Influence for Professional and Personal Success

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I’ve been very busy lately, lots of travel and presentations revolving around influence and persuasion. Several weeks ago I was in Chicago for the NAMIC (National Association of Mutual Insurance Companies) Personal Lines Convention. I followed that up with at trip to Penn State University where I got to address members of the Keystone Insurers Group. Next it was a small business owner’s event hosted by EasyIT in my hometown, Columbus, Ohio. As you read this it’s very likely I’m in Milbank, S.D., training State Auto field people. Then I’m off to Greensboro, N.C., next week for another Keystone conference. I get to finally catch my breath in late May!

When I address groups to talk about influence, early on I let them know I’m passionate about the subject for a couple reasons. First and foremost, I’ve seen the application of the principles of influence lead to success for me personally as well as for people I’ve trained. When an insurance agent tells me they landed a large account after trying for three years because they used what I taught them or another says they applied what they learned and it worked like magic you can understand we all feel pretty darn good.

Another reason I’m passionate about influence and persuasion is because understanding and ethically applying the principles of influence will not only help your career, it can help your personal life as well. After all, when you leave work you’re still interacting with people and quite often you’re making requests of them, hoping to hear, “yes!” Lots of training programs can help you succeed on the job but not too many can promise to make you better away from the office too.

Aristotle, a pretty smart guy, said persuasion was, “the art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” That’s a pretty solid definition. After all, if someone is already doing what you want then there’s no need to ask, no need to persuade. The problem is, too often they’re not doing what you’d like. The challenge for you is how to make your request.

I would differ from Aristotle on one point; art vs. science. My definition of persuasion would, “the science of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.” Social psychologists have been studying the science of influence for more than six decades now. Based in the vast research we know there are better ways – “Best Practices,” if you will – when it comes to making requests of others.

I’m not a social psychologist; I’m a sales coach and sales trainer. I immerse myself in books dealing with psychology with an eye towards how to take what I’m learning and apply it to the real world – professionally and personally. If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time then you know I write primarily about business applications but also devote a good deal to personal issues like parenting. I do this because I so clearly see the principles of influence helping in both areas.

Fortunately for me most people don’t know much about the science and are eager to learn. I opened by saying I’ve been on the road a lot lately and something caught my eye during my travels that I want to share with all of you as a clear way of demonstrating the application of influence could make a big difference.

I recently stayed at a hotel conference center called The Penn Stater. When I walked into my room I noticed a placard in the bathroom that encouraged guests to consider reusing towels to help the environment. That’s a worthy cause but unfortunately the hotel bungled away an opportunity to move more people towards that environmentally friendly action.

I wrote about a similar situation two years ago in an article called Cruising Along with Influence just after taking a Royal Caribbean vacation. Neither Royal Caribbean nor The Penn Stater took advantage of the science that tells us there are more effective ways to change behavior than just appealing to saving the environment for future generations.

A study was conducted on this very subject in an attempt to determine the most effective messaging to get hotel guests to reuse their towels on their first night staying at the hotel. In the study, door hangers were used just like they were with Royal Caribbean and The Penn Stater. In the study one door hanger used a message with only an environmental appeal, “Help Save the Environment,” followed by information on the importance of the environment. Going green is prominent today so that message was somewhat effective and towel reuse went up 37.2%.

A second message was tested, one that engaged the principle of consensus. The principle of consensus tells us people’s actions are influence by what others are doing. This door hanger read, “Join Your Fellow Guests in Helping Save the Environment.” Below the heading it mentioned 75% of guests had participated in the new towel reuse program at some point during their stay. This message was much more effective because towel reuse rate was 44.0% on the first night.

In slight variation of that second door hanger another message was tested, one that stated 75% of the guests in that particular room had participated. When that message was used the towel reuse went up to 49%! That’s nearly a 33% increase over the environmentally friendly message just because a few words were changed. If you knew you could change your message – at no cost – and get a 33% increase in response wouldn’t that be the smart thing to do?

