Today, November 10, 2025, marks the 150th birthday of the United States Marine Corps.

For every Marine—past, present, and future—this day is more than a milestone. It’s a reminder of what it means to serve, to sacrifice, and to live by a code that doesn’t fade when the uniform comes off.

My late father, Captain Brian Ahearn Sr., served in the Corps from 1962 to 1969. He spent 13 months in Vietnam, where he saw and experienced things that shaped the rest of his life—and mine.

When he passed away in September 2020, I felt compelled to write about him and the impact his service had on our family. The result was His Story, My Story, Our Story: Eternal Lessons of Fatherhood, Sacrifice, and Service. The book explores his time in the Marines, the scars left by war, and the way those scars ripple through generations.

Toward the end of his life, my father began writing extensively about his experiences in Vietnam. Putting words to the past helped him process what he had carried for decades. I’ve done the same through years of journaling. Together, our writings give a rare, side-by-side look at a father and son—one who went to war, and one who grew up in its shadow.

Here is an excerpt from my father’s writing:

From Captain Brian Ahearn Sr.:

After about three months, contacts increased, and we were able to take some wounded VC captives. We needed information. One prisoner in particular was brought to the ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam) HQ for interrogation. The ARVN did not like any VC. The VC prisoner was gut shot and didn’t have long to live. The ARVN decided to push him hard for information. Since I was the battalion S-2 (Intelligence Officer), I was present. They had dragged the VC out into the hot sun for interrogation. After a while, I couldn’t take any more of the ARVN brutality and through an interpreter told the ARVN officer to stop. He ignored me and went on. I pulled my .45 and put it to his head [Addition: my father told me his words were, “Kick him again and I’ll blow your f**ing head off!”]. He stopped and shortly after, the VC died [Addition: my father told me the man died in his arms under a tree]. I was verbally reprimanded by my CO who restated that we were guests of the Vietnamese. I always wondered if I would have shot him. I think I would have.*

The following is from my journal, written when I was 15 and trying to make sense of my parents’ separation—something that, like so many military families, had its roots in the aftershocks of war.

From my journal (age 15):

Well, dad moved out of the house. I didn’t see him, but I heard him talking to my mom. I haven’t seen him for nine days. Mom says if he asks me to go over for Thanksgiving, I should feel free to go. I shouldn’t spend it with either. I don’t really know what to think or do. On the outside I try not to show anything, but I don’t know what to think on the inside. My mom was asking me what I think about them getting a divorce. I told her to do what she wanted to do and I won’t let it affect me, or I’ll try not to let it. I also said he’s still my dad and the only difference would be that he’s not with us. But I’ve been thinking about how it might affect me. I think my grades might go down without him pushing me or I could act like nothing happened and do normal. There are two sides to everything. I know that I’d start staying out late and stuff like that because he wouldn’t be there expecting me home. My discipline will go down the drain, I know that. I guess I sometimes do things because I’m afraid of my dad but not my mom. Neither of them alone would have much control over me, they’re too busy. But together, when one isn’t looking after me the other is, so I don’t get away with anything. Or, I would have to self-discipline myself, so I don’t get f**ked over because of them. I guess I do need them pushing me. I realize you need all that stuff to be successful and I think I want to be successful. In that respect I admire my dad. He’s come a long way but he’s not successful in everything. This whole ordeal is proof. That’s what I want to be most successful at, love or marriage. That’s what I’m waiting for, the day I’m so in love that I get married.

These two perspectives—one from a Marine who saw war up close, and one from his teenage son trying to understand the fallout—represent just a glimpse of what so many families endure.

Honoring Those Who Served

If you’ve served in any branch of the military, or love someone who has, you know that service doesn’t end with discharge papers. It continues in the quiet moments, in the relationships that bend under invisible weight, and in the generations that follow.

So today, on the 150th birthday of the Marine Corps, I want to honor every Marine—and every family who’s walked alongside one.

If you’ve served, or know someone who has, I hope you’ll consider reading or gifting His Story, My Story, Our Story. Because while our stories are deeply personal, they remind us of something universal: we share more than we realize—and healing begins when those stories are told.

Click here to order your copy.

Semper Fi!

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

On many podcasts, I’ve been asked, “What’s one of your biggest takeaways after writing Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet?”

After finishing the book, I realized something surprising. For years, PEOPLE stood for Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. But now, I see it can also stand for Loving and Eternal to convey something deeper.

