continually. Make no mistake, our kids are watching and that’s where they’re learning it.

Forgiveness

First Lady Jill Biden made the mistake of saying LSU and Iowa should both come to the White House because it was a great game. Every sports fan knows that’s reserved for the champions because it’s their time to celebrate. If I were LSU I’d have been bothered sharing the spotlight too. It is their moment to shine. However, when the First Lady apologized (I’m not sure how big a sports fan she is) it was rejected by Angel and there was talk about the team passing up the opportunity to make a historic visit. Ultimately the university said the team would attend the celebration.

Do we really want to live in a world where sincere apologies are rejected? Remember, reciprocity means you’ll get what you give. I’m pretty sure if any LSU player makes a mistake (we’ve seen lots of mistakes from athletes at every level) that person would want forgiveness.

It used to be that to err was human, but to forgive was divine. Now it seems we relish the opposite. What if Chris Rock, rather than making a lot of money humiliating Will Smith, had simply said, “I forgive you”? 

Nelson Mandela was praised for extending the hand of forgiveness to those who oppressed him and his people for decades in South Africa. Had Mandela gone a different route it could have led to a blood bath. If we cannot forgive the small things, do we really think we’ll be able to do so when much more is on the line?

Conclusion

Respect and forgiveness will never go out of style because everyone wants both. Knowing that you’re more likely to get what you give first, why not start giving respect and forgiveness generously? Do so and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much better you feel and how your relationships grow.

TED Talk

Interested in attending the TEDx New Albany event on Tuesday, April 18th? It will take place from 4:30-8:30 pm at the Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts in New Albany, Ohio. For more details and to get your tickets, visit the TEDx New Albany site.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

Quarterly Newsletter

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I hope you’re more than a quarter of the way to meeting your professional and personal goals for 2023 and that your progress only accelerates in Q2. The first quarter was busy for me, a mix of personal and business travel with stops in Phoenix, Austin, Palm Springs, Pittsburgh, and Washington DC. It was great working with new clients and connecting with family and friends along the way. Here’s to bigger and better things in April, May, and June.

Sincerely,

Brian

What’s Influence PEOPLE all about?

  •       Why – Help you achieve more professional success and enjoy more personal happiness.
  •       How – Teach you the science of ethical influence.
  •       What – Speak, write, train, coach, and consult.
  •       Who – Clients include leaders, salespeople, business coaches, insurance professionals, and more.

Here’s What’s New…

Speaking

Some upcoming speaking events include my TED Talk on April 18th in New Albany, Ohio. If you’re a Central Ohio resident I hope you can make it. May takes me to Denver, Colorado, where I’ll give a keynote address for Continental Insurance Agency Alliance (CIAA) members. June has me on the road to Sheridan, Wyoming where I’ll present to members of the Association of Wyoming Insurance Agents. I’m looking forward to the beauty of Wyoming and seeing how magnificent the stars look at night.

Writing

Work continues on my next book, His Story, My Story, Our Story: The Journey of a Marine and His Son. I’m excited to let you know a publisher, Morgan James, has expressed interest in the book. One suggestion they’ve shared was to make the book more of a story format. The initial feedback was that it was too chronological for a memoire so I’m working with a developmental editor to rearrange parts, add some writing, and remove some parts along with other suggested changes.

It’s a slow process but will be worth it because I believe with their guidance it will have much more impact for readers. If all goes well, you might even see it in stores like Barnes & Noble and Books-A-Million! Fingers crossed because with wider distribution that increases the potential impact of our story.

