PEOPLE – What Does it Mean to Persuade?

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In recent years there’s been a proliferation of books and blogs on the subject of influence and persuasion. Some are quite good but many are nothing more than a rehash of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s material.

Another problem is this; what some people call influence or persuasion is nothing more than vague advice without any basis in scientifically proven data.
If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know what I share is often called “the science of influence” because findings are based on the research of social psychologists and behavior
economists.  In this series we’re working through the word PEOPLE and we now come to the second “P” which stands for Persuade. This begs the question, what does it actually mean to persuade someone?
A formal dictionary definition might read as follows, “to induce to believe by appealing to reason or understanding;
convince.” That’s okay, but I prefer Aristotle’s definition. Aristotle told the
world more than 2,000 years ago persuasion was “The art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.”
I like Aristotle’s definition because it’s nice and simple; get someone to do something they’re not currently doing. If you’re a manager and your employees make it to work on time everyday then you don’t
need to change their behavior and no persuasion is necessary. The same could be said of your child; if your child is doing his/her homework then you don’t need to persuade him or her to study.
But here’s the problem; quite often people aren’t doing what we’d like them to do and when that’s the case, we need to communicate with them in a way that hopefully leads to a change in behavior. How we communicate; i.e., persuade, can make all the difference in hearing “Yes” or “No.”
Earlier in this series I shared why influence is Powerful; because it’s rooted in science. What I share with readers isn’t just someone’s good advice because sometimes people’s “good’ advice has no bearing for you. And sometimes people succeed in spite of themselves! Imagine a
relatively healthy 85-year-old person telling you they’ve smoked two packs of
cigarettes a day for more than 60 years and tries to convince you it wouldn’t harm you. Would you want to emulate their behavior just because they’ve lived a good long life? Of course you wouldn’t. Like most people you’d probably prefer to know what decades of studies have to say about healthy eating habits and lifestyle choices.
And so it is with learning the science of
influence because it’s rooted in six decades of research by social psychologists and behavioral economists. We’re much better off following the advice of people who study this for a living vs. people who might have made it big more by chance than skill.
Having shared that, I’d change Aristotle’s definition ever so slightly by replacing “art” with “science.” Doing so makes our definition of persuasion read as follows, “The science of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” If
you’re in business you might say there are “best practices” in how to communicate if you want to get solid bottom line results.
So taking our lesson from science, here are a few examples of how you might want to alter your communication:
  • Stop making statements and start asking questions because it engages the principle of consistency. Once people give you their word they’ll do something, the odds of them following through go up significantly vs. telling them what to do.
  • Make sure people know your credentials up front. The principle of authority clearly shows that people listen to those with knowledge and expertise, but they have to know what your expertise is before you start talking.
  • Tell people what they stand to lose by not going along with your request because the principle of scarcity tells us people are more motivated by what they may lose as opposed to what they might gain.
  • Take extra time to personalize whatever you do for someone else. Reciprocity is the principle that tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who first give to them so going an extra step is usually met with a better response.

These are just a few ways to incorporate scientifically proven principles to persuade into your everyday communication. Next week we’ll examine the “L” in PEOPLE to see how persuasion can have a Lasting impact on people.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

PEOPLE – There are Opportunities

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Here’s one of my favorite questions to ask audiences, “How many people have purchased a new car in the past year?”

Usually, several hands go up, so I’ll ask someone with their hand up, “After you bought your new car did you happen to notice it on the road more?” There’s usually a smile, sometimes a chuckle and they agree. My next question is, “Were there really more of your car on the road?” That answer is always “No,” so I follow up with, “Then what changed?” I’ll usually hear thinks like “my focus” or “my perspective.”

I’m sure many of you can relate to what I just shared whether it’s with a car, clothes, cell phone, computer, etc. The bottom line is once people buy something new their eyes are opened to notice that new thing that’s really been there all along.

This phenomenon has application when it comes to learning the science of influence. Working through PEOPLE we now come to “O” which stands for Opportunities. 