This is just one simple example of how theory becomes practice. There’s no guarantee you’ll get the same boost as studies show but it’s almost guaranteed you’ll get better results than you’re currently getting because the science says so. And who knows, you might get lucky and have even better results!

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Split Second Selling

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If you’ve been a reader of Influence PEOPLE for any length of time Sean Patrick is a familiar name to you. Sean is my good friend from Ireland who is in the sales training arena like I am. Sean is going to give you insight into Split Second Selling in this month’s Influencers from Around the World Series.

If you’d like get to know Sean there are many ways: visit his website, Sean Patrick Training, take a look at his blog, Professional Persuader, or look for him on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter.
Brian, CMCT
influencepeopleHelping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Split Second Selling
Whether you know me as a sales trainer or not doesn’t matter, what matters is whether you’re reading this to be entertained, to see how laughable the content is or to scan read for a take-away that you can implement into your daily routine.
As some of you know, I write my own blog and articles for various other blogs. I am often asked to write for other people. And if you already follow me then you’ll know the content I deliver is very “niche,” to the point and content rich. This one is going to be a little different. In fact this article is going to nail one point directly and very firmly on the head in a simple, easy to grasp language that even a non-English speaking tourist from Mars could understand.
This little nugget is highly effective for people who cold call or who have to prospect for a living. As some of you already know, I am a hardened prospector and very much a relationship type of sales guy. For those of you who sit on the same bench as me, you’re in for a serious free money making and kick-ass tip you’re going to want to use. You’d be hard pushed to actually find a social media trainer who would know how to teach you this. Read on for what I believe is a very important tip about LinkedIn!
Here’s how to use LinkedIn and get appointments so you can exponentially close more business by using reciprocity.
  1. Target your contacts; e.g., HR, FD, CEO, CIO, etc.
  2. Research your contacts perceived pain points and vertical market trends
  3. Grab a piece of paper and write out a quick two sentence introduction that you can insert into the friend request that is relevant to person and pain point (hence the research)
  4. Now think about what you can give to them that is relevant to your research in order for them to increase the likelihood of saying YES to your following request.
  5. Send friend requests to each and every contact you wish to do business with while ensuring you insert your offer to give in order to receive; e.g., Whitepaper, invitation to a breakfast briefing but make sure the gift is relevant.
  6. When you have identified your new contacts (the ones that came back to you), repeat, but this time asking for their work email address. See examples below of how I use this effectively and tell them you have more important information to share. By this time, this is when I start receiving DDI and cell numbers to have actual selling conversations, but go to the next step when this doesn’t happen for you.
  7. Once I have sent at least two emails to my target contacts, I then proceed to call those contacts that hadn’t come back to me. I remind them on the call that I am the person who sent them valuable information that I thought pertinent to share with them and ask them straight out when they can book a time to either see me or commit to a phone call. Before I end the call, I repeat our next appointment out loud and ask them for the last time if this is definitely OK with them.
Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about.
Are you interested to find out how companies who have discovered X, have benefited from Y that has given them Z. Please add me if interested
I would like to offer you a white paper on how companies like yours have benefitted from X! Please add me if you want to learn how. Please ignore if not appropriate or add me to find out.
I’m currently networking with people similar to you that work within your vertical because I can give you new information on how to X that results in Y.
Just a quick note to point out that our objective is not to increase our LinkedIn network, although this will happen anyway. Our objective is to get to the person we want to sell to, either face to face or via the phone. This little tip is a cold call “killer!” Now, for those of you people who are lucky enough to be in the B2C space, this same principle works even better and without the need for LinkedIn.
Whenever you make a cold call, frame your call so that you are there to help the other person, recognise their voice patterns if they are harassed or busy, and tell them you can give them a couple of days to think about it. Then tell them how they can help you either by referring you to others or by finding out if they actually need to buy from you. You know what it’s like to be frazzled and hassled and can call back in two days time in order to help them out.
Repeat above method of gaining commitment by gaining mutual agreement before the call is ended.
Voila, no cold calls, thanks to Mr. Cialdini and his fabulous principle of reciprocity with a little dose of commitment and consistency thrown in for good measure.
Sean
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Survey Still Open – if you’d like to participate in a 10 question survey you still have time. Results will be shared later this month.
  • If your last name starts with a letter between A and I click here for your survey: Survey A
  • If your last name starts with a letter between J and Z click here for your survey: Survey B
Thanks!
Brian, CMCT

