Tag Archive for: Cialdini

How Are You Doing? It’s Relative.

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Not too long ago I got a medical bill and was shocked by how large it was. As I thought about paying it I had the feeling many of you might have had in the past – it seems like I can never get ahead.
Sleeping on it didn’t help because it was top of mind when I went for my run early the next morning. Running is good for me because it allows me to clear my thoughts and gain perspective.  As I considered the medical bill the Oklahoma tornado tragedy came to mind. All of a sudden my “problem” paled in comparison to those who lost loved ones and the thousands who lost homes and possessions.
Please don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think of the Oklahoma tragedy to make myself feel better but the reality is this; no matter how good or bad we have it, someone else has it better or worse. How we’re doing depends almost entirely on what and who we compare ourselves to.
During the Principles of Persuasion workshop I talk about something called the contrast phenomenon which tells us how we experience something is directly related to what we compare it to. For example, saving $5 on a $10 item makes feel pretty good but saving $5 on a $100 item doesn’t have nearly the same effect. It’s the same $5 but how we view it is relative to something else.
Much of life is spent making comparisons:
  • How much we make
  • The house we live in
  • The car we drive

This can lead to a lot of problems and a good amount of discontent because there’s always someone who makes more, has a nicer home or car, a better looking spouse, smarter kids, etc.

My faith teaches that comparing ourselves to one another is foolish because we’re comparing to the wrong thing. If God is the standard then on one hand we’d all fall short no matter how “good” we are. Fortunately God doesn’t ask us to measure ourselves by His perfection but rather by His love. When it comes to that, He is clear – we can’t earn it and there’s nothing we’ll ever do that will make Him love us more or less.
Personally I find this freeing. No matter how productive I am today, or unproductive, no matter how well or poorly I do, nothing changes His standard. For me it means pursing whatever I do not for the accolades, money or some other external reason but rather for the enjoyment it brings me and the opportunity to help others.
So here’s my advice the next time you’re feeling blue; take a moment to explore why and ask yourself if perhaps the state you’re in has to do with comparing who you are or where you are in life to some arbitrary target. If that’s what you’re doing, then you can change the frame of reference just like I did during my morning run. The bill remains the same but I’m in a much better frame of mind and that’s priceless.
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

When a Sale isn’t a Sale

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Do you enjoy getting a good deal? I know I do
and so do most consumers. The reality is, very seldom do we know if we’re
getting a good deal because “the deal” is always relative. For example, a $300
smart phone is a good deal when you realize the normal price is $600. In other
words, when you think you’re saving money you believe you’re getting a good
deal and that’s extra enticement when it comes to the purchasing decision.
How would you feel if you were told you were
saving 50% off of the original $300 price of luggage only to find out you saved
nothing? I know I’d be upset because it’s very likely I would have factored in
the “sale” price into my buying decision, consciously or unconsciously.
In a class action lawsuit, a California court recently said
consumers have a right to sue retailers if the price advertised is fake. Kohl’s,
the retailer involved in the suit, says its advertised price was truly a sale
and besides that, “the lawsuit was originally dismissed because a judge ruled
that the customer couldn’t sue because he hadn’t lost money by buying
merchandise that wasn’t as much of a bargain as he thought it was.”
So imagine you have the luggage and it works
as well as you expected, would you still be upset that the “sale” price was
just the price that you’d get anytime you visited the store? Would you feel
manipulated to some degree?
It’s one thing to buy something and then
realize you could have purchased it elsewhere for less – shame on you for not
doing your homework. However, should you have to do your homework to know
whether or not the store is telling you the truth about their “sale”?
In an article titled “Permission Marketing,” in
Fast Company, William C. Taylor
wrote, “This year, the average consumer will see or hear one million marketing
messages – that’s almost 3,000 per day.” Wow! Now here’s a scary thought – that
quote is 15 years old! How much more do you think you’re exposed to with the
explosion of the internet and social media? No one can possibly process it all
and that’s why so much of our decision-making happens at the subconscious
level. In fact, Martin Lindstrom, author of Buyology,
contends that 85% of what we do on a daily basis comes from unconscious
decisions.
One way we wade through the myriad of choices
comes from decision triggers, or reliable bits of information, that guide us
into what we believe are good choices. Seeing “sale” is one such trigger.
Studies show that simply by advertising a “sale” or using some other feature
like a yellow “Everyday Low Price” sticker can sometimes double sales even if the
price hasn’t changed at all.
When I teach people about influence I stress
ethics because I want students to feel good about how they apply their new
knowledge. As people work in small groups to come up with some criteria about
what constitutes an ethical request every group always mentions honesty and
truthfulness. To a person they feel if someone is going to make an ethical
attempt to persuade another individual they have to be telling the truth.
If you consider what I just shared about
decision triggers and how retail sales increase based on using the word “sale,”
do you think it’s deceptive of a store to advertise sale prices when in fact
they’re not any different that the regular prices you can get every day at the
store? In other words, if you shopped at Kohl’s every week and saw the 50% off
luggage, wouldn’t you come to realize the price is just $150 because it was
never sold for $300?
Like it or not, when we see a sale being
advertised it gets us into stores far more than if there was no sale. Once
we’re in the store we buy more so wouldn’t it be nice to know we’re truly
getting the good deal that’s advertised?
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