As you learn the principles of influence your eyes will be opened to opportunities that have been there all along; ones you either didn’t see or didn’t know how to ethically leverage before.

Allow me to share a story to illustrate. At my company, State Auto Insurance, I help to recruit new agencies. We’re always on the lookout for high caliber insurance agencies to represent us and sell our products. As you might guess, other insurance companies want to sign up these same high caliber agencies so we’re competing for the cream of the crop.

One way we try to set ourselves apart is by actively recruiting agencies and marketing to them. For more than a dozen years we’ve sent quarterly marketing materials, letters and emails to prospective agencies but were missing a golden opportunity to persuade them to represent us.

Each year we had a set goal for our field people in terms of new agency appointments. After learning about scarcity – people tend to want things more when they are rare or diminishing – we looked for a way to naturally leverage our limited opportunity. After considering the principles of influence, here’s an example of what we used in a third quarter marketing letter several years ago:

Speaking of partnering with State Auto; to date we’ve appointed 33 agencies toward our goal of 42. That means we’re looking for just a few more new appointments before year-end. If you think the time is right for the ABC Agency, Inc. to join forces with State Auto, I’d be happy to speak with you.  Of course, you can always contact our Business Insurance Underwriter John Doe who has been in touch with your agency with questions as well.

Any time you try something new in business a couple of questions will need to be answered: 1. did the new approach work, and 2. how much did it cost?

The day we sent the email my boss stopped by and said something like, “I can’t believe it; I’ve had eight agents contact me within the first hour of sending the email! I’ve never had any contact me the same day we sent out these emails.” The only difference was that last paragraph pointing out the limited opportunity.

Before the end of the third quarter, we met our agency appointment goal and leveraged that fact into new opportunities for the next year. We did so by encouraging other agency prospects to start their paperwork in the fourth quarter to ensure and early appointment with us the following year.

And here’s the best part; it cost us nothing! As I noted earlier, we had already committed to a quarterly email marketing campaign, so we were going to send a communication no matter what. However, with our new understanding of the psychology of persuasion we were able to slightly change what were already doing to get a much better business result.

I could share dozens of stories about how my company has used the science of influence to generate better results and I can share just as many personal stories. In fact, there were so many on both accounts that’s part of the reason I started this blog. My goal is to help readers learn the science of influence, see the opportunities that are naturally available and the ethically leverage them for better results, whether professionally or personally.

So far, we’ve looked at the Powerful Everyday Opportunities of PEOPLE. Next time we’ll look at the second P, which is Persuade. It’s a term people use quite often but don’t actually know what it

Brian, CMCT
Influence PEOPLE  
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

PEOPLE – Use Persuasion Everyday

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Wouldn’t you agree that much of your professional success and personal happiness depend on getting others to say “Yes” to you?

