Tag Archive for: Influence PEOPLE

Maximizer or Satisficer: Does it Make a Difference?

/0 Comments/by

Remember when mom, dad, or maybe grandpa would espouse their philosophy about people, starting with something like this, “Ya know, there are two kinds of people in this world…” and then they’d give you their broad take on the human race? I’m here to add another grouping of two to the human race: maximizers and satisficers.

In the book “Welcome to Your Brain,” the
authors describe maximizers as people who “spend a lot of time worrying about differences, no matter how small. In a consumer society with choices everywhere, maximizers suffer from an inability to recognize when an alternative is good enough. Indeed, from an economic perspective, spending the additional time on maximization doesn’t make sense since your time itself has some monetary value.”
On the opposite end of the spectrum we have satisficers who are described as individuals who “look until they find something good enough, then stop. Satisficers are decisive, don’t look back, and have little regret, even about mistakes.”
So what does this have to persuasion? Plenty, because in an information overloaded society in which some experts estimate the average person sees more than 3,000 marketing messages a day we cannot possibly process all the information that comes to us through our five senses. And put on top of that the fact that so
much can change in a single day, sometimes it’s all we can do to not just cover our ears, close our eyes and start screaming.
For example; I can’t process all the features of all the smart phones and balance them with all the pricing options while weighing all the new features and options I hear might come out in the next few months. TMI – too much information! Therefore, if I’m like most people I will “satisfice.” Satisficing refers to “the act of choosing an alternative that is just sufficient to satisfy a goal.” I do it, I bet you do it and so do most other people.
Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence act as mental short cuts, decision triggers if you will, in an information overloaded society because they help us quickly process information in a way that allows us to make a quicker decisions that we’re satisfied with. Here are some quick examples related to buying a smart phone.
Liking – A good friend of yours owns the phone you’re considering and has nothing but good things to say. He encourages you to buy the same phone and you trust his opinion because you have the same tastes in a lot of things.
Reciprocity – When you were comparing phones and asking questions the store clerk spent a lot of time with you. You’d feel kind of bad not buying from him after he did all that for you.
Authority – You read Consumer Reports and it rated one phone you’re considering highest in three of four categories. The magazine is the most reputable, unbiased source you know.
Consensus – Everyone has the brand you’re looking at and people are raving about it. They can’t all be wrong.
Consistency – When you told the salesperson the general features you were looking for she pointed you to a phone that had almost every single one. How can you not buy it after you
said that’s what you wanted in a phone?
Scarcity – You’re shown a phone and told a newer model is coming out in a few months. Now you worry because you might not be able to get this one at the low price because everyone else will buy them up while it’s still a great deal.
As noted earlier, most people engage in satisficing but that still leaves the maximizers so how do we deal with them? Maximizers by nature are probably more analytical so my advice would be to concentrate on these principles of influence:
Authority – Let them know what the experts are saying and show them hard data because this appeals to their strength – logic.
Consistency – Get them to tell you in detail what they want. The more detail the better because if you can show them how your offering matches up then it’s only logical for the deep thinker to go with your request.
Scarcity – No one likes to lose so show them their lost dollars, time, and opportunity by not going with your recommendation relatively soon. Remind them that new features and upgrades will always come out but they’re losing the opportunity to enjoy your product in the meantime.
So whether your mom, dad, or grandpa were right about their two tier classification systems, science tells us there’s at least one other category, maximizers and satisficers. It would do you well to not only understand which category you fall into but which category those you’re trying to persuade fall into because it will make the persuasion process much easier.
Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear
“Yes”.

A Persuasion Trump Card

/0 Comments/by

Are you a fan of Donald Trump’s show “The Apprentice?” When it first aired I watched it religiously because I learned some business tips but I don’t watch it so much anymore because there’s usually too much drama and too few tips. That said, I was watching an episode recently where Donald Trump’s new cologne, “Success by Trump,” was introduced. Each celebrity team’s challenge was to design an in-store display and come up with a slogan for the new fragrance which will be carried by Macy’s. The teams were judged by Trump and Macy’s executives on the creativity of their slogan, their brand messaging and the in-store display presentation they developed.

Aubrey O’Day, project manager for one team, suggested the tagline, “Trust your instinct.” Almost immediately Arsenio Hall found a Donald Trump quote online where The Donald asked, “Do you trust your instinct?”

