Tag Archive for: reciprocity

A Good Way to Spend a day in November

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This month’s guest post comes from South Korea’s
Hoh Kim. I met Hoh in early 2008 when we went through the Cialdini Method
Certified Trainer® training week together. In addition to his CMCT® Hoh
also has his masters in communication from Marquette University. Find out more
about Hoh by visiting his website, TheLab h, and his blog, Cool Communications.
I encourage you to reach out to him on LinkedIn, Facebook
and Twitter.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
A good way to spend a day in November
In December 2012, the Harvard Business Review published an interesting article titled “Your
Company’s History as a Leadership Tool,” by John T. Seaman Jr. and George David
Smith. In the article, there was a story about how Kraft Foods successfully
managed “fierce resistance to the acquisition” from Cadbury’s, a British
confectioner.
Many employees of Cadbury worried about the
loss of their long and valuable tradition. First of all, Kraft Foods respected
the tradition of Cadbury, and started to look for what they had in common. Their
research uncovered “similarities” in both companies in terms of their quality
tradition, founding spirit of giving back to the communities, brand history,
etc. They kept promoting the similarities via a new intranet they called “Coming
Together.” They also used training sessions, speeches, press releases, and so
on, and it proved quite effective in reducing the fear from Cadbury employees.
Earlier this year, I attended a presentation
workshop in San Francisco. There was a slide indicating the 12 most persuasive
words in the English language. 11 persuasive words from the number two through 12 were: Money, Save, New, Results, Health, Easy, Safety, Love, Discover, Proven,
and Guarantee. What would be the number one? It was YOU.
The word YOU as the most persuasive word gives
us pretty good insight and the Kraft Food case shows the lesson in action. Kraft
first respected the Cadbury’s tradition (YOU), and started to find what the two
companies had in common which allowed them to start to building trust based on
similarities – the principle of liking.
If Kraft Foods simply focused on its agenda
without thinking much about Cadbury’s tradition and concerns, the results surely
would have been different. Stewart Diamond, author of Getting More, and a negotiation expert from the Wharton School of Business
at the University of Pennsylvania, says the other party at the negotiation
table is the most important party, then
comes you or me.
Another way to describe the importance of the
other person comes from one of my favorite quotes from John C. Maxwell, “People
don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Let me change
this quote a bit to a persuasion context – “People will not be influenced by
you until they know how much you care about them.”
One of my friends who just joined a new firm asked
me how he can increase his influential power within the company for years to
come. As a Cialdini Method Certified Trainer®, my answer was simple – “Do not focus on you.
Focus on others. The best way you can increase your long-term influence is to
help others whenever it is possible and as much as possible. When someone asks
you to help, that’s an opportunity to increase your influential power. Help
them. They will reciprocate sooner or later.”
As we approach year-end, here’s a way you can
apply the lesson during November. Fix a day in November when you don’t have any
appointments. Here’s what you need: 1) your calendar, whether it is a Google
calendar or your diary, showing your schedule in 2013; 2) 20-30 thank you cards
or nice blank paper; 3) your contact list. Review your schedule from January through
October 2013 and list the top 20-30 people you want to thank. Write a brief,
authentic letter to each and try to include a short story that shows why you’re
truly thankful for each person. Show them that you sincerely care about them.
That will make them feel nice and warm and they will again support and help you
whenever they can moving forward.
Of course, what’s more important is this:
Every day or every week, even for five minutes, whenever you find someone you
can truly help, approach them and help them. You might not get back the direct
benefit of reciprocity, but, some of them will help others as they received
help from you. That will make a world better place to live. Click here to watch a short
video that exemplifies this.
Hoh
Hoh Kim
Founder, Head Coach & Lead Facilitator,
THE LAB h
Address: THE LAB h, 15F. Kyobo Bldg. Jongno 1,
Jongno,
Seoul 110-714, Korea
E-mail: hoh.kim@thelabh.com
Phone: 82-2-2010-8828

Web:
www.THELABh.com

LinkedIn Endorsements: Reliable or BS?