When I speak to groups I like to start with that question. I’ve never had someone say “no” or challenge me on it because people know it’s true. I’m not telling you getting someone to say “Yes”
is always the most important skill nor am I implying you can get away without other essentials. For example, when applying for a job:
  •          You still need expertise and trustworthiness in most cases to even get a look.
  •         You’ll need some amount of likability to get hired.
  •          Depending on the job, there may be pre-requisites like a college
    degree.
The things I listed are requirements
to even be considered. But when you have all the necessities – the college degree, smarts in your field, likability – and you get your opportunity, will you be able to persuade the person or people you talk with that you’re the right candidate for the position? At that point persuasion becomes your most important skill!
On a personal level, understanding how people think and adjusting your communication accordingly is very handy to get your spouse, significant other or kids to do what you want.
The psychology of persuasion also can help you get a better deal when buying a car or home. It can help you get a store to take back your item even if it’s outside the normal return period.
Last week I told readers the first P in PEOPLE stands for Powerful. This week we’ll explore the first E in PEOPLE, which stands for Everyday.
Persuasion is an everyday skill. I contend that for the vast majority of people who walk this planet there’s
hardly ever a day that goes by where they’re not interacting in some capacity with other human beings. In modern life even if we’re sick in bed we’re making phone calls, checking email, sending texts and working social media. We might not have face-to-face interaction with people but we still interact with them. I’m willing to bet that far more often than you realize, you’re making requests of people because you want them to do something for you.
So whether it’s work (professional) or outside of work (personal) much of your success and happiness depends on getting others to say “Yes” to you. In other words, it’s an everyday skill and I contend the better you get at this skill the more success and happiness you’ll enjoy.
When I teach workshops and do speaking engagements it’s readily apparent to me people like the idea that what they’re learning has potential impact on every relationship they have. It’s not
like teaching folks a new computer system that has no bearing outside of work and might very well change in five years. Human nature rarely changes and when it does it takes a long, long time for that to happen so what I teach audiences will very likely be a skill they can use the rest of their loves. Pretty cool!
It makes my day to hear a
salesperson contact me to tell me how they landed a tough account because of
something I taught them. And I get equally excited when someone else comes back and says their child is doing better because they applied their newfound persuasion skills and got a better response.
In the career section of my personal mission statement I wrote I want to “be remembered for making my workplace better for having been there in both a productive and personal sense.” Teaching the science of influence helps others and allows me to fulfill part of my
purpose in life!
I encourage you to keep reading, learning and applying the psychology of persuasion. It’s a skill you’ll use Everyday and one that you literally have a lifetime to master. Next week we’ll dive into the O in PEOPLE which stands for Opportunities.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

PEOPLE – It’s Powerful Stuff

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I’ve been blogging for more than three and a half years now. I chose the name Influence PEOPLE because we don’t persuade things. No matter how good you or I become at persuading, we can only persuade people, not things. In addition to that idea I specifically chose PEOPLE because it stands for Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. I’m going to revisit PEOPLE over the next several weeks for a couple of reasons. First, I have many more readers now than when I started and I want to make sure all of you understand the PEOPLE part of the name. My second reason is because my nephew, Max, reached out to me asking about ethics.

So the first P in PEOPLE stands for Powerful. I often use the term “the science of influence” because there’s more than 60 years of research from social psychologists and behavioral economist into what causes one person to say “Yes” to another. When I lead a Principles of Persuasion workshop I emphasize the reality that small changes can make big differences because understanding the psychology of persuasion can make a big
difference. Here are some examples.
If you knew there was a factor that was twice as important in the sales process than selling the traditional
benefits of a product, would you want to know what it is so you could tap into it? Well here’s an example – a study was done on Tupperware sales and it was found that the social bond (i.e., friendship) was twice as important in the sale of Tupperware as was the preference for the product. The principle of liking tells us people prefer to say “Yes” to those they know and like. Having people like you and coming to like them can make a big, big difference in sales.
If you owned a restaurant that takes reservations then you know “no shows” cost you lots of money. Would you like to know a simple way to cut the number of no shows by two thirds, a change that
will cost you nothing? A study was done with a Chicago restaurant owner who saw no shows drop from 30% to 10% by changing the way hostesses took reservations. Instead of saying, “Please call if you have to cancel,” they began asking, “Will you please call if you have to cancel?” Because of the principle of consistency – people feel internal and external pressure to live up to their commitments – people either called, allowing the restaurant to take a new reservation, or showed up.
Let’s say you work for a charitable organization. Would you be willing to try something different in order to
double contributions? Sending a free gift such as mailing labels can significantly increase donations because of the power of reciprocity. People feel obligated to give to those who first give to them and those free mailing labels trigger this psychological response. The American Disabled Veterans organization reported donations increasing from 18% to 35% when appeals are accompanied by mailing labels.
Sometimes you need just a few more people to do what you want but you’re not sure how to make it happen. Sharing what everyone else is doing, consensus, is a great way to pull those last few
people along because the principle of consensus tells us people feel compelled to follow the crowd. I saw this once when 45 of 55 people I was training had bought a copy of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book, Yes: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive. At the start of my training session I said, “I want to thank all of you because 45 of 55 of you bought Dr. Cialdini’s new book and that means we can literally be on the same page.” By the time the phone conference training was over and I returned to my desk seven of the 10 who had not bought the book emailed me to ask how much the book cost and who they should send the check to!
I could cite many more studies and real world examples but I think you get the point. Understanding the science of influence is Powerful! What I share isn’t based on someone’s good advice, or what worked for them; it’s rooted in decades of scientific research using controlled studies. I hope this persuades your thinking and that you’re starting to see that understanding how people think and behave and then adjusting your communication, can make a big difference with very little time, effort or money. I hope you’ll join me next week when we look at why persuasion is an Everyday skill.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