For a sneak preview CLICK HERE

Podcasts

More podcasts went online in the first quarter. In addition to being a great way to share content with people, I’ve met so many wonderful individuals who host shows. I had the pleasure of meeting David Carothers, co-host of The Power Producers Podcast, for coffee while I was on vacation in Florida last month. Are podcasts your thing? If so, check out links to the 160+ shows I’ve been on. Here are a few recent episodes you might enjoy:

  • John Kennedy (no relation to the President but his wife’s name is Jackie!) asked me to join him on the show he co-hosts, Above Board with CandorPath Podcast, to talk about ethical influence vs. manipulation and how ethical influence can be used by folks in the financial services industry. We covered the principles of influence, leveraging referrals, and what it means to be patiently persistent when pursuing new business. Click here to check out the show on Apple Podcast.
  • JM Ryerson is a leader and motivator. He invited me on Let’s Go Win to talk leadership and sales. Specifically we discussed ways to build relationships, how to replace uncertainty with confidence, and what you can do to motivate people to take action. Click here to listen to our conversation on Apple Podcast.

Best of…

Some of my recommendations to read, listen to, and watch. No two people are alike but I feel confident that you’ll enjoy these resources as much as I did.

Read

Persuasive Advertising: Evidence-Based Principles by J. Scott Armstrong. From Amazon, “This book is a comprehensive and definitive guide to advertising that incorporates a vast amount of research and expert opinion. It draws upon the evidence to establish principles that can be applied to achieve successful and effective advertising and evaluates all of the relevant attributes and aspects of this.” I couldn’t have written it better so why not quote Amazon? If you’re in advertising or copywriting, this is a must read! It cited many psychological studies I’ve seen over the years. Rock solid!

The Problem of Pain is one of C.S. Lewis’s many works. I love how Lewis thinks and writes. My introduction to his writing came when I read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to my daughter Abigail when she was a child. Since that time I’ve read many other books by Lewis. In The Problem of Pain Lewis tackles one of the most often asked questions, “If God is good and all-powerful, why does he allow his creatures to suffer pain?” It’s not an easy read but well worth it if you’ve ever wondered about that question.

Listen

Discrimination and Disparities is another masterpiece from Thomas Sowell. If his name rings a bell it may be because he’s authored more than 30 books, he wrote a syndicated column that appeared in many newspapers for decades, or because I highlighted his book, Basic Economics, in a prior newsletter. With all of the talk about race, diversity & inclusion, and systemic racism, Discrimination and Disparities is something you might want to listen to in order to broaden your perspective. Sowell is a black economist who takes a different perspective than many leading voices today (Ibram X. Kendi, Robin DeAngelo, etc.). He relies on economic data to support his positions and clearly articulates the difference between economic decisions and political decisions. The book was only five hours on Audible and it was so interesting I listened to it twice. I hope you get a chance to check it out.

Watch

Bill Russell: Legend aired on Netflix in February. It’s easy for us to look back on great athletes and only focus on their achievements in their sport. While Russell is well known for his NBA Hall of Fame career and winning 11 NBA titles with the Boston Celtics, his story is much more than his on the court accolades. Like Jackie Robinson, Jim Brown, and Muhammed Ali, Russell used his notoriety to help bring about social change. Just as was the case with the Muhammed Ali series (a Ken Burns production) the trials and tribulations Russell addressed were eerily similar to many things black athletes are still trying to address. I encourage you to watch it and think about what’s taking place in America today.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

Are You Living Your Dream But Don’t Realize It?

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When I was in high school I started lifting weights for football. My body took to it like a duck to water. Once I learned how to lift properly I put on more than 20 lbs in three months. Four years later I’d gone from a scrawny 150 lbs to 240 lbs!

During college I was president of the Miami University Weightlifting Club for three years. That’s when I started to compete in powerlifting. After college I tried my hand at bodybuilding for several years.

To say I loved the gym would have been an understatement. My goal was to own a gym someday so while in school I took physiology, kinesiology, and general business classes to get ready to fulfill my dream. 

Something Happened Along the Way

After graduation I started my insurance career and met my wife Jane the first day of work. Less than two years later we were married and two years after that we purchased our first home.

I’m not sure when I let go of my dream of owning a gym. There wasn’t a day when I said, “This won’t happen,” or “I no longer want this to be my destiny.” I often jokingly say, “I got a job, met a girl, bought a house, and before I knew it, the dream was gone.”

