Tag Archive for: Cialdini

Personality Types and Decision Influencers – A Short Survey

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A few weeks ago I posted an article called Influence Approaches for Different Personality Styles. It was my most read blog post to date so I decided to follow it up with something different, a reader survey.

In that article I mentioned there were no scientific studies on the relationship between personality types and influence approaches. What I shared was my personal opinion on which principles of influence I thought would be best to use with the different personality styles. The lack of information got me thinking more about the subject so I decided to gather my own data. But, in order to do so I need your help.

I’d like you to read the general personality descriptions below, decide which best describes you, and then click on the associated link to take a 10 question multiple choice survey. While no description will fit you perfectly choose the one that you think best represents you.

A. You thrive on challenges and have a strong internal motivation to succeed. You’re practical and very focused on getting results. You get lots accomplished very quickly. You talk faster than most people and you’re direct and to the point. You’re often viewed as decisive. Words that describe you include: action-orientated, decisive, problem solver, direct, assertive, demanding, risk taker, forceful, competitive, independent, determined and results-orientated. This is the pragmatic/driver personality. If this describes you, click here to take the survey.

B. You are very outgoing and enthusiastic, with a high energy level. You’re an idea person, but usually struggle to see ideas through to completion. You enjoy helping others and enjoy socializing. You are usually slow to reach a decision. People often think of you of as a talker, dramatic and impulsive. Words that describe you include: verbal, motivating, enthusiastic, convincing, impulsive, influential, charming, confident, dramatic, optimistic and animated. This is the influencer/expressive personality type. If this describes you, click here to take the survey.

C. You are dependable, loyal and easygoing. You like things that are non-threatening and friendly. You don’t like dealing with impersonal details or cold hard facts. Usually you’re quick to reach a decision. People often describe you as a warm person and sensitive to the feelings of others. Words that describe you include: patient, loyal, sympathetic, team person, relaxed, mature, supportive, stable, considerate, empathetic, persevering, trusting and congenial. This describes the facilitator/amiable individual. If this describes you, click here to take the survey.

D. You are known for being systematic, well organized and deliberate. You appreciate facts and information presented logically. You enjoy organization and completion of detailed tasks. Others may see you as being cautious, very structured, someone who adopts a rule oriented approach to life. Words that describe you include: controlled, orderly, precise, disciplined, deliberate, cautious, diplomatic, systematic, logical and conventional. This describes the thinker/analytic. If this describes you, click here to take the survey.

Each survey question will put you in a different situation and ask which of the three responses would be the biggest factor in you saying “Yes” to a request. While each potential answer might factor into your decision to one degree or another please choose the one you think would most impact your decision.

If you want to take the survey please do so before June 30th. That’s when I’ll close the survey and begin to analyze the data. Look for a July post where I’ll share the results. Thanks for taking a few minutes to participate; I appreciate your help on this project.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Helping Teens Balance Peer Pressure and Authority Figures

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A week ago Abigail graduated from the 8th grade. To most people that’s not a big deal, unless you happen to be a parent. Like most things kids do – sports, school plays, and moving on to the next grade – they’re not terribly significant events in and of themselves but they help shape who we are and who we become.

