Tag Archive for: Influence PEOPLE

Will You Be Making New Year’s Resolutions?

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Will you be making New Year’s resolutions in a few days? If so, then you’ll want to read on IF you want to have a realistic shot at making those resolutions stick. I blogged about this last year, but with so many new readers and so many people making New Year’s resolutions I thought it would be good to revisit this topic.If you Google “New Year’s resolution” you’ll find it’s generally defined as a commitment someone makes to do something, or stop doing something, in order to better his/her life in some way. Here are some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions people make:

  • Spend more time with family
  • Lose weight
  • Start exercising
  • Quite smoking
  • Quit drinking
  • Get organized
  • Get out of debt

In one study, 52% of people making resolutions were confident of achieving them yet only 12% actually did so. The list above is admirable so why are these goals so hard to follow through on for the vast majority of people? There are probably as many reasons as there are resolutions but we don’t need to spend time on them because you’ve probably heard just about all of them…and perhaps even used a few yourselves! As I did last year, what I’ll do is share an approach that might help you PAVE the way for success in the New Year.

When I write or talk about the principles of influence it’s typically to help people get others to say “Yes!” to them. But that’s not what I’m going to share in this post. In the study of persuasion there’s a powerful motivator of behavior known as “consistency.” This principle says that people feel compelled to act in ways that are consistent with their beliefs and values as well as what they’ve said or done in the past. When we act in consistent ways we feel better about ourselves and people perceive us in a more favorable light which adds to our authority.What I want to do is give you a way to tap into the principle of consistency that will motivate you to follow through on your New Year’s resolutions. Almost all resolutions involve forming or breaking habits so that means you have to start doing something regularly or stop doing something you’re currently doing. In either case the goal is to improve your life. We are going to take a look at consistency as it pertains to you and four simple ways to strengthen its use. These simple ideas will PAVE the way to your success because they’ll increase the odds that you’ll follow through on your New Year’s resolutions.

Public – Any time you make a public statement, whether verbally or in writing, you’re putting yourself on the line. The mere fact that another person knows your intention and might ask you how you’re coming along with your commitment is quite often enough motivation for people to follow through. Recommendation #1 – Share with another person or group of people, your New Year’s resolution and ask them to hold you accountable.Active – You have to actively do something. Merely thinking about a resolution but keeping it to yourself will lead to the same results as people who don’t make resolutions. In other words, nothing will change. This came to light in a study with a group of students who wanted to improve their grades. One group was asked to write their goals down, one group kept their goals in their heads and the last group had no specifics whatsoever. As you can imagine, the group with the written goals succeed, with nearly 90% of students increasing by a full letter grade! With the other two groups the results were almost identical. In each group fewer than 1 in 6 students improved a full letter grade. It’s worth noting, they were all given the same study materials. Recommendation #2 – Make sure you have to take some active step. It could be as simple as buying a book to help you learn more about the change you want to make.

Voluntary – This has to be YOUR goal, not someone else’s goal for you. If you’re trying to do something, like quite smoking, lose weight, or get in shape, it’s not likely your motivation will last if someone told you to do it. The goal has to come from you because if it’s forced on you it’s not likely your desire will last long. Samuel Butler said it best when he wrote, “He who complies against his will is of the same opinion still.” Recommendation #3 – Make sure it’s something you want to do.

Effortful – It was noted above that you have to actively do something. In other words, making the commitment should require some effort on your part. In fact, the more effort, the more likely you are to succeed. Something as simple as writing down your resolution can make a difference, even if you don’t share it with anyone. But, taking the time to share it also fulfills the public requirement which gives you more bang for the buck! Dr. Robert Cialdini puts it this way, “People live up to what they write down.” Recommendation #4 – Commit pen to paper and you’ll increase your chance for success significantly.

None of what I just shared is new but I’m willing to bet many of you have not taken many, if any, of the four steps listed above. Sometimes all it takes is to see things in a new and different light for it to resonate. If you’ve been one to make resolutions in the past and fail, then give this different approach a try. If you fail again you’re no worse off but this change in approach might just work for you. Good luck and Happy New Year to all of you!By the way, my resolution, goal if you will, for 2011 is to drop some weight. I’ve not watched my diet lately and I’ve gotten our of shape so I’ll make a public, active, voluntary, effortful commitment to get down from 215 lbs to 195 lbs by April 20th. Anyone care to publicly jump in with me on some goal? If so just add your comment below.Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

Parenting Made Easier with Influence

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Today, December 6, is our daughter Abigail’s 15th birthday. I can still remember looking at her in the crib thinking, “I can’t believe she’s been with us a hundred days.” Wow, does time fly! In just over three years she’ll be heading off to college and no matter where you are in the world you might hear me crying because I’ll miss seeing her every day.

To say that raising Abigail has been one of the biggest joys in my life would be an understatement. The only person luckier than me will be the man who spends the rest of his life with her. She is beautiful, fun, intelligent, has a great sense of humor, thinks deeply, is athletic and so much more. Jane and I have been very fortunate because for the most part she’s been an easy kid to raise. However, I also know some of that ease has been due to good parenting and that’s the focus of this week’s post.