At that very moment I knew Aubrey’s team would win the task. How did I know? I knew because I understand the principle of consistencyand it is very apparent Donald Trump is a pragmatic when it comes to personality type. Allow me to explain how these two facts led to my immediate conclusion.

Let’s start with one of Robert Cialdini’s six principles of influence, the principle of consistency, sometimes known as “commitment and consistency.” This principle tells us people feel internal psychological pressure to remain consistent in word and deed. Most people feel bad when they say they’ll do something but then back out, even if their reason for backing out is completely legitimate. That’s why people go to great lengths to keep their word.

In addition to that aspect of consistency we need to remember people are more easily persuaded to do something when it aligns with what they’ve already said or done. In other words, tying your product or idea to what someone has already publicly stated will make the persuasion process much easier. I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Several years ago I did a survey with my blog readers on personality types and influence approaches. Using a basic four quadrant DISC model (pragmatic, expressive, amiable, analytic) I had people self-identify then take a short survey so I could find out if there were influence approaches that worked best with certain personalities. My data clearly showed there were, and when it came down to it, for the pragmatic consistency was one of the three principles that worked best.

Pragmatics are described using these terms: action-orientated, decisive, problem solver, direct, assertive, demanding, risk taker, forceful, competitive, independent, determined, thrive on challenges, strong intrinsic motivation to succeed, practical, focused, results oriented, direct and straight to the point. Doesn’t that sound like Donald Trump to you?

Let me ask you a couple of questions about persuading someone like Donald Trump.

  1. Do you think he will be more persuaded by someone trying to buddy up to him using the liking principleor will he respond more to potential lost opportunities using scarcity? I vote scarcity every time.
  2. Do you think he will be more swayed by what everyone else is doing using consensusor more by the presentation of hard data using the authority principle? I’ll go with authority in this case.

As soon as Aubrey O’Day came up with the tagline and Arsenio Hall tied it to Trump’s own words it was a sure bet The Donald would love it. It was also a sure bet if he loved it the Macy’s executives would not try to change his mind. When both teams went to the board room I was proven correct.

What does this mean for you? In your attempt to persuade others you’ll certainly be more successful when you understand the psychology of persuasion and how to ethically leverage it. However, using a shotgun approach with the principles is akin to mass marketing which will never be as effective as target marketing that considers the specifics of the audience. In the same way, knowing the type of person you’re trying to persuade allows you to look for legitimate opportunities to use principles that will be most effective for that personality type.

Sure, Donald Trump likes to be liked and is somewhat interested in what others are doing, but if you rely on those to persuade him you’ll never be as effective as you could be by tapping into principles as I outlined in the questions above.

Here’s my advice: next time you go into an influence situation give thought to the personality type you’ll be dealing with then consider the best principles of influence to use. If you do so you’ll have a persuasion Trump card. To find out more about how to do this click on each of the personality types below.

Pragmatic/Driver
Expressive/Influencer
Facilitator/Amiable
Thinker/Analytic

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Positive Mental Attitude is an Essential Persuasion Tool

/3 Comments/by

If you follow me on Facebook then you know I broke my right ankle back in March when I stepped on my wife’s boot heel the morning after our 24th anniversary celebration. When this all happened I passed out so Jane called an ambulance and I was subjected to 12 hours of tests and waiting (more waiting than tests) in the emergency room. I was there so long because doctors were concerned with my unusually low heart rate coupled with the passing out incident. I could go on and on but you get the picture; not exactly a great way to start the 25th year of marriage. Did I mention I was in a walking boot for six weeks?

On the surface that sounds like a bummer and I won’t lie, I wish it hadn’t happened. If not for the broken ankle I could have done two activities I enjoy dearly – driving my car and running. I also wouldn’t have inconvenienced some people because I needed rides to and from work. And let’s not forget all the money I would have saved.
Having taught classes on maintaining a positive mental attitude – and knowing I was going to have to teach that very same class in the walking boot – I had to practice what I preach. So how does one find the positive in all this?
Let’s start with my trip to the emergency room. When a resident asked what happened, I told her, “I did something different this morning. Normally I leave the lights off so I don’t wake up my wife but since she was already awake I turned on the light. I think I passed out when I saw her beauty so early in the morning.” She chuckled and Jane just rolled her eyes.
I didn’t get upset when a nurse mistakenly told us I was scheduled to have a pacemaker put in at noon. Jane on the other hand started to freak out thinking I was going to meet God before she did.
Knowing there would be some hefty hospital bills, Jane was feeling bad that this all started with her boot. My attitude – we can’t change it, we don’t know what we’ll be charged so why worry about it? There’s never any sense in worrying about things you have no control over so why let them get you down?