What’s significant about Abigail’s situation is that entering high school next year will be a HUGE change, much more than for the typical kid. You see, she’s gone to the same school her whole life, Polaris Christian Academy, with basically the same group of friends. There were only a dozen kids in her class and just four girls including Abigail.In the fall she’ll attend Westerville South High School which means she goes from the small, private Christian school environment to the huge public school; from a tiny class to one that will have more than 400! And did I mention that none of the kids she knows will go to her new school? It could make for a lonely, difficult time.In early May she posted on Facebook, “Another awards chapel were im the only one left in my row, 9 yrs of that, hmm getting kinda tired of it :/” As a parent, seeing something like that breaks my heart. Consensus, that desire to be a part of the crowd, is an incredibly strong psychological force, especially for kids. Not being a part of the group is tough for kids because they’re fighting physical pain when they’re excluded from a group. That’s right, being excluded from a group registers in the brain as physical pain! Watch this short video of Dr. Robert Cialdini as he explains this interesting scientific finding.So how’s a parent to deal with this? I believe there’s potentially good and bad in everything. Some “good” things become bad when we abuse them and some “bad” things turn out to be good for us if we deal with them the right way. As a parent one of my responsibilities is to help Abigail learn this truth so she can overcome obstacles and enjoy life to the fullest.All of this started me thinking and I noticed something about her personality. While all her friends were doing things together when they were younger Abigail worked for four years to earn her black belt in taekwondo. When her girlfriends all went out for cheerleading she didn’t because it wasn’t for her. When they all played basketball over the winter she passed to play club volleyball where she didn’t know anyone. While her friends were all on stage for the plays the last few years Abigail decided she’d rather be backstage working the lights.After thinking about this I told Abigail I was proud of her. She didn’t quite get it but I explained that she showed strength of character to be okay with not being a part of everything everyone else did. If she can deal with not partaking in the fun activities her friends were doing and if she can deal with the feelings of being singled out because she didn’t get awards when most other kids were recognized then I have confidence she’ll be her own person as she takes this big step in life and moves into a totally foreign environment in high school. On a similar note; several years ago while at camp Abigail didn’t finish all her food so the camp counselor said she’d have to sing in front of the other campers. She doesn’t like to sing so she dug her heels in and said she wouldn’t and despite the fact that her mom was sitting there watching, and embarrassed I might add, Abigail didn’t give in.Again, I saw this as a learning opportunity. After that incident I told Abigail that mom shared the story with me about what happened and that I was proud of her. She had a hard time understanding that one too. I explained that she shouldn’t just do what everyone asks her to, or tells her to, and that the camp incident was good training. I followed that up by telling her she’d have to accept the consequences that come with saying “No” to people and there would certainly be consequences for saying no to an authority like a teacher.I hope you see where I’m going with this. As I wrote earlier, consensus can be a powerful psychological force at work on us and sometimes it can lead us to do things we ought not to. By the same token authority is a powerful influence as well. Sometimes we do things because someone we perceive to be an authority tells us to. Part of learning to navigate life as an independent adult is knowing whom to say “Yes” to and whom to say “No” to.
So here’s my encouragement to those of you who are parents. Understanding how the principles of influence can be used against you or your kids is just as important as learning how to ethically use them. Talk to your kids about this because it will give them the tools necessary to make better, more informed choices. You’ll be glad you did.
Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Swept Along on the Highway of Life

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I was driving into work not long ago and came across what I thought was a metaphor for life. I hit the road early, shortly before 7 a.m. on a beautiful spring morning to get a head start on my day. There was not a cloud in the sky, but there was a little chill in the air, and as I made my way east on the outer-belt I was struck by the fact that there were very few cars on the road. Seeing that made me glad I’d decided to head to the office early. Unlike some major cities, Columbus traffic isn’t bad at all if you leave a little earlier than normal. When I do that I can make it from my driveway to the State Auto parking lot, nearly a 15-mile journey; in 20 minutes or less if there are no accidents or road construction.

As I enjoyed my coffee, alone with my thoughts, I noticed there were cars well behind me and some a good distance in front. Like most people I don’t quite adhere to the speed limit so I was going about 70 mph in a 65 mph zone. The further I drove the more I noticed the cars behind me continuing to gain on me until all of a sudden I was surrounded by cars.

I don’t know about you but I tend to keep pace with traffic almost unconsciously. In this case, before I realized it I was actually going 80 mph! As I shared, like most people I flirt with speeds just above the speed limit but usually not 15 mph so once I recognized what I was doing I slowed down and boy was I glad I did because a few moments later I saw a highway patrol car join us on the drive.
After giving quick thanks for slowing down and avoiding a possible ticket I began to analyze the situation. Only after the fact did I realize how I was being swept along on the highway of life. The principle of influence that was at work on me is known as consensus, sometimes called social proof. This psychological principle describes the human tendency to look towards many other people, or people we see as similar to ourselves, for clues about how to act in certain situations.
Despite knowing the speed limit many of us don’t adhere to it and a big reason we don’t is because we observe so many others not obeying the law. And, sometimes in doing so we find ourselves doing things we might not do in the absence of other people. Case in point, I was perfectly content with my 70 mph speed until other cars surrounded me traveling much faster. It wasn’t even a conscious choice to speed up but before I knew it I had.