I’m no child psychologist or parenting expert by any means but I have learned enough about psychology to effectively use the principles of influence in the process of raising Abigail. I believe that’s been incredibly helpful so what I’d like to do is share a few things I’ve tried and hopefully it will stimulate some ideas for you.

Liking – It’s not our job to be Abigail’s friend but it’s no secret that if your kids like you they’ll be more apt to do what you ask. We go out of our way to make sure she knows how much she’s loved and that certainly helps us as parents. For a really good parenting idea check out my post on something we call Special Day.

Reciprocity – Most parents give kids an allowance and we’re no exception. An allowance however doesn’t engage reciprocity because it’s a reward, not a gift. To engage this principle you need to be the first to act.

One way I effectively used reciprocity this summer was to give Abigail a raise in her allowance before I asked anything of her. I didn’t say, “If you’ll cut the grass I’ll give you a raise,” because she would have declined (she hates cutting the grass!). What I did was give her a raise then about a week later asked her to cut the grass. She protested a little until I said, “Abigail, I gave you a raise in your allowance and didn’t ask you to do anything. Can’t you help me out?” She cut the grass.

Consensus – This one is always at play with teenagers but most of the time parents are fighting against it because of “peer pressure” and Jane and I are no different. Rather than go into detail on on how we’ve handle the pressure to conform I’ll refer you to the post I wrote on helping teens deal with peer pressure.

Authority – It’s always good to have an outside expert come to your aid. One situation that comes to mind is eating dinner together. It’s become all too common for families to not eat dinner together and when they do it’s often in front of the television. I won’t tell you we eat together every night but we do most evenings because we know it’s a great way to stay connected. Referring to a simple fact from an expert, like most happy families eat together, helps deflect the common question, “Can’t we eat in front of the TV?”Here’s a funny, but not totally ethical, story. When Abigail was very little she didn’t like certain foods and our pleading with her didn’t help. One day Jane acted like Abigail’s doctor was on the phone. As soon as she said, “Abigail, Dr. Klinger says you need to eat your vegetables,” she ate them. Not ethical but effective because even as a little girl she knew he was an authority.
Consistency – I spend a lot of time talking to Abigail and have ever since I can remember. When something we ask her to do goes well I make sure to point that out because it acts as a mile marker down the road. The reason I do that is because it makes the next request easier. For example, I can say, “Abigail, you know I love you right? And you know mom and I want you to be happy and have fun, right? Last time we asked you to do [fill in the blank] it turned out well, didn’t it?” See where I’m going with this? I’ve built on a series of consistent “Yes” responses to get her buy-in. She knows we love her, that we want her to enjoy life and know we’ve given good advice in the past. Reminding her of those things makes it easier for her to say “Yes” to whatever we’re asking of her currently.
Scarcity – We try not to pull the threat lever too often but that is a legitimate use of scarcity. As parents we’ve all had to say, “If you don’t [fill in the blank] you’ll lose the privilege to [fill in the blank].” I do think effectively using the other principles of influence greatly reduces the need to have those kinds of tough talks with your kids. One area I was able to use scarcity was with club volleyball last year. Abigail wasn’t big on the idea of playing but I let her know if she didn’t there was probably no way she’d make the high school team. Knowing she was going to a new school where she didn’t know anyone we all agreed being on the volleyball team would be a good way to start the high school experience. Although she would have rather done things other than club volleyball she went ahead and played.
Please don’t think that using the principles is a surefire guarantee to hear “Yes” every time because it’s not. What I can tell you with confidence is that your children will say “Yes” more often if you effectively use the principles of influence – and all of this is backed by science and the understanding of human psychology. I encourage you to give it a try. It’s made our lives easier and I know it can do the same for you.PS The reason for the 4:38 AM post this week is because that’s exactly when Abigail came into the world 15 years ago. Happy Birthday Abigail, Love Dad!!
Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