Participate in a Survey

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A quick mid-week post because I’m hoping all of you will participate in a short, 10 question survey. I’ll share the results in a few weeks.
  • If your last name starts with a letter between A and I click here for your survey: Survey A
  • If your last name starts with a letter between J and Z click here for your survey: Survey B
Thanks!
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A $25 Gas Card or $25 Visa Card – Which Would You Choose?

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I’ve been on the road a lot lately leading workshops for people to improve their sales skills and one of the skills we’ve worked on is influence. I’m a firm believer that influence and persuasion come into play almost every time we interact with another human being because quite often we’re making requests of them or trying to convince them of something.

Aristotle defined persuasion this way – the art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask. I would differ from that definition only slightly – it’s not just art, there are scientific studies that tell us the most effective ways to persuade. However, I agree with Aristotle’s basic premise. After all, if someone is doing what you want before you ask, there’s no need to ask.

One aspect of influence that can make a big difference in hearing “Yes” vs. “No” is something called the contrast phenomenon. Simply put, what we compare something to can make all the difference. For example, is paying $20,000 for a car too expensive or a good deal? If you’ve only bought used cars in the past then $20,000 might seem like a lot compared to what you’ve paid in the past. On the other hand, if you’ve always bought new, high end, nice vehicles then $20,000 might seem like a bargain compared to prior purchases. The $20,000 price tag can only be called “too expensive” or “a good deal” compared to something else.

During my training sessions I like to pose this question, “Which is more valuable; a $25 gas card or a $25 Visa card?” Most workshop participants reflexively choose the gas card which is understandable because of the price of gas and fears about rising prices as summer approaches. It’s a classic “compared to what” situation.

But if you think about it for a moment you’ll quickly realize they’re both worth the same amount, $25. When I point that out I still get a few protests, “But if you spend it now you can get more gas, especially if gas prices go up like they say.” It’s true that you might get more gas today than several months down the road but no matter how high prices go you can still get $25 in gas.
Then I raise this question, “Can you spend the $25 Visa card on gas?” Of course you can and you can spend it on a lot of things other than gas. While they’re both worth the same $25 I’d argue the Visa card is actually more valuable because you have many more options on how to use it. When I point this out you can see eyebrows rise as if people are thinking, “I never looked at it that way before.”

Despite the fact that the Visa card is more versatile – dare I say valuable – if I were running an incentive contest I’d offer the gas card for the simple reason that most people think the gas card is more valuable because they’re comparing it to something scarce, something that might go up in price. And that brings me to the takeaway – whenever you try to persuade someone think of the best legitimate comparison you can, the one that will make your request shine brightest, and incorporate that into your presentation or request. Doing so will give the best opportunity for you to hear “Yes!”

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Love is the Ultimate Gift

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This post celebrates the second anniversary of Influence PEOPLE. It’s been a great two years and I look forward to many more. I love blogging and social media because it’s opened up so many doors, helped me reconnect with old friends, and allowed me to meet so many new people I never would have otherwise.