This applies to much more than just the highway. You might be reading this feeling a bit of pride because you don’t change your driving habits based on the habits of other drivers but there are many ways consensus might be at work on you:

  • Do you stand during standing ovations…even when you didn’t like the performance? Most people do.
  • Does your dress conform to those around you? If you doubt it just loo
    k at some old photos and you might be hit with this thought, “What was I thinking when I wore that outfit?”
  • Have you ever tried a restaurant dish because, “It’s our most popular menu item”? Part of reason the dish remains so popular is that little phrase used by the server.
  • If you’ve had a question have you ever held it until a few others asked questions first? It’s amazing how group dynamics change after one person breaks the ice.
These are all simple ways we’re influenced by the actions of others, the power of the crowd. Some people call it good etiquette; others call it being polite or good manners. However you label it it’s still the same because we’re unconsciously driven to do things and act in ways because of how we observe others.
This isn’t a bad thing. In fact, most of the time following the actions of others has very good consequences for us. We feel a sense of belonging, we are more readily accepted into groups and we avoid conflict. However, there are times when it can lead us astray and have very bad consequences.
  • Excessive speeding can be dangerous to us and others.
  • For teens, wanting to fit in can lead to bad choices when it comes to drinking, drugs and sex.
  • Following the crowd at work because “everybody does it” can cost you your job.
Most of the time I’m trying to get you to see ways to ethically use influence and persuasion to hear “Yes!” This week I encourage you to take time and reflect on why you’re doing some of the things you’re doing. Do you really want to do them or are you feeling internal pressure to conform? Are the choices you’re making in your best interests or are they to please some group? There are people out there who understand influence and persuasion but their intent isn’t ethical, it’s one sided for their benefit. If you’ll pay attention as you’re swept along on the highway of life you’ll retain control of where you go, when you want to go and the path you’ll take to get there.
Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

Influence Approaches for Different Personality Styles

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Last year I started holding bi-monthly lunch ‘n learn sessions for people who’d been through my Principles of Persuasion workshops. During our time together we discuss different aspects of influence and people participate in interactive exercises to help keep their influence skills sharp. The group is usually 30-40 managers and supervisors from different departments at State Auto. A couple of weeks ago I co-lead a session along with Mike Rau, a State Auto manager, where we talked about strategies for influencing different personality types.

Now I have to tell you up-front; to my knowledge there are no scientific studies on which principles of influence have the most impact on different personality styles. What I’m going to share is my personal opinion based on experience, my understanding of the principles of influence and more than 15 years in sales training.

The chart below, or something similar, might be familiar to those of you who’ve taken different personality tests over the years. It’s a simple way to categorize people based on their orientation. It looks at whether individuals are more task-oriented vs. people-oriented on the vertical axis. The horizontal axis determines whether people are more oriented towards taking fast action, telling people what to do and controlling others vs. people who are inclined to be slower to act, and ask more questions rather than directing people.

Ask – Slower
Control Self		 Task-Oriented
 Tell –
Faster
Control Others
Thinker
Analytical		 Pragmatic
Driver
Facilitator
Amiable		 Influencer
Expressive

People-Oriented
Across the population spectrum about 25% of people fall into each category. Below are the different personality styles, some traits associated with each and bullet points for the principles of influence that should be most impacting. The goal here is to give you a quick reference to fall back on when it’s obvious someone has a strong orientation in one of these four personality areas.

Pragmatic/Driver: Example – Jack Welch former CEO of GE. The pragmatic wants quick results, gets to the point, task-oriented, more controlling of others, acts first then thinks, assertive, risk taker. The best principles of influence when dealing with this personality type would be:

  • Authority – They may not care what the crowd says but prove your point with the opinion or experience of an expert or someone they respect or admire, and they’ll listen.
  • Scarcity – Drivers are successful because they win! Show them what they might lose if they don’t do what you’re asking and you’ll grab their attention.
  • Consistency – Their self-confidence makes them believe they’re right so they might seem like they stubbornly hold to an opinion. If you can tie your request to what they’ve said or done in the past your odds of success will go up.