A Thanksgiving Message to People I’m Thankful For

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In a few days most Americans will be celebrating Thanksgiving. There will be turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and lots more food to go along with a day of family and football. It’s the day we pause to give thanks for all the blessings in our lives. Rather than write a regular article I want to take this time to give thanks to many people who’ve been a blessing to me. That’s the principle of liking at work! I encourage you to click on some names and perhaps send a Facebook friend request, follow someone on Twitter or connect with them on LinkedIn because they’re all good, supportive, helpful people. That’s a big reason for my thanks! It’s not that they’re just good to me; I think it’s their nature so here’s a chance to hook up with really good folks if you want to expand your social network. I have to start with my wife Jane and our daughter Abigail. If you follow me on Facebook or have read this blog for any length of time then you know they’re fodder for much of what I write. They’re always great sports about it and they give as good as they get. You should take a look at some of our exchanges because they can be quite funny. When it comes to this blog I’d like to start by saying thanks to Sean Patrick, Marco Germani, Yago de Marta and Hoh Kim. These guys continue to help my readers get a worldwide perspective on influence and persuasion. To see what they have to say tune in on the first Monday of each month for the Influencers from Around the World series. Here are some other people who’ve been very helpful with this blog. George Black got me going on this blog simply because he encouraged me. Next is Mike Figliuolo who’s been a great resource for all my blogging questions. On several occasions I’ve written guest posts for Mike’s blog, thoughtLEADERS, and he’s returned the favor writing some posts for me. Then there’s Michael Franzese who’s provided some very cool drawings for Influence PEOPLE and designed my logo. To see more of his work and read some of his thoughts check out FranzeseInklings. There are lots of Twitter friends who retweet my stuff consistently: James Sims, Marcy Depew, Matt Fox, Maureen Metcalf, Anthony Iannarino, Paul Hebert, Aaron Schaub, Steve Miller, Warren Davies, Jon Wortman, Jim Canterucci, Justin Bryant, Stella Collins, Eldon Edwards, and James Seay. To follow any of them on Twitter just click on their name. Special thanks also need to go to several coworkers. First there’s Debbie Conkel who’s proofread my work for more than 15 years now. She takes her own personal time to read through every blog post for me. Next is my boss John Petrucci. I could not work for a better leader and friend. Imagine the most supportive boss you can then multiply it many times over. And then there’s Nancy Edwards, someone I look to for mentoring. It doesn’t matter if we’re face to face, on the phone or communicating by email; Nancy encourages me every time we interact. When it comes to getting stuff done on the influence side, Chris Cibbarelli is my point person at Dr. Robert Cialdini’s office, Influence At Work. No matter what I need, no matter how quickly, Chris is always there for me. To say she’s a joy to work with would not be a strong enough statement. Finally, I want to say thanks to all of you reading this today. Readership has now reached nearly 150 countries! That’s not something I expected in my wildest dreams when I started blogging. The best gift I could give you to show my appreciation would be to help you find the kinds of online relationships I’ve found. That’s why I hope you will take time to click on some names, start some conversations and make some connections. I know you’ll be glad you did. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

The Secret to Happiness

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As Thanksgiving approaches I thought it would be a good time to share something that I believe is a key to the secret to happiness. It’s appropriate at this time because it involves giving thanks and praise. The secret to happiness can be summed up in the following proverb, “Happy is the man who wants what he has.” I encourage you for just a moment to ponder these nine simple words:

Happy is the man who wants what he has.

Why do I believe this is a key to the secret to happiness? First, in life there are unlimited wants and desires but there’s no way they will all be fulfilled. If you allow your focus to dwell on what you don’t have or didn’t achieve that’s a sure recipe for discontentment.

Can you really choose your focus and impact your attitude? Psychologist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who spent three years in Nazi concentraion camps, believed you could and wrote in his classic book Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken away from a man or woman but one thing: the freedom to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

How does this tie into influence? As I’ve dwelt on that short phrase I’ve learned to make the choice to focus on what I have, not what I don’t have. I try to focus on the good and not the bad. I’m far from perfect when it comes to this but the more I practice as time goes by the better I get.

As for influence I believe focusing on “Happy is the man who wants what he has” ties into the principle of liking. This is a simple principle of influence we’re all familiar with; people generally like those who like them. When I teach about this principle something I share that causes people to pause and think is this; when you try to get someone to like you by tapping into similarities or offering up praise you begin to convince yourself that the other person is likable. In other words, the very same things that will probably cause them to like you will also cause you to like them. It’s a double whammy for your effort!

So how does this play out for me and how can it help you? If you follow me on Facebook you know I post lots of comments about my wife, Jane, and our daughter, Abigail. Most are meant to be funny and sometimes people who don’t know me think I’m living on the edge. I suspect they think I spend many nights sleeping on the couch as punishment for my humorous posts. But, I can honestly say they only nights spent on the couch were the ones where I fell asleep watching television.

What I also try to do with those Facebook posts is praise the ones I love. I’ve had many people comment on how much they can see I love both Jane and Abigail. Whether I post a nice comment, tell someone in person, or make sure to verbalize something positive to Jane or Abigail, liking begins to work on me. If I’m constantly telling people how wonderful, smart, funny, beautiful, etc., they are, don’t you think that makes me appreciate them even more? You bet it does!

Now let’s be honest, using an example of our significant other. There will always be someone who is better looking, funnier, or more intelligent. You can fill in the trait and there’s someone who is “more” than your significant other. However, we can still make the choice to focus on them and all that they are. I tell people if God had come to me and said I could make the perfect mate I would not have gotten someone as wonderful as Jane because I would not have been creative enough nor had enough faith in God. When I think of all I have with her I would not have believed that someone would really embody all that she does. The more I choose to focus on that, the more I appreciate and love her. Is she perfect? Nope, but then neither am I.

