His Story, My Story, Our Story

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“Witness the compelling journey of a Marine Vietnam veteran, Brian Ahearn Sr., grappling with PTSD, and its profound impact on his family. His Story, My Story, Our Story unveils the raw experiences of combat and its aftermath through the parallel perspectives of Brian Sr. and his son, Brian Jr., illuminating the resilience of Marine families while addressing the unspoken emotional challenges faced by military families. This powerful memoir serves as a beacon of hope and resilience for those navigating love, duty, trauma, and legacy.”

The Book is About…

You may have seen that ad on Meta over the last month. It’s generated quite a bit of buzz and interaction. I’d like to share a few more details around the book that might interest you.

My father wrote extensively about his time in the Marines. You’ll read his firsthand accounts about why he went into The Corps, his experiences in boot camp and officer candidate school, time in Vietnam, and his return home.

I kept detailed journals during high school and college so you’ll read about my reflections on the often violent arguments and what was going through my 15-year old mind the day my father moved out. 

What Are Readers Saying?

I originally started writing the book to help Marines and their families. However, it’s not limited to those two groups. Veterans in any branch of service, their families, as well as fathers and sons will benefit from reading about our journey.

Ultimately the book is about faith, grace and reconciliation. Here are a few comments from people who read advanced copies of the book.

“The book really hit home for me. I cried through some of it. Very relatable — it helped me understand my dad better honestly – so thank you.”

“I’m personally very grateful for you sharing such intimate stories – it’s helpful for me, and for my dealings with my family, and I am sure it will help all those who read it – whether in uniform or not.”

“I received healing from this, and am actually heading to Idaho at the end of this week to spend some time with my father.”

If you’d like to learn more about the book, visit my website.

Preorder

The book is set to release on June 4. It’s currently available for preorder on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million. 

Book Signing 

Do you live in Central Ohio? If so, stop by the Easton Barnes & Noble location June 9, from 1-3 PM, where I’ll be doing a book signing.

Brian Ahearn 

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

 

You Never Step In The Same Stream Twice

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“You never step in the same stream twice.” I first heard this saying from my long-time friend and former coworker, Loring “Pud” Mellein, an avid fisherman. At first, it didn’t make much sense to me. Pud explained that although a stream may look the same on the surface, the water is constantly moving, making the stream never truly the same.

Culture

This got me thinking about company culture. Where Pud and I worked for decades, the culture was outstanding until the end. At State Auto Insurance in the 1990s and early 2000s, the word “family” was often used to describe the culture. People who joined tended to stay for a long time. Every time I visited a regional office for training, it was a slightly different. Some people left for new opportunities or retired, and newcomers were gradually absorbed into the existing culture. Like a stream, the company looked the same, but its culture changed subtly with each new person. That’s because the newer folks were more transformed by the culture than the culture was transformed by them.

However, major strategic changes can dramatically alter a company’s culture and they can do so rather quickly. When State Auto decided to pursue new strategic directions rapidly, as opposed to gradually, many new people with different skill sets were brought in to achieve these goals. In doing so, the culture began to shift rapidly. It was like a heavy rainstorm changing the course of a stream or turning the stream into a river with rapids.

If you read my recent post about the late Tim Kight, you know my view on culture, which I learned from him. Culture is how people experience your organization. These experiences stem from behaviors, which in turn come from beliefs. When you bring in many people with different beliefs in a short time, behaviors change, and so does the experience.

Culture isn’t inherently good or bad; it’s about whether it delivers the experience the organization needs to be successful. Different companies in the same industry can have vastly different cultures and still thrive because they create the internal and external experiences necessary for success.

Case Study

In the case of State Auto, the cultural shift didn’t work out. While the company was named the best-managed insurance company in the industry by Forbes in 2005, by July 2017, on its 100th anniversary, it was acquired by Liberty Mutual. The stream that was fished in by agents for 100 years was diverted, and the familiar culture was gone.

Some companies navigate strategic change successfully, building a culture that aligns with their new direction. Unfortunately, State Auto wasn’t able to accomplish that. The decision to shift from what the company was traditionally good at—writing homes, autos, and smaller business accounts with a focus on agency relationships—to chasing larger accounts and going all-digital didn’t work out. We didn’t have the right people to execute these strategies. It was like expecting a football team built for passing to suddenly excel at running the ball.

