Quarterly Newsletter

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Welcome to 2025! The older I get, the faster time seems to fly by. It’s like going down a slide because feels like time accelerates. I enjoy the start of the new year because it feels like fresh possibilities. I know, January 1st is really no different than any other day but there are days when we are more likely to start new things. The first day of a week, month, or year, are some of those days. If you want proof, pick up a copy of Dan Pink’s book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing.

By the time you read my next newsletter, Jane and I will be grandparents! Our daughter Abigail and her husband Tyler are expecting in March. We’re eagerly anticipating the arrival of Pancake. Abigail and Tyler are not going to find out the sex (some surprises in life are worth waiting for) so I nicknamed the baby. I came up with that when I texted Abigail about grabbing coffee one morning and she responded, “Baby wants pancakes.” 😊

I hope 2024 was a great year for you and that 2025 proves to be your best so far. That won’t happen without goals and hard work so get get after it starting today!

Sincerely,
Brian

What’s Influence PEOPLE all about?

  •       Why – Help you enjoy more professional success and personal happiness.
  •       How – Teach you the science of ethical influence.
  •       What – Speak, write, train, coach, and consult.
  •       Who – Clients include leaders, salespeople, business coaches, insurance professionals, and more.

Here’s What’s New…

Speaking

Last quarter I was in Melbourne, Australia to work with a client. When I left my corporate role, one goal was to travel the world to teach people about ethical influence. I checked that box! Not only was the trip great on a professional level, but it was also personally. Jane joined me and we stayed for two weeks. We explored Melbourne, drove the Great Ocean Road, saw amazing wild life and snorkeled with dolphin. Amazing!

My calendar is filling and Q1 has me in Denver, Tucson, and Columbus for speaking events. I’m also doing lots of work with the Cialdini Institute as I help a cohort become Cialdini Licensed Trainers.

Writing

His Story, My Story, Our Story, came out June and I continue to be overwhelmed by the feedback. I’ve spoken about the book at a few corporate book clubs and hope to do more in 2025 because of the impact the book is having.

The book delves into my father’s time as a Marine Captain in Vietnam, the impact those experiences had on my life, and our relationship. If you’ve not already picked up your copy, visit Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Books-A-Million. If you have read it, an Amazon review would be greatly appreciated.

One reader wrote:

“Brian Ahearn’s book is an absolute gem one-two combo! First, is an honest, touching family history illustrating the power of love and loyalty. Brian, a taekwondo black belt, former athlete, and entrepreneur, opens up about his life in a very relatable way. Page-turning, emotional reveals kept me highly entertained on a road of practicable enlightenment. Just when you think you’ve got it all, in comes his father’s incredible Vietnam War journal –gripping tales of bravery and camaraderie, perfect for any military history fan. These real-life combat experiences are intense yet heartwarming, capturing the spirit of the marines in a way anyone will understand and appreciate. This family saga with a side of riveting war stories is top notch home-cooked inspiration!”

In Case You Missed It…

During the quarter I was a guest on a couple of podcasts you may want to check out.

Negotiate Anything Podcast – His Story, My Story, Our Story

Kwame Christian, founder of the American Negotiation Institute and host of the Negotiate Anything podcast, invited me back to the show…for the 5th time! This conversation didn’t revolve around influence or negotiations. Instead, we talked about my book, His Story, My Story, Our Story. Fatherhood, sacrifice, and service were themes we touched on. Click here to listen.

The Nudge Podcast – Can I Persuade 20 Strangers to Listen to The Nudge Podcast?

I joined Phil Agnew on his podcast, Nudge, to discuss the real-world application of pre-suasion approaches. What was so interesting is that Phil took what we discussed and put it to the test to see if he could use pre-suasion to convince more people to listen to his show. Click here to listen and find out the results of his experiment.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

PAVE the Way for New Year’s Resolutions

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The following is a chapter from Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. This chapter is particularly appropriate just before New Year’s Eve. I hope it helps you get 2025 off to a great start.

PAVE the Way for New Year’s Resolutions

If you’re like many people, then you make New Year’s resolutions; and, if you’re like most people, you break your resolutions within a week or two. According to one study, more than half the people who make resolutions are confident of achieving them, yet only about 10% do so.