So I have a challenge for you as we approach Thanksgiving. Start making the choice today to focus on what you have. That could be your spouse, family, home, friends, job or anything else. Make the choice to focus on the positive and appreciate those people and things. I really believe if you do so, liking will work on you causing you to find more peace, contentment and happiness.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

PEOPLE – The Hope and Hurdle of Leaders

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Last month I had a wonderful opportunity to address a group of people at Franklin University’s monthly Hall Leadership Lessons breakfast gathering. What made the experience extra special for me was the fact that my mom, wife and daughter were all in attendance. As if that were not enough, I had about two dozen friends show up along with many co-workers from State Auto Insurance.

My talk centered on using scientifically proven ways to be a more effective leader. If you think about leadership it implies having people to lead — followers, if you will. As wonderful as it might look on the surface to be a leader, leading people is hard work! There are ups and downs, good and bad, positive and negative when it comes to being a leader because of the people.

I think you’d agree that no leader goes it alone and everyone who’s had a major impact on the world did so by leading others. Jack Welsh, former CEO of General Electric, said, “Nearly everything I’ve done in my life has been accomplished with other people.” Some of you reading this might be thinking, sure Jack Welch can say that because he ran GE and could simply tell people what to do or fire them. Not so fast!

Despite what people might think, very few leaders just tell people what to do. Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th president of the United States once said, “The only real power available to the leader is the power of persuasion.” Some people say the President is the most powerful person on earth and yet even the president has to win over voters, congressmen and senators.

So leadership happens through people and the best leaders are often the best persuaders. It all sounds good until we confront this reality, “Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you’re in business.” That statement was made more than 75 years ago by Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People. Don’t think this applies just to leading followers. While leaders primarily lead those who report directly to them, quite often they have to also get their bosses and peers to buy in to ideas. Now it’s getting complicated.

So when it comes to leadership people are our hope and our hurdle, our blessing and curse. Leaders will never accomplish great things without a strong supporting cast and getting that same supporting cast to buy into the vision and properly execute it is the ultimate challenge for the leader.

I like to say influence is all about PEOPLE – Powerful EverydayOpportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. Understanding Robert Cialdini’s six principles of influence will allow you to ethically leverage human psychology and make it much more likely to hear that word all leaders want to hear when they make a request of others — “Yes!”

The same day as the Franklin presentation I was interviewed by Audley Stephenson for his weekly blog, Hard Court Leadership Lessons. The focus of that conversation was also influence and leadership so if you’d like to learn more click here to listen to that interview.

Thanks for reading and a special thanks to those of you who took time to come down to Franklin University at 7:30 a.m. last month. I thank you for sacrificing a little sleep in order to learn how to ethically influence in order to be a more effective leader.

Brian, CMCT
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

I was so mad I could have spit!

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Not too long ago, I was so mad I could’ve spit! I really lost my cool, and that actually bothered me more than the situation that got me so upset in the first place. They say real wisdom is learning from others’ mistakes, so hopefully, you’ll be a little wiser having read this.

Let’s back up to the situation and start from there. It was really no big deal—a dead car battery in Jane’s SUV. Fortunately, it was parked at the house and not somewhere on the road. I tried to jump it but had no luck. AAA came out and got the car started, but as soon as we turned it off, it was totally dead again. They started the car one more time, and we let it run for quite some time to charge the battery a little.

Trying to be the dutiful husband, I told Jane I’d drive her car to Advance Auto Parts to get a new battery installed while she worked on dinner. As I drove away from the house, I had one thought in mind—don’t stall the car because I won’t be able to start it again.

Like most men, I thought I knew where I was going, but I ended up at the NAPA store, not Advance Auto Parts. That wouldn’t have been so bad except NAPA was closed. So much for my memory and my assurance to Jane that I knew where I was going! When I realized my dilemma, I called Jane because we’d looked up the store phone number online, so I knew she could easily pull it up and tell me where to go. As she was telling me, I started backing out of the NAPA lot and stalled the car! To make matters worse, it started to thunder and lightning.

So, there I am, having done exactly what I tried not to do—stall the car! Because the battery was dead, there was no air conditioning, and I knew I’d have to wait an hour or so before AAA would come. Great!

While all of this was happening, and curses were flying out of my mouth, Jane was still on the phone. I wasn’t mildly upset; I was totally pissed off. I used to have a really bad temper, and it’s gotten much better over the years, but every now and then it still raises its ugly head. While it’s usually directed at myself for making some kind of mistake, it’s not pretty to be around. It’s a part of me that I really, really dislike.

I usually start my day with this phrase: “This is the day the Lord has made, so I will be glad and rejoice in it. Today will be a good day because I will approach everything with a positive attitude, and I’ll learn from every situation.” Well, my attitude wasn’t so positive there in the NAPA parking lot, but I’m learning from it, and, as I said in the opening, I hope you do too.

Here was my big mistake—I focused on what I didn’t want to happen, which was stalling the car. I can’t remember the last time I stalled the car, but as I left the house, “don’t stall” was front and center on my mind. I should know better because I teach about this in sales courses.