I’ve tried to have fun with it as I tell the story. People expect to hear something manly like breaking it while running or at taekwondo. Nope, nothing manly about stepping on your wife’s boot heel at four in the morning. But I usually have them laughing when I end the story with this line, “Better that she broke my ankle than my heart.”
The rides to work were fun because Cobi Dorn and Terra Boroff are such nice people and they both have a great sense of humor. They had to in order to put up with me, my ego and all the bad jokes I tell. Being the astute observer of human behavior that I am, I think they enjoyed having me  around … at least in small doses.
My spring break trip to Chicago with Abigail was more memorable in the walking boot and airport security wasn’t as big a hassle as you might think.
Perhaps my favorite pastime during all of this was watching Jane cut the grass while I drank beer sitting on the deck with my feet up. In fact, it was such a good time I made sure to preserve it with some photos and Facebook updates. Jane’s guilt has passed and she reminds during those times that she can also break my other ankle.
And one more thing – and this almost makes it all worth it – was a dinner with insurance agents that Jane came to because I needed a ride home. For those of you who have been married for any length of time you might be able to relate. When she picked me up for dinner she looked like a million bucks in a slinky black dress! It was one of those times you stare at your spouse, and even after all those years, feel the same way you did when you first met them. It was a good night!
So why am I sharing all of this in a blog on influence? The principle of liking tells us we like people who like us. There’s nothing worse than being around someone who is cranky and negative most or all of the time. A lot of people would have responded that way causing others to avoid them. I chose a different path and I hope people found it funny and entertaining. I think it make me more likable and people enjoyed being around me.
Each of you has a choice to make when seemingly bad things come your way. You can choose to look for the good or find ways to manufacture some good. If you do so you’ll probably be a little happier for it and those who are around you will benefit as well. And in the midst of it all, if you need a favor, help or have to make some other request, the odds that you’ll hear “Yes” will be dramatically better than if you do nothing but complain.

If you’re viewing this by email and want to listen to the audio version click here. If you want to leave a comment click here. 

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear
“Yes”.

Ethical Influence for Business Coaches

/1 Comment/by

A few months ago I had the privilege of addressing several dozen business coaches from the Central Ohio Chapter of the International Coach Federation at The Ohio State University. My hour-long presentation focused on how they could use certain principles of influence to help their clients obtain better business results.

I opened the presentation sharing about PEOPLE – those Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. I also spent time on three of Dr. Cialdini’s six principles of influence  –  reciprocity, authority and consistency  –  defining each principle then citing scientific research to help attendees understand just how powerful the principles can be in the communication process. I also shared real world application for each principle to help those in attendance envision how they might use each in their daily attempts to ethically persuade others.
Below is the video clip where I introduced my PEOPLE concept – those Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical.  

If you’re viewing this by email click here to watch the video on YouTube.



In the coming months I’ll share other clips from the presentation to help you better understand how the power of persuasion can help you hear “Yes” more often.


Is your organization looking for a keynote speaker or training on ethical influence and persuasion? If so, reach out to me by email at BFA654@gmail.com. 

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

A Life Well Lived: Kathleen Schwartz

/6 Comments/by

Today’s post is not about any of the principles of influence, rather it’s about the influence one person can have on so many. Yesterday Jane, Abigail and I visited a good friend, Kathleen Schwartz, after she’d been admitted to a hospice care facility. Barring a miracle she will not be with us much longer, so as you can imagine we’re all filled with sadness.

During our time there I told her husband Mark we’re all better people because of knowing Kathleen. We met her when she was Abigail’s middle school gym teacher and volleyball coach. She was tough, once calling a time out during a volleyball match to make the girls do finger tip pushups because of a mental mistake. She’d warned the girls she would do that and she was true to her word. As parents we loved seeing that kind of disciple instilled in the girls.

Click here to view the video if you’re reading this in an email.