Ethical influence has always been central to my work. In fact, it was Stanford’s use of the word manipulation in an ad for Dr. Robert Cialdini’s work that ultimately led me to meet him—and changed the course of my career and life.

Being ethical is critical. Yet rules alone can have a subtle shortcoming. Human nature being what it is, when we define the line, many of us want to see how close we can get to it. But imagine instead if our motivation was love—if we sought to stay as far away from that line as possible because we genuinely cared about others’ well-being. That’s a much stronger foundation for influence.

In Influenced from Above, I explore how faith and influence work together—how Dr. Cialdini’s principles are supported by timeless biblical truths. That perspective led me to rethink PEOPLE through a new lens: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Loving and Eternal.

P – Powerful

What I teach isn’t opinion, it’s proven science. It’s grounded in more than nine decades of research by Dr. Cialdini and his fellow social scientists. That’s what makes these principles of influence so powerful.

E – Everyday

As a grandfather, I see influence in its purest form. From the moment my grandson Emmett arrived, he’s been influencing behavior to get his needs met! Throughout our lives, every day, we use influence to meet our needs and help others meet theirs.

O – Opportunities

Opportunities to apply the principles of influence are everywhere, though we often don’t notice them. Once you learn the language of influence, your perspective changes and you start spotting them all around you—at work, at home, and in everyday conversations.

P – Persuade

Persuasion is about changing how people think, feel, or behave—with the goal of inspiring action. After all, you don’t want a prospect to say, “Everything looks good,” but stop there. You want them to say yes and sign the contract.

L – Loving

This goes beyond creating win-win scenarios. Loving influence means putting the other person’s interests ahead of your own. If you love God with all your heart and love your neighbors as yourself, ethics takes care of itself because love will always guide you to do what’s right.

E – Eternal

Eternal takes influence beyond lasting impact. I believe when this life is over, only our souls endure. That means the way we influence others—through love, integrity, and care—can ripple into eternity.

Who and Why

As I reflect on the book and the journey that led to it, I realize my understanding of influence has grown deeper—not just intellectually, but spiritually. Influence isn’t only about what we do; it’s about who we are and why we do it.

Our daughter Abigail was the inspiration for Influenced from Above. When she was growing up, we had very few rules. We tried to teach her right from wrong by modeling trust and love. I’ll never forget when she once told my mom, “I would never do anything to break my parents’ trust.” If that’s the motivation, rules become unnecessary.

The same holds true for influence. When our motivation is love—when we seek what’s best for others—ethics no longer feels like a boundary. It becomes the natural outcome of genuine care.

When our influence is rooted in love, the rules take care of themselves, and our impact may reach far beyond what we can see here and now.

To purchase your copy of Influenced from Above, click here.

Special Bonus!

After you purchase the book, email the title of chapter 2 to BookLaunch@influencepeople.biz and I’ll send you a free copy of The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness as a thank you.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

When you look at a tree, what do you notice first? Probably the trunk, branches, or leaves. But none of what you see could exist without the roots. Roots stabilize and nourish the tree, allowing it to grow tall and endure storms.

Influence works much the same way. We can see persuasion in action, but often we don’t recognize the deeper roots that give it strength. In my upcoming book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, I explore how Robert Cialdini’s principles of influence connect to timeless spiritual truths.

Love Beyond Liking

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrestled with a question: “How do I love someone I don’t like?” Then it hit him—there was someone he didn’t always like but always loved—himself!

We all know that feeling. We may dislike our appearance, regret bad decisions, or struggle with habits we wish we could break. Yet we consistently act in our own best interest. That, too, is a form of love, self-love.

And here’s a truth about self-love, we all do it. In his letter to the church at Ephesus Paul addressed this, “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body” (Ephesians 5:29).

Lewis concluded that love isn’t simply a feeling. It’s a choice. He wrote, “Ceasing to be ‘in love’ did not mean ceasing to love. Loving the second sense—love is distinct from ‘ being in love’—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit” (Mere Christianity). It’s a unity maintained by will and strengthened through habit. In other words, love is active, not passive.

I’ll never forget a funny exchange with my wife, Jane. Years ago, when she was feeling down, she said, “You only love me because you make yourself think positive thoughts about me.”

I chuckled and replied, “If love is a choice, isn’t it better that I choose to think positively about you rather than rely on how I feel in the moment?”

That’s the essence of real love—it’s intentional, deliberate, and sustained by action.