Have you ever seen the television show Frasier? If you have, then maybe you recall the episode where Frasier and Niles tried to learn to ride bikes. Frasier struggled because every time he didn’t want to run into something, he kept his eye on it, thinking that would help him avoid the obstacle, but as you might guess, he’d always run into whatever he kept his eye on! He focused on what he didn’t want to do, and that’s what he ended up doing. Frasier’s dilemma is a picture of what occurs in our brains when we think “don’t…”

You see, the brain doesn’t process the “don’t” in a statement, but it does picture the object. For example, if I tell you, “Don’t think about elephants,” you will think about elephants, at least momentarily. Crazy as it sounds, the more you try not to think about elephants, the more you usually do.

To prove my point, I often ask golfers in my training sessions, “What do you think when you come to a hole with water?” The typical response is, “Don’t go in the water.” When I ask what happens most of the time, people laugh and acknowledge they often end up in the water. Why does that happen? Because the water is what they’re focused on, even though it’s prefaced with “don’t.”

So, what’s a person to do? Very simple: you need to focus on what you want to happen. For me, that would be easy on the golf course, but unfortunately, in the scenario I found myself in, I was blind to my own teaching. In a way, I was like the accountant who forgets to balance his checkbook, the investment guy who’s not saving enough for his own retirement, or the doctor who “occasionally” overeats. I failed to take my own good advice.

I think a couple of good things will come from this. First, because the situation was so emotional for me, I’ll probably catch myself before I make the same mistake again. The other good outcome might be you remembering my story next time you have to make a decision, and your choices are “what to do” or “what to not do.” Take it from me, focus on what you want and leave it at that. Doing so might just save you a big headache and a lot of time.

Brian Ahearn
influencePEOPLE
Helping You Hear “Yes”.

Persuading Personality Types: Survey Questions and Results

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From June 21, 2010 through June 30, 2010 I conducted a survey to try to determine the best influence approaches for different people based on personality type. In all, 265 people participated with the following breakdown by personality type:

Driver/Pragmatic – 96 (36.2%)
Influencer/Expressive – 63 (23.8%)
Amiable/Facilitator – 58 (21.9%)
Thinker/Analytic – 48 (18.1%)

Below are the 10 survey questions. After each question you’ll see the three possible answers. In parentheses is the principle of influence associated with the answer. Following each answer you’ll see the percentage of people in each personality category that chose that particular answer. The “Average” category is the overall percentage of all people that chose the answer regardless of personality type.

Q1 – There’s a popular movie out, one you’ve been thinking about seeing. Which would be most likely to get you to go?

a. A couple of good friends are going. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 59.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 68.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 74.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 60.4%
Average – 64.9%

b. Critics are giving it two thumbs up. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 17.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 14.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 27.1%
Average – 19.2%

c. It’s only in theaters till the end of the weekend. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 22.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 17.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 15.8%

Q2 – Which would be most likely to get you to go out to dinner?

a. The couple who invited you bought your dinner last time. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 10.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 4.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 10.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 9.5%

b. There will be a group of people which might make it more fun. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 43.2%
Influencer/Expressive – 66.7%
Amiable/Facilitator – 41.4%
Thinker/Analytic – 33.3%
Average – 46.6%

c. You’ve told your friends you want to spend more time with them so here’s your chance. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 46.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 28.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 48.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 54.2%
Average – 43.9%

Q3 – You’ve been considering buying a new laptop, one that’s on the more expensive side. Which most influences your buying decision?

a. A friend has the same laptop and loves it. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 13.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 20.8%
Average – 20.8

b. It’s rated as excellent in all the online reviews you’ve seen. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 64.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 42.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 62.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 56.3%
Average – 57.4%

c. It’s on sale but only while supplies last. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 21.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 23.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 22.9%
Average – 21.9%

Q4 – Someone is trying to set you up on a date with a friend of theirs. Which is the biggest reason you decide to go?

a. The person who is trying to set up the date is one of your closest friends. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 22.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 19.4%
Amiable/Facilitator – 19.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 12.5%
Average – 19.0%

b. Several friends know the potential date and have good things to say. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 31.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 46.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 43.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 45.8%
Average – 40.3%

c. A good friend reminded you this person has all the qualities you always say you’re looking for in a relationship. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 46.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 37.9%
Thinker/Analytic – 41.7%
Average – 40.7%

5. There’s a knock at the door and a little girl from the neighborhood is selling Girl Scout cookies. Despite promising yourself you were going to start watching your weight you order some because:

a. You remember this girl’s parents bought things from your child in the past. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 47.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 45.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 55.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 38.3%
Average – 47.1%

b. She tells you everyone in the neighborhood’s bought some so far and she only needs a few more sales to win a prize. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 16.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 22.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 24.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 19.1%
Average – 20.2%

c. You didn’t buy last time the girl was selling things so you told her to come back another time. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 35.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 32.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 42.6%
Average – 32.7%