Living the Dream

I never let go of my enjoyment of working out. In fact, not long after moving into our home I got the green light from Jane to buy weight equipment for the basement. Over the years I added to it to the point where there’s almost nothing I could do at the gym that I can’t do at home. I have a squat rack, bench, dumbbells, lat machine, treadmill, and more. It’s a sweet setup!

As I reflected on this a few years ago I was struck with the realization – I fulfilled my dream! I am a gym owner but it’s not how I envisioned it when I was younger. There are no members but everyone puts the weights back where they belong.

I count myself blessed because I’ve been able to descend into my basement for decades and do something I’ve enjoyed since I was a teenager. It’s a big component of who I am.

My awakening was like so many romantic comedies. You know the story, the one  where two friends are looking for love and it turns out they were staring at each other the whole time. They were missing what was so obvious to the audience.

Your Dreams

Have you ever experienced something similar? I think many people fulfill their dreams but don’t recognize it because it’s not how they envisioned it.

I encourage you to take time to reflect on your life. You may be pleasantly surprised to realize you’re living your dream too.

TED Talk

Interested in attending the TEDx New Albany event on Tuesday, April 18th? It will take place from 4:30-8:30 pm at the Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts in New Albany, Ohio. For more details and to get your tickets, visit the TEDx New Albany site.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!



Mark Your Calendar: TED Talk on April 18

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I have some exciting news to share with you! On April 18th, I will participate in the TEDx New Albany event. During my talk, I’ll introduce the audience, and hopefully the world, to the psychology of “pre-suasion.” Specifically, I’ll share how it can set the stage for success, happiness, and perhaps fulfilling your dreams.

I was selected to do this talk in March 2020, but the event was canceled a week out when the world began to shut down due to Covid.

As you might guess, I was disappointed after hundreds of hours of practice. But I quickly realized there were many people facing bigger issues with the uncertainty around the virus.

Trying to maintain a positive focus, I expanded the talk I was slated to give and have used in for keynote presentations and breakout sessions at various conferences since that time. In other words, I turned lemons into lemonade.

Doing a TED Talk is something I’ve aspired to for more than a decade so I’m incredibly excited that another opportunity has come around.

If you’re in the Columbus area I hope you can make it. The event is Tuesday, April 18th, 4:30-8:30 pm, at the Jeanne B. McCoy Community Center for the Arts in New Albany, Ohio. For more details and to get your tickets, visit the TEDx New Albany site.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

The Ethics of ChatGPT

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By now you’ve probably heard of ChatGPT, the writing tool that uses artificial intelligence. A friend who’s been a techie his entire career alerted me to it. He asked ChatGPT to write a prospecting letter for his business and was amazed at how good it was. He humbly acknowledged he could not have done better and advised me to check it out the tool.

Because I’ve known him for decades and trust him, I decided to give it a look. After playing around a bit, I asked the ChatGPT to write a bio about me. Here’s what it came up with:

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, a leading organization in the field of influence and persuasion. With over 20 years of experience in the industry, Brian is a highly sought-after speaker and consultant, recognized for his expertise in the science of influence and its practical application.

Brian is a certified trainer in Influence Engineering, a proprietary method developed by Robert Cialdini, the world-renowned expert in the psychology of influence. He has worked with a wide range of clients, from Fortune 500 companies to government agencies and non-profit organizations, to help them understand and apply the principles of influence to their work.

Brian’s work focuses on helping individuals and organizations understand the psychological triggers that drive human behavior and decision-making. He uses this knowledge to help organizations influence the actions of their target audience, whether it’s through marketing, sales, or customer service. He has developed a reputation as one of the leading experts in the field of influence and is widely regarded as one of the best trainers and consultants in the industry.

Brian’s approach to influence is rooted in the principles of ethical influence, which means that he only teaches techniques that are based on mutual benefit and respect. He believes that influence should never be used to manipulate or deceive others, and he always puts the needs and well-being of the person being influenced first.

