“Am I a bad person?” That’s the provocative question Nike poses in its latest commercial, “Winning Isn’t For Everyone.” The ad features rousing music, William DeFoe’s deep, ominous voice, and clips of some of the most well-known athletes in the world. Nothing inherently wrong with that, right?

Well, the problem lies in the characteristics of some champions that Nike attempts to glorify. The commercial promotes a lack of empathy, respect, selfishness, mania, obsession, delusion, and having zero remorse.

I hope you’d agree, none of these are qualities we’d want to see in ourselves, our loved ones, friends, or coworkers.

Somehow, we seem to give athletes a pass for embodying these traits in their pursuit of excellence in sports. But are we fooling ourselves into thinking that to become champions, we must adopt such negative characteristics? People often dismiss these behaviors by saying, “It’s just sports,” or “It’s just a game.” However, sports today is big business.

Can you imagine any other industry celebrating leaders for having zero remorse, lacking respect, and empathy, or being maniacal and obsessed? It’s ludicrous. No one would want to work with, or for, someone with those characteristics climbing the corporate ladder.

Would you want a doctor who displayed these characteristics in their quest to be known as the best? Would you want a teacher, financial planner, or boss who lacked empathy and respect? The answer is obvious.

Yet, we seem to accept athletes who embody these traits. Many of our politicians display similar characteristics, and we can see the negative impact on society. Let’s not fool ourselves; kids and young adults are watching these ads. This reminds me of the old television commercial where Charles Barkley said he wasn’t a role model. Regardless of his claim, Barkley was a role model because people observed and emulated him.

How does this tie into influence? Social psychologist Vanessa Bohns, a Cornell professor and author, explores this in her book, You Have More Influence Than You Think. It’s true that most of us have more influence on the world because of what we say and do than we realize. This is especially true for athletes who are constantly in the public eye.

Aspiring athletes look up to these sports heroes. How many kids will watch the Nike ad and gravitate toward these qualities because they want to be like their idols? We see it even at the youngest levels, where young athletes now display attitudes and actions that were considered unsportsmanlike when I was growing up.

Some people might argue that these are just words in a commercial and don’t cause harm. However, we know that words have power. “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never harm me” is a saying that doesn’t hold water anymore. Today, many believe that words can indeed cause harm and silence can be equally damaging when we don’t speak up against what’s wrong.

What Nike is promoting is wrong and will do more harm than good in the long run. Jesus said, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” In today’s terms, we might ask, “What does it profit an individual to win a championship or gold medal and lose themselves in the process?”

Many athletes have reached the pinnacle of success only to ask themselves, “Is this all there is?” There’s much more value in being a good person—someone loved and respected, who loves and respects others—than in being a champion for a brief moment.

Let’s strive to embody and promote qualities that truly make us better people, not just better athletes. Let’s influence society positively, showing that real success includes empathy, respect, and integrity.

I invite you to share your thoughts. Do you believe that promoting such negative characteristics in sports can have a broader impact on society? How can we, as influencers in our fields, ensure that we set the right example for the next generation? Your comments and insights are welcome!

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 725,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

“I was encouraged by my friend to do something that is normally a bit of a drudge. Done together, it was fun and easy,” my good friend and book coach, Barbara Grassey, shared in a recent email.

Think about it. Jesus said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” He invites the weary to come alongside Him for rest. 

Simon Sinek wrote Together is Better. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

What’s the common thread here? Unity.

Dr. Robert Cialdini first introduced Unity as a principle of influence in his 2016 book, Pre-suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. He admitted this principle had always been present but was hidden beneath the surface.

Humans are inherently social creatures. Even the most independent among us are part of an intricate web of connections. Consider something as simple as the food on our table. It involves farmers, store employees, and countless others. Our lives are intertwined in countless ways.

Unity is deeper than just liking someone. It’s about a shared identity, a sense of “we-ness.” You can feel unity with people you don’t know well and may not even like. My father served in the Marines and spoke of men he didn’t like but would have died for because they were brothers in arms.

Think about family. There are things we’d do for relatives, even those we’re not particularly fond of, that we might not do for our closest friends. Need a kidney?

When unity is present, it trumps all other principles of influence. Why? Because it’s like helping yourself. This shared identity makes us more willing to support each other because each benefits in some way from the transaction.

So how can we harness this principle in our everyday lives and work? Here are some practical tips:

1. Shared Goals and Values: Highlight common goals and values. Whether it’s in a team meeting or a sales presentation, emphasizing shared objectives fosters a sense of unity.
2. Inclusive Language: Use language that reinforces togetherness. Words like “we,” “us,” and “together” can create a powerful sense of belonging.
3. Team Activities: Engage in activities that build camaraderie. This could be team-building exercises, group projects, or even social events outside of work.
4. Acknowledge Contributions: Recognize and celebrate individual contributions to the collective effort. This reinforces the value of each member within the group.
5. Create a Shared Identity: Develop a sense of identity within your team or organization. This could be through branding, mission statements, or shared rituals and traditions.