Q6 – You’re married and your spouse asks you to do some light home repairs that might take several hours. You do them primarily because:

a. Your spouse does lots around the house so it’s the least you can do. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 69.8%
Influencer/Expressive – 77.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 68.4%
Thinker/Analytic – 77.1%
Average – 72.7%

b. Your spouse reminded you that other spouses generally do these kinds of things around the house to help out. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 3.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 1.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 3.5%
Thinker/Analytic – 0.0%
Average – 2.3%

c. You’re going on vacation soon so either you get the repairs done now or spend money on a repairman. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 27.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 20.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 28.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 22.9%
Average – 25.0%

Q7 – You get invited to a wedding and it’s the same weekend you planned to start your family vacation. The couple mentioned the date when they set it but you forgot about it when you planned this vacation. You decide to go and the biggest reason is:

a. The couple came to your wedding. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 5.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 11.1%
Amiable/Facilitator – 1.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 0.0%
Average – 4.9%

b. Several good friends from college will be there and they’re asking you to come and relive the good old days. (Consensus)

Driver/Pragmatic – 9.6%
Influencer/Expressive – 12.7%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 6.3%
Average – 8.7%

c. You’ve told them, “Absolutely we’ll be there” when they mentioned it shortly after setting the date. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 85.1%
Influencer/Expressive – 76.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 93.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 93.8%
Average – 86.3%

Q8 – You’re trying to decide about whether or not to leave the company you’ve been at for more than 10 years for a new opportunity. Which plays into your decision most?

a. A good friend works at the company you’re considering and it would be great to work with them. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 8.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 15.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 10.5%
Thinker/Analytic – 10.4%
Average – 11.0%

b. You read in several business magazines it’s one of the top companies to work for. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 54.2%
Influencer/Expressive – 42.9%
Amiable/Facilitator – 56.1%
Thinker/Analytic – 68.8%
Average – 54.5%

c. You know they only hire a handful of people each year into this prestigious training program. (Scarcity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 37.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 41.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 33.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 20.8%
Average – 35.5%

Q9 – You decide to buy a new car. Which of the following plays into your decision the most?

a. The salesman is an acquaintance who helped you out big time when he worked for a different company, one that did business with your company. (Reciprocity)

Driver/Pragmatic – 7.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 20.6%
Amiable/Facilitator – 5.2%
Thinker/Analytic – 10.4%
Average – 10.6%

b. The car has the highest consumer reports rating. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 81.3%
Influencer/Expressive – 69.8%
Amiable/Facilitator – 81.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 72.9%
Average – 77.0%

c. This is the last year for the body type you like. (Scarcity)
Driver/Pragmatic – 11.5%
Influencer/Expressive – 9.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 13.8%
Thinker/Analytic – 16.7%
Average – 12.5%

Q10 – Someone at work needs your help. You’re hesitant at first because you’re pressed for time before your vacation. You decide to work overtime and help mostly because:

a. It’s a long-time friend. (Liking)

Driver/Pragmatic – 34.7%
Influencer/Expressive – 36.5%
Amiable/Facilitator – 50.0%
Thinker/Analytic – 16.7%
Average – 35.2%

b. You were recommended by one of the senior managers because you’re one of the few people with the right technical background. (Authority)

Driver/Pragmatic – 27.4%
Influencer/Expressive – 33.3%
Amiable/Facilitator – 20.7%
Thinker/Analytic – 33.3%
Average – 28.4%

c. The person mentioned how valuable your input was on a similar project a few months ago and you want to maintain that reputation. (Consistency)

Driver/Pragmatic – 37.9%
Influencer/Expressive – 30.2%
Amiable/Facilitator – 29.3%
Thinker/Analytic – 50.0%
Average – 37.4%

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.

 

Persuading Personality Types: The Driver/Pragmatic

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We’re on the final group in our look at the best ways to persuade people based on personality type. Our final group is the driver/pragmatic and as the name implies, people in this category are “driven.” They thrive on challenges and have a strong intrinsic motivation to succeed. They are practical, focused and results oriented. They have the ability to get lots accomplished quickly. Pragmatics talk faster than most people, can be very direct and usually get straight to the point. Words that describe people in this category include: action-orientated, decisive, problem solver, direct, assertive, demanding, risk taker, forceful, competitive, independent, determined and results-orientated.

With 96 people (36%) identifying themselves as being the driver/pragmatic personality type, they were far and away the largest group taking the survey which I think is only logical. Think about the kind of person that’s going to read a blog on influence and persuasion – probably a driven person who looks for opportunities for self-improvement.

The second largest group was the influencer/expressive which should also come as no surprise. Leaders, people who need to persuade others, generally fall into the driver/pragmatic and influencer/expressive categories.

As I strongly suspected, the driver/pragmatic personality type is heavily influenced by the principles of scarcity, consistency and authority.