The company wasn’t built for the strategic changes we undertook, and even bringing in lots of new people couldn’t overcome that. The company culture also moved away from an agency focus built on strong relationships which made it difficult to thrive in the new strategic direction.

Conclusion

Company culture, like a stream, is always changing. But dramatic shifts in strategy and personnel can change it rapidly and fundamentally. To navigate these changes successfully, it’s crucial to have the right people and a clear understanding of how to align your culture with your strategic goals. Reflect on your organization’s culture:

  • Is it aligned with your current strategy?
  • Are you prepared for the changes that come with new strategic directions?
  • How has your organization managed cultural shifts?
  • What strategies have you found effective in aligning culture with new directions?

I encourage you to share your experiences and thoughts and comments because your insights could help others navigating similar challenges.

Edited by ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.
As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

The Highlight Of My Career

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I have to say, it was the highlight of my career.

The Backstory

My relationship with Dr. Robert Cialdini goes back more than 20 years. I was introduced to his work when a coworker, Nancy Edwards, gave a video to me and my boss, John Petrucci. It was Cialdini presenting at Stanford’s Breakfast Briefings.

I was immediately intrigued with Cialdini’s presentation for three reasons. First, the psychology he spoke about, I immediately knew was the foundation of selling. Second, I was intrigued that everything he shared was rooted in research. And third, I appreciated his stance on ethics, that you could influence people in non-manipulative ways.

I begin to use the video around the company, showing it then having conversations about its application. During that time, I signed up for Stanford’s marketing because they appeared to have many other helpful resources.

One day, while browsing one of their marketing flyers, a big picture of Dr. Cialdini caught my eye. Above it, in bold letters, it read, “Best Seller!” Below the headline, again in bold letters it said, “Call it Influence, Persuasion, or even Manipulation.”

How could they have done that? Cialdini was so clear in his presentation about non-manipulative ways to move people to action. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Stanford’s misstep needed to be addressed. I emailed Stanford and wrote, “I don’t know anyone who wants to be manipulated, nor do I know anyone who wants to become a good manipulator. That one word cannot be helping your sales, but it’s probably really hurting.”

Connecting with Cialdini

I never heard from Stanford, but sometime later my phone rang at work. It was a representative from Dr. Cialdini’s office. She called to thank me on Cialdini’s behalf, letting me know Stanford was changing the marketing of his materials because of my email.

Before we hung up, she told me that Cialdini traveled around the world to speak about influence and if my company ever needed a guest speaker, she’d be happy to share more. I replied, “I sit next to the woman who plans our events and books our speakers. Would you like to talk with her?”

As fate would have it, in the summer of 2004 Dr. Cialdini was in Columbus, Ohio several times to address the insurance agents that represented our company. It was during that time that I went through his two-day Principles of Persuasion workshop. After three years of patience and persistence, I finally got the green light from my boss to go back to Arizona to get certified in Cialdini’s method of influence.

The rest is history. More than five years ago I left my corporate job to pursue Influence PEOPLE full time. It’s been awesome!

Influence Amplified

All of that led to last Friday, when I had the opportunity to do two presentations at Influence Amplified. The conference was a celebration of the 40th anniversary of Dr. Cialdini releasing his New York Times best-selling book, Influence. This gave me the opportunity to present in front of Dr. Cialdini, his wife Bobette, and his longtime friend and business partner, Dr. Gregory Neidert.

It was the highlight of my career because it was a chance for me to give back, to show Cialdini how I’d absorbed his work over the last 20 years, and how I was using it to positively influence people. Not only have I been able to help people improve their professional lives, but in many cases, and more importantly, their personal lives.

When I opened my presentation, I thanked Dr. Cialdini and let him know that his work changed the course of my career, but more importantly, the course of my life. It changed how I relate to my wife, how we raised our daughter, and how I interact with people inside and outside of work. It was a very emotional moment for me.

During my influential coaching presentation, I shared stories about opportunities I’ve had to positively influence people I’ve coached and worked with. As I reflected on those people, and the changes in their lives, I got emotional several more times.

Displaying emotion, especially on stage, has never been easy for me. However, I’ve learned to not push it away. The more I embrace the emotions in the moment, I’ve come to see that people appreciate the authenticity.

In addition to giving back to Dr. Cialdini, it was gratifying because I’ve never had so many people come up to me after a presentation to thank me and tell me how much it moved them.