Influencer/Expressive: Example – Oprah Winfrey. The influencer is focused on social groups and events, more in tune with people than tasks, imaginative, usually sway others, and likes innovation. The best way to engage these individuals would be using the following principles of influence:

  • Sarcity – Influencers don’t want to lose out on opportunities to move people to action. Talk about how they might lose an opportunity and you’ll have a good chance of hearing “Yes!”
  • Reciprocity – They understand how engaging with favors helps because they frequently use that tactic when they persuade. Do something for them and they’ll try to return the favor to build their network.
  • Liking – Expressive people are talkers and quite often like to talk about themselves. Pay a genuine compliment or ask about something they’re into and they appreciate you for taking interest.

Facilitator/Amiable: Example – Sandra Bullock. Facilitators like stable relationships, focus on feelings, less assertive, more people-focused, slow to change, and wants product support. The psychology of persuasion to utilize for this group would be:

  • Consensus – Because they’re so likable and want everyone to get along showing them what many others are already doing will help your case.
  • Liking – They naturally like others and want to be liked so use liking to come to know them and like them and you’ll increase your chance to influence.
  • Reciprocity – Giving small gifts, time, effort, etc. conveys thoughtfulness to the facilitator and will likely be returned in kind.

Thinker/Analytical: Example – Albert Einstein. Thinkers are task-oriented, slower to act, exert self-control, less assertive, data-oriented, prudent, systematic, logical, look to track records/trends. When dealing with this type of person you should look to use the following principles of influence:

  • Authority – Because they think long and hard about things they place a high premium on expert advice.
  • Consistency – Again, because they think before they act they take their words and actions seriously. Tap into what they’ve said or done in the past to make your point.
  • Consensus – The thinker will play the odds and find safety in numbers. Tell them what many others are doing when building your case.

As I wrote earlier, none of this is scientifically proven but I believe it make lots of sense and is fairly easy to remember. Too often people learn about personality styles but do nothing with that knowledge so I encourage you to give it a try next time you find yourself in a situation where it’s very clear the type of person you’re dealing with. Do so and I think you’ll find it a little easier to persuade them and ultimately hear “Yes!”
Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Copyblogger Uses Social Proof to Build Readership

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Last month my friend Mike Figliuolo of thoughtLEADERS sent me a blog post he thought I’d enjoy. It was on the heels of my first anniversary writing Influence PEOPLE. The blog post was called, “The 8 Habits of Highly Effective Bloggers.” If you’re into blogging you might want to check it out.

As I read the post I felt good about how I’d approached writing this blog. But the real take way for me had to do with something other than Copyblogger’s content; it was their effective use of a principle of influence that caught my eye. Take a look at the picture below and see if you pick up on what I saw.

Depending on how good your eyesight is you might have been able to pick out three things that effectively tapped into the principle of consensus. This psychological principle tells us people are often swayed by the crowd. When we see many others doing something we take that as a clue that it might be the right thing to do. So how did Copyblogger effectively use the psychology of persuasion to their advantage?

First, near the upper left of the website there’s a section where you can sign up for email updates. No big deal, that’s pretty standard. Where they leveraged consensus was by letting you know there are 109,922 subscribers. My frame of reference; more people read Copyblogger each week than attend an Ohio State football game!
Second, just below the email area there’s the little blue Twitter bird. There you’ll see 51,917 people follow Copyblogger on Twitter. More praise for Copyblogger because that large number will motivate more people to become followers on Twitter.

Third was something that might not have stood out quite as much. On the right hand side of the page is a section with popular articles. Knowing those are some of the more popular posts will get people to read them just like more people order the most popular dishes at restaurants. In addition, immediately after the two articles you can see the numbers 174 and 120. If more than 100 people are commenting on these articles doesn’t that make you just a little curious why they’re commenting and what they’re saying? I’d say that’s subtle, yet strategic use of consensus to keep people looking at the site.

