If you’re married, then you might relate to this joke. A wife was asked how she knew when her husband was wrong. She replied, “His lips are moving.” 

As someone who’s been married for quite some time, I can relate to this. I often feel as if my wife Jane asks my opinion on something…just so she can confirm going in the opposite direction. It could be an outfit she’s trying on, the color of a paint for the house, or ideas for kitchen remodeling. It seems that whatever I like she goes in the opposite direction. I did overcome this once using reverse psychology.

As I reflected on this, and what’s transpired over the last few years, I have to admit; I’m wrong quite often. It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong, but it can be very freeing. Here are a handful of times when I was flat out wrong.

• As I watched the NFL playoffs on Sunday and saw the Cincinnati Bengals defeat the Kansas City Chiefs, I was reminded that early in the season the Bengals were the only team in their division I thought had no chance at making the playoffs. Now they’re going to the Super Bowl. Wrong!
• Early on in the pandemic I mistakenly believed Covid would be nothing more than a very severe year of flu deaths. Boy was I wrong!
• When the pandemic hit, I thought realtors would be in for a world of hurt. After all, who would commit to a 15 or 30-year mortgage not knowing if they would have a job given the state of the world? Wrong again!
• I thought many other sales, for example automobiles, would go down the tubes because people would be afraid to spend their saivings with an uncertain future. Wrong once again.
• Seeing so many people hold out on going back to work, I assumed there would be an influx of workers when PPE payments stopped late last year. I never anticipated how many people would voluntarily retire from the labor force. Yes, I was wrong.

I don’t think I would be incorrect to guess many of you reading this were wrong on a lot of things too when it came to the pandemic and its impact on our lives.

But, something I’ve learned when it comes to persuasion is this; when you admit weakness, or times when you’re wrong, you gain credibility as someone who is honest. Done the right way, this can even lead to better odds of influencing people. 

I do believe most of us are probably wrong, or not 100% correct, on far more than we realize during the course of any given day. It doesn’t make us deficient; it means we’re human. I liken it to stepping on a scale that’s wrong but whether it’s 5lbs too heavy or 5lbs too light, if you step on the same scale every day you will get a gauge as to whether or not your weight is going up, down, or staying the same. In other words, even when we’re wrong so often, we figure out how to make life work.

As I wrote earlier, it’s freeing to be able to admit that you don’t have all the answers and that sometimes you’re just wrong. If you need more examples of when I was wrong, just sit down with my wife for 10 or 15 minutes and she’ll gladly add to this list. 

Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His new business parable, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is now available.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.

You probably didn’t expect me, a guy who teaches influence for a living, to write, “Please stop trying to persuade me.” I write that because not every conversation has to revolve around convincing, influencing, or persuading someone to your way of thinking.

If you went out to dinner you wouldn’t expect the meal for free. You might even proactively ask for the bill. You know in that setting paying is what’s expected of you. However, if you came to my home for dinner you wouldn’t offer to pay me, and I would not expect you to. That’s because there are certain unwritten social rules most of us come to know and practice. 

Depending on your occupation, your success may revolve around persuading people to your way of thinking. That’s okay but know when to turn it off. I’m willing to guess if you had a friend who was in sales you wouldn’t want them trying to “sell” you on their way of thinking each time you got together. 

Or how about that friend who turns everything into a competition? It gets old really fast and soon you find yourself steering clear of the person just to avoid inevitable competition. 

I’m tired of these sayings:

 “We’re always selling.” 

“Everything is negotiable.” 

“Life is a competition.”

I’m sure you have some you’re sick of hearing or reading about too. All of this smacks of Alec Baldwin, the smarmy sales manager in Glengarry Glen Ross, when he said, “Always be closing.” 

Coming out of the holidays I’m sure many of you can relate to uncle Joe who’s always trying to convince you why the democrats (or republicans) are wrong as you tried to eat your turkey and watch a ball game. Or maybe it’s aunt Sally giving you her version of who’s going to heaven and who is not when you just wanted to enjoy opening presents.

Please stop trying to persuade me and others about things we just might not care about or may not have the same passion around that you do. Instead, why not try enjoying us and let us enjoy you for a change?

Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence. 

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His new business parable, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is now available.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.

 

Welcome to 2022! It has to be better than 2020 and 2021…doesn’t it? Yes, it will be! Whether or not our political and societal factions can put their difference aside, no matter what happens next with the pandemic, you and I can make personal choices each day to enhance our lives and the lives of others.

I hope when December 31 rolls around that you can look back on 2022 and say, “It was my best year ever and each year going forward will be even better!” But, to make that happen we have to continue to dedicate ourselves to professional and personal growth. I hope I can be a resource to help you in both areas.

Sincerely,

Brian

What’s Influence PEOPLE all about?

•       Why – Help you enjoy more professional success and personal happiness.
•       How – Teach you the science of ethical influence.
•       What – Speak, write, train, coach, and consult.
•       Who – Clients include leaders, salespeople, business coaches, insurance professionals, and attorneys.

Here’s What’s New…

Writing

I’m proud – and relieved – to let you know that my third book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, came to fruition in early December. You can get your paperback or Kindle version on Amazon.