Professional and Personal Success

During my career, it’s always been my hope to make a difference for people professionally and personally. That’s been part of my personal mission statement for more than 30 years. When it comes to Influence PEOPLE, my “Why” is to use ethical influence to help people enjoy more professional success and personal happiness.

Having the opportunity to impact people last Friday, and to thank Dr. Cialdini, was truly the highlight of my career.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Remembering Tim Kight: A Legacy of Influence and Integrity

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This weekend, I learned the sad news about the passing of Tim Kight, a person who had a big impact in my professional and personal journey. Tim, the founder of Focus 3, lost his battle to cancer, leaving behind a legacy that touched countless lives, including mine.

His son Brian shared on social media, “My dad, Tim Kight, died peacefully in his sleep last night. He was many things to many people, felt even by those who never met him, such was his presence. But to me, he was just Dad. And that was everything. I love you, Dad.”

My connection to Tim began through an introduction by our mutual friend, Jim Hackbarth. I was immediately drawn to Tim’s insights as I dove into his videos and podcasts, where he and Brian would dissect concepts like culture, character, and responsibility.

Our interactions deepened when I invited Tim to deliver a keynote for the leadership team at State Auto Insurance. That engagement blossomed into a broader collaboration with Focus 3, impacting many within the organization.

Tim taught me that “culture” is more than a buzzword. He defined it simply: Culture is the collective experience shaped by individual behaviors, which are themselves rooted in deep-seated beliefs. This flow from Belief to Behavior to Experience, he explained, is also the foundation of character—how others experience us based on our actions driven by our convictions.

Perhaps Tim’s most profound contribution was his E+R=O equation—Event + Response = Outcome. It’s a formula that emphasizes our power to shape outcomes through our responses to the events around us, a principle Tim embodied courageously during his fight with cancer.

Beyond the business lessons, Tim was also a spiritual man. We often exchanged messages about faith and literature. One significant recommendation from him was Dallas Willard’s Renovation of the Heart. This book profoundly affected my faith journey, and it’s no coincidence that I was rereading it as Tim passed.

Though our direct interactions were few, their impact was profound. I had always hoped for more time with Tim, but circumstances like scheduling conflicts and the pandemic limited our meetings. Nevertheless, I am immensely grateful for the wisdom he imparted, which I endeavor to pass on to others.

As I reflect on Tim’s life and legacy, I’m comforted by the belief that he has been welcomed into Heaven with the Lord saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Reminders…

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.
As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Embrace Humility to Turn Perceived Weakness into Strength

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I’ve always been a fan of Adam Grant, soaking up his wisdom through his books and eagerly reading his newsletters. This week, one piece resonated deeply with me, underscoring a lesson I’ve emphasized in my role as a Cialdini trainer for years.

In his piece on job interviews—In a Job Interview, This Is How to Acknowledge Your Weaknesses—Grant discusses a candidate who openly acknowledged her lack of qualifications in her application. Instead of glossing over her weaknesses or inflating her capabilities, she embraced humility. Yet, she didn’t stop there—she pivoted to highlight her unique strengths that could benefit the company despite her acknowledged shortcomings.

This approach aligns perfectly with the Cialdini principle of authority, which leverages expertise and trustworthiness. Revealing a weakness early on can paradoxically enhance your credibility; it shows your integrity and helps build trust. No one is perfect, and admitting this can make you seem more relatable and trustworthy. The same goes for products or services you may present.

However, acknowledging a weakness is only half the battle. The art lies in conversationally transitioning to your strengths. The use of connectors like “but” or “however” plays a crucial role here. These words act as pivot points, subtly diminishing the impact of the weakness and amplifying the strengths that follow.

Consider your personal relationships. When a partner or family member says, “I love you, but…,” you intuitively brace for what comes after “but”. Similarly, in a professional context, phrases like “but” and “however” prepare the listener for a compelling counterpoint, ensuring your strengths leave a lasting impression.

One of my favorite examples of this technique in action is Warren Buffett’s candid admission to shareholders about a very poor year by any company’s standard but espeicailly by Berkshire Hathaway’s given their decades long historic performance. In “Last year we lost $3.77 billion, however…” I wrote about Buffett’s openness regarding Berkshire Hathaway’s year-end loss, followed by a strategic pivot to focus on how well the company had done over the previous 28 years. It exemplified how effectively acknowledging shortcomings can set the stage for highlighting the positive and influencing the listeners.