In each case Copyblogger could have omitted the numbers but they’d lose out on opportunities because those numbers will cause more people to take action in way that will increase readership. Now, having shared that, there are times when you want to leave the numbers out because they can work against you. For example, what do you think a first time visitor to Copyblogger would have concluded if they only had 100 subscribers or 50 Twitter followers? That might actually work against people deciding to become subscribers or followers. Also, if the numbers are low on comments people might not bother to look at those older posts.

What does this mean for you? As a general rule; if your numbers are not high then don’t show them because you could be shooting yourself in the foot. I’ve seen this with a feature on many websites that lets you know how many people are attending a particular event. I outlined this last year in an article I called “Make Your Next Event the One Everybody Attends.” What constitutes a large number will vary depending on many things. For example, 15 people attending an event is not many but if there are only 20 seats available it’s a large number by comparison. Showing that number will also invoke the principle of scarcity because only a few seats are left so sharing 15 in that context could be very persuasive.

So remember, consensus can work for you or against you depending on the situation. Make sure you’re thinking how your audience will perceive the numbers you share and you’ll probably do just fine. Of course, referring back to this article would be a smart move too.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

When Setting Sales Goals Always…

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I’m a big Jeffrey Gitomer fan. If you’ve read my blog for long then you’ve probably seen his picture and read some of his quotes. I find his writing style unique, entertaining and most importantly, educational. I’ve used his material in my sales training and frequently recommend his books. I also put my money where my mouth is because I own all of his books. Yup, I have the Little Red Book, Little Black Book, Little Gold Book…I have all those Little Books. And I own a copy of The Sales Bible. It’s not the leather bound, King James edition with my name engraved in gold, but it’s worth its weight in gold…if you do the things Gitomer suggests.

I think I’ve painted a clear picture; I’m a Gitomer disciple. But, even though he wrote The Sales Bible and I’m a disciple, I recognize Gitomer is human and makes mistakes just like all of us. Some of you who are his followers might be shouting at me through your PC, “Blasphemy! Away with him!” Please read on before you excommunicate me.

Several weeks ago, in his weekly Sales Ezine he posed the following question about goal setting, “When setting goals in sales, you should always:”

A. Write them down and tell others.

B. Reward yourself when you reach them.

C. Make them reasonable.

D. Never set them too

While there is some validity to each answer, I chose answer A, “write them down and tell others,” because that’s a proven method for success and therefore holds the most potential. In fact, out of more than 4,000 responses, 60% of people made the same choice that I did. However, to my surprise Jeffrey’s “correct” answer was B, reward yourself.
I won’t dispute that for some people a reward might help them stay the course and achieve their sales goals. It might be personally more motivating for Jeffrey because he’s a highly self-motivated individual. Unfortunately I don’t think the same can be said for the majority of salespeople let alone people in general. The research in social science is very clear; the principle of consistency is a HUGE motivator for people to follow through on prior commitments. Because people feel an internal pressure to do what they say, making goals public will help many more people reach those goals as compared to others who set goals but keep them private. In Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book Influence Science and Practice, in the chapter on Commitment and Consistency, a study by Morton Deutsch and Harold Gerard is cited on this very subject. Results from their study were clear, “students who had publicly recorded their initial positions most resolutely refused to shift from those positions later.”

Organizations that try to get people to change bad habits (over-eating, smoking, etc.) have taken advantage of the principle of consistency by having people make public commitments then sharing those commitments, with friends and family. Here’s a simple rule to remember; people live up to what they write down.One more way to increase the odds of reaching your goal would be to incorporate the principle of scarcity as opposed to rewarding yourself. A reward is a nice thing but too often we can forgo rewards and not feel bad. However, when we think we’ll lose something, research has found our motivation changes rather dramatically. How can you incorporate scarcity? Try putting $100 of your own money on the line. Go to the bank, get a nice crisp $100 bill and give it to a trusted friend. Tell your friend, “Look, I have a goal I really want to meet. If I don’t meet the goal you have my permission to give the money to [name a charity]. But, if I meet my goal you have to give me my $100 back.” That’s a win-win because if you succeed that’s great. If you don’t, a worthy cause benefits.