Despite being hard on the girls they knew one thing above all – Kathleen loved them. There was correction for mistakes, but it was always balanced with hugs and lots of affirmation.
She was also the girls’ teacher for a life skills class. As 8th graders getting ready to leave the relative shelter of Polaris Christian Academy’s school environment, Kathleen prepared them for many of the changes they would encounter as teens in public high school. One bit of advice we laughed at and will never forget is when she told the girls, “If you hear a zipper, run!”
During my high school years Todd Alles, my football coach, instilled things in me that still impact my decision making nearly every day. When coach Alles told us, “You’ll learn a lot about life playing this game,” it rang hollow to most of us who played for him. However, as is the case with most people who grow up, we look back now and marvel at his wisdom. Kathleen was Abigail’s Todd Alles because what Kathleen taught Abigail will stay with her the rest of her life and Abigail will be a better person because of those life lessons.
Everything was fine in early December when Kathleen and Mark stopped by for Abigail’s 16th birthday party. Not feeling well towards the end of the month she was diagnosed in early January with a very rare form of cancer. Now in early March we all wonder why God seems to be calling her home so quickly. However, as Christians we adhere to the Apostle Paul’s words, “God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Difficult times are ahead for Kathleen’s family, her students, and for her friends but we cling to Paul’s promise. Good things will come from this and great things have already come from her life.
The influence of her life stemmed from her love of God and desire to live as His son lived. Love isn’t a principle of influence but it’s the most powerful force of change in the universe. When we unconditionally give ourselves to others it changes them. Our world would be a much better place if we all looked for ways to love more and thought of ourselves less.
Jane and I will never forget seeing Kathleen comfort Abigail, hugging her and telling her everything would be alright. That’s love when someone dying is still giving! 

This was not the post you may have expected but I hope it influences you to go out today and look for ways to genuinely love someone. Doing so will help spread Kathleen’s influence far beyond what she ever would have imagined and that would be a fitting tribute to a live well lived. God bless!

If you’re viewing this by email and want to leave a comment click here.

Brian, CMCT 
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Unwanted Gifts and Help

/1 Comment/by

Gifts are usually a good thing, especially on your birthday, Christmas, an anniversary or some other special occasion. Of course, they’re also very nice when they come totally unexpected.

From the time we’re little, we’re taught to reciprocate when we receive a gift. Gifts are typically met with a verbal “Thank you!” or you might remember your mom or dad making you write thank cards. Reciprocating when given a gift isn’t limited to American culture either. Social scientists agree that people in all cultures are raised in the way of reciprocation.
Gifts differ from rewards in that when giving a gift there’s no guarantee the other party will respond in some way. With rewards an “if – then” system is put in place. For example; if you exceed your goals then I’ll reward you with a $100 bonus. There’s not much risk on my part because your failure to exceed your goals means I don’t have to give you $100.
Sometimes we get unwanted gifts, things we’d never buy or ask for, and yet we feel reciprocity tugging at us to return the favor in some way. Savvy practitioners of influence understand this and use it to their benefit by giving you something you may not want knowing you’ll give them something in return. Hari Krishnas were famous for this trick when they’d give unsuspecting people a flower and those same people then felt compelled to reciprocate with a small donation.
All of this is top of mind for me because of a recent business trip to Nashville. A group of us went to BB King’s Restaurant and Blues Club for dinner and some music. When I went to the men’s room there was a man there sitting on a stool near the sinks. As soon as someone went to wash their hands he was handing them a towel and taking a lint brush to their back.
Personally I find the whole set up offensive for several reasons. First, I don’t want some stranger touching me, especially in the men’s room. No matter where it is it’s an invasion of space.
Second, I don’t like tipping people when they’ve not done something worthy of it. To me it’s like ordering something at a counter and just because someone hands you your order they expect a tip. That’s entirely different than a server who hustles for you over dinner or lunch. When someone does something for me that I can do for myself with little or no effort, like handing me a towel, I don’t feel that’s worthy of a tip.
Not only was reciprocity at work in the men’s room, so was consensus because everyone could clearly see money in the man’s tip jar. That starts a battle inside about whether or not to tip because others have already done so. Here’s a hint; the tip jar was probably “salted” meaning the person put some money in to start with, in order to give the impression that others have been tipping and so should you.
One other thing to point out, all of this becomes more difficult when you’re the only one in the restroom. It’s like making eye contact with someone who asks you a question; you can’t pretend they’re not there in an effort to not engage.
Back to reciprocity; we feel the urge to reciprocate because whether or not we asked, the man in the restroom did something for us. I’ll tell you I didn’t tip because the whole set up actually angers me a bit. And yet after describing all of this to you I must admit, it was still difficult! Not only was it difficult for me, it was for others. In fact, when I brought this up later in the night one person in our group said he decided to wait till he got back to the hotel rather than go to the restroom at BB King’s! That illustrates just how powerful the urge to reciprocate can be.
As I share this I recall a similar incident many years ago at a different location. When one fellow in our party came back from the men’s room and told us there was someone in there handing out towels another person emphatically stated how much he dislikes that and that he never tips people who do that. And yet he did that night because someone in our group saw him do it. Again, despite his protests we see how strong the pull or reciprocity can be on any of us!
So how do you combat this psychological phenomenon when you feel the tug of war going on inside of you? I tell you it’s not easy and trying to do so will elicit a lot of thoughts and feelings. You need to ask yourself a few questions:
a. Did I want what the other person gave me?
b. Would I normally tip this person if I didn’t feel compelled to?
c. Does this feel like a ploy to get something or was it a genuine gift?
If you answered no to any of the questions then you need to remind yourself of that and make a choice not to give in to the power of reciprocity. The principles of influence usually guide us into good behavior but not 100% of the time. As I noted before, savvy people understand these principles and will seek to use them against you at times so be watchful and be vigilant if you ever think the principles are being used in an unethical manner.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Why the “We are the 99%” Movement?