One of my best stories is Sean Patrick. I met Sean on Facebook because we had sales training backgrounds and a passion for the science of influence and persuasion. There’s nothing too amazing about that but when Sean came to America last October and stayed with Jane and I for a week it made me realize that never would have happened without the technology we have today and in particular, social media.
I opened by saying I love blogging and social media. Love might be too strong a word, especially when I think about its use as compared to how I feel about my wife and daughter. And my wife, Jane, was the inspiration for today’s post because she’s had me thinking about love lately.
Love engages reciprocity because I believe love is the ultimate gift. As a Christian I’m taught that love seeks the good of another more than it does the giver. In other words, when it comes to love, whatever I do I should do for your benefit, not my own. That’s not to say there may not be a return of some kind because giving engages the principle of reciprocity. When we do a kind deed, a loving deed, quite often people feel like they should respond in some way.
Several weeks ago Stella Collins asked a question in response to my post “The Most Expensive Gift of All – Free.” Her question was whether or not I thought asking someone to “pay it forward” was an act of reciprocity. I believe it is because it simply redirects someone’s desire to “return the favor” and points it toward another person. It allows people to unburden themselves from the feeling of obligation reciprocity creates and helps someone else in the process. I think the world would be a better place if we all did a little more redirecting.
So how did Jane become the inspiration for this post? At the beginning of April, I turned 47, and Jane threw me a surprise party at one of our favorite hangouts in Columbus, The Pub. It was a great night and tons of fun to see so many good friends. The next night we went to a wedding and after a few Newcastles she was able to convince me to slow dance. As we danced we laughed and joked and I felt like I did when we first met 25 years ago. For me it was one of those magical times I’d love to put into a bottle and hang onto forever.
So that weekend made me think about love and reciprocity. I can’t manufacture something like that weekend for Jane but I found myself wanting to give to her however I could. It ended up being simple; finding a card that expressed much of how I feel for her. Because no card can perfectly express our feelings I added a few words of my own to the card. Of course a card with a note can never encapsulate all I feel but sometimes it’s the effort that counts. The point is, because of what she gave I wanted to give back in some way.My encouragement to you this week is to love somebody. That doesn’t necessarily mean romantic feelings but rather look for ways to unconditionally give to another or do something that genuinely benefits someone else without expectation of anything in return. If they feel the need to do something in return then direct them to someone else and have them pay it forward. If we all do this some wonderful things can happen this week.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

An Interview with Anthony McLean

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A little more than a week ago Anthony McLean, CMCT, the newest guest blogger for my Influencers from Around the World series, wrote his first post for Influence PEOPLE. His initial article was about Influencing in Australia.

I just learned that Anthony was interviewed on Sky News in March when he was asked how the principles of influence relate to the behavior of investors in the stock market. I thought this would be a great way to further introduce readers to Anthony. I hope you enjoy this clip.

Brian, CMCT

influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Consistency vs. Authority: Which to Use and When

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Last month I conducted a couple of POP (Principles of Persuasion) workshops. One was for insurance agents and the other was for managers and supervisors at State Auto. Actually, I’ve done more than a dozen POPs in the past three years and I’ve seen a common thread with participants – confusing when to use the principle of consistency and when to use the principle of authority.