So here’s the deal; whatever you choose to do, if you truly want to succeed, start by setting a goal. But don’t stop there, write out your goal then make it known to others. By doing this you’ll take advantage of the principle of consistency because it’s in your nature to begin with. Then ramp it up a bit by putting something of value on the line. Oh yes, and when you reach your goal, take Jeffrey’s advice and reward yourself with the cash you got back because you’ll have earned it.

Influencers from Around the World – Scarcity at Italian Weddings

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This month’s Influencers from Around the World post is from my friend Marco Germani. Marco is from Rome, Italy, and will be sharing an interesting story about persuasion and Italian weddings. The wedding photos are from Marco and Monika’s wedding last summer. They’re expecting their first child this summer. I’m sure Marco would love to hear from you so reach out to him on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.
Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

Scarcity at Italian Weddings
I recently tried an interesting application of the principle of scarcity at the wedding of a couple of friends here in Rome, where I live. It is common practice in Italy that, when a wedding takes place, beside the “official” photographer of the event, a “clandestine” photographer magically shows up outside from the church. This guy, with no authorization at all, takes pictures of all the guests as they are entering the place, asking them to pose for him and playing on the fact that they don’t really know whether he is the official photographer or not. He then takes a quick picture of the bride and groom at the very beginning of the ceremony and then rushes to a mobile photo studio parked in the back of the church, to very quickly create nice cardboard-framed pictures of each guest, close to the picture of their newly-married friends.
When the celebration ends, the fellow waits for the guests to exit the church and, one by one, propose them to buy his newly-made artwork, usually for a price of about 8 Euro. As strange as it might appear, this technique works wonders and these guys usually sell almost every picture they’ve taken. The reasons being that people see in front of them a picture of themselves, nicely carved in a paperboard frame and close to the picture of the bride and groom and, for the principle of reciprocation, enhanced by the surprise (most people don’t go to weddings every day and are not aware of this technique) feel a certain compulsion to buy and to pay the overpriced amount. I have to add these pictures are after all a nice souvenir of the event, so I am not against this service, even though I think it is presented in a questionable way.
Being aware of how the principle of scarcity works, during the specific event I recently attended, I decided to try and use it at my own advantage. When the photographer proposed selling the picture to me, I kindly declined and moved away from him. I then waited for him to complete all the sales and, when he was done, I approached him again. At this point, he had in his hands only a few pictures of people who didn’t buy and those pictures were absolutely worthless for him, probably ready for the dustbin. I told him I was still thinking about buying the picture but that I thought the price was too high. He immediately proposed me a price of five Euro. At this point, I casually pulled out from my pocket four one Euro coins (which I had previously prepared) and told him I only happened to have four Euro in coins, would that do for him? He grabbed the coins in a split second, gave me the framed picture and we were both happy campers!
Now, I have to specify that, having a friend who works in photography, he previously explained to me that the cost to print the picture, for the photographer, should have been around two Euro, so, considering myself an ethical persuader, it was my duty to offer a price which also included a reasonable profit margin for the “smart” photographer, granting me the best buying price at the same time.
Marco

A Different Perspective Can Make All the Difference

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Most of us are creatures of habit. That’s one big reason the principles of influence are so effective at helping you hear “Yes!” when making requests of others. We cruise along on autopilot most of the time painstakingly doing whatever we can to avoid thinking.