That’s unfortunate because most resolutions are good! Here are some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions:

  • Prioritize family
  • Lose weight
  • Begin exercising
  • Quit smoking
  • Reduce debt
  • Get organized
  • Stop drinking

The list is admirable so why are these goals so difficult to achieve for nine out of 10 people? There are as many reasons as there are resolu- tions and dwelling on those reasons would not be as beneficial as giv- ing you scientifically proven ideas that can help make next New Year’s different. I’ll share an influence technique that can help you PAVE the way to success in the New Year.

In the study of persuasion there’s a powerful motivator of behavior known as the principle of consistency. This proven rule tells us people feel internal and external psychological pressure to act in ways that are consistent with their prior actions, words, deeds, beliefs and val- ues. When we act in consistent ways we feel better about ourselves and other people perceive us in a more favorable light. Mahatma Gandhi put it this way, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”

There are four simple things you can do with consistency to help you keep your resolutions. These easy to implement ideas will help you PAVE the way to success because they’ll dramatically increase the odds that you’ll follow through on your New Year’s resolutions – or any other personal changes you want to make.

Public – Whenever you make a public statement, whether verbally or in writing, you put yourself and your reputation on the line. The mere fact that another person knows your intentions and might ask you how you’re doing, often motivates you to follow through.

This came to light in a study with a group of students who wanted to improve their college grades. One group was asked to share their goal with some people. One group kept their goals in their heads and a third group made no specific goal whatsoever. As you might guess, the group with the publicly stated goals succeeded, with nearly 90% of students increasing their grades by a full letter grade! With the other two groups the results were identical and poor. In each group fewer than one in six students improved by a full letter grade. It’s worth noting, they were all given the same study materials so they all had the same opportunity to better their GPA.

Recommendation #1 – Publicize! Share your New Year’s reso- lution with another person, or group of people, and ask them to hold you accountable.

Active – You have to actively do something. Merely thinking about a resolution, just keeping it to yourself as some sort of secret, will lead to the same results as people who don’t make any resolutions. In other words, nothing will change. However, when you do a few things, you build momentum towards your goal. Each active step gets you closer to success.

Recommendation #2 – Make sure you have to take some active steps. It could be as simple as buying a book about the changes you hope to make or writing your goals down and posting on your mirror.

Voluntary – This has to be your goal, not someone else’s goal for you. If you’re trying to do something – quit smoking, lose weight, get in shape – it’s not likely your motivation will last if someone basically forced you to do it. The goal has to come from you because if it’s imposed it’s not likely your willpower will last long. Samuel Butler said it best when he wrote, “He who complies against his will is of the same opinion still.”

Recommendation #3 – Make sure it’s something you really want to do – of your own free choice.

Effort – It was already noted that you have to actively do something. In other words, making the commitment should require some effort on your part and the more effort you expend setting up your goal, the more likely you are to succeed. Something as simple as writing down your resolution in a journal can make a difference but don’t stop there. Share it with others to fulfill the public requirement, which gives you more bang for the buck!

Recommendation #4 – A little more effort, like committing pen to paper in a daily journal, will increase your chances for success significantly.

How can you Influence PEOPLE? Sometimes the person you need to influence is yourself! Try to PAVE the way to your success and enjoy the results. If you’ve failed at your resolutions, or other types of personal change, then why not give the PAVE approach a try?

  1. Public – Share your resolutions with others.
  2. Active – Take some active steps.
  3. Voluntary – Make it your goal and own it.
  4. Effort – Remember, more effort equals more commitment.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Santa Claus — The Greatest Salesman Who Ever Lived

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Each year around Christmas I share a variation of this post. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus — The Greatest Salesman Who Ever Lived

Why do I believe Santa is the ultimate salesman? To start, he has a couple of success stories most of us can’t compete with. First, he’s successfully run the same family business for hundreds of years. There’s something to be said for stability, especially over the long haul.

Second, Santa has a client base that expands every year — no matter the state of the global economy.

Can your business make those claims?

But those aren’t the reasons I believe Santa is the greatest salesman who ever lived. Contrary to what you might think, his success doesn’t come from his business savvy. After all, consider the obstacles he has to deal with.