The principle of consistency tells us people want to be consistent in word and deed. Once a person takes a stand on an issue, be it through word or action, they feel internal psychological pressure to be consistent with what they’ve said, done or believe. Therefore, understanding what someone believes, values, and has said or done can be a powerful tool for persuasion if you can align your request appropriately.Authority, on the other hand, has to do with expertise and trustworthiness. If you can bring expert opinion into your request you significantly increase the odds that the other person will say “Yes” because people typically look to experts for advice. We do this because we simply don’t have the time or energy to research every decision. The good news is, things generally work out for the best when we rely on trustworthy experts. For example, accountants can prepare our taxes faster, more accurately and save people more money than the average citizen so many of us turn to accountants to prepare our taxes.No one I’ve ever trained has had a problem understanding either principle I’ve just described. The problem isn’t with the knowing, it’s with the doing, the application.
When you think about trying to persuade someone using the principle of consistency you need to think about them, not you. Quite often I’ll hear workshop participants say something like, “In order to persuade them I’m going to talk about how I consistently…” Your personal consistency can be an important tool in persuading another but it’s not using the principle of consistency as I’ve defined it above.When you try to persuade someone and you consider the principle of consistency as a means to do so you need to think about the other person. What have they said in the past? What have they done in the past? What are their personal beliefs? If you know the answer to one or more of those questions and can align your request with those answers you stand a much better chance of hearing them say “Yes!”Here’s an example. In sales we talk about an “up front close” as a way of making more sales. As a salesperson, if I do a good job asking questions and listening then it’s very likely a prospective customer will tell me exactly what I need to do to earn their business. But it’s not enough to just hear them because I need to use this new understanding in conjunction with the principle of consistency to increase my chances of earning their business. To do this I might say something like, “If we can get the car in the color you want, with the DVD player and matching floor mats at the price we’ve been discussing, will you buy the car from us?” If the customer has told you exactly what they want and the price they need, and you can meet all the criteria then it’s only logical that they would answer your question saying, “If you can do all that I’ll buy the car from you.” But the key is asking them because once someone says they’ll do something they feel their own internal pressure to live up to their word.I usually ask people how they feel when they give their word and have to break it. To a person, they tell me they feel bad even when their reason is perfectly legitimate. I’ve had people tell me they felt bad missing weddings because a close relative went into the hospital. I’m sure the bride and groom understood and yet the person still felt bad. That’s the power of consistency!Let me come back now to your personal consistency because I said earlier that it is
importance when it comes to influencing another person even though it’s not using the principle of consistency. When you are consistent – always return calls promptly, hit deadlines consistently, perform to a high level all the time – that increases your trustworthiness and thus your authority. If you always do what you say people come to rely on you and that opens lots of doors. However, please take note of the difference between this and consistency as outlined above because it’s important.Using the principles will only help you be more persuasive if you use them ethically and correctly. If you don’t then you’re likely to fail and abandon your attempt to use them in the future. Bad idea because these are scientifically proven ways that can help you be more persuasive.Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Influencers from Around the World – Influencing in Australia

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World article is the first guest post from Anthony McLean. Like myself and several of my guest bloggers, Anthony is a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer (CMCT). In fact, he’s the only CMCT in Australia and he’s going to share with us how to best influence should you find yourself in Australia or dealing with an Aussie. I encourage you to connect with Anthony on Facebook or LinkedIn.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.Influencing in AustraliaAs a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer I often get asked what principles work best when influencing people from other countries. In joining Brian’s Influencers from Around the World I thought I would discuss the influence culture within Australia.Many of you may already know about Australia and our culture. Perhaps you know Aussies, have done business here or with Australians abroad, have visited our far away shores or watched Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) or Crocodile Dundee on the big or small screen.Internationally Australians have a varied reputation from being laid back and casual to being beer guzzling loudmouths. The actual fact is Australia, while only having a population of 23 million, is a rich multicultural tapestry. Apart from Indigenous Australians we are all immigrants, some more recent than others; therefore, in such a large and diverse country each principle still applies.Liking – we prefer to say YES to those we know and like.
In World War I and II, Australians found themselves standing side by side with like-minded countries including our close neighbours and friends, New Zealand. It was in the caldron of battle that the ANZAC tradition was forged. We fought together, came from a similar part of the world and had similar values, attitudes and beliefs. This attitude of standing by your mates is still strongly identified with today and like many siblings, Australia and New Zealand have a fierce but friendly rivalry.