So, what should you take away from this? Whenever you’re in a position to influence—be it in a presentation, a sale, or a negotiation—start by honestly assessing and stating the drawbacks in your case. But never stop there! Next, strategically pivot to your strengths using connectors that shift the attention and focus of the other party. This method not only enhances your persuasiveness but also fosters a genuine connection rooted in trust and respect.

I’m grateful to Adam Grant for sparking this reflection on such a critical aspect of communication. I’ll close with these questions for your reflection:

  1. How have you successfully navigated the presentation of your weaknesses in professional settings?
  2. What strategies have you found most effective in transitioning these into strengths?

Edited with ChatGPT

Reminders…

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

That was Awkward: A Story about Reserving Judgment

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A few weeks ago, I made my way to The Governor’s Cigar Lounge for our monthly gathering—whisky, cigars, and deep conversations with a couple of close friends. This tradition has become one of my favorite times of the month, a chance to connect over family, careers, aspirations, and to encourage each other’s growth.

However, this particular day was different. It wasn’t the usual light-hearted start to our time together because it was overshadowed by the sobering news that one of my friends, let’s call him John, had been diagnosed with cancer. Nobody is ever ready to hear that news and rarely are friends and family able to process it either.

An Awkward Moment

As we processed the news, Alan, an acquaintance from the lounge, approached. He mistook another friend of mine, Mark, for a different friend—also black, from California, and in construction. John, never one to shy away from calling out the awkward, flippantly said, “That’s Brian’s other black friend. He has two black friends.” A strained chuckle followed.

Alan, perhaps realizing his blunder, excused himself to grab a cigar. Yet, unexpectedly, he returned, asking to join our table—a bold move given the discomfort we’d all just felt. We welcomed him, unsure of how things might unfold.

A Sudden Change

As we resumed talking, Mark shared that his sons had started their own businesses. Alan, seizing a moment of connection, offered his mentorship, recalling his early days and the guidance he received. He handed Mark his business card saying, “Someone helped me early on and I like helping people. Tell your sons to call me and I’ll give them an hour of my time every month to talk about business.” This generous offer visibly moved Mark, bridging the gap that had occurred earlier.

The conversation deepened when Alan shared his own battle with cancer, providing not just advice, but hope to John, who was in the beginning stages of processing his own diagnosis. This exchange transformed the evening from one of somber news to one of unexpected support and solidarity.

Reflections

Reflecting on the evening, I was reminded of the power and necessity of reserving judgment. Alan’s initial mistake could have easily defined our interaction. Instead, his subsequent actions painted a fuller picture: a man eager to support and connect, embodying the kind of everyday generosity we often overlook.

We all have our moments—missteps that could invite judgment. But what if, instead, they opened doors to deeper understanding and connection? What if we chose to see the best in each other more often?

I share this story not just as a reminder of the good that can emerge from awkward beginnings but as a call to action: Reserve judgment. Offer Second Chances. Stay open to the transformations that patience and empathy can foster. Your next awkward moment could be the beginning of something beautiful.

Conclusion

Next time you’re quick to judge based on a first impression or a minor misstep, remember this story. Think about what opportunities for connection and help might lie beyond that initial judgment. In our fast-paced, often superficial world, taking a moment to understand and connect on a deeper level can make all the difference, both in personal relationships and in broader community interactions.

Let me end with this question: Have you ever been surprised by the depth of a relationship that started off on the wrong foot?

Edited by ChatGPT

Reminders…

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

We’re All Marginalized and Marginalizers

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In a world that often feels increasingly fragmented, I’ve been thinking about a simple, yet profound truth: we’re all marginalized, albeit in vastly different ways and to varying degrees. Every day, our news feeds are inundated with stories of division and the targeting of various communities and individuals. Aside from the blatant conscious choices, a subtle form of marginalization persists through our unconscious biases – those preconceptions we’re not even aware we hold until a light is held up to them.

Learning from Reflection

Consider a moment from my own life. I once told my daughter, Abigail, that she was “throwing like a girl,” to which she immediately replied, “That’s because I am a girl!” This exchange was a wake-up call for me, highlighting how easily we can unintentionally diminish others, even with seemingly innocent comments.

My journey through life – as a white, older male, and Christian – has not been without the sting of prejudice directed towards me, either. It’s a complex reality, one that my sister once unwittingly touched upon, lamenting the dominance of “old, white males” in leadership roles. While her critique wasn’t directed at me, it caused me to reflect on how we all, regardless of our background, crave respect and understanding.