  • Business attire: Santa obviously doesn’t buy into the “dress for success” philosophy. Power suits are fine but a red suit and hat, both lined with fur, is a little over the top in today’s casual business environment.
  • Delivery system: Santa’s remains way behind the times here. His “One Day Delivery” is literally that – you get your packages one day a year. He doesn’t seem to notice in today’s economy people want what they want, when they want it, and that usually means now. But the real problem behind “One Day Delivery” might just be his delivery method. I think you’d agree the U.S. Postal Service, FedEx, or UPS would be much more efficient than eight tiny reindeer pulling a small sleigh.
  • Manufacturing: Some say Santa’s operation is too labor-intensive to survive much longer. After all, he’s competing with Wal-Mart, Amazon, Apple, and other giant organizations. In today’s marketplace, how can any business can get by without automating? Perhaps if he automated a process or two he’d have enough inventory to open this store more than one day a year.
  • Efficiency: I realize Santa gives his product away for free but that doesn’t mean it costs him nothing. He has all those elves and reindeer to take care of. Food and lodging are bad enough but health care costs have to be crushing his profit margin! And, what about worker’s compensation costs? If he automated at least he’d save a little money and might be able to take Mrs. Claus on a nice vacation – somewhere warm for a change!
  • Branding: All companies change their branding to fit the times and Santa might want to consider doing the same. After all, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!” has gotten a bit old and stale over the centuries.
  • Orders: I think Santa could fill orders much faster if only he’d set up a website. And how about replacing all those last minute letters with email, text, instant messaging, or a Twitter account? It has to be painfully slow for him to read all those handwritten letters.

So, all this begs the question, “Why is Santa so successful…in spite of himself?” In business if you continually land new customers and retain the old ones then you’re doing something right. Here are six reasons Santa continually attracts new customers and retains all his current ones:

  1. He loves his job! Perhaps, “Ho, Ho, Ho,” is his corporate culture and not just some slick branding slogan.
    – Could you do the same job day after day, year after year, for most of your life, and remain so upbeat and jolly?
  2. He genuinely cares for his customers. His goal is to meet everyone’s needs and all he hopes for in return is to see joy on their faces. He personifies what it means to be customer focused.
    – Do you get joy from serving your customers?
  3. He gets to the personal side of selling. Granted he’s not always accessible but he doesn’t expect clients to come to him. When he’s at his absolute busiest, with his deadline approaching and delivery date nearing, he can be seen everywhere talking with his customers. How he can be in so many places at one time I’ll never know.
    – How often do you initiate contact with your customers, even when it’s inconvenient for you?
  4. He creates an experience. A toy is just a toy, except when it’s from Santa. Because it only comes once a year and will be found under the tree on Christmas morning it creates anticipation and builds excitement! That’s so much better than getting something online or from some mail order catalog.
    – Do you create an experience for your customers?
  5. He adds value. When people hear the word “free” they often think “cheap” or wonder, “What’s the catch?” Even though Santa gives his products away we love what he gives us mostly because it comes from him. Don’t you have a few things you value above all others because of the person who gave it to you?
    – Do your customers see you adding value?
  6. He delivers on his promise. Santa does what he says and always delivers; no excuses, no extra charge, always on time!
    – Can your customer count on you to be that consistent?

So there you have it, six reasons behind the success of jolly old St. Nick. Did you notice that everything Santa does is within your power to do with your customers? That’s right, there’s no reason you can’t do the same things Santa does. And here’s some welcome news for most of you – you don’t have to wear a silly red uniform while you do those things!

I hope you enjoyed this post and that you and your loved ones have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 700,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

You Haven’t Given Me A Gift, You’ve Given Me An Obligation

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Across much of the world, it’s the holiday season and for many people the biggest holiday of them all is Christmas. Some celebrate Christmas as the season of joy and peace. For others, it’s the season of love. For most it’s the celebration of the birth of Jesus.

A huge part of the modern celebration of Christmas is Santa Claus, Christmas trees, and holiday music. In some stores Christmas music started around Halloween! Of course, the holiday season represents the bulk of sales for many retail stores, sometimes accounting for as much as 70% of their gross revenue!  A successful holiday season is a matter of economic survival for many businesses.

Gift Giving

All of this leads to another Christmas tradition – gift giving. The television show The Big Bang Theory had an excellent holiday episode on the exchange of gifts. Sheldon feels pressure because Penny got him a Christmas present and here is some of their interaction:

  • Sheldon: You bought me a present?
  • Penny: Yes.
  • Sheldon: Why would you do such a thing?
  • Penny: I don’t know, because it’s Christmas.
  • Sheldon: No Penny, I know you’re thinking you’re being generous but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven’t given me a gift, you’ve given me an obligation.
  • Penny: Honey, it’s okay, you don’t have to give me anything in return.
  • Sheldon: Of course I do. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as the gift you’ve given me. Gosh, no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.