The Influence of Unity

Lewis’s description of love as “deep unity” reminds me of Cialdini’s principle of unity. When unity is present, the line between self and other begins to blur. Helping someone within our circle feels almost like helping ourselves.

This makes me think of my late father, Captain Brian Ahearn Sr., a U.S. Marine who served in Vietnam. He may not have liked every Marine he served with, but he would have done anything for them—even potentially laying down his life. That’s what unity looks like in practice.

Jesus captured this truth when He told his disciples, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

The Influence of Reciprocity

Love also taps into reciprocity, another core principle of influence. Love gives first—and often, that giving is returned.

It’s why Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” and encouraged us to “do to others as you would have them do unto you.” Love initiates; reciprocity responds.

The apostle James addressed this too: “Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds” (James 2:18). Love in action is what makes faith visible.

Spiritual Roots, Eternal Impact

When we connect the principles of influence to their spiritual roots, we see something profound. Influence isn’t just about being ethical or effective—it’s about making an eternal impact.

Unity binds us together through shared identity. Reciprocity strengthens those bonds through cycles of giving and receiving. When we intentionally engage both, we don’t just influence outcomes—we influence lives through love.

That’s the vision of Influenced from Above. My hope is that as you read, you’ll begin to see these connections everywhere. Just as roots nourish the tree, spiritual truths give depth and stability to our influence.

Reflection

So let me leave you with two questions to reflect on:

Have you ever chosen to love, even when someone didn’t “deserve” it?
Can you recall a time when giving came at a cost—but you gave anyway?

Those are the moments when influence transcends persuasion. They’re the moments where faith and influence meet.

Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet releases October 21. I’d love for you to get a sneak peek today—and perhaps see influence in a new light, rooted in something deeper than you ever imagined.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 800,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

Do you believe God still speaks to us today?

I do. And one experience from early in my marriage made me a believer.

Jane and I, like many young couples, hit a season of struggle. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t seem to break through.

One morning, driving to work, I prayed: “God, all I want is her heart.”

And in the quiet of that moment, I sensed a reply deep within: “Her heart is Mine, and you never asked Me for it.”

Then God brought something to mind that I’d never considered. When I asked Jane to marry me, I hadn’t asked her father’s permission. It wasn’t intentional—I simply didn’t know that tradition. But suddenly I realized: asking her father for her hand was a picture of asking God for her heart.

At that realization I wept.

Later, I apologized to Jane’s father. He was gracious and told me he never thought much about it. But for me, that moment was transformative. I understood that winning Jane’s heart wasn’t about my effort alone—it was about aligning myself with God.

Influenced from Above

In my upcoming book, Influenced from Above: Where Faith and Influence Meet, the main character, John Andrews, faces a similar struggle. He believes in prayer but isn’t sure God actually speaks to us. As the story unfolds, his eyes and ears open. He begins to see that God had been speaking all along—he just hadn’t noticed.

That’s not so different from how influence works in everyday life.

Opportunities Missed

In my teaching, I often use the acronym PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical.

The challenge isn’t that opportunities don’t exist—it’s that we don’t always see them.

Think about buying a new car. The week after, it suddenly feels like everyone is driving the same car you just purchased. Of course, those cars were always there. But now that your focus has shifted, you notice them.

I believe God’s voice works in much the same way. When our eyes, ears, and hearts are open, we begin to notice His presence in ways that surprise us. And once we start noticing, we realize He’s been speaking all along.

Cialdini’s Principles of Influence

These research based principles show us how people respond to reciprocity, authority, consistency, liking, consensus, scarcity, and unity. They help us build trust, inspire commitment, and foster connection. But behind those principles are deeper truths—truths woven into humanity itself.

That’s the heart of Influenced from Above. Influence isn’t just a human tool for better business or relationships. It’s a reflection of something greater. God designed influence, and when we use it ethically and with humility, we tap into something eternal.

That’s why I tell audiences that influence isn’t about manipulation. It’s about aligning with truth, treating people with respect, and creating outcomes that are mutually beneficial. When we do that, influence not only changes behavior—it can change hearts.

Why doesn’t God make His voice louder or clearer?

I don’t think God competes with the noise of our world. He doesn’t need to. He patiently waits until we’re ready to notice. Influence works the same way. People respond best when they feel like they’re buying as opposed to “being sold.” When we create the right environment—what Dr. Cialdini calls pre-suasion—the path to “yes” feels natural.

If you’d like to see how this plays out in John Andrews’ story, I invite you to read the preview chapters of Influenced from Above (link below). In it, you’ll witness John’s first undeniable experience of hearing God speak—and how it reshapes his understanding of both faith and influence.