How is the Wealth Pie Divided?

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I read an article in The Atlantic recently that was a bit shocking and eye-opening, titled “Americans Want to Live in a Much More Equal Country (They Just Don’t Realize It).”  The article focused on people’s ideal, actual estimate, and the reality of how American wealth is divided up amongst the population.
Let’s suppose there are 100 people in a fictitious society and the average “wealth” per person is $50,000, for a total of $5 million in wealth for the whole society. Of course that $5 million would not be divided evenly because some people do better than others whether through luck, perseverance, or a little of both. On the opposite end, some don’t do well for a host of reasons.
Speaking of how well people do, let’s divide the 100 people into five groups of 20, so we have the bottom 20%, the next 20%, the middle 20%, another 20%, and finally, the top 20%. My question for you would be this: how would you divide the wealth pie between the five groups? In other words, how much of the $5 million should each group get?
In the article referenced above, people were asked a similar question without referring to actual dollars. According to their answers, in an ideal society, the top 20% would get 32% of the wealth. That would translate into $1.6 million, or 60% more than everyone would get in an “even” split. Then they were then asked to estimate how much total wealth the top 20% actually had, and they guessed almost 60%, which would translate into $3 million of our $5 million pie.
So what was the actual split in America? The top 20% in our society have 84% of the wealth, or $4.2 million of the $5 million pie! More shocking than that, is what the bottom 40% have to split – a whopping .3%. That means in our fictitious society the bottom 40% would have $15,000 of the $5 million wealth to share among 40 people. You read that right, $15,000 to share among 40 people.
In the field of influence, we talk about the contrast phenomenon which tells us what is presented first, i.e., how things are ordered, can make all the difference in how people assimilate the information. On this subject, in an article I posted last year, I wrote:
“We would do well to always ask ourselves what we’re comparing to and whether or not it’s a valid comparison or the best comparison. For example, I heard on a conservative news channel the Illinois state legislature was considering a 66% increase in the state income tax. Wow, that should be cause for revolt in this economy! But here’s the perspective from the other side; the state income tax would only go up 2 percentage points. And here’s where both comparisons come from; the tax will go from 3 percent to 5 percent. That’s 2 percentage points, a 66% increase. I’m sure those opposed to the tax talked about a 66% increase whereas those in favor focused on the 2 percent change. Both are valid and both will elicit completely different responses! Compared to what?”
As people see the inequity in our country more clearly it’s a sure recipe for discontent and that discontent will manifest itself somehow. We saw the beginnings of that with the “We are the 99%” and “Occupy Wall Street” movements. I don’t think people expect everyone will get the same slice of the pie but many feel they have very little opportunity to better themselves because of the obstacles they face. On the other end there’s the old saying, “the rich get richer,” because wealth reinvested usually creates income without the obstacles so many people have to overcome.
With the presidential election coming up, both sides are talking about the same issues but in very different ways. How each candidate presents his case will impact how Americans think about the issues and ultimately vote. As we struggle with record deficits, there is quite a bit of talk about how to rein the deficit in. In the most basic terms we can collect more money through taxes, reduce government spending, or have some combination of the two. My encouragement to you is simply this; during the election season pay very close attention to what is presented and how it’s presented so you can make the most informed choice.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Treat Your Reputation Like Gold

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The September Influencers from Around the World post comes all the way from down under, from Australia’s only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer Anthony McLean. Anthony just started a new venture called Social Influence Consulting Group. You can connect with Anthony on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Treat Your Reputation Like Gold!