5 Reasons Why Starbucks is so Persuasive

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What better place to write this post than sitting in Starbucks on a beautiful spring day. The smooth jazz is playing as the barista and others hustle behind the counter helping a diverse group of people who pop in and out for their daily fix. Of course, there’s also the smell of roasted coffee beans in the air. All the senses are engaged when you visit a Starbucks.

Coffee has gone from the Maxwell House and Folgers morning drink to something we enjoy 24 hours a day. That shift is due in large part to Starbucks. It’s amazing when you think about it because you don’t see Starbucks commercials on television and you don’t hear them on the radio. You won’t see them on billboards or magazines either. So how does a company do what Starbucks has done with no advertising? Here are my thoughts on why Starbucks is so persuasive.

Reason #1 – They create an experience when you walk into a store. Reread my opening paragraph and you’ll see what I mean. There’s no mistaking it; you know when you’re in a Starbucks. Oh sure, you can get good coffee at Panera, Cup ‘O Joe, McDonalds (or so they say) and other places but none of them feels cool like Starbucks. It’s enjoyable to sit and take it all in as you enjoy your favorite caffeinated drink. This differentiation is the principle of scarcity at work. You can’t get this feeling anywhere else.Not only is the service great inside, it’s excellent at the drive-through as my friend and LinkedIn guru Bob McIntosh points out his post Want Great Customer Service, Go to Starbucks.

Reason #2 – The baristas and others who work here really seem to enjoy their jobs and I don’t think it’s because they’re hyped up on caffeine. I’m not familiar with Starbucks’ hiring process but the company knows what it wants in an employee and does a great job hiring the right people. That’s a huge part of the Starbucks brand. When you walk in you’re greeted by multiple people asking how your day is going. They engage you in a way that makes you like them and as we all know, people like to do business with people they like. That’s the principle of liking and it makes you want to come back again and again.

Reason #3 – Something that stands out about Starbucks is how easily recognizable its cups are. It’s amazing how many times you see them when you’re out and about. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the airport, at the mall, out for a walk in the park or anyplace else. That’s Starbucks’ advertising – me, you and everyone else walking around with a Starbucks in hand! The more we see people with their Starbucks, the more it signals to us that it’s a great product. The principle of consensus tells us people look to others to get a sense of what’s appropriate behavior. Which would you assume is the better restaurant, the one with lots of empty tables or the one with a wait? Most people would assume the latter and so it is with Starbucks.