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If you’re on LinkedIn then no doubt you’re
familiar with the relatively new feature where you can endorse someone for his
or her skills and expertise. This feature is akin to Facebook’s “Like” option.
Not too long ago I connected with someone on
LinkedIn who I’d previously had no interaction with whatsoever. The person
reached out to me because we shared a common interest.
Within hours of connecting he endorsed me for the following skills: management,
training, marketing, leadership, and business planning.
Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate someone
taking the time to endorse me but this struck me as odd because management and
business planning are far from some of my stronger skills. There are things I’m
much more skilled at, like persuasion, influence at all levels, coaching,
sales, and sales management to name a few.
So why did I get these endorsements? Several
reasons.
  • First, my profile is pretty robust and creates
    a good impression (authority).
  • Second, lots of other people have endorsed me
    (consensus).
  • Third, LinkedIn makes it easy to endorse me for lots of skills.

Now here’s the rub – a lot of the endorsements
are BS. I say that because of the last point I made. LinkedIn has made it so
easy to endorse people that it’s becoming meaningless. Recommendations are a
far better gauge of someone’s skills and expertise because they mean the
recommender has some direct experience with the person they’re recommending. Writing a recommendation takes more time and effort but didn’t our parents tell us things that take time
and effort are worth more? I have nearly 1,600 contacts and the vast majority
have never sat through my training, worked directly with me or even met me.

Another reason I think the endorsements are BS
is because LinkedIn suggests them. By default many people just go with most or
all of the listed skills even if they don’t have any real basis to make the
endorsement.
Finally, consensus becomes unreliable. For
example, my new contact endorsed me for management. It was suggested and now
that he’s endorsed me, as have others, it creates the impression that
management is one of my better skills. The more people that see that, the more they
will endorse me. Do you think that makes me skilled at management? I don’t.
Reciprocity
is yet another reason the endorsements should be taken with a grain of salt.
Many people feel obligated to return the favor after having been endorsed. I
visited my new contact’s home page when LinkedIn asked if he has the following
skills: management, marketing, business planning, economics and macroeconomics.
I don’t have any real idea and therefore can’t in good faith endorse him just
because of what’s on his LinkedIn page and the pull of reciprocity.
For all the reasons noted above, I rarely
endorse people. When I do, I do so because I have some basis for making the
endorsement, not because LinkedIn asks me to or because I feel obligated to
return the favor. I’ve actually declined to give recommendations when asked. I did so because I’d never worked directly with those people or even sat on a
committee with them. In other words, I had no basis for making the
recommendations.
If you’re considering hiring or doing business
with someone undoubtedly you’ll check out their LinkedIn home page. After all,
it’s the equivalent of a resume on steroids. When you notice their endorsed skills
and expertise, if any apply to why you may do business with them, then here’s my
simple suggestion: have several solid interview questions ready to help you
determine if they’re all they’re cracked up to be. In other words, caveat
emptor, buyer beware.
P.S. I went through my skills and endorsement
categories and removed all the ones I felt were not applicable.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Child-Like Influence