 

 

How are with staying on top of things?  Are you across social media?  Do you hide away from it?  Well this next big change is going to drag you along whether you like it or not!

 

 

Imagine a world where:

 

 

  • You are hired based on your performance in online forums.
  • Where banks review your online reputation as well as your credit rating.
  • Where good references in making payments on time like renting a house can assist in renting a car.

In the reputation-driven world of the future, before anyone meets or does business with you, they will not only Google you but assess your online reputation through the many tools available to display this data.
And just as good reviews and referrals will drive people in your direction, negative comments will also impact you like never before.

Your online trustworthiness is your next big business commodity. The thing is, Reputation Marketing is not a thing of the future, it is here, now!
Your Reputation Data is already being expertly mined and collated for all to see.  Those with good reputations, as evidenced by likes, recommendations, endorsements, etc., will in the next six to 12 months see themselves gravitating towards page 1 on Google because they can be trusted and people like to interact with them.  Those with questionable reputations will fall
by the wayside just as it happens in the offline world.

Your digital reputation is fast becoming a guide to your trustworthiness; both in the digital and physical realms.
Wired magazine
reported in its September 2012 issue, “The value of reputation is not a new concept to the online world: think star ratings on Amazon, PowerSellers on eBay or reputation levels on games such as World of Warcraft.  The difference today
is our ability to capture data from across an array of digital services.  With every trade we make, comment we leave, person we ‘friend,’ spammer we flag or badge we earn, we leave a trail of how well we can or can’t be trusted.”
In the Principles of Persuasion Workshop, we know that when we are unsure of what we should do in a certain situation we look to a recognized Authority to guide our behaviour.  Critical to being a credible authority, however is not only our expertise but also our trustworthiness.  Therefore managing and marketing your reputation has just become far more important in persuading others because it will be tracked and easily found in the reputation centric world of the future.
In marketing now, a good online reputation will easily establish your authority, however if it is not managed well and is tarnished by negative comments, reviews, activities or statements, this will be made available for others to see and judge.
Likewise, when have no other ability to assess a person or their request we look to the behaviour of others like us to guide our decisions.  This is known as consensus or social proof.
A new study conducted by Berkley Economists Michael Anderson and Jeremy Magruder (published this month’s Economic Journal)found that across 328 restaurants in the San Francisco Bay Area, if crowd-sourced reviews moved a restaurant from a 3.0 to a 3.5 star rating, this would increase a restaurant’s chance of selling out during prime dining times from 13% to
34%.  Moving from 3.5 to 4.0 stars increased the chance of selling out during prime dining times by another 19 percentage points and these changes occur even though restaurant quality held constant.
The study reaffirmed that crowd-sourced reviews have a bigger impact when there is a lack of alternative information available by which to judge a restaurant’s quality. “If a restaurant has a Michelin star or it appears in the San Francisco Chronicle’s list of Top 100 Restaurants in the Bay Area, the Yelp star becomes irrelevant,” said Magruder.
Therefore Consensus (the opinion of others) is
trumped by Authority (proof you are
credible and trustworthy)!
IMPLICATION FOR YOU!
You need to start managing your reputation.  From reviews to referrals, to customer service, to being mindful of the comments you and/or your staff make.
Get good comments, solicit referrals, and provide mechanisms for others to praise you, but stay on top of the negative feedback.  Counter it.
Apologise where necessary.  But
ignore it at your peril!
“We are only at day one in the whole idea of global reputation,” says Brian Chesky, cofounder and CEO of the peer-to-peer marketplace Airbnb.  “By the end of the decade, a good online reputation could be the most valuable currency in your possession”.
Anthony, CMCT
Sources:
http://www.newscenter.berkeley.edu/2012/09/04/yelp-reviews-boost-restaurant-business/
http://www.wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2012/09/features/welcome-to-the-new-reputation-economy?page=all
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/television/australias-next-top-model-judge-charlotte-dawson-takes-aim-at-twitter-trolls/story-e6frfmyi-1226459899947#ixzz25yDbzUp4

Can Your Name Impact Your Career Choice?