In addition to his work at Influence PEOPLE, Brian is a frequent speaker and author, sharing his expertise and insights on influence with audiences around the world. He has written several books on the topic, including “Influence PEOPLE: The Art and Science of Persuasion,” which is widely regarded as one of the most comprehensive and practical guides to influence available today.

Overall, Brian Ahearn is a thought leader in the field of influence and persuasion, with a passion for helping organizations and individuals understand the psychology of influence and apply it to achieve their goals. He is a sought-after consultant and speaker, and his work has made a significant impact in the industry.

After I read that I thought, “Dang, I want to meet that guy and hire him!” Seriously, a few factual errors aside (my book subtitle is not The Art and Science of Persuasion and I’ve never used the term Influence Engineering), the bio was excellent and spot on.

I see the application for people who need a good bio, prospecting letter, or any number of other uses. However, when it comes to certain writing, such as blogs, articles, and books, I wonder about the ethical part.

What I mean is this; for those of you who read my books, articles, and blog posts, you rightly assume it’s Brian Ahearn’s unique expression of my thoughts, ideas, and experiences. Put another way, would you be disappointed if you found out what you thought was my writing was simply AI generated? I bet you’d be just as disappointed as if you bought what you believed was an original piece of art from an artist but then learned it was AI generated.

Because I teach ethical influence, I’ve been pondering this for a while. After all, my work is designed to influence you and help you influence.

I decided to ask ChatGPT about the ethics of what it generates. Here’s the question I posed, “Is it ethical for ChatGPT to write articles and have humans take credit?” This is what I received in response:

As an AI language model, I do not have personal agency or ownership over any content that I generate. All content produced by me is created through a combination of algorithms and training data, which is owned by OpenAI.

Therefore, it is not ethical for me to take credit for any articles that I generate, as I am not a person and do not have the capacity to create original work in the same way that a human can. However, it is possible for humans to use my generated content as a starting point or inspiration for their own writing, and in this case, they should properly credit the sources of their ideas.

In summary, while it is not ethical for me to take credit for articles that I generate, it is possible for humans to use my content as a tool to aid in their own writing, as long as they properly attribute any sources of inspiration.

Wow, that was a great response. I wonder if we’ll begin to see disclaimers going forward.

  • This was written by ChatGPT.
  • This was written in conjunction with ChatGPT.
  • This was written without input from ChatGPT.
  • If you want to see if something is original or AI generated, check out Originality.ai.

Only time will tell. Let me put to bed a question you might be thinking right now; aside from the ChatGPT examples, this article is the expression of a real human being. He goes by the name Brian Ahearn.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

What is Persuasion?

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Persuasion is more than changing hearts and minds, it’s about changing behavior. Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher, said as much when he told the world persuasion was, “the art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” Whether you want someone to buy from you, your boss to approve your project, get a promotion, or just get your kids to do their homework, persuasion is the skill that can help you achieve those goals and more.

We Need People…

Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, said, “Nearly everything I’ve accomplished in life has been with other people.” It didn’t matter how good his mission, vision, or strategy was if he couldn’t persuade people to execute. People are vital to your professional success and personal happiness so understanding how to ethically influence people is an essential skill.

But There’s a Catch…

Okay, you need people but things aren’t always so easy. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, told readers, “Dealing with people is the biggest challenge you will face, especially if you’re in business.” You need people but they’re your biggest challenge. This is why understanding how to ethically persuade is critical to your professional success and personal happiness!

Three Hours a Day!

In To Sell is Human, Daniel Pink cites a survey of more than 7,000 business people when he wrote, “People are now spending about 40% of their time at work engaged in non-sales selling – persuading, influencing, and convincing others in ways that don’t involve anyone making a purchase.” This means the average employee spends more than three hours a day trying to influence people. If you’re going to spend that much time on a skill that’s critical for your professional success and personal happiness, doesn’t it make sense to learn how to do it well?

Persuasion is a Skill

Persuasion is a skill that can be learned, practiced, and perfected. My focus is to teach you how to use the principles of ethical influence to change people’s behavior.