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It’s always a treat to hear from Australia’s only Cialdini Method Certified Trainer® Anthony McLean. Anthony is the founder of the Social Influence Consulting Group. I follow him on several social media sites (Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter) and can tell you he’s doing outstanding work! If you’re a parent you’ll really appreciate this week’s post.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT® 
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
Child-Like Influence
Have you ever watched a child walk into a new environment such as a park, a playground or even a new school and wondered at how quickly they are able to integrate into the group and make new friends? I have three children and have noticed that my youngest, Ryan, never has a problem making new friends. No matter where we go, he always ends up talking to or playing with someone new. My eldest, Samara, possessed this skill when she was younger but now as a pre-teen it doesn’t come that easily to her anymore. Why?
The thing that Ryan does that Samara has stopped doing is always being willing to make the first move (reciprocity). He will walk up to a child on a swing and say hello. If someone is playing on a climbing gym he will go and join in and mimic the climbing style until he can master the apparatus for himself. As an ever more self-aware pre-teen, Samara is less likely to take the first step to talk to someone new. Instead she will look around for those she already knows and in a new environment that is not always possible.  So she sits back and waits.
It is with this simple observation that I started to reflect on persuasion and why some people are successful at it while others find it harder. Now I’m not suggesting there is just one factor involved, but a fundamental tenant for success is that great persuaders are nearly always willing to go first.
Just like Ryan, they will take the first step to say hello to someone and not wait for someone to say hello to them. They will offer their services and invest in others, often without being asked, thereby commencing a relationship where none existed before. They will uncover the things they have in common with others and use this common ground to forge a new relationship.
As a child, I moved to different schools several times, once in primary and once in secondary school. Both times in a sea of unknown faces I knew I needed a friend, and that they must be out there. Without exception I look back on the friends I have made in life and realize that those I approached were often the most like me (liking). They played the same games I did. They were my age. But it still took someone to take the first step. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was them. Either way I am glad one of us made the effort.
So the implication for you is, regardless of where you are in the world, if you want to influence someone, take a leaf out of the book of a small child. Put your fear aside and make the first move.  If someone is walking toward you in hallway, if you look down and say nothing chances are they will do the same. But if in that same hallway with that same person you look up and say “Hi!,” chances are they will immediately smile and say hi back…but you have to go first!
Look around and find those who are most like you and start there. Uncover the things you have in common and start a conversation, you never know where it might lead.
Of course you don’t have to do this, but as I am now finding out with my daughter, if you don’t, it will quite possibly lead to comments like, “Nobody wants to talk to me,” or “Nobody wants to hang out with me.” As I am now gently pointing out to her, if you don’t make the first move chances are nothing will change. So stop complaining, get off the chair and do something about it. While this is often met with rolling eyes or protests of complaint, she is always happier at the end of it. 
Through this blog, Brian has brought you many great tools, concepts, ideas and research to help you influence others. The key to it all, though, is you must be willing to give it a try! 
Good luck and I will look out for you next time I am in the sandpit of life!
Anthony