The Principle of Reciprocity

This reflection leads me to one of my teachings on influence: the principle of reciprocity. I often encourage people to “Give what you expect.” If it’s kindness, empathy, or respect you seek, then let those virtues be the first you extend to others. While not everyone will respond in kind, the principle of reciprocity assures us that many will mirror the behavior they’re shown first.

Gandhi’s timeless advice, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” has never felt more relevant. It’s a call to action for each of us to become architects of the world we wish to inhabit. This isn’t to say that we can simply wish away the hatred, violence, or bias that seems so prevalent right now. Instead, it’s a recognition that while we can’t control others, we have immense power over the energy we bring into our interactions.

Choosing a New Perspective

A shift in perspective can be transformative. Imagine if, instead of scanning our environments for grievances, we sought out the goodness in those around us. A choice like that has the potential to not only uncover unexpected joy but to fundamentally alter our experiences and interactions for the better.

In a world often dominated by what divides us, it’s crucial to remember the impact of our actions and words. Calling out injustice is necessary, but so is doing so in a manner that fosters understanding and growth, much like my daughter Abigail taught me.

Change is a journey, one that involves cultivating love, kindness, and respect. It’s a path that offers endless room for growth, should we choose to embark on it. As we navigate the complexities of our world at this moment in time, let’s remember the power of our choices and the impact they have not just on our lives, but on humanity. Here’s to choosing kindness, embracing empathy, and fostering a community where every individual feels valued and respected. Together, we can be the change.

Edited by ChatGPT

Reminders…

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Quarterly Newsletter

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I hope 2024 is off to a great start for you professionally and personally.

Lots has been taking place with me as I facilitate learning opportunities for new Cialdini Certified Coaches. I’ve also been working on an in-depth sales course for the Cialdini Institute. More on that to come.

Suffice it to say, life and business are good!

Best of luck for an even better Q2 for you!

Sincerely,
Brian

What’s Influence PEOPLE all about?

  •       Why – Help you achieve more professional success and enjoy more personal happiness.
  •       How – Teach you the science of ethical influence.
  •       What – Speak, write, train, coach, and consult.
  •       Who – Clients include leaders, salespeople, business coaches, insurance professionals, and more.

Here’s What’s New…

Speaking

My first quarter included speaking and training with some wonderful organizations and people in Las Vegas, San Antonio, Columbus, Minneapolis, and San Jose.

The second quarter has trips schedule to Denver, Cleveland, Phoenix, Bismarck, Dallas, and potentially more locations.

Writing

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, The Thinkers50 #1 Executive Coach and New York Times bestselling author of The Earned Life, Triggers, and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, has this to say about the His Story, My Story, Our Story…

“His Story, My Story, Our Story is a poignant exploration of the enduring bonds and turbulent waters of a father-son relationship through the lens of military service and personal growth. Ahearn’s heartfelt narrative weaves together the values of The Corps, the complexities of family dynamics, and the transformative power of forgiveness and understanding. This book stands as a compelling tribute to the sacrifices of Marine families, offering readers a deeply personal, yet universally relatable, journey of resilience and redemption.” –

June 4 is the official launch date, but the book is currently available for pre-order at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and other sites. It will also be in bookstores.

The book details my father’s time in the Marines and Vietnam, my life, and our story. But it’s not just about service, it’s also about the challenges that come with father and son relationships. Visit the website to learn more and order your copy.

 

In Case You Missed It…

A few weeks ago I highlighted in upcoming conference, Influence Amplified. The special event will be May 10-11, in Phoenix, AZ. This is a rare opportunity to not only see Dr. Cialdini live, but also his long time partner at Influence At Work, Dr. Gregory Neidert. In addition to Cialdini and Neidert, I will be presenting along with fellow Cialdini Method Certified Trainers (CMCTs), Bas Wouters and Dan Norris.

If you attend, you’ll gain new insights in ways to apply behavioral science to ethically reach your goals. More specifically, you’ll learn the science-based insights you need to succeed when it comes to:

👉 Hearing “YES!” more frequently,

👉 Raising conversions and accelerating growth, and

👉 Ways to set yourself apart and build stronger relationships.