The skit nails the rule of reciprocity. A powerful principle of influence, reciprocity alerts us to this reality – we feel obligated to give back to those who’ve given to us. We are taught this rule in early childhood. Someone did something kind for you and mom or dad said, “What do you say?” You responded, “Thank you.” And the conditioning began! Sheldon wasn’t responding to Penny out of the goodness of his heart but rather a lifetime of conditioning when he felt the need to match Penny’s gift.

We also see reciprocity at work powerfully in another of the Christmas traditions – exchanging holiday cards. Have you ever received a card in the mail from someone not on your list? How did you feel? If you’re like most people you probably responded in one of two ways:

  1. Got a card in the mail to the other person pronto, or
  2. Added the person to your mailing list for next year.

Why Do You Respond?

Why do you respond this way so often? Because it would be socially awkward next time you saw the other person if you didn’t reciprocate and they noticed.

In fact, we’re so conditioned by reciprocity that we often respond when we don’t really want to. Here are some examples:

  • You’re at the mall and someone from a kiosk shoves something in your face and begins asking you questions. You respond, “No thanks,” even though you’re not thankful they accosted you.
  • You get mailing labels in the mailbox and you respond to these “gifts” by sending the charitable organization a small donation.
  • You’re out with friends, have had enough to drink and are ready to go home, but you stick around to buy a round because you don’t want to be seen as having drinks but not paying for a round.

Some Uplifting News

But there’s good news in all this. Sheldon wasn’t 100% accurate. He said suicide rates skyrocket during the holidays but that’s not true. According the NYU Lagone Medical Center, “The media often links suicides during this time of year to the ‘holiday blues.’ However, various studies have shown no relationship between depression and suicide, and the holiday season. In fact, researchers found that depression rates and suicides actually drop during the winter months and peak in the spring.”

Conclusion

While it may be the season to reciprocate, don’t buy gifts and send cards this time of year under penalty of death. But beware, you might feel awkward around some people for a time if you break the rule of reciprocity.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 650,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

The Vacation Bathing Suit Revisited!

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The Original Story: Reverse Psychology and the Bathing Suit

Early on in my blog, I wrote a piece called “Reverse Psychology and the Vacation Bathing Suit” and people found it to be quite funny. In fact, when I tell the story during training classes I always get lots of laughs. Many years ago, I tricked my wife into buying the bathing suit I liked. I look at it this way: I’m the one who will be looking at it more than anyone else, so I should have a strong vote. I got my way because I told her I didn’t like a particular swimsuit knowing that would probably make her want the suit. It’s a husband-wife thing that guys will get for sure.

A New Vacation, A Familiar Challenge

Not too long ago we (Jane and I along with Abigail and her friend) found ourselves in familiar territory once again. With just over a week to go before vacation, we were at the mall when Jane announced, “I need a new swimsuit for vacation.” My eyes lit up and the wheels started turning in my mind!

The Plan: Double Reverse Psychology

Immediately I said I was going to have to use double reverse psychology to get what I wanted. That was mostly to make Abigail laugh and throw Jane off the scent of the trail. But I did have a plan.

We got to the section of the store where the women’s bathing suits were and there wasn’t much of a selection, at least from a guy’s point of view. Mostly floral patterns and designs that looked like things your grandma wore when you were ten years old.

The Psychology of Compare and Contrast

In psychology there’s something we call compare and contrast. Whatever you present first dramatically impacts what comes next. For example, a woman might think a certain guy is reasonably good-looking…until Brad Pitt walks into the room. All of a sudden Mr. Reasonable becomes Mr. Undesirable when standing near Mr. Pitt.

Another example: you love your quaint little house with all its idiosyncrasies…until you go to the Parade of Homes and see what the Jones’ have. Now it’s a race to keep up with the Jones because your quaint home ain’t so quaint no more…by comparison.

You get the basic gist of compare and contrast and that became my angle with the help of my young accomplice. I told Abigail to go hold up some really bad suits so the ones I liked would look extra good by comparison. After seeing a few suits that might look good on her mother’s mother my choices looked pretty appealing to Jane. But the real test still remained – the dressing room mirror!