Australians are very parochial, whether it is our sporting teams, our political parties, our choice of beer or even the city or suburb we come from. Identify with the things you have in common with an Australian and you are well on your way to making a connection. If you find an Aussie who is not a sports fan, commenting on the fanatical nature of sports fans and the delusional commitment to this activity will also generally strike a chord.Many Australians are willing to give new things a go. In order to create a relationship, look to the experiences or activities you can share with us and it will be this common interest and cooperation that is sure to succeed in building a relationship based on Liking. If all else fails simply make a joke at the expense of a New Zealander or try and say “G’day” and this will generally spark a smile if not raucous laughter.Reciprocity – we prefer to give back to those who have given to us firstAn integral part of Australian society is helping out your mates. While Australians and New Zealanders love to give each other a hard time, when the chips are down that spirit of camaraderie comes to the fore. No better example was seen than during the recent natural disasters in the Asian Pacific rim. Queensland experienced a near one-in-one hundred year flood, then within weeks the biggest cyclone to ever cross our shores hit North Queensland and not surprisingly the first offer of help came from New Zealand. When the earthquake hit Christchurch it was not a consideration of if we would help but how much help we would send. Similarly with the recent earthquake in Japan, Australian search and rescue crews were dispatched immediately to support the teams on the ground because they have done the same for us in the recent past.Reciprocity is a core element to all societies and it is no different in Australia.In the outback it is not uncommon for your nearest neighbour or town to be several hours away. If you were driving on a remote country road and someone needed a tow, or a spare part, or whatever, you would stop and lend a hand because you never know when it may be you who needs some help. If you want to build a relationship with an Australian, going first is the key. Whether it is a kind word in the train, a helping hand with tipping (as we are not very good at it) or buying the first beer; these simple gestures will often ensure you have a friend for life. If nothing else you know we will be there if and when you need us.Consensus – we look to those like us to guide our behaviour when we are uncertain
In the multicultural mix that is Australia we have found that collective Asian-based cultures are becoming a greater influence in our society and connectedness a greater part of our lives. We have people from all over the world flocking to enjoy our beaches, climate and lifestyle. When trying to influence an Australian in a situation where they are not sure of what to do, don’t miss the opportunity to show us what others like us are doing. Whether it is in a work or social setting, highlight what those who are most like us, i.e., those who live or work near us, have the same job, other supporters of our sporting teams, other members of our social or age group are doing in this situation. Show us this and we will be keen to join in.

By way of example in the recent Queensland floods, reports of tens of thousands of volunteers rushing into the streets to help their neighbours spawned even more volunteers to show up until the officials asked volunteers to stop coming as they couldn’t transport all the people to the affected areas.
Authority – when we are not sure of what we should do we look to those with knowledge and wisdom we do not possess.In Australia we suffer from the “tall poppy syndrome,” where those who rise from the bunch can tend to get unnecessarily cut down. It is unfortunate but true.That being said, we are attracted to those whose actions speak louder than their words. Often the person who tends to say the least is listened to when they speak and we even have affectionate names for them like “Rowdy” (i.e., a sarcastic play on the fact they don’t often make much of a fuss). So in demonstrating Authority to influence an Australian, do what you say you will, present yourself as a knowledgeable source that is willing to listen and this will gain our respect. Like others, we are guided by Authorities, but we will expect you to do more than turn up in a big car, tell us you are from a bigger more sophisticated town than ours and name drop.Those who are an Authority will quickly gain our respect; those who rely solely on their position of Authority may not have the same success.Consistency – we are compelled to live up to the commitments that we make.Australians love to exaggerate in telling a good story, so if you want us to live up to what we say, just make sure we aren’t joking when we say something. That notwithstanding, in a country as big and sparsely populated as ours those who fail to live up to what they say they’ll do are quickly identified and are not positively thought of. It is unusual to find people who take great pride in failing to live up to the things they say they will do – it flies in the face of standing by your mates. Therefore, if you want an Australian to follow through with something, align your requests or proposals with the things they already stand for and you will have little problem getting us to do what we say we will.Scarcity – we are motivated by those things that are rare or dwindling in availabilityEven though Australia is often referred to as the lucky country, we cannot stand to lose the things we need any more than someone from overseas can. In a broad brown land that is often plagued with drought we understand the importance of seizing the opportunity when it presents. Therefore, when influencing an Australian show us what we stand to lose and we will be motivated to act. As keen sports people, show us we are in competition with others for your services and we will certainly take notice.One last point — to influence an Australian remember that we don’t tend to take ourselves too seriously. So feel free to share a smile, a joke or a kind word. Tell us when you make a mistake and show us how we can fix it. Treat us with respect and you will always be welcome to come around for a barbeque.Finally, replace the word Australian with wherever you come from and you’ll see that we are not that different to you. The principles of persuasion work all over the world, but they are about influencing people not countries. With the global village getting smaller every day, do your research on the person you are trying to influence and once you find out what types of things they stand for don’t bungle the opportunity to improve both of your positions.Anthony McLean, CMCT