Two Questions to Ponder

• Have you ever experienced a moment when you knew God was speaking directly to you?
• In what ways do you sense His presence guiding your daily life?

Your story might be the encouragement someone else needs today. And who knows? Sharing it might be the influence God intends for you to have.

Want a sneak peek at Influenced from Above? Click here.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 800,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

A few days ago, I posted something on Facebook that stirred a surprising amount of response:

“Feeling empty at the breaking news—Charlie Kirk has died.”

That one sentence sparked quite a conversation. My intent wasn’t political or provocative. I was simply expressing a raw emotion in real time, and it got me thinking: Why do we mourn deeply for some people and not for others?

A former coworker, someone I consider a friend, replied to my post:

“Why didn’t you post this after the death of the member of the Minnesota legislature, or the attempted assassination of Nancy Pelosi? I absolutely hate the gun violence that is becoming more and more common in our society. That gives me an empty feeling far more so than the death of any individual victim of gun violence…”

Now, if you’ve followed my work or read my books, you know I believe online debates rarely change minds. I didn’t argue. Instead, I responded:

“You know I’m not gonna debate with you online. If you’d like to have coffee sometime, I would be happy to get together to catch up and share views and learn from each other.”

He hasn’t taken me up on the offer. But many others messaged privately to say they appreciated how I handled it.

Why Some Losses Hit Harder

I’ve been reflecting: What causes us to care so deeply for some people, even when we’ve never met them—and feel comparatively little for others, even when their stories are tragic? Let’s explore that.

If you hear about someone dying in another country, you may feel a brief moment of sympathy. But if that person is from your hometown, you likely feel it more. If they share your profession, your beliefs, or your background—that grief deepens.

That’s not callousness. It’s human nature. Our brains are wired to prioritize people we perceive as “us” over “them.” As Dr. Robert Cialdini writes in Pre-suasion, the principle of unity plays a powerful role in shaping our empathy. We’re more likely to care, to act, and to mourn when we feel connected through shared identity.

There’s a haunting example in Cialdini’s book: A Nazi guard, under orders to execute every 10th person in a line, suddenly spares one. When asked why, he said he recognized his as being from his hometown. That one detail—a shared origin—was enough to create a sense of “we,” and it altered his behavior. That’s unity.

The Influence of Familiarity and Liking

When I heard of Charlie Kirk’s death, I felt something personal. I’d never met him, but I’d seen many of his videos and public appearances on television. Over time, that creates a sense of familiarity—a key aspect of the principle of liking. The more we see someone we have a positive view of, the more we tend to like and trust them. It’s why we often feel closer to people on our screens (athletes, entertainers, etc.) than strangers down the street.

But it wasn’t just familiarity. It was also shared values. While I didn’t agree with everything Kirk said—truthfully, I don’t even agree with everything my wife says, and there’s no one I love more—there were enough common beliefs to feel a sense of alignment.

So, when Charlie passed, it felt personal. Not because I knew him—but because I felt like I did.

That was the principle of liking at work on me.

Are We All Subject to These Triggers?

Absolutely. No matter where we fall on the political, religious, or cultural spectrum, these psychological triggers shape us all. If someone who resembles us, agrees with us, or reminds us of us is harmed or lost—we care more. And while that doesn’t feel fair, it is profoundly human.

That’s not an excuse—it’s a mirror. Recognizing this tendency can help us expand our circles of empathy and become more intentional with our compassion.

As I share in Influence PEOPLE, influence is about recognizing Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical. And before we can influence others, we need to understand what’s influencing us.

Let’s Talk, Not Troll

I still hope my friend takes me up on that coffee. We’ve shared good memories over the decades. We were once in a men’s group together. I respect him, and I’d enjoy reconnecting. But whether or not that happens, I’m at peace. I know I extended the invitation with sincerity and respect—two things we could all use a bit more of.

In a world filled with outrage and division, let’s choose to be influenced by personal interaction, not algorithms. Let’s be thoughtful about who we mourn—and why.

And let’s keep the door open for real conversations, the kind that don’t require comment sections to feel complete.

What About You?

• Have you ever been surprised by how much someone’s death affected you?
• Do you find yourself mourning some tragedies more than others?
• How do unity, liking, or familiarity shape your sense of empathy?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Let’s keep the conversation going.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute.

An author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. His follow-up, Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 800,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!