One automatic thing most adults do every day is drive to work. I’ve heard people say sometimes they get in the car and before they know it they’re at work. The scary thing is they don’t remember anything about the drive! As fate would have it, I don’t have that luxury till the end of May or beginning of June, depending on how efficient the Ohio Department of Transportation is at completing some highway repairs in downtown Columbus. During the repairs I have to find a new way into work.Is this a pain? Somewhat, because I have to leave earlier than normal, take a different route and contend with many other drivers doing the same thing. But it’s not all bad. I was convicted by my own words because each morning I tell myself, “This is the day the Lord has made so I will be happy and rejoice in it. Today will be a good day because I will approach everything with a positive attitude and I will learn from every situation.”
So I made the choice to be positive and to learn something. As I drove one day I decided not to just follow the same alternate route so I got off at an exit I’d never used in 20 years of working downtown. What struck me as I got off the highway was how completely different the city looked from this new vantage point. I was faced with some old, very cool looking buildings when I came to the stop sign. As I turned left I saw what looked like an old warehouse building and found myself wondering what went on in that building over the years. Then I turned left and drove below an overpass and saw Columbus State Community College from an angle I’d never seen it from before. As all of this was occurring I thought, “This is really cool scenery. I’d enjoy it if I saw these sites every day.” I was also struck by how different everything was so I decided I’d write about it. What does this mean for you when it comes to influence? Sometimes trying to gain someone else’s perspective can go a long way when it comes to influence. As I pondered this I thought about the election of Barack Obama. Please don’t comment on politics because what I’m about to share has nothing to do with politics. For whatever reason, the drive in and thinking about perspective brought me back to the day after the election. That day I emailed my best friend Russell Barrow, an African-American, and simply asked, “Did you ever think you’d see this in your lifetime?” I got an incredibly heartfelt reply back telling me how much pride he felt. I tried to put myself in his shoes and as I did I saw things differently. I really believe if more people would do that rather than simply retain their perspective and defend their position more dialog would happen and more things could get accomplished.

Imagine I’m holding up my right hand with my palm towards me and finger nails towards you. If someone asked us to describe what we see our descriptions would be very different. I’d say my thumb is on my right but you’d say it’s on your left. I’d describe finger prints while you talked about finger nails. I’d comment on the lines in my palm and you’d be talking about the veins and hair you see on the back of my hand. These are two very different descriptions that could lead to some disputes. However, if we changed our perspectives we get a more complete picture and can find things to agree on. The more you and I find to agree on the easier it becomes to find mutually beneficial solutions to more pressing issues.Some of you may say this is this a bit simplistic and I’d agree. But I’d contend that life’s not always as complicated as we might think it is. Spouses could use some simplicity – just love each other, do what’s in the best interest of the other person and trust they’ll do the same. Parents would do well do just tell their kids how much they love them and to set aside their priorities to spend time with kids. At work, just do your best, quit grumbling but also give honest feedback when necessary. Yea, it’s all simple stuff but simple stuff that could make life a whole lot easier and nicer for so many of us.So here’s the take away – try to change your perspective on something or someone after you read this. Make yourself see things in a new, fresh way and see how that impacts your thoughts, attitude and conversations. If you do this I think others will sense it, appreciate it and open up to you.Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

The First Anniversary of Influence PEOPLE

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It was just over a year ago, April 17 to be exact, that I started this blog. I still remember talking with my friend George Black about social media and he mentioned the eblogger tool. As we continued to talk I clicked on the eblogger icon and all of a sudden I’d taken the first step of this journey.

In that first post I wrote, “I’m passionate about influence and persuasion so it’s only natural that I share that passion with all of you.” I’ve only grown more passionate about it over the past year and have expanded how I communicate that passion. Some of you might see my Twitter or Facebook updates. I recently started a Facebook fan page call Influence PEOPLE. I also host a LinkedIn group called … Influence PEOPLE. If that’s not enough, daily I record influence tips at CinchCast. One goal for 2010 is to start doing some video blog posts but for now all these other social media tools are keeping me quite busy!

By every measure this first year has exceeded my wildest expectations, and then some. In a year’s time people in more than 100 countries have taken time to read what I write! That statistic excites me more than any other because it makes me feel like I’m having an impact on the world. Here are the countries where people have clicked in from:

Antigua & Barbuda, Argentina, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belgium, Bermuda, Bolivia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Egypt, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jersey, Jordan, Kenya, Kuwait, Laos, Latvia, Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova, Morocco, Myanmar [Burma], Netherlands, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Pakistan, Palestinian Territories, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saint Lucia, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tanzania, Thailand, Trinidad & Tobago, Turkey, U.S. Virgin Islands, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, Venezuela, Vietnam, Yemen and Zimbabwe.