Aligning the Principles of Influence with Aristotle’s Ethos, Pathos and Logos

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Aristotle is credited with the following definition of persuasion: “The art of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t ordinarily do if you didn’t ask.”
Pause and think about it for a moment. Isn’t that a great definition? If someone is already doing what you want there’s no need to communicate in order to change anything. Unfortunately, all too often others aren’t doing what you’d like and you need to communicate with them in a way that changes that.
If I could change one word in Aristotle’s definition it would be to substitute “science” for “art.” In my mind art conveys natural talents or gifts that some people might feel they lack. Science on the other hand is something that can be learned by anyone.
When it comes to the science of influence it may surprise you to know we have more than six decades of research from social psychologists and behavioral economists on the psychology of persuasion. That means we now have scientifically proven ways to communicate more effectively. In the business world we might say there are “best practices” when it comes to effectively communicating.
Aristotle taught people three criteria for effective persuasion: ethos, pathos and logos. We’ll take a look at each and see how Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence come into play.
Ethos refers to someone’s character and credibility. Two principles of influence come into play to establish ethos: liking and authority.
We know it’s easier to say “Yes” to people we know and like. That’s the principle of liking. If someone likes you the “halo effect” comes into play and they naturally give you the benefit of the doubt on many other attributes, which makes it easier to effectively communicate.
Influence Tip – A great way to get the liking principle going is to offer up genuine compliments. When you do that people feel good and associate those positive feelings with you.
We also know it’s natural for us to pay closer attention to people we view as credible – those who are wiser than we are, experts in their fields. This is the principle of authority at work.
Influence Tip – The more someone knows about your credentials and experience the easier it is to tap into ethos, so make sure they know your credentials before you speak.
Pathos is the connection the persuader makes with another when communicating. Liking and reciprocity both help build relationships so they’re what you want to try to tap into when establishing pathos.
The more someone likes you the easier it is to connect. Once you find out you have a few things in common with your audience they feel a sense of camaraderie and they’re open to what you have to say.
Influence Tip – Make sure you look for things you have in common and mention them early on. If you’re being introduced make sure a few personal items are shared before you speak. Something as simple as being married or having kids can get the ball rolling. You want your audience to know you’re just like them to make a connection.
Reciprocity tells us people feel obligated to give back to those who’ve first given to them. By doing something for others, helping them in some way, they will feel obligated to at least listen to you. Reciprocity, builds relationships because when you help others they feel good about you.
Influence Tip – Look for ways to genuinely help people before you ever ask anything of them. Once you’ve done that and need their help they’ll be much more likely to say “yes.”
Logos is the logical use of words. It’s the factual argument to be made. Consensus, consistency and scarcity come into play here.
Consensus tells us people tend to move with the crowd. When we know large numbers of people, or people just like us, are doing something we are more likely to go along with it. This is logical because historically there’s safety in numbers. As the old saying goes, “Everyone can’t be wrong.” Well, at least the majority of the time everyone isn’t wrong so it’s usually a good bet to follow the crowd.
Influence Tip – Make sure you talk about what others are doing to “invite” your audience along because it’s only logical for them to move with the crowd.
People work very hard to make sure their words and deeds match. In fact, we all feel internal psychological pressure and external social pressure to be consistent in what we say and do. This is the principle of consistency.
Influence Tip – Find out whatever you can about your audience before you speak and make sure you relate your request back to what they’ve said, done, believe, etc. After all, it only makes sense for people to stay true to themselves.
Scarcity alerts us to the reality that when something is rare or dwindling in availability it makes us want it more. Again, quite often it’s the logical thing to seize opportunities before they go away. Doing so also helps us avoid regret over lost opportunities.
Influence Tip – It should be your goal to share what makes you, your organization, or your offering unique in some way. In other words, what does somebody stand to lose by not going along with your request?
So there you have a quick summary of Aristotle’s methodology tied to Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence. Tying the concepts from these brilliant thinkers is a great one-two combination for more effective persuasion.

** To vote for Robert Cialdini, President of Influence At Work, for the Top Management Thinker of 2013 click here.
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
InfluencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Thinker Personalities

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Here comes your biggest challenge thus far; trying to persuade one of the smartest people to ever walk the planet – Albert Einstein! Talk about intimidating; he’ll see through every psychological ploy you toss at him. If you were going to ask Einstein for something, how would you persuade him to say “Yes?”

In our final week we’ll consider how best to persuade someone who is a thinker or analytical personality type. When I think of this personality type, Einstein comes to mind because he would be someone more task-oriented than relationship-focused. However, unlike Donald Trump, he doesn’t seek to control situations and other people. Instead, he would be someone more focused on self-control. The follow describes the thinker/analytical personality type:

Very task driven; can be slow to act because they like to think things through; exercise good self-control; don’t consider themselves assertive; like data to support decisions; usually take a logical, systematic approach to things; like to see track records and trends to support ideas.

Of the four personality types, the second most often identified was the thinker at 29%. The one chosen most often was the pragmatic (32%), then expressive (24%) and finally amiable (14%).

Because thinkers are task-focused like pragmatics, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking much less than did the amiable and expressive personality types. Those personalities are much more relationship-oriented than they are on prioritizing tasks. Some influence advice when dealing with a thinker:

Using the liking principle is okay because it’s socially acceptable but you don’t want to spend much time here because thinkers are not concerned with being your friend. Don’t take offense but most of the time their thoughts are off somewhere else.

Pulling the reciprocity lever – doing things in hopes of a return favor – won’t be an effective strategy either. Thinkers will certainly accept whatever you give them but it won’t be a high priority for them to find ways to repay the favor.

More than any other personality type, when it comes to making business decisions, helping thinkers deal with uncertainty should be your top priority.