The Dressing Room Test

Jane took three suits in which was a good move on her part because it’s easy to compare three but get beyond that and it’s tough. Have only one, and you won’t know if something might look better. The same goes for looking at just two swimsuits. Think about it for a moment, most things are sold in threes: small, medium, large. If you’re at Starbucks it’s Tall, Grande or Venti. I’m a runner and running shoes always have a low end pair, medium and high priced shoes. Pay attention, and you’ll be amazed.

So, Jane tried on all three and I liked all of them. When she’d come out and ask my opinion of a particular suit, I’d tell her I liked it. She accused me of playing mind games with her and said that she didn’t know what to think. I did have one I liked most but I wouldn’t have been disappointed with any of them. It was like someone offering me a date with Miss Ohio, Miss California or Miss Texas – I might have a favorite but I’m going home happy no matter what. And so it was when we left the store.

The Aftermath: Posting the Picture

So you might be wondering, where’s the picture? I did include a photo in the original post and got an email from Jane that read, “YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK MY PERMISSION BEFORE POSTING MY PICTURE WEARING A BATHING SUIT ON THE INTERNET.” (Caps were her idea) Actually, she was good natured about it but I’m not about to press my luck. As you read this the family and I are enjoying a week’s vacation at Put in Bay and I’m enjoying Jane in her new swim suit. Life is good.

The Takeaway: Using Compare and Contrast in Persuasion

My goal with this blog is to help you to learn to hear “Yes!” Become effective at using compare and contrast and you’ll be able to frame your persuasion appeal in a way that gives you the best chance of hearing that simple three letter word.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

The Most Influential Holiday Gifts You Can Give 😊

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I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you’re a go-getter, you may already be getting ready to celebrate another holiday – Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, or Festivus 😊 – so it’s a good bet you’ll be exchanging gifts with friends and family.

I’m sure you want those important people in your life to enjoy more success and happiness, so I hope you’ll consider giving one or more of my books as a gift.

The Influencer

The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness tells the  story of John Andrews, an ordinary person who becomes an extraordinary influencer as he learns from coaches, mentors, friends, and others on his life journey.

Nearly every character you’ll read about is based on someone I learned valuable lessons from in life, so it was an honor to include them in the book.

Available in Paperback or Kindle

 

 

Influence PEOPLE

Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical is a business/psychology book that dives deep into the practical application of influence in everyday situations including  business examples, case studies, social media, and more.

Influence PEOPLE was named One of the Top 100 Influence  Books of All Time by Book Authority!

Available in Paperback, Kindle, or Audible

 

 

Persuasive Selling

If you’re in sales, even if you’re not in insurance, then Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents is the book for you because you’ll learn how to ethically influence clients at each step in the sales cycle.

You’ll also find out how to influence people based on their personality, ways to incorporate pre-suasion into sales, and you’ll learn a five-step process to significantly improve your listening skills.

Available in Paperback or Kindle

 

Buy the Bundle and Save 15%

All three books tother would be $50 on Amazon. However, if you’d like autographed copies of each along with a personal letter, you can buy the bundle for only $43 – a savings of 15%! (U.S. residents only due to shipping)

From my family to yours, Happy Holidays!

 

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Why Black Friday Makes Us Irrational (And How to Shop Smarter)

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Why Does Black Friday Make Us Crazy?

Black Friday—the unofficial kickoff to the holiday shopping season is days away. You’ve probably seen the videos: doors flung open as shoppers rush in, some even jostling for position like big time wrestlers. Why do otherwise “rational” people brave the chaos, endure early morning alarms (4 am), and scramble to grab a deal? The answer lies in the powerful psychological principle of scarcity.

Black Friday isn’t just a shopping day—it’s a masterclass in influence.

Scarcity: The Power of “Not Enough”

Psychologists have long known that people place higher value on things they perceive as scarce. Black Friday sales exploit this brilliantly. Retailers play the scarcity card two ways: time-limited deals and limited availability. You’ve seen the ads: “One day only!” or “While supplies last!” That ticking clock on your favorite retailer’s website or the “only 3 left in stock” triggers an almost automatic response: I need this now.

When faced with scarcity, we often don’t think about whether the deal is actually good or even if we need the item. We act out of a deep-seated fear of missing out. Ironically, the scarcity mindset blinds us to the fact that discounts might improve closer to Christmas when stores clear inventory. But by then, the lure of Black Friday has done its job.