/0 Comments/by

Earlier this year a movement began in the United States known as “We are the 99%.” If you live in America it’s hard to believe you would not have heard about it because of the considerable media coverage the Occupy Wall Street protesters have received in major cities across the country. It’s a good bet most of my foreign readers have heard about it too because of the world-wide economic depression we find ourselves in, and of some similar protests internationally.

Why such dissatisfaction in the land of opportunity, the country where almost everyone wants to live? Certainly the financial crisis that led to the economic downturn in 2008 helped start the movement as many unemployed and underemployed Americans looked at what they perceive to be injustice caused by Wall Street and other large financial institutions.
I believe one psychological reason for the movement is rooted in a phenomenon Robert Cialdini, PhD., likes to call “compare and contrast.” This phenomenon tells us we experience things as being more different than they actually are depending on how they are presented.
According to the Congressional Budget Office, between 1979 and 2007 Americans known as “the middle class,” approximately 60% of wage earners, saw their income increase by 40%. Most people would say that’s not bad, until they compare it to the top 1% of American wage earners who saw their income increase an average of 275% during the same period. To make matters worse, when you group the bottom 90% together that group actually saw their incomes go down by $900. While the reasons for these gaps are many, the bottom line is this; it’s human nature to compare and contrast and the widening gap is a cause of discontent.
Is a person good looking? You can only make that determination by comparing that person to other people. Do you make a lot of money? Again, that’s a relative term and can only be answered by comparing your income to someone else’s. Many people are happy with their salary…until they find out they make significantly less than some coworkers. When it comes to compare and contrast, we all do it to one extent or another.
We live in a time of unprecedented wealth and even people who don’t earn much live far better than their relatives from decades ago. Indeed, it’s rare when Americans don’t have cable television, a computer in their home and a cell phone – hardly necessities of life. Yet there’s a tremendous amount of dissatisfaction because of the perceived income gaps and that they only seem to be growing larger as time goes by.
How did we get here? One statistic I share in my Principles of Persuasion workshop has to do with CEO pay. In 1980 a typical CEO made about 42 times more than the average American worker. By 1990 that figure had grown to 109 times. In 1993, the Fed mandated full disclosure of CEO compensation in an effort to help curb this trend but unfortunately their plan backfired big time. I bet you didn’t know this; by 2005 the difference between the typical CEO and average American worker’s pay had ballooned to 525 times! You read that right. In all fairness, in more recent years the gap has shrunk to a mere 269 times.

How could this have happened? After all, some of the thinking behind the full disclosure of compensation was to let everyone see how much CEOs and other top executives were earning so stockholders could put the brakes on the incredible income growth. It failed because of consensus.