Learn How to Influence People

I’ll teach you how to apply the science of influence to ensure your professional success and personal happiness. Whether you’re looking for a speaker at your next event, one-on-one coaching, consulting, or training, I can help you and your organization. Reach out to me  today and we’ll explore how we can begin working together.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!

Skills Employers Need Most

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LinkedIn recently came out with their annual list of the most in demand skills according to employers. In order, the top five soft skills were:

  • Management
  • Communication
  • Customer Service
  • Leadership 
  • Sales

As someone who helps leaders and salespeople, those two skills jumped out at me. What came to mind for both was this; you cannot succeed at either unless you know how to influence people. 

Leadership

Leadership is a critical skill for creating greater impact. It’s a multiplier, the lever to accomplish great things because a group of people working together will almost always accomplish more than any individual can working alone. 

While there are many aspects to being a great leader, having a vision and a strategy to fulfill the vision top the list. But neither is enough if you can’t motivate people to buy into the vision and execute the strategy. This is where influence comes in.

Being a great leader doesn’t mean you know everything or more than your team members. In fact, those who follow you should know more than you and be better at their jobs. 

My long-time boss, John Petrucci, used to talk about the inverted pyramid. As a leader he was at the bottom, supporting us so we could do our jobs to the best of our abilities. 

Your role as a leader is to help your team accomplish more than they thought possible. That’s why we hear good leaders say, “TEAM means Together Everyone Accomplishes More.”

I’m reminded of something Tom Landry, the late football coach of the Dallas Cowboys, said about his leadership, “Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.”  

Leadership is all about influence!

Sales 

When I talk about sales, I often refer to sales guru Brian Tracy’s definition. No need to reinvent the wheel because Tracy says it perfectly, “Selling is the process of persuading a person that your product or service is of more value to him or her than the price you’re asking.”

Selling starts with a process. It’s not about winging it, the “gift of gab,” or “selling ice to eskimos.” However, it won’t do you any good to have a great process if you don’t know how to persuade. 

Selling is about helping people. When your product or service helps them run a better business, protect their family (insurance), or achieve their goals, you should feel good about what you’re offering. Even that isn’t enough. 

Persuasion is the skill that helps you convey value, helping prospective customers realize how they’ll be better off by doing business with you and your organization. 

Bottom line: persuasion helps you get to yes with prospects at every step in the sales process. 

Influence and Persuasion

In LinkedIn’s 2019 and 2020 surveys of its 700+ million users, influence was the #2 skill employers said was most important for their employees. It’s the bedrock for sales, leadership, and more because it’s critical for professional success.

And know this; the skill of influence goes beyond work. For example, if you’re a parent you’re trying to influence your children every day in a multitude of ways.

Even if you aren’t a parent, you use the skill of influence every day. I often tell audiences, influence is a 24x7x365 skill each of us uses from womb to tomb.

Tune in next week to get a detailed definition of exactly what influence/persuasion is and the challenges you’ll face when you try to influence people.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!



He Gets You, He Gets Me, He Gets Us

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I’m getting old. My body reminds me of that every day when I run, stretch, and workout. I often feel like a car that needs to warm up in the garage for several minutes before taking it on a drive.

I’m also reminded of my age as I scroll through LinkedIn. I write that because there are many posts that would have been considered inappropriate in most corporate environments as recently as a decade ago. Posts include positions on social justice, politics, sexual orientation, dress, and very personal struggles, to name just a few. I’m not saying they’re bad or wrong. I’m simply acknowledging the world is changing faster than I am and that’s another sign of age. 

Because the range of acceptable is so much broader than ever now, I decided to write about something that would have been out of bounds a few years ago. Remember the days when you were told not to discuss sex, politics, or religion? Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not going to talk about sex. Instead, I’m going to write about religion.