The Power of Unity in Action

Incorporating the principle of unity can transform how we influence and persuade. Here’s a real-life example: At State Auto Insurance, we introduced the principle of unity in our training programs. We emphasized how each employee, regardless of their role, contributed to the company’s success. This sense of shared purpose was encapsulated in the phrase, ESSA – Everybody Sells State Auto. It not only boosted morale but also improved performance across the board.

Another powerful instance is from my time with Travelers Insurance. We used personality styles to understand and connect with colleagues and clients. By recognizing and respecting different styles, we fostered a sense of unity that made our interactions more effective and harmonious.

Applying Unity in Sales

In sales, unity can be a game-changer. Imagine you’re selling insurance. Instead of just focusing on the product, you highlight how choosing your insurance company or agency makes the client part of a larger, supportive community. This shifts the focus from a transaction to a relationship.

When dealing with different personality types, unity can be tailored to fit their preferences. For instance, with Amiables, emphasize the supportive and caring community they’ll be part of. For Drivers, focus on how being part of your client base aligns with their goal of achieving success.

Unity in Leadership

As leaders, fostering unity can lead to more cohesive and motivated teams. Encourage collaboration, create shared goals, and recognize everyone’s contributions. Unity is not just a feel-good concept; it’s a strategic approach to building stronger, more effective teams.

Conclusion

Unity is a powerful principle that can enhance our influence in profound ways. It’s about more than just getting along; it’s about creating a shared identity and purpose. By incorporating unity into our daily interactions, we can build stronger connections, foster collaboration, and ultimately, achieve greater success together.

Let’s embrace unity and transform how we influence others. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. How have you seen unity make a difference in your life or work?

Remember, unity is about creating a sense of belonging and shared purpose. Use it to enhance your influence and watch the positive impact it has on your relationships and success.

Written with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 725,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

A few weeks ago, I wrote “A Tale of Two Talks: A Lesson in Biases.” It was about commencement speeches given by Harrison Butker and President Joe Biden. The gist of the article was this: most people commented without having listened to either speech. They simply piggybacked off of information that was being posted on social media that fed their confirmation bias.

I came across another post recently that’s worth sharing because it plays into the contrast phenomenon. This psychological concept alerts us to the reality that we can shape how people think about things, depending on what and how we present information.

The post I saw was being circulated on Facebook. It read, “Kroger‘s profit was up 35.6% from ‘22 to ‘23. Publix was up 49% from ‘22 to ‘23. That’s why food prices are so high!”

We’ve certainly lived through an inflationary period unlike any other over the last 40 years. Much of the ire is being directed against large corporations. The claims are price gouging, record profits, and exorbitant profit margin increases. As you might imagine, the post fanned the flames of angry grocery consumers.

While there’s always a chance that those factors are causing price increases, generally, free-market competition keeps prices down over the long haul. That’s because individuals and organizations enter markets where there are excessive profits. That entry tends to create more competition, which leads to lower prices, and profits tend to shrink.

The post aroused my curiosity, so I decided to look into the Kroger and Publix profits from 2022 to 2023.

Kroger’s profits rose from $2.2 billion in 2022 to $2.4 billion in 2023. That’s an increase of 9.1%, not 35.6%. Kroger could have invested their money in the stock market and likely made a better return than they did selling groceries. From a ChatGPT query:

• 2021: Net income of $1.7 billion. (A decrease of nearly a billion dollars from the previous year)
• 2022: Net income of $2.2 billion.
• 2023: Net income of $2.4 billion.

What about Publix? The company did see a large increase from 2022 to 2023. Net earnings went from $2.9 billion to $4.3 billion. That’s a whopping 48% increase! However, a little digging showed why they saw such a big increase and should make you realize Publix is not gouging anyone. From a ChatGPT query:

• 2021: Publix’s net earnings were approximately $4.4 billion, reflecting continued strong performance and growth​​.
• 2022: Net earnings were about $2.9 billion, showing a decrease compared to the previous year. The decrease was influenced by higher costs and other operational challenges​.
• 2023: Publix’s net earnings rose to $4.3 billion, a 49% increase from the previous year, due to improved operational efficiencies and increased sales​​.

The interesting thing about Publix is that the company is 80% owned by their employees. If you want to say Publix is gouging consumers, then you’d have to lay some of the blame on their workforce—regular consumers like you and me.

I scrolled through the Facebook post to look at the comments, and it was apparent that no one did any digging into the facts. It was a free-for-all pile-on about how greedy corporations are taking advantage of us during a rough economic time. Fortunately, that’s not true, at least with Kroger and Publix.

It does beg the question, why are food prices so high? There are too many factors to go into here, but certainly, supply chain interruptions, the cost of fuel, the higher cost of labor, and many other things are contributing to the rise in prices that we’re experiencing. However, that’s not the point of this post. As I encouraged you in the previous article, take a moment to do a little research on your own. When you find out the truth, you might want to alert people; otherwise, misinformation will continue to fan the flames of fires that we’re often starting ourselves.