Scarcity

My original hypothesis with drivers was that scarcity would play a big role in persuading them. My reasoning was simple – drivers are used to winning, that’s why they’re usually successful so show them what they stand to lose and you can probably move them to action. The survey results showed this to be the case as this group on the whole was more motivated by scarcity than all the other groups. It’s not that they were always motivated most by scarcity on each question but they were more consistently motivated by this particular principle of influence, choosing it as an answer about a quarter of the time.The survey question I found most interesting was question 1: There’s a popular movie out, one you’ve been thinking about seeing. Which would be most likely to get you to go? Because this was really a social situation it should not be a surprise that most people chose the answer that had to do with liking (A couple of good friends are going) but significantly more drivers, as compared to the other personality groups, said they would go when they learned, “It’s only in theaters till the end of the weekend.” In fact, the ratio of drivers choosing this answer was nearly double the analytics and more than four times the percentage of amiables!

Consistency

Another thought I had about those in the driver/pragmatic group was this; their self confidence makes them believe they’re right so it might seem like they stubbornly hold to an opinion. If you can tie your request to what they’ve said or done in the past (principle of consistency) your odds of success will go up. As Richard Dawson used to say on Family Feud, “Survey says…Yes!” The group that was most motivated by consistency was the analytic/thinker followed by the driver/pragmatic. A full 50% of the time, drivers chose an answer having to do with consistency when that was a possible choice. When an answer dealing with consistency was available, drivers chose it about 10% more often than amiables and 25% more often than people in the influencer/expressive category. I found question 4 most interesting for this group because it was social:

Q – Someone is trying to set you up on a date with a friend of theirs. Which is the biggest reason you decide to go?
A – A good friend reminded you this person has all the qualities you always say you’re looking for in a relationship. Drivers responded to the consistency answer 46% of the time compared to 42% of the analytics, 37% of the amiables and just 32% of the influencers.

Authority

I was right on with my assumption about the principle of authority impacting the driver/pragmatic personality. My thought was this; they don’t care much what the crowd says because they tend to blaze their own trail and are willing to go it alone. However, cite a recognized expert or someone they respect and they’ll pay attention. When an answer dealing with authority was an option drivers responded to it just about half of the time and that figure would have been much higher but the percentage for question 1 about going to the movies had a very low response rate to the authority answer (critics are giving it two thumbs up).

Conclusion

What conclusion can we draw about people in the driver/pragmatic category when it comes to influencing them? I say with some pride, what I originally thought – tap into scarcity by telling them what they stand to lose if they don’t do what you’re asking. Bring to bear information from a person or source they recognize and respect to back up your assertion and if possible, incorporate their words or actions into what you’re asking. Bringing these three principles of influence to bear at one time could make if awfully hard for them to say “No” which means it’s much more likely for you to hear “Yes!”

Survey Wrap

So there you have it, my analysis of the personality/influence survey data. As I shared at the start of this project, I’m not a professional survey administrator nor am I a behavioral psychologist. Perhaps people in those fields will read this and take it several steps further. My goal was simple – to give you some easy to remember insights on a few ways to use the principles of influence in a more strategic way when you clearly know the type of person you’re dealing with. If you have thoughts on this subject I’d love to hear from you so just leave a comment below and I’ll respond as time permits.

Brian

Persuading Personality Types: The Expressive/Influencer

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Day three on the personality types and we’re going to look at the survey data for the influencer/expressive personalities. Expressive people are easy to spot because they outgoing, enthusiastic and operate with a high energy level. They’re idea people who sometimes struggle to see their ideas through to completion. If you need help you can usually count on them to come through. Expressive people enjoy socializing but can be slow to reach a decision. If you’re an expressive person then people might see you as a fast talker, dramatic and somewhat impulsive. Words that describe people in this class include: verbal, motivating, enthusiastic, convincing, impulsive, influential, charming, confident, dramatic, optimistic and animated.

There were 61 people (24%) who self identified as having the expressive/influencer personality on the survey. As a general statement, people in this group responded most to the principles of consensus, liking and reciprocity. This was very consistent with my gut instinct for this personality.

Consensus 

As the name implies, people in this group are influencers. They understand the power of the crowd because they’re usually the ones moving the masses to action. They can also see the benefit of being part of the group.The second survey question really stood out for this group: Which would be most likely to get you to go out to dinner? The overwhelming answer for the expressive people was – There will be a group of people which might make it more fun. More than 66% chose this as the reason to go to dinner, almost triple the response rate than for this answer – You’ve told your friends you want to spend more time with them so here’s your chance. Interestingly the drivers and amiables were pretty evenly split between those two answers. The expressive folks would rather have fun in a crowd than a small group. On two of the other questions where consensus was a possible choice people in the influencer/expressive category clearly chose the consensus answer more than the other groups and on one other question they were very close to being the top answer.

Liking

It makes complete sense to me that expressive people would be motivated by liking too. As the category name implies, they like to express themselves and often that’s talking about themselves – their accomplishments, likes, dislikes, etc. If you talk with someone of the expressive/influencer type, connect on similarities, offer up sincere compliments and ask questions that will allow them to talk. If you can do this you’ll have a better chance to move them in your direction.