Reason #4 – Have you tried the Starbucks app? I think it’s one of the best apps available for your smart phone. You can put in your favorite drink so when you visit you hold the app up to the scanner and the barista knows exactly what you want. It has a store locator, which is great if you travel a lot like I do. You even get free songs from iTunes almost weekly, which is cool because it exposes me to music I probably wouldn’t go look for, or want to buy. This giving engages the principle of reciprocity, making us more likely to return the favor, so to speak, by purchasing coffee.

Reason #5 – But the smartest move Starbucks made with their app is the ability to load it with cash so you can pay by phone. It works just like having a gift card except you don’t need the gift card because you pay with the phone. The brilliance is once you’ve loaded the app you don’t feel like you’re actually spending money when you buy your coffee! After all, if I have $25 or $50 on my app I’ll go out of my way to use it versus perhaps stopping by some other coffee shop where I have to “pay.”

And think about this; it’s much easier for consumers to make a few, larger purchases by reloading the app occasionally as opposed to constantly pulling $5 or $10 out to pay each time you stop by a store. In other words, Starbucks has removed the pain of paying.

Is Starbucks for everyone? Of course not, but there’s no denying the company is an incredible success and that’s not by accident. Starbucks is very intentional in its attempts to persuade us to get our fix at one of its local establishments and I’d say it’s doing an amazing job.

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

It Could Never Happen Today or Could It?

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I got a strange birthday present this year
from my daughter Abigail; a book called Hitler Youth by Susan Campbell
Bartoletti. Abigail has been fascinated by what took place around World War II,
particularly the Holocaust, so couple that with her youth pastor recommending the
book along with my interest in psychology, and that’s how she came up with the idea.
The book details how Adolph Hitler and the
Nazis used the young German population to strengthen their cause and implement
their gruesome plans. The indoctrination of the German youth began in the early
1930s and went all the way up through the end of the war.
The children were so brainwashed between
school, the Hitler Youth organization and summer work camps that many had more
loyalty to Hitler and the state than to their own parents. Some children even
turned their parents in to Nazi authorities when they heard them say derogatory
things about Hitler or the Nazis!
For decades people have wondered how any human
being could have witnessed what was going on and not done something. Even
worse, how could anyone have willingly participated in such evil?
It’s easy for us to think the atrocities that
occurred under Hitler could never happen in this day and age because we have social
media and people would take action immediately. Sadly, that’s not the case. The
world was aware of genocide in Rwanda with the nightly news and did little to
stop it until hundred of thousands were slaughtered. More recently we only
need to look at the North Korean regime.
Five decades ago Stanley Milgram, a social
psychologist from Yale, wondered how people could have willingly participated
with the Nazis, so he set out find an answer.
Milgram conducted a series of experiments in
the early 1960s to find out how subjects would respond to an authority figure. The principle of authority tells us people defer to those with expertise and those in positions of power. As you might imagine, most people predicted the average American wouldn’t harm another person, but during a “learning experiment” Milgram found
that two-thirds of his subjects willingly administered a series of 30
progressively stronger shocks to a learning partner. The final shock was 450
volts, enough voltage to kill a person!
During the experiment no threats were used, there
was no prior history with the experimenter to consider, nor was anyone’s career
on the line. What turned these normal people into willing participants in
torture? Believe it or not, all it took was a man in a white lab coat – a
perceived authority – insisting that participants continue with the experiment.
Many protested, some to the point of near emotional breakdown, but two out of
three participants administered all 30 shocks.
Are we much different today than we were in
the early ‘60s? In a much milder form, the Milgram experiment and many other
interesting scenarios such as bullying have been replicated in recent years on the
NBC television show What Would You Do?
Various studies show most people believe
themselves to be better looking than the average person, and smarter, kinder
and, I bet, more heroic. You probably believe you are and I’ll be honest, I
believe I’m all those things too. Because of our high self-esteem we’d like to
believe we would have immediately done the right thing if we’d been in Nazi
Germany or someplace else where we witnessed something horrific. But the odds
are against us, because human nature hasn’t changed much during the past
century.
It’s become commonly documented that all too
often people don’t help one another when they see someone in need and the more
people there are around, the less any one person feels the need to help. This
is sometimes called the “bystander effect” or “diffusion of
responsibility.” If you doubt this consider, Catherine Susan “Kitty”Genovese, the woman who was stabbed to death in New York City in 1964 in full
view, or within earshot, of many people who did nothing to help her.
So what can you and I do? On a personal level,
having just read this you’re probably thinking, “I’d never do that” and that’s
a good first step. The principle of consistency tells us people want their
words and deeds to match. By telling ourselves we wouldn’t do such a thing
we’re raising our awareness that should something like that occur we’re more
likely to recognize it and take appropriate action.
Something that strengthens our resolve when it
comes to consistency is to make a public commitment. The more public we are
about our views on right and wrong, good and bad, and what we’d do, the more
likely we are to follow through on those actions.
Here’s the good news – quite often other
people know the right thing to do but are afraid to act. However, when one
courageous person takes a stand it emboldens others and before you know it you
can have a movement of good against evil. And the sooner we act, the easier it
will be to stamp out something before it seems too big, too imposing to deal
with.
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Parenting and the Garden of Eden