Thinkers were more persuaded by the principle of consensus – what others were doing – than any other personality type. It’s not that they just go with the flow; rather they can be persuaded by what others who are like them happen to be doing. So tell Einstein what Tesla, Edison or other classic thinkers are doing and he’ll listen.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts – the principle of authority – is more effective with this group than any other personality type! One other expert is good but many (consensus) will be your best bet when trying to persuade a thinker.

Consistency – what someone has said or done in the past –was also high for thinkers. Only pragmatics had a higher score. Pragmatics may believe they’re right in what they say and do because of their egos. Thinkers believe they’re right because they’ve put so much time and energy into their decision before they act on it or share it. Tie your request to what a thinker has said, done or professes to believe and your odds of success go up dramatically.

Scarcity was the least effective principle with this personality type. Odds are they’ve thought about your offer, perhaps researched it, so if it’s not actually rare or going away they’ll see right through it. You’ll get much more response by helping them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business environment.

When it comes to the thinkers you know they may not be as extreme as Albert Einstein. However, you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles because they’ll help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for thinkers:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

I hope you’ve found this series on personality types helpful. When it comes to persuading people, where you have a handle on their personality type, plan accordingly and you’ll be far more successful than if you simply wing it. Also, setting the stage – what you do before you attempt to persuade – will be extremely helpful.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Amiable Personalities

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How would you like to meet Sandra Bullock? She always plays characters that are so nice and now she’s going to be nice to you. Imagine for a moment you have a big favor you want to ask her. How will you persuade her to say “Yes?”

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an amiable or facilitator personality type. When I think of an amiable, Sandra Bullock jumps out at me because she seems to be someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. But unlike Oprah, she doesn’t seek to control situations and others. Rather, she prefers to focus on self-control. The follow describes this personality type:

Amiable people really enjoy relationships; tend to focus more on feelings than facts; don’t consider themselves very assertive; are usually willing to set aside work if someone needs to talk; don’t like change; when they need help they prefer a real person to help them even if it takes more time.

Of the four personality types, fewer people taking my survey identified themselves as being amiable (14%) when compared to the other personalities: pragmatic (32%), expressive (24%) and thinker (29%).

Because amiable personality types are relationship-oriented, like the expressives, it will come as no surprise to find out they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, personalities that are much more task focused than they are on relationship building. Some influence advice when dealing with an amiable:

Make it a point to work the likingprinciple with these folks, because they want to know and enjoy the people they interact with. Can’t you just image Sandra wanting to get to know you and be your friend before you get down to business? I sure can. The good news is, if she likes you then she’ll probably go out of her way to help you.

While amiable personality types didn’t respond to reciprocityas much as the expressives they did place a higher value on it than thinkers and pragmatics. Do them a good turn or something thoughtful and it’s highly likely they’ll look for ways to return the favor.

Like the other personality types, when it comes to business decisions, helping amiable people deal with uncertainty is huge.

Amiable folks were persuaded by what others were doing – the principle of consensus– a little more than thinkers and expressives. When it comes to personal decisions consensus is even more important. This makes sense for someone relationship focused because they would rather go with the flow than buck the system.

Sharing facts or relying on the advice of experts is the most effective route with this group.  However, despite the fact that authority was the #1 principle chosen by amiables, it was not as effective as it was for thinkers and pragmatics.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for amiables. With these folks it’s not about being right as much as it is feeling obligated to live up to their word. My guess is part of this has to do with being liked. If you can tie your request to his or her beliefs or values the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly. You’ll also learn more about them so you can connect even better.

Scarcitywas least effective with this personality type when compared others. If something is truly rare or going away, by all means incorporate that into your request but don’t spend much time on it. You’ll get far more out building a relationship (liking and reciprocity) and helping t them overcome uncertainty (consensus and authority) in the business setting.