My Background

I didn’t grow up going to church and, while I have no formal religious training, at one time I was deeply involved in church. I led several Bible studies for many years and have been through the Bible cover to cover perhaps a dozen or so times. For years I wrote down my thoughts about what I was reading because I really wanted to understand the message of the Bible. That writing turned into a thousand-page document, a commentary of sorts. 

I share this to let you know, I’m not coming at this from a purely emotional (“I think” or “I feel”) response but one that’s deeply thought out and has a basis in biblical understanding.

After the Super Bowl I read several sources condemning the “He Gets Us” commercials that aired during the big game. As a Christian I thought the messages were spot on. To be honest, they poked me in some uncomfortable places because I have lots of room for growth when it comes to following Jesus and living in accordance with His teachings.

The Messenger 

One major criticism was the source of the messages. As someone who teaches influence, I get it. When it comes to influence, the messenger can be as important as the message. When a trusted expert tells us something, we’re more likely to believe the message than someone who may not be perceived to be an authority or someone we don’t trust. 

The He Gets Us commercials were put out by a conservative group that apparently holds to more traditional Biblical values, ideas that have been mainstream in the church for thousands of years. That upset many people who don’t hold to those values.

I don’t think the source invalidates the message in the commercials because truth is truth. Caiaphas, the high priest who condemned Jesus, uttered these words, “You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.” It’s said that he prophesied, meaning he spoke the truth, and we don’t disregard that truth because of the source.

Although Christ had harsh words for the Pharisees, He told His followers to do what the Pharisees said but not what they did. That’s because they were hypocrites and didn’t live up to their own teachings. Even if you don’t like the source of the commercials, you should still wrestle with the truth of the message. 

On the flip side realize this; during Christ’s ministry many objected to Him and His message in large part because of those who followed Him. Just because prostitutes, tax collectors, and other non-religious people followed Jesus that didn’t invalidate His message.

Money Spent

Many people objected to the amount of money spent on the commercials. They say it could have been spent on the poor and that Jesus never would have approved spending the money on Him. Don’t be too quick to assume that.

When Mary anointed Jesus’s feet with very costly perfume do you know who objected? It was Judas, Christ’s betrayer. He said the perfume could fetch a high price and used for the poor. 

If you don’t want to align yourself with the He Gets Us message because you object to the conservative group, do you want to align yourself with Judas when it comes to how they should spend their money?

What About You?

The controversy over the money is ironic because so many people who object to the money spent probably give little, if anything, to help the underprivileged, homeless, and others. We all fall short here because we can all do more.

The rich young ruler tithed (gave 10%) of his wealth and Jesus told him to sell everything, give the money to the poor, then follow Him. As far as we know, he didn’t take Jesus up on His offer.

Maybe you don’t have wealth like that young man so you feel Jesus isn’t speaking to you. That doesn’t let you off the hook. Remember the poor widow who put two coins into the treasury? She was praised because she gave out of her poverty, all that she had to live on, whereas others gave from their excess.

This isn’t a matter of resources. It’s a matter of the heart and that’s what Christ is concerned with.

Sharing Good News

Jesus told the disciples to preach the good news to all the world. Thousands of years ago it meant traveling to the far corners of the world to share the reality of who Jesus is and what He did. 

Today we don’t have to travel to spread the word. There aren’t many platforms better for sharing the message than the most watched sporting event in America and one of the most watched around the world.

My Takeaway

I’ve no doubt many reading this will still disagree with my views regarding the source of the commercials and the money that was spent. That’s okay.

Here’s my takeaway from all the controversy. Jesus doesn’t care who follows Him, He only cares that you and I follow Him, and that we’re growing in spiritual maturity as a result. 

As for the money, He doesn’t need it. He turned water into wine and fed thousands from a few fish and loaves. His desire is that we participate with Him in growing the kingdom of God. Our time, talents, and whatever wealth we have give us that opportunity.

This is the bottom line. He doesn’t want your money, He wants you. You don’t need to shy away because He Gets You, He Gets Me, He Gets Us. That was the point of the messages.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to apply influence concepts at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 500,000 people around the world!