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Nearly three years ago I wrote a post I called, Franzese or Frazetta: Do
Names Really Matter? It was inspired by my friend Michael Franzese telling me his favorite artist was Frank Frazetta. I had a good chuckle about that because I know names can significantly impact how much we like someone, where we live, and even the career we choose.

In the study of persuasion we say this is part of the liking principle because we look more favorably on things we have in common with others. There’s also another name for this, Nominative Determinism, which is a “term for the theory that a person’s name can have a significant role in determining key aspects of job, profession or even character.”

If you pick up a copy of a book coauthored by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., Yes!50 Scientifically Prove Ways to Be Persuasive, and flip to chapter 30 you can read more about this interesting phenomenon and some of the background on the studies for yourself.

Here’s the gist; statistically Dennis is more likely to become a dentist than Jerry or Walter. Lawrence also has a higher probability of being a lawyer than Bob or Tom. This also extends to places we choose to live and people we tend to associate with.

When it comes to names and careers it’s not that everyone named Dennis will become a dentist anymore than all people named Lawrence will become lawyers but statistically they have a much higher likelihood of choosing those careers than people with names wholly unrelated to those professions.

Why am I revisiting this topic? First for fun. I think this is interesting and people I speak with find it interesting too. They usually smile and laugh when I share more about it. I hope you do the same as you read more.

The second reason is because of something that caught my attention on the news. There was a story about a doctor named Lawrence Bone. That in and of itself is no big deal but he just so happens to be an orthopedic surgeon – a bone doctor – in Buffalo, N.Y.! I had to chuckle as I listened to the story.

Many years ago when Jane and I were looking for new countertops, I found it funny, and more than coincidental, that our salesman’s name was Dan Mason. How interesting that Dan Mason worked as a salesman for a company that sold marble countertops!

I got a real chuckle on this one. Some good friends let us know their daughter got a swimming scholarship to college and shared an article in the local paper. I clicked on the link they sent so we could read more and started to laugh when I saw her high school swim coach’s last name – Peterfish. Wow, a guy with “fish” in his name decided to coach swimming.

A friend at State Auto, Steve Ruble, works in our accounting department. In case you don’t know it, a ruble is a unit of Russian currency. I don’t know about you but I find it interesting that a guy with a last name having to do with money works with money.

Don’t you find it amazing that Marcus Webb was the director of The Amazing Spiderman? Get it – spider web.

Now long ago people’s names were associated with their livelihood. So last names like Farmer, Mason, Smith (for blacksmith), Woods, Hunter, etc., were common names for the people who worked in those trades. Those names have endured but in this world of so many choices it’s seldom that people have stayed in the family business.

I encourage you to pay attention to people’s names when you meet them because I’m sure you’ll spot these “coincidences” more than you might have imaged you would. If you come across some good ones please let me know. And last but not least, have fun with it.

To Question or Not to Question? That’s the Question!

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To question or not to question? That’s the question! I recently had an uncomfortable discussion about politics. Although conventional wisdom is to steer clear of sex, politics and religion, it’s hard to avoid politics with a presidential election only months away.
Believe me, talking about sex would have been much more fun and less confrontational
than what I experienced.