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Our daughter Abigail is just finishing her
junior year of high school. It’s hard to believe before the year is over she’ll
be 18 years old, officially an adult in the eyes of the law. I still remember
looking at her in her crib thinking, “I can’t believe she’s been with us 100
days already.”

 

I’ve learned so many things raising her,
especially when it comes to coaching and influencing others. We’ve been blessed
because she’s a wonderful person with an unbelievable heart for people.
This may seem like a paradox but we have
almost no rules and yet we almost never have to discipline her. You might think
someone with no rules would be a loose cannon, especially during the teen
years, but it’s been exactly the opposite.
Pondering this made me think how prohibiting
certain things can sometimes have the opposite of the intended effect, making
the person want to break the rules all the more. It reminds me of God
prohibiting Adam and Eve from eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
Evil. Once the tree was deemed off limits, Eve viewed something that was there
all along – the tree smack dab in the middle of the garden – in a new and
different way.
For those who’ve raised kids you know the
moment you tell them they can’t do, touch, taste, or listen to something, that
seems to be all the want.
I believe scarcity is at the root of the
issue. This principle of influence tells us people want more of what they can’t
have.  So tell a kid they can’t watch a
movie and their curiosity is piqued as they begin to wonder, “What’s so bad in
the movie that mom and dad don’t want me to see it?”
When comes to parenting I really knew we were
on the right track several years ago when my mom relayed a conversation to me
that she’d had with Abigail. My mom was talking about rules when Abigail would
get her license and Abigail told her she really didn’t have any rules. Of
course my mom insisted she did and Abigail replied, “No grandma, I really don’t
have any rules but I wouldn’t do anything
to break my parents trust.” Wow! I don’t think I could have asked for any
more than that.
How did we get to that point? I think two
things contributed significantly – time and communication.
As an only child we devoted lots of time to
Abigail. Jane gave up a successful career in insurance to stay home and raise
her. Losing her income necessitated other sacrifices too but they were all more
than worth it.
I made it a priority to be around as much as
possible to attend school events and participate in lots of father-daughter
activities like the YMCA’s Indian Princess program. When Abigail graduated from
that program we participated together in taekwondo for many years. It was
normal for us to hop in the car and go do something together multiple times a
week.
In the midst of all that time together I made
it a point to talk with Abigail a lot
and always gave her room to share her thoughts and feelings. As my good friend, and life coach, Dennis Stranges once said, I helped her find her voice so she felt free to
share whatever was on her mind and whatever was going on in her life.
When you have conversations like we had you go
beyond rules – do this, don’t do that – and spend time talking about the whys
behind the things we’d ask her to do or refrain from.
As she showed good judgment we kept extending
responsibility and emphasized that we’d continue to give more as she displayed
more responsibility. It feeds on itself in a very positive way and everyone
wins.
When I say we don’t have rules there are certainly
things we don’t want her to do, such as have sex, drink, try drugs or
participate in other activities that could be harmful to her. However, rather
than lay down rules, she knows if we ask (not tell) her to do something or
refrain from something that we have her best interests at heart. Consequently
things that worry so many parents during the teen years have been non-issues
for us.
So my advice to parents would be threefold – 1)
spend lots of time with your kids, 2) communicate with them, and 3) try
refraining from rules and instead discuss the whys behind what you ask of them.
The earlier in their lives you begin the better but it’s never too late to
start. And remember; give them the freedom to express themselves, even if you
don’t fully agree with their likes and dislikes. Doing so will build trust and
that’s where they’ll be open to what you have to share and that’s where you
might be able to persuade them into good behavior rather than trying to force
it.
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