A Competitive Edge: Shopping as a Sport

Black Friday taps into another psychological driver: competition. Standing in line or fighting for the last item on the shelf creates a sense of rivalry. Success isn’t just about snagging a deal—it’s about winning. Retailers know this and create a competitive atmosphere by emphasizing limited stock. Suddenly, grabbing that gaming console isn’t just a purchase; it’s a kind of victory.

Are the Savings Worth It?

Let’s talk about the math. Imagine spending 12 hours shopping to save $200 on a big-screen TV. That works out to about $16.67 per hour. Would you normally take a job that paid so little for such a hassle? Probably not. But when we’re in the moment, driven by emotion and competition, logic often takes a backseat.

Even more perplexing is how people rationalize these choices. Many wouldn’t drive across town to save $200 on a car—a much bigger purchase—but they’ll sacrifice sleep and time for a $200 discount on electronics. Behavioral economist Dan Ariely calls this phenomenon predictable irrationality, and it’s on full display every Black Friday.

Reflection Over Frenzy

I’m not here to tell you not to shop on Black Friday. For some, it’s a cherished tradition—a mix of adrenaline, bonding, and bargain hunting. But I encourage you to pause and reflect before diving into the frenzy. Ask yourself:

  • Would I make this effort on any other day?
  • Am I shopping because I need something, or because the marketing told me I’d miss out?

If you answer honestly, you might save yourself time, stress, and maybe even money.

Conclusion

Black Friday is a fascinating case study in influence. It’s a reminder of how our decisions—especially financial ones—are shaped not just by logic but by psychology. As you prepare for the holiday season, consider how the principles of scarcity (competition) and even reciprocity (those “doorbuster” deals designed to pull you in) influence your behavior.

Do you participate in Black Friday? If so, what drives your decisions?

Happy Thanksgiving—and if you shop, happy bargain hunting!

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Don’t Ask to Pick My Brain – Hire Me!

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Let’s get right to the point: Don’t ask to pick my brain. Hire me.

If you’re a consultant, coach, or in any field where advice is your product, you’ve probably heard requests like “Can I pick your brain?” or “Can we hop on a quick call? I’d love your thoughts.” It sounds innocent, even flattering, but here’s the reality: They’re asking for free advice.

Time and expertise are valuable. When someone casually requests “just 30 minutes on Zoom,” they often overlook the years it took to gain that expertise and the countless hours spent mastering that skill. What might look like “just 30 minutes” is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what someone like me – and many of you reading this – have invested.

Business Isn’t Free – and Neither Is Expertise

As an entrepreneur, I quickly learned that every aspect of the business comes with a cost. In a corporate role, you have teams for marketing, accounting, and more. But when you’re solo, you either spend your own time on tasks or pay someone else to handle them. This reality hit me hard when I first left the corporate world: time is money.

When I seek advice from professionals like my accountant or lawyer, there’s a charge. And that’s not only fair; it’s essential. They’ve built their careers and expertise over years, and their clients respect that investment.

Why I’ve Had to Learn Boundaries

I work as one of only a dozen Cialdini Certified trainers globally, and I’m also a LinkedIn Learning instructor. My role centers on helping others develop their ethical influence skills, and I genuinely love doing this work. But, early on, I learned a valuable lesson: saying “yes” to every “pick your brain” request didn’t lead to new clients. Instead, it left me drained and devalued the advice I was sharing. And for those of you who charge for your expertise, I imagine you can relate.

Free advice isn’t fair to paying clients. People who have invested in your services deserve your full attention and commitment. They aren’t just supporting your business; they’re showing respect for your knowledge.

Why “Free” Speaking Gigs Often Aren’t Worth It

The same principle applies to speaking engagements. I used to accept “opportunities” where I wouldn’t get paid, hoping the exposure would land me clients. However, it rarely did. Now, I politely decline non-paying speaking offers and explain that I owe it to paying clients to keep a standard. Exposure is great, but compensation respects the effort and preparation required.

Respecting Expertise Means Valuing It

If you’re an entrepreneur, remember: it’s okay to set boundaries. A brief introductory chat is fine when time allows, but beyond that, your expertise has a price – as it should.

And for those seeking advice, consider this: You wouldn’t expect free counsel from your doctor, lawyer, or accountant. The same respect should apply to consultants and coaches who, like any professional, have invested heavily in their skills.