During the course of the discussion a family member who is very well read and very smart asked me lots and lots of questions. Not having the passion for the subject, nor the desire to do the
in-depth reading on the various topics involved, I didn’t know the answers to the barrage of questions that came my way.
Frustrated I finally said, “Don’t ask me anymore questions you clearly know I don’t know the answer to. If you have something you want to tell me, just tell me.” Moments later came more
questions to which I replied, “You did it again. I told you I wouldn’t know the
answers so what would you like to tell me?”
Apart from understanding the
principles of influence, a couple of key components to being a master persuader
are knowing your audience and how best to engage them.
My family member clearly wanted to persuade me to see things from his viewpoint with the goal of getting me to
vote for his candidate. Despite his many facts, figures and detailed arguments I’m willing to bet he’s not very successful in his efforts with people because he doesn’t get the human element of persuasion. You see, everyone isn’t as logical and well read as he is but he operates as if they are. The reality is, people are not rational beings and like it or not, you have to understand how others think and what’s important to them if you want to persuade them.
For example, if someone is unemployed, then the economy is probably #1 for them because they want to get a
job. Give them a candidate who can make that happen and they’ll likely vote for him. Talking about military spending, health care, etc., aren’t  going to press the unemployed person’s hot button. That’s analogous to the salesperson who feels the need to tell you about every detail of a car when all you care about is good gas mileage and a sporty look.
The real crux of this post however is about questions in the persuasion process. When you attempt to persuade someone, good questions can be a tremendous help but only if used correctly.
Questions that open people up to share their past experiences, thoughts, feelings and values can be useful because they tap into the principle of consistency. This principle of influence tells us people feel internal and external psychological pressure to remain consistent in what they say and do. If I tell you the economy is most important to me then you can tailor your conversation to show why your candidate might be the best choice. The same could be said of any other topic related to the election. Get to know what matters to someone then you can speak to those issues.
However, when multiple questions are asked that people can’t answer, how do you think that makes them feel? I bet many of you are thinking of words like stupid, dumb or ignorant. Asking people
questions about your area of expertise might make you feel smart but it also can make other people feel ignorant. Do you think people appreciate being made to feel ignorant? Of course not. Do you think people feel compelled to take your side or do what you want after you’d make them feel stupid? Absolutely not.
And such is the case sometimes with intellectuals who lack the ability to read people and adjust their
communications accordingly. It doesn’t matter how smart you are if people can’t
understand you or if your communication style repels them. My relative isn’t alone in this by any means. I’ve seen countless people “shoot themselves in the foot,” so to speak, during their attempts to persuade people because they miss the human element.
Several years ago I wrote a series of blog posts on persuading personality types. Based on results I collected
from an online survey, it was clear you don’t persuade the Donald Trump (pragmatic) personality the same way you might the Oprah Winfrey (expressive), Sandra Bullock (amiable), or Albert Einstein (analytical). Master persuaders recognize the differences and adjust their communication accordingly.
To question or not to question? That’s really is the question! If you take the wrong approach you’ll do nothing except alienate people and hurt your chances to win them over. However, done the right way sometimes it can be far easier than you ever imagined. Pay close
attention next time and make the necessary adjustments if you want to enjoy more success.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

How to Get Everything You Want in Life

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Zig Ziglar,
a well known author, sales trainer and motivational speaker regularly told
audiences, “You can get everything you want in life IF you’ll just help enough
other people get what they want.” Wow! Essentially he’s saying just help enough
other people fulfill their dreams and your dreams can come true too. 

Zig might
not have been a social scientist but he clearly understood the power of
reciprocity. This principle of influence tells us people feel obligated to help
those who first help them. So back to Zig; help lots of people and lots of
people will want to help you.

Watch this
two minute video from my presentation at The Ohio State University and you’ll
gain more insight into why the principle of reciprocity is so powerful.  

Are you looking for a keynote speaker, training, or consulting on
how to apply scientifically proven principles of influence to your sales,
marketing, management or leadership?  If so, reach out to me
(BFA654@gmail.com or 614.313.1663) and we’ll talk about your specific
needs. 
Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Thinking Hurts!