2 Simple Keys to Building Great Relationships

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Why does engaging reciprocity help relationships? When you do something for another person, they usually appreciate the effort, and in the midst of that, they experience good feelings towards you. Those good feelings are a result of endorphins kicking in, and their thoughts about you are positive.

A word of caution – don’t do things to build a “bank” of favors. We can all think of people we know who keep mental accounts, and it usually makes us suspicious when they do something for us.

I’ve encountered people like that, and I find myself more focused on “what do you want” instead of appreciating what they’re doing.

Liking is the other relationship principle. We know we like people who like us, and it makes everything easier when we have to deal with them. Getting people to like you is fairly easy. If you connect on things you have in common, that’s a great way to start easy conversations and build from there.

I always think of my wife, Jane, when it comes to this principle because whenever she sees someone wearing Pittsburgh Steelers clothing, she says, “Go Steelers.” In the blink of an eye, they’re talking, and you’d think they’d known each other for years.

Another simple way to engage liking is to share compliments with people when you note something praiseworthy. All too often, people have good thoughts about others but don’t share them. You’ll get those endorphins flowing with the other person if you offer a sincere compliment. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Everyone likes a compliment.”

Now here’s the real key to liking and reciprocity – focus on the other person and their best interests, not your own. When it comes to reciprocity, become the kind of person who genuinely wants to help others.

The more people sense you have their best interests at heart, the more open they’ll be to your offer to help. Don’t worry about what you’ll get in return, just give because the more you help people, the more they’ll want to help you. That’s why Zig Ziglar famously said, “You can get everything you want in life if you would just help enough other people get what they want.”

How do we focus on the other person with liking? Simple – don’t try to get them to like you, do what you can to like them. The same things that will make people like you will make you like them. If you find you come from the same hometown, have the same pets, root for the same team, etc., it becomes easy for you to like them.

As you see praiseworthy traits – and verbalize them – you begin to convince yourself the other person is really a good individual. When the other person begins to sense you truly like them, that’s when everything changes.

The bottom line is this – look for ways to give and connect that are in the best interest of others. They’ll appreciate it, respond positively, and it will have the same effect on you. It will truly be a win-win for everyone.

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – An Accountability Partner Can Help Your Life