 

The Most Expensive Gift of All – Free

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Sometimes the most expensive gift of all is free. That’s right, sometimes a “free” gift cost you far more than it would have if you bought it. That’s part of the reason we’re so familiar with the saying, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Let me illustrate with a story.

In early February I was in Austin, Texas to conduct some sales skill workshops for State Auto associates. The workshops went great and when they concluded I celebrated with a couple of coworkers by going down to Austin’s famous Sixth Street for dinner and to take in the historic sites.
If you’ve not been to Sixth Street it’s akin to South Beach minus the incredible wealth and palm trees you see on display at South Beach. There are restaurants, bars, live music and people galore. If you enjoy people watching it’s hard to imagine a place where you could see more diversity than Sixth Street.

As my two friends and I walked around after dinner, taking in the scenery, I was approached by a panhandler who shoved an old rose toward me and asked, “A rose for the lady?” There was no indication he was selling them and I knew he wanted me to think it was a gift. Nonetheless, I declined his offer because generally I only give flowers to my wife or daughter.

He shifted his attempt to the other man in the group but his response was, “I don’t think that would be appropriate, she’s my boss.” Because it takes three strikes before you’re out he pressed the rose towards the lady who was with us. She’d not seen or heard the original offers so when she turned around she took the rose and thanked him.
Game on because next he asked for money. She politely declined but he p
ersisted for a bit as we walked away and then he left after several more refusals. A few moments later he was behind us again and this time it looked like there might be one or two others with him. We were on a busy street with lots of other people but nonetheless it was uncomfortable and immediately she gave the rose back saying, “Here, you can have it back.” They stayed near us for a short time then soon enough they were gone.
So what happened? The panhandler knew exactly what he was doing. He might not be familiar with the term “reciprocity” but he knew how the psychology behind it worked and that’s how he eked out a small living.

Reciprocity dictates that people “return the favor” so to speak. If I do something for you then you probably feel like you owe me something in return if you’re like most people. In the same way charities engage reciprocity by giving you mailing labels with the hope that you’ll give a financial gift in return, the panhandler was giving to get. The big difference between the charity and panhandler is it’s easier to say “No thanks” to an anonymous mailer than it is to a person, especially when they’re staring you in the eye. And even though it’s easier to say “no” to the mailing labels, donations typically double when charitable organization use them!

That point is worth exploring some. Most people have difficulty saying “No” when someone is literally handing them something. To avoid that feeling many people go to great lengths to avoid something as seemingly insignificant as making eye contact. Once eye contact is made whether with a beggar, a street vendor or someone at a mall kiosk, that person will descend like a vulture on a fresh carcass!
So what should you do? First, avoid eye contact with someone because that might stop the other person from approaching to begin with. If something is placed in your hand or forced upon you simply ask, “Is this a free gift?” If they say it is then you can feel free taking it without obligation. If they do anything more say, “You told me this was free. If I thought I had to pay for it I would not have bought it,” and keep going. Of course, your other option is to do what our friend did and just hand it back.
I’m willing to bet that most free offers that come our way during the day are just that; offers to help with no strings attached. Return the favor in some way down the road when the time is appropriate and you might have the start of a great working relationship. But outside the realm of friends and coworkers you might do well to heed the old saying that warns us, “Beware the man bearing gifts.”
Brian, CMCT
influencepeopleHelping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

How Bernie Madoff with our Money

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We all know the name Bernie Madoff, perpetrator of the biggest Ponzi scheme ever in American business. It’s estimated that $36 billion was invested with Madoff’s firm and that upwards of $18 billion is still missing.