A Story to Illustrate the Value of Expertise

I’ll leave you with a classic story that captures this dynamic perfectly:

A manufacturing company faced a major breakdown and called a repair specialist. After a few minutes of assessment, the repairman grabbed a wrench, turned one screw, and the machine was up and running. His bill? $10,000. The client, shocked, asked, “$10,000 for turning one screw?” The repairman replied, “Turning the screw was $10. Knowing which screw to turn – that’s $9,990.”

Expertise isn’t just about actions; it’s about knowing the right action.

On LinkedIn, I share tips, insights, and stories daily – all for free. But if that content isn’t enough to help you implement solutions, consider it a signal: it’s time to hire me (or whoever’s expertise you seek).

So, the next time you think about picking someone’s brain, ask yourself: “Do I value their time and expertise enough to pay for it?”

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

The Influencer Trainee

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This is my last week on the other side of the world so I’ll share some one more writing from one of my books.

Today’s post comes from my third book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness. This book is a business parable that follows the life of John Andrews, and ordinary person who becomes and extraordinary influencer. Here you’ll read about his time as a trainee on his first job out of college.

The Trainee

Although John enjoyed the two months off between graduation and starting his first job, he was chomping at the bit to begin this new phase of life. College had been fun but by the time he was a senior he’d had his fill of campus life and everything that goes with it. Seeing friends who’d started their careers made him a bit envious. They had new cars, nice apartments, and some were traveling.

It was mid-July when John walked into MediTech headquarters as a trainee. The front of the three-story building was mostly glass and the morning sun lit up the entire lobby, giving a pleasant feel to start the day. The workday started at 8:00 a.m. but the trainees were told to arrive at 8:30 a.m. so everything would be ready for their first day. The atmosphere of the corporate headquarters was exciting and a little overwhelming initially. There was a buzz about the place as people hurried to and from meetings. Despite the hectic pace it was a friendly atmosphere as people walked by and said hello to one another.

The company put him and five other sales trainees up in apartments for three months. They would all go through an eight-week training program then spend a month shadowing various salespeople before getting their territory assignments. John’s assignment could land him anywhere in the country and he was excited about the possibilities. He’d spent his entire life in the Midwest and wanted to see more of the country.

The training would focus on teaching him and the others about the industry, the company, their products and services, their ideal customers, and basic selling skills.

While three months of training seemed like it would be a long time, especially from the perspective of a 22-year-old, it flew by. Everything was new – the city, the company, the people he met, the places he went, what he was learning – and that seemed to speed up everything. John and the other trainees felt like they were drinking from a firehose. At least in college there were breaks between classes, but this learning was 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. followed by at least an hour of study every night. He felt like a whole year of college was crammed into those few months of training.

Fortunately, John loved everything about the experience. Unlike many college courses, he knew what he was learning at MediTech would be directly applicable to his role as a sales rep. Just as he’d done with his Psych 101 course, John wrote down the highlights of what he was learning. This time he used yellow sticky notes that he strategically placed around his apartment and office. They served as visual reminders of what he needed to keep front and center. Below is what stood out to John. What he wrote on his sticky notes are in italicized font followed by his interpretation of the message.

  • Is this a career or just a job? He needed to decide because there was a big difference. Approaching his new role at MediTech as a career, not just a job, was as different as approaching something as a passion instead of a hobby. He knew he would pour more time, energy, and effort into a passion over a hobby. Knowing that, he decided he would view his work as a career, not some job he took just to pay the bills.
  • If you don’t believe in your company, why should anyone else? If you can’t look a prospective customer in the eye and confidently tell them you believe you’re their best option, why would they ever place their business with you? No company is perfect and sometimes you have to acknowledge a competitor might be the right choice. That kind of integrity will win you more business than you lose.
  • The customer isn’t always right and that’s why they need a good salesperson. This one shocked John because it went against the old adage that the customer was always right. Then he realized, how can anyone always be right? Especially in the absence of all the information? A prospective customer will never know as much about your company, your products and services, or competitors as a good salesperson. This understanding can be used to gently show prospects there might be a better way than they’re currently considering.
  • “Selling is the process of persuading a person that your product or service is of greater value to him or her than the price you’re asking for it.” John heard this quote from sales guru Brian Tracy used several times in the sales training. It made sense because it reminded him of what he’d learned about the science of influence in that psych class during his freshman year of college. Persuasion was the underpinning of selling.
  • People prefer to do business with people they like. This also took him back to that psych class. He remembered his likability was a big reason he got the job offers. He was beginning to realize what he learned in the class was the secret for dealing with people and selling.
  • “Yes!” is critical for your professional success and personal happiness. John knew success in sales was contingent on getting customers to say yes. He also saw that getting to yes was critical to get the company to adopt any new ideas he might come up with. On a personal level he knew he’d never get a date without hearing yes first.