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Readers of Influence PEOPLE know Hoh Kim
because of his guest posts to the Influencers from Around the World series over
the years. Hoh is also a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer® (CMCT®) and I actually met him when we trained together under Dr.
Cialdini. In addition to his CMCT® Hoh has his masters in communication from
Marquette University. I encourage you learn more about Hoh by visiting his
website, The Lab h, and his blog, Cool Communications. You can also connect
with Hoh on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter.
Brian, CMCT® 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
An Accountability Partner Can Help Your Life
1,000
Places to See Before You Die by Patricia Schultz is one of my favorite
books. It has been the ultimate travel guide for me for many years. What are
your “100 things to-do before you die” or perhaps more appropriately, “100
things to-do while you live”? If you need a reference, check the book 2 Do Before I Die: The Do-It-Yourself Guide
to the Rest of Your Life by Michael Ogden and Chris Day. On your to-do list
could be driving from Boston to Seattle, quitting your job and opening a
restaurant, or countless other things.
Do you have a “10 things to do every day”
list? It’s easy! Here’s my example:
1. 30-minutes of exercise.
2. 30-minutes reading a classic book.
3. Help my wife.
4. Help one person outside of my home.
5. Plan for the next day.
6. Control my eating.
7. Not allow myself to be interrupted by SNS
or my blackberry too much.
8. Focus one important thing for the day.
9. Not hurt someone by saying something bad or
insensitive
10. Praise someone
You’ve probably heard of this kind of list
from friends or seen it in movies like “The Bucket List” with Jack
Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Having your “lifetime 100 to-do list” can help
you live a more full life and your “daily 10 to-do list” can help you day by
day. But, having lists is not enough. You need one more thing if you really
want to achieve something on your daily life and lifetime – an accountability
partner.
Here is an example of what an accountability
partner means. Everyday at 10 pm I have a five-minute phone call with one of my
friends. The call is simple. We ask each other about the “daily to-do list” we’ve
shared beforehand and simply tell each other whether we fulfilled our 10 items
or not. In this case, the friend becomes your accountability partner.
I got this idea from an article where Marshall
Goldsmith, one of the best leadership coaches in the world, was interviewed.
The term “accountability partner” came to my attention in the article, which was written by
Natalie Houston.
Dr. Cialdini had said many times, “People need
to publicly commit in order to leverage the principle of consistency.” This can happen when trying to persuade
others and when persuading yourself. To better persuade yourself to do
something, you need to commit to that something publicly, and having an
accountability partner is an excellent way to do that.
So, why don’t you grab a pencil and notebook,
and start to develop your top 10 things you must do every day. Next, find your
accountability partner and commit to check-in with each other. It may sound
simple but, if you DO it daily, you will improve your life and experience more
happiness and joy.
Hoh Kim, CMCT®
Founder & Head Coach, THE LAB h

This Post Might Just Save Your Life!