Q – You’ve been considering buying a new laptop, one that’s on the more expensive side. Which most influences your buying decision?

A – A friend has the same laptop and loves it.

A third of the expressive type said the friend would be their main reason for buying the laptop. Consider this; every other group chose that answer about 20% of the time or less. That means 50% more expressive people listed this reason than did the other groups. The other groups were much more motivated by authority than were the expressive/influencers.

Reciprocity

Here’s another motivating principle that makes total sense. People in the expressive/influencer group have lots of friends. One way to build your network of friends is by offering help and engaging reciprocity. Because they understand the value of favors they play by the rules and respond to those who’ve done favors for them.Question 6 was interesting:

Q – You’re married and your spouse asks you to do some light home repairs that might take several hours. You do them primarily because:

A – Your spouse does lots around the house so it’s the least you can do.The vast majority, nearly 73%, responded to the “because my spouse does lots” but the highest percentage came from the influencer/expressive people.

Conclusion

What conclusion can we draw about people in the influencer/expressive category when it comes to persuasion? After you’ve surveyed the situation for what’s naturally available, specifically look for ways to leverage liking, consensus and reciprocity. If authority, consistency and scarcity can be worked into your influence attempt, then by all means do so and you’ll know you’ve taken the right steps to be as persuasive as possible.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping you learn to hear “Yes”.

 

Persuading Personality Types: The Facilitator/Amiable

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Up today are the results for the facilitator/amiable individuals. Folks who fall into this group are dependable, loyal and easygoing. They prefer things, people and activities that are non-threatening and friendly. They don’t like dealing with impersonal details or cold hard facts. It may surprise you to know facilitators are usually quick to make decisions. Others often describe amiables as warm people who are sensitive to the feelings of others.

Words that describe the facilitator/amiable are: patient, loyal, sympathetic, team person, relaxed, mature, supportive, stable, considerate, empathetic, persevering, trusting and congenial.

Of those that took the survey, 58 people (22%) considered themselves amiable. When compared to the average response rates, people in this group responded most to the principles of liking, authority and consensus.

Liking

Because amiables are nice, easy going people who focus on more on relationships than tasks it’s probably no surprise to anyone that the principle of influence that would impact them the most would be liking. Liking is important with everyone but much more so with these folks and the influence/expressive type.

The first survey question really stood out: There’s a popular movie out, one you’ve been thinking about seeing. Which would be most likely to get you to go? For each group the overwhelming answer chosen was – A couple of good friends are going. For the driver and analytic about 60% said that was their reason for going to the movies but three out of four amiables said this was why they’d go.

The other question that was noticeable was the last on the survey:

Q – Someone at work needs your help. You’re hesitant at first because you’re pressed for time before your vacation. You decide to work overtime and help mostly because:

A – It’s a long-time friend.

Half of the amiables said they’d stay late for the long-time friend where the average for all people taking the test was slightly more than a third.

Authority

I have to admit I was surprised by the data that showed authority was a big motivator for amiables. The choices for all groups, except the influencer/expressive, were above 50% when the question involved money (buying a laptop or car, changing careers). In fact, with each of those questions the percentage of amiables choosing the authority answer exceeded the average for all groups.

When it came to buying the car the overwhelming percentage of people taking the survey were inclined to make a choice based on consumer reports, an authority. While 71% of the influencer/expressive and analytical/thinkers stated this as their reason, a whopping 81% of the amiable/facilitator and driver/pragmatics based their buying decision on the recommendation from an authority.

Consensus

The other principle that deserves mention for the amiable/facilitator group is the principle of consensus. My initial hypothesis was that consensus would be a big motivator for people who are also motivated by liking. My thought was the amiable would be the kind to go with the flow and want to get along with everyone. I still believe this is true although my data had it third on the list. I had one question that was truly a dud when it came to consensus.

Q – You’re married and your spouse asks you to do some light home repairs that might take several hours. You do them primarily because:

A – Your spouse reminded you that other spouses generally do these kinds of things around the house to help out.

For this question the average person chose this answer 2% of the time (6 out of 265 people). It could be that many people taking the survey were not married but I suspect the conversation in the house where someone “reminds” you what other spouses do would probably produce resentment. If I’d done a better job giving a reasonable choice on this one I suspect there would have been many more choosing the consensus answer.

Conclusion

So what do I conclude about people who fall into the amiable/facilitator group? Again, start by look for naturally occurring principles. When you have the opportunity to plan ahead for a persuasion situation involving the amiable/facilitator, look for ways utilize liking, authority and, based on my hypothesis above, consensus in your communication. As for the remaining principles – reciprocity, consistency and scarcity – the data showed these to be about equal when it comes to motivating the amiable. If one of these remaining principles fit well into the situation then go for it. Keeping these simple tips in mind will increase your odds for success.

Brian
influencepeople
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.