Consensus, sometimes referred to as social proof, is the principle of influence that tells us we look to the actions of others when making decisions and this is heightened when we’re not completely sure what to do. Prior to the federal mandate about compensation disclosure it was an educated guess as to what the market was paying other CEOs in a given industry. Once it because public knowledge it wasn’t unlike what we see with star athletes in sports. Salaries for those athletes have skyrocketed because once an athlete knows what other top performers make their sports agent begins to negotiate an even bigger deal for the athlete. It’s a keep up with the Jones’ mentality and so it’s been with CEO compensation.
Perhaps we’ve now reached the point the Feds thought we would back in the early 1990s when they implemented the full disclosure rule. The Fed thought people would say “enough is enough” back then but it seems to have taken a worldwide economic depression to wake up the voice of the majority of Americans. Where it goes is yet to be seen because there will be a tug of war between the average American comparing their income to the top earners and the power of consensus as companies vie for the best CEO talent they can find.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople 
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Changes Coming to Influence PEOPLE

/0 Comments/by

I decided to have an extra post this week to let you know about a few things to keep an eye out for on Influence PEOPLE this year. I hope you’ll find them interesting ways to continue learning about ethical influence.
First is something that’s not entirely new but will be presented in a different manner. For quite some time now I’ve been recording influence tips and blog posts on a site called CinchCast. I realize different people have different learning styles so I started these recordings for those of you who are auditory learners. What I’ll be doing differently this year is embedding the audio recording into the blog post. If you scroll down past my signature you’ll see the CinchCast recording for this post. Just click on the button and you can listen to the blog rather than read it.
In the near future I’m hoping to post some video clips from the presentation I gave at Franklin University on Influential Leadership. That will give you an opportunity to see and hear why influence is all about people as well as learn a little bit about each of the six principles of influence. On the topic of video, I’m also planning to do a video blog at least once a quarter.
Finally, I’m looking at the possibility of adding a few more guest writers from around the world so we can continue learning how influence and persuasion work in other cultures.
I hope you find these changes interesting ways to keep things fresh while you continue to learn about influence and persuasion. If you have ideas for the blog or would like to see certain topics or questions addressed feel free to leave a comment below.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

People Buy Based on Emotion and Justify with Logic

/4 Comments/by

In sales it’s common to hear, “People buy based on emotion then justify after the fact with logic.” If you’re in sales that’s not a newsflash but it’s worth exploring little more because the implications go beyond sales when it comes to your ability to influence people.

Feelings are incredibly powerful and no matter how much we’d like to believe we’re rational creatures who occasionally act emotionally, the truth is, we’re actually emotional beings who occasionally act rationally. Economists would have us believe that people always act in a rational manner, trying to maximize gain, but if you’ve read Dan Ariely’s work, Predictably Irrational orThe Upside of Irrationality, then you know quite often people don’t act in rational ways and don’t always maximize their gain.

Why is this so often the case? I believe it’s because of how we’re wired; how our brains work. When I say the word “elephant” if you’re like most people you have a picture of an elephant in your mind. Your picture might be an African elephant with tusks, a smaller Asian elephant without dusks, the lovable Dumbo, or perhaps an elephant toy you played with as a child. Whatever the case, you had a picture in your mind and that’s because we translate words into pictures.
Next in the process come feelings. Your elephant picture might generate certain feelings for you. Perhaps you had memories of a movie you saw and remembered seeing an elephant, maybe you thought of a trip to the zoo, or you had feelings because of the toy you played with. Those thoughts turned into a picture which led to some feelings for you.It’s those feelings that ultimately lead to action. So the process is this; words create pictures, picture lead to feelings, and feelings culminate in actions. Understanding that to be the case we’re confronted with
the reality that the words we use can make a big difference in influencing people’s behavior.
I was in Indianapolis towards the end of 2010 to conduct a sales skills workshop and we spent time on this very topic. I put up some word sets and asked people questions like the following:

Which do you prefer; buying or owning?
Which appeals to you more; spending or investing?
Would you rather buy a cheap car or an inexpensive car?