When it comes to the amiables in your life they may not be as nice and personable as  Sandra Bullock, but you’ll still be better off focusing on certain principles that will help you more than others. In order, here are the most effective principles of influence for amiables:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the final personality type, the thinker, also known as the analytic.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Expressive Personalities

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You are one lucky person because you just got another big break! This week you’re meeting Oprah Winfrey! You’ve been given 15 minutes to talk with one of the few people who can make or break your career just my mentioning your name. How will you influence Oprah to give you that positive mention or perhaps airtime on one of her shows?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is an expressive or influencer personality. When I think of an expressive, Oprah Winfrey immediately comes to mind because she’s someone who is more relationship-focused than task-oriented. Like the Trump, Oprah also likes to control situations and others. The follow describes this personality type:

Expressives like being part of social groups; enjoy attending events with lots of people; are more in tune with relating to people than working on tasks; are imaginative and creative; can usually win others over to their way of thinking; like things that are new and different; have no problem expressing themselves.

If I had to sum up expressive personalities in a word I’d say they’re balanced. Of the four personality types their answers had the least amount of variance. In other words, all of the principles of influence work well with them.

Because expressive personality types are relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey that they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far more than did the pragmatic and analytical personality types, two personalities that are task focused much more than they are on building relationships. Some persuasion advice when dealing with an expressive:

Definitely spend time engaging the likingprinciple with them, because they want to like the people they interact with. Oprah certainly cares about closing the deal but she also cares about you and your story so look for ways to connect with her. If she likes you it’s a good bet she’ll go out of her way to help you.

Expressive personalities responded more to reciprocitythan any other personality type so look for ways to genuinely help them and they’ll respond in kind much more than pragmatics or thinkers will.

As was the case with pragmatics, in a business setting overcoming uncertainty is key for expressives.

Sharing trends and what others are doing – the principle of consensus– can be quite effective with expressives. Oprah types want to move the masses and they know it’s easier to swim with a wave rather than against it so share what many others are already doing.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effectiveroute with this group.  However, while authoritywas the #1 principle chosen by expressives, it wasn’t as effective as it was with the other personalities. Show Oprah the numbers or share insight from experts and it will give her pause to consider your request.

When it came to using consistency– what someone has said or done in the past – this was the #3 choice for expressives. For this group it’s not as much about being right as it is being true to themselves and what they believe. Look for ways to tie your request to his or her beliefs or values and the chance you’ll year “Yes” will increase significantly.

Scarcitywas no more effective for this group than the others. Definitely don’t force the issue unless something is truly rare or diminishing. Oprah Winfrey and her expressive friends don’t like to miss out on opportunities but just know you won’t be as effective with the scarcity strategy as you might be with Donald Trump and his pragmatic buddies.

When it comes to the expressives you know, they may not be as expressive as Oprah Winfrey, but there are still principles that will be more effective than others. As I noted at the beginning, there is less variance with the principles for this group when compared to others. In order, here are the most effective principles:

  • Authority
  • Consensus
  • Consistency
  • Liking
  • Reciprocity
  • Scarcity

Next week we’ll take a look at the amiable personality, sometimes known as the facilitator.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Keys to Persuading Pragmatic Personalities

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Here it is, your big break – you have a meeting with the Donald! That’s right, Donald Trump has agreed to give you 15 minutes to pitch your idea. How will you go about persuading him to get a yes answer?

This week we’ll take a look at how best to persuade someone who is a pragmatic or driver personality. In my mind, Donald Trump is an off-the-charts pragmatic because he’s someone who is more task-oriented as opposed to relationship-focused and he likes to control situations and others. The following describes this personality type:

Pragmatics generally want quick results; are more focused on getting things done than chatting with people; prefer taking control of situations; sometimes act before thoroughly thinking things through; are assertive; not afraid to take risks; appreciate getting to the point quickly.

Because pragmatics are not relationship-oriented it will come as no surprise to learn in my online survey they chose answers that engaged reciprocity and liking far less than did the expressive and amiable personality types, two personalities that are people-focused much more than task-oriented. Some persuasion advice when dealing with a pragmatic.