Let’s open a discussion. Have you come across posts that made you curious enough to dig deeper? What surprising truths have you uncovered? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.
As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

When it comes to effective sales, I teach clients how to apply the principles of persuasion throughout the sales cycle. I take this approach because hearing “yes” at each step is crucial; without it, you won’t move forward. This is especially true in prospecting because without a “yes” here, you won’t secure that coveted first meeting.

Recently, my perspective on using the principles of influence when prospecting has evolved. Typically, I emphasize three principles in prospecting: authority, social proof, and scarcity.

Authority

People tend to follow trusted experts. Do you highlight your expertise or your organization’s reputation in your prospecting? Without demonstrating expertise, why would anyone take a meeting?

Social Proof

We’re inclined to follow the lead of similar others. Does your prospecting show how you’ve helped organizations similar to your prospect? If you’ve helped similar companies succeed, prospects will naturally assume you can probably help them too.

Scarcity

We want what we can’t have. Does your prospecting emphasize what makes your product or service unique? It might be the unique combination of features that makes your offering desirable. If you frame that uniqueness in terms of what the prospect is missing, you’re more likely to hear “yes.”

Tommy Changed My Thinking

I usually don’t advocate for using reciprocity in prospecting because often, the giving feels superficial. Pens, stationery, or items with your logo often come across as marketing ploys rather than genuine gifts. However, one individual changed my perspective on gift giving when prospecting for new clients.

Listening to Tommy Shaff at Influence Amplified was eye-opening. Tommy excels at engaging reciprocity in prospecting like no one else I’ve seen!

Personal, Meaningful, and Unexpected

Tommy doesn’t just give things away. His gifts are personalized, tailored to an individual’s likes. 

His gifts are meaningful too. In other words, they hold real value as opposed to generic giveaways.

Perhaps most importantly, Tommy’s gifts are unexpected. This adds a wow factor. For example, during his talk he shared how he gave a children’s book to a prospective client. That seems odd except for the fact that Tommy did his research and knew this book would mean something to the individual.

He didn’t stop at the gift; he personalized it by inserting the prospect’s picture throughout and added handwritten notes on many pages. The extra effort was obvious, and as a result, Tommy secured the meeting.

Your Giving

I challenge you to reflect on your giving, whether for prospecting or other purposes. Are your gifts personalized, meaningful, and unexpected like Tommy’s? If you incorporate these elements, your chances of getting a “yes” to your meeting request will increase dramatically.

Engaging reciprocity effectively means giving something of real value that resonates personally with your prospect. It shows that you’ve invested time and thought, which can compel them to reciprocate by agreeing to a meeting.

By rethinking how you use reciprocity in prospecting, you can create a more impactful and genuine connection with potential clients. Try to make your gifts personal, valuable, and surprising, and watch how these thoughtful touches open doors for you in your sales efforts. 

Let’s help each other by sharing experiences and ideas on how to engage reciprocity effectively in the comments. How have you used personalized gifts in your prospecting, and what results did you see? I look forward to reading your stories!

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

“Witness the compelling journey of a Marine Vietnam veteran, Brian Ahearn Sr., grappling with PTSD, and its profound impact on his family. His Story, My Story, Our Story unveils the raw experiences of combat and its aftermath through the parallel perspectives of Brian Sr. and his son, Brian Jr., illuminating the resilience of Marine families while addressing the unspoken emotional challenges faced by military families. This powerful memoir serves as a beacon of hope and resilience for those navigating love, duty, trauma, and legacy.”

The Book is About…

You may have seen that ad on Meta over the last month. It’s generated quite a bit of buzz and interaction. I’d like to share a few more details around the book that might interest you.

My father wrote extensively about his time in the Marines. You’ll read his firsthand accounts about why he went into The Corps, his experiences in boot camp and officer candidate school, time in Vietnam, and his return home.

I kept detailed journals during high school and college so you’ll read about my reflections on the often violent arguments and what was going through my 15-year old mind the day my father moved out. 

What Are Readers Saying?

I originally started writing the book to help Marines and their families. However, it’s not limited to those two groups. Veterans in any branch of service, their families, as well as fathers and sons will benefit from reading about our journey.

Ultimately the book is about faith, grace and reconciliation. Here are a few comments from people who read advanced copies of the book.

“The book really hit home for me. I cried through some of it. Very relatable — it helped me understand my dad better honestly – so thank you.”

“I’m personally very grateful for you sharing such intimate stories – it’s helpful for me, and for my dealings with my family, and I am sure it will help all those who read it – whether in uniform or not.”

“I received healing from this, and am actually heading to Idaho at the end of this week to spend some time with my father.”

If you’d like to learn more about the book, visit my website.

Preorder

The book is set to release on June 4. It’s currently available for preorder on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million. 

Book Signing 

Do you live in Central Ohio? If so, stop by the Easton Barnes & Noble location June 9, from 1-3 PM, where I’ll be doing a book signing.

Brian Ahearn 

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!