The book is a business parable designed to teach you about influence and the positive impact it can have on your life. You’ll learn the personal and professional application of influence as you follow the journey of John Andrews. John is an ordinary person who becomes an extraordinary influencer as he learns lessons from coworkers, mentors, coaches, and many others throughout his life and career.

Podcasts

I added several new shows to my podcasting page during the quarter and recorded quite a few that will appear in the first quarter of the new yearHere are a few episodes you might be interested in:

• Jason Mefford is a great example of the power of social media. When I was in California several years ago we met in person. He invited me back on Jamming with Jason to talk about professional success and personal happiness as outlined in The Influencer. You’ll meet some of the book characters and people they are based on as you watch and listen to this episode.
• Jason Cooper invited me back on the show to do a livestream event with the publication of my new book. We had a great time talking about some of the people I based characters on. Click here to check out the LinkedIn Live event.
• I had a great conversation with David Carothers and Kyle Houck on the The Power Producers Podcast. We talked influence, sales, and insurance. If you’re an insurance producer click here because you don’t want to miss this one!

Best of…

More of my favorites for you to read, listen to, and watch. Some of my choices you might not like or agree with, but I would encourage you to be open minded and give them a chance because they will stretch your thinking and challenge your assumptions.

Books

You Have More Influence than You Think by Vanessa Bohns. I heard Vanessa on the Behavioral Grooves podcast and was immediately drawn to her research. Because you’re reading this newsletter you’re obviously interested in influence and persuasion. This book will encourage you because Vanessa shows through multiple experiments that you’re more likely to hear “Yes!” when you make a request than you might think. In fact, we’re often twice as successful as we might guess because people don’t like to say no and they generally want to be helpful. Two thumbs up!

Business Model Generation by by Alexander Osterwalder and Yves Pigneur. I did an in-depth review of this book for a short course I created for Emeritus. The book will help you build, or rethink, your business model. It doesn’t matter how small or large your company may be, given all the change in the world over the last two years, it’s worth the investment of time and effort to work on your business model. What worked in the past may not going forward and, like any living organism, businesses either adapt to the changing environment or die. One last note, the book is visually stunning so get a physical copy.

Podcasts

Armchair Expert is cohosted by Dax Shepard and Monica Padman. I owe a big thanks to my wife Jane for turning me on to this show. She regularly listens to it on her monthly drives to and from Pittsburgh. Dax is funny, smart, and comes across as someone you’d enjoy having dinner with and Monica, a good friend of his, plays off of his persona quite well. The show has a guest list of who’s who in sports, entertainment, and politics. Whether they’re interviewing President Obama, Daniel Kahneman, or Oprah Winfrey, Dax and Monica treat them like regular people and ask the kinds of questions you and I might ask. It’s a fun, informative show you can find on Spotify.

Hidden Brain is hosted by Shankar Vedantam. The website states, “The focus of his reporting is on human behavior and the social sciences, and how research in those fields can get listeners to think about the news in unusual and interesting ways.” I’ve listened for years and can tell you that you’ll hear a variety of guests and topics. Shankar does an excellent job teasing out learning in a story format.

Watch

Both of my recommended shows caused a lot of controversy on both sides of the political and social aisles last year. I’m of the opinion, when so many people are talking about something so passionately, I should probably watch/read/listen to for myself so I can make my own assessment. What I’ve come to find out is, most people who have an opinion haven’t watched, read, or listened for themselves. That’s why I read Robin DeAngelo’s White Fragility and Ibram X. Kendi’s How to be an Anti-Racist. I’m glad I watched both of the shows noted below and hope you’ll give them a chance so you can make up your own mind.

The Closer by Dave Chapelle is a Netflix special. Oh boy, did Dave stir the pot! If you are familiar with Chapelle then you know he will be politically incorrect and quite crude at times. He’s equal opportunity when it comes to this, calling out any person or group, to make his point. However, unlike many comedians who resort to crass humor just to get a laugh, Chapelle has a message that runs throughout this show. You make not like or agree with Dave’s message but he’s trying to make a point and comedy is his canvas.

Colin in Black and White by Colin Kaepernick also aired on Netflix late last year. Kaepernick has been in the forefront of American social justice since first taking a knee during the national anthem before an NFL game in 2016. Like Muhammad Ali was in the late 60s and early 70s, Colin is loved and admired by many, and hated and vilified by others. He almost lost me during the opening of the show when he compared the NFL combine to a slave auction. But, I’m glad I was able to set that aside to find out what life was like for him growing up because it shaped his view of society. His experience mirrored some people I know well.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller in several categories. His third book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is now available.

Brian’s LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.

Each year around Christmas I share a variation of this post. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus is the greatest salesman who ever lived!

Why do I believe Santa is the ultimate salesman? To start, he has a couple of success stories most of us can’t compete with. First, he’s successfully run the same family business for hundreds of years. There’s something to be said for stability, especially over the long haul.

Second, Santa has a client base that expands every year — no matter the state of the global economy.

Can your business make those claims?

But those aren’t the reasons I believe Santa is the greatest salesman who ever lived. Contrary to what you might think, his success doesn’t come from his business savvy. After all, consider the obstacles he has to deal with.