Don’t be rude but don’t spin your wheels using the liking principle because they don’t care much about being your friend. Do you think Donald cares more about being your friend or possibly closing the deal? I bet he wants to close the deal.

Don’t try to pull the reciprocity lever by doing favors with an expectation that it will be a difference maker because it probably won’t help too much. Donald will gladly accept what you offer but it’s doubtful it will be top of mind for him to think about how to repay the favor.

Uncertainty can be bothersome for pragmatics so when they’re not sure what to do they tend to respond to a couple of principles more than others.

Pragmatics generally don’t care what everyone else is doing but it can be persuasive to tell them what others just like themare doing. While they don’t respond to the principle of consensus as much as other personalities it was nonetheless one of their top choices. Donald Trump doesn’t care what the run of the mill businessperson is doing but he cares what respected peers are doing so do some research and incorporate your findings into your presentation.

Sharing hard data or using the advice of perceived experts is the most effective route with this group.  In fact, in more than half the cases where authority was a choice, pragmatics went with it! Show Donald what the numbers are or share what respected experts have to say and he’ll give that more weight than anything else.

Motivating pragmatics to action can be easy if you know which principles to look for. Generally, you want to use consistency or scarcity.

When it came to using consistency – what someone has said or done in the past – pragmatics were more motivated by this principle than any other personality style. In fact, it was their second most often chosen reason when it came to being persuaded. When Donald Trump says something do you think he believes he’s right? Of course he does, so tie your request to his previous words, actions or beliefs and your odds of success go up dramatically. I can back up that claim because I saw this to be the case on an episode of The Apprentice.

While scarcity wasn’t one of the top three choices for pragmatics, using this principle was more effective with pragmatics than any other personality type. Think about Donald Trump – he hates to lose! Talk about what pragmatics might lose by not going along with what you’re proposing and you’ll get more compliance than you would by talking about what they might gain or save.

When it comes to the pragmatics you know, they may not be as extreme as Donald Trump, but nonetheless there are certain principles that will be more effective than others. In order of effectiveness they are:

  • Authority
  • Consistency
  • Consensus
  • Scarcity
  • Reciprocity
  • Liking

Next week we’ll take a look at the expressive personality, sometimes known as the influencer.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer

influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

DISCover Keys to Persuading Different Personality Types

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Should you try to persuade different personality types with different principles of influence? Several years ago I conducted a survey on that topic and the results seemed to indicate there were certain principles of influence that were more effective with particular personality types.

My original survey contained a mixture of business and personal questions, which led many people to contact me because they felt they responded differently in business situations vs. personal settings. For example, in business they felt friendship was far less important when it came to saying “Yes” to someone than it might be away from the office.

Because much of what I write about is oriented towards business I decided to conduct a new survey that would be entirely focused on business-related issues. I’m happy to report that more than 500 people participated in the survey!The actual survey questions can be seen here. Without going into great detail, what’s important for you to understand is each question had three possible answers:

For the most part those who contacted me years ago were correct – people seem to respond to different principles of influence in the business environment than they do away from work. For example, with each personality type those taking the survey responded most often to the principle of authority. That’s not to say another principle such as liking was irrelevant but it was clear from the data that given the choice to respond because of friendship versus a perceived expert or hard data, people choose the expert or authoritative information when it came to saying “Yes.”

Something else to understand about the survey are the four personality types I asked survey participants to choose from. The personality choices are similar to the DISC profile you may be familiar with:

Pragmatic/Driver– This is someone who is more focused on accomplishing tasks than building relationships. They’re also more focused on control of others and situations than they are self-control. Donald Trump would be an off the charts representative of the driver personality style.

Expressive/Influencer– This person is more focused on building relationships versus accomplishing tasks. They’re also more focused on control of others and situations than they are on self-control. Oprah Winfrey would be a classic example of the influencer personality style.

Amiable/Facilitator– This is someone who is more focused on building relationships than accomplishing tasks. They’re also more focused on self-control as opposed to control of others or situations. Based on the roles she plays, Sandra Bullock comes to mind for this amiable personality style.