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This blog post might just save your life!
Well, not exactly. Truthfully, not even close. But you might be a little wiser
for having read it, so I hope you’ll stay with me for a moment and continue reading.
You might be wondering why I went with such a
sensationalized title. You could say it was manipulative, that I was just out
to get you to read, and you’d be right. So why is a guy who blogs about ethical
persuasion using a manipulative tactic? Simply to make this point – I’m so sick
of seeing manipulative headlines I decided to write about it. Here are some
that irritate me.
War on
Christmas – Did you know there was a battle raging this past December and
many soldiers lost their lives along with innocent civilians? This headline was
especially prevalent on Fox News over the holidays. My dad was in Viet Nam and
I’m willing to bet he and other veterans who’ve seen combat would not use the
word “war” to describe the tactics used by groups who are opposed to Christmas.
Obama
Declares War on the Citizens That Resist PPACA – Not only are we
having to defend our lives against the Christmas rebel soldiers, we have to
battle our own President! I saw this headline on LinkedIn. Again, the use of
the word “war.” Really, the government is firing bullets and lives are being
lost because of what Obama is doing? Please!
War on
Women
– I see this headline on Facebook a lot. I know women serve in the military and
now engage the enemy in combat but apart from that there’s no war on women.
Some people may be opposed to certain pieces of legislation but there’s no war.
Some of you are thinking this is no big deal. After
all we were taught, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never
hurt me.” I’d counter with, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” You clearly
know when you’re being physically assaulted but it’s not always so clear when
it’s a mental assault. Whether or not you’re aware, those headlines impact
people’s emotions and thinking and that’s exactly why the authors use the words
they do.
Frank Luntz wrote a book about this very
subject called Words that Work. Luntz
polls people for a living to find out which words resonate most so he can help
his clients with their messaging. As you begin to pay attention to word choice
you can quickly tell which side of the issue a presenter is on. Let’s take a
look at a couple of good examples.
Illegal
Aliens vs. Undocumented Workers – Illegal is bad because it’s breaking the
law. When we think of aliens it typically conjures up images of beings we must
defeat before they take over our planet. Together “illegal aliens” builds a
negative image and negative emotions. It leads to zealous thinking along the
lines of, “We don’t want those illegal aliens in our country!”
On the other hand “undocumented” isn’t so bad.
It makes it sound like someone lost his or her paperwork. That could happen to
anyone. Workers aren’t bad either. We need more good workers in this country
and we esteem a good work ethic. Together we have “undocumented workers” which
creates a different mental picture and softer emotions. If we can get the
proper paperwork they could help this country immensely because quite often
they’re willing to do jobs the average citizen doesn’t want to do.
But let’s be clear; in the end both sides are
talking about the very same thing. However, the word choice each uses builds
different mental images and those mental images are designed to arouse completely
different emotions. Both are trying to get us to form very different opinions
on the same issue.
Death
Tax vs. Estate Tax – This is another great example. No one likes to pay taxes but
there’s a spectrum on which people fall when it comes to taxes. Some would like
to pay as little as possible and damn the consequences. Others see taxes as
necessary to build a strong society and infrastructure. The real question is
what word will we use with taxes.
Death is not a good image no matter how you
present it. Very few people want to die but when they do the last thing they
want to think about is the government reaching into their casket for one last
money grab. You mean even in death we can’t escape taxation? Outrage!
When you hear the word “estate” what do you
think of? If you’re like most people you think about rich people because
they’re the only ones who can afford to live on sprawling estates. Why should
their millions, or hundreds of millions, be passed on to some greedy spoiled
kids who did nothing to build that fortune? Does the world need any more Paris
Hiltons or Kardashian girls? With that imagery many people say, “Heck yea, take
as much as you can so the rest of us don’t have to pay as much!”
Again, two sides talking about the same issue
– taxing people’s accumulated assets when they pass on – using very different
words. They want to arouse emotions and ultimately actions.
It’s not like Sgt. Joe Friday who used to say
in the television series Dragnet,
“Just the facts.” Watch Fox and MSNBC or CNN and you’ll think they’re from two
different planets despite talking about the same issues facing our country. Pay
close attention to the words used because there are many issues that impact each
of us – taxation, abortion, gun control, health care, etc. – and how we’re persuaded
to act will have to do in large part with how each side presents its case.
Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

How is Cool Influenced?

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I read an article questioning whether or not
Apple had lost, or is losing, its cool. Why should Apple be any less cool than
it was several years ago? After all, it’s the most valuable company in the
world at the moment. Is it because Steve Jobs and his dynamic, rebel
personality are gone? I’m not so sure about that because as an Apple user I
think the company’s products are fantastic and I’d imagine long time users
would say the products are better than ever.