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This month’s guest blogger in the Influencers from Around the World series is Cathrine Moestue. Cathrine emailed me her article all the way from Norway! She one of the 27 Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCT) in the world today! If you’d like to connect with Cathrine you can do so on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. I know you’ll enjoy “Thinking Hurts!”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Thinking Hurts!
Remember the love song from the Scottish rock band Nazareth called ”Love Hurts” from 1975?  Well it turns out more good things in life hurt too, like thinking. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel  Prize winner in economics, in his latest book Thinking Fast and Slow, explains why thinking hurts – we have two systems in our brains. He calls them rather simplisticly ”system one” and ”system two.” System one is fast, intuitive, and emotional whereas System 2 is slower, more deliberate, and more logical.
Kahneman exposes the extraordinary capabilities – and also the faults and biases – of fast thinking, and reveals the pervasive influence of intuitive impressions on our thoughts and behavior. We are not rational decision makers but highly influenced not only by external stimuli but by our very own way of thinking.
Our biases become evident when we are overconfident about our corporate strategies. We are greatly affected by loss aversion, and our cognitive biases have a profound effect when we invest in the stock market. However, even more importantly they explain why we are faced with challenges of properly framing risks we encounter at work and even when it comes to our national security!
Recently  Norwegians were presented with evidence of how painful our cognitive biases can be. Last week an offical report stated the Norwegian police could have prevented the bombing of central Oslo and caught mass killer Anders Breivik faster than they did. Presenting the almost 500-page report, the inquiry team questioned why the street outside the prime minister’s office, Grubbegata, was not closed to traffic as had been recommended seven years before.
Even our prime minister knew it was a security risk but somehow he couldn’t make a descion to do anything about it. Something else must have been seen as more important, or maybe he thought someone else took responsibility for it. Either way it seems like a classic example of system one thinking, where self-defense prevails, and in reality not much thinking is actually being done at all. Our prime minister is only human and this issue concerns us all. We are blind to our own blindness about our how we think.
The report also notes that a two-man local police team reached the lake shore at Utvika first, but chose to wait for better-trained colleagues rather than find a boat and cross to Utoeya themselves. This waiting cost many lives, and the “Clint Eastwood” mentality was nowhere to be seen, unfortunatley.
When the consequences are not just loss of money, but the loss of lives, young lives at that, the knowledge of influence and decision making becomes rather more urgent, rather more pressing.
The good news is that raising our awareness of the  principles of influence (the shortcuts we use while making desicions) combined with understanding the process of thinking  (system one and two) we have a powerful new tool. A tool that we can use to become more effective in any organization.
Even though the report mentioned here can be seen as a national humiliation there is one Norwegian company that really glows in the dark; the architectural firm Snøhetta (named after one of Norway’s tallest mountains). Fast Company ranked them on its list of the worlds most innovative companies in 2011 and the company has won culturally significant, emotionally powerful commissions such as the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, in Egypt, the new 9/11 museum pavilion at New York’s Ground Zero; and the redesign of Times Square. This Oslo and New York based company has really taken seriously that thinking hurts.

 

If you are the most innovative architectural company in the world you do not have a choice, you have to get out of your mentally lazy state, out of the comfort zone, out of the box thinking and into system two where creativity lies.

Snøhetta has created a method of putting itself in other people’s shoes; it fools its system one by approaching any new project with a change in roles.

The architect must think like the artist, the artist must think like the architect, the economist must think like the sociologist and vice versa. When you hire Snøhetta, in other words, you don’t purchase a signature building (though you’ll probably get one in the end). You buy into a line of thinking, and a process that aims to place equal emphasis on architecture, landscape and social engagement. It is this flexibility of thought and of cooperation between departments we all have something to learn from.

 

Thinking, Fast and Slow is not only a unique book but also part of an intellectual revolution in which social psychological ideas have a profound influence on politics and economists, at least in some countries. Robert Cialdini’s seminal book Influence Science and Practice has been credited for being the key mover of this thought revolution. Indeed, Cialdini, along with a team of behavioral economists including Dan Ariely, Cal Sunstein and Daniel Kahneman, was called on by Barack Obama to help him win the presidency in 2008. I only wish our government had been as foresighted. Thinking hurts but if we want to improve we better get into the habit. The “No Pain – No Gain” slogan seems to be true for sport, business and politics.

Cathrine Moestue, CMCT