• Business attire: Santa obviously doesn’t buy into the “dress for success” philosophy. Power suits are fine but a red suit and hat, both lined with fur, is a little over the top in today’s casual business environment.
• Delivery system: Santa’s remains way behind the times here. His “One Day Delivery” is literally that – you get your packages one day a year. He doesn’t seem to notice in today’s economy people want what they want, when they want it, and that usually means now. But the real problem behind “One Day Delivery” might just be his delivery method. I think you’d agree the U.S. Postal Service, FedEx, or UPS would be much more efficient than eight tiny reindeer pulling a small sleigh.
• Manufacturing: Some say Santa’s operation is too labor-intensive to survive much longer. After all, he’s competing with Wal-Mart, Amazon, Apple, and other giant organizations. In today’s marketplace, how can any business can get by without automating? Perhaps if he automated a process or two he’d have enough inventory to open this store more than one day a year.
• Efficiency: I realize Santa gives his product away for free but that doesn’t mean it costs him nothing. He has all those elves and reindeer to take care of. Food and lodging are bad enough but health care costs have to be crushing his profit margin! And, what about worker’s compensation costs? If he automated at least he’d save a little money and might be able to take Mrs. Claus on a nice vacation – somewhere warm for a change!
• Branding: All companies change their branding to fit the times and Santa might want to consider doing the same. After all, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!” has gotten a bit old and stale over the centuries.
• Orders: I think Santa could fill orders much faster if only he’d set up a website. And how about replacing all those last minute letters with email, text, instant messaging, or a Twitter account? It has to be painfully slow for him to read all those handwritten letters.

So, all this begs the question, “Why is Santa so successful…in spite of himself?” In business if you continually land new customers and retain the old ones then you’re doing something right. Here are six reasons Santa continually attracts new customers and retains all his current ones:

 

1. He loves his job! Perhaps, “Ho, Ho, Ho,” is his corporate culture and not just some slick branding slogan.
   – Could you do the same job day after day, year after year, for most of your life, and remain so upbeat and jolly?
2. He genuinely cares for his customers. His goal is to meet everyone’s needs and all he hopes for in return is to see joy on their faces. He personifies what it means to be customer focused.
   – Do you get joy from serving your customers?
3. He gets to the personal side of selling. Granted he’s not always accessible but he doesn’t expect clients to come to him. When he’s at his absolute busiest, with his deadline approaching and delivery date nearing, he can be seen everywhere talking with his customers. How he can be in so many places at one time I’ll never know.
   – How often do you initiate contact with your customers, even when it’s inconvenient for you?
4. He creates an experience. A toy is just a toy, except when it’s from Santa. Because it only comes once a year and will be found under the tree on Christmas morning it creates anticipation and builds excitement! That’s so much better than getting something online or from some mail order catalog.
   – Do you create an experience for your customers?
5. He adds value. When people hear the word “free” they often think “cheap” or wonder, “What’s the catch?” Even though Santa gives his products away we love what he gives us mostly because it comes from him. Don’t you have a few things you value above all others because of the person who gave it to you?
   – Do your customers see you adding value?
6. He delivers on his promise. Santa does what he says and always delivers; no excuses, no extra charge, always on time!
   – Can your customer count on you to be that consistent?

 

So there you have it, six reasons behind the success of jolly old St. Nick. Did you notice that everything Santa does is within your power to do with your customers? That’s right, there’s no reason you can’t do the same things Santa does. And here’s some welcome news for most of you – you don’t have to wear a silly red uniform while you do those things!

I hope you enjoyed this post and that you and your loved ones have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller in several categories. His new book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is now available on Amazon.

Brian’s LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.

 

I’m excited to let you know The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness is now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Dale Carnegie rightly said, “About 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering.” Much of that human engineering comes down to your ability to ethically influence people.

Follow the life journey of John Andrews – an ordinary person who became an extraordinary influencer – as he learns how to influence people from mentors, coaches, clients, and colleagues.

As you read The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness you will learn 7 secrets that will propel you from ordinary to extraordinary when it comes to your ability to influence people. What you learn will raise your emotional IQ and help make you a better salesperson, coach, and leader. But that’s not all; it will help in all of your personal relationships. Here’s what you’ll learn along the way with John:

• The influence process to ethically get to YES more often
• How to employ Robert Cialdini’s proven principles of influence without being manipulative
• Ways to identify and DEAL with different personality types
• Five steps to tap into the power of active listening
• Three keys to building better relationships
• How to help people move past uncertainty and take action
• The magic of words like because, but, and however

Make no mistake about it; the ability to ethically influence people is a skill anyone can learn, practice, and perfect. Let John Andrews show you how to do that then reap the success and happiness that comes with it.

I hope you’ll pick up a copy for yourself or someone you know.

Brian Ahearn, CPCU, CTM, CPT, CMCT

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, he’s one of only a dozen people in the world personally trained by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by BookAuthority. His second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller in several categories. His new book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is now available on Amazon.

Brian’s LinkedIn Learning courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 400,000 people around the world.