As I started to ponder “cool,” it brought to
mind an episode from The Office in
which Michael Scott was trying to plan a celebration of his 15-year anniversary
with Dunder-Mifflin. To do this he enlisted the help of Jim, Pam and Dwight. At
one point during the brainstorming session Jim said of Dwight’s idea, “Now
you’re trying too hard and that’s just not cool.” Dwight responded, “Then I
guess I just don’t know what cool is.”
This begs the question, “What is cool?” I’m
dating myself with this reference but for those who grew up in the ‘70s one of
the icons of cool was Fonzie from the television show Happy Days. Fonzie was cool because he was so different from
Richie, Potsy, Ralph and the rest of the cast. Part of Apple being cool is that
it’s always been different than its competition. The tough part about that in
business is you never stay different for long.
Samsung’s Galaxy phone has many of the same
features the iPhone has and it has some things you can’t get with the iPhone
like the bigger screen. Marketing the bigger screen taps into the principle of scarcity. This principle of influence tells us people value things and want
them more when they’re less available, unique or different.
I believe scarcity goes to the heart of cool.
Fonzie was cool because he was different, a one of a kind. Part of the cool
factor for Apple is how it stays ahead of the curve with technology and usually
offers you something, or a package of things, you can’t get elsewhere.
Consider this question. If everyone had
dressed like Fonzie in Happy Days would
we have seen him as being so cool? Probably not. If everyone has an iPhone do
you think people will view it as being quite as cool as years ago? Probably not,
even if the technology is better.
Like beauty, cool is also relative. A
beautiful woman will not stand out as much when every woman is beautiful. If
you doubt that consider beauty pageants where every woman is a knockout but most
contestants quickly fad into the background as the pageant progresses. However,
those same women in your office, at the mall, or on the street would turn heads
because in those environments they’d stand out compared to the population in
general. That’s scarcity again, along with the compare and contrast phenomenon.
Much of cool’s scarcity comes in based on what
it’s compared to. Kids think they’re cool compared to their parents but within
the group of teens at school some of those same kids may not be considered cool
at all.
Ever notice how celebrities continually
reinvent themselves? Think Madonna, the queen of reinvention! Part of the
reason celebrities change so much is because their cool factor wears off as their
looks and character traits become more commonplace.
So how do you use this to be more influential?
Two areas to consider are you as an individual and your company.
When it comes to you on a personal level what
makes you unique compared to your peers and competition? I’ve seen people whose
signature is a bow tie and others who always wear colored shirts. Both stand
out in the world of dark suits, white shirts and regular ties. Remember, cool
is up to you to make. Being a “nerd” became cool after Revenge of the Nerds hit movie screens. All of a sudden being
really smart was cool if you could use that in ways to benefit others.
When it comes to promoting your company what
makes it stand apart from the competition? Does your business card look like
everyone else’s? Boring! Remember, if you do everything like the competition
then nothing stands out and you get no cool factor. In recent years many
insurance companies have gone from boring and bland to  much cooler through humorous ads. No longer do
people think of them as giant companies run by a bunch of grey–haired, middle-aged
men. They have a much younger, hip feel based on their ads now.
Whether it’s you personally or your company it
comes down to this; take time to consider your uniqueness. Can you combine that
with your strengths and passion to stand apart from your peers? If you can
leverage that you’ll gain some cool and probably more customers because
everyone loves cool.

Brian, CMCT®
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Scientifically Proven Way to Be Persuasive

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The following is an excerpt from Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, co-authored by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., Noah Goldstein, Ph.D., and Steve Martin. I wrote this several years ago, prior to becoming a certified trainer for Dr. Cialdini. I looked at what State Auto had to offer that was genuinely scarce, then honestly described it in a marketing email and we got terrific results. I hope it stimulates ideas for you to do something similar.

One of my responsibilities is to help recruit new independent agencies to represent our company. In our effort to do this, we sent marketing materials to prospective agencies so they could learn more about us. While we hope most agents read our communications, seldom did we receive any direct replies.

After learning about the principle of scarcity we realized we were missing out on an opportunity that had been right in front of us all along! We don’t do business in every state, and each year we set a modest goal for appointing new agents in our operating areas. We never thought to incorporate those facts, or our current progress, into the communications we were sending.

Understanding how scarcity can move people to action, we began to include something like this near the end of our communications: “Each year we have a goal of selecting just a few new agencies to partner with us. For 2006 that number was set at only 42 agencies across our 28 operating states, and so far we’ve appointed more than 35. It’s our sincere hope that your agency will be one of those remaining agencies we appoint before year end.”

The difference was noticeable immediately! Within days we began to receive inquiries. No extra cost, no new marketing campaigns, no product or system changes needed. The only change was adding three more sentences that contain true statements.

What does your company have that is scarce and can’t be gotten elsewhere? It may be that your uniqueness comes not through one feature but a combination of features. Your challenge as a persuader is to identify that combination of unique features then honestly inject them into your communications. Will you hear “Yes” every time? No, but it’s a sure bet you’ll hear that magic word more than you are today. I confidently assert that because science tells me so and our experience bore that out to be true.

Brian, CMCT®
influencePEOPLE
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.