To register before it’s sold out, click here.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Life Lessons from 60 Orbits around the Sun

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Today, as I celebrate my 60th birthday, I find myself reflecting on the experiences and life lessons that have shaped my journey thus far. It feels like just yesterday I was a young man and now, here I am, embarking on my 61st orbit around the sun.

Reflecting on the past, particularly the fun memories of my teenage years, college days, dating Jane, and the birth of Abigail, fill me with gratitude. The passage of time brings to mind my late father’s 60th birthday celebration, a milestone that once seemed so distant, is now my reality!

The passing of my father over three years ago serves as a poignant reminder of how fleeting life is, especially in the wake of Covid and all the lives it cut short. With our daughter now married, I find myself looking forward to the future with hope, eagerly anticipating grandchildren and more fun adventures with Jane.

To celebrate this significant occasion, I’m sharing seven life lessons that have helped me enjoy a fulfilling life, one that I consider successful and happy. I hope they inspire you to find greater success and happiness in your own journey. 

  1. Love Unconditionally: My relationship with God and the unconditional love I’ve experienced, and strive to give, have been my anchor. This divine love has taught me to accept myself, embracing my strengths and weaknesses with grace.
  2. Serve Others: Placing others before myself, especially my family, has brought me immeasurable joy. Learning how to love and serve beyond my immediate circle has also enriched my life with purpose and happiness.
  3. Choose Positivity: Inspired by Viktor Frankl’s resilience, I’ve learned the power of focusing on the positive in people and situations. This mindset has transformed my interactions with others, and led to many unlikely relationships.
  4. Pursue Your Passion: My diverse interests, from bodybuilding to marathoning to martial arts, have taught me the value of loving what you do. This passion has made every effort enjoyable, turning goals into the energy to pursue things I cherished with even more intensity.
  5. Consistency Over Time: Embracing the principle that success is a marathon, not a sprint, I’ve seen how consistent effort over time can lead to remarkable achievements. This long-term perspective has been crucial in both my personal and professional growth. 
  6. Work Diligently: Hard work is indispensable. Whether in the gym, at the dojo, or in my endeavors with Influence PEOPLE, I’ve learned that there’s no substitute for giving your all to every task. As my old high school football coach used to say, “If you don’t have time to do it right, where are you going to find the time to do it over?”
  7. Be Kind to Yourself: Finally, I’ve learned the importance of self-compassion. Acknowledging my limitations and celebrating my achievements without dwelling on my mistakes has been liberating.

As I embrace this milestone, looking back with satisfaction and forward with anticipation, I’m reminded of what an incredible journey life is. My heart is filled with gratitude for the lessons learned, the love shared, and the blessings received. Here’s to embracing the future with an open heart and an unwavering commitment to making a positive impact on the world.

As I share these reflections, I hope they resonate with you and perhaps inspiration as you pursue your own path to happiness and success. Here’s to many more years of growth, love, and meaningful influence.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Here’s Your Chance to See Dr. Cialdini Live!

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A Celebration!

Would you like to see Dr. Robert Cialdini live? Here’s your chance…so don’t blow it because you’ll regret it!

In the past, your opportunity to see “The Godfather” of influence was limited to special invite only events and corporate conferences. Not so with Influence Amplified.

In celebration of the 40th anniversary of Cialdini’s New York Times best-selling book, Influence: The Science of Persuasion, there will be a first of its kind in the U.S.

Influence Amplified is a two-day, in-person event featuring Dr. Cialdini and other Cialdini trained experts.

Your Presenters

Not only will you hear from the good doctor, you will also gain influence insights from Dr. Gregory Neidert (Cialdini’s partner at INFLUENCE AT WORK), Bas Wouters (CMCT and CEO of the Cialdini Institute), and Dan Norris (CMCT and Vice President of Talent Development at HOLT CAT).

I’m excited to let you know that I will lead two sessions on day 1:

👉Enhancing the Coaching Experience via Influence Awareness

👉Elevating Sales Success with Persuasion Science

What You’ll Learn

You will gain new insights in ways to apply behavioral science to ethically reach your goals. More specifically, you’ll learn the science-based insights you need to succeed when it comes to:

👉 Hearing “YES!” more frequently,

👉 Raising conversions and accelerating growth, and

👉 Ways to set yourself apart and build stronger relationships.

Event Details

– May 10-11
– Arizona Grand Resort & Spa
– Phoenix, AZ

What are you waiting for? Click here to learn more and register before it’s sold out.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!