If you’re like the vast majority (more than 9 in 10) who took an online survey I conducted, or those who participated in my workshop discussion, then you prefer owning things, investing your money and you’ll buy the inexpensive car, not the cheap one. Why were the results so lopsided? Simple, the preferred words translate into more positive feelings despite the fact that in each case both words might be used to mean the same thing.People typically say they prefer to own something rather than to buy it because that word makes them think about the pleasure of possessing and using something as opposed to pulling out their wallet to pay. Don’t you think the smart salesperson will talk about the benefits of owning their product or service instead of buying the product or service? Sure they will!When it comes to investing rather than spending it’s because people see that as a way to grow their money whereas spending feels like sending you money away forever. When it comes to budgeting you might have a better chance of getting some things approved by talking about “investing in” as opposed to “spending on” because investing will make your budget committee a little more focused in their potential return.Lastly, cheap conjures up thoughts of poor quality but inexpensive simply means something doesn’t cost much. So the unsuspecting person trying to sell their car only hurts their chances to make the sale because they advertised the price using the word cheap.Again, words lead to pictures
which generate feelings that prompt behavior. With that understanding you need to pause, consider your audience and consider your message. What will they think and feel because of the words you use? I’m not going to tell you everyone will react as you want because you use a few different words here and there but sometimes all it takes is moving a few more people to ultimately make a big difference. A few extra sales could make the difference in being #1 instead of #2, or winning an incentive contest. Or perhaps one more person on the budget committee will see the value in your suggestion resulting in you getting the green light. You can bank on this; making some strategic changes won’t hurt your chances to persuade but they might increase them significantly.Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Influencers from Around the World – Berlusconi and the Principle of Liking

/5 Comments/by

To start the New Year the Influencers from Around the World post is from my Italian friend Marco Germani. I had the pleasure of talking to AND seeing Marco the day after Christmas. I didn’t go to Rome, instead we used our iPhones. I also got to “meet” his wife Monika and their six month old son Martin. Technology is amazing! I’m sure you’ll enjoy Marco’s insights on how the principle of liking helped a famous politician in his native Italy. Feel free to reach out to Marco on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.Berlusconi and the Principle of LikingHe did it again. I am talking about one of the most famous prime ministers of the world, often for all the wrong reasons, my fellow-countryman Silvio Berlusconi. I guess his fame crossed the ocean and even in the U.S., people are aware of his tendency to have affairs with teenage girls and being caught. This already cost him his marriage and a number of scandals in the press. I guess President Clinton in comparison was a saint, or at least a bit smarter in not being caught so often. A few weeks ago, a 17-year old girl called Rudy, confessed to the press she has been invited several times in the previous months to attend parties with Silvio and friends and she gave to the press sordid details of what was going on in the Presidential Palace during those nights. Hot stuff, I tell you! Let’s see how Silvio took advantage of the principle of liking to turn the public opinion in his favour, even in a very compromising and critical situation.
When informed of what the girl just said, he didn’t try to deny it. He didn’t get upset or promise legal battles to his political enemies, who this time also were paying a girl to speak false against him and destroy his political figure. He stated instead: “I love life, I love women, I am like this, this is my nature.” Surprisingly, a majority of the public in Italy took Silvio’s side and, most surprisingly still, many Italian women started to defend him! What happened? Two different effects:
1) By not trying to lie or deceive Italian people, Silvio appeared as an honest, sincere person, who was not afraid to display his weaknesses and, by the way, is loving life and loving women really a weakness? 2) Many men, who also cheat on their wives or have affairs, saw their behaviour legitimized by an authority figure; i.e., the prime minister. If the highest official of the Italian government can do it, why can’t I? Maybe I am not so evil, this is ordinary behaviour, and everybody does it in the end. Women also, are often very intrigued by a man who can’t control his passions and must feed them continuously, even putting his political power in danger because of them. Power attracts women and a person with power who passionately loves women is a strong attraction for many of them. One famous Italian actress, Lory del Santo (the former wife of Eric Clapton, by the way), publicly proposed to Silvio as a lover, after his statements, writing a poem to him and telling him she could bring him to unattained before heights of pleasure. By using the principle of liking, Silvio saved face again and avoided the risk of being swept away by the scandal. Probably he did it on purpose, maybe not. What counts is that it worked!MarcoSome people have emailed me about the ethics on this article. Here’s what Marco shared with me: First of I all, it is my duty as an Italian citizen to specify that, culturally, in Italy it is NOT OK for the nation’s leaders to have this kind of behavior. Let us not forget we have the Pope and Rome has been the hearth of Catholic Church in the world for centuries now, which should give some hints about the morals standards over here…. On the other hand, I personally see the study of the principles of persuasion as a science, whose objective is to understand them and, at the same time, being able to use them and defend ourselves from them when used in an unethical way (like in this case). Knowing that Berlusconi is using the principle of liking, gives us the option to understand what he’s doing and seeing it for what it really is, beside the natural feeling of liking we can feel toward him, given by the power of this principle. In my article, I never say what he did was right or wrong, I am only observing it as a scientist, and then everybody can draw their own conclusions.Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.