Thinker/Analytical– This individual is more focused on accomplishing tasks that building relationships. They tend to display more concern about self-controlvs. control of others or situations. Albert Einstein would be the perfect picture of this analytical personality style.

In the coming weeks I’ll share details on each of the four personality types and give some tips on the best ways to persuade people when you have a handle on their personality.

Brian Ahearn, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Giver, Taker or Matcher – Which are You?

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Do you look to help others? If you do, then
the next question is, why?
I just finished an excellent book, Give and Take, by Adam Grant. He
explores the principle of reciprocity but from a slightly different angle than
I typically do. Reciprocity is the psychological principle that tells us people
feel obligated to give back to those who’ve first given to them. Reciprocity is
triggered by the act of giving.
When it comes to reciprocity Grant explores
three kinds of people – takers, matchers and givers. As you might imagine, some
people don’t offer much help or only do so if they think they can get something
in return. These are takers and generally it’s best to avoid them because they
don’t really care about you except in so far as you can help them.
Matchers describe most people. You help them
and they’ll help you because they feel the pull of reciprocity.  They’ll offer help but usually not go
overboard. They’re almost keeping mental accounts because they feel if they
give too much they’ll be taken advantage of or not have enough time to tend to
their priorities.
Givers are those rare people who look to give
simply because they believe it’s the right thing to do. They’ll give far more than they
receive quite often and while they can be taken advantage of, for them that
doesn’t negate the reality that giving is the right thing to do. As a giver you
may give far more than you receive but you never know how doing something for
someone might just come around and be life changing for them as well as you.
As I read the book it reminded me of how I
came to know Robert Cialdini and his team at Influence At Work (IAW). I came in
contact with Dr. Cialdini’s work in 2002 when a friend, Nancy Edwards, was
studying for her MBA at The Ohio State University. Nancy saw a presentation Dr.
Cialdini had given at Stanford and was kind enough to share the video with me.
As I learned about the principles of influence a light bulb came on – the
principles explained all the sales techniques I’d learned and taught!
I purchased a copy of the video, began to
share it with small groups and we’d talk about how we could apply the concepts
at State Auto. One thing I appreciated about Dr. Cialdini was his emphasis on
non-manipulative ways to persuade people.
Sometime later, Stanford came out with a new
marketing piece for the video and it read, “Call it Influence, Persuasion, or
even Manipulation,” then went on to describe the video in more detail. Because
Dr. Cialdini was so emphatic about the ethical use of the principles I decide
to email Stanford. I basically said, “No one wants to be manipulated and I
doubt anyone wants to be known as a manipulator. That word can’t be helping your
sales but it sure could be hurting sales.”
Time passed and I never heard from Stanford
but one day my phone rang and it was Bobette Gorden, the vice president of
IAW, calling to thank me for sending that email to Stanford.
Apparently someone at Stanford read the email and decided to change how they
were marketing Dr. Cialdini’s video.
As fate would have it, during that call,
Bobette let me know Dr. Cialdini spoke about influence around the world in case
we ever needed a keynote speaker. It so happened we were looking for a speaker for
some upcoming agency conferences! In 2004, Dr. Cialdini spoke at State Auto
several times and that summer I went through his two-day Principles of
Persuasion workshop.
From there you might just say the rest is
history. I’ve now been a certified trainer for IAW for more than five years and
have been blogging on the subject of influence for more than four years.
The point of this post is twofold. First, for
those who are looking for ways to be more influential through giving, pick up a
copy of Give and Take. You’ll be a
more effective persuader because of it and more importantly, a better person.
The second point of the post is to encourage
you to be a giver because it’s the right thing to do. Trust that good things
will come your way as a result but in the meantime, look for ways to genuinely
help others. The late Zig Ziglar used to say; “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” There’s
wisdom and truth in those words so go out today and “give” it a try.

 

Brian, CMCT®
Chief Influence Officer
influencePEOPLE 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.