Speaking of the world, I can’t leave out Sean Patrick, Marco Germani, Yago de Marta and Hoh Kim. These guys have generously volunteered to help you get a worldwide perspective on influence and my relationships with them are primarily because of this blog. You’ll want to check out the Influencers from Around the World articles they’ll be sharing on the first Monday of every month.

And here are a few locals who’ve been tremendously helpful. I mentioned George Black in the opening paragraph, a terrific person. There’s also Mike Figliuolo who’s been my “go to” guy for any blogging questions I’ve had. By allowing me to write some guest posts for his blog, thoughtLEADERS, and writing some for Influence PEOPLE, Mike really helped me build my readership. And thanks to Micheal Franzese for the cool drawings you see sometimes. Take a look at his blog FranzeseInklings for more art work.

Then there are my friends on Twitter who retweet my stuff consistently: James Sims, Marcy Depew, Matt Fox, Kennon Fort, Maureen Metcalf, Anthony Iannarino, Paul Hebert, Aaron Schaub, Steve Miller , Warren Davies and Jon Wortman. If I left anyone off the list I apologize (I’m starting to sound like I won an Oscar!) If you want to follow any of them on Twitter just click on their name.Special thanks also need to go to several coworkers. First there’s Debbie Conkel who has proofread my work for about 15 years now. She looks over every one of these articles for me. Then there’s my boss John Petrucci who’s has been supportive in every way imaginable. Last but not least, there’s Nancy Edwards who encourages me every time we talk or email.And there’s feedback from readers. When I see comments posted or get emails like the ones below it makes my day!

  • “I really liked the post you made for this week. It really hit home with me since I too have a teenager at home and have gone thru the same scenarios. I will be sharing this with other parents and will be practicing myself to be a good example for him.”
  • “Brian, I continue to value your posts. I started taking your advice several years ago and open an appointment first thing each morning to review the Dale Carnegie principle of the day.”
  • “The best thing I ever did was sign up for your emails. Yes it takes me from my daily work but it normally brings a smile to my face or a little giggle, and we all need that!”
  • “I value you as an expert. Your advice has me constantly thinking outside the box. There is validity to your stories that you share. As a Product Sales Specialist I have implemented some of your advice which resulted in a positive outcome.”

Now this anniversary wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t thank the most important people; my wife, Jane, and daughter, Abigail. I write about them quite a bit and they’re great sports, especially Jane because I posted her photo in a bathing suit once. She emailed to tell me that wasn’t a good thing to do and I replied that I was just happy she was reading the blog!

So from me to all of you, thank you for taking the time to read and for allowing me to have some influence on your lives. I hope I enjoy this second year even more than the first and that you get even more from your time with me.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”

BlogTalkRadio Interview on the Principles of Influence

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Have you ever had the sense you were right where you were supposed to be doing exactly what you were meant to do? Some people refer to it as hitting your stride, being in the flow or self-actualization. Whatever term you use to describe it, that’s where I was last Wednesday at noon and I’m honored that I have the chance to share that wonderful experience with all of you.

Many of you know I was interviewed on BlogTalkRadio, the guest of the group Inside Influencers. I’m thankful I was given this opportunity by Paul Hebert, Managing Director of I2I, a validation and incentive planning/consulting company. Paul is also the author of the blog Incentive Intelligence. He’s had a keen interest in the psychology of persuasion ever since we met back in the summer of 2004 when Dr. Robert Cialdini was the guest speaker at State Auto. Through chance, or perhaps fate, Paul and I reconnected when he found me on the Internet because of Influence PEOPLE.
The hour long discussion focused on the application of the Principles of Influence in everyday situations at work and home. We started off by touching on each of the six principles: reciprocity, liking, consensus, authority, consistency and scarcity. In addition we explored when are the best times to use each principle, the difference between influence and manipulation, and then we got into some real world application of the principles. If you’d like to hear the interview click here.

Brian
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes!”