A few weeks ago I was in Cleveland to speak at the local chapter of the Chartered Property Casualty Underwriters (CPCU). I was asked to talk about ethics so I decided a unique approach for this insurance group would be taking a look at Dr. Cialdini’s principles of influence and how they were used by Bernie Madoff. The title for my talk was “How Bernie Madoff with our Money.”

When I talk about the principles of influence I usually refer to ethical influence and persuasion so talking about the unethical use was an interesting change for me. The principles of influence tap into the psychology of human behavior – what causes someone to say “Yes” to a request – and they are powerful! Social scientists and behavioral economists have been scientifically studying human behavior for more than five decades so there’s plenty of data to back up that statement.

Con men may not know the science but through trial and error they quickly figure out how to use the psychology to their advantage. I think it’s important that people understand the principles not only to become more adept at ethically influencing people but also to avoid being manipulated by con men such as Bernie Madoff. I’m going to briefly describe each principle then share something Madoff did that helped him continually bring in new investors for decades. After all, Ponzi schemes depend on a continued inflow of investors and money or else they quickly collapse, so landing new clients was of the utmost importance for Madoff.

Reciprocity – We feel obligated to give back to those who first give to us. When someone does us a favor we want to return the favor in some way and silly as it may sound Bernie made it seem like he was doing his clients a favor by letting them invest with him. After all, his clientele were the rich and famous, he’d been a glowing success for decades and he was well respected. It was a privilege to let him handle their money. The favor was returned as people told others about him and new clients came by way of referral.  

Liking – People like to do business with people we like, especially those who are similar to them. Madoff tapped into this principle based on his similarities to many of his clients. For starters, he recruited from his country club. That’s not out of the ordinary at all because men gauge one another’s character a lot based on shared experiences like golfing. In addition to this, Madoff tapped into similarity through his Jewish heritage because many of his victims were Jewish and trusted him more based on this.

Consensus – We feel more comfortable doing what everyone else is doing or doing what people just like us are doing. If you’re rich then you hang with people who are rich too. Inevitably conversation turns to business so undoubtedly Madoff’s name was passed around like the offering plate at church. If you know many of your most successful friends invest with someone that’s going to give you pause to consider making a switch.

Authority – People tend to trust those who are viewed as experts and Bernie had this one down! He’d been investing successfully since the early 1960s, but what was more impressive was that he helped start the NASDAQ. His trustworthiness was impeccable because he also served as the Chairman of the Board for the National Association of Security Dealers. Why wouldn’t you automatically trust him with those credentials on his side?

Consistency – We like to be consistent in what we say and do because when you do something you usually do it because you believe it’s the right thing to do. If someone asks who you invest with and whether or not you’re doing well of course you’ll respond positively. Being the con-man he was, I’m sure Madoff occasionally asked his biggest clients for referrals and recommendations which they were probably all too willing to do. After all, it would be inconsistent not to.

Scarcity – People want more of what they can’t have or something that is hard to come by. I don’t think Madoff’s firm was one in which any person could pick up the phone and ask to open an account. When you’re dealing in the billions like he was it tends to be a very exclusive club and the more exclusive, the more people wanted in. How would you feel if you knew a business only took on a limited number of new clients each year and you were one they were considering? Most people would jump at the chance.

So there you have it, a quick overview of some of the psychology of How Bernie Madoff with our Money. Hindsight is 20/20 so it’s easy for us to look back and think we’d never be fooled in such a way. However, think about the kinds of people who invested with him – the rich and famous – people who were smart or had smart people managing their money. No, the reality is we’re all susceptible because we’re human and the same psychological pull would be at work in us. Madoff’s situation and science both confirm that. Here’s my advice to you; continue to learn about influence, keep your eyes and ears open, and learn to trust your gut because when something seems too good to be true it usually is.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.