While John learned much more during the first two months of training, these pearls of wisdom stood out from the rest.

Interesting in read more about John Andrews and his journey to become an influence master? Click here to order you copy of The Influencer.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

 

Everybody Sells, Everybody Influences

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As I mentioned last week, I will be out of town for most of the last three weeks of October, including a two-week trip to Australia! Given the time change (14 hours ahead on the other side of the dateline), I decided to share some writings from my books.

This post is a short section from my second book, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents. You’ll find out Brian Tracy’s definition of selling (it’s the best I’ve come across so no need to reinvent the wheel) as well as the value equation.

Everybody Sells

You’ve probably heard it said we’re selling all the time, every day. It may be a product, a service, an idea, your company, or yourself. Whatever it is, you’re trying to get people to buy or buy-in.

“Everybody sells” was our mantra at the insurance company where I worked for decades. My former boss and close friend, John Petrucci, revived that concept and infused it throughout the organization. The cultural belief was everybody had a hand in promoting our company. Done well, this would result in customers wanting to buy our insurance products, agents would want to represent our company, and people would want to work for the organization.

Seldom was money exchanged in those interactions, but there was a whole lot of persuasion taking place because, at its core, selling is persuading. As noted earlier, Brian Tracy hit the nail on the head when he said, “Selling is the process of persuading a person that your product or service is worth more to him or her than the price you’re asking.” That’s a great definition for selling so let’s break it down into its three core components:

Selling is a process. Too many people approach selling like they do most other things in life – they wing it, making it up as they go – rather than following a disciplined process. Unfortunately, winging it in life, business, or sales, seldom leads to optimal results.

Flexibility is an important skill in life, business, and sales because even the best laid plans go awry. Ex-heavyweight champ Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan…until they get punched in the mouth.” When you take the proverbial punch in sales you need to be ready to pivot and respond.

As a student of improv comedy I’m all for creativity and improvising in the moment. You may not know this but even improv comedy has rules for creating great scenes and experiences for audiences. Perhaps the two best known improv rules are:

  1. Yes, and… This rule teaches improv students to affirm one another’s ideas then build on them. When you do this you can create great things out of nothing more than an idea.
  2. Make the other person look good. If each person in the improv group strives to give opportunities to others that are in their sweet spots then everyone can play to their strengths. Do this and everybody wins.

Improvising within those two simple rules leads to a better experience for the cast and audience. Likewise, understanding the sales process and thoughtfully maneuvering within it will create a better experience for the salesperson and prospective client.

Selling entails persuasion. Persuasion is more than changing hearts and minds. Those may be good first steps, but neither is enough if you don’t hear “Yes!” at the close of the sale. We’ll explore persuasion in-depth in the next chapter.

Selling is an exchange of value. We all value things differently. As a kid I collected baseball cards because I played Little League ball and looked up to the major league ball players. If you think about it, a baseball card is nothing more than a photograph with a baseball player’s statistics on the back. Despite that, some people are willing to pay thousands of dollars for certain cards because we all value things differently.

Think of value using this formula V = WIG / P. Value equals what I get divided by price. If you can get more insurance coverage for the same price that’s a better deal. Likewise, if you can get the same coverage limits but pay less, you feel like you’re getting a better deal. Value is all about what you get relative to what you pay. But make no mistake about it, value is about more than price and coverage. Some people place a premium on working with a local agent, for others outstanding claims service is the key, and for some it’s all about trusted relationships. It will be incumbent on you to determine what a prospect values as you ask questions throughout the sales process.

Everybody sells embodies the belief that we’re all selling every day. Once you understand this you begin approaching conversations differently because you realize everything you say and do matters. Make no mistake about it: persuasion is the heart of selling and comes into play in every step of the sales process. The more you understand how people think and behave, and the more you’re willing to incorporate that understanding into your communication, the more successful you will be.

If you like what you read and want to learn more about the intersection of influence and sales, click here to order your copy of